 The Cavalcade of America sponsored by Dupont, maker of better things for better living through chemistry, presents Bob Hope in a journey of American laughter from the home front to the fighting front. Bob Hope reports. Tonight the Cavalcade of America re-enacts the greatest odyssey of laughter of this or any war. The story of Francis Langford, Tony Romano, Jack Pepper and Bob Hope, who armed with music and humor, brought a touch of America to the men who have seen their comrades die for America. Of these four patriots, one is here to tell the nation how the American industry ranks with gun, plane, farm and factory as a fighting weapon of war. Speaking for his three companions and starring in our program written by Glenn Wheaton, the number one comedian of the armed forces, Bob Hope on the Cavalcade of America. This is Bob just back from overseas Hope, telling everybody that when the Axis got their ration books, Hitler worried about the Reds, Tojo the White and Mussolini Blue. All the words are in there. I'm very happy. I'm very happy to have the chance to tell you about our trip this summer because it was really exciting, especially that plane trip over the Atlantic. What a plane trip. Some guy on the radio was singing Let's Get Lost and the pilot was taking him seriously. It was a rough trip, but I wasn't scared until I looked through the window and saw the inside of the plane. And that Francis Langford is a real gambler. Right in the middle of the storm, she said, Bob, I'll toss you for your dinner. And I said, thanks, but the plane just beat you to it. But I wasn't worried. We were only a stone's throw from the ocean. But I want to tell you, we flew only a stone's throw from the ocean. We flew quite a bit in England, and you know those English flyers have their own way of doing things. I was over enemy territory with an English flyer, and I said, why don't you look through the bomb site? And he said, we can't. We're boiling tea in it. But I wasn't nervous until I noticed how small my parachute was. Then I looked at it again, and I said, Lipton's Orange Peacole. And what a reception we got in England. I was met at the airport by the Bob Hope Fan Club and its keeper. And those English girls, boy, do they knock your eye out. I discovered one night during a blackout. I went to Buckingham Palace, and you know how they roll out a long red carpet for distinguished visitors? Well, for me, they just had a guy walk ahead with a nosebleed. The king and queen saw my act in England. After the first few minutes, the king turned to the queen and said, I see we're beginning to pay back for Len Lee. And from England, we went to Algiers. The last time I saw Algiers, Charles Boyer was in it. But what a... that's just for the picture-going people, I think. What a country that North Africa is. Texas with A-Rabs. What a country, boy. I won't say it's dusty there, but it's the only place I know where you spit cement. And those troops in North Africa are doing a job. And there are all great guys over there outside of one boy that I met while I was doing KP. This lad had been breaking all the rules, shooting dice, going AWL, running around with women. So I walked up to him and I said, son, what's the big idea? And he said, Mr. Hope, did you give a pint of blood to the Red Cross last year? And I said yes. And he said, well, shake hands with the guy that got it. But seriously, folks, many a night over there in England and in Africa and Sicily, I wish that a lot of our friends back home could have been with us. So what do you say we take the trip over again right here? Our trip really started at Camp Perry, Ohio, the night of our last radio show of last season. The pain of the memory of army camps at home And now we're gonna roam across the skies to meet the guys so many miles from home Yes, sir. We were packed and ready to jump from Camp Perry at the LaGuardia Field overseas. We'd been gone from home many weeks then, but we couldn't go back. There wasn't time. But I knew the folks at home would want to hear from me before I left for the front. So I stepped into a phone booth. Cleveland operator, Bob Hope, calling Dolores Hope in Hollywood. Collect. We went on to New York and waited around on four hours notice, expecting any minute to get to go ahead from Washington. And you know, it's tough waiting from day to day like that. You don't get the weekly rate on your hotel room. But down there at the War Department, Adjutant General's office, they were going over our case, getting ready to send us over. Gentlemen, there's no doubt that these entertainers in the war zones will have a beneficial effect upon morale. A reminder of home, 10,000 miles from home. A glimpse of a girl's singer, some laughs by a comedian. Such things make better fighting men. So gentlemen, I shall dictate this order. To the commanding general's air transport command, the following theatrical troop is authorized and invited to proceed on or about June 19, 1943 by air from New York to IJ808I for the purpose of entertaining military personnel. Bob Hope, Francis Langford, Jack Settler, Tony Romano. We were a good distance out over the Atlantic on our way to that IJ808I, and I tell you about the weather, except General Arnold may be listening. When the clippers started turning in a great big arc, we had an English steward and I said, hey, what's happening here? We're going back, sir. Why? What do we want to go back for? No, you'll have to ask the captain, sir. As you Americans say, flying ain't my racket. Bob, you come, Captain Ford. Hey, Captain, are we in trouble? Well, if we have real trouble, Bob, we'll take to our parachute. Yeah, you, but what about me? Well, you'll have the whole plane to yourself. Oh, that's fine. No, no, no. It's just this, Bob. We've got a certain number of miles out, and the crew has a little round of boo, and we check the winds. Mm-hmm. You see, we always plan to get over our final destination and still have five hours of gasoline to spare in case we're closed in. Yeah, that's handy. Well, with this present wind velocity against us, we'll be over it with only two hours of gas to spare. So we're going back to Newfoundland. Brother, you're my man. Let's hurry back. So we tried it again the next day, and it wasn't long before we were in London. And we'll never forget the night the four of us popped in to do one of our first hospital shows somewhere in England. Come on, Francis. Come on, Jack, Tony. Hiya, boys. How are our fellow tourists? Well, what are we going to do? Oh, Bob. That boy over there, he'll burn. Oh, that's Charlie, Miss Lankford. Serious case. Cotton and tank. Flamethrowers. Yeah, Charlie. See, we just did a show around the corner. You couldn't make it, so we came over here to see you. Say, guess who we saw in London, Charlie? Clark Gable, Captain Clark Gable. Same old Clark, same old Glambers, same old ears. Wait, Charlie, you're jumping my gang. You've heard about Clark Gable, haven't you? You know they won't let him ride in the fortresses anymore. His ears hold the plane back. Say, gang, what about a song? How about some music? What do you say, Charlie? Yeah, Bob, a song. Well, name it, brother. Name it. Oh, it would be so nice to come home, too. It's rugged over there, really rugged. I've kidded a lot about the English, but you can't beat him, no, sir. Hitler learned that. I guess one reason I like the English so much is that so many folks in this country are cut from the same cloth. And it's all wool, believe me. They've got a sense of humor like Americans have. After what they've been through, they have to. They like to be kidded, too. When they first feared the invasion, they tore down all the signposts. And you can really get lost. You can take you all night to get back to camp. And they're cautious. They walk up to a country gentleman, an Englishman, and say, which way to camp? And he gives you ten minutes of double talk while giving you the once-over to see if you have a swastika hidden. I used to get up and tell an old joke, and they'd scream, you know, the one where I walk up to a little boy and say, pardon me, Sonny, how do I get back to camp? I don't know. Then tell me, which way is it to London? You don't know. Well, what's your name? I don't know. You don't know much, do you? I'm not lost. One evening before Chow, somewhere in the British Isles, we looked up and saw a huge formation of flying fortresses coming back. They split up, and eighteen of them landed at the base where we had just played that afternoon. We ran over to headquarters where the crews walked in. Well, for the luck of... No, it can't be. Well, it sure is. Well, it ain't King George. Why not with that nose today? Bob Hope! Buy a Bob Hope! Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Cut it out. This isn't Darcy Lamour. I'm just wearing the throng. Wait a minute. Hey, guys. How many fortresses went out today? Eighteen, Bob. Eighteen. And how many came back? Eighteen. Boy, it was a milk run. Oh, that's great. We've been sweating you in all day. You've been sweating us in. Same base. A few nights later, we were going to have a little celebration. A kid named Bill that we all knew was on his 25th bombing mission over the continent. We were all sitting out there in the dark, waiting for the big ships to return, to bring a surprise celebration on Bill. There they come. Believe it or not, I found some ice cream. Will Bill go for that when he gets in? Twelve planes have gone out. They come in one at a time. Five, six, seven. Two more. That's nine. One more all shot up. That's ten. Look at eleven. Talk about that song coming in on a wing and a prayer. There's number eleven left for you. But number twelve and Bill are still out there somewhere. That's the way it goes, okay? We knocked off a couple of hundred shows in Great Britain and hopped over to North Africa. The plane was full of heavy wooden boxes lashed to the wall in the rear. There are metal top benches on either side scooped out for paratroop seats. So I stretched out across, and got some sleep. When I woke up, I felt like I'd been sleeping in a roll washbasin at Grand Central Station. Then we went to Algiers to do a Red Cross show. Private Smith reporting, sir. Oh, yeah? We'll make my way with plain water. Major Hill wants to see you, people. And who is Major Hill? He's Agent General Eisenhower. Well, look, it's about a commission. He'll have to see my agent. Say, kid, did you hear that? We're going to meet Agent Eisenhower. Let's go. Bye, guys. How about a General Eisenhower and autographed picture of you standing with us, huh? Bob, I can ask you folks the same thing. Why would you want a picture of me? I want to sell it to Crosby. But seriously, General Eisenhower, this will be one of the lasting memories of our trip, meeting you. No more than for me, Bob. You folks are performing a splendid service, one that pays dividends from military point of view. Morale is a weapon of war, Bob, as much as any plane or tank or gun. But the spirit of a man can give the weapon its power. And you entertainers who symbolize home to our troops strengthen that spirit. Nearly forgot this one. We were funny knocked out by the time we hit Algiers, and General Eisenhower said at last we'd get those 40 wings, that the Nazis knew better than to tackle Algiers. It was too strong. They hadn't been there for several months. But naturally, with our luck at 428, we got a surprise. Hey, Jack, do you think you little nose we've already captured this place? I was going to get up and tell those Nazis what General Eisenhower told me. But the general was right. We were too strong there for the enemy to break through. That umbrella of flak was something to see. No plane on earth could ride through that stuff. In fact, you wouldn't need a plane up there. That flak was so thick, you could get out and walk on it. It got quiet again, so I rolled over and tried to go to sleep. Everybody sleeps under a mosquito net down in Africa, and you doze off, and then a different kind of raid sets in. I always kept a copy of Esquire handy, just a swat mosquito. Two nights preceding the show, we did a berserdy. It was bomb. The invasion fleet was there, and the Nazis knew it, and we're taking pot shots. The night of our show, I came out on stage with a cane. And here's the reason. On the road to berserdy, we had a little trouble. Now, here's what you do, folks. If you hear a long screaming whine, you're ducked for a ditch, and quick. This is it. Both of them. Quick, Bob. Don't stand there. Here I am down here. Isn't it wonderful? With that nose, Bob can dig his fox hole a lot deeper than ours. Hey, Bob, something wrong? What's the matter? Can't you get up? Oh, it's nothing. Pay no attention to me. Just drive on. I'm only hit, that's all. I'll probably get the purple heart for this. Hey, let me straighten your leg out. Oh! Oh! Oh, I think he's pulled a ligament. Oh. Oh, is that all? Bob, you'll have to get your palm beat suit clean. No, sir. On December 15th, I want Henry Morgenthau to see me like this. He'll give me a handout. You were listening to Bob Hope in Bob Hope Reports on the Cavalcade of America sponsored by Dupont, maker of better things for better living through chemistry. Our play is a re-enactment of the now-famous trip made to England, Africa, Sicily, and Iceland by Bob Hope, Francis Langford, Tony Romano, and Jack Pepper to bring entertainment to our men overseas. As we continue, Bob Hope resumes his first-hand account of the adventure of his three fellow troopers and himself. At a base hospital in North Africa, we finish a show. We'd been going 10 weeks by that time, doing three and four shows a day, and we were leaving for Berserkie again when a doctor walked up. And, Bob, would you folks mind going through just a couple of more wards? For the first time on the trip, we hesitated. We were half dead. Well, you think you can make it? Or do you want to go back? Let's go. Come on, Francis! Come on, Jackson! Playing these wards took an extra 40 minutes and maybe saved our lives, because on the way back to Berserkie, 12 miles out, we could see all hell break loose in the sky over the city. It was all the 4th of Julys you ever saw rolled in the one. You could see the planes up there in the searchlight beams twisting and turning and spitting fire. And you'd see one blow up with a great flash of flame and you'd wonder, was it ours or was it theirs? When it's finally over, you go around and look at the wreckage. Smoke all over the place and rubble and the innards of buildings looking out at you. A dead man lying in a caved-in floor of a room with only two walls. A shoe sticking up from a pile of timber and plumbing and stucco. After the raid, we went up to the hospital. Nurse, come here, please. Yes, doctor. Tell the orderly to remove the body from this bin. Yes, doctor. It's my little brother. Nurse! It's my little brother. He's my little brother. Get her up! Quick! We walked through the door into this. 114 casualties. The colonel with us pulls back the curtain. Seven tables with seven teams of doctors operating on different cases. Nurses running back and forth with bandages. Mister, it isn't good. It isn't good. You can't describe it. Maybe the camera could catch it, but you wouldn't want to see it. You look upon it with your eyes and your eyes take the picture and for the rest of your life, the picture will stay upon your heart. Faces black and swollen from fire. Looking up at you and not seeing you. Maybe seeing nothing. Maybe looking at God. Because who else would know the reason for a thing like that? The side door opens. Here comes a stretcher. A kid with a crushed leg. He's holding onto the hand of a pal. Walking beside the stretcher. Put him down. They put him down. The pal lets go of his hand. Hey! Hey! Hold on! Hold on to my hand. Please hold on. We walk around past the beds. We can talk to some of the men. Light a cigarette here. Talk about Chicago with this one. About this fella's mother, this guy's wife and this kid's brother. Sure, we'll call him up when we get home again. And tell him we saw Johnny and Berserde. Said he was doing fine. Doing fine. We had Sicily in our minds and we wanted to get there. So after a hundred or so shows in North Africa, we got over there. It was three days after the boys took Messina. We drive along the road slowly heading for some camp and the infantry was marching back from the front. We'd lean over the side of the truck and yell, Hey fellas, how you doing? Okay, okay. Wow, what are you doing here? You see, they really love me. We'd stop every few feet and we'd trade gags. One big guy walked up to the truck and said, Hey, boy, what a country. Sicily is wonderful, really wonderful. It really is. I love Sicily. It's just like California, only with more smudge pots. The largest crowd we played to was there in Sicily. It was late on Sunday morning and there were 19,000 boys sitting there in a gully. Half of them stripped to the waist, all of them sitting there with their helmets full of grapes. Eating grapes, but they were too far away to spit the seeds out at me. And they sat there with their rifles. Brother, did you ever do a show looking down the nozzles of 19,000 rifles? I came out on the stage and boy, were they happy to see me. This is Bob Sicily Hope telling you guys that I don't mind those 19,000 guns out of my nose. But if there's anybody who's not going to like the show, I wish he'd leave before it's too late. What's the idea here? How do you like it? They've got no rotten tomatoes here so they're throwing P-38s at me. No kidding. What's the idea of all the rifles up there? What about a colonel? That's fighter protection, Bob. What? That plane's up there. Air cover. Oh, what a deal. I've been given for protection like this in the old days of Otterville. I could have sold my net. But you know, fellas, I just arrived from the States. You know, the States, that's where Churchill lives. Well, he doesn't exactly live there. He just goes back to the living Mrs. Roosevelt's laundry. And Sicily, it's so easy to get a date. I'm only kidding. On our whole trip through Sicily, there was only one guy who found a woman. He stood on a hill in the moonlight for 18 hours and begged like a wolf. Pardon me while I spray my throat. Oh, great guys over there. I was talking to a couple of the boys one night. You know, Bob, I'd just like to get back home for about five days and put my feet under the table. I bet you would. Not me, boy. I want to lick all of these Nazis in their hurry so we can get a shot at those Japs. Then we can go home for good. We went back to Africa and then to England and then to Iceland. And it's still like a dream. We've been flying for a number of hours and we hit rain and then sunshine and then fog. And we'd be in the clouds and nobody was saying much. I guess we were just tired or maybe wondering why it was so quiet. We were on our way home again and we were getting closer to New York and it was confusing. We were mixed up. It was hard to know whether it was last night or a century ago in somebody else's life that we saw 114 men in a hospital after an air raid and 19,000 men eating grapes out of their helmets and laughing louder than men ever laughed at the neighborhood theater in Peoria. Nobody had been saying much when suddenly we heard Francis say... Oh, Jack, Tony, look out there. You can just see it through the smoke and hay seat box. See what? I think it's the Empire State Building. Oh, but Francis, look down there. Look at the old girl in the harbor. The Statue of Liberty. Gee, remember all the fellas who talked about seeing her again? She kind of looks all right, doesn't she? From the way those boys talked overseas, we're looking down there at the real sweetheart of the armed forces. Ask me, what was the highlight of the trip? What stands out? Well, naturally, the biggest thrill of a trip like ours is getting back home again. And there's a thing or two that all of us can still do better than we're doing to give more men that thrill. But there is something that stands out above everything else. I was in a military hospital one time, making with a joke and the doctor walked over and took me by the arm. And, Bob, before Francis and Jack and Tony start singing, would you come into the next ward, critical ward? Sure, Don. I've got a lad in there who's not going to live. Go ahead. You can wake him. Is it okay, Don? Yeah. They touch him on the shoulder. All right, what's his name? Bert. Bert? Oh, Bert. Hey, Bert. Hi, Bert. You're Bob Hope. Hey, I'm Bob Hope. You make a lot of money, don't you? Well, that doesn't make any difference now, son. You make a lot of money. Why didn't you get yourself a haircut? I have a letter from that kid's mother. Dear Mr. Hope, I wonder if you remember a very young boy in a serious condition who made the remark about you taking some of your money and getting a haircut. He was my only son. And he wrote me, Mother, those entertainers we've been seeing over here almost make the boys think they're home again. They're doing a swell job. I only wish that I could finish mine. What about that, huh? What about that? Thank you, Bob Hope. Thanks for the memory. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Hope will return to the microphone a little later. Meantime, here is Gaine Whitman with a message from the DuPont Company of interest to everyone with a car or who depends on an automobile for transportation. What will a post-war automobile be like? Will it have a plastic body? Or will it be built of a lighter metal? Will the engine be in the back or the front? Of course, we haven't answered even one of those questions, for frankly, there's only one thing about the post-war car that's really certain. It's simply this. There won't be any of those dream cars until well after this war is won. This means that the cars on which America depends so much for vital transportation must last until many months after the close of the war. Keeping your car on the road isn't alone a question of gasoline and tires. Right now, with cold weather approaching, you should take steps to protect the motor from damage caused by freezing. One of the first things you will need is antifreeze. To meet this need, DuPont provides three dependable products. One is Xerex, the non-evaporating antifreeze made from ethylene glycol. It's recommended especially for heavy-duty vehicles or wherever conditions demand an antifreeze that won't boil up. DuPont makes two other antifreezes. One is War Emergencies Zero, the other is DuPont Five Star. Both give good antifreeze antirust protection at low cost. Xerex, War Emergencies Zero, and Five Star will be in the hands of wholesalers and retailers in time for cold weather, are going there now as rapidly as possible. Before you add antifreeze, be sure to have your local dealer or serviceman prepare your car for freezing weather. Having cleaned the radiator, check for leaks, examine the water pump, check the hose connections, properly tighten cylinder head bolts, and see that the fan and belt work properly. There are DuPont products available to help make this cooling system overhaul an efficient job. For example, DuPont Cooling System Cleanser and DuPont Cooling System Sealer. To help you prepare your car for the cold weather that's just around the corner, DuPont has printed a booklet which tells how to take care of some of your car. Just send a card or letter to DuPont. Radio section Wilmington 98, Delaware, requesting a free copy. Proper winter care will help keep your car on the job until the day when you can again enjoy the peacetime. DuPont, better things for better living through chemistry. Nobody does unnecessary repairing or improvements these days, and what needs doing is done economically. That is why so many homeowners make the new DuPont wall finish that covers even dingy wallpaper with one coat. For a speed easy saves time. Goes on so easily, dries in an hour. Saves money. The average room costs less than $3. Saves critical war materials too because it thins with water. If you're painting a room this year, save all three ways with DuPont Speed Easy. And now, here with the star of tonight's program, Bob Hope. Well, folks, I want to thank you for coming back over that trip with me, and again I want to take off my hat to Jack Pepper, Tony Romano, and Francis Langford. The Pioneer women had nothing on that Langford gal. She's terrific. And that applies to a good share of the people in this entertainment industry. They're aware of their responsibilities in this war, and they're doing a swell job at home and all over the world. From the Arctic to the equator, our fighting men have seen a big parade of names and faces familiar to you. And through the radio pictures and USO tours, there are people who can play a week at the Paramount Theater in New York and jump to the salamans for six weeks in the GI Jungle Circuit. And what's more, they're doing it. Thank you. Next week's Cavalcade tells the story of what might be called the First USO. The Sanitary Commission organized for relief work among the army in the war between the states. Our play, the general war calico, stars Jane Darwell, Academy Award winner and beloved character actress Determined Quaker woman from Galesburg, Illinois, who rode roughshod over generals and army tradition to feed and nurse and comfort the boys of 61. Be sure to hear Jane Darwell in the general war calico, a cavalcade play that will make you laugh and cry and cheer. It is the story of the great heart of America as it comforts its sons in battle. Next Monday evening, Jane Darwell in the general war calico on the cavalcade of America. Tonight's music was composed and conducted by Robert Ambruster. Cavalcade is pleased to remind its listeners that Bob Hope may now be seen in the Paramount picture. Let's face it. This is James Bannon sending best wishes from Cavalcade sponsor the DuPont Company of Wilmington, Delaware. We came to you from Hollywood. This is the National Broadcasting Company.