 Don't let the narcissist distract you. These narcissists from the moment they devalue you They really want to occupy your mind because When they've hurt you and you stop validating their false self You begin to occupy their minds It develops into an obsession But they can't stop thinking about you. It's like first thing in the morning When they wake up When they're at work and last thing they bought before they go to sleep All they're thinking about is you They can't get you off their minds Because you invalidated their false self and you shouldn't blame yourself for that. I mean you know the false self is false and If you're anything like me You don't want to live in a fake world You don't want to pretend or so The truth doesn't exist Because then that's not really living is it so don't blame yourself for that You're doing the right thing by not validating their false self but naturally when you do that it will trigger a narcissistic injury and It may develop in an obsession for them, but the thing is with these narcissists is When they get hooked on you They want to get you hooked on them. They want to make it so that you can't stop thinking about them. One of the main goals is To get you attached to them While they're not attached to you That's one of their main goals But you cannot let them distract you From your path and your purpose You've got to stay focused in your goals on your mission in life and if you've spent so much time around the narcissist What you no longer have a mission of your own And you've got to find one You've got to figure out what your purpose in life is What are you here to do Are you here to help or inspire people I? Think we are all here to provide some kind of service to other people so if you have spent so much time around the narcissist where you don't know what your purpose is and You're going for the devaluation or discard phase. I Think now is a time that you find out Because once you go for the devaluation phase The narcissist is going to do whatever they can to get you hooked on them To the point where you can't stop thinking about them They want you to develop an obsession Because if you've seen their behaviors You're going to know they're clearly obsessed with you And so They don't want to feel Alone in their psychosis and their insanity They will try and pull you into it and get you hooked on them as well and If you observe them, you'll realize that One of the main reasons why they're so hooked on you is because they don't even have a life They've got nothing going on in their own lives Everything just seems to revolve around you and what you're doing or what you're thinking about them They are very self-conscious people They're always looking at themselves and wondering what other people thinking about them One of their main focuses is Their image and reputation And so they're trying to get you to think about that too about yourself About how you're portraying yourself to other people. They're trying to get you to be self-conscious They're trying to get you to think if they like you if you're good enough When you shouldn't be worried about any of that All you need to worry about is your own path and purpose Focus on your own life how people perceive us usually has more to do with them anyway and If you've stumbled on my videos the chances are You probably do have codependency traits You may be a people pleaser so You know, I definitely want to get this message across in this video Like you don't need to be trying to please the narcissist anymore. I'm sure you tried enough To get them to validate you and it never works They just keep you chasing after their validation and that's all it's ever gonna be They just want to keep you running on their hamster wheel but instead of doing that Your time could be better spent Focusing on your own path and a purpose in life Focus on what you are here to do. Are you here to? To serve other people To provide something to them to help them That's what you've got to focus on Instead of letting the narcissist distract you and taking you off your destined path They will do whatever it takes to distract you They'll try and get you all emotional They might triangulate you with someone else Try and get you really anxious Wondering about what they might be doing with this other person You might start comparing yourself to them thinking Maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe this person is better than me And they want that they want you to have all these thoughts go around in your head Thinking that you're not enough Or they might go around Talking to other people about you gossiping spend rumors They just want you to set awake at night Wondering what they're doing Wondering what they're gonna do next Distracting you from your life And then before you know it you can't get any sleep You're staying awake all night And then when you wake up in the morning You're not productive You're not doing anything good to improve your life It's like your thoughts just constantly revolve around the narcissist And that is no good for you It's not gonna help you. It's not gonna solve anything It's just gonna make things a lot worse, but that's exactly what they want you to do They want you to spend all of your time and attention focusing on them They want you to distract yourself from your own life Because when you think about it, that's what you end up doing They might distract you in the beginning, but then At some point they can just walk away and leave you to it Where you're just constantly distracting yourself You're just finishing the job So you have to observe yourself and your own behaviours as well You have to check that You are Motivated And focused on Improving yourself and your own life Don't let these people distract you Seriously, these people have no life And that's why Their main purpose in life Is to distract you Because they've got nothing else to do If they did, they'd probably be doing that The way to look at it is They clearly think That their time is better spent On distracting you Rather than focusing on their own lives And if someone really Thinks that their Time is better spent on that Why would you value anything they say? Because if someone really Values their own opinions and beliefs And they value their own time And they value themselves They're probably going to be spending their time On their own lives Because they value it, they value their time They value their lives These people don't And that's why They will often spend Their lives Focused on someone Who is just trying to focus on their own life That's the sad reality of it So yeah, don't let them distract you Focus on your own life, focus on your own purpose Don't let them Occupy any space In your mind Get out into nature Go to the beach Go for a walk in a forest Down by a lake Whatever it takes to reset yourself I did a live video earlier The first live video on the Spiritual Secrets channel, so Please check that out If you go on The Narc Survivor channel page Just click on the Community tab And you'll see at the top there It'll give you a link to the The Spiritual Secrets channel Where you can then find the live video I've just been checking out this castle here Anthony says My knock hit a mic in my car Yes They will, you know, they will, there's no depths Because you've got to understand this narcissism It's A mental illness It's a disorder These people Some of the things they do, it's just Insanity I feel plenty of stories where They will hide Microphones Cameras In your home, even if they're not living there And as you know, I've experienced that myself It's actually become more and more common now with technology It's so cheap to get these tiny pinhole cameras These tiny microphones And put them wherever you want In someone's car, in someone's home And that's exactly What many narcissists are doing And of course it is against the law It is punishable by up to many years in prison But of course, narcissists do not care They feel entitled to all of your time They feel entitled to do whatever they want to do And Really, they couldn't give a shit about how it affects you It's as simple as that You would be amazed If you knew everything That the narcissist is doing behind the scenes Things you can't even imagine You think you know a lot about them You think you know most of what they're doing But I can tell you honestly What you think you know About the narcissist in your life Is only the tip of the iceberg If you knew everything You would be so shocked You wouldn't be able to believe it These people are really sick You can't even imagine Some of the things that they will do Anyway As I said, you know, just get out into nature Find your peace Take some time away from These narcissists It's what life is about, you know, just Enjoying yourself, having a good time Not being constantly stressed About what these crazy narcissists are gonna do next They're always gonna be doing something Whether you're worrying about it or not So you might as well just take some time out And not worry about it so much And just spend some time on yourself Being happy, enjoying life Thank you all for joining this live with me today Got some premiers Starting in about an hour and a half So I hope you can join me there And If you haven't already Check out the new website www.narchsurvivor.uk I've got plenty of blog articles on there for you to read And you can book coaching sessions And join our new support forum as well So if you enjoy Talking to other survivors In the live chat or In the comment section We now have A support forum where you can do that And you can share your knowledge and experience with other survivors I think it's gonna be a great community We just need to get more people on there now so Do check that out www.narchsurvivor.uk Thank you all for joining the live And I'll see you all in the Premier in about 90 minutes