 Why do men stop expressing their feelings towards you? Well, that's a topic we're gonna explore today and I've got some interesting thoughts I'd like to share with you. So what is it about men who seem in the early stages of the dating process to be a bit expressive, to be emotive, to be effusive, to be demonstrative? By the way, those are a lot of big 10 cent words that you might wanna Google those to check them out. But what is it about those early stages where a man will start his expressing his feelings towards you. And then shortly after there's been physical intimacy, those expression of feelings begin to diminish. And I have a thought of one reason why this might happen. And I want to see if anyone else has experienced this in their life. First off, have you experienced a man who did kinda come on strong, expressing his feelings towards you, expressing his interest towards you, expressing his satisfaction towards you, expressing his desire to be with you. And then that started to shift over time, okay? So I think the challenge is the early stages of dating a relationship is typically based on lust or limerence, lust or limerence. And lust is that physical desire to be sexually intimate with someone or physically intimate with someone. And limerence is, if you Google it, it's extreme infatuation. I think this happens when chemicals get released from our brain into our body, chemicals like oxytocin and dopamine and testosterone and estrogen and serotonin. All these chemicals get released in our body and makes us believe that we are feeling some sort of connection with this other person. And so in that experience, we oftentimes emote from a chemical-based way. In fact, just as I was saying this out loud right now, I was thinking to myself, have any of you ever done MDMA? If you've ever done MDMA, it is such a heart-opening drug because it affects your serotonin levels. And when your serotonin levels have been increased, it actually suppresses that egoic part of you. And what comes out is more that heart-centered part of you when you're operating from that serotonin level surging through your body, okay? So this period can last for a very long time. For some people, it can be a very short period for others, particularly men who are, we'll just say unconscious in that they have deep wounds and traumas. And they're operating from a place of fear, a place of shame, a place of guilt, a place of anger, a place of ego. If they're operating from this place, oftentimes those men, this experience of heart-opening doesn't last very long. It only lasts long enough for them to be physically intimate with you because this next thing hasn't happened in the early stages and this next thing being the building of a friendship, the building of a friendship. Now here's where it gets really tricky. See, a lot of times women confuse men who share their problems with you, men that share their frustrations with you, men that share their disappointments in life as being a good friend because many of you ladies are good listeners. You'll listen to a man who complains. He's talking about his problems. Then what happens is because you're such a good listener, he's drawing upon your feminine energy. And what I mean to say is that heart-centered, kind place within you. And what happens is you are becoming over a period of time his therapist, his therapist. In other words, the person he can go to to talk about his problems. He can talk about his problems with his ex-spouse. He can talk about his problems with his children. He can talk about his problems with his professional life. He can even talk about his problems with his physical health. And as soon as you've been hooked by those original chemicals that I talked about, you find yourself believing that this man is developing a friendship with you when in fact it's actually you are becoming his therapist. In fact, I've come to believe that these little devices that we have that have sites like Bumble and Hinge and Tinder, just to name a few, the league, all these apps have actually turned into, by the way, these apps seem to have two primary functions these days. They serve as a place to hook up with people. Okay, a place because we're just seeing a significant amount of hookups happening. I mean, we see more hookups and casual relationships from dating apps than we actually see significant relationship. But the other fascinating thing that's happening is that these apps have replaced or not replaced, but they've become a substitute for those that should be going to betterhelp.com. It's a substitute for going to seek medical treatment. It's a substitute for going to a therapist. And what I mean by substitute is you ladies have become, and by the way, ladies do this with men as well. You ladies do this with men as well. You're finding yourself in a almost a trauma bonding situation. And what I mean to say is that if you have traumas in your life and he has traumas in your life, the two of you are bonding through your mutual traumas or if your traumas aren't prevalent as much, maybe he's a complainer. I've witnessed this with a lot of women that they find themselves in relationships with men who are just genuine complainers, genuine downers, just they're just got kind of a victim consciousness, but because they're expressing these as feelings, see they're not expressing their feelings to you anymore, they're expressing their feelings about life and their problems. And the reason why they stopped expressing their feelings towards you is because now that you're a therapist, there's this veil in front of you that basically puts you in a, what kind of category? A therapist category. Let me just say it that way. You've just become a therapist. You've stopped becoming his lover. See really healthy relationships is where you're both lovers and friends at the same time and how is friendship built? Friendship is built through social activities. It's built through hobbies. It's built through mutual interest. It's built through spending time with family and friends. It's built on teamwork building skills. It's built on, did I say traveling together? That's how a deep friendship is built with another human being. And so since many of you are spending more of your time in relationship on your smartphones, how's your day going? Did you have a good day? I hope you had a good day. Let me talk to you about my day. Or they get on the phone, they're just saying, oh my God, my ex is such a pain. You wouldn't believe what she's doing now. Oh my God, my boss at work. You won't believe what's happening now. Oh my gosh, you know what? I'm starting to think I have like a heart murmur, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you're like, oh honey, I'll be there for you. I'll just support you in all your chaos because I'm a nurturer and I'll be there for you. See, you're supporting or enabling his woundedness when it's a relationship that isn't built on mutual trust. It's a relationship that isn't built on mutual trust. Trust isn't just about fidelity. Trust is, does this person have my best interest at heart? Effectively, when you become the therapist, that person becomes very self-centric. It's all about their world. It really has very little to do with your world. They might check in with you because they've just spent all this time, you know, vomiting these problems with you. And they're like, oh, how's your day too? Have any of you experienced this if you have? Please hit that like button right now. Please post a comment and say, yes, Jonathan, I've experienced a man who has used me as a therapist. And if this has happened, please tell me, Jonathan, no more, Jonathan, no more, Jonathan, no more. Because when a guy stops expressing his feelings, it's quite possible you are no longer his lover and friend, you have become his therapist. And if that's ever happened to you, I want you to spot these very quickly, okay? How do you spot this person? They live in victim consciousness. This doesn't happen usually in the first 30 days or 60 days of courtship, but it begins to kind of surface at around the 90-day mark, the person starts to just become a complainer, a person that only talks about their problems. In fact, this person just really lacks gratitude. That's what saddens me today. There's so many humans that just lack a sense of gratitude in their life. People who start from a place of gratitude that really is grateful for all the blessings and the abundance they have in their life, they're not victims. They have victor consciousness. And that's what I want you to look for going forward. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know if it is. Please post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts. If you found value in this video, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell so you can be notified of new videos as well. All right, for those who know my format, it's time for Q and A. If you have a question, write the word question, then post the question there after. Or you can purchase a Super Sticker Super Chat. There's a little dollar sign in the chat box. And if you're watching the replay, you can hit a super thanks. All the monies from the Super Sticker Super Chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley. That's a picture of him right there. He's my son who passed away over five years ago and is honored. We donate to causes like the Hoffman process and Insight Institute, just to name a few. So let's see if we can collect $50 today to donate, okay? Let's see if we can get $50 collected today. All right, if you have a question, post the question in the chat box and we'll just start. Hey, Lis wants to say, Jonathan, this is sinking in. It's resonating. I'm glad to hear that. Down what, dow what you love. It's definitely resonating with me, Jonathan. Hey, Lisa Cunningham's in the house and she has a question. Do you have any advice for a dating a widower whose wife passed away about two years ago? You know, I think what comes to mind is I invite you to be aware that if you're your beloved who passed away is on the forefront of your consciousness, any new person you're dating is going to be in a very awkward situation. What that means to say is they're gonna be competing with your beloved who's passed away, whose transition. So if you really wanna give full opportunity for love in your life, then you have to recognize that anyone new is, while they can have absolute compassion and empathy for what you've experienced, they just don't wanna be reminded of your spouse who passed away. So just be aware that just like you wouldn't want, most like, I mean, certainly you might wanna share the experience of what happened, but if you're constantly reliving it, if you're still deeply madly in love with your spouse who passed away, can you really open your heart to someone new? That's just a question I invite you to ask yourself and that's the advice I would give to somebody who's had a spouse that's passed away. All right, hey, I just wanna give props and thanks to our new member for joining our group. Thank you so much, I appreciate that. True Morris says, I lived with my last boyfriend whose wife passed away from fentanyl and now we're not together anymore because he did not face it and a lot of other things. Yeah, exactly, that could be a toughie. Lisa wants to come back and say, yes, Jonathan, he doesn't seem to be reliving it. Okay, that's good. Well, that's my advice to him. So if he's not reliving it, then he's following the advice I have and I hope that works out for the friend that you're asking that question for and I appreciate your thank you as well. All right, let's see if we have any other questions in the house. McCoy Oak Hill Farm says, most men I've known never share their feelings. Others were overly emotional, I quit sharing and would get quiet on them. You know, you can always lead by example. You can always lead by example, that would be my invitation for you. All right, let's see what we got. All right, if you have a question, write the word question and post the question thereafter or we're gonna have a very short video tonight. True Morris wants to say, I can't open, they can't open their heart if they haven't gotten help. Yes, indeed, I certainly somebody who has gone through the loss goes through a grieving process. And you know what? I don't think enough attention is brought to a different kind of grieving that happens and that is not when somebody passes away but when a treasured relationship ends. I don't think enough attention is brought to the emotional death of the loss of a treasured relationship. You know, I'm experiencing this with the, you know, now that Maria's transitioned and I can tell you there's a, you know, this is a death of sorts and I'm going through a grieving process. Some people have complained, why do you keep talking about Maria? I talk about the things that I think are relevant and if that bothers some of you, I'm sorry but it's just that I'm in a grieving process over the loss of this treasured relationship. While I cognitively know it was the best thing and she's made room for someone very special to enter my life, which I'm very grateful for. At the same time, you know, I went from being a we, you know, to now being a me and she's herself, you know, going through this experience is trying to recalibrate back into my sovereignty, back into my individual identity is no longer a we and partly because we spent so much significant time together when two people live together there with each other 20, no, not quite 24 seven, but a significant amount of time and that all of a sudden changes. So my point is, is not enough attention is drawn to the grieving that happens when a treasured relationship ends versus the loss of somebody. And I think this is a micro trauma. I think people are experiencing micro traumas all the time not enough attention is drawn to the importance of healing through these micro traumas. I've been working with a coach since this all, I was working with a coach prior to all this, but I've been working with a coach since this all happened and that is to help heal my heart. And I invite you all to ask yourself, have I healed from a past relationship? Because without healing, it's gonna be difficult to lean into any new relationship if you're still pining for an old relationship. Anyways, that's just some thoughts I wanted to share with everyone. So thank you so much. All right, we've got, Sherry wants to say, Jonathan, we understand you're grieving and hugs. Thank you so much. Beach lover says, keep sharing your experience with me and we're learning from it. That's the only reason why I share my personal life with you, it's I can talk, I can talk from experience in this particular case or certainly from my clients experience as well. Sammy's in the house and she says, how do you deal with jealousy, comparison and a healthy way? I tend to go really quiet. One of the things we learned at Insight Seminars, by the way, if you're not familiar with this, type in, someone write this in the chat box, Insight Seminars. I think it's insightseminars.org or just Google Insight Seminars. But when we did Insight Two, there's one, two and three. When we did two, we talked quite a bit about, was it two or one? Wait a minute, here's my Insight book. What did we talk about? We talked about comparisons a lot and how to recognize that the ego has this defense mechanism that has to compare ourselves to others. And it's a way of making ourselves out to be small. Now, I don't remember the particular exercise to heal comparisons, but I would highly check out Insight Seminars and do matter of fact, or Google to work on how to heal jealousy. I'm not an expert at healing jealousy. I just know that, look it, when somebody's with me, I don't get jealous because when I'm dating someone and I'm sleeping with them, hey, they're with me. I don't, you know, if they're actively talking to other men, but they still come home to me, I'm like, I'm the winner in this. So I operate from victor consciousness, not victim consciousness. So, I mean, I just, Sammy, I'm not an expert on jealousy, but that would be my suggestion to do a little bit of work in that area. Donna reads in the house and she says, you made a huge difference in the way I look at stuff. Well, thank you so much. Lisa wants to remind us that yes, healing is important exactly. Lisa also wants to say, Jonathan, I appreciate sharing about your breakup. You both seem to be doing well. Yeah, she's, I think she's doing great from what I understand. And I'd like to think that I'm getting along as well too. All right, Suzanne is in the house. I just got out of a 17 year long relationship, married for last seven. I want to date, but it scares me. How do I know when I'm ready? You know, the fact of the matter is we're never ready. We're always getting ready, but if we're doing work and healing, we're always getting ready to get ready to get ready to get ready to get ready. I'm not sure, you know, I think, okay, here's when you know you're ready. When you're in victor consciousness and you're in a state of gratitude, when you operate from a state of gratitude with victor consciousness, you're not operating from victim consciousness. And I gotta tell you, a lot of you ladies, you guys are suckling on the nipple of victim consciousness. I mean, at least here in the United States, we are addicted to victim consciousness. If you don't know what victim consciousness is, type into Google or type into YouTube, victim consciousness. These are people that complain all the time. They whine, they complain about the opposite sex. They take no ownership in the lot in their life. But how do you know you're ready when you're operating from gratitude, when you're state of gratitude? Like I'm, listen, am I ready to meet someone very special? I'm in a state of gratitude. I am incredibly grateful for the experience I had this past year that we spent together. She was an amazing human being. I have nothing but really good things to say about her and good things and good well wishes for her as she goes on to her journey. And I'm very grateful for where I'm at in my life. And by the way, I've had some down days. I had some real setbacks recently. And at the same time, I'm in a state of gratitude. Gratitude is, by the way, if you're not familiar with Joe Dispenza, can somebody look up or type in the chat box, Joe Dispenza, just type in the YouTube, Joe Dispenza gratitude. Joe Dispenza gratitude. Even Lisa wants to say, practice gratitude by writing down at least three things every day you're grateful for. How about 300 things you're grateful for? Jonathan, 300 things, yeah. Anyway, so that's my invitation for you, okay? All right, let's see what we got here. All right, somebody wrote in Joe Dispenza. Exactly, thank you, Lisa. I appreciate that. Hey, listen, Alison Armstrong is hosting a class at five o'clock today, which is gonna be in 45 minutes. I signed up to Alison Armstrong. If you're not familiar with her work, folks, by the way, all the books I recommend are listed below. Check out her book called The Queen's Code. I'm actually doing a course called The Freedom from Ordinary. Oh, by the way, if you're not familiar with my book, what the heck is self love anyway? A journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work, check out the link below. And what I'm here to say is I'm doing Alison Armstrong's class tonight. It's for one hour, I'm just gonna be, so I wanna log off kinda early today. That's why I started early today. But do, by the way, start checking out work of, go to a Joe Dispenza workshop, go to an Alison Armstrong workshop. I'm going to Abraham Hicks in Los Angeles. She's gonna be both in Los Angeles and Long Beach next year in 2024. I'm gonna probably go to both. So if any one of you are interested, make a note right now. I'll be, probably I'll be at both of them. I just start going to self-help spiritual work. I'm doing this thing called a psychic healing arts crafts fair this weekend. I am, listen, I'll be putting myself on the dating apps, okay? I will be, okay? I'll join match.com, I'll join Bumble. I'll probably join Hinge at some point. Millionaire match and I'm the league, okay? I'll be on the apps, but I'm actually physically going out to the world because I think organic meetings has been something that we've gotten out of touch with, particularly after COVID, and I'm really a big proponent of being out in the world. So I'm gonna do my best to go out to as many things I've got a spiritual journey coming up in November. I've got Allison's event. I'm doing Catherine Woodward Thomas' online event starting tomorrow, calling in the one. So, which I posted about that before. My invitation for everybody is get out there and meet people organically. Oh, Julie Furman is hosting event in, I think it's Westlake Village, California at the end of November. It's a singles mixer. I'll be going to that. So start looking, go to meetup groups, start looking around in your local area, see what's going on and get your butts out there. That's what I'm doing and I'm inviting everyone else to do as well. Hey, I just noticed that Jeff Phillips, your recommendation on Susan Winter has been great. Thank you. I still love you. Well, thank you so much, Jeff. I appreciate that. Susan Winter is a butt of mine. I think she's great. As soon as I can make it out to New York, I'm gonna connect with her. I think she's great. Ivory wants to say that Queen's Code is such a good book. Everybody check out Alison Armstrong. I just talked about her a moment ago. Abraham Hicks is a woman. She channels a spirit named Abraham. Love Abraham Hicks stuff. Just to name a few. Joda Spenza. Yes, Matthew Hussie is getting married. Congrats to Matthew Hussie. Darla wants to say agree on the therapist thing. Did that. Now I know better. Exactly. All right. Sammy wants to say Susan Winter Rocks. I agree. I love Susan. She's a butt of mine. All right, folks. Hey, listen. I just wanted to do a short live video of tonight. I hope you got value and why men stop expressing their feelings. It's because you probably turned into his therapist and he doesn't want to fall. He's not gonna fall in love with this therapist. So be careful becoming a man's therapist, okay? Jeff says, do you do lives every Tuesday? I typically do every Monday at 4.50 p.m. St. Angeles time, Tuesday, 4.50 p.m. I'm just doing it early because I'm doing a class tonight. And then Thursdays, I'm doing four o'clock because the bachelor, golden bachelor starts at 5 p.m. East Coast. And I wanna make sure everyone can watch that isn't watching the golden bachelor. And let's talk about the golden bachelor next week as well. All right, folks. I'm gonna wrap up today as I, oh, first off, if you found value in this, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel. Post a comment below as well. All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big gigantic John the Merrick of self-love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone. A pat, a titty bear pillow and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. I wanna thank Barney and Sherry and Lisa and Beach Lover and McCoy and Sammy, True Morris, Jeff Phillips, Carla, Darla, Ivory, everyone, Marilyn, thanks so much. Have a fab evening. You be well. All right.