 Oh, stop begging me for sex. It's not going to happen. Are we live, man? Yeah, we're live. Hey, mom. Hey. You look like a live, you know, that show, the fucking video game, Kenneth's Canon edit, bully. Bullie. Yeah, I love that game. You look like a fucking someone who made that game in a. Yeah. A nerd who made that game. Rockstar. I like the Brown University shirt. Episode number 38 of the Muddy Mucka fully actual podcast. And boy, oh, boy, do we have some shit going on. A ripper. Michael. Is no longer single. He is engaged, in fact. And we have both of our fiance's behind the camera, and they're going to come on to talk to you guys just about what it's like dating us and being engaged to us now. The holy shit. Man, we are both so fiance. Oh, and what about you, Matt? How's your love life gone? Still sitting next to that toy baby all alone. I'll have a real one one day. Yeah, I don't doubt it. You'll steal one from the maternity ward and put it under your foreskin and leg it out of there. Man, we've got a pretty wild fucking episode. We got, like I said, we've got our fiance's coming on. We got the bloody what else we got the black book. We've got the Bible. We've got a lie that we're going to get with Greg, but we're going to do it properly this week. Our fiance is going to help us lie. We've got the new segment, the mother can fashions. Hi there. It's Connor, the editor of the podcast. Just wanted to let you know that the can fashions this week were too fucked for our new sponsors. So instead, we'll be bringing you a new segment for mother next week. So we've got a P.O. box. We've got a fucking bunch of them to strap yourselves in, you bitch. It's time to fucking get while outside. Look at my leg. Look at my leg. I don't know if you can see that. This probably be demonetized now, but we filmed a beautiful website video today, which garden tool hurts the most. And we ran a whippersnip around my leg. And it did it on your little shading. We did it on a wood, like some wood chair thing. I think it was yours. Sorry, Brown. Yeah, yeah, we took a wood chair that you own and we tested on that. And it carves in like straight away, like cut takes wood off. Yeah, it chipped the wood away and I really which chair was in the car. So it's got your name on it or something. I don't know. And I'm sorry. But like if you hold it there long enough, it just starts carving away. Yeah. And fuck me. So we got this. We got next week is the is the finale. So this is we got this podcast. Then we're filming another one next Tuesday, it's Thursday right now. And then that Friday, we're filming the finale. So next week is just podcast, podcast. And then we're done for the season. Yeah. And then we got a few more week, four more weeks. Yeah, four more weeks of filming. Yeah, dude. And then it's fucking fall on until we go on break. But then we get break. Yeah. And then that body is like two months. Well, six, seven weeks. Yeah. I know, mate. It's crazy. Hey, how long do you get a break for from your concrete tower? About two weeks. That's not long at all. That's not very much time off at all. I always found with school holidays like that as soon as I at the beginning of the holidays, I start thinking about, oh, the end of the holidays are just around a corner. And then I don't enjoy my actual holidays. That's what you're going to be in for. It's OK, Bozzy. Oh, Bozzy doesn't like the loud noises. Bozzy up on the couch. Evil laugh. Let him up on the couch. Oh, Matt, you just rejected him. Well, you shouldn't have been mean to me. Matt, what? Bozzy's got nothing to do with this. He's a pure soul. All right. Don't take your hatred on me out on out on the most pure thing that has God has given us. Yeah, he's beautiful. Oh, poor Bosley. God, he's not feeling well. He didn't eat all his dinner. He's walking around with his tail in between his legs. I don't say that. Yeah, it's kind of really wronged it and this podcast and everything. Where the st. All right, let's let's get these fucking sponsors out of the way. All right. And then we can fucking get on with the good shit. All right. Now, we're not doing athletic greens today, as you know, from last week. It's very important that the athletic greens goes well. So we're secretly just going to remind you guys about athletic greens. All right. Now, we we're not lying when we say that we actually do take this taken to today. Yeah, we do take this. It is an energy booster and you do feel legitimately feel better. It is it is like fucking good shit. You've been having it. Yeah, I love it. Do you like it? Yeah, it's actually really good. Yeah, I just fucking skull it and then you're set for the day. So if you have an unhealthy lifestyle, this is actually a good way to offset cancers. I reckon this will get rid of your cancers. You can just it is an instant energy boost. I just had one before and I feel much better. Will it give me a girlfriend? Yeah, dude, 110 percent will help with health, which therefore will get that down the cheeks love health, cheeks love health. And it's like a subscription. So you sign up and it's a monthly subscription and you get a month's worth. So you don't even have to think about health. Just rocks up at your door and then you can do as many math pipes as you want. Yeah, he's drugs like it's it's good for the come downs, I reckon. So athletic greens dot com slash fully actual please. Help us out because if we can keep this sponsor, then we can do rad shit. With the podcast, it's better. We can buy Matt like a really realistic sex doll. If we got you as loneliness in when we were at the sex shop the other day for that video, did you know that you can get a real looking girl? It's unbelievable like two or three grand. Yeah, he does know that he's nodding very aggressively. He's he's a well aware, but don't waste your money on me. What about I'd rather you save it so you can. Well, what a podcast money. What we're saying is what we're saying is if you help out with our athletic greens, guys, then we can buy Matt that sex doll. Holy shit, maybe we should. No, because we can keep the podcast. That can be his new chair. Oh, my God, you could sit on her. That's a waste of money. You wouldn't. Yeah, well, we'd use it. It'd be it'd be your god. Why don't you put it towards good things like, you know, we can upgrade the charity over the charity. She's always talking about charities that word. God, you know that charities, people, by the way, we've worked with charities before. So yeah, the ones we've worked with are very good. Yeah. Hummingbird House is very good. They were dying kids. But this the fucking what was the one we did for the fire? The bushfire relief for all the animals were dying. Yeah, yeah. They take 60 percent goes to admin fees. Doesn't matter how much money they make. So if they make ten million dollars, 60 percent will go to admin fees. And what is it? Like, you know, those ones that try and stop you when you're at shopping malls? Oh, I like the WS. Round up, round up. They literally, it's all just a business. The more they make, they sign up, the more money. So don't feed into that shit. Yeah, the fucking anyway. Don't do it. Sorry. Speaking of shit, you're sitting at home. You're sitting at home. You're you're fucked on a fucking Monday night. You've come home from another shit day at work. You feel like shit. You look like shit. You look back at your life and you can't believe that you've gotten to this place now. You're a piece of shit. You're a lonely, unmotivated, hairy cunt. And you're sitting there listening to us. When really, you should be going to manscaped.com. Use our discount code fully actual and get yourself some grooming supplies so at least you're presentable when you go out into public. It's fucking disgusting and I'm sick of it. Get up. Do something about your spiraling life. You fuck with. Sit up. Get off the phone and go to manscaped.com. I'm talking to you too, Matt. No. They've got women. It's for women too. They've also got shit for women, all right? All kinds of male grooming shit, right? Shit that you need. Ball trimmers, they got ball wipes. Ball toner. Don't they? But if you're a women, you can still have it. Your balls will be so smooth and shiny. They'll get sucked out of the sack. They get sucked so hard out of the sack. They look so good. You want to get sucked off in a park? Don't you want to get sucked off again? Well, look at you now. I know it's going to suck you off. You're walking around all fucking gross. Use the ball reviver. Use the ball reviver. Also for women. Yeah, especially if you've got balls. Yeah. They have balls too now. So manscape.com, fully actual 20% for 20% off. Get your fucking shit together. Stop sitting there in your spool of self-pity cunt and do something about your shit. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. It'll feel better if you do it. It's like have the athletic greens to make your body feel better. Yeah, we'll start with that. And do the manscape to look better. Start with that. It's part and parcel. And then to pass the time on a weekend, go to our subscription website. University of Markle. There's a free trial, all right, for 21 days. You can watch the videos for free. Do you understand? And we post weekly videos. They're like half an hour long. The video coming out this weekend, we have the Alien Hunting vlog. It's like fucking 30-minute episode of where we, with the cracker milk boys, we go camping. Do you remember that? I was there. And we fucked with your shit bar, didn't we? And we get high and talk about all sorts of silly bugger things, don't we? Lots of explosions. We hop off the van with Lockie, Gottfried. Yep, he was there. That was a fucking wild episode, right? I was outside the van. Over 220 of those episodes. That's a lot. That's more than Netflix. That was the funnest time. And fuck, yeah. What are you talking about? What's wrong? The Alien Vlog. The funnest time, you destroyed all my shit. I had to sleep in your tent, which is actually more worse for you guys, because I snored a bit. And then, but then we had nothing to sleep on because you burnt everything. And bombs went off the whole time. It was fun up until sleep time. OK, yeah, all right, I'll accept that. So it wasn't that fun. But the video is out right now on the fucking website. Right, go and watch it for free. And if you don't like it, you can leave. And yeah, like, there was some balls put worked around that. And I put my balls on everything out there, baby. You remember that? Oh, yeah, everything. I think Krakomot were a bit upset. Yeah, that's why they left. Because I can put my balls on. I put my balls on their van. I remember there was a direction sign. Just this way, direction signs. And I was like, I think it's this way. And then as I like, Blink looked in the other direction. Balls on, balls. Yeah, it's so cool. I love that. Without further ado, Matt, you're going to have to go and fucking sit over there. Because right now, we're going to get our Beyonce's, the other halves of Maros and Mikos on here to talk about Michael's crazy, important, amazing engagement that he managed to pull off. It took him years to organize and plan. Holy fucking shit. Get over here, girls. Get over it. Yeah. Can help Matt. Close your legs, mom. Ha ha ha. Oh, yeah, my girl. You've got to talk directly into the mic. OK. OK. There you go. That's it. Like that. All right, so everyone. It's better with headphones. So we have any stretcher. No, I give her headphones. All right, so right here, everyone who can see on a YouTube, we have Amber and Manik. Amber is now engaged to Michael. And he's engaged to me. So first of all, Amber. I am. So she already knows his language. Yes, we'll have that for dinner. All right, so talk us through the engagement. What the fuck happened? How did he fucking do it? Look at him. He's all shy. He's getting all red. You're getting bashed. Well, audience. I've I've thought of every single way that Michael could propose. So I made it quite difficult for for him. We were supposed to go to our what was it? Like the holiday sort of house thing. That's where he was planning to do it. And I picked it and he had to think of something else. Then he thought we'll go to the reservoir and I picked it. And then he was just, yeah. And then I even thought I'd do the finale of the fully actual podcast. Yeah, he's going to get it on stage. It's not so intimate with everyone there. I wanted you to like that. I feel like you would have liked it. I would have liked it would have been way better than the other way. So I decided to hire out her business. Date night, Brisbane. And she thought she thought she thought she got James to do it. Michael got James to book Amber's business date hire, which where she just sets up a beautiful date for you and your partner. So she thought she was doing it for James and his partner when really it was for her and me. So I was sweating. It was hot. He was uncomfortable. Michael wouldn't help me pack the van. I got mad and we argued. And then we got there and I was like, can we go to go? And yeah, but he wanted to set up the camera like for another shot just before we left. And then he just kept on saying, what's this on the ground? They made it seem like it was there was like a stain or something. I was like, such a child's way. Oh, you're like, what Michael? What? Like I was like, oh, just look, look, look. And there was nothing there. And he said, I love you. And I said, I love you too. We got to go. And then he said, I don't know what to say. And I said, well, don't have to say anything. Was he on one knee when he said that? No, no. So he just said, I don't know what to say. Yeah, he just said, I don't know what to say. And I was like, I've been trying to write the whole week. And then like, literally, yeah, just written a Bible about it. Yeah, like I couldn't figure it. I was like, it's everything's so corny. And it's like, especially if you write it down, it's not natural. I don't know. It feels just so scripted. So then I just literally just said, I don't want to say. And then he was going to. That's why he was writing it down on his phone. Yeah. So when I was packing the van, I was like, why aren't you helping me pack the van? He's like, I'm texting my friend. I was like, stop texting your friend. I'd one last crack at trying to write the thing image. Which is fine to text your friend. It's just I was like going to take a shit or something. Yeah, I don't know. I was just like, I was it was just I felt weak. So I need to lie down. Yeah, he was he was weirdly numb or something. Yeah, he was laying down while I was like packing and sweating. And I was carrying this. You know how heavy that glass table is? I carried that down the stairs. I was just looking at him and he's like. Yeah, anyway, then fast forward bang. Here I am. And then I finally get on one knee. And I don't even remember. It's all blur. It's on video. But no, he just keeps on saying I don't know what to say. So you didn't even really propose yet? No, he said, what do you say? And I said, you've got to say it. Ask the question. What do you say? He goes, what do you say? Oh, my God. You've got to ask the question. Why? I was like, oh, will you marry me? As you took it out of the plastic bag. Yeah, you had a plastic bag. Grug bag. If I had it in the little ringworm thing, then it would have been too chunky in the pocket. Yeah. And the box was massive. That box. But then I just hid it in a little druggy bag. Yeah, fucking I did. So what's in the bag? And then I popped it out and then just had it. And then, yeah, fucking I did it. And I said, yes, I will be your wife. And then me and Mon rocked up and fucking packed up for him. And then off they went. Very, very. Michael just sort of does shit, just very behind the scenes. He barely told anyone what was fucking going on. Yeah, yeah. Even just randomly was like, we're all camping at Mono's. And he pulled the ring out and said, I bought a ring. No, I don't think I even had the ring. I just said, I buy it. That's right. He just said that he bought it. He's it never tells us his intentions. And then he's just, yeah, he's just a guy. I'm going to propose you give the van. No, but it was beautiful. I love the way you did it, baby. Because I was really surprised. That was the biggest thing that I was like, I'm not going to get surprised at all. However, it's the only way. It was very intense in a good way. I was in that. Yeah, well, I just wanted it to be a surprise. That's all I wanted. And I'm glad it was a surprise. It was when I was my family afterwards and then we cried at the dinner table over and over. They didn't even tell them how long we cried. We wept. We just wept. We did do it because we love each other. Oh, my God. Yeah, look at Matt. He's so alone. Oh, man. No, he's got his sex style next to him. All right. So what? So, Amber, you've you've been with Michael for a little bit now. What's it like for both of you? All right, you be as honest as you want. What's it like? What's what's the worst thing about dating us? I honestly think it was it's the it's the it's the pain stuff. Like, I actually feel sick when you come home and you've got like like bruises and stuff. And like I was telling Marty before, like I actually almost cried one time when he took his shirt off. What is that? And he was like, oh, you know, elastic bands, of course. Duh, haven't you seen it before? Yeah. Yeah. Mine's probably when I pay for something and Marty makes out to the cash register lady that I never pay for things. There's probably one I know is a thing. Yeah, what about his squirties? Oh, I don't mind. Mon and Asa don't even pay attention to my farting anymore background. Like they'll literally be talking quietly in the land room and I'll fucking let rip of the best one. I'll step into the hallway to make sure that they can hear it. And then and then they'll just continue to talk. They won't even recognise me. It won't even. It's just like. It is funny you ripping him and just seeing when Amber was over one time and just seeing Amber's reaction. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, we were in a hotel and it wasn't two separate rooms or anything. It was one room in the brownery one time you were over. Yeah, but the one at the hotel was the worst when I was actually gagged. And I was the only sober one. Yeah, that's right. It wasn't fun, but sometimes model give me like, ah, that's fucked. No, no, no, we were in the bar. Oh, but yeah, so what's the what's the most fucked thing that you've you've seen Michael do? Now, we do the website videos. Obviously, you guys hear about them, but you guys haven't seen most of the fucked up shit. What's the most fucked thing so far that you've seen Michael? Like on video or just in real life? Oh, it's it's hard. Yeah, I agree. You know, actually, no, I think at home, it's not, you know, I mean, there's he does some really, really like fucked up dances where it's just it's really, really cringe. We try to out cringe each other. Yeah, we do have a cringe. To be honest, I think I win, but there was one video. I was I'm not allowed to watch the the videos, the website videos. We will. But there was one time where I was cheeky and I went on there and all I saw was like a disabled bathroom and then Julian pissing on on Michael and I just eagerly asking for. I felt really I didn't watch the whole thing. I just I just watched Julian getting quickly, quickly, Julian. Yeah, yeah, like losing intentionally. Yeah, that was the thing I he comes home and I'm like, oh, has anything weird happened? You know, no, not really. And I'm like, OK, well, what about liquids? He goes, oh, yeah, there has been. Yeah, we quit the other day that you think you're worried about. It was Marty's shot on you. Oh, yeah. In your on your or you ate. No, the toilet I kissed. No, no, no, no, there was a poo thing. Yeah, OK. There's always a poo thing. But we have a plan to get you guys to watch to film your reactions to some of the videos. Yeah, maybe once the weddings happened. I've watched you laugh you lose. And it's not that bad. Really? You've watched the whole thing when I'm blue. It's fine. What? Which one? The one where I shaved, the one where I shaved my head. No. Oh, the one where I shit in the. Oh, with the date thing. I don't know if you know that. Of what? When Michael smears this shit on his face. Have you seen that? Yeah, I'm subscribed to the website. I saw a lot of money taken out of my account. No, you've seen that. Don't watch the Laxative Olympics because we want to show that to you guys and film your reactions. And what else? Yeah, you laugh you lose. I was going to show. Yeah, well, I reckon I wanted to see the which one where you come down in like a wizards outfit. Oh, yeah, that's one of the the first. You laugh you lose. Boys trip, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, like that's definitely not the one. Sounded gross when I. Yeah, vomit ones I don't like. Because we did we did one this week. We filmed Ken. You can Michael as Beezus make wine out of his arse. He thumbed grapes up his house and then smushed them. And then I find it interesting. You see, he comes home and I say, how was your day? Darling, it was horrible. That's all I get. And I make your dinner and we have a happy day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we just like. I shoved a grape out my arse. I lost some. I lost some grapes. They're still up there. Oh, really? I wanted you to go. Oh, yeah, clearly. Go, go, go. Yeah, no, we did lose one for a while, though. I was scared. Up your bum, an actual grape. Yeah, you got sucked all the way up to his heart. And then you can't smush them in this. We weren't going to detail. And then and then, yeah, the juice came out and we had to sample the anyway. No, I have any idea for that. And you're like, oh, I've got a great idea. Yeah, we filmed it. And I said, it's not that good. Is it? Yeah, it's not. It's not really cool. So considering all the fucked shit that we do, is there anything that turns you guys off? Michael's finger thing. That's my it's like a comfort thing. And then the jaw thing I really don't like because there's that pancake kitchen video. So I'm not a druggy person. I haven't had drugs ever or cigarettes or anything. And so being with Michael's a different. Well, I don't do drugs much. Yeah, if you met him two years ago, you'd probably vomit. You know, not not now. But I mean, I saw that video of you at the pancake kitchen. Oh, yeah. That was. Remember when Amber was about to date Michael? And I was like, just warning you, he's gross. She's still with there. I was like, she's so clean. And I'm very I am a very clean person. And I never lived in sleep. I've never lived in such a. Yeah, it's so funny when I had to move in because I knew he'd be like, he wouldn't know how to live with the person. Even like, he just wears the same things over and over again. What he used to. And I'm like, that's now because I want to save the washing. So you have to do so much washing now. And then you smell like, you know, well, yeah. But then I quickly come home, have a shower, I get clean. But it's when if I'm just hanging out with the boys all day, I don't mind if they smell me. But I think they'd appreciate you smelling nice. Do I smell bad? No, I don't. I don't know. There's a sense of smell. Smell drugs. Yeah. So. Oh, really? You think he smells? Oh, he used to smell when he didn't shower for weeks. No, he doesn't. I think I've changed that. No, I think it's about a huge change. Yeah. He used to smell like a massive change. Like even like putting creams on his face, like night time creams. And then he puts the day cream on at night. And it's not cream, but one cool thing I've done. And I remember I've never ever. This is this probably beats the engagement. The most I remember looking at you and go, wow, she really enjoyed this. It was when I took you to the Botanical Gardens. And then we had Greg's idea. Yeah, we fed the possum. Thank you, Greg. Yeah, we're going to lie to him soon. OK, and you can thank him, Greg. No, it was really great. We went to the Botanical Gardens, Botanical Gardens. And Michael said, I'm going to I'm going to take you back to your family because he calls me Blinky, like Blinky Bill, because my white hair or something. She looks like go to the garden, Blinky Bill. I used to look like a fluffy hair. I was very fluffy. And then I didn't know what we were doing. And then he just started putting food out and like at the Botanical Gardens. And then all these possums started coming and he's like, say hi to your cousins. I was like inside. You should have poisoned her, man. You should have fucking poisoned them all. And then there was a blind one that made us. Yeah, we didn't like that one. We didn't like to come up too close. Yeah, now I know what's annoying about Marty. Oh, go. What? I love the notebook and the ending he ruined for me. It's like the only movie I've ever cried in. And he was like, they died together. And he's like, imagine if they just started fucking. I struggle with serious. Yeah, I struggle with serious. So basically we had a beautiful evening. Sorry for cutting you off. No. We had a beautiful evening with the proposal and then we're standing in line to go into the restaurant to see my mum and dad, right? And then we're looking at each other and we're like, it's this beautiful romantic moment. And then he's like, oh, by the way. And I was like, yes, he goes. Starting Monday, we're in Bali for two weeks. And I was like, really? And he goes, no, it's funny. You mentioned it's funny. You mentioned there is another reason we got you girls. Oh, shut up. No, shut the fuck up. So no, you didn't know you don't listen. No, listen, look, I was going to tell you. I'm excited. Yeah, look, we were going to get you guys on. They didn't get us on. I asked, OK? So this is actually it. So we thought we'd spring. This is like we thought we'd do this as a surprise. Because I was going to do it. I was going to give it to you on your birthday. I can tell when Marty's on. Yeah, I can tell it to you. Yeah, tell us a tell us a secret. Look, in at the beginning of January and it's a week, we don't have to see. We're gone for one week. These two gone for two weeks. We're going to Bali. And it's no, we're not. The boss. But we are because I'll steal your card and do it myself. If you are lying, if you are lying, because it's not a funny joke. I don't know. I can't tell now. Just tell us. Are we actually going or not? Yeah, we literally really all going. No, we're not. No, we are. I can tell. Babe, I'm going to be so angry. Yeah, I would be really. Oh, we're lying. We're going to be so angry. Well, we're still going. Well, we're going. I have your orange card, Michael. Yes. That was but soon. We will all go. Yeah, we're actually all going to go to Bali soon. And let's tell you our out. Probably not that we'll try to do this week. There's no light at Greg. Yeah, there is no light at Greg. Well, it wasn't a good one. You know, that was really. Amon was you. You were gone. We're catching. We're catching. That was so let down. I did it to her on the engagement night. I can't believe you did it on the engagement night. I was like in line. I didn't care because I looked back at the ring. And I was like, whatever. You've also fake proposed to her before. No, no, I asked him to to practice. And he did a lot better in the practice. Well, he asked me when he proposed to me. Do you say, what do I say? No, I need to say, will you marry me? And I said, yes, I will. When you love me, you didn't do. I know it was a lot of noise to say, but I loved it, Dunning. It was beautiful. Yeah, very cool. I can't believe I'm actually kind of annoyed now. But anyway. Oh, man, I'm so sorry. Yeah, that actually. Yeah, I know that we thought we will. We will be going to Bali soon. I reckon next year. Only next year. Only next year. We'll go. That's in January. Like no, no, no, no. It'll be after the first term of work. Yeah. We'll book it. We'll go for a week. I'm not that excited now. So just a little bit further away. Didn't you? Yeah, sorry about that. And it will be a nice villa. Yeah. Very nice. Yeah, a really nice villa. A bungalow. A bungalow. Bungalow. Oh, oh, oh, oh, actually, let's tell everyone our plan. What's our plan? What's the plan? I don't know what the plan. Tell us the plan, Michael. Tell them the plan. We're getting married in one year. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So because Michael is, um, you know, disabled. No, baby, you're not disabled. Sort of. No, he gets a little bit. So, oh, actually, yeah. So Michael and I had a bit of a pregnancy scare like a few weeks ago. Didn't we, babe? Yes, yes, we did. Yes. Yes, we did. But it was weird that the pregnancy test came up as positive like 10 minutes later. So gals, you know, no, read it within the exact time space because like after I peed on like eight sticks, they all came back positive. Whoa, that's terrifying. It was honestly the worst weekend of my life. I was close to killing nothing. But last night at dinner, we were talking about how we're really planning on, yeah, doing it all at the same time. Yeah, we are. So my babies at the same time. It'll be fun, like, because then like, the kids can like grow up and fuck. Oh, yeah. Ruinning moment. Yeah, you just ruin the nice moment. But yeah, maybe. We're there of age. A bit in sense. It feels in sense. Having a baby at the same time. We'll call ours, Marty, and you call yours, Michael, even if they go, especially if they go and they're gay. Not to being gay is funny. We've been there. We've also been there. So there you go. We won't talk about that in front of you. Anyway, yeah. So we're going to have kids together in like 10 years as well. So, yeah. Started 2024 in like 20 years or something. No, no, no, no, no, one year after my wedding. So May 2024. Wow. We'll message each other when we're about to go. We're usually on the same cycle. So that's handy. We are. The world will probably be falling apart by then anyway. Yeah, you're all doomed. So it doesn't matter if you're ready for your social credit scores, you fucking. Anyway, now we've done the lie. We've sort of got it. We didn't really get away with it. We did. I'm going to say that that was a success. 50, 50. I hope you enjoyed that, everyone, because now we're in trouble for that. We're going to laugh. And now we actually do have to book a trip to Bali so they won't. And we go. Yeah, so we're not angry. We thought we thought for while we got the bloody birds on, we'd go through and find the first ever messages that we sent to our partners. Didn't we? So I've screen recorded. It's fucking cringe. I'm like, really don't want to read this out. So Mon and I, like what, like it's four years ago now, four years ago. OK, so I was I was fucking and I was a piece of shit. This is like my least confident fucked. He had the pedophile haircut. I was like a fat, just gross, poor, just a real piece of shit. No, I don't know what you were doing, even talking to me. Like, what the fuck? And the way you spoke to it's pretty cringy. So get ready. Oh, I can't wait to hear you. Sorry. So let me set the scene. All right, so I'm I I knew Mon from like 10 years ago. All right, just through mutual friends. Hasn't seen spazzed out and hadn't seen her for years. And then I see her working at a cafe four years ago and I say to Michael, I had a fucked haircut from a video I had a hat on though. I was like, I have to we have to go get a coffee. I have to talk to her. Yeah, I remember. Yeah. And then I fucking went over there and I pretended like I didn't see her. And that worked. She came over and I was like, I also ordered a caramel latte. Yeah, I still order caramel latte. Anyway, aside from my coffee order, it was pretty steamy there. Anyway, so we meet there. Yeah. And then I DM her this. All right. Oh, shit. Good to run into you today. Do you live in the Asperger? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. That they stalk. And then you say that. Yeah. Yeah. And then I said, no. Dude, I know. Oh, well, what the fuck came over me. And then Mon replies, hey, babe, you too. You said get in the mess! Okay, I do not talk like that. Ha ha, yes I do. How about you? Oh! And then I say, and then I say, yeah, I'm intagin' with Michael. You stayin' in Brizzy over Christmas? And then she says, nice, is that that guy you were here with today? I am Babe, yourself. You say Babe? I know. And then I replied. Ha ha ha ha! Then I replied, yep, that was Michael. Yeah, same, staying in Brizzy and with time off until like 10th of January, how much time off work around Chrissie and New Year's do you get? Nice. I actually have most of next week off Babe and New Year's Day and New Year's Eve, Babe. What do you do these days? Ha ha ha ha! I'm Babe's wife. Is that me flirty? And, and, and Mon didn't even know what I did. So she's asking me, what do you do these days? So she's literally has no idea, because we'd only just started, you know, getting somewhere with Marty and Michael. So this is very early on. And I said, oh nice, same here. These days I have a pretty weird job. I make videos on social media for a living. Oh, oh. How are you? How's your daughter going now? She looks so old. Ha ha ha ha! Oh my God! That mouth. Oh my God. And then she goes, Ha ha ha ha! Living the dream, that's awesome! I just checked out some of your stuff, so good. Well done, I love comedy. You love comedy! When did you start that? Oh my God! This is crazy. Remember the video I watched was the magpie one. I was like, Actually, that was the magpie one! That was, that was very good work. With the fat suit. And then I said, Yeah, literally living the dream. It's pretty fucking awesome, but it's been an absolute grind for the last four years. Like we haven't had money for a holiday in four years, but we're finally making more money and can have some time off soon. Don't even say that! So excited to just chill for a few weeks. Are you seeing anyone? Shit, Darren crept in there. And then she replies the next day, Sorry, got a bit messy last night with Tara, if you saw her. That's so awesome, babe! I was wondering where you disappeared to. You can't be! No, I'm not, babe. You? So she's saying, no, she's not seeing anyone. And then I said, No, I didn't see you. Did you guys go out? No, I'm not seeing anyone at the moment either. We should get a drink together sometime. I just have to fix my super fucked up hair first. Oh, that was a nice one. We filmed a few videos with this disgusting haircut. All right, a couple more and then I'm just going to stop, OK? Come on, babe. No, just wild mum night at home, the standard. Yes, I'm keen, babe! I was like, oh my God, I saw that. I love it. I didn't notice the other day with your hat, so I think you're safe with that. Text me, babe. And then she sent a number. I'm so bad with Instagram. I'm free anytime after Chrissy too, babe. I have most of the next week off. Thank goodness. I hate the babe so much. Yeah, but he's making it sound so bad. Damn, I wish I saw it. Yeah, I'm wearing caps until my hair doesn't make it look like I'm a sex offender anymore. Is that what you said? Yeah. Yeah, OK, awesome. Let's aim for the day after Boxing Day. Let's text anyway. Instagram DMs gets hard to keep up with. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And then we went on a date and the rest is history. Oh, yeah, it was a wild day. Although you did leave him at the beat. No, no, no, this is a true day. Oh, well, yes, I left him in the beat and then we... Yeah, and that nearly, I was like, fuck, it's going to be too much of a hassle. But we moved on. Made up for it. We moved on. And then you went to Bali for a bit or something? No, I went to Bali in. All right, Michaels is good, too. I had to read of it before. Michaels started talking to Amber the, like, when we filmed the nail gun video for the website where the nail went into Michael's leg. So that's a perfect time to start talking to a girl. Huh? Oh, fuck, OK. Do it good, babe. I like the way you read it. Right, babe? Can you do your little accents and shit? Get Amber to do it. OK, pass it here. So it's just swipe that way. Oh, all right. So I said, hello, Michael. How's the morning going? And then I saw something on Instagram and I said, and I said something else an hour later. And I said, I feel stupid asking that now, seeing as Mon just told me over the phone, you got shot by a nail gun. Hope you're OK. And I think that's all right. Yeah, that's good. And then Michael said, ha, ha, I just got out of emergency. It was definitely a different sort of day where we got some sick footage. So how about you? How are the kids today? I'm a kindergarten teacher now and then. Then he showed me a picture of the nail, which is just stupidly long, almost all the way in. I can take it. You know, these aren't actually cringed. And I said, why? Oh, my God, that looks terrifying. They let you keep the nail. Oh, it's public holiday, too. So I had the day off just been finishing my last uni assignments currently sifting through 28 pages of research. So not as bad as a nail stabbing me, but still not the best. And then you said I stupidly ripped it out my. Oh, babe, ripped it out myself. Apparently you're not meant to do that. I centimeter to the left or right, it would have hit an artery. So it was a good shot. Yeah, that definitely does not sound that great either. I suck at filling out my details in a form, let alone assignments. You really hate filling out forms. Did you hear that? Is this my fault? Yeah, did you hear that Robert Pattinson is now replacing Jacqueline Phoenix in the new joke, I feel? What the fuck? Actually, that makes sense as we were talking about Robert Pattinson. I don't know, I just really... It would have been like, wow, he's got like fucking... Sounds like one of your weird lives, yeah. Way, way, way too long. Like it's just like so long. And then we start talking about, like, then I say, he's still only the new Batman. I reckon Ryan definitely overworked. Leo or Depp. And then you said, Depp and his eyeliner. But then again, Titanic Leo is just epic. You love your Titanic Leo. Oh, fucking Titanic Leo is sex, man. Wait, no, I said that. But that's what we think same. But I mean, yeah, then actually that cringe. Yeah, yours one's too bad, ours were pretty awful. We don't say babe or anything, it's like literally just like talking to a friend. And ours were pretty fucked. But I mean, I wasn't... They weren't even that bad, are they? No, like I look back at that and I'm like, what the fuck am I doing talking like that? Yeah, we just wanna talk like... It's like I lost it over the four year period where we were just pieces of shit. On the grind. Oh my God, that's embarrassing. Yeah, I think ours are fine, darling. Yeah, well, there you go. But our text messages are like... If you wanna impress a girl, get shot with a nail gun, go to the emergency, rip it out before you go to the emergency and then message her and send her a pic of it. Yeah. Or don't. And then we were actually doing fine and then you just stopped replying to me all together for like a whole day. And I was like, you know what, I'm done with this dude, like whatever, I can't be bothered. I just couldn't be bothered dating either. I remember him on and going like, do it. And I was like, no, fuck that. I just can't understand it. We were both not in the dating line. We weren't in the dating thing. I was like, whatever. And then Michael finally writes to me. Started hanging out. And then I realized why he took a while to write to me because all you guys went to Jackson's Halloween party. And then I saw on someone's story that Michael had pissed the bed. And he was like, there was, I know he did something gross or he looked like really. The next thing you were pissed in lock. Yeah, yeah. In lock of Matt Brown. In lock he got for his bed and slept next to Brown. Oh. And did I piss on you? Yes, I didn't know if I really wanted to go there. I can't believe you knew that and you still fucking hung out with me. Well, we just hung out. We just hung out. And then, you know, you came to the house with a wolf shirt and you smelled like something weird. I warned her. I think I wasn't into it, so. Huh? Oh, yeah. Oh, that wasn't an owl. All right, Matt's asked us to explain our first kisses. Here we go. We were, we were, we were in the bed and I. What, you were in bed already? Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, don't make a scene. No, no, you didn't know you were far. We just finished fucking and then I leaned over and pointed and went on. You know, we were hanging out, we went to the reservoir, then we came back, we shared a mango and then. We watched a movie. We watched Fifty First States. And then we kissed after that. No, we didn't kiss after that. We laid there for like three hours. Michael was just laying there and I was like. So scared to make a move. And then he looked up at me. The film ended and I was like, oh, so, um, and he's like, oh, so is this kind of like a sleepover? And I was like, oh, I mean, you know, if you want to. So he like quickly jumped up in his clothes and then like put the blankets over him and put them up to his chin like this. Vomited. And he was like, OK, then we just sort of laid there for like a good hour just looking at each other. And I was like, this dude is not going to kiss me. I've just got to like kiss him. And I was like, it was, it was kind of awful. It was like, we're both laying on the side. And you know, we can't really fully get lips over lips that well. And yeah, I was scared. Oh, dude, she's I was like, I literally did not want to even hang out with her. I was like, it's too good to be true. Like, I'd wanted to hurt her. Like, yeah, you did. You don't want to talk about that. Kill me. You said. Yeah, I was like, she's too pretty. I have to like destroy it. Yeah. Mon and mine's first date was was was pretty interesting. Our first kiss was X cargo. Yeah, I don't remember it. Yeah, we're pretty fucked up that night. But then we went on a date at at the at that place. Oh, at Esther's Dad's house. I was house sitting. Yeah. And yeah, we were on the balcony. It was so nice. Yeah. And our first day was pretty weird. I had some leftover MD from Christmas. Yeah, I had some leftover MD for Christmas. And then we ended up drinking. And then I was like, oh, I'm going to do some MD. It was very fun. No, not when Tara was there. No, a different night. It was like the day after you came over. Yeah. Yeah, I remember meeting you for the first time. And I actually met Marty years ago, too. At your birthday. No, no, my birthday. No, I had a dinner party. It like years ago. It's so weird. Amber watched you guys on the AFL Grand Final because I was stressing. Yeah, I was there and watched you guys on the TV. It's so weird. I just never went to the parties or anything. I was always doing something. I actually ended up going. Yeah, there you are. But anyway, guys, that is the story of us and our fiance. So they fucking have it, guys. Thank you very much for coming on, ladies. Thank you, Marty. Thank you, Michael. Looking forward to spending time together. Yeah, wow. He's to a good life. Thanks, babe. I'm going to cut you in the face. Hi. Bye, baby. Yeah. Tell me you love me. I love this one. Do you want to do a quick bong, bro? Yeah, go on. Let's get some bongs up with a bong break. All right, guys, we're back. And now we are going to get into on this day Michael's Bible, Marty's diary, and Matt's black book. There are couples still flicking around. There's a couple still flicking around on this day. All right, on this day is a segment where Matt comes in and he researches some shit that happened on this day in history. It's very pivotal. It's monumental. He's a journalist. He's for a smart man. On this day, the other day, night and day collided. Day become a bit darker, and night was lighter. It was shocking to see that day and night were no longer separated. I even started running around screaming, which woke all of my neighbors. It was very confusing to see. I started panicking, so I called the cops to report that day and night were now combined. They told me to go to bed, and that it was only seemed like that because it was 5 a.m. and the sun hadn't fully risen yet. I, Matt Brown, made a grave error that day slash night. But I'm glad I checked with the police. Or else, who knows how long I could have been screaming for. I was dead with that. It's a dark ending. So you sort of woke up at dawn and got all the day and night of morphs. OK, all right. I can see that happening. That reminded me of something. Thank you for your vulnerability. Do you remember the scene in the first Hocus Pocus where that witch goes past the window sill at the beginning of the movie? That was a terrifying movie as a child. Yeah. Do you remember that? Is that where that turns into a mouse? Nah, that's the witch's from Roald Dahl. Yeah, that's even scarier, Matt. Yeah, I know what you mean. That opening scene, that fucking witch in the train. They take their traces off, freak me out. Do you want some chocolate? Yeah, it freaked me out. Anyway, I don't know why that reminded me of that. That's what it did. Hocus Pocus was fun, though. There's a second one out now. Yeah, I put a spell on you. We've got to watch that. Sorry. Amber, how was my toilet? For a guy. Sorry. All right. Next, we have Marty's diary. And this is just where I find random entries of my diary scattered around my childhood home. And I picked this one up the other day, Matt. You ready? Entry number 85 million, 389,582. Oh, what the hell, it's not even really 80. 80. 80. 80, 80. OK, sorry. Today, it was free dress day at school. I needed to bring our gold coin to school. So mom spray painted a silver 20 cent coin bowl. She said, here's your gold coin. I put on my favorite shorts and singlet and even a hat. I got to school and the teacher asked for people's gold coin and I handed in my gold 20 cent piece. The teacher said, is this a joke? I said, I don't think so, miss. She yelled at me in front of the whole class and made me go to detention. I had to spend the whole day in detention and the teachers came in sometimes and said that I was a slimy little German thief. I got scared and weed in my shorts and then I got sent home. It was a pretty good day. Oh. Oh, fuck, man. That's fucked. Can't. That is fuck. I don't even feel sorry for you. It's just don't be poor That's fuck it's like annoying. Oh, it's look like it next way of Michael's Bible Yeah, look, I don't want to I don't want to talk anymore More and more people are getting more and more offended at anything and everything Stand up if you were one of these people then fuck you and get fucked you fucking fuckwit Even if you have the right to be offended just shut up shut the fuck up fuck Sorry And that goes to mainly people with this sort of hair Michael Michael Michael now you're being prejudiced being prejudiced, okay Now you're judging people based on hair and that's actually racism. So yeah Anyway now It is time To reveal the innermost thoughts of the most fucked cunt that has ever walked to the earth What made is time for Matt Brown's? black book Where he is detailed every single sexual experience he has ever had since he was a small little boy girl Man, I'm getting prepped for this All right, it's gonna survive Dude, it's gonna survive to fly I think and survive Nothing can survive its words Okay, as you remember Last week we found out quest and has been training Jeff Dharma to try and take Matt Brown out Matt Brown managed to defeat them both and now he's angry Not your man. Yeah And we're very unpredictable when you're angry agreed Yeah, I guess so say sorry. Yeah, maybe apologize before I even read this Number 72 I was seething with rage at what quest and had done he had tried to kill me again My own brother. He had made this personal. I was hell bent on revenge, but first I needed to blow off some steam time to go out on the town and really let my hairs down I Applied a thick layer of moisturizer to my milky squint skin and squirted some in my mouth Then I bounded backwards to the closest pub. I Stormed over to the bartender get me three large chocolate milk shaped served in pint glasses And that half a bottle of red wine to each the bartender looked confused but not it I turned away and started scanning the crowd for slits to lay my eggs into She's too pretty too sober She's got a boyfriend No prospects yet I turn and chug my first large chocolate milkshake with half a bottle of red wine in it The bartender looks on in horror as I pour the thick milkshake down my gullet Chocolate milkshake spilt out the sides of my mouth and who's down my neck and onto my shirt I did not care though I wanted to get as fucked as possible to suppress my rage I neck my second and third milkshakes and signal to the bartender hey Get me a jar full of rum and salt and put it in the microwave until it's boiling hot the bartender knotted sheepishly and started on my drink I'm feeling on my drinks already and for the next six hours my binge drinking continues It's now 2 a.m. And I can barely keep my eyes open. I decide to scan the crowd for any potential holes to hack at Then they're leaning against a wall outside the girls toilet was a magnificent creature She was thick and pale her red hair was vibrant and fierce a large fatty tits Shook violently as she power vomited straight onto the floor. I watched the security guards remove her and decided it was time to act I stumble out after her applying more moisturizer to my scalp as I went She was standing on the footpath Swank side to side I approach her hey, can I offer you a cab right home? Okay Her eyes couldn't quite focus on me and she was hiccuping profusely She had vomit cascading down her front and dripping onto the ground. I hail a taxi and I thrust her in it Her head lulls from side to side. I see the taxi driver look in the rear vision mirror nervously She's not gonna be sick as she may. Oh, no. No, she's just on on heroin This seems to work and the taxi driver goes back to concentrating on the road. Then my beast slowly turns to me Fuck me. Fuck me hard. Yeah Jackpot I immediately swoop in and we lock lips large chunks of vomit swirl around in her mouth as she pushes her hot tongue Down my throat she power vomits while our mouths are connected vomit shoots down my throat And I'm forced to skull it vomit spurts out the sides of our mouths and sprays onto the interior of the taxi Hey, get the fuck out of my cab screams a taxi driver. All right, say your fucking name on it You can my redhead beast pulls my head back into hers and we continue to kiss I feel the taxi swerve and pull over my beast grabs my hand and stuffs it up her gap It was sticky and hot. Oh, yeah With my other hand I rip down her top to reveal her fatty milk sacks I begin sucking on one eagerly the taxi drivers now open the back door and was screaming at us to I'll call the cops you freaks Get the fuck out of my taxi We continue to ignore him and I grab my twitching little brown and feed it into the bucket-sized hole in between this thing's legs It consumes my entire cock and balls and we both exhale with pleasure I grab her meaty legs and bend them back over her fucked head. I start fucking fast My beast vomit straight on her chest while I fuck which makes me vomit veins down mine I bend down and continue to suck at her tits. I suck until I draw blood from her teaks I hear the cab driver talking to the cops on the phone But we don't dare slow down people walking past had stopped and in shock and were filming us on their phones I arch my back and keep fucking wildly with every forward thrust Fatty body surges up and down like a water balloon. I feel slugs exiting my pores in my skin And I know I'm close I hear police get out of their car and surround the cab They had their tasers drawn. Hey stop what you're doing right now I continue to ignore them as slugs covered my body my pound forwards and crush up her guts My beast is convolting with pleasure as vomit trickles from her nostrils and then I feel it I'm about to mince here comes my fuck truck I scream at her just as I'm about to mince the police open fire with their tasers the taser stabs into my back And my body fully tenses as my mince chunders from my cock eye I look down at my beast and she has three different tasers frying her We sit there for a minute while electricity courses through our climaxing bodies just as the tasing stops I stop mincing I fall on top of her and we just lay there next thing I know the cops pull us out of the taxi by our hair and take us to the station Worth it time to sleep it off and start hunting quest and fuck Oh Whoa my fuck truck. Yeah, it's we say fucked fucked Holy shit, oh Don't fucking stare at me like that. We need to move on. Okay. That is heavy I'm not gonna go into that. What just what I'm on clip and I feel like now he's unclipping All right guys, we are now going to answer your questions Let's just you pick a cow fucking fuck comment of the week. All right By the way, everyone, please take this opportunity right now to give us a five-star rating on Spotify It really helps us and also like and subscribe on YouTube because that's heaps important and shit man Hmm, and if you want, you don't like some segments just like play it while you go and have a shower Oh, yeah, yeah, just keep it playing bro. Keep it playing bro. Am I right Matt? All right, we're gonna answer your question now questions that you guys comment on the money Michael fully actual YouTube channel And we answer the most like questions first So once you comment your question have a scroll down and like the other questions that you want us to answer Okay money cow. Yeah, yeah that to just read it out I couldn't be fucked even explaining that sheet and no bachelor brown today either We've noticed a lot of people aren't we're just gonna have the conclusion at the finale and then I'm I'm quite You're quite exhaust. Please Please I'm drained. I believe you did that with Sorry His hairs All right Comment of the week went to hunter-height here we go I only chose this because someone else laughed at it and read it out to me at work It says Matt's such a nice 65 year old man Yeah, that's pretty good. Sorry. Yeah, it's somebody come up to me and read that at work and thought it was what do your Do the people your co-workers talk about the podcast now couple do so it's getting more and more Spreading yeah, what's is that gonna? What are they? What are they gonna do one day? What are you gonna do? Well, I've told my boss that I do it and he's a bet she is um, but he hasn't listened to it though Has he no and I tell her not to I tell everyone else at work not to but then I get people come up and they're like That would make them want to watch more. Yeah, absolutely But what do you do gotta say just don't do it But then people come up to me a lot and say, oh, how is the camping trip? How was the road trip? I saw you get picked on like, you know, or they'll come up and and oh, what's other shit You've done to me. Oh, did they give you TVs back? Oh, I walk off Yeah, and I'm like, oh, okay, so they're seeing you fire it So they see the videos and that gets me worried And I think one of my big bosses has like like 16 year old 17 year old kids and that panics me that you know It's gonna happen. But one of the um, one of the one of the big bosses has what are the assistants like the Slaves yeah them so I'm she came up to me and she's like like an a big ea for one of the big bosses came up to me He goes Matt. Oh, yeah, and she's like My kids showed me a video You're in And so they her kids showed a video of you two that I happened to be in and Yeah, she's just just shocked. She had no idea was it the judging who's sexiest video. No, I think it was No, it was why it was think it was the the how to ruin a road trip There you go fucking crazy People at work watching the vids. Yeah, but she's like, did you eat you eat the toenails you ate the toenails Disgusting Like oh, what do you do for a work? And I'm like, oh I work for you know wholesome concrete and then but then everyone's like Oh cool. Yeah, what do you like what else do you like? Oh? Do this podcast and then that becomes obviously ten times more interesting and way more questions come out of concrete Come on. I think you're down playing it a little bit Don't be so hard on yourself Did you mention the name of the company should we cut that? No, everyone knows Everybody knows sorry, and if you don't well now you do Stay wholesome All right first question is from D Koda question for the podcast if each of you were running for prime minister What would your slogans be? Be be be more be yeah, be more be be more be or and Be more you want it you got it You want it you got it, and I'd give everyone everything that they wanted all the time I'd be like if you see it believe it That's what I'd say I need to even have the I'd be like it's still be a part of this tagline Yeah, I'd be like if you see it believe it, and I might it be and then then be one I got it if you want it you got it. I'd have like a picture of Eyes and seeing I'd have 50 wallabies in a cage Why don't you got it? I? Have the word freedom, but it would be spelled T-h-r-e-e F-r-e-e freedom They spell three how do you spell three three you nailed it T. H. R. E. E. Yeah, that's a spell Never that's weird. Well, we think sometimes alright next question is from Hunter hot Win in the cow getting a question in you want it you got it Hunter Boys it's Halloween. What is your favorite candy for Halloween? What's your favorite? No, like we don't really? Celebrate how you're here in Australia, but the favorite candy man. I'm man. I'm man, so that's not chocolates It's candies. Well candy is chocolates. Come on Kit Kat then I can't go past a Kit Kat. Yeah, like oh kinders Oh, yeah, dude, that's a kinders are good, but that's all chocolate if it's had to be a lollie. I'd probably go Sour straps. I love sugar-coated shit Yeah, oh like the the Alan's white chocolate covered Raspberry's Remember when Nicky used to send us those yeah, Nicky is send us some good shit But on the boys on the camping trip you Michael does these little Events where he gives us taste testers of lollies and there's these squishy lollies. You are giving us that are Unbelievable. I feel like they're lifesavers, but they're squishy lollies and they have a screen. Yeah. Oh, yeah Yeah at the moment absolute classic. Yeah, the lifesaver sticks go get them. They're very good They got like a sort of fizz flavor in the middle heroin. Oh But yeah, if you want to impress your friends Get a gun get a gun and shoot it inside Sit him down and buy like 50 bucks with a lollies and just go through different lollies at a time We should try and get a gun man. Honestly, that's fine. I've got one But it doesn't it's not like a legal one. It's like a we guys can get a license and get a right No, no, I just want to have a gun. Okay. Well. Yeah, we lost that freedom But in the 90s, you can still get a rifle they stole it, but you just got to get a lot Bless America. Sorry Next question from Pat Mahomes, what will you do if and if If Amber marrying Michael is the final big lie of the series show. Yeah, imagine that. Oh, I am just walking down the aisle You've been lied to So we are going to Bali Oh Man, that would be so sick bro. Oh, by the way, there's a lot of comments of congratulations on your Engagement. Well, thank you. There's too many to read out of all, but yeah, a lot of people do copy Engaged now Matt Engage gauge when you what's your timeline that when you think and you'll be engaged fuck off That's what like a weird parent person. Yeah, exactly. Someone who wants your best interests at heart. That's what oh, and is that you? So what we ordered in like look, let's say you Russian order bride or a Filipino bride. Would you marry her? How long would you have to be with someone got a good personality? Personality what's that mean? What's that word mean breasts in the brown vocabulary? I reckon by 40 What engaged I don't know Yeah, see if Are you gonna get the same ring I got? Yeah, the exact same one. He can't it's one of a kind. Oh, there you go I can't get it. All right. Um, next question is from Joshua Myers, would you guys ever have your parents on the podcast any of them? Yeah, but they would never come on Yeah, I don't think so. I'm pretty imagine. I'd have my I really want my dad to come on I would love to have can we get Greg on? Yeah, it's got to line them up. We should get both Greg's on and just watch two Greg's Just see what Greg's talk about a pointy. Yeah, like and just oh point it Poked him with sticks. Yeah, make him kiss skin him with yeah awesome to fuck. Yeah Would your dad fuck Greg? Oh, yeah. Have you seen your dad? Fuck? Have you walked in on Greg slamming away at miss? No, not that I know you've heard through the walls. I thought I've heard I think of her But I couldn't guarantee it if if we paid you a grand would you fuck your dad before you get there before you get there though Mums remarried obviously, but I and she doesn't know this but I have heard mom having She doesn't know that Ken in The sounds can you make them? I don't want to tell the story. It's so fucked up It's so It's but if we paid you a grand would you know? Dad have sex would you wear a dress and go and hang out with your dad? Am I just hanging out? Yeah. Yeah, you just be not you don't mention it If you don't go, what's with it? What do you mean? It's just like this is what I wear. Don't be weird. Yeah, easy grand easy God, that would be good. Oh, I'd love to watch that. I'd love to watch Greg. It'd be all confused and shit He'd probably giggle Put some lippy on Alright next question is from My god, I fucked this name up. It doesn't matter. You fucked so many. What's one more? I Feel like it's Neymar, but it could be Nemanja. Neymarja. Hey Bingress. I think my mother fuck me. So sorry I'm trying question for Marty Michael. Since you guys love tennis. What's your opinion on the great debate of who's the goat? Jokovic Federer Rafa. I can every all of them at their best Federer's got it Yeah, I wouldn't know but I'd say isn't Djokovic numbers wise the best Which is the most boring to watch but he just gets the ball back But you know the Federer lived through that Djokovic has got the highest win percentage, right? But only just but he Federer had to play through Nadal and Djokovic's prime at the same time and he played against and they kind of got in When Federer was on his decline already. So I reckon Djokovic got the best the best values Sorry, but It wasn't the question Federer is definitely fucking his one-handed backhand is sex But if you want to see a real backhand and this is what I like watching tennis players that just fucking have style Shapa Valov his backhand is one of the probably boring Backhand's just answer the question Shapa Valov. Anyway, sorry next week next question from Carrie Ridge You already you guys already have really great tattoos For example, Michael has herpes tattoos When will you guys get tattoos that looks like the ringworm in honor of all your clangs? You already has it like a ringworm type tattoo. Yeah, I got a whole ring now around my No, but they're talking about a ringworm. Yeah, what's it look like? Oh, actually it's like a it's like a circle of raised Inflamed Someone needs to draw the ringworm Then I can be like what about a worm in a ring shape eating its own tail eating its own tail Well, yeah, that's a ringworm. Yep. I've got a ring like and then we can start selling worms as rings We can freeze them freeze dry them and then people can wear worms Next question is from a G2 Christian Depending where he's from You guys should try and get sponsored by blue chew. Um, would you ever consider blue chew as a sponsor? Do you know what blue chew is boys? It makes you horny or something. It's like it's viagra in a chew Yeah, I think I've seen some other influences. Hey me. He really what he really wants to hear Marty's plug on the on the blue chew. Yeah. Yeah Imagine just doing it at the start of the podcast That would be the that's would be how we would promote every single podcast we started chewing Um, I reckon let's contact him. All right, I'll send him an email tonight at like midnight. Yeah, show me really just say hey All right Hey in the smiley face Next question is from mac brown. Um, are you boys nervous about the live show? Yeah, a little bit. I think about it every now and then the only thing that makes me worried is because it's We're quite underprepared and like like I said next week. We're gonna film episode 39 and then three days later We film the finale. So we have to Finish episode 39 and then quickly prepare for the finale and then like I don't know. There's no real rehearsing. If you're going to it. Just sorry Yeah, we're really sorry. Okay But like hey like I think I think we're gonna be fine. I reckon we just get up there and we say hey Hey, and like I'm worried that oh imagine the nervous quiet. It's hey It's my birthday. It like it would be it's so I'm gonna be so funny when we make a joke and no one laughs at it Oh, yeah, we actually we probably should no, I'd probably have a panic attack. Should we get high? No, no, I think it's a Um, I would probably have a panic attack, but like really? I don't know. Sorry Hey Next question from might crumpets When is brown gonna get out of his concrete tower and appear in more website and prank videos? Yeah, matt when are you gonna step down from the concrete throne? I know you've worked your way up all these years going up the stairs ruining other people's careers throwing other people under the bus How should we use that word a lot from people see, um, I don't know Maybe next year things will change. I don't know. What about your um relationship status? Also, maybe next year. I guess we'll find out at the finale. Won't we that's exactly correct, mate? The bachelor the bachelor brown finale will be live. I see should we talk about that? Yeah, we've had a lot of the bachelorettes pull out So at the moment we've got two locked in have we yeah, we do yeah, we do who do you have locked in? None of your fucking business mate. Wait a minute. You're changing it now What do you mean? We'll have a chat about it later. Sorry. It's two locked in So, um, yeah, matt will be making his final decision and then the winner will be living here rent-free with matt And you have two months with him have to have sex you have to have sex No, you no wonder people even if it's one of the boys that wins For two months every day All right two more to go next one is from Neil Dias straights Um the question from the podcast. Do you think cli-lai fly-lai will end up in the oxford dictionary as a word So cli-lai fly and lie. Is it not already? It's more of a um an expression it's like You know, it's like a phrase maybe we'll be in the thesaurus Maybe I think it might be in um, what's that? Um That uh, fucking um, where all the slang words are Urban dictionary. Urban dictionary. Urban dictionary. It should be in there fly-lai Yeah, can somebody put that in there some people spell it fly-lai That's funny. I like seeing it's funny. Fly-lai. So was he fly-lai All right, and the last question is from last the last question geon scion Not even trying. Yeah, some of these are hard All right, um, is there something that has ever happened off-camera that you wish you caught on camera for content? And what was it? Yes when maca was attacked by that pig that would have been the That would have been the funniest moment ever He went over to pad it and it fucking threw like went at him and he went to run knocked me down I was on all fours. Then it came for the second here. It knocked me back up onto my feet I honestly thought I was gonna die. I wasn't there, but I remember dead by a pig that pig's dead videos. Yeah. Yeah, they killed it Oh, really that pig is it killed their family dog. Oh, yeah, dude. It was aggressive I remember the videos of you and it was just coming for you constantly So funny. It was fucking terrifying. Yeah, there's been heaps of shit now early 20s Especially so much shit that I wish we filmed Yeah, because god all those nights are gone. Yeah, like I can't remember them. They're just like white from your Your days with me. Are you probably forgotten? I'm glad we filmed when we went to europe Like having that that's on the website. It was like a all the the videos and clips from It's not very like good quality footage because phones were shit back then, but yeah, I'm glad we did that too That was fun. I'm glad you did it pardon seen it Yeah, it's because um, you don't you don't support your friends Brown And that everyone is the end Yeah, you and a we will go quick present open then we'll do the prank call Yeah, we got p.i. box We got a bunch of shit from the p.i box and then we'll do a fucking quick cheeky prank call. We're done Get that box get the box matt All right, we've got a box here It's a brown cardboard box I'm just tearing into it Careful Michael What is it? Oh, it's another box Usually when things are so well wrapped it's never yeah, it's anthrax Matt has opened the box and it seems like there's dog hair inside I don't know if it's real or fake stick your fingers in there and dig around a bit I'll pour it out on the table. Oh makes me itchy just looking at it It looks like What is it matt? Yeah He's using his fingers It's Is that a wig? No, what? I don't know what that is. Is that for my head? Chilies We have to Michael. I'm fucking not touching. I'm done. We have to Michael. I did the last We got little stickers. Thank you. And we got chilies. Is it and there's a two paying there for matt Fuck that. What do they look like? Yes. They literally gave us three. There's a letter God can't Begin here. Here are the peppers chilies. I promised I grew them So if all three of you eat one that would be cool emphasis on b Um, they are dehydrated for shipping. They would mold if I didn't these chilies are only hot in german P. S. I did not frizzle my jizzle fruit in this package like my last one Oh, man. Um Glass jar. Oh glass jar of pubes and cum. Oh, he's still up here somewhere. Oh, yeah, we've still got the glass jar That's him. We've still got poo there. I forget that there's poo here on the set. These are safe to eat Love josh davis. Yo, I am. He's a yo and member Joshy I put my name and I put my name on that shake your hands clang clang much love boys. You're the best Fuck Oh rub it on your eyes. You can either rub it on your eyes or eat it. Oh, fuck Oh now i'm just not feeling it Just to be clear with my Oh man, yes No way Just put your tongue out. Yeah, I did I did and it's burning already immediate burning What goes up must come down. Let's do it. I'm not going to be able to do the prank all Maybe we do it at the end. Oh, i'm mad. It's done it. We don't have to Have some mother mclonun. He's a little mclonun Swallow it you should swallow Oh Brown is down brown is down not to the two pay matt Brown is down. He's gonna have a heart attack so many scovilles cause them through his body Impressive you did that man. I can't believe that My days are done with chillings. That's it. Dude even just put on the tongue Cut your tongue off matt with the scissors Chuggers the next package brawn lin And chuggers the scissors mclinton While brown's recovering he's gonna be doing that for a while. I reckon. It's not good. No, it's gonna get worse See later, brown Brown down Down This is We got sent oregano a herb massive beautiful dude. That is a big beautiful This is tomorrow night. We're having a sleep over here So we're going to watch an alien doc and we're going to play fortnight and you save the day Hopefully these aren't like edibles No, imagine if they were Asset they put acid drops on each one. You said like 10 drops of acid I'll just get monotone me home and just say a strap in. Yeah, I'm not coming here. Yeah I'll see you in a week Yeah, you just come good for the finale podcast And then this is my real hair You're sitting there comatose in a wheelchair just drooling for the podcast finale Is that what's that packaging? I want to thank that person. Thank you Oh They haven't got that name on but from I think they've rubbed it out, but Do you know who you are? Thank you very much for the skittles and the oregano Outstanding. We'll save them Next week. Yeah Brown still has not returned His creamy mouth is all burnt He's got ulcers all over his fat tongue Yeah, sorry, we couldn't do it dude. We just we kind of did it. Oh, I licked it But like a fucking I can't do chilies anymore. I gotta do the prank call. I can't be fucked for the prank call Yeah, and that's my excuse. I just don't do chilies anymore brown is the chili boy Yeah, I'll rip a toenail off and eat dog shit and You know super glue my arse cheeks together and pop grapes. I'll kill someone if you want me to I'll kill someone We tried once I honestly thought I was like, oh, we're gonna jail. This is the story. I should have killed him. Yeah from Podcasts Matt. We got sent skittles and um oregano oregano A big beautiful What is Soca, um All right, finally it is now time No, I'll save them It is now time For this week's prank call. Oh my god. Look at that. He's so stunning so stunning All right, I'm gonna call a vegan restaurant as Arnold fine and try and sell them my pig For their menu and be outraged When they don't Yeah, just be really like down about how you're not eating meat Oh, you do not do what you mean. You get sick like my wife. She not eat meat for weeks Pig react to smell Hello, thank you for calling But how can I help you? Oh, hello, uh my name Arnold fine My wife, uh, she come in two day ago. She buy, um perfume it to call a droop You know a droop If he had the droop, did you uh, did she buy it from my Yes, uh That's what she said to me. Yeah, we had that my droop as well But now we don't have any at all. Yeah. No, I say we I have a droop at home, but I I spray, um on me and uh the family pet pick and it have a huge reaction On the pick the pig rash harsh harsh rash It cracked the skin. Uh the pig very uncomfortable and What in the droop to make my pig sick? You mean you have some skin rash with that perfume Not to me, but uh my family pick, uh, it's a pet pick We have um, I spray the droop And the picker run round, uh, it flick around in the backyard and make a sound And uh, then a rash come and it try lick it try lick the rash But it cannot reach. I do not know what to do here. I I wash I wash the pick in shower But uh, it's just a flick around it to flick around make funny sound. Uh, I'd never see before Sorry, I can't get you. So you mean that the perfume has some issue Yes, I spray perfume on my pet pick. Okay. My pet pick. Yep. Get a huge rash harsh dry rash And my wife is Sick. Yeah, so she can just bring the receipt And if it will any problems with that, we can fix it up. Okay. Okay. I Receipt I say but But my pick okay, my pick is a have a rash So what I use to put Yes, my pick has a rash where I spray this gloopy-joopy Okay, it's a rash on pick. So, uh, Receipt not a clear rash from pick. So what I use here, huh? Sorry, um, um You mean the pick has a scheme rash. Yes, my pick have a huge harsh rash On it a side where I spray Dajou On your body and you pick up the peak and then that it happened to the peak Yeah, no, I spray directly on pick. Okay. The pick a smell You spray it on the peak. Yes, I always spray pick where I spray, uh, links Uh, links deodorant. All right. Sometimes I use, uh, soap Okay, but uh, jub now have harsh rash and the pig skin Same as her human skin. It's a same a thing a same animal Well, we are not Using these her products to the animals because the animals have different reactions Volva, are you not a test on a pick? Maybe you should have a Like, you know, even though when you're purchasing something No, no, no, no, you need warning when you go to the pet shop There is some shampoo or any different product for the warning on the on the you need Warning on the droop. Okay. Do not use on a pick Because now my pick, uh, run round screaming, uh, for my wife's Help It's a saying it is screaming help. You understand the screaming help It is screaming Sorry, I can't pick up you properly But as I mentioned, like, you know, unfortunately we can't do anything about it So you sell me You sell me poison You sell me poison and now you say you cannot help me That's a snack behind you darling. That's a snack to me Well, listen, okay, but uh, you know, I am very upset right now I was waiting for gloob jub shit That was rough today. I don't want to fucking die. I was I was I loved that one I fuck Arnold's a great bloke and honestly, dude And they should put warnings on things like I don't I want you can Arnold be There for half of the day at my wedding All right, as long as I can bring up his pig I would love to just I want Arnold fine to do a speech at my wedding Okay, we'll talk about it I'm married to schnicks Oh, fucking hell. That's a good shit Crazy, man. All right, we got fucking two episodes to go everyone. So strap your shit in because fuck me Finale, let's let's just give it our all for episode 39 and 40 boys It's home stretch and we'll try and do a episode over the holidays too Maybe during the boys' trip we'll just come in here and film something There's still a Christmas special Yeah, yeah, baby I'm not saying shit It's nine o'clock man. It's been a long day. It's been 12 hours Anyway, we fucking give us five star review spotify like subscribe and buy athletic greens and shit, man Fucking hell, bro. Yeah, if you could honestly subscribe to that athletic greens that would fucking help us out so hard I'm serious. Plus it's health. It's time to invest in your health. Shut up. We're done We're the best. We're the best. We're the best and we're all going to chant this together on the live We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best Best best so get used to it. Okay, because that's happening now Don't forget to everyone Matt will be there as well. So make sure you always look at Matt Mostly be looking at Matt. Why? Why are we looking at me the most? This is your time. This is your time to shine