 People sound massively, massively better. People sound like people again. I can understand speech so much more easily. It's kind of hard to describe really. The feeling that you're having to concentrate feverishly to understand what somebody's saying, you know, just kind of shut out everything else, just decipher, decipher, concentrate. In most situations I've just gone. I feel like I'm just hearing people like I used to hear them. She's so much more relaxed because she's not having to concentrate so hard all the time. And even without concentrating like that she's hearing far more, far more easily than she's done for years, decades probably. One day Nigel said, I think your hearing's better than it's been in living memory actually. And that made me laugh because I was like look when you met me I didn't have any hearing problems at all. But I think it was a good example of just how big the transformation has been. I think you have to go back years. I think decades is true. Really? You have to go back a long while since it's been so easy for her. So how's it been going since the last four years? It's been going really, really well and fantastically well. Saturday I went to this local history day school and I sat through five hours of lectures and I just heard everything without any extra technology. And there were some people there that I knew and I was able to talk to them quite comfortably at coffee breaks and mealtimes without dragging them out of a noisy place into somewhere quiet. Good. Really good. I think the improvements happen so gradually. It's kind of sometimes hard to pinpoint as you're going along exactly what's happening. Except in situations where you can hone in on something which is hard to begin with and then see it get better. So the example I would use for that is the car radio. And that was quite interesting because quite soon after the operation I realised that I could hear bits of the news even whilst driving along and then I started realising that I could understand people on interview programmes and one day I was listening to this thing and thinking what on earth is this about? And it turned out to be a drama and I thought wow I can understand a bit of drama here. It's just so gradual that one day you're just driving along and you hear something and you think goodness I can hear this. I'm actually hearing it you know I'm obviously not lip reading because I've been thinking it's a car radio and I'm not concentrating because otherwise you know I wouldn't want to because I'm driving. I'm just I'm not deciphering I'm hearing it just naturally and and you know to have come that far in just three months seems like a stack of ring. It was just just incredibly quickly you know she would say initially well there's kind of two voices there's this thing on our shoulder which was the implant and then there are other things going on and they didn't seem to be matching up and then all of a sudden they were matching up and off we went. Especially to begin with I spent a lot of time doing exercises listening exercises to try to improve how my brain was processing the new speech it was hearing and I think that was hugely helpful. I've not tried to understand people without lip reading them but it's it's become apparent that I'm not doing that in the way that I previously was so you've pointed out that I'm not looking at you in quite the way that I would have been looking at you before. Because there's a difference between how you and I would look at each other well I would look at Vera and how she was looking at people before she had the implant you know you're focusing on the mouth not looking at the person as a whole and it's become quite noticeable to me without her even being aware of it she stopped focusing on people's mouths because she doesn't need to anymore. Also what Lynn had advised me from the hospital was that the more I could be in environments with speech and sound around me the better it would be so you know not to sort of hide yourself away well I didn't want to hide myself away I wanted to get out there as quickly as I could and started taking part in the activities that I've been finding so difficult so I think probably all of that helped as well because I was you know exposing myself to lots of language and speech kind of almost every day including in situations that I'd previously not been able to handle but just you know getting out there and living my life again and I think that made that made a that was like an exercise in itself although it didn't feel like an exercise so I don't know if you can remember what you your goals were no tell me what my goals were so they're probably not what I'm doing now at all but they well it'll be interesting to see actually which ones you've managed and maybe maybe you've got some new ones some slightly different ones one of your goals was to be able to join him conversation without avoiding more difficult listening environments yeah well I think I think I can do that it's kind of massively better one of the things that happened in the first week it was the time of the annual archaeological society christmas meal and I'd not booked in for the meal because you know a week after switch on I thought it was yet crazy to try and go to a group meal but I did want to see people again because I'd missed a couple of meetings because of the operation so I organised to go up to join them for coffee after the meal and you know it was like a week after switch on but I could hear the people next to me and that had just completely gone in a you know a noisy venue with people talking to each other the whole time and sometimes I was having to ask people to repeat what they said but it had only been a week you know you can't imagine how thrilling it was that a week later I could actually you know be there in a big cafe with my friends and talk to the people next to me it was just stunning so I was lip reading I was asking them to repeat sometimes but I was there people were saying things to me and as far as I know I was saying perfectly sensible things back you know it was wish you'd gone you know sometimes you try and guess what they said and an answer and it was the wrong answer yeah that was really memorable wasn't it because it was so so early yeah only thought gosh this is going to be good yeah yeah even very very basic simple things like talking to Nigel over supper now we just sit there and eat supper and chat to each other and that was one of your other goals oh was it it was it was it was to enjoy conversation with Nigel at meal time yeah absolutely absolutely now we just sit there and chat like normal people do the christmas cards example was a good one wasn't it we were just writing our christmas cards as we do every year we sat at the kitchen table and you know just saying stuff inconsequential trivial things but they matter so much in feeling that you've got a hold on the world that you've got a place in it it was actually a revolutionary process in the first two or three weeks yeah and I mean all right there are kind of evolutions going on underneath that now you're into a more evolutionary thing but I mean the change in those three weeks I mean by within three weeks by christmas was just you know it was so dramatic yeah yeah yeah yeah less than a month after switch on I joined a new class and there was a confusion about the venue and I'd been given information about the venue that was wrong so I eventually worked out you know where to go and I got to the place 20 25 minutes after the class had actually started and in the past I'd have just turned around and gone home because you know I always had to be there early so I could make sure that I could sit in the front row you know tell the speaker that I was there and what I needed to hear him or her the person I might be giving a personal microphone so I could hear and I'd have just given up you know 20 minutes into the session right you know I'm just off home but I just went in and said very quietly you know sorry I'm late and sat at the back it wasn't a huge room but the only seats available were at the back so I sat at the back and I heard the whole thing and the class included some small group work so as groups of three or four people so there was a lot of noise and I could talk to the people in that group and do the group work we were doing and it and it was yeah it's just stunning re-being able to do the things that I used to be able to do before has given me you know amazing amounts of confidence back and more than that it's made me think you know this is the person who I am I'm going back to recover the person who I used to be and sometimes it's really trivial things that bring it home to you it was a real struggle hearing a speaker at a meeting I wouldn't go to things because I wouldn't be able to hear the person and now I can do that again I can go along to a meeting and hear the speaker and it's absolutely fine and you start it's as if you're putting back in place bits of you that had been lost and thinking god this is me again you know this is this is who I used to be and I'm that person again to see that completely reversed in such a short period of time is just well it's a miracle really is you know I don't believe in miracles but this is a miracle that's how it feels like to me yeah go out more for meals with Nigel and friends he says that he's more relaxed because he's not having to think about it all the time he can just be relaxing his chair and talk we've got people around us the bar was behind us people were going backwards and forwards to the restaurant and she heard every single thing so it just takes all that you know hassle and worry away and you can just do what you're wanting to do and enjoy it if I was meeting a friend for coffee we would sometimes look at several cafes before we decided on one that looked quiet enough for it you know us to risk me being in there and now you know I just think I will was the nearest nice looking cafe let's go in it and in fact a few weeks ago I had a friend saying this one looks a bit noisy very do you think we should give it a miss and I'm like oh no it'll be fine and and it was fine I'm surprised if she doesn't hear something of course previously it was exactly the reverse that it was amazing if she did hear something first off you know now you can talk to her back you can say something from another room and I would expect that she'll hear it which is incredible I think we're just now admitting to each other just how bad it got really and I think one of the worst things was you stop saying things to each other if they didn't need to be said because communicating with such a trial and now we can just say stuff you know inconsequential stuff that doesn't matter but it's part of what living with somebody means well I would I would hazard a guess that I have said in the last two months I have said I'm sorry I didn't hear you could you could you say it again more times than she said it to me because you know I think probably it's like all people who were deaf they think those who can hear have got sort of supernatural powers so she kind of says things to me when I'm standing right next to the washing machine which is on the full spin cycle and the tap's going and I can't hear a thing of course yeah no I've had to say sorry I didn't hear that I'm sure more times than her now which is you know a nice transformation you also were wondering about starting to teach a university class again yeah no absolutely that's our local University of the Third Age and the next round of teaching doesn't start to the autumn but I'm going to do it in the autumn I'm absolutely confident that I can you've kind of achieved all your goals and it sounds like you're doing very well with that but it might be an interesting one to look at the phone and the issues around the phone I just had so many completely humiliating experiences on the telephone that I just can't bring myself to do it so I've been making up all kinds of excuses some of them are reasonable excuses but they're probably excuses for not practicing on that when Nigel and I have made a quick call to each other I can hear him but I needed to I need to put time into now conquering that the quality of the line was very good she could hear everything I was saying so I I think once if you can just get over the obstacle I think she'll do it very easily I don't think it's that I can't can't do it it's that I'm still petrified of doing it yeah and that's understandable because you've obviously got to a stage in the past where it became so difficult you had to stop so tell me a little bit more about why it's important for you to use the phone oh because the one part of life that still feels like I'm a disabled person is when I want to use the phone so every every other thing I can now that I want to do I now feel I can go out and do so things that I'd stop doing I think oh I can do that now but when it's something about the phone it's like I can't do it no I don't like being in that position one day you want to do that yourself yeah yeah yeah one day we were talking about it and we were talking about the fact of a bit of an analogy really with the fact that we used to do a lot of hill walking we don't do it very much anymore but we used to do a lot and you know you're up in the mountain somewhere and you're going along a narrow path and you know for quite a few years there'd been obstacles in my path but there were insurmountable obstacles I could step over them or step around them and you know my path my life was still my life I was still going over the obstacles and I was on my life and then in 2017 when my hearing took another big dip I felt like we both you know not just falling flat on my face but I felt like it was a precipice and I'd gone over it and I was clinging on desperately to life and feeling my fingers slip yeah and you think goodness you know I'm gonna I'm gonna go I'm gonna drop I can't do this and then the implant operation came along and you know it felt like okay pull yourself up be back on the path right let's get on with life now you know this is just it but that that that period when it went from well my hearing's a disability but I'm coping with it fine to you know this is a serious big thing and I'm not sure I can handle it was awful and then to come back from that to think gosh you know here I am I'm back to normal again I'm better than I've been for years it's just completely liberating the huge changes for me are about the fact that you know being able to talk properly to Nigel in all rooms of the house in all levels of conversation just chatting about stuff the change of feeling that I've got myself back you know the person I'm used to being I've recovered again or I'm recovering again and and that's that's very important because when something really rocks your sense of self like that it affects it affects absolutely everything um and yeah they'd be I'll have two I'll have those two a bit different for you you're in you're more a bit of a different position yeah yeah so you're allowed how you're allowed to have more than one see the good thing is is it is I've gotten Nigel's jokes back that's the thing that's the thing that's a big thing most people say would say that there are disadvantages to everything the other thing that's happened I think is that I'm I think better tempered than I was I've got quite grouchy about about this kind of thing because when you're really really struggling if there's an underlying degree of irritableness and frustration it actually comes out more easily with people that that you are closest to like your husband and sadly and but oh my goodness Nigel doing the washing up Nigel is very good at washing up and he balances all the pots and pans in a sort of a precarious pyramid by the sink which is great which is great except the the clutch and if one of them slipped the clattering of those pots and pans was was kind of blew my head off it really did so I'd be saying oh my god thank Nigel you know stop it stop it and he'd be I'm only I'm only washing up and he was only washing up and I was experiencing that noise and both realities were true but it was it was it was yet another barrier wasn't it well then you used to turn your hearing aids off so I couldn't you couldn't hear anything but you couldn't hear me either I only wanted one thing really that is to to get Vera back and therefore to get us back and so I'm quite satisfied I've got everything I wanted so we look forward to the point at which her hearing is better than mine well the number of times you asked me to ask me to repeat this we're not far away