 When you stay The narcissist does this you may have been thinking of leaving the narcissist And it's like as soon as you made this decision Their behavior started to change When they feel like you are slipping away, they will always fall back of their manipulation It's worked for them in the past So they assume that it's going to work for them now They will present the illusion of value And it's always exaggerated It's always made to seem like it's more than what it actually is When the reality is That you could get the same and so much more from millions of other people in this world Yet they expect you to believe that they are special or unique They expect you to believe that you're not going to find anything better than them Because that is how they keep you under their control That is how they keep you dependent on them by making you believe that they are unique By making you believe that they are better than other people When the reality is that there is hundreds of millions of narcissists in this world Who are exactly like them They all behave the exact same way And yet they think they're different They think they're superior in some way But this is only to compensate for how they really feel about themselves Deep down they feel worthless and insignificant Their arrogance and entitlement is a coping and defense mechanism It is an adaptation to a hostile environment in childhood But deep down they know they don't deserve you They know that the only way they can get you to stay is by manipulating you It's not because they possess any real qualities or abilities But when you think of leaving the narcissist They will immediately sense it They will be on to you And they will quickly change their behavior in an attempt to secure you Because the last thing they want is for you to leave They don't change their behavior because they care about you They're not trying to build anything with you This is just a manipulation People who don't have any real qualities and abilities Have to do this to get what they want They have to lie to you They have to create illusions They have to use future faking Because they already know that they don't have anything of value to offer you They don't have anything to share with you That you couldn't get from anywhere else So they have to manipulate you It's either that or they coerce you into staying with them They intimidate you by using force or threats They put you in a state of fear or shame where you feel like you can't get out Either way it's designed to control you It's designed to keep you under their influence and authority And it's not going to be any good for you It's not going to build you up in any way All they can do is take from you All they can do is trick you into investing your qualities and abilities Into something that has no value Which means that you're never going to see a return on your investment You will only find that your health begins to deteriorate Your finances begin to diminish Nothing good comes out of staying with a narcissist It will only destroy you in the end When you entertain the narcissist manipulation You are entering their fantasy world You are entering a world where they have the influence and authority You are under their control You are under their spell It's a mirage It's an unrealistic hope or wish that cannot be achieved Because it's only a fantasy It's an idea with no basis in reality But the reason why they hold on to the fantasy so strongly Is because it's all they have They abandoned who they really are a long time ago And created their false self This character who is meant to be perfect This character who is meant to be everything that you should want But it isn't real It's based on superficial things Which only appear to be true or real until examined more closely And that's how you leave their fantasy world By examining things more closely And realizing that they're not even who they're portraying themselves to be They get these ideas or suggestions from people Who they believe to be powerful and significant Desirable and attractive And they see that those people are getting attention Those people are getting what they want And they want a piece of the action They want some of the advantages That come from an activity That come from taking on these ideas and suggestions But that doesn't change who they really are Narcissists have no foundational structure They try to cover their stench with perfume But it's really nothing more than a cover-up They're just putting something on top or in front of something In order to protect or conceal it They're trying to draw a veil over themselves They're trying to prevent you from discovering the truth about what they really are And they do that by using the manipulation Because they want you to be a part of their fantasy world Which is why they keep trying to lure you in with the manipulation But you don't belong there Which is why you cannot assimilate Which is why you cannot absorb or integrate into their ideas or culture Because you are real And a real person cannot exist in a fantasy world for long periods of time You're going to feel like it's not right It's going to cause conflict and disruption It's going to cause disturbance and problems Which interrupt the event activity or process Because you are not designed to exist in their fantasy world You are meant to be free from control Free from manipulation But even when you realize this It will not stop the narcissist from trying to pull you back in Because despite what they have led you to believe They are very attracted to you They have an interest in you You are very important to them And that is why they cannot leave you alone But they cannot come out of their world Because then they would cease to exist They can only exist in their world And that is why they have to always pull you into it They always have to make you a part of them But they cannot reach you They cannot connect you from a world that doesn't even exist When you stay It is very beneficial for the narcissist It is very convenient for them It allows them to get what they want out of you But it is very damaging for you Because you are giving them all of your care and attention But they have nothing to share with you They can only give you the illusion of value And you will feel like you are paying for something that you could have gotten for free You will feel like you are being ripped off You will feel like you are being tricked It is like you are paying a premium for something Which isn't even of a satisfactory standard Because they cover their stench with perfume They conceal their true motives They conceal their qualities and abilities They make you believe they are so much more than what they actually are And they don't even appreciate you They can't even recognize your value Because you need to have something of value Before you can recognize another person's value So in their minds They think they can do better than you They think you are not enough And they have to keep you looking at yourself So that you don't focus on them And realize that they are not bringing anything to the table Whatever crumbs a narcissist brings to you You could get the same thing from anyone else Without all of the BS Without having to deal with their attitude Without having to deal with their lack of sophistication Narcissists can be offensively impolite and bad-mannered They complain about everything They are very impatient They are always scanning the environment for problems They are always looking for something to criticize Because they are very insecure They are not happy with themselves So they cannot be happy with you And you will never be able to be happy with someone Who cannot be happy with themselves They have low self-esteem So they always have to be in control They have to maintain an influence and authority over you Because you are their source of supply They are emotionally dependent on you Their entire life revolves around you They are very jealous of controlling They always feel like something is being taken away from them Which is why they have to hold on to you for dear life Because they are afraid that you will no longer want to be with them So they have to force you into being with them They have to manipulate you But then you are just going back into the fantasy world You are just entertaining the illusion again You are not building anything deep or meaningful You are just being fooled by the illusion of value They cannot communicate with you directly They cannot interact with you outside of the fantasy world Anytime you have a conversation with a narcissist You are being fooled with lies and manipulation You cannot have a genuine conversation with a narcissist The best you will ever get from them is an illusion You cannot be vulnerable You cannot be yourself By doing that around a narcissist You are only putting yourself at risk of danger or harm Because as long as you are trying to establish anything of meaning or value with a narcissist You are only going to lose out in the end It is like you both made a decision to build a home together And you supplied them with all of the bricks But rather than using the bricks to build this home They took them all for themselves They used them for their own self-centered purpose They used them for their own benefit or advantage So you have just invested into building a life for someone else You have helped them to be safe and secure But now you are left without a roof over your head You are left out in the cold Because anytime that a narcissist gets hold of anything that you give to them Anything that you use to try to build something with them They are only going to take it And use it for themselves And that is exactly what happens when you stay with a narcissist You are just feeding the beast You are enabling them to continue mistreating you You are enabling them to continue disrespecting you You are giving power to something That is only going to destroy you in the end Which is why it is so important to take back your power Realize that you are investing in something That is not going to benefit you It is not going to improve your life in any way The only person who is going to gain anything out of this situation Is the narcissist And that is why they are so attached to you That is why they are so dependent on you And while you may have been fooled by the illusion of value in the beginning You are starting to wake up now You are beginning to realize That there is no value other than what you give to them And you are never going to see a return on anything you give to them Because they are poor investment Their value is only going to depreciate When you stay with the narcissist And you invest all of your time, energy and money into them It is not helping you in any way You are not building anything significant or meaningful It is like paying for a car that you can't even drive Thank you for watching I hope this video has hit it with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe If you would like to donate My PayPal link is in the video description Coaching inquiries You can email me at coaching.narcsurviver.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon