 So, when I was preparing for this video, I decided to Google what other people think is attractive for women that turn on men. And I thought it was very fascinating. Some of the comments or some of the blogs that I read were all centered around hyper-focusing on looks as a way to be highly attractive to men. And so, things like wear red, smootch your lips, smell nice, dress sexy, all these things to entice men. And I thought it's so sad that many of the articles, and they were actually written by women, which fascinated me, were all hyper-focused on looks. And not what I think is the more important aspects of a relationship, and that's hard. And that's partly, I think, due to the fact, I think one of the real challenges today when it comes to dating, mating, or relating is a lack of commitment, a lack of commitment. And I'll explain that in a moment. Why I'm bringing this up, because when you think about these articles that were hyper-focused on the physical attributes of a relationship, it seems to me that there's this hyper-focus on pleasure and more so individual pleasure. I'm going to repeat that. There's a hyper-focus on pleasure and, more importantly, individual pleasure. So, and I said a moment, what seems like is missing today is a lack of commitment. And I don't mean that two people meet for the first time, and they should be, you know, tied at the hip, like they're committed to one another. I'm really talking about a commitment to exploring a relationship from a place of what you can give instead of what you can get, or worse, what you can give instead of what is missing inside of you that needs to be gotten. You know, when I think of that, I think of the Jerry Maguire line, you know, you complete me. In other words, there's something missing inside me, and I need you to fill that so I can feel good about myself. In fact, sadly here in the United States, we are suckling on the nipple of the need for constant validation, and I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. It's all individualized in the need, and this is true for men and women alike. Look, ladies, I know I throw men under the bus frequently, and I also throw you under the bus as well. And what I mean by throwing you under the bus is to call attention that women are just as bad at this process as men. And that's because, sadly, the number one emotional health issue facing most everybody deep down, whether it seems like it's there or not, is I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable, and I'm not likeable. And nothing triggers this wound like the dating process, especially today when we're meeting total strangers for the most part, and that need to feel some sense of connection from somebody else is because when somebody is a stranger, we feel tremendous doubt. And the minute you begin to like someone, and yet they're a total stranger, we need this almost this constant need for validation, these constant text messaging to know that this person is legitimate. And that puts so much pressure on forming a relationship that it can either come across as too overbearing, it can come across as desperate, it can come across as needy, and this is true of men and women alike. And so it's no wonder that dating marketplace is a clusterfuck right now because of the fact that we're meeting total strangers and there's a real lack of commitment to wanting to explore a genuine relationship with people because there's more. So remember I said you complete me that hole that's inside someone, that Jerry Maguire line. What's needing to complete is that there's this peace with inside so many of us, especially those of us in midlife who have gone through a divorce and roughly about 75% of singles who are in midlife over 45 years old are divorced and there's this unraveling of the tapestry of your old life. And then there's this there's need to connect with someone else. So so many people are desperate internally for a sense of connection with another human being. And along with connection, you want a little bit of companionship to do something with somebody. And in addition to that, there's this desire to be physically intimate. So what I'm really expressing here, there's this dysfunctionality within our our peer group, if you will, from our mating peer group of the need for companionship connection and sex and what yet is missing is this piece of commitment. And what I mean by commitment, I'm also meaning trust is do I can I count on this person to care about my feelings as much as my own? Are we committed to looking out for the other person? Think about that for a moment. Are we committed to looking out for the other person that we don't actually hurt somebody but are by our own dysfunctionality? Look, many of you know I'm your big brother. If I could be there on a first date, I'd have the shotgun out pointed that the guys face and I'd say, what's your intentions with my little sister? Why would I do that? It's because I know that someone else's nativity, ambivalence, arrogance could affect another person's emotional well-being. And most importantly that am not ambivalence, but that that I said, nativity, but that that oblivion to that your actions actually could have consequences on another. Why do you think we are suffering a huge mental health crisis these days? And let me reframe that on emotional mental health crisis. I think we have something like 50, 60 million singles in the United States. That number might even be higher. That might be even a hundred million for all I know and someone Google that real quick. Think about that. And one of the importance of being mated to someone really mated from a healthy place is it provides stability in our lives. And so when we're we're searching to fill that gap within us, it oftentimes takes us away from the more important things we need to do in our lives, which is actually heal that wound of not being good enough, not being lovable and not be likable. This is why folks, I wrote my book, what the heck is self love anyway, a journey of personal development, self health and spiritual work. By the way, there's a link below to get a copy of my book. Well, I'm sure it look at my book is very remedial. Let me be clear. It's a simple guide to beginning to love on yourself. It is not an in depth guide. This is why I continually recommend things like the Hoffman process insight seminars. Just to name a few. Because if we can't heal that wound inside of us, at least begin the process of healing that wound inside of us, how can we ever be truly attractive, wildly attractive to another human being? So many women, by the way, right now you see a link to a free call with me. That's a free discovery call to see if working with a coach is right for you. My job is to help you do a better job of vetting men. Okay, that's just one piece of the puzzle. What's the more important piece is actually being in an empowered place in your life. Because sadly women give their power away to men. You do this habitually. It's one of your gifts and yet it's one of your weaknesses in life is that you're there's this. There's this fantasy belief that all you have to do is sit back in your feminine energy and that guy is going to claim you because all you're doing is nothing. What? How is that being empowered? Listen, I'm all for leaning into your sovereignty, your self-worth, your self-esteem, your self-confidence. I am a big proponent of every human being. It doesn't matter if you have a penis or a vagina or a combination of both for all I know. What matters most is stepping into your empowerment. And as I said a moment ago, ladies, you have this a beautiful capacity to love and at the same time you leave the relationship you leave your relationship destiny up to men and I'm here to say you're giving the job to the wrong person. You are in charge of your relationship destiny. That's why I continually recommend this book and I don't love every aspect of this book. There's some game playing in here, but I love the empowerment aspect of why men love bitches and bitches stands for babe in total control of herself. Yes. Ladies. It's incumbent upon you to take charge of your destiny. Look, there are a lot of good men out there. There really are. Sadly, you reject a lot of good men because they lack edge. Let me repeat that. They're nice guys, but they lack the edge that you desire and that edge is oftentimes the the biggest problem of all is because you're addicted to the to the dysfunctional human being. And all you're going to do is down go down a rabbit hole of this again and again and again. This is why folks, I continually recommend reading two books over. I recommend. Why do I do this? Why do I recommend books? Books are just an entry way, but I recommend these two books get attached and getting the love you want by a mere Levine and Rachel Heller. Why do I recommend these books is because when you understand your patterning of choosing the wrong guy over and over and over and over and over and over again. What's the definition of insanity? Doing the same things over again and expecting different results. So look it. There are good men out there. There's a lot of fucked up guys out there too. There really are. I'm sorry. That's just the knit. We've got to accept that there is a higher percentage of chance that you're going to meet the wrong guy than the right guy. This is why first you have to become the right person within yourself or at least begin the process of that happening. And then do a better job of vetting these guys because if you want that guy who's highly attractive wildly attractive to you. You've got to become that person. So in a moment, I'm going to share what I think in my notes bump bump bump what I think are for feminine habits men find wildly attractive and I'm talking about men who are not overly dysfunctional. I'm talking about the guys that have their act together that do some introspective work. Maybe they're not perfect guys, but they're not complete boneheads and let me just get let me find my chart. Where is it? Okay, listen, you know my chart. It's not a fact. It's merely an opinion roughly 20% of the population men and women alike have clinical issues. This is emotional maturity and relationship skills. And while I say 20% are healthy, most everybody is dysfunctional myself included. I've got dysfunctionality, but I'm moving closer to that this end. So there are guys in this category. And when you can step into your empowerment, you have a greater chance of meeting these types of guys versus those dysfunctional clinical type of guys. And what I mean by clinical is, you know, the type of listen, not everybody who has clinical issues is incapable of being in a relationship. I think there are plenty of people that have clinical issues that are seeking care and they have a capacity to be in a relationship, but that's because they're actually doing some work. And yet many of you are delusional to your own need for work. And I say this because I was, I was in a fog and a delusion thinking, oh, I've just got my shit together and I've just got my act together. It takes more than that. All right. So I'm going to tell you what I think is highly attractive. This is the world according to Jonathan. This is what I think my girlfriend represents. There's a picture of us on our first date. That was in Chicago. I'm happy to say I'm in a juicy, delicious, healthy, happy relationship. I'm excited because listen, I could have come up with 20 different things. I come to come up with three things. These were the three things. These were the four things that actually is what some of some of the many things I appreciate about my partner. And I'll even throw in, there's one superficial thing in here, but what number one, what I think is highly attractive is a woman who is what I call chill and agreeable. Chill and agreeable. You know, prior to meeting her, I went on so many dates where I swear to God, women showed up on the date with what's known as resting bitch face. I mean, let me do that again. I mean, literally the attitude and the expression was so walled and so just so closed off. There was a lack of receptivity with these women and what I noticed about my partner is she's just chill. She's go with the flow. She's not, there's not this power struggle and not because I'm leading the process per se. It's just, she's just a chill personality, easy going and yet so many women have a bug up their butt. Now, some of you probably going, well, Jonathan, I'm chill and agreeable, but are you really? Do you make it easy to date someone? I got to tell you when we planned our date, she was like, no problem. Sounds good. Easy. It wasn't. Well, I've got this thing going on. I've got this thing going. I've got a yoga class and I've got to drop off my car to get the air fluid, excuse me, the windshield wiper fluid refilled. I just made that up by the way, but I meant like it's like easy to meet. So many of you make it so hard to meet. That is no wonder your budding heads with guys. So make it easy, chill, be agreeable without being a doormat. Let me repeat that without being a doormat because a babe in total control of herself never operates from doormat energy. So chill and agreeable. Number two, she has her act together. Listen, I recognize many of us have been hit with hard times. Certainly COVID didn't make life simple and there could be some things going on in one's life. There could be child rearing things going on. There could be family members and such just to name a few your professional capacity, whatever it is, but ultimately you have to ask yourself, do your problems have a grasp on you or do you have a grasp on your problems? Because the reality is we all have stuff in our lives, but does that stuff take control of your life? I know many of you. By the way, before I go any further, let me repeat this. Men are no picnic either. Okay, I will throw men under the bus just as much as women. Okay, so this is not just a criticism of women. This is a recognition of what I've observed out there and if you want to improve your chances with men. Not the way I'm drinking a green drink. Interesting. So having your act together, that is wildly attractive to a guy that's not looking. Okay, some men are looking for women who are projects and some men are enablers. That's not the guy I'm talking about. I'm talking about the guy that also has his act together. What's wildly attractive to him is a woman who has his act together. Okay. I think that kind of speaks for itself. Number three, you know what these days sense of humor seems to be so there. It's repressed and suppressed these days. You know, I think couples on their first date should go to a comedy club just to see how humor comes out because humor represents play and what I'm really saying with humor. I'm really talking about that playful side of you that looks at life. Look at I use humor because if any of you have ever done a mushroom journey, one of the things the medicine does and I'm a big proponent of plant based medicine to explore your spiritual side. I call it the laughing medicine and why I do that is you laugh at the absurdity of life. You laugh at the absurdity of the chaos that's going on instead of being repressed in the or depressed and repressed by the chaos in the world. You look at the chaos in the world and you laugh because isn't it absolutely insane? You know, I went to go pick up. Okay. Let me give you an example of insanity. I went to go pick up a prescription of medicine yesterday and the pharmacy wanted seven hundred dollars. Now I was shocked because the previous price I paid the few months before was a hundred dollars for this medicine and I and she goes, you got to call your insurance company. I'm like, okay. I know I'm going off on a tangent. Let me say this one. So I finally get the insurance company. They transferred me back to a pharmacy and you know what the pharmacist said? Have you ever thought about using a good RX card? So I'm like, okay. So I googled good RX and I found the same medicine for twenty three dollars. Is that fucking insane? And as angry as I am, I laugh at the absurdity. So coming back to what's highly and wildly attractive is humor, play and understanding the absurdity of the world and even the dating process is absolutely absurd. I don't want you to compromise yourself in this laughter, but the same time having a sense of humor to it all actually affords you an opportunity to be incredibly attractive to a person. And number four, some of you might disagree with this, but I twisted this a little bit and I think what's highly attractive in a woman is a woman who loves sex and has standards. A woman who loves sex and has standards these days. Do you know what? It's so easy for men to get sex from women without any level of commitment. And remember, I said earlier what's missing in the dating marketplace today is a level of commitment by having a standard by loving sex and having a standard, I think is highly attractive to that emotionally mature grown up man that you all seek to desire. But if your standards are low and if you're a sourpuss when it comes to sex, that's not very attractive. Even if the way you I'm sorry, this is going to sound like a judgment, but I look at dating profiles where women are absolutely flaunting their asset of their physicality and then they wonder why men only want sex with them. Set a standard for yourself and be that individual that radiates that internal desire for sex, but without exploiting it in such a way or setting your standard too low that you'll have sex with men whom you barely know. Look at I might sound like a Puritan, but I said before I'm your big brother, I would rather you choose better men and take a little time to get to know a guy. This is why I highly recommend before you're physically intimate with a guy before the penis goes inside the vagina. Read the book eight dates by doctors. Julie John doctors. John and Julie Gottman, John Gottman and Julie Gottman. Chapter one is about commitment and trust. Read that together as you explore getting to know one another and I only recommend those for the women who are dating men who are oblivious to the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship. I happen to study this stuff and there are other men that study this too. I will tell you I have women who write me continually say, Jonathan, I'm reading the book with the guy and it's making such a difference because it's allowing us to connect at a more heart centered level. So that's my invitation for you all is to do that. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know. All right. I think that covers the four feminine habits that men find wildly attractive. I think we're going to jump into the Q&A portion of our live stream tonight. So if you have a question for me, write the word question and post the question there after or purchase a super sticker super chat. There's a little dollar sign in the chat box or if you're listening to the replay, there's a super thanks all the monies from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor Asley. That's a picture of Salty right there. He's my son who passed away a few years ago in his honor. I donate monies to like insight seminars in the Hoffman process. So if you have a question for me, write the word question and post the question there after. All right. I think it's time to jump in. Do you have a question for me? Post that question down below. Let's go through the board and see what we've got so far. Rula says, what are your current? What are your current 20 22 thoughts on long distance relationships? Well, that's an interesting one because folks, you know, I met a woman. It's a long distance relationship. Actually, I don't really consider it a long distance relationship and let me explain why before we agreed to exploring this relationship after we first met. I was completely convinced that she was open to moving to Los Angeles from Chicago. She grew up here in Los Angeles. She has family here in Los Angeles. She has many friends. In fact, a good friend of hers lived literally 500 yards away from me. So I was completely convinced first that she would agree to move here. Otherwise, I wouldn't have explored the relationship. Why? Because then it was just a matter of time and we made a point to in a in literally in a three month period of time, we actually physically spent 40 days together out of 90 days. Let me repeat that 40 days together out of 90 days. That's a lot of time. She came to visit me for two weeks of the time and I went to go visit her. In fact, I'm heading off to Chicago next week. So, okay, so now coming back to long distance relationships. I would not agree to explore any long distance relationship unless there is a plan to take that distance and shorten the gap together. I wouldn't invest in time. Meeting someone for the first time, you can do that, but be careful for first time meetings because a lot of times they're sex oriented and then you never see the person again. And remember, I said about the standard around sex, so I would be highly suspect. So again, that's my opinion on long distance relationship. Only agree to explore it if there's an agreement to shorten the gap of the distance. All right. That's my two cents. Anyway, thank you so much for the question. All right. Cecilia question. I'm a giver. How do I get my daily love letter fix and gift giving as an anxious attachment style? Well, a giver doesn't work from the opera up. Okay. A giver doesn't operate from a give to get you chose the word. How do I get my daily love letter fix? How about how about how is your just daily love lever giving love letter giving? If you operate from a give to get you're already setting yourself up for failure. Just give love. If you're misaligned from each other, that's a different story. If your love languages are different, then maybe purchase the book. The five love languages, the five love languages by Gary Chapman. All the books I recommend are in the description below. But the other thing I would invite you to do is have a conversation with your partner and say this, what can we can we ask each other the following same question? What needs do you have in this relationship? That I'm not meeting for you. What needs do you have in this relationship? That I'm not meeting for you. I'll repeat that. What needs do you have in this relationship that I'm not or let me reframe the word needs. What desires do you have in this relationship that I'm not meeting for you? You could simply say I would really something. I really would want not need but want. Is an occasional love letter from you or can it be a simple text message? It could be a kiss emoji something that's sweet and loving that would make I would feel really good if you could do that. What could I do to make you feel more desired in this relationship? So you do it mutually for each other. I think that's a better approach than operating I give to get because we are a lot of ladies you are suckling on the nipple is if you give give give give you're waiting to get get get get get and that's not unconditional love. That's conditional love. So that's my two cents on that Celia. Thank you so much for your question. I really appreciate it. Gorni Cobb has a personal question for me. Considering your spirituality in your book recommendation such as the Buddha dated. Have you ever considered vegetarianism or veganism? No, I have not. I love red meat and I'm not going to change. That's my two cents on it. I don't need to expand upon that anymore. I just happen to be a carnivore just like my ancestors. I am a lion. I'm a Leo. So I'm a lion and that's what my ancestors were. I was once a lion. All right. Thank you. Gorni Cobb for that question. Ru says thank you for answering my question. I really appreciate your very welcome. Brenda says is romance an illusion? Being romantic is just an expression of love in my opinion. Expecting romance to convince you to love someone or to to convince someone to love you or to feel love from romance. That's an illusion because it's unsustainable. I think being romantic. Look at every relationship every to every healthy happy relationship typically has the three A's the three A's attention affection and appreciation. Let me repeat that attention affection and appreciation. So when a relationship has that it's less likely that's that to me is romance. You know it's doing the little things that makes you appreciate another person and yet sadly we so expecting grandiose I expect to be treated so fantastic on Valentine's Day. Quite frankly you know I am so grateful because my partner we both aren't really big gift givers gifts in the five love languages isn't our our primary love language it's actually last on the list and we both said you know our gift to each other is to invest each month in a travel fund. And next year we have four trips planned we're we're doing the Panama Canal in January we're going to the Mediterranean September and well we don't have four trips right now we have three trips plan because there's a good chance we might be going to Antarctica we'll see what happens with that one so that's that to me is romantic investing in your travel fund together that to me is romance anyway my romance anyway thanks for your question I really appreciate it. Susan says question do you get jealous and how do you handle it. I don't get jealous because my philosophy is if I'm having sex with you on a regular basis I'm getting my needs met if my needs are getting met in the relationship if my girlfriend talked to a guy what the fuck do I care I'm the one that's going to go home and sleep with her he's not that's my attitude. By the way I'm a horny bastard folks so yes I'm going to admit that I love sex okay and when I'm when you're in a healthy happy sexual relationship with one another you know what why should I get jealous if she talked to somebody else you know now if there's deficiencies in our relationship well then there's something that needs to be worked on so there's no need to go elsewhere to get that need met and I'm conscious enough to be to invest in the relationship in such a way that I'm not worried about that so I hope I answered your question Susan thank you so much for it. Rissa or list says I was in a long distance for five months moved to a city and country and moved in with him knew I wanted to leave after the first week. Well do a better job vetting a person that's why with my girlfriend I we literally we the first visit was four days two weeks later she came for 12 days two weeks later she came for three weeks then I went out a week later to visit her for a week we spent a lot of time together more caught by the way I think everybody should be okay you're going to love this one. It's a new thought I have. I think everybody okay if you decide the two people are going to explore a relationship together you have to be locked in a room together for one solid month and I mean in a home together. One solid month figuring out how you're going to make this work. By the way ever by the way most people will tell you traveling with another person will give you insight into how they would be as a living with them. So rather you know that's why I'm grateful my girlfriend I traveled together we got that we really traveled well together so anyway I'm sorry you experienced that list thank you so much for sharing. All right what else do we have oh my God we have a lot. Bump bump bump bump let's go swimming. Let's says what kind of wine do you like with your filet mignon I do not like filet mignon I like rib I steak and I usually I'm a big Pino fan more than anything okay. Jennifer do you think religion is an issue with dating I find it hard enough to meet the right partner and put a spirituality on my dating profile. So I think that's a great question Jennifer. I think if you are a person that's an atheist and you're dating a person that goes to Bible study every day of the week and twice on Sunday there might be some problems with that relationship okay. I think extreme views on religion are probably problematic but the reality is is most people are relatively centric when it comes their religion and yet the people that are devout probably need someone who's devout as well and a person who is probably a bit benign on religion probably is better served with someone else who's benign on religion so it's the extremes you need to worry about and that's my two cents on that one so thank you so much. I want to thank Cecilia for the taller 99 super sticker I really appreciate it Terry Logan writes question I'm in an I'm in an odd and we talked and met on Skype and discussed all our wants about the future but now after meeting he says he needs time for folks folks dating through these devices as my friend Mac says it's not real until it's real folks unless you're spending three or four days and nights a week together doing shared activities hobbies mutual interest spending time with family and friends traveling together teamwork building skills both in your personal and professional life unless you're spending up a lot of time together once or twice a week over a period of time you're never really going to get to you cannot get to know someone over the telephone you don't get you don't you only get to know people through the doing of things when are folks going to get this through your fucking thick ads men don't bond through the telephone we get horny through the phone will have phone sex with you love sex when we meet you but we don't bond unless we're doing activities with you for the most part and I'm talking about emotionally healthy men emotionally dysfunctional men the sky's the limit of how fucked up your experience will be folks you have to do things together don't invest time with someone unless you're physically seeing each other a couple times a week and see each other a couple times a week over a six week period you need to get at least ten to ten face-to-face meetings and you need a hundred hours of face-to-face time just to build the first layer of trust I'm yelling because you guys don't seem to get this you know I wish I could be every one of yours parent and you were growing up because I would have sat you down at age four and every year giving you a dissertation of what to expect in the dating marketplace so you don't act so so ignorant let's stop yelling let's stop yelling thank you so much and I'm sorry I got on your case Terry Cecilia says thanks Jonathan I was giving and you're right the guy like the gifts I gave him as his main love language but I like to give words and he didn't like that much in writing okay good to know Gina says you mentioned you're a Leo how much merit do you put into horoscopes I don't know I have mixed feelings on a horoscope so I can take it or leave it Antarctica sounds dangerous please be safe okay thank you all right Barbara's in the house question guy I dated wants to be friends how do you connect with a guy who wants to be friends without making him nervous how do you share with him your day without being annoying well folks if you're looking for a healthy happy relationship how many male friends do you need in your life just curious and are you going to be friends let's let's just say you're friends with this person and all of a sudden you meet the love of your life will you still be friends with this person are you going to still like to me building a friendship is a big investment of time energy and resources of emotional resources so why are you doing it why is he doing it folks I'd rather you put all your energy into working on working on oneself emotionally and then become a magnetic attractor for the right partner in your life because how many of these friends are going to be in your life when you meet that partner it's just a question I have all right that's my two cents on that thanks Barbara Cecilia again do you know of a book written by relationship aggressive I'm no I don't know that book sorry about that that's a question is it best to ask the guy what his love languages are trying to figure it out myself I'd say both do there's a if you can go to the go to five love languages dot com and take the test together that would be my suggestion before the penis ever goes inside the vagina Jerry says how do you deal with someone who has to think about our relationship when their issues arise remember I started this conversation what's missing today is a level of commitment how committed listen the guys committed to wanting to have your vagina on a regular basis how committed is he to working through problems folks the reason why I recommend reading the book eight dates by doctors John and Julie Gottman is if you go to hold on chapter two agree oops agree to disagree addressing conflicts folks if you don't know conflict resolution skills is one of the fundamentals for relate for relationship success but somebody needs to think about it how committed are they to the relationship if they're not committed to working through problems it's just my two cents anyway let's keep swimming chaos says if after three or four dates you can tell if a guy likes you is it all right to be direct and ask them if they're interested or not it seems kind of awkward and desperate to ask you know I'm a big proponent of radical honesty laying your cards on the table because by the way you all know I wrote a book chapter one my book is called what the heck a self love anyway chapter one speak your truth chapter nine if it's sincere and from the heart you can't say the wrong thing to the right person if he's the right person he's going to lean into it have radical honesty lay your cards on the table stop being so benign you guys mostly are dating like this how's your day going did you have a good day I hope you had a good day my favorite meme right here I hate small talk I want to talk about Adam's death alien sex magic intellect the meaning of life far away galaxies music that makes you feel different memories the lies you've told the lies you told flaws your favorite set your childhood what keeps you up at night your insecurity and fears I like people with death who speak with emotion from a twisted mind I don't want to know what's up folks don't be afraid to have deeper radical honesty type of questions this is why I highly recommend reading the book emotional intimacy by Robert Masters so you can get a better sense of your own level of emotional acuity you've got nothing to lose except the wrong person that's my invitation anyway uh let's see question from corny cop is a bad sign if my boyfriend spends a lot of money lot more money read readily than me he keeps buying rotisserie chicken meals and it's driving me insane you ask me a more serious question come on is it a bad sign that you're asking this question let's ask him what he thinks of your question that's what I want you to do I want you to ask him I want you to cut and paste this and ask him this question and see what he thinks if it's a bad sign you're asking this question corny cop I'm being a little bit tongue-in-cheek all right who Renee says I just ordered emotional indices I'm so excited let's see is he answering these questions from a live chat or from somewhere else no I am doing it from the place I'm almost always doing it all right let's see you know I've got to get going I've got a dentist appointment shortly Jamie says the sky is the limit of how fucked up things can be keep calm John you are right I am laughing at the absurdity of the insanity of human behavior human beings absolutely listen there's a little kid inside of us that all feel unloved not likeable not good enough and that's sad that's not something to laugh about that is sad true love true unconditional love recognizes that human beings are hurting and at the same time we act as little children when it comes to the dating experience so yes I yell sometimes I draw attention to the absurdity but what's most important is a genuine focus on putting the oxygen mask on yourself first and not hyper focusing on men God universe spirit I invite genuine love in my life first I invite that love within myself that embodies love and I can express myself in a healthy happy way to another human being and when I'm and because of this I put the work in to be ready for a healthy happy relationship where you have mutual chemistry with one another where our communication can go on for hours and hours of the time from a healthy place and we can blend lives together we're emotionally mature to build the deep roots of trust that can sustain a healthy happy relationship God universe spirit I invite in that love with first inviting that love into myself and so I will date myself as I'm preparing to attract an amazing partner in my life God universe spirit I invite that in thank you so much I invite you all to invite deeper love in your life because it is through that expression you have a greater chance for attracting a beautiful partner in your life and my hope is you all attract that in and let me just say this they're amazing beautiful men out there for the women are watching they do exist. A lot of times they don't have their they don't they don't have edge sometimes their nerds sometimes they don't dress too well sometimes they're holding a fish up in their profile pictures they're clueless yet many of these clueless men can make great partners in life don't discount the clueless guy from the outside world because what matters most is does he have a genuine heart that's what matters most and I invite you to look for the man who has a genuine heart and if you need some help and support in figuring out who that guy is schedule the free discovery call with me to see if working with the coaches right for you check out all the links below join my group called midlife love master if you find out in this video please share this with friends please subscribe to my channel if you got this far and please like this video if I didn't already say that alright folks I think you get the gist of where I'm going invest in yourself and also just remember the real journey is the self journey that you're loving oneself and my invitation for all you or my hope is for all of you is as you do that when you stand in your empowerment your sovereignty you will attract in a great partner in your life and then on that note I will wrap up today's videos I always do please first off give myself a big gigantic job of self love I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm going to ask you to turn to someone a pat a teddy bear pillow and give it or them a hug because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it we could all use more love in our lives I want to and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart oh and I want to thank roller girl and Jennifer and Mel and grace and Brendan J 10 and JJ and Rhonda and Rula and Susan and chaos and Alexander and Renee and grace and Mel and Cecela and I butcher everyone's name because I'm terrible at it everyone thank you so much have a good one.