 Chapter 27 of Don Quixote, Volume 2 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Reynard Don Quixote, Volume 2 Translated by John Ormsby Chapter 27 Wherein it is shown who Master Pedro and his ape were, together with the mishap Don Quixote had in the braying adventure, which he did not conclude as he would have liked or as he had expected. C. D. Amiti, the chronicler of this great history, begins this chapter with these words, I swear as a Catholic Christian. With regard to which his translator says that C. D. Amiti's swearing as a Catholic Christian, he being, as no doubt he was, a more, only meant that, just as a Catholic Christian taking an oath swears, or ought to swear, what is true, and tell the truth in what he avers. So he was telling the truth, as much as if he swore as a Catholic Christian, in all he chose to write about, Quixote, especially in declaring who Master Pedro was, and what was the divining ape that astonished all the villagers with his divinations. He says then that he who has read the first part of this history will remember well enough the Gines de Passamont, whom, with other galley slaves, Don Quixote set free in the Sierra Morena, a kindness for which he afterwards got poor thanks and worse payment from that evil-minded, ill-conditioned set. This Gines de Passamonté, Don Ginosillo de Paraphilia, Don Quixote called him, it was that stole dapple from Santo Pansa, which, because by the fault of the printers, neither the how nor the when were stated in the first part, has been a puzzle to a good many people, who attribute to the bad memory of the author what was the error of the press. In fact, however, Gines stole him while Santo Pansa was asleep on his back, adopting the plan and device that Brunello had recourse to when he stole Sacropante's horse from between his legs at the Siege of Albraca. And, as has been told, Sancho afterwards recovered him. This Gines then, afraid of being caught by the officers of justice, who were looking for him to punish him for his numberless rascalities and offences, which were so many and so great that he himself wrote a big book giving an account of them, resolved to shift his quarters into the kingdom of Aragon and cover up his left eye and take up the trade of a puppet showman. For this, as well as juggling, he knew how to practice to perfection. From some released Christians, returning from Barbary, it so happened, he bought the ape, which he taught to mount upon his shoulder, on his making a certain sign, and to whisper, or seem to do so, in his ear. Thus prepared, before entering any village, whether he was bound with his show and his ape, he used to inform himself at the nearest village, or from the most likely person he could find, as to what particular things had happened there, and to whom. And, bearing them well in mind, the first thing he did was to exhibit his show. Sometimes one story, sometimes another, but all lively, amusing, and familiar. As soon as the exhibition was over, he brought forward the accomplishments of his ape, assuring the public that he divined all the past and the present, but as to the future he had no skill. For each question answered, he asked two rails, and for some he made a reduction, just as he happened to feel the pulse of the questioners. And when, now and then, he came to houses where things that he knew of had happened to the people living there, even if they did not ask him a question, not caring to pay for it, he would make the sign to the ape, and then declare that it had said so and so, which fitted the case exactly. In this way, he acquired a prodigious name, and all ran after him. On other occasions, being very crafty, he would answer in such a way that the answers suited the questions, and as no one cross-questioned him or pressed him to tell how his ape divined, he made fools of them all and filled his pouch. The instant he entered the inn, he knew Don Quixote and Sancho, and with that knowledge, it was easy for him to astonish them and all who were there. But it would have cost him dear had Don Quixote bought down his hand a little lower when he cut off King Marcio's head and destroyed all his horsemen, as related in the preceding chapter, so much for Master Pedro and his ape. Now to return to Don Quixote of La Mancha. After he had left the inn, he determined to visit, first of all, the banks of the Ebro, and that neighborhood before entering the city of Sargosa. For the ample time there was still to spare before the joust left him enough for all. With this object in view, he followed the road and travelled along it for two days, without meeting any adventure worth committing to writing, until on the third day, as he was ascending a hill, he heard a great noise of drums, trumpets and muskets shots. At first he imagined some regiments of soldiers was passing that way, and to see them he spurred Rocinante and mounted the hill. On reaching the top, he saw at the foot of it over 200 men, as it seemed to him, armed with weapons of various sorts, lances, crossbows, partisans, halberds and pikes, and a few muskets and a great many bucklers. He descended the slope and approached the band near enough to see distinctly the flags, make out the colours and distinguish the devices they bore, especially one on a standard or ensign of white satin, on which there was painted, in a very lifelike style, an ass, like a little sod, with its head up, its mouth open and its tongue out, as if it were in the act and attitude of braying. And round it were inscribed in large characters these two lines. They did not brae in vain, our Alcades twain, from this device Don Quixote concluded that these people must be from the braying town. And he said so to Sancho, explaining to him what was written on the standard. At the same time he observed that the man who had told them about the matter was wrong in saying that the two who braed were regidors. For according to the lines of the standard, they were Alcaldes. To which Sancho replied, Senor, there's nothing to stick at that, for maybe the regidors who braed then came to be Alcaldes of their town afterwards, and so they may go by both titles. Moreover, it has nothing to do with the truth of the story whether the braes were Alcaldes or regidors, provided at any rate they did brae. For an Alcalde is just as likely to brae as a regidor. They perceived, in short, clearly, that the town which had been twitted had turned out to do battle with some other that had jeered it more than was fair or neighbourly. Don Quixote proceeded to join them, not a little to Sancho's uneasiness, for he never relished mixing himself up in expeditions of that sort. The members of the troop received him into the midst of them, taking him to be someone who was on their side. Don Quixote, putting up his visor, advanced with an easy bearing and demeanour to the standard with the ass, and all the chief men of the army gathered round him to look at him, staring at him with the usual amazement that everybody felt on seeing him for the first time. Don Quixote, seeing them examining him so attentively, and that none of them spoke to him or put any question to him, determined to take advantage of their silence. So, breaking his own, he lifted up his voice and said, Worthy sirs, I entreat you as earnestly as I can not to interrupt an argument I wish to address to you, until you find it displeases or worries you. And if that come to pass, on the slightest hint you give me, I will put a seal upon my lips and a gag upon my tongue. They all bade him say what he liked, for they would listen to him willingly. With this permission, Don Quixote went on to say, I, sirs, am a knight errant whose calling is that of arms and whose profession is to protect those who require protection and give help to such as stand in need of it. Some days ago, I became acquainted with your misfortune and the cause which impels you to take up arms again and again to revenge yourselves upon your enemies. And having many times thought over your business in my mind, I find that, according to the laws of combat, you are mistaken in holding yourselves insulted. For a private individual cannot insult an entire community, unless it be by defying it collectively as a traitor. Because he cannot tell who in particular is guilty of the treason for which he defies it. Of this, we have an example in Don Diego Ordonez de Lara, who defied the whole town of Zamora, because he did not know that Valido Dolphes alone had committed the treachery of slaying his king, and therefore he defied them all, and the vengeance and the reply concerned all. Though to be sure, Senor Don Diego went rather too far. Indeed, very much beyond the limits of a defiance, for he had no occasion to defy the dead, all the waters, all the fishes, all those yet unborn, and all the rest of it has set forth. But let that pass, for when anger breaks out, there's no father-governor or bridle to check the tongue. The case being then, that no one person can insult a kingdom, province, city, state, or entire community. It is clear that there is no reason for going out to avenge the defiance of such an insult. Insomuch, as it is not one. A fine thing it would be, if the people of the clock town were to be at loggerheads every moment with everyone who called them by that name. All the casoleros, barringineros, balanatos, jaboneros, all the bearers of all the other names and titles that are always in the mouth of the boys and the common people. It would be a nice business indeed if all these illustrious cities were to take huff and revenge themselves and go about perpetually making trombones of their swords in every petty quarrel. No, no, God forbid! There are four things which sensible men and well-ordered states ought to take up arms, draw their swords and risk their persons, lives and properties. The first is to defend the Catholic faith. The second, to defend one's life, which is in accordance with natural and divine law. The third, in defence of one's honour, family and property. The fourth, in the service of one's king, in a just war. And if to these, we choose to add a fifth, which may be included in the second, in defence of one's country. To these five, as it were capital causes, there may be added some others that may be just and reasonable and make it a duty to take up arms. But to take them up for trifles and things to laugh at and be amused by rather than offended looks as though he did so who was altogether wanting in common sense. Moreover, to take an unjust revenge, and they cannot be any just one, is directly opposed to the sacred law that we acknowledge, wherein we are commanded to do good to our enemies and to love them that hate us. A command which, though it seems somewhat difficult to obey, is only so to those who have in them less of God than of the world and more of the flesh than of the spirit. For Jesus Christ, God and true man, who never lied and could not and cannot lie, said, as our lawgiver, that his yoke was easy and his burden light. He would not therefore have laid any command upon us that it was impossible to obey. Thus says, you are bound to keep quiet by human and divine law. The devil take me, said Sancho to himself at this. But this master of mine is a Tologian or, if not, faith he's as like one as one egg is like another. Don Quixote stopped to take breath and observing that silence was still preserved, had a mind to continue his discourse and would have done so had not Sancho interposed with his smartness. For he, seeing his master pause, took the lead, saying, My Lord Don Quixote of La Mancha, who once was called the Knight of the Rufal Countenance, but now is called the Knight of the Lions, is a gentleman of great discretion, who knows Latin and his mother tongue like a bachelor, and in everything that he deals with or advises, proceeds like a good soldier and has all the laws and ordinances of what they call combat at his fingers' ends. Say you have nothing to do but to let yourselves be guided by what he says and on my head be it if it is wrong. Besides which, you have been told that it is a folly to take offense at merely hearing a bray. I remember, when I was a boy, I braided as often as I had a fancy, without anyone hindering me, and so elegantly and naturally that when I braided, all the asses in the town would bray. But I was nonetheless for that the son of my parents, who were greatly respected, and though I was envied because of my gift, by more than one of the high and mighty ones of the town, I did not care too far things for it and that you may see, I am telling the truth. Wait a bit and listen, for this art, like swimming, once learned is never forgotten. And then, taking hold of his nose, he began to bray so vigorously that all the valleys around rang again. One of those, however, that stood near him, fancying he was mocking them, a long staff he had in his hand, and smote him such a blow with it that Sancho dropped helpless to the ground. Don Quixote, seeing him so roughly handled, attacked the man who had struck him and lanced in hand, but so many thrust themselves between them that he could not avenge him. Far from it, finding a shower of stones rained upon him and crossbows and muskets unnumbered leveled at him, he wheeled Rocconante around and as far as his best gallop could take him, fled from the midst of them, commending himself to God with all his heart to deliver him out of this peril. In dread every step of some ball coming in at his back and coming out at his breast, and every minute drawing his breath to see whether it had gone from him. The members of the band, however, were satisfied with seeing him take to flight and did not fire on him. They put up Sancho, which he restored to his senses on his ass and let him go after his master. Not that he was sufficiently in his wits to guide the beast, but Dappel followed the footsteps of Rocconante, from whom he could not remain a moment separated. Don Quixote, having got some way off, looked back and seeing Sancho coming waited for him as he perceived that no one followed him. The men of the troops stood their ground till night as the enemy did not come out to battle. They returned to their town exalting, and had they been aware of the ancient custom of the Greeks, they would have erected a trophy on the spot. Chapter 28 Of matters that Ben and Jalee says, he who reads them will know if he reads them with attention. When the brave man flees treachery is manifest, and it is for wise men to reserve themselves for better occasions. This proved to be the case with Don Quixote who, giving way before the fury of the town folk and the hostile intentions of the angry troop, took to flight and without a thought of Sancho all the danger in which he was leaving him retreated to such a distance as he thought made him safe. Sancho, lying across his ass, followed him, as has been said, and at length came up, having by this time recovered his senses, and on joining him let himself drop off dabble at Rocconanti's feet, sore, bruised, and belaboured. Don Quixote dismounted to examine his wounds, but finding him whole from head to foot, he said to him angrily enough. In an evil hour didst thou take to braying Sancho? Where hast thou learned that it is well done to mention the rope in the house of the man that has been hanged? To the music of braze what harmonies could thou expect to get but cudgels? Give thanks to God, Sancho, that they sign the cross on the just now with a stick, and did not mark thee per signum crucius with a cutlass. I'm not equal to answering, said Sancho, as if I was speaking through my shoulders. Let us mount and get away from this. I'll keep from braying, but not from saying that knights errant fly, and lead their good squires to be pounded like privet, or made meal at the hands of their enemies. He does not fly who retires, returned Don Quixote. For I would have thee know, Sancho, that the valour which is not based upon a foundation of prudence is called rashness, and the exploits of the rash man are to be attributed rather to good fortune than to courage. And so I own that I retired, but not that I fled. And therein I have followed the example of many valiant men who have reserved themselves for better times. The histories are full of instances of this, but as it would not be any good to thee or pleasure to me, I will not recount them to thee now. Sancho was by this time mounted with the help of Don Quixote, who then himself mounted Rocconanti, and at a leisurely pace they proceeded to take shelter in a grove which was in sight about a quarter of a league off. Every now and then Sancho gave vent to deep size and dismal groans. And on Don Quixote asking in what caused such acute suffering, he replied that from the end of his backbone up to the nape of his neck he was so sore that it nearly drove him out of his senses. The cause of that soreness, said Don Quixote, will be no doubt that the staff wherewith they smote thee, being a very long one, it caught thee all down the back, where all the parts that are sore are situated. And had it reached any further thou wouldst be sore still. By God, said Sancho, your worship has relieved me of a great doubt and cleared up the point for me in elegant style. Bodyo me is the cause of my soreness such a mystery that there's any need to tell me I am sore everywhere the staff hit me. If it was my ankles that pained me there might be something in going divining why they did. But it is not much divine that I am sore where they thrashed me. I am my faith master. Mine, the ills of others hang by a hair every day I am discovering more and more how little I have to hope from keeping company with your worship. For if this time you have allowed me to be drugged the next time, or a hundred times more will have the blanketings of the other day over again. And all the other pranks which, if they have fallen on my shoulders now will be thrown in my teeth by and by. I would do a great deal better if I was not an ignorant brute that will never do any good all my life. I would do a great deal better, I say come to my wife and children and support them and bring them up on what God may please to give me instead of following your worship along roads that lead nowhere and paths that are none at all with little to drink and less to eat. And then, when it comes to sleeping measure out seven feet on the earth brother squire and if that's not enough for you take as many more for you may have it all your own way and stretch yourself to your heart's content. As I could see burns and turn to ashes the first man that meddled with night errantry or at any rate the first who chose to be squires to such fools as all the nighterrants of the past times have must have been. Of those of the present day I say nothing because as your worship is one of them I respect them and because I know your worship knows a point more than the devil in all you say and think. I would lay a good wager with you Sancho, said Don Quixote that now that you are talking on without anyone to stop you you don't feel a pain in your whole body talk away my son say whatever comes into your head or mouth for so long as you feel no pain the irritation your impertinences give me will be a pleasure to me and if you are so anxious to go home to your wife and children God forbid that I should prevent you you have money of mine see how long it is since we left our village this third time and ought to earn every month and pay yourself out of your own hand when I worked for Tom Carrasco the father of Bachelor Samson Carrasco that your worship knows replied Sancho I used to earn two duck hats a month besides my food I can't tell what I earn with your worship though I know a nighterrant squire has harder times of it than he who works for a farmer for after all we who work for farmers however much we toil all day at the worst, at night we have our ola supper and sleep in a bed which I have not slept in since I have been in your worship service if it wasn't the short time we were in Don Diego de Miranda's house and the feast I had with the skimmings I took off Camacho's pots and what I ate drank and slept and Bessillo's house all the rest of the time I have been sleeping on the hard ground and I exposed to what they call the inclement seas of heaven keeping life in me with scraps of cheese and crust of bread and drinking water either from the brooks or from the springs that we come to on these bypass we travel I own Sancho said Don Quixote as all thou sayest is true how much thinkest thou ought I to give thee over and above what Tom Carrasco gave thee I think said Sancho that if your worship was to add on two rails a month I'd consider myself well paid that is as far as the wages of my labour go but to make up to me for your worship's pledge and promise to me to give me the government of an island it would be fair to add six rails more making thirty in all very good said Don Quixote it is twenty five days since we left our village so reckon up Sancho according to the wages you have made out for yourself and see how much I owe you in proportion and pay yourself as I said before out of your own hand oh body owe me said Sancho but your worship is very much out in that reckoning for when it comes to the promise of the island we must count from the day your worship promised it to me to this present hour we are at now well how long is it Sancho since I promised it to you said Don Quixote if I remember rightly said Sancho it must be over twenty years three days more or less Don Quixote gave himself a great slap on the forehead and began to laugh heartily and said he why I have not been wandering either in the Sierra Morena or in the whole course of our salleys but barely two months and now say Sancho that it is twenty years since I promised it to the island I believe now that would have all the money thou hast of mine my wages if so and if that be thy pleasure I give it to thee now once and for all and much good may it do thee for so long as I see myself rid of such a good for nothing squire I'll be glad to be left a pauper without a rap but tell me thou pervert of the squirely rules of night's errantry where hast thou ever seen or read that any night's errant squire made terms with his lord and gave me so much a month for serving you plunge scoundrel rogue monster for such I take thee to be plunge I say into the marae magnum of their histories and if thou shalt find that any squire ever said or thought what thou hast said now I will let thee nail it on my forehead and give me over and above four sound slaps in the face turn the rain or the halter of thy dapple and be gone home a single step further thou shalt not make in my company O bread thanklessly receive O promise is ill bestowed O man more beast than human being now when I was about to raise thee to such a position that in spite of thy wife thy would call thee my lord thou art leaving me thou art going now when I had a firm and fixed intention of making the lord of the best island in the world well thy self said before now honey is not for the mouth of the ass ass thou art ass that wilt be and ass thou wilt end when the course of thy life is run for I know it will come to its close before thou dost perceive or discern that thou art a beast Sancho regarded donkey hote earnestly while he was giving him this rating and was so touched by remorse that the tears came to his eyes and in a piteous and broken voice he said to him master mine I confess that to be a complete ass all I want is a tale if your worship will only fix one on me I'll look on it as rightly placed and I'll serve you as an ass all the remaining days of my life forgive me and have pity on my folly and remember I know about little and if I talk much it's more from infirmity than malice but he who sins amends commends himself to God I should have been surprised Sancho said donkey hote if thou had to not introduce some bit of a proverb into thy speech well well I forgive thee provided thou dost mend and not show thyself in future so fond of thine own interest but try to be a good cheer and take good heart and encourage thyself to look forward to the fulfilment of my promises which by being delayed does not become impossible Sancho said he would do so and keep up his heart as best he could they then entered the grove and donkey hote settled himself at the foot of an elm and Sancho at that of a beach for trees of this kind and others like them always have feet but no hands Sancho passed the night in pain for with the evening dews the blow of the staff made itself felt all the more donkey hote passed it in his never failing meditations but for all that they had some winks of sleep and with the appearance of daylight they pursued their journey in quest of the banks of the famous Ebro where that befell them which will be told in the following chapter end of section 15 which is chapters 27 and 28 read by Reynard section 16 of donkey hote volume 2 that is chapters 29 and 30 this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Reynard donkey hote volume 2 by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra translated by John Ormsby chapters 29 and 30 chapter 29 of the famous adventure of the enchanted bark by stages as already described or left undescribed two days after quitting the grove donkey hote and Sancho reached the river Ebro and the sight of it was a great delight to donkey hote as he contemplated and gazed upon the charms of its banks the clearness of its stream the gentleness of its current and the abundance of its crystal waters and the pleasant view revived a thousand tender thoughts in his mind above all he dwelt upon what he had seen in the cave of Montesinos for though master Pedro's ape had told him that of those things parts was true parts false he clung more to their truth than to their faulted the very reverse of Sancho who had held them all to be downright lies as they were thus proceeding then they discovered a small boat without oars or any other gear that lay at the water's edge tied to the stem of a tree growing on the bank donkey hote looked all round and seeing nobody at once without more ado dismounted from Rocconante and bade Sancho get down from dapple and tie both beasts securely to the trunk of a poplar or willow that stood there Sancho asked him the reason of this sudden dismounting and tying donkey hote made answer thou must know Sancho that this bark is plainly and without the possibility of any alternative calling and inviting me to enter it and in it go to give aid to some knight or other person of distinction in need of it who is no doubt in some sore straight for this is the way of the books of Shilry and of the enchanters who figure and speak in them when a knight is involved in some difficulty from which he cannot be delivered saved by the hand of another knight though they may be at a distance of two or three thousand leagues or more one from the other they either take him up on a cloud or they provide a bark for him to get into and in less than the twinkling of an eye they carry him where they will and where his help is required and so Sancho this bark is placed here for the same purpose this is as true as that it is now day and ere this one passes tie dapple and rockenante together and then in God's hand be it to guide us for I would not hold back from embarking though barefooted friars were to beg me as that's the case said Sancho and your worship chooses to give into these I don't know if I may call them absurdities at every turn there's nothing for it but to obey and bow the head and bowing in mine the proverb do as they master bids me and sit down to table with him but for all that for the sake of easing my conscience I warn your worship that it is my opinion that this bark is no enchanted one but belongs to some of the fishermen of the river for they catch the best shad in the world here as Sancho said this he tied the beasts leaving them to the care and protection of the enchanters with sorrow enough in his heart Don Quixote made him not be uneasy about deserting the animals for he who would carry themselves over such long inquest roads and regions would take care to feed them I don't understand that logiquus said Sancho nor have I ever heard the word all the days of my life Long inquest replied Don Quixote means far off no wonder thou dost not understand it for thou art not bound to know Latin like some who pretend to know it and don't now they are tied said Sancho what are we to do next what? said Don Quixote cross ourselves and way anchor I mean embark and cut the moorings by which the bark is held and the bark began to drift away slowly from the bank but when Sancho saw himself somewhere about two yards out in the river he began to tremble and gave himself up for lost but nothing distressed him more than hearing Dappel bray and seeing Rocinante struggling to get loose and said he to his master Dappel is braying in grief at our leaving him and Rocinante is trying to escape and plunging after us and since peace be with you and may this madness that is taking us away from you turned into sober scents bring us back to you and with this he fell weeping so bitterly that Don Quixote said to him sharply and angrily what art thou afraid of cowardly creature what art thou weeping at heart of butter paste who pursues or molest thee thou soul of a tame mouse what does thou want unsatisfied in the very heart of abundance art thou perchance tramping barefoot over the raffaean mountains instead of being seated on a bench like an arched duke on the tranquil stream of this pleasant river from which in a short space we shall come out upon the broad sea but we must have already emerged and gone 700 or 800 leagues and if I had here an astrolabe to take the altitude of the pole I could tell thee how many we have travelled though either I know little or we have already crossed or shall shortly cross the equinoctial line which parts the two opposite poles midway and when we come to that line your worship speaks of said Sancho how far shall we have gone very far for of the 360 degrees that this terraqueous globe contains as computed by Ptolemy the greatest cosmographer known we shall have travelled one half when we come to the line I spoke of by God said Sancho your worship gives me a nice authority for what you say putrid dolly something transmogrified or whatever it is Don Quixote put upon computed and the name of the cosmographer Ptolemy and said he thou must know Sancho that with the Spaniards and those who embark at Cadiz for the East Indies one of the signs they have to show them when they have passed the equinoctial line I told thee of is that the lice die upon everybody on board the ship and not a single one is left or to be found in the whole vessel if they gave its weight in gold for it so Sancho thou mayest well pass thy hand down thy thigh and if thou comest upon anything alive we shall be no longer in doubt if not then we have crossed I don't believe a bit of it said Sancho still I'll do as your worship bids me though I don't know what need there is for trying these experiments for I can see with my own eyes that we have not moved five yards away from the bank or shifted two yards from where the animals stand for there are rock and ante and dapple in the very same place where we left them and watching a point as I do now I swear by all that's good we are not stirring or moving at the pace of an ant try the test I told thee of Sancho said Don Quixote and don't mind any other for thou knowest nothing about collures, lines parallels, zodiacs ecliptics, poles solstices, equinoxes planets, signs bearings the measures of which the celestial and terrestrial spheres are composed if thou were acquainted with all these things or any portion of them thou would see clearly how many parallels we have cut what signs we have seen and what constellations we have left behind and are now leaving behind but again I tell thee, feel and hunt for I am certain that thou art cleaner than a sheet of smooth white paper Sancho felt and passing his hand gently and carefully down to the hollow of his left knee he looked up at his mast and said either the test is a false one or we have not come to where your worship says nor within many leagues of it why, how so? asked Don Quixote has thou come upon ought? aye, and oughts replied Sancho and shaking his fingers he washed his whole hand in the river along which the boat was quietly gliding in midstream not moved by any occult intelligence or invisible enchanter but simply by the current just there smooth and gentle they now came in sight of some large water mills that stood in the middle of the river and the instant Don Quixote saw them he cried out seeest thou there my friend there stands the castle or fortress where there is no doubt some night endurance or ill-used queen or infanta or princess in whose aid I am brought hither what the devil, city fortress or castle is your worship talking about senor said Sancho don't you see that those are mills that stand in the river to grind corn hold thy peace Sancho said Don Quixote though they look like mills they are not so I have already told thee that enchantments transform things and change their proper shapes I do not mean to say they really change them from one form into another but that it seems as though they did as experience proved in the transformation of Dulcinea sole refuge of my hopes by this time the boat, having reached the middle of the stream began to move less slowly than hither to the millers belonging to the mills when they saw the boat coming down the river and on the point of being sucked in by the draught of the wheels ran out in haste several of them with long poles to stop it and being all mealy with faces and garments covered with flower they presented a sinister appearance they raised loud shouts crying devils of men where are you going to are you mad do you want to drown yourselves or dash yourself to pieces among these wheels did I not tell thee Sancho said Don Quixote at this that we had reached the place where I am to show what the might of my arm can do see what ruffians and villains come out against me see what monsters oppose me see what hideous countenances come to frighten us you shall soon see scoundrels and then standing up in the boat he began in a loud voice to hurl threats at the millers exclaiming ill conditioned and worse counseled rabble restore to liberty and freedom the person ye hold endurance in this your fortress or prison high or low or of whatever rank or quality he be for I am Don Quixote of La Mancha otherwise called the night of the lions for whom by the disposition of heaven above it is reserved to give a happy issue to this adventure and so saying he drew his sword and began making passes in the air at the millers who hearing but not understanding all this nonsense strove to stop the boat which was now getting into the rushing channel of the wheels Sancho fell upon his knees devoutly appealing to heaven to deliver him from such imminent peril which he did by the activity and quickness of the millers who pushing against the boat with their poles stopped it not however without upsetting and throwing Don Quixote and Sancho into the water and lucky it was for Don Quixote that he could swim like a goose though the weight of his armour carried him twice to the bottom and had it not been for the millers who plunged in and hoisted them both out it would have been Troy town with the pair of them as soon as more drenched and thirsty they were landed Sancho went down on his knees and with clasped hands and eyes raised to heaven prayed a long and fervent prayer to God to deliver him ever more from the rash projects and attempts of his master the fisherman the owners of the boat which the mill wheels had knocked to pieces now came up and seeing it smashed they proceeded to strip Sancho and to demand payment for it from Don Quixote but he with great calmness just as if nothing had happened him told the millers and fishermen that he would pay for the bark most cheerfully on condition they delivered up to him free and unhurt the person or persons that were endurance in that castle of theirs what persons or what castles out thou talking of mad men art thou for carrying off the people who come to grind corn in these mills that's enough said Don Quixote to himself it would be preaching in the desert to attempt by entreaties to induce these rabble to do any virtuous action in this adventure two mighty enchanters must have encountered one another and one frustrates what the other attempts one provided the bark for me and the other upset me God help us this world is all machinations and schemes at cross purposes when with the other I can do no more and then turning towards the mills he said aloud friends who ere ye be that art immured in that prison forgive me that to my misfortune and yours I cannot deliver you from your misery this adventure is doubtless reserved and destined for some other night so saying he settled with the fishermen and paid 50 rails for the boat which sancho handed to them very much against the grain saying with a couple more bark businesses like this we shall have sunk our whole capital the fishermen and the millers stood staring in amazement at the two figures so very different to all appearance from ordinary men and were wholly unable to make out the drift of the observations and questions Don Quixote addressed to them and coming to the conclusion that they were madmen they left them and betook themselves the millers to the mills and the fishermen to their hut Don Quixote and Sancho returned to their beasts and to their life of beasts and so ended the adventure of the enchanted bark chapter 30 of Don Quixote's adventure with a fair huntress they reached their beasts in low spirits and bad humour enough night and squire Sancho particularly for with him what touched the stock of money touched his heart and when any was taken from him he felt as if he was robbed of the apples of his eyes in fine without exchanging a word they mounted and quitted the famous river Don Quixote absorbed in thoughts of his love Sancho in thinking of his advancement which just then it seemed to him that he was far from securing for, full as he was he saw clearly enough that his master's acts were all or most of them utterly senseless and he began to cast about for an opportunity of retiring from his service and going home some day without entering into any explanations or taking any farewell of him fortune, however ordered matters after a fashion very much the opposite of what he contemplated it so happened that the next day towards sunset on coming out of the wood Don Quixote cast his eyes over a green meadow and at the far end of it observed some people and as he drew nearer saw that it was a hawking party coming closer he distinguished among them a lady of graceful mean on a pure white palfrey or hackney green trappings and a silver-mounted side saddle the lady was also in green and so richly and splendidly dressed that splendor itself seemed personified in her on her left hand she bore a hawk a proof to Don Quixote's mind that she must be some great lady and the mistress of the whole hunting party which was the fact so he said toancho run,ancho,my son and say to that lady on the palfrey with the hawk that I,the knight of the lions kissed the hands of her exalted beauty and if her excellence will grant me my leave I will go and kiss them in person and place myself at her service for aughts that may be in my power and her highness may command and mind,ancho how thou speakest and take care not to thrust any of thy proverbs into thy message you've got a likely one here to thrust any in,said toancho,leave me alone for that why,this is not the first time in my life I have carried messages to high and exalted ladies except that thou didst carry to the lady Dolce and Ayre,said Don Quixote,I know not that thou hast carried any other at least in my service that is true,replied but pledges don't distress a good payer and in a house where there's plenty supper is soon cooked I mean,there's no need of telling or warning me about anything for I'm ready for everything and know a little of everything that,I believe,saancho,said Don Quixote go,and good luck to thee and God speed thee Sancho went off at top speed forcing Dapol out of his regular pace and came to where the fair huntress was standing and,dismounting knelt before her and said fair lady that night that you see there the night of the lions by name is my master and I am the squire of his and at home they call me Sancho Panza this same night of the lions who was called not long since the night of the rueful countenance sends by me to say may it please your highness to give him leave that with your permission,approbation and consent he may come and carry out his wishes which are,as he says and I believe,to serve your exalted loftiness and beauty and,if you give it your ladyship will do a thing which will redound to your honour and he will receive a most distinguished favour your highness you have indeed squire said the lady,delivered your message with all the formalities such messages require rise up for it is not right that the squire of a night so great as he of the rueful countenance of whom we have heard a great deal here should remain on his knees rise my friend and bid your master welcome to the services of myself and the duke my husband in a country house we have here Sancho got up charmed as much by the beauty of the good lady as by her high-bred air and her courtesy but above all by what she had said about having heard of his master the night of the rueful countenance for if she did not call him night of the lions it was no doubt because he had so lately taken the name tell me brother squire asked the duchess whose title however is not known this master of yours is he not one of whom there is a history extant in print called the ingenious gentleman donkey-hote of la mancha who has for the lady of his heart a certain dulcinea del tabozo he is the same senora replied Sancho and that squire of his who figures or ought to figure in the said history under the name of Sancho panza myself unless they have changed me in the cradle I mean in the press I'm rejoiced at all this said the duchess go brother panza and tell your master that he is welcome to my estate and that nothing could happen me that could give me greater pleasure Sancho returned to his master mightily pleased with this gratifying answer and told him all the great lady had said to him lording to the skies in his rustic phrase rare beauty her graceful gaiety and her courtesy donkey-hote drew himself up briskly in his saddle fixed himself in his stirrups settled his visor gave Rocinante the spur and with an easy bearing advanced to kiss the hands of the duchess who having sent to summon the Duke her husband told him while donkey-hote was approaching all about the message and as both of them had read the first part of this history and from it were aware of donkey-hote's crazy turn they awaited him with the greatest delight and anxiety to make his acquaintance meaning to fall in with his humour and agree with everything he said and so long as he stayed with them to treat him as a night errant with all the ceremonies usual in the books of chivalry they had read for they themselves were very fond of them donkey-hote now came up with his visor raised and as he seemed about to dismount Sancho made haste to go and hold his stirrup for him but in getting down off dapple he was so unlucky as to hitch his foot in one of the ropes of the pack saddle in such a way that he was unable to free it and was left hanging by it with his face and breast to the ground donkey-hote who was not used to dismount his stirrup held fancying that Sancho had by this time come to hold it for him threw himself off with a lurch and bought Rocinante saddle after him which was no doubt badly girth and saddle and he both came to the ground knocked without discomfort to him and abundant curses muttered between his teeth against the unlucky Sancho who had his foot still in the shackles the Duke ordered his huntsman to go to the help of knight and squire and they raised donkey-hote sorely shaken by his fall and he, limping advanced as best he could to kneel before the noble pair this however the Duke would by no means permit on the contrary dismounting from his horse he went and embraced donkey-hote saying I am grieved sir knight of the roofal countenance that your first experience of my ground should have been such an unfortunate one as we have seen but the carelessness of squires is often the cause of worse accidents that which has happened me in meeting you mighty prince replied donkey-hote cannot be unfortunate even if my fall had not stopped short of the depth of the bottomless pit for the glory of having seen you would have lifted me up and delivered me from it is better at unloosing his tongue in talking impertinent than in tightening the girth of a saddle to keep it steady but however I may be allen all raised up on foot or on horseback I shall always be at your service and that of my lady the duchess your worthy consort worthy queen of beauty and paramount princess of courtesy gently seen your donkey-hote of lomancha where my lady dona dulcineo delta boso is it is not right that other beauty should be praised sancho by this time released from his entanglement were standing by and before his master could answer he said there is no denying and it must be maintained that my lady dulcineo delta boso is very beautiful but the hair jumps up where one least expects it to say that what we call nature is like a potter that makes vessels of clay and he who makes one fair vessel can as well make two or three or a hundred I say so because by my faith my lady the duchess is in no way behind my mistress the lady dulcineo delta boso donkey-hote turned to the duchess and said your highness may conceive that never had knight errands in this world a more talkative or a droller squire than I have and he will prove the truth of what I say if your highness is pleased to accept of my services for a few days to which the duchess made answer that worthy sancho his droll I consider a very good thing because it is a sign that he is shrewd for drollery and sprightliness is in your donkey-hote as you very well know do not take up there a boat with dull wits and as good sancho his droll and sprightly I here set him down as shrewd and talkative added donkey-hote so much the better said the duke for many droll things cannot be said in few words but not to lose time in talking come great knight of the rueful countenance of the lions your highness must say said sancho for there is the rueful countenance nor any such character now he of the lions be it continues the duke I say let sir knight of the lions come to a castle of mine close by where he shall be given the reception which is due so exalted a personage and which the duchess and I I won't to give to all knights errant who come here by this time sancho had fixed and girth rockenante saddle and the duke mounted a fine horse they placed the duchess in the middle and set out for the castle the duchess desired sancho to come to her side for she found infinite enjoyment in listening to his shrewd remarks sancho required no pressing but pushed himself in between them and the duke who thought it rare good fortune to receive such a knight errant and such a homely such a homely squire in their castle end of chapter 30 and end of section 16 of Don Quixote volume 2 recorded by Reynard chapter 31 of Don Quixote volume 2 this is a LibriVox recording our LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Don Quixote volume 2 by Miguel de Cervantes Savedra translated by John Ormsby chapter 31 which treats of many and great matters supreme was the satisfaction that sancho felt at seeing himself as it seemed and established favorite with the duchess for he looked forward to finding in her castle what he had found in Don Diego's house and in Vasilio's he was always fond of good living he was seized by the forlok any opportunity of feasting himself whenever it presented itself the history informs us then that before they reached the country house or castle the duke went on in advance and instructed all his servants how they were to treat Don Quixote and so the instant he came up to the castle gates with the duchess two lackeys or acarys clad in what they call morning gowns of fine crimson satin reaching to their feet reaching Don Quixote in their arms before he saw or heard them said to him your highness should go and take my lady the duchess off her horse Don Quixote obeyed and great bandying of compliments followed between the two over the matter but in the end the duchess's determination carried the day and she refused to get down or dismount from her palfrey except in the arms of the duke saying she did not consider herself worthy to impose so unnecessary a burden on the night at length the duke came out to take her down and as they entered a spacious court two fair damsels came forward and threw over Don Quixote's shoulders a large mantle of the finest scarlet cloth and at the same instant all the galleries of the court were lined with the men's servants and women's servants of the household crying welcome flower and cream of night air and tree while all or most of them flung pellets filled with scented water over Don Quixote the duke and duchess at all which Don Quixote was greatly astonished and this was the first time that he thoroughly felt and believed himself to be a night errant in reality and not merely in fancy now that he saw himself treated in the same way as he had read of such nights being treated in days of yore Sancho, deserting dapple hung on to the duchess and entered the castle but feeling some twinges of conscience at having left the ass alone he approached a respectable duena who had come out with the rest to receive the duchess and in a low voice he said to her Senora Gonzales or however your grace may be called I am called Donia Rodriguez de Grisalba replied the duena what is your will, brother to which Sancho made answer I should be glad if your worship would do me the favor to go out to the castle gate where you will find a gray ass of mine make them if you please put him in the stable or put him there yourself for the poor little beast is rather easily frightened and cannot bear being alone at all if the master is as wise as the man said the duena we have got a fine bargain be off with you brother and bad luck to you and him who brought you here go look after your ass for we the duenas of this house are not used to work of that sort well then in troth returned Sancho I have heard my master who is the very treasure finder of stories telling the story of Lancelot when he came from Britain say that ladies waited upon him and duenas upon his hack and if it comes to my ass I shouldn't change him for senior Lancelot's hack if you are a jester brother said the duena keep your droleries for some place where they'll pass muster and be paid for for you'll get nothing from me but a fig at any rate it will be a very ripe one said Sancho for you won't lose the trick in years by a point too little son of a bitch said the duena whether I'm older or not it's with God I have to reckon not with you you garlic stuffed scoundrel and she said it so loud that the duchess heard it and turning around and seeing the duena in such a state of excitement and her eyes flaming so asked whom she was wrangling with with this good fellow here said the duena who has particularly requested me to go and put an ass of his to the vessel gate into the stable holding it up to me as an example that they did the same I don't know where that some ladies waited on one Lancelot and Dwayne is on his hack and what is more to wind up with he called me old that said the duchess I should have considered the greatest affront that could be offered me and addressing Sancho she said to him you must know friend Sancho that Dona Rodriguez is very youthful and that she wears that hood more for authority for some sake than because of her years may all the rest of mine be unlucky said Sancho if I meant it that way I only spoke because the affection I have for my ass is so great and I thought I could not commend him to a more kind hearted person than the lady Dona Rodriguez Don Quixote who was listening said to him is this proper conversation for the place Sancho Senor replied Sancho everyone must mention what he wants I thought of Dapel here and I spoke of him here if I had thought of him in the stable I would have spoken there of which the duke observed Sancho is quite right and there is no reason at all to find fault with him Dapel shall be fed to his heart's content and Sancho may rest easy for he shall be treated like himself while this conversation amusing to all except Don Quixote was proceeding they ascended the staircase and ushered Don Quixote the chamber hung with rich cloth of gold and brocade six damsels relieved him of his armor and waited on him like pages all of them prepared and instructed by the duke and duchess as to what they were to do and how they were to treat Don Quixote so that he might see and believe they were treating him like a night errand when his armor was removed there stood Don Quixote in his tight-fitting breeches and chamois doublet, lean, lanky and long with cheeks that seemed to be kissing each other inside such a figure that if the damsels waiting on him had not taken care to check their merriment which was one of the particular directions their master and mistress had given them they would have burst with laughter they asked him to let himself be stripped that they might put a shirt on him but he would not on any account saying that modesty became night errant just as much as valor however he said they might give the shirt to Sancho and shutting himself in with him in the room where there was a sumptuous bed he undressed and put on the shirt and then finding himself alone with Sancho he said to him tell me thou new-fledged buffoon and old booby dost thou think it right to offend and insult a duena so deserving of reverence and respect as that one just now was that a time to be think thee of thy dapple or are these noble personages likely to let the beasts bear badly when they treat their owners in such elegant style for God's sake, Sancho restrain thyself and don't show the thread so as to let them see what a coarse, boorish texture thou art of remember, sinner, that thou art the master is more esteemed the more respectable and well-bred his servants are and that one of the greatest advantages that princes have over other men is that they have servants as good as themselves to wait on them dost thou not see short-sighted being that thou art and unlucky mortal that I am that if they perceive thee to be a coarse clown or a dull blockhead they will suspect me to be some imposter or swindler nay, nay, Sancho friend keep clear, oh, keep clear of these stumbling blocks for he who falls into the way of being a chatterbox and droll drops into a wretched buffoon the first time he trips bridle thy tongue consider and weigh thy words before they escape thy mouth and bear in mind we are now in quarters whence by God's help and the strength of my arm we shall come forth mightily advanced in fame and fortune Sancho promised him with much earnestness to keep his mouth shut and to bite off his tongue before he uttered a word that was not altogether to the purpose and well-considered and told him he might make his mind easy on that point for it should never be discovered through him what they were Don Quixote dressed himself put on his baldric with his sword threw the scarlet mantle over his shoulders placed on his head and he was given the name of the Monterra of Green Satin that the damsels had given him and thus the raid passed out into the large room where he found the damsels drawn up in double file the same number on each side with all the appliances for washing the hands which they presented to him with profuse obeisances and ceremonies then came twelve pages together with a seneschal to lead him to dinner as his hosts were already waiting for him they placed him in the midst of them and with much pomp they conducted him into another room where there was a sumptuous table laid with but four covers the Duchess and the Duke came out to the door of the room to receive him and with them a grave ecclesiastic one of those who rule noblemen's houses one of those who not being born magnates themselves never know how to teach those who are how to behave as such one of those who would have the greatness of great folk measured by their own narrowness of mind when they tried to introduce economy into the household they rule lead it into meanness one of this sort I say must have been the grave church man who came out with the Duke and Duchess to receive Don Quixote a vast number of flight speeches were exchanged and at length taking Don Quixote between them they proceeded to sit down to table the Duke pressed Don Quixote to take the head of the table and though he refused the entreaties of the Duke were so urgent that he had to accept it the ecclesiastic took his seat opposite to him and the Duke and Duchess those at the sides all this time Sancho stood by gaping with amazement at the honor he saw shown to his master by these illustrious persons and observing all the ceremonious pressing that had passed between the Duke and Don Quixote to induce him to take his seat at the head of the table he said if your worship will give me leave I will tell you a story of what happened with this matter of seats the moment Sancho said this Don Quixote trembled making sure that he was about to say something foolish Sancho glanced at him and guessing his thoughts said don't be afraid of my going astray senor or saying anything that won't be pat to the purpose I haven't forgotten the advice your worship gave me just now about talking much or little well or ill I have no recollection of anything Sancho said Don Quixote what thou wilt only say it quickly well then said Sancho what I am going to say is so true that my master Don Quixote who is here present will keep me from lying lie as much as thou wilt for all I care Sancho said Don Quixote for I am not going to stop thee but consider what thou art going to say I have so considered and reconsidered said Sancho that the bell ringers in a safe berth as will be seen by what follows it would be well said Don Quixote if your highnesses would order them to turn out this idiot for he will talk a heap of nonsense by the life of the Duke Sancho shall not be taken away from me for a moment said the Duchess I am very fond of him for I know he is very discreet discreet be the days of your holiness said Sancho for the good opinion you have of my wit though there's none in me but the story I want to tell is this there was an invitation given by a gentleman of my town a very rich one and one of quality for he was one of the Alamos of Medina del Campo and married to Donia Mencia de Quinones the daughter of Dona Lonzo de Maranon Knight of the Order of Santiago that was drowned at the Herradura him there was that quarrel about years ago in our village that my master Don Quixote was mixed up in to the best of my belief that Tomasillo the scapegrace the son of Balbastro the Smith was wounded in isn't all this true mastermind as you live say so that these gentle folk may not take me for some lying chatterer so far as of the Ecclesiastic I take you to be more a chatterer than a liar but I don't know what I shall take you for buy and buy thou sightest so many witnesses and proofs Sancho said Don Quixote that I have no choice but to say thou must be telling the truth go on and cut the story short taking the way not to make an end for two days to come he is not to cut it short said the Duchess on the contrary for my gratification he is to tell it as he knows it though he should not finish it these six days and if he took so many they would be to me the pleasantest I ever spent well then sirs I say continued Sancho that this same gentleman whom I know as well as I do my own hands for it's not a bullshot from my house to his invited a poor but respectable laborer get on brother said the church man at the rate you are going you will not stop with your story short of the next world I'll stop less than half way please God said Sancho and so I say this laborer coming to the house of the gentleman I spoke of that invited him rest his soul he is now dead and more by token he died the death of an angel so they say for I was not there for just at that time I had gone to reap a tembleque as you live my son said the church man make haste back from tembleque and finish your story without burying the gentleman unless you want to make more funerals well then it so happened said Sancho that as the pair of them were going to sit down to table and I think I see them now plainer than ever great was the enjoyment the Duke and Duchess derived from the irritation the worthy church man showed at the long-winded halting way Sancho had of telling his story so don Quixote was chafing with rage and vexation so as I was saying continued Sancho as the pair of them were going to sit down to table as I said the laborer insisted upon the gentleman taking the head of the table and the gentleman insisted on the laborers taking it as his orders should be obeyed in his house but the laborer who plumbed himself on his politeness and good breeding would not on any account until the gentleman out of patience putting his hands on his shoulders compelled him by force to sit down saying sit down you stupid lout for wherever I sit will be the head to you and that's the story and truth I think it hasn't been brought in amiss here don Quixote turned all colors which on his sunburned face modeled it till it looked like Jasper the Duke and Duchess suppressed their laughter so as not altogether to mortify don Quixote for they saw through Sancho's impertinence when he changed the conversation and keeps Sancho from uttering more absurdities the Duchess asked don Quixote what news he had of the Lady Dulcinea and if he had sent her any presence of giants or miscreants lately for he could not but have vanquished a good many to which don Quixote replied senora my misfortunes though they had a beginning will never have an end I have vanquished giants and I have sent her catiffs and miscreants but where are they to find her enchanted and turned into the most ill-favored peasant wench that can be imagined I don't know said Sancho Pansa to me she seems the fairest creature in the world at any rate in nimbleness and jumping she won't give in to a tumbler by my faith senora Duchess she leaps from the ground onto the back of an ass like a cat have you seen her enchanted Sancho ask the Duke what seen her said Sancho why who the devil was it but myself that first thought of the enchantment business she is as much enchanted as my father the ecclesiastic when he heard them talking of giants and catiffs and enchantments began to suspect that this must be don Quixote of La Mancha whose story the Duke was always reading and he had himself often reproved him for it telling him it was foolish to read such foolories and becoming convinced that his suspicion was correct addressing the Duke he said very angrily to him senor your excellence will have to give account to God for what this good man does this don Quixote or don Simpleton or whatever his name is cannot I imagine he's such a blockhead as your excellence would have him holding out encouragement to him to go on with his vagaries and follies then turning to address don Quixote he said and you num skull who put it in your head that you are a knight errant and vanquished giants and capture miscreants go your ways in a good hour and in a good hour be it said to you go home and bring up your children if you have any and attend to your business and give over going wandering about the world gaping and making a laughing stock of yourself to all who know you and all who don't where in heaven's name have you discovered that there are or ever were knights errant where are the giants in Spain or miscreants in La Mancha or enchanted Dulce Neas or the rest of the silly things they tell about you don Quixote listened attentively to the reverend gentlemen's words and as soon as he perceived he had done speaking regardless of the presence of Duke and Duchess he sprang to his feet with angry looks and an agitated countenance and said but the reply deserves a chapter to itself End of Chapter 31 Chapter 32 of Don Quixote Volume 2 This is a Libra Vox recording all Libra Vox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit Libra Vox.org Recording by Phil Serrette Don Quixote Volume 2 by Miguel de Cervantes Cvedra Translated by John Ormsby Chapter 32 of the reply Don Quixote gave his censurer with other incidents grave and droll Don Quixote then having risen to his feet trembling from head to foot like a man dosed with mercury said in a hurried agitated voice The place I am in, the presence in which I stand and the respect I have and always have had for the profession to which your worship belongs holds and binds the hands of my just indignation and as well for these reasons as because I know as everyone knows that a gownsman's weapon is the same as a woman's the tongue I will with mine engage in equal combat with your worship from whom one might have expected good advice instead of foul abuse pious well meant reproof requires a different demeanor and arguments of another sort at any rate to have reproofed me in public and so roughly exceeds the bounds of proper reproof for that comes better with gentleness than with rudeness and it is not seemly to call the sinner roundly blockhead and booby without knowing anything of the sin that is reproofed come tell me for which of the stupidities you have observed in me do you condemn and abuse me and bid me go home and look after my house and wife and children without knowing whether I have any is nothing more needed than to get a footing by hook or by crook in other people's houses to rule over the masters and that perhaps after having been brought up in all the straightness of some seminary and without having ever seen more of the world than may lie within lay down the law rashly for chivalry and pass judgment on knights around is it happily an idle occupation or is the time ill spent that is spent in roaming the world in quest not of its enjoyment but of those arduous toils whereby the good mount upwards to the abodes of everlasting life if gentlemen great lords nobles men of high birth were to rate me as a fool I should take it as an irreparable insult but I care not a farthing if clerks who have never entered upon or trod on the paths of chivalry should think me foolish night I am and night I will die if such be the pleasure of the most high some take the broad road of overweening ambition others that of mean and servile flattery others that of deceitful hypocrisy and some that of true religion but I led by my star follow the narrow path of night errantry and in pursuit of that calling I despise wealth but not honor I have redressed injuries righted wrongs punished insolence is vanquished giants and crushed monsters I am in love for no other reason than that it is incumbent on nights around to be so but though I am I am no carnal minded lover but one of the chaste platonic sort my intentions are always directed to worthy ends to do good to all and evil to none and if he who means this does this and makes this his practice deserves to be called a fool it is for your highness to say oh most excellent Duke and Duchess good by God cried Sancho say no more in your own defense mastermind for there's nothing more in the world to be said thought or insisted on and besides when this gentleman denies as he has that there are or ever have been nights around in the world is it any wonder if he knows nothing of what he has been talking about perhaps brother said the ecclesiastic you are that sancho panza that is mentioned to whom your master has promised an island yes I am said sancho and what's more I am one who deserves it as much as anyone I am one of the sort attach thyself to the good and thou wilt be one of them and of those not with whom thou art bred but with whom thou art fed and of those who leans against a good tree a good shade covers him I have lent upon a good master and I have been for months going about with him and please God I shall be just such another long life to him and long life to me for neither will he be in any want of empire to rule or I of islands to govern no sancho my friends certainly not said the duke for in the name of senior donkey hote I confer upon you the government of one of no small importance that I have at my disposal go down on thy knees sancho said donkey hote and kiss the feet of his excellence for the favor he has bestowed upon thee sancho obeyed and on seeing this the ecclesiastic stood up from the table completely out of temper exclaiming by the gown I wear I am almost inclined to say your excellence is as great a fool as these sinners no wonder they are mad when people who are in their senses sanction their madness I leave your excellence with them for so long as they are in the house I will remain in my own and spare myself the trouble of reproving what I cannot remedy and without being another word or eating another morsel he went off the entreaties of the duke and duchess being entirely unavailing to stop him not that the duke said much to him for he could not because of the laughter his uncalled for anger provoked when he had done laughing he said to donkey hote you have replied on your behalf so stoutly Sir Knight of the Lions that there is no occasion to seek further satisfaction for this which though it may look like an offense is not so at all as women can give no offense no more can ecclesiastics as you very well know that is true said donkey hote and the reason is that he who is not liable to offense cannot give offense to anyone women children and ecclesiastics as they cannot defend themselves though they may receive offense cannot be insulted because between the offense and the insult there is as your excellence very well knows this difference the insult comes from one who is capable of offering it and does so and maintains it the offense may come from any quarter without carrying insult to take an example a man is standing unsuspectingly in the street and ten others come up armed and beat him he draws his sword and quits himself like a man but the number of his antagonist makes it impossible for him to affect his purpose and avenge himself this man suffers an offense but not an insult another example will make the same thing plain a man is standing with his back turned another comes up and strikes him striking him takes to flight without waiting an instant and the other pursues him but does not overtake him he who received the blow received an offense but not an insult because an insult must be maintained if he who struck him though he did so sneakingly and treacherously had drawn his sword and stood and faced him then he who had been struck would have received offense and insult at the same time offense because he was struck treacherously insult because he who struck him maintained what he had done standing his ground right and so according to the laws of the accursed dual I may have received offense but not insult for neither women nor children can maintain it nor can they wound nor have they anyway of standing their ground and it is just the same with those connected with religion for these three sorts of person are without arms offensive or defensive and so though naturally they are bound to defend themselves they have no right to offend anybody and though I said just now I might have received any now certainly not for he who cannot receive an insult can still less give one for which reasons I ought not to feel nor do I feel aggrieved at what that good man said to me I only wish he had stayed a little longer that I might have shown him the mistake he makes in supposing and maintaining that there are not and never have been any nates errant in the world had amity or any of his countless descendants heard him say as much I am sure it would have not gone well with his worship I will take my oath of that said Sancho they would have given him a slash that would have slid him down from top to toe like a pomegranate or a ripe melon they were likely fellows to put up with jokes of that sort boy my faith I am certain if reynald elves of Montalvan had heard that little man's words he would have given him such a spank on a mouth that he wouldn't have spoken for the next three years I let him tackle them and you'll see how you'll get out of their hands the Duchess as she listened to Sancho was ready to die with laughter and in her own mind she set him down as droler and matter than his master and there were a good many just then who were of the same opinion Don Quixote finally grew calm and dinner came to an end and as the cloth was removed four damsels came in one of them with a silver basin another with a jug also of silver a third with two fine white towels on her shoulder and the fourth with her arms bared to the elbows for white they certainly were a round ball of Naples soap the one with the basin approached and with arch composure and impudence thrusted under Don Quixote's chin who wondering at such a ceremony said never a word supposing it to be the custom of that country to wash beards instead of hands he therefore stretched his out as far as he could and at the same instant the jug began to pour and the damsel with the soap rubbed his beard briskly raising snowflakes for the soap lather was less white not only over the beard but over all the face and over the eyes of the submissive knight so that they were perforce obliged to keep shut the Duke and Duchess who had not known anything about this waited to see what came of this strange washing the barber damsel when she had him a hands breath deep in lather pretended that there was no more water and bade the one with the jug go and fetch some while senior Don Quixote waited she did so and Don Quixote left the strangest and most ludicrous figure that could be imagined all those present and there were a good many were watching him and as they saw him there with half a yard of neck and that uncommonly brown his eyes shut and his beard full of soap it was a great wonder and only by great discretion that they were able to restrain their laughter the damsels the concoctors of the joke kept their eyes down not daring to look at their master and mistress and as for them laughter struggled within them and they knew not what to do whether to punish the audacity of the girls or to reward them for the amusement they had received from seeing Don Quixote in such a plight at length the damsel with the jug returned and they made an end of washing Don Quixote and the one who carried the towels very deliberately wiped him and dried him and all four together making him a profound obeisance and courtesy they were about to go when the Duke last Don Quixote should see through the joke called wash me and take care that there is water enough the girl sharp witted and prompt came and placed the basin for the Duke as she had done for Don Quixote and they soon had him well soaked and washed and having wiped him dry they made their obeisance and retired it appeared afterwards that the Duke had sworn that if they had not washed him as they had Don Quixote he would have punished them for their impudence which they adroitly atoned for by soaping him as well Sancho observed the ceremony of the Duke very attentively and said to himself God bless me if it were only the custom in this country to wash squires beards too as well as knights for by God and upon my soul I wanted badly and if they gave me a scrape of the razor besides I'd take it as a still greater kindness What are you saying to yourself Sancho asked the Duchess I was saying senora he replied that in the courts of other princes when the cloth is taken away I have always considered say they give water for the hands but not lye for the beard and that shows it is good to live long that you may see much to be sure they say too that he who lives a long life must undergo much evil though to undergo a washing of that sort is pleasure rather than pain Don't be uneasy friend Sancho said the Duchess I will take care that my damsels wash you and even put you in the tub if necessary I'll be content with the beard said Sancho at any right for the present and as for the future God has decreed what is to be attend to worthy Sancho's request senochal to the Duchess and do exactly what he wishes the senochal replied that senior Sancho should be obeyed in everything and with that he went away to dinner and took Sancho along with him while the Duke and Duchess and Don Quixote remained at table discussing a great variety of things but all bearing on the calling of arms and night errantry the Duchess begged Don Quixote as he seemed to have a retentive memory to describe and portray to her the beauty and features of the Lady Delsinia Del Taboso for judging by what fame trumpeted abroad of her beauty she felt sure she must be the fairest creature in the world nay in all la mancha Don Quixote sighed on hearing the Duchess's request and said if I could pluck out my heart and lay it on this table here before your highness's eyes it would spare my tongue the pain of telling what can hardly be thought of for in it your excellence would see her portrayed in full but why should I attempt to depict and describe in detail and feature by feature the beauty of the peerless Delsinia the burden being one worthy of other shoulders than mine an enterprise wherein the pencils of Peresius, Temantis and Apelles and the graver of Lysipus ought to be employed to paint it in pictures in marble and bronze and Ciceronian and Demosthonian eloquence to sound its praises what does Demosthonian mean Sr. Don Quixote said the Duchess it is a word I never heard in all my life Demosthonian eloquence said Don Quixote means the eloquence of Demosthenes as Ciceronians mean that of Cicero who were the two most eloquent orators in the world true said the Duke you must have lost your wits to ask such a question nevertheless Sr. Don Quixote would greatly gratify us if he would depict her to us for never fear even in an outline or sketch she will be something to make the fairest envious I would do so certainly said Don Quixote had she not been blurred to my mind's eye where the misfortune that fell upon her a short time since one of such a nature that I am more ready to weep over it than to describe it for your highnesses must know that to kiss her hands and receive her benediction approbation and permission for this third sally I found her altogether a different being from the one I sought I found her enchanted and changed from a princess into a peasant from fair to fowl from an angel into a devil from fragrant to pestiferous from refined to clownish from a dignified lady into a jumping tomboy and in a word from Delsinia del Tavoso into a coarse siego wench God bless me said the duke aloud at this who can have done the world such an injury who can have robbed it of the beauty that gladdened it of the grace and gaiety that charmed it of the modesty that shed a luster upon it who replied Don Quixote who could it be but some malignant enchanter of the many that persecute me out of envy that a cursed race born into the world to obscure and bring to not the achievements of the good and glorify and exalt the deeds of the wicked and the enchanters persecute me still and enchanters will continue to persecute me until they have sunk me and my lofty chivalry in the deep abyss of oblivion and they injure and wound me where they know I feel it most for to deprive a night errant of his lady is to deprive him of the eyes he sees with of the sun that gives him light of the food whereby he lives many a time before I have said it and I say it now once more a night errant without a lady it's like a tree without leaves or a shadow without the body that causes it there is no denying it said the duchess but still if we are to believe the history of Don Quixote that has come out here lately with general applause it is to be inferred from it if I mistake not that you never saw the Lady D'Alcinia and that the said lady is nothing in the world but an imaginary lady one that you yourself begot and gave birth to in your brain and adorned with whatever charms and perfections you chose there is a good deal to be said on that point said Don Quixote God knows whether there be any D'Alcinia or not in the world or whether she is imaginary or not imaginary these are things the proof of which must not be pushed to extreme lengths I have not begotten nor given birth to my lady though I behold her as she needs must be a lady who contains in herself all the qualities to make her famous throughout the world beautiful without blemish dignified without haughtiness tender and yet modest gracious from courtesy and courteous from good breeding and lastly of exalted lineage because beauty shines forth and excels with a higher degree of perfection upon good blood than in the fair of lowly birth that is true so the Duke but senior Don Quixote will give me leave to say what I am constrained to say by the story of his exploits that I have read from which it is to be inferred that granting there is a D'Alcinia in nailed to Boso or out of it that she is in the highest degree beautiful as you have described it to us as regards the loftiness of her lineage she is not on a par with the Orianas Elastragerius Matasimus or others of that sort with whom as you well know the histories abound to that I may reply to Don Quixote that D'Alcinia is the daughter of her own works and that virtues rectify blood and that lowly virtue is more to be regarded and esteemed than exalted vice D'Alcinia besides has that within her that may raise her to be a crowned and septored queen for the merit of a fair and virtuous woman is capable of performing greater miracles and virtually though not formally she has in herself higher fortunes I protest senior Don Quixote said the Duchess that in all you say you must go cautiously and lead in hand at the saying is henceforth I will believe myself and I will take care that everyone in my house believes even my lord the Duke must be that there is a D'Alcinia in El Tabosso and that she is living today and that she is beautiful and nobly born and deserve to have such a night as senior Don Quixote in her service and that is the highest praise that it is in my power to give her or that I can think of but I cannot help entertaining a doubt and having a certain grudge against Sancho Panza the doubt is this that the aforesaid history declares that the said Sancho Panza when he carried a letter on your worship's behalf to the said Lady D'Alcinia found her sifting a sack of wheat and more by token it says it was red wheat a thing which makes me doubt the loftiness of her lineage to this Don Quixote made answer Senora, your highness must know that everything or almost everything that happens me transcends the ordinary limits of what happens to other knights around whether it be that it is directed by the inscrutable will of destiny or by the malice of some jealous enchanter now it is an established fact that all or most famous knights around have some special gift one, that of being proof against enchantment another, that of being made of such invulnerable flesh that he cannot be wounded as was the famous Roland one of the twelve peers of France of whom it is related that he could not be wounded except in the soul of his left foot and that it must be with the point of a stout pin and not with any other sort of weapon whatever and so when Bernardo del Carpio slew him at Ranceval finding that he could not wound him with steel he lifted him up from the ground in his arms and strangled him calling to mind seasonably the death which Hercules is inflicted on Anteus the fierce giant that they say was the son of Terra I would infer from what I have mentioned that perhaps I may have some gift of this kind not that of being invulnerable because experience has many times proved to me that I am of tender flesh and not at all impenetrable nor that of being proof against enchantment for I have already seen myself thrust into a cage in which all the world would not have been able to confine me except by force of enchantments but as I delivered myself from that one I am inclined to believe that there is no other that can hurt me and so these enchanters seeing that they cannot exert their vile craft against my person revenge themselves on what I love most and seek to rob me of life by maltreating that of Delsinia in whom I live and therefore I am convinced that when my squire carried my message to her they changed her into a common peasant girl in occupation as sifting wheat I have already said, however that that wheat was not red wheat nor wheat at all but grains of orient pearl and as proof of all this I must tell your highness that coming to El Taboso a short time back I was altogether unable to discover the palace of Delsinia and that the next day, though Sancho my squire saw her in her own proper shape which is the fairest in the world to me she appeared to be a coarse ill-favored farm wench and by no means a well-spoken one she who is propriety itself and so as I am not and so far as one can judge cannot be enchanted she it is that is enchanted that is spitten that is altered changed and transformed and her have my enemies revenge themselves upon me and for her shall I live in ceaseless tears until I see her in her pristine state I have mentioned this lest anybody should mind what Sancho said about Delsinia's winnowing or sifting for as they changed her to me it is no wonder it changed her to him Delsinia is illustrious and well-born and of one of the gentle families of El Taboso which are many ancient and good there and most assuredly not small is the share of the peerless Delsinia through whom her town will be famous and celebrated in ages to come as Troy was through Helen and Spain through Lacava though with a better title and tradition for another thing I would have your graces understand that Sancho Panza is one of the drollist squires that ever served Sancho Panza is one of the most important. Sometimes there is a simplicity about him so acute that it is an amusement to try and make out whether he is simple or sharp. He has mischievous tricks that stamp him rogue and blundering ways that prove him a booby. He doubts everything and believes everything. When I fancy he is on the point of coming down headlong from sheer stupidity he comes out with something shrew that sends him up to the skies. After all I would not exchange him for another and therefore I am in doubt whether it will be well to send him to the government Your Highness has bestowed upon him. Though I perceive in him a certain aptitude for the work of governing so that with a little trimming of his understanding he would manage any government as easily as the king does his taxes. And more over we know already ample experience that it does not require much cleverness or much learning to be a governor for there are a hundred about us that scarcely know how to read and govern like Girfalcons. The main point is that they should have good intentions and be desirous of doing right in all things for they will never be at a loss for persons to advise and direct them in what they have to do like those night governors who, being no lawyers, pronounce sentences with the aid of an assessor. My advice to him will be to take no bribe and surrender no right and I have some other little matters in reserve that shall be produced in due season for Sancho's benefit and the advantage of the island he is to govern. The Duke, Duchess D. Hody had reached this point in their conversation when they heard voices in a great hub up in the palace and Sancho burst abruptly into the room all glowing with anger with a straining cloth by way of a bib and followed by several servants or, more properly speaking, kitchen boys and other underlings, one of whom carried a small trough full of water that from its color and impurity was plainly dishwater. The one with the trough pursued him and followed him everywhere he went, endeavoring with the utmost persistence to thrust it under his chin while another kitchen boy seemed anxious to wash his beard. What is all this, brothers? asked the Duchess. What is it? What do you want to do to this good man? Do you forget he is a governor elect? To which the barber kitchen boy replied, The gentleman would not let himself be washed as his customary and as my lord and the senior his master had been. Yes, I will, said Sancho in a great rage, but I like to be with cleaner towels, clearer lie and not such dirty hands. For there is not so much difference between me and my master that he should be washed with angels' water and I with devil's lie. The customs of countries and princess palaces are only good so long as they give no annoyance, but the way of washing they have here is worse than doing penance. I have a clean beard, and I don't require to be refreshed in that fashion, and whoever comes to wash me or touch the air of my head, I mean to say my beard, with all due respect, be it said, I'll give him a punch that will leave my fist sunk in his skull. For the ceremonies and soapings of this are more like jokes than polite attentions of one's host. The Duchess was ready to die with laughter when she saw Sancho's rage and heard his words, but it was no pleasure to Don Quixote to see him in such a sorry trim, with the dingy towel about him and the hangers on of the kitchen all around him. So making a low bow to the Duke and Duchess as if to ask their permission to speak, he addressed the route in dignified tone. Hello, gentlemen! You let that youth alone and go back to where you came from, or anywhere else, if you like. My squire is as clean as any other person, and those troughs are as bad as narrow thin-necked jars to him. Take my advice and leave him alone, for neither he nor I understand joking. Sancho took the word out of his mouth and went on, Nay, let them come and try their jokes on the country bumpkin, for it's about as likely all stand them as that it's now midnight. Let them bring me a comb here or what they please and curry this beard of mine, and if they get anything out of my cleanliness, let them clip me to the skin! Upon this the Duchess, laughing all the while, said, Sancho Panza is right and always will be in all he says. He is clean and, as he says himself, he does not require to be washed, and if our ways do not please him he is free to choose. Besides, you promoters of cleanliness have been excessively careless and thoughtless. I don't know if I ought not to say audacious to bring troughs and wooden utensils and kitchen dish instead of basins and jugs of pure gold and towels of Holland to such a person and such a beard. But after all, you are ill-conditioned and ill-bred, and spiteful as you are you cannot help showing the grudge you have against the squires of night's errant. The impudent servitors, and even the sonnachal who came with them, took the Duchess to be speaking in earnest, so they removed this straining cloth from Sancho's neck, and with something like shame and confusion of face went off all of him danger as it seemed to him, ran and fell on his knees before the Duchess saying, From great ladies, great favours may be looked for. This which your grace has done me today cannot be requited with less than wishing I was dubbed a night errant to devote myself all the days in my life to the service of so exalted a lady. I am a labouring man, my name is Sancho Panza, I am married, I have children, and I am serving as a squire. If in any one of these ways I can serve your Highness, I will not be longer in obeying than your grace in commanding. It is easy to see, Sancho, replied the Duchess, that you have learned to be polite in the school of politeness itself. I mean to say, it is easy to see that you have been nursed in a bosom of Sr. Don Quixote, who is, of course, the cream of good breeding and flower of ceremony. Or ceremony, as you would say yourself. Fare be the fortunes of such a master and such a servant, the one, the servantry, the other, the star of squirely fidelity. Rise, Sancho, my friend. I will repay your courtesy by taking care that my Lord the Duke makes good to you the promised gift of the government as soon as possible. With this the conversation came to an end, and Don Quixote retired to take his midday sleep. But the Duchess begged Sancho, unless he had a very great desire to go to sleep, to come and spend the afternoon with her and her damsels in a very cool chamber. But he certainly had the habit of sleeping four or five hours in the heat of the day and summer. To serve her excellence he would try with all his might not to sleep even one that day, and that he would come in obedience to her command, and with that he went off. The Duke gave fresh orders with respect to treating Don Quixote as a night errant, without departing even in the smallest particular from the style in which, as the stories tell us, they used to be. Reporting by Phil Surrett, Ottawa, Ontario.