 Family Theatre presents Alan Young and Jim Bacchus. From Hollywood, the Mutual Network in Cooperation with Family Theatre presents Me For You, starring Alan Young. And now, here is your host, Jim Bacchus. Family Theatre's only purpose is to bring to everyone's attention a practice that must become an important part of our lives. If we are to win peace for ourselves, peace for our families, and peace for the world. Family Theatre urges you to pray. Pray together as a family. Now to our transcribed drama, Me For You, starring Alan Young as Phil. It's just a case of asking. I know what it's a case of. And he's not an ogre or something. You said he likes you. Look, honey, what do I do? Go in and tell him he likes me? I'm only trying to put you in the right frame of mind. I'm in the right frame of mind. What kind of help is talk like that? Mr. Green, I know it's going to be okay to ask you this because my girlfriend says you're not an ogre. I didn't mean you should say it. Sure, sure. He knows we're getting married, Phil. A lot of people are getting married. What's that to him? I told you we had a slow summer. Well, you said last week it's starting to pick up. A little. Well, all you're asking for is a little. Ten dollars more a week. That's not the national debt. Then why is it such a big thing? Because to us it is. Oh, good grief. Well, it's the rugs and the furniture. The rugs and the furniture. Forty-two, thirty-five a month with interest. Honey, how many times do I have to say it? We're not moving into the White House. But we'll never get such a price again. It's a three-room apartment. The stuff will be hanging out the windows. Well, not if we store the big pieces. Why buy something to pay storage on it? It'll be cheaper. You said if the VA approved the loan by next March, we'd have the house. Let me try it again. That's only six months. The application is still being investigated. I'm being investigated. My debts. If all of a sudden they come across an item and it looks like I'm trying to buy out Butler Brothers, they'll say he's a maniac and no loan. Exactly. You agree with me? Well, of course. That's why you should ask Mr. Green for your raise as soon as possible. No, no, wait, wait, wait. Well, so that the VA will also discover you've had a corresponding increase in income. Then everything is all even again. Will you wait? Would you have a cup of coffee, Phil? No, no thanks, Mrs. Harper. I can't sleep. Carol? Maybe later, Mom. It'll be cold. I like it cold. Can I, Mom? Are you sure, Phil? It isn't instant. Really, Mrs. Harper? Right. Say hello to Mr. Green for me. Sure. Honey, listen. Yeah, I did. Mr. Green. Now look. Every conversation we have when I get up in the morning, it's in the papers. Well, she's my mother. I've got a right to discuss things with her. Oh, I'm telling you. Well, she's all I have. She advises me. Yeah. And then the whole neighborhood. Carol, I've got some pride. Well, then show a little of it to Mr. Green. That's what I'm talking about. Suppose he says no. He won't. I have your mother's word for this. Phil? Yeah. I'm getting a little mad myself. I love my mother. I love your mother, too. But she can be wrong once in a while. That's possible. Whenever you get that crooning tone in your voice. Can we skip the tone? It's always the tired man of the world addressing the poor ignorant woman. I'm simply saying she can be wrong about my boss, whom she knows only by nodding at the supermarket. Oh, that's another thing. How can you have a slow summer at the supermarket? Carol, let's stay on the subject. But people have to eat. Maybe they don't know that. Maybe we should put up signs. You're very sarcastic tonight. Honey, you've got all the answers except the big one. If I ask Green and he doesn't give me the raise, I have to quit. Phil? I have to quit. That's all there is to it. Either I'm worth what I think, or I'm not worth anything. I'm listening to a great voice. You on the phone? Beethoven. Do me a favor. Shut off the phonograph. I'd like to talk to you. You're a great voice. Answering the riddle of the universe. Do you know the answer? I'm still working on the question. Get happy. Pop, will you turn off the great voice? All right. What's the matter? You want a glass of hot milk or something? Why would I want a glass of hot milk? I just wondered. If I wanted hot milk, I'd be having some. Yeah. Well, Pop, when you were married, were you happy? Listen, a few more questions like this, and I'll go back to Beethoven. I want to figure something out. You, well, had a fight with Carol tonight? Well, no, not exactly. I've lived long enough to know what that means. The fights a man doesn't exactly have with a woman are the ones he loses. I didn't lose anything. We simply had a disagreement. Just tell me the main structure. I say we shouldn't get head over heels into debt. That's unimportant. What does she say? She thinks I should ask Green for a raise. Well, one thing is sure, you're marrying a woman. I note you didn't say she thinks you should get in head over heels. No. Just earn more money. Well, it comes down to the same thing. It does not. This is why Greek culture collapsed. Pop. I'm still on the subject. Was it Pythagoras, things equal to the same thing are equal to each other? Maybe it was Euclid. Anyhow, the ladies made a liar out of him. What are we on now? They can have it both ways. Defend opposite sides of a question and still be entirely right. Pop, rest yourself assured. The ladies turn the world. They're the only ones who protect men from destroying one another. I think I'm losing you. I'll put it another way. Somewhere tonight, Green's wife is telling him he overpays his employees. You think so? Depend on it. But consider the vibrations. Mrs. Green, being a woman, knows that everywhere on Earth other wives are saying, hit Green for a raise. You've got it coming. You know that's a thought. So, she protects him from letting his charitable impulses ruin the business. Yeah. Well, listen, what should I do? What? Should I ask for the raise? Why ask me? Are we engaged? Hey, Phil. Yeah? Ah, Green is screaming. Has that delivery with the mayonnaise come yet? I called the warehouse twice. The man's on his way. Boy, I'm not going to take much more. What's the matter? Ah, he's like working for a lunatic. Everything that comes up, we should have done it yesterday. Is he pretty hot this morning? When wasn't he hot, so I asked him right out. And I suppose, Mr. Green, that everything we did yesterday, we should have done the day before? And he says, yes. Now, you know how he is on Saturday. Well, now he knows how I am on Saturdays. Jerome, getting him sore isn't going to help. I'm not trying to help. I'm sick and tired of this. Who does he think we are? He's running a big business. And he's doing great. Well, I've made up my mind. Not at these prices. Not me at 70 a week when Mr. Green can send his whole family to the mountains three months every summer. Well, what are you going to do? Ask for a raise. That's what I'm going to do. Oh, now look. I'm not afraid of him. Yeah, I know. But this could be a bad time. You ever seen a good time around here? That'd be sensible. If he's sore, this isn't the day to ask for a raise. I've made up my mind. I got a wife who needs her teeth out and little Mark's making noise with his tonsils. Today's the day. Jerome, give yourself a break. That's what I'm doing. He'll say no. You haven't got a chance. Let him. Just let him. You'll be dead. Okay. And the whole case of that mayonnaise he's so hungry for falls off the truck. Jerome. In a thousand pieces. No, you wouldn't do that. A terrible accident. He'll fire you. Are you kidding? He will. Would Simon agree, Fire Uncle Tom? Listen. Who can he get to take my place? You hire a horse. It's $3 an hour. Look, look. I'm begging you. Don't ask him for the raise today. What's it to you? Well, you know Carol and I are getting married in three weeks. And I figured to ask him for one myself. Well, you should. You got it coming. Yeah, but I want to get it. Simple thing in the world. I'll go in first and soften him up. Jerome, please, as a friend. He's nothing but a big bag of wind. All right. But if he says no... Then when the truck comes in with a mayonnaise... No, no, Jerome. What satisfaction is there in that? Let me tell you, tremendous... You know you wouldn't do it. Try me. You wouldn't and I wouldn't. The point here is to get the raise. Not prove we're downtrodden. That needs proof. Look, if I want furniture, your wife needs teeth. We can't pay for it with broken mayonnaise. We have to go about this diplomatically. Not with green. We don't. All he understands is a knife to the heart. Okay. So you tell me how that retires the mortgage. Jerome, fail! Listen to him like a wild bear. Take it easy. Here he comes. Well, you boys, get out on the dock. The mayonnaise is here. Yes, sir. Right away. What are you standing around for, anyway? Stack in the ketchup like you told us. Well, you should have done that this morning. Come on, Jerome. Let's get the mayonnaise. Mr. Green, there's something I want to ask you. Later. When you get back from the dock, start stamping the bee. You told us first we should mark the milk. Come on, Jerome. That was an hour ago. We'll take care of it, Mr. Green. I just want to ask how come my family doesn't go to the mountains? Because you can't afford it. Get the mayonnaise. That's right. I can't. Jerome, come on. The stuff sits in the sun. It gets warm. I want a raise, Mr. Green. I run my legs off around here. We'll talk about it later. Three ladies are waiting for mayonnaise. We'll talk about it now. My wife needs new teeth. And you're going to need some of yourself if you don't get out on that dock. Jerome, for Pete's sake. Let me go, my arm. I want an answer, Mr. Green. Right now. Oh, right now? You want an answer, huh? Well, the answer is no. No, huh? That's right, no. Now you got one minute to bring in that mayonnaise or you can pick up your time. So tell me, what did you do? What else? We brought in the mayonnaise. Jerome didn't let another peep out the whole day. And he still got his job? Sure. Well, there you are. Why? Mr. Green never had any intention of firing him. He... He was just letting off steam. You can get scalded by steam. Ask Jerome. That doesn't have anything to do with you, Phil. Are you crazy? It wrecks it for me. Because Mr. Green is mad at Jerome? Because he didn't give him the raise. Well, that doesn't mean he won't give it to you. Honey, the atmosphere down there is electric. It's like before a thunderstorm. Everybody's walking around on tiptoes. Don't you understand? That's just what he wants. Mr. Green? To keep everybody on edge, afraid to open their mouth. The man's got an ulcer the size of a poker chip. You see if I'm not right. He hates tension. Well, then why is he screaming all the time? He gets nervous. As nervous as the people who work for him? Carol, it's his place if he wants to scream. The point is Jerome picked a bad day to shoot off his mouth. You want to come up on the porch a few minutes? Okay. I still say it's to his advantage that you're afraid of him. Will you turn that record over? I'm not afraid of him. Well, you might as well be. I see no satisfaction in asking for something. I'm not going to get just to prove nobody's pushing me around. How can you be sure you're not going to get it until you ask? Because I saw what happened to Jerome today. But you are not Jerome. Exactly. So we do things different. Some coffee and cake. No, no thanks, Ms. Harper. I'm full from dinner. Carol? It's Swedish seven layer. Maybe tomorrow, Mom. Well, tomorrow it'll be stale. I like it stale. Good night, Mom. Phil, I spoke to Mr. Green today. He says you're a fine boy. Thanks, Ms. Harper. I like him too. Well, don't you worry. Everything will be fine. Yeah. Phil, wait a minute. What's she doing now? Stopping him on the street? She's just trying to help. If she wants to help, she can come down to the store and stamp beans. Now, Phil... I don't need this kind of help. I can carry my own messages. Well, then carry them. Carol, this is my last word on the topic of Mr. Green and the raise. It's the wrong time to ask. Now that's the end. Oh, the furniture. We'll wait. It'll have to wait. Phil, you don't... They're not going to stop making furniture. The furniture business will go on. Well, what I'm trying to tell you is we've already bought it. We can't have bought it. We signed up for it today. The papers are going through. I didn't sign anything. Mother signed his co-maker on the note she put up her insurance policy. Mother... Well, now, Phil... Did you ask her? Is that what happened? Well, I didn't ask her a thing. It was her idea. I believe it. Everything that's happened to me in the last two months is her idea. Now, calm down. You know, maybe I'm engaged to the wrong girl around here. Maybe I should be engaged to your mother. Well, she wants this to get off to a good start. Ah, so she hangs a rock like this around my neck. Well, she thought you were going to ask for the raise today. You mean you told her I was going to ask for the raise today? Well, I've got a right. She's my mother. All right, okay. But not an obligation. Does she have to know every word that passes between us? Oh, Phil, you're exciting yourself for nothing. The thing is done. Oh, I'll say it's done. It's done up good. Have you thought what will happen if I can't make the payments? Oh, you can make them. Sure, sure. I can make them. God will provide. The money will fall off a tree or something. When Mr. Green gives you the raise. Mr. Green, Mr. Green. Mr. Green can be hit by a truck in the next 20 minutes. We can't bank every move we make on Mr. Green. Well, now, honey, control yourself. If we can't make the payments, they'll cash your mother's insurance and she'll wind up in the poor house. Well, she could come and live with us. She could not. Well, Phil. I guarantee it. Nobody lives with us but you and me. Well, then there's only one thing to do. Shoot myself. Well, ask for the raise. Ask for the raise. Is there any other way? Ask yourself. Is there? Pop. Pop. In here. She did it. She did it, Pop. Beethoven loses again. Wait till I tell you. Wait till I turn him off. She mortgaged her mother. She bought it all. What are we talking about? Three rooms of furniture. Well, you gotta sit on something. Behind my back, a whole house full of stuff. I'm still trying to get the news. Carol bought some furniture. All day I've been adjusting to the idea. The ladies turn the world. This is poison. Let's look from the beginning. What's wrong with having furniture? She bought it without a word to me. Things haven't changed. What? In the 30s, I think, like 1934, your mother went out and bought me this leather rocker. $60. It was a crime. What did you do? I put it here by the phonograph. And it hasn't moved since. Oh, but... Listen to me, Phil. Get used to something. What women do is a fact. After a while, enough facts become history. And who argues with history? If it weren't for your mother, I wouldn't be sitting in this leather chair. I'll tell you a secret. I'd be lost without it. Okay. But Carol is buying us into the booby hatch. Be glad. They're the only ones who'll buy anything. You think houses all over the world are filled with furniture because men made it? Wake up. It's because women bought it. Basically, it has something to do with economics. They buy everything. And when you get right down to it, why not? Huh? It's for sale. So, that's it. Oh, brother. I've got no choice to room. I have to ask for the raise. I can see where you do. And if he turns me down, I lose a job and gain a mother-in-law. Why do you have to quit? It's one of my principles. When you've been married a little while, you'll start losing those. If I ever do get married. Now what? Carol disagrees very strongly that I should quit. Her mother again? Not this time. The way things are now, the old lady wants to get married no matter what. How do you figure? If there isn't any wedding, she winds up with all the furniture and no insurance. Say that affects her. Yeah. Except I want there to be a wedding. I suppose so. Well, I'm sorry. I gummed it up for you Friday. What'd your wife say when you told her you didn't get the raise? What does she know? You didn't tell her? Tell her nothing. I leave the house at 7 o'clock. Come home at 6.30 and dinner. Better be on the table. Everybody's smiling. What about her teeth? Anybody that talks that much can expect their jaw to hurt. And Mark's tonsils? They help them grow. He's starting to sound like a baritone. I wish I could talk my troubles away like that. Trouble? A good night's sleep. Everything looks different in the morning. Yeah? Take the word of an expert. Maybe I should send you in to ask Mr. Greenberg. Well, he said he'd see you? In his office. Right after lunch. Well, sit down. I'm on the phone. Yes, sir. Yes. Yes. Yes, y'all, let's go ahead. Yeah? Well? Yeah? She did. Oh, that's the saddest story I ever heard. You've broken my heart. Now, what about the tomatoes? She does. She did. Well, does your wife drive the truck? What's how sick she has got to do with the tomatoes? Listen, I'll tell you what. If the tomatoes aren't here by 4 o'clock, I'll bother you. Now, Phil, what can I do for you? Mr. Green, I think I told you how I'm getting married a week from Saturday. You know that's a crook I was talking to. I beg your pardon. On the phone. You got to watch out for guys like that. I should know. Yes, sir. Now, what were you saying? Well, just that I think I mentioned recently, how I was engaged to Carol Harper, a young lady who- They weep all over you. Young ladies? No. Guys like Schultz. Always a sad story. Always the blues. His wife is sick, so he can't get the tomatoes over here this afternoon. That's his version. I see. Go ahead, Phil. Excuse me. You probably got troubles of your own. Well, yes, sir. I have to tell the truth. God forbid they aren't like mine. Well, I guess they aren't, Mr. Green, but this girl I'm going to marry. Just pray you get a wife as healthy as his, that's all. As whose? Schultz. She isn't sick. I've seen her. She's strong as a horse. You know what he's doing? Schultz. Oh, I'm sorry, Phil. I keep getting off the subject. This is no problem of yours. You go ahead. Well, she and her mother, my fiancee Carol, it is, went out shopping around for some furniture. Exactly. What? Shopping around. And if he can unload those tomatoes at a better price than what I offered, I won't get them. But you know what'll happen? It happens every time. It never fails. Mr. Green, I know the matter of the tomatoes is a pressing item, but I can't let you keep changing the subject. It might give you the wrong idea. Wrong idea about what? About me. You see, I'm not afraid of you. What? Well, well, that's good. You think so? Well, sure. I don't want people afraid of me. Well, well, I'm not. I want to get that straight. All right. Well, tell me something. Yes, sir. I pay your salary, don't I? That's right. Well, then how come you're not afraid of me? Well, because I don't need this job. Oh, don't talk crazy. Everybody needs some kind of job. I don't want to give the wrong impression. One minute. This is Green. Well, the time has changed, my bucko. Now they got to be here by 2.30 or it's no deal. Now, 2.30 you bandit and get them tomatoes out of the sun. What did I tell you? Mr. Green. Happens every time. Schultz runs over here at the last minute. Mr. Green, you've got to listen to me. What do you want to do? Quit or something? All I want to do is speak my peace. Well, speak. You've been sitting here for five minutes. I'm going to be married a week from Saturday. Well, I can't help you out of that. I want to get married. The kind of help I need is financial and I've got to have it. Well, Phil, you know the policy around here. We don't make loans. I got more loans than I know what to do with. I don't want a loan. Who, uh, who's the girl again? Carol Harper. Mrs. Harper's daughter. All the calves, liver. Oh, oh, yes, a fine woman. That's one opinion. What's your problem? Well, everywhere I turn, they're buying things. Rugs, pictures, you'd think we were going to live in a museum. Well, son, that's marriage. It's murder. Now she's got her life insurance policy down for a bedroom set and twin chairs. Your fiancee? Her mother. Oh, the calves, liver. The same. Well, so what do you want? A raise. A what? A raise. $10 more a week. Ah. You know something, Phil? What? I thought you never were going to ask for it. Hey, Phil. Yeah? You make a fine groom. Are you choking in that neck piece? Just about. Where's Carol? Throwing away a bouquet. Let me tell you, that's nerve. What? Us throwing away anything. Hey, did I tell you what Green did? He gave the bride away. Oh, no. I mean for me. I got my raise, too. Ah, Jerome, that's great. Retroactive to next week. The first thing I went in hot for. Your wife's teeth? Last Thursday night, a whole new bridge. She picked him up this morning. And this is a great dentist. Yeah? He fixed it, so it hurts her to talk. Oh, there goes the bouquet. Ah, you got a beautiful bride, Phil. I think you can stamp the beans without me for two weeks. Oh, I'll leave you something. I'll stamp every other can. Phil. Phil. Oh, yes, honey. Come here. Oh, Phil. It's the most beautiful wedding that ever happened. You sure you kissed everybody? Almost. Well, get them all. This is the last time. Okay. Uh, how about you, Jerome? Uh, wait a minute. Where's my wife? Oh, go ahead. If she can't talk, she can't bite. Well, just a quick one. All the luck in the world, honey. I've already had it, Jerome. Phil! Look at here. Phil! Have some wedding cake and cough. Mrs. Harper, I'm too excited. Mom! Oh, really? Mom, not right now. Give me a kiss. Oh, you're a fine boy, Phil. Yeah? Even Mr. Green says so. Well, he should. I told him. Carol, have some cake. Okay, Mom. You'll take a slice? Oh, it's my wedding. Well, yes, but you won't like it. It's fresh. It'll get stale. But this is today's cake. Mom, I'm going to put it under my pillow. This is Jim Backus again. Recently, a roving newspaper editor returned from a tour of the South Pacific Islands and reported that the wild tropical growth had reclaimed the island beach heads, which American troops had established en route to Japan. This article put me to thinking how quickly any place can become run down at the mouth if it becomes the victim of neglect and indifference. It does take a pretty constant interest and some real ambition and some hard work too to keep alive and, in good order, the places and things of concern. And this is true even in our more important relations, say, for example, with God. For how many of us ever think of calling upon God's help, save in moments of distress, then we literally storm heaven with our prayers, hoping to establish a favorable beach head with the divinity. But we forget that it takes time to cut through the thick growth of weeds and vines of our neglect and our indifference, which strangle the soul unmindful of God. Often such petitions come too late and too late to affect the divine prayer. One sure way of keeping, of establishing a beach head with God, of keeping open the lifelines to eternity is the practice of daily prayer. Such prayer tramples under and keeps at a distance the pernicious and rampant distractions and vices that infest the soul indifferent to God. It establishes vital contact with the Godhead so that our needs are not only known but anticipated by him and family prayer is particularly pleasing to God. For through this prayer, we may be sure that God will be in the midst of the family group, as he has promised to be whenever two or more persons are gathered in his name. In addition, family prayer provides for our human need to worship God as social beings, as well as human individuals. Two, it makes for regularity and habits of prayer that discipline and are reflected in the other phases of our lives. And that is why family theater urges all to pray together, for it knows that the family who prays together stays together. More things are awed by prayer than this world dreams of. From Hollywood, Family Theater has brought you transcribed Me For You starring Alan Young. Jim Bacchus was your host. Others now cast were Charlotte Lawrence, Irene Tedro, Vic Perron, Herb Butterfield and Paul Freese. The script was written and directed for Family Theater by John T. Kelly, with music composed and conducted by Harry Zimmerman. This series of Family Theater broadcasts is made possible by the thousands of you who feel the need for this type of program, by the mutual network which has responded to this need, and by the hundreds of stars of state, screen and radio who give so unselfishly of their time and talent to appear on our Family Theater stage. To them and to you, our humble thanks. This is Tony LaFranco expressing the wish of Family Theater that the blessing of God may be upon you and your home and inviting you to join us next week when Family Theater will present the first morning starring Scott Brady. Raymond Burr will be your host. Join us, won't you? Family Theater has broadcast throughout the world and originates in the Hollywood studios of the world's largest network. This is Mutual, the radio network for all America.