 Have you ever asked yourself, am I toxic? If so, then you are taking a step in the right direction. Being self-aware is the first stage of acceptance that you and everyone around you are imperfect. Sometimes you don't notice that your habits are harmful to you and your loved ones, and that's why it's good to learn more about them and how to reduce that behavior. So here are six signs that you are unintentionally toxic, but not malicious. 1. You make a lot more promises than you can keep. Do you have a habit of promising a lot of things? Things like, I promise I won't tell anyone your secret, but then you end up slipping it out later on. If you tend to over-promise and under-deliver, you might not notice that you are being unintentionally toxic. Generally, over-promising stands from our desire to be liked or accepted, but this can damage your relationships and even your reputation. In order to break away from this habit, it helps to take your time before promising something. Try considering, will you be able to stand by it? What are its consequences if you do break them? By identifying these things, you will know the weight of what you're about to promise. Be straightforward and communicative about your limits. They'll understand your side as long as you're clear about it. 2. You use pity to get the things that you want. Do you find yourself using other people's pity or guilt? Things like, I feel so tired of doing everything in this house. If only someone could help me with the dishes, that would be great. Or maybe, it's been so long since I had time for myself and I still have to be on duty tonight. Just debate someone else and taking your shift out of pity? These actions are a form of manipulation and it also stems from you not knowing how to ask for help directly. You probably aren't used to opening up. This can lead others to see you as selfish or outright manipulative. It's helpful to know when to ask for help directly. Other people will understand. And when you reach out for help, it shows that you trust them. Be respectful, consider it, yet straightforward enough to get your point across. Don't be afraid to take help and be generous in giving it. 3. You're defensive. Do you notice that you're constantly blaming people or outside factors? Blaming is an easy way out. We make someone or something else responsible, rather than owning up to our past. You may feel inclined to do so because you want to prove that you're right, to the point where you victimize yourself. But sometimes being right doesn't solve the situation. What was the problem in the first place? What can you do to fix it? Try to think as a team rather than calling out individual faults. There are always multiple sides to a situation. So the next time you find yourself in this situation, try asking yourself. How can you be better? By doing so, you're taking part of the blame and working to find a better solution. 4. You're overly sensitive. Do you feel like you need to have a response to everything? When you're too sensitive, you may feel like everyone is against you. Or that what they say is a confrontation to your existence or belief. Being too sensitive may be caused by low self-esteem. You may feel like you have to be constantly on the defensive. This usually stems from a rough childhood upbringing. If you were constantly ridiculed about things you didn't have control of, chances are you grew up with insecurities over them. In trying to heal from becoming too sensitive, it's good to be self-aware. Acknowledge your tendencies and attempt to not defend yourself against them. Indulge in what self-care means to you. Identify which parts of yourself you like and focus on them. Once you have a healthy view of yourself and identity, you'll be more than capable of shrugging other people's opinions off. 5. You're exceedingly pessimistic. Are you the type of person who always expects the worst outcome? Let's say someone compliments you. Do you simply appreciate the gesture or think that there's something more behind it? Being pessimistic means that you always see the negative side of things. When other people are constantly subjected to this cynical energy, they might feel that you're a killjoy who wants nothing but to dampen the mood for them. It may be that you're pessimistic for the sake of being practical and realistic, but sometimes it's good to let loose and have fun. Plus, being too negative can cause stress, anxiety, and depression. There are always better ways to approach situations rather than being pessimistic. Try to run words in your head first before saying them out loud. Do you think it would ruin the mood? If so, then there's probably a better way and time to say it. Developing a positive mindset is a conscious effort. Look at solutions instead of potential problems. That way, you're not wallowing in the bad stuff. Lastly, it's best to surround yourself with supportive, understanding, and optimistic people. 6. You rely on others for validation. When you're too caught up in other people's opinions to the point where you plan your life around being complimented, you may not notice that you're being toxic. Not to them, but to yourself. Your body, your personality, your skills, every part of you is beautiful. Every part of you is important. But if you need other people to say it before you can feel validated, you may be facing insecurities due to low self-esteem. If you notice yourself relying on other people's views more than your own, try to take a step back and examine why you feel that way. Do you want to feel accepted? Is your own opinion not enough on this matter? Why do you think so? Take small, conscious steps to a happier self to rely less on outside validation. It can work wonders. Did you relate to this video? Remember that you're not a bad person if you can relate to these signs. You're already better by educating yourself about it. Do you have experiences with friends who are being unintentionally toxic? How do you handle them? Share your experiences in the comment section below. We appreciate hearing your stories. Leave a like and share this video with a friend if you think it'll help them. As usual, all references are in the description. Thanks for watching. Until next time.