 There is a love story in every human being that has ever lived. Some are happy, some are tragic, but every single person has their encounter with love. For some, despite all their efforts, love is elusive. Sometimes the problem is being unable to find the right person. To a certain degree it is pure chance that we come across the person whom we may refer to as our soulmate. That should not discourage you, because there are secrets backed up by psychology to find the right person for you. Manage your expectations We've all heard the saying, the heart wants what it wants, and this may be true, but when it comes to finding the person for you, it's important to be realistic. If you've been infatuated with one person for a long time and have faced repeated rejections from them, you have to accept that it isn't going to happen. The best thing to do when looking for love is always to work on yourself first. Princess Braxton Davis explains in the McNair Scholars Journal 2010. In order to form a relationship there must be some type of attraction, either physically or on a personality level. Initial attraction to a potential mate is highly associated with physical attractiveness. Understand that everyone has different preferences and expectations. You can't expect to receive things that you would be incapable of offering to the relationship. While having differences is certainly important and keeps things interesting, you can't expect someone who, for example, has honed in their sense of style to be immediately attracted to someone with no interest in looking presentable. The same applies to people who pay keen attention to physical health. Falling in love with someone who pays no attention to their physical health or someone who works a high-paying job falling in love with someone who has no job. That being said, this mostly applies to the initial attraction mentioned by Princess Braxton Davis, which is largely dependent on physical attractiveness. However, when finding the right person for you, there is more to it than physical attractiveness. You should share more than surface level interests with them. While the idea of being in a relationship with someone who loves the same music and movies as you sounds ideal, research shows that it's far more important for you and your partner to share the same core values. This can mean that you share a religion, have the same or similar political alignment, and share similar views on most of your core beliefs as found by Travis G. Perry, where he writes in his 2016 thesis. Research on shared beliefs, particularly shared religious beliefs, has shown them to be a positive predictor of marital satisfaction. Disagreements are to be expected, but all of these things should inform you as to whether or not someone is actually the right one for you, as Perry elaborates. Further, couples that agree with each other on their most important values argue less and find their marriage to be more enjoyable. If these shared beliefs aren't built into the foundation of your relationship, or in other words, are not present in the person you are interested in, it is unlikely that it will work out long term. 3. There is a strong social connection When we were young, we were taught not to talk to strangers. So why should we think that approaching someone with whom we have little to no social connection and proposing a romantic relationship is a good idea? Sure, there's always the possibility of getting someone's number or Instagram handle, but the chances are not in your favor. Even if you approach perfectly and respectfully, there's still a very good chance that they'll say no. Furthermore, if you've gotten past the point of initial attraction, the question still remains, is this the right person for me? And so begins the laborious and often heartbreaking task of finding out more about this person only to decide that you're nothing alike. The cycle of going from strangers to being romantically involved is quickened with modern tools such as dating apps. Oftentimes, these apps depend largely on an initial physical attraction and therefore do not allow the process of getting to understand someone's sense of humor, likes, dislikes, and beliefs to unfold in an organic way. The truth is that the right person for you is far more likely to exist in your social circles. A 2019 study by Muli Yang and Wenbin Zhao published in Cyber Psychology Behavior and Social Networking found that having a large number of choices for potential romantic partners, as one would find on dating apps, had a negative impact on decision making. If there isn't anyone in your social network who you feel is right for you, try to expand your social circles. Do it with the intention of simply making friends and getting to know new people first and foremost. But the relationship struggles aside and truly get to know the people around you and your new friends before making romantic advances. And this is the best way to know whether or not someone is right for you before making any grand commitments. Number four, don't change who you are just to suit someone you like. It's been understood that being authentic to yourself greatly benefits your romantic relationships. Not only does it affect the relationship itself by improving satisfaction and commitment, but it also helps you find the right person for you. According to Robert E. Wickman in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, authenticity appears to signal trustworthiness and stability, which are great character traits to display when seeking a partner. Being open about who you are and what you believe in will attract someone who has similar values. It's impossible to find the right person for you when you aren't being yourself. Not only does it affect the process of finding the right person for you, but if you're successful in finding a relationship by changing who you are to suit someone, it's unlikely that the relationship will last. The pressure of not being able to share true thoughts and passions with your partner will lead to resentment and will poison the relationship over time. And number five, take it easy. You might be at a stage in your life where love has eluded you to the point that the concept of love sounds like a myth. Do not let this discourage you. Love can be magical, but it can also bring a lot of pain. As anyone who has ever had an encounter with love, you included, will know. When it comes to finding the right person for you, a desperate search might limit you to a selection of partners that may not be ideal. Take your time and be patient. At a certain point, you have to wonder if a perfect person like we see in rom-coms and TV shows like How I Met Your Mother is realistic. Is there someone who will fulfill all of your criteria for what a perfect partner should be? And if that person does exist, would they reciprocate those feelings? As you get older, these questions become scarier, but I say again, take it easy. You may be surprised by what you think of as perfect when you find it. The only predictable thing about love, real love, is that it's unpredictable. It can come to you slowly over years and years of knowing someone, or it can come to you suddenly and unexpectedly. Love is terrifying. That is true. But the journey of finding the right person for you is exciting. The only thing more exciting is the journey that begins once you've found them. There is no formula to love. There's no single magical way to draw in the one person who will be right for you, but these five secrets will help you find some direction in your search for the right person. Remember to keep your expectations in check. Look for people who share similar values and interests. Try to find someone within your social network, rather than a stranger. Always be authentic to yourself. And take it easy, because things can't be forced. Good luck.