 The narcissist has to do this before they move on, before the narcissist is able to move on. There is something they must do. It's like an itch they can't scratch. It's the only way to relieve their restless minds. The narcissist has to be superior. They have to be better than you, so they cannot move on if you are better than them. Which means that before they move on, they have to destroy you. They have to break you down. They have to pull you beneath them. Because they're in competition with you. They see you as their rival, as their opposition. And they are trying to establish their superiority over you, before they move on. They need to be in the best possible position, so that they can tell everyone that you are the problem. Because otherwise, if you are the problem, why are you doing better without them in your life? It wouldn't make any sense. Which is why they have to break you down. They have to traumatize you. They have to destabilize you. So that they can tell people how crazy you are. So that they can get people to believe their side of the story. They will withhold information from you. So that you try to seek answers. To make you look like a crazy person for continuing to stay in contact with them. They have to destroy you. To make other people think that you're the problem. Which is why they will create a false narrative. They will say lies about you. They will make up the story that you are crazy. Which will be believable to other people. Because they've caused you to lose your sense of direction. They've left you confused and unable to think clearly. They've left you in a state where you're not in your right mind. So now it's easy for the narcissist to throw out these accusations. And say that you're doing something wrong. People who really know you will understand what's going on. But other people will believe the narcissist lies. Which may make you want to convince them that it's not true. But by doing that, you will be wasting your energy. You need to realize that it's not your job. To change other people's minds. And you already have enough problems and difficulties to deal with. After being involved with the narcissist. So don't even try to prove yourself to anyone. The narcissist is only doing this because they need to make you look crazy. They don't want you to move on. They want you to keep thinking about them. Because they have an attachment disorder. When they were children. They had issues establishing a deep emotional connection. Which resulted in them developing an avoided attachment style. While also being extremely sensitive to rejection. Which is why they want to leave you holding on. They want to keep you waiting. They want to keep you dependent on them. Because that puts the power back in their hands. Which is why they lied to you. Which is why they would hold information from you. Because it keeps you seeking answers from them. Which gives them a sense of power and control. It gives them attention. It shows them that you care. Which makes them feel confident. It tells them that they are special. And that is why they play these psychological games with you. Because it gives them emotional validation. Which is something that they experienced in childhood. They are playing the same games with you that they played with their parents to get attention. Which is never going to change. Even if they move on. They are just going to do the same thing to someone else. The narcissist has to destroy you before they move on. They have to keep you in a vulnerable state. So that it's easier for them to come back to you. They want your attention. If you are in a vulnerable state. You are more likely to act in accordance with their commands. They want you to be easy to manipulate and control. They will give you false epiphanies and fake apologies. They will tell you that they have changed. But that's not the reason why they are hoovering you. They will only hoover you to meet their own needs. They will only hoover you to get your attention. They need attention. Because it's something they never had in their childhood. Which is why they have to create these situations. Where they are able to get it. Because they have this empty hole inside of them that they are trying to fill. But it's never filled. It keeps leaking out. They can never satisfy their ego. They always want more. Which is why even when you love them despite everything they have done to you. They still don't recognize it. They still don't appreciate it. It doesn't mean anything to them. Because they can never be satisfied. But this is why they have to destroy you. Because they are looking for attention. They are dependent on other people for that. Which is why they need your eyes wide open. They need you hanging on to their every word. They need you to have unsophisticated and uncritical acceptance and admiration of them. They have to argue with you. So that they can feel like they've won. So that they can feel like they're right. This is what they have to do to fill their void. But it only lasts for a short period of time. They're never satisfied. Because they never look at themselves. To see if there's something they need to change. Which is why they keep doing the same thing again and again. But they have no incentive to change. Because they're getting what they want. So even if they move on. Their behavior isn't going to change. They will be this way for the rest of their lives. They have to destroy you before they move on. They have to win. Because that's what fills the void within. They have to feel like they're better than you. Even if that's not what is really happening. Narcissists are emotionally underdeveloped. So they're fine with people believing a lie. As long as it gives them validation. And people will believe whatever they see in front of them. They will extricate themselves from excessive thought. By choosing the simplest cause of action. Which is why fly monkeys continue to exist. Because they don't really understand the narcissist. They're seeing the situation from the outside. They're not personally involved in it. And it's not your job to get them to understand. Let them observe you. Let them watch. And continue being the star of your movie. Let the narcissist run its course. Eventually they will get bored. Eventually they will find someone else to abuse. You just need to separate yourself from them. Break the attachment. Remove yourself from the drama and chaos. Distance yourself and then you will be unaffected. By it you will live a more passionate life. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonates with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate. My PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries. You can email me at coachinganarchsfiber.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.