 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of johnathanasley.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, why men don't have the balls to tell you the truth. Wait a minute, let me do that again. All right, why men don't have the balls to tell you the truth. OK, really quickly, if after this video, this content resonates with you and you're interested in talking to me directly, check out the link to a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. OK, we're going to talk about why men don't have the balls. Ah! Why men don't have the balls? I'll tell you the truth. OK, there's this old expression. I'm sure you've heard it. Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn. Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn. So what that basically means is that if a woman gets hurt, it's like being with a scorpio. I mean, the stinger is going to get really nasty. That's the perception around this. And so oftentimes, men have this fear of expressing themselves for retribution, for whatever retribution may come. Now, that's an old way of looking at things. I want to lean into something a little bit more mature as to why this happens. And I want to share with you something even more profound that will help you understand men in a much greater capacity. So a couple of things I want to express upon you is that when it comes to our feelings, our feelings aren't facts. Our feelings aren't facts, OK? F-A-C-T-S, facts. Now, you might be thinking, well, that's not true, Jonathan. Well, let me give you some examples of where I'm going with this. So this is a pair of glasses. That's a fact. I mean, for the most part, these are a pair of reading glasses. That would be more details on it. These are my new reading glasses. So that's a fact. This is a smartphone. That's a fact. I'm feeling happy right now. That's a fact. I'm feeling relatively happy right now, OK? So all of these things I've just described are facts. But here's the thing. I'm going to go back to happy. Actually, earlier today, I wasn't feeling so happy. I was feeling a little melancholy. It's kind of overcast outside. I was feeling a little droopy. So at that moment, it was a fact. And then I shifted as soon as I started to record videos. I got happier again. So what I mean by our feelings aren't facts is our feelings are fluid. They're always moving around, OK? I'm going to explain in much greater detail why men don't have the balls to speak up. Here's the thing about our feelings. Our feelings are always fluid and oftentimes changing. And so it can be very difficult to know what's really true to a person. So let me give you an example. You like somebody. A man likes you a lot. He likes you. He genuinely cares about you. He really wants you in his life. And yet he's facing some sort of fear. He's facing some anxiety. He's facing some frustrations in his life. So he has two opposing forces at once. And these opposing forces makes it very difficult to know what you're genuinely feeling about a person. Because at one moment, you can feel absolute care for another person. And at the same moment, you can feel frustration, anger, fear, or mostly it's fear. Mostly it's fear what we're experiencing. This is why I'm such a big proponent of men and women doing the inner work to really understand what's causing the fear and to really understand their feelings at a much greater depth. This is why I'm such a big proponent of the Hoffman process. Check out this book called The Hoffman Process. Now this is the book version. I actually did the retreat, which was a seven day retreat. And one of the things that was so interesting was my coach during this period of time said, Jonathan, you're always intellectualizing your feelings. I want you to start feeling your feelings. Start feeling my feelings. In fact, that was my vow. I'm going to show you. This is a picture. I want you to read what it says. I vow to stop thinking about my feelings and start feeling my feelings. I made that commitment. I'm going to tell you most men intellectualize their feelings. They think of it from the intellectual instead of actually feeling it. And so one of the reasons why we struggle speaking up because we don't know how to actually lean into our feelings of what's coming up. And the problem is our feelings can have opposing forces. I remember going out on a date sometime back with a woman. Great. I mean, really interesting woman. I liked her. We got along great. But something didn't feel right between us. Now, I can't even put my finger on it. And if I tried to explain, I wasn't able. Now, we could chalk it up to he's just not that into you or I wasn't just that into her. Yeah, that's one way. But that's just not even rationalizing it. That's giving a weak label. Because sometimes our feelings are absolutely confusing to one another or to ourselves. This is why I'm such a big proponent of my work, self-love. Self-love. I wrote a book on it called What the Heck is Self-Love Anyway? And get the glare out of it. See by Jonathan Asley. My book is a journey of personal development, self-help, and spiritual work to help really get a sense of what it is I'm really feeling inside. And my invitation for you is to do the same. And my invitation is also for men to do the same. It's interesting. There's a picture of my boys, Colin and Connor. Most of you know Connor passed away, the younger one. And with both of them, I introduced to them very early on personal development work, self-help, and spiritual work. They used to listen to the Tony Robbins CD with me. They'd listen to the Abraham Hicks CD with me when we drove around. And then later I gave Colin the book The Untethered Soul. Do I have a copy of it? The Untethered Soul. So he could really start connecting with his feelings at a much greater level. And I got to actually share a lot of the work I did with him. So at age 24, he's much more prepared to understand his feelings because I'm going to tell you something. I was a 50-year-old man and it was clueless. Why am I sharing all this with you? Because most men are good guys. I say they're just bad daters. They're just clueless. It doesn't mean that they genuinely want to hurt you. And the only reason why they're not sharing their truth, it's not that they don't have the balls. It's that they don't have the tools because they've done little work to heal childhood wounds and traumas and did little work to really understanding the mechanics to a healthy, happy relationship. So my invitation is for you to do this work for yourself first and then lead by example. Does this make sense? I hope it does. Please, to post a comment below. Let me know if this resonated with you. OK, I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do really quickly. Give myself a big jug edge and bear a hug of self-love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love. If that's OK, I'm going to ask you to turn to someone or a pet or even a teddy bear and give it a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye-bye now.