 The comedy is tonight's theme as your Sears Radio Theatre host, Andy Griffith, presents Jim Jordan in The Troublemaker. Your esteemed father is not about to do an El Foldo. I called again, introducing myself as Adnan Mubarak-Sophine, Finance Minister of Kuwait. I began to wonder how many Finance Ministers, Presidents or other assorted possible clients had ever called and been told to go stuff a cabbage. Made me very nervous about my investment. Our program will begin after this message from your local station. I'm lost in Rome. Remember when gas stations were closed on Sundays? When long lines drove you nuts? Well, listen to this, a big gas price hike may be on the way. Gas could go to a dollar a gallon. International Motors brings you gas-saving new 78 Dotsons at low 78 close-out prices. Send them to B210 and hurry in to register for the fantastic ski giveaway this weekend. A pair of bowling skis and bindings, courtesy of Bobo's Rina Ski Shop. No purchase necessary, no obligation, but you must be present to win. At International Motors, 2620 Kitsky Lane opens seven days a week. Hey, are you one of those pretty McKenzie dancers from the Bodacious Show? Yes, I am. You enjoyed the show? Sure. It's seven times. That Ken Newton on that fiddle? And Peter Vinn on Banjo? Something else. And them jokes are gal-baker. I never laughed so hard. And you dancing girls with them high-kicking, high-stepping routine, and that blew by you, number. Woo-wee! Thank you very much, sir. See, how about coming out to the truck and I'll show you how to double-clutch? Ha-ha, your dumbers are all alike. The Bodacious at Big Hudson's Historic Riverside Hotel. At 6.45 this morning, Charles Kirby, a man in his late 60s, skips down the outside stairs that leads to his little apartment over a garage, takes a deep breath, savoring the crisp morning air, listens to the birds singing, walks down the drive-thru. Walks down the driveway, the man with a smile on his face, at peace with the world. He takes out the sports section, clips back to the financial pages, runs down the New York Stock Exchange quotations, and then, Judas Priest, no longer at peace with the world, his face a mask of fury, Charles Kirby, stormed back into his house. When Charles Kirby retired, he counted on an upward-headed computer-related company called Xtronics to support him comfortably, if not luxuriously. His broker referred to it as a tiger. Well, the tiger had just bit it. Kaufman, George, and Moss, this is Slurry Bindle. This is Charles Kirby, Mr. Bindle. What in the world has happened to Xtronics? Well, Charlie, here's the way I see it. Hold it, hold it. What right have you to call me, Charlie? Well, I know your father. He calls me, sir. You should be. Now, you were going to tell me the way you see it? Well, and nobody else does, either. You've got a gold star, Bindle. Your honesty is refreshing, if not nourishing. I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Yes, sir. I am a lone man. I'm retired and no longer young, who is about to take on a corporate giant and bring it to its damn knees. And may the fur fly where it will. And that's just the beginning of our story. A new adventure in radio listening. Brought to you five nights a week by Sears Robuck & Company. Sears, where America shops. Your hosts, Lorne Green. I'll bring you stories of the Old West and the New. Andy Griffith with a look at the funny side of life. Vincent Price with tales of mystery and suspense. Cicely Tyson with stories about love, hate, and related things. Richard Whitmark, I'll bring you stories of pure adventure. Of exceptional entertainment every week. Brought to you in Elliott Lewis production of The Sears Radio Theater. Our star, Jim Jordan. When I need advice, I go to my mom. Why not? It's free. Now that I'm married and moving into a new house, I want all the advice I can get. So when mom says shop Sears, I listen. You should. Sears is a great help on those big items you need for your new home. Major appliances like washes, dryers, and refrigerators. They'll deliver, install, and service. I always depend on Sears. You should too. Can't believe you owe the IRS that much. Well, when things just don't add up, you can count on a Sears desk calculator to help you add up what you don't owe. Add, subtract, multiply, and divide, then read the figures two different ways. 12-digit display or tape printout. There's a two-memory system that helps ease multi-step problems. Plus, its many extras make it a great time saver. Sears two-memory desk calculator now cut $25. Just $99.99 through March 7th at most Sears retail stores. Prices and dates may vary in Alaska and Hawaii. Light it, clean it, and love it during Sears Home Center sales. With lighting by, it's shine. 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Dear question, if you were a man facing this big financial crisis, if you were in urgent need of economic advice, the sort you just don't run into any old place, where would you go? What's that? The barber shop, you say. Exactly right. Mario, I come to you because you're my barber and you claim to know almost everything. What's going on with ex-tronics? Yeah, I dumped that because I didn't know what was going on either. Well, their plan is in your area, isn't it? Don't you ever hear anything? I'm counting on ex-tronics to support me in style. And that includes this expensive haircut. There's a bar down the block where some of the guys from ex-tronics show up. It's got a picture out in front of a wild pig with a spear in him, and it's called a bloody bore. Mario, don't explain jokes to me. I'll cut your throat with a lady's razor and make it look like suicide. Go on. Yeah, I just heard grumbling there, so I sold. Thank you, Mario Saville. And now back to you in the studio, Charles Kirby. I returned home to change my costume, and just as I was about to leave for the West Valley to see what I could find out about ex-tronics, my darling daughter arrived in her usual fashion. Good afternoon, Daddy. Damn it, Carolyn. I told you not to knock and bust in here immediately like an English maid with the paper in the morning tea. I might be entertaining. Oh, you're always entertaining, Daddy. Well, you know what I mean. At your age, Daddy? Carolyn, I'm still strong enough to flip you over my knee and let my right hand explain about respect for your father. Well, what was it you wanted? I just wanted to tell you I'm pregnant. Isn't that wonderful? Oh, I suppose. But that's one of the easiest things in the world for a girl to be. Daddy. Congratulations to you, and congratulations to Paul. Thank you. Remind me that I could congratulate you again in nine months. Now lock up, daughter. I'm heading for a sink of iniquity in the West Valley. Oh, Daddy, do you have to wear that noisy jacket? Thank you for your prompt reply. Well, the bloody boar turned out to be very cozy. Good drinks, fish and ships, darks, unfortunately for me, a medium-high-level disgruntled extronic employee. Sure. I know what's wrong with the extronics. How'd you know I was with the company? The extronics ID, pin-deer shirt, the extronics windbreaker, and the extronics cap. Pretty observant, aren't you? No, just a shot in the dark. How about extronics? All right, but I couldn't talk about the company to a stranger. I see. Miss, bring another for my friend here. No, no, no, a double bourbon and ginger. You know, somehow you don't look so strange anymore, except for that weird jacket. I stole it off a horse at Santa Anita. What is wrong with the extronics? Actually, nothing's wrong. Except we've got three vice president, or whatever they are, who blame each other for everything that goes wrong. And who are these geniuses? Listen, Mr. Horace Blankett. Hinkle, Evans, and France are absolutely indispensable. We need them. No, this is Hinkle. A sweetheart, a wonderful guy, and what a sense of humor. You should see the insulting memos he sends off from Hinkle to Evans and France. Oh, he does have a ring to it. He does them right after he comes back from lunch. Shows them to us, waits a couple hours, then sends them off. Hold it? Why does he wait a couple of hours? So when Evans and France come screaming in, he's on his way home. Funny. How hilarious. He aren't laughing. I've got stock in extronics, so it hurts me when I laugh. Yeah, now the guys in France's department have no responsibility. They have nothing to do, because old Fredo France decides on everything when he decides. It took him three days to decide what kind of paper clips we should use, but they are the greatest paper clips. Oh, excuse me. Oh, what's the matter? I think I just swallowed a cannonball. What about Evans? He's really bright. And does he ever know it? His problem is he can't get along with human beings. That cuts out a lot of people. And does the chairman of the board approve of these kiddie games? How would he know? He's out peddling the product. Oh. Why my life savings were being fiddled away? I had to pass the information on where to reduce some good. So I called extronics. Martha Wilkerson speaking. Is this the office of the chairman of the board? Yes, of course. Well, my name is Charles Kirby. I'd like to speak to Mr. Fisk. Though what a great many people, in regard to what, Mr. Kirby? Well, I prefer to explain that to Mr. Fisk. It's a matter of some urgency. Mr. Kirby, what may seem a matter of some urgency to you may be of total insignificance to Mr. Fisk. I suggest you explain this urgency in a letter, and I'll see that it comes to his attention. Thank you for calling. I'd love to kill that lady. And I just might do that. E.B. White would be proud of her. Heriodite and witty, but not too witty. And after a few days, who's there? A relative. Oh, come in, daughter. Well, are you sure the coast is clear? Yes, yes. Are you in a broth, negligee, hiding in the broom closet? Oh, for heaven's sake. The mail is there, and you've got a letter from Xtronics. Let me see it. Oh, don't, man. Well, I don't believe it. It's a good one, letter. Thank you for your letter. Xtronics is sorry it cannot answer all communications in a personal way. But rising wage costs, company mismanagement, and rude employees preclude that. Oh, you're making that up. Oh, so I am. In a personal way, but your letter has been filed appropriately. Hmm, they shredded me. Meanwhile, we thank you for your interest in Xtronics. Most sincerely, scribbled initials. Well, you can't win them all. Why not? It's just an expression. Hmm, I never use it. Your esteemed father is not about to do an El Foldo. I called again introducing myself as that man, Mr. Barrick Sothine, finance minister of Kuwait. I began to wonder how many finance ministers, presidents, or other sort of possible clients had ever called and been told to go stuff a cabbage. Made me very nervous about my investment, and I decided to take more direct action. What are you doing? You first. Paul has a friend whose uncle goes to the same barber as Mr. Fisk, and maybe when the uncle gets back from trap fishing in New Zealand... Stop. Time is of the essence. Well, what are you doing? I'm going to crape myself and get delivered to Harrison Fisk's estate. I don't believe it. Not even standing here looking at the crape? Harry, don't shoot. But who knows what's coming out of the crape? Could be the ultimate blob. The goo from outer space, the toady potent cell. Why can't you be in the sports page instead of science fiction? Oh, hold it. Okay, mister. Don't make any funny moves. Where am I? And who are you? You're in the outer drive of the Fisk home, and we're the estate patrol bombs squad. I was supposed to be taken inside the gates. Where's Harrison Fisk? When this crape showed up, he and his wife went out for the Blackwell Hotel. Shall we re-crape you and send you back? Daddy, they haven't arrested you, have they? No, and they're not going to. Too many papers to fill out. I think we'd better take this man in. Okay, but you fill out the papers. Sir, consider yourself a free man. Come on, Daddy, I'll take you home. By the way, of the Blackwell Hotel. Oh, base one, this is Mobile 16. Alert the Blackwell Hotel that an unwelcome man will be trying to contact Mr. Fisk. He is a male Caucasian, about 75. 67. Works every time. 67, white hair, wearing a sport jacket you wouldn't believe. Sort of a two-button rainbow. Take me home, Carolyn. I've got to institute operations squeaking wheels. And what is that going to be? Harrison Fisk is going to think God has declared Practical Joke Week exclusively on him. All week long, officer. What? It's baby week at Sears Murray. A great time for play suits, snap-side shirts, play pens, jennylin baby furniture, blankets and a whole lot more. Mothers and mothers-to-be shop Sears all during baby week. Come on, Sarge, how come you know all this? Because my wife and Sarge Junior are probably at Sears right now. Because Sears has baby buys bundled up. Sears Budget Shop has a vested interest in value. Vested dresses, invested skirt and pants at sizes 8 to 18. Style just right for strength. Their romantic flounce dress is topped by vest. Turnip pants suit coupled with vest. Also the tunic and skirt smartly finished with a vest. The vest, the season fashion basic. Lots of exciting print and solid color combinations. Some of you can be cheesy. Invest in fashion. Invest in value. Vest in dresses, invested skirt and pants sets in a budget shop at most larger Sears retail stores. Darling, I'm a madress who knows what to wear. Solid color prequels sheets in Sears' medley collection, of course. This gorgeous sheen I'm wearing speaks for itself. The color is called Indian sand. Isn't that stunning? I wear sheets of royal blue, lemon yellow. Sears has a dazzling collection of up to 24 colors. And the fit will just look. I can't understand why madresses wear anything but these moves from a press sheet. Honestly, darling, I wouldn't wear anything else. Five is from Twin to King in most Sears retail stores and in the catalog. I love to eat. But it takes so long to cook. That's why we both love our new Kenmore microwave oven from Sears. I can cook a five pound roast medium rare in just 30 minutes. Or three strips of bacon in three and a half minutes on a paper plate. Bake two potatoes in eight minutes and cook vegetables faster than boiling them in water. That means less time in the kitchen. And more with you. Fast, clean, cool cooking with Sears Kenmore microwave ovens all with automatic defrost. Choose the right model for your kitchen from the many styles available at most Sears retail stores. For the scheme that will make somebody listen to what you have to say. Charles Kirby is such a man, which is a good thing since our story's about him. Harrison Fisk wouldn't listen. And so Charles Kirby raised his voice a little bit. So to speak. Mr. and Madam Fisk, pardon the interruption. Everything is perfection as usual, Amir. The salmon is marvelous. Oh, thank you, merci. But I have just been asked to hand this note to you. Mrs. Fisk gets all the notes in this family. This seems to be for you. Oh. What is it there? Your car is not here. It has been repart to the Acapulco restaurant in Long Beach. You'll like them, Margaritas. Do you know anything about this, Amir? Oh, they do have very good magazine. No, no, no. About my car, for heaven's sake. Well, no, sir. Well, check on it, Amir. Check on it. I'm afraid your car's not here, sir. Don't bleep. Harrison. You turn it off, Mr. Fisk. Of course there might have been a burglar. But there wasn't. Well, just this note on the front door. Oh, thank you. Your alarm system has been tested by slickie boys of Hussain Incorporated and has passed. If any of this distresses you, please call this number. Mr. Fisk, I... I asked not to be disturbed. Maybe you'd like to write the quarterly report. Very well. I'll tell Mrs. Fisk you can't see her. Well, wait a minute. What's she doing here? Trembling since you asked. She's almost hysteric. Well, bring her in. Yes, sir. Oh, my God, now what? Oh, Harrison. Everyone, Margaret. Margaret, sit down. I can't sit down. My knees are clean. So what happened? Everything. Everything. That's what's happened. Party rents wants to deliver a hundred folding chairs, an electric hospital bed, and a portable toilet. Oh, there are tree surgeons who want to give us estimates for taking down all the eucalyptus trees. And there's a man with a bulldozer who thinks we want him to knock down the front gate. There's a man who wants to clear the hillside and brush. He looks like Pancho Villa, and he's got a whole army of mercenaries with the shetties. There are four, four plumber's trot. And when I sneaked out the back way and drove off in Iso-Roku's pickup, the third howdy neighbor was just driving up. I've had it, Harrison. I've had it up to here, or maybe even up to here. Oh, I love you, but you seem to have a lousy karma lately. And I'm thinking of leaving you before somebody has a charity block party in my house. I'm all right. I'm all right, Margaret. I think I know what I have to do. It's all right now. It's all right, darling. There's a tavern not far from your plant called the Bloody Boar. I'd like to meet you there alone in an hour. I assure you it will be good for you, for me, and for electronics. Sit down, Mr. Fisk. Thank you. I consider the way you forced me to come here completely reprehensible. I'm sorry you forced me to be reprehensible. I realize you're a busy man, Mr. Fisk. You're inaccessible. I phoned, and I wrote this very nice letter on my best stationery. This is a carbon. Hmm. Yeah, erudite. Whitty, but not too witty. Exactly. In answer, I received this form letter. No. Oh, I began to sense the source of your animosity. I'd like to shove it down the throat of that snide secretary of yours out there. Now, the reason for all this is that I put most of my retirement money into electronics. And now I see my semi-comfortable life threatened. So I found out why extronic stock is going down. How could an outsider possibly... I talk to insiders. You have three factions here that don't get along. Groups headed by Hinkle, Evans and Trance. So your management is divided. Or as today's kids put it, polarized. As chairman of the board, you should have done something about this three years ago. You're quite right. But goodbye, Mr. Kirby. You sit right down or I'll tear this solid gold button right off your jacket. I'll hear you out, but I know the problem. I can't fire any of them. They're too good, too important. And they're also primitoners, and if I speak frankly to them, they'll quit, and one of my competitors will fire them. Of course, if I don't fire them... Write down the drain. There's no solution. There's always a solution. Let me give you an example of a difficult problem. Once upon a time, an Arab died, leaving his 17 camels to his three sons. Half to the oldest, the third to the middle son, and a ninth to the youngest son. 17's a prime number. It's impossible. Yes, but then a wise man rode up on his camel, and they told him their problem. The wise man thought a moment and said, suppose I lend you my camel, temporarily. Now, you have 18 camels, and half of 18 is nine. So the older son took nine camels. Next, the third of 18 is six, and the middle son took his six camels. And the ninth of 18 is two for the youngest son. And now nine, six, and two are 17. And so this remaining camel, of course, that's mine. And with that, the wise man got on his camel and rode off. Shall I run the camels by you again? No, no, I was just thinking. It's an unusual solution. Well, I have a solution to your problem, and it's a little unusual too. Well, I'm through. Hinkle's Evans, France, and you will be one big happy family again. You'd have to be a genius. I do have my bright moments, and I expect to be well paid for them. Yes, right. But about the camel. Well, think about that for a while. First, I suggest you hire me, and then here's what you do, and what I'll do. Gentlemen, I want you to meet Kirby Charleston. Well, Mr. Evans and Mr. France. Howdy, sir. I'll be brief, gentlemen. Benton Rogers and Gravett, as well as Matrix Development, are concerned about the way things are going at electronics, and they should be. Our dividend is going to be half of what it was last year. Now, needless to say, they believe we're doing something very wrong, and they suggested Kirby Charleston here. He's been a very successful troubleshooter with other companies, and I'm confident he'll do as well here. I want you to give him your cooperation and extend all courtesies to him, because he'll be working directly under me as the chairman of the board. Oh, you won't find any problems in my department. I don't have any trouble. Nor do I. How can you be so damn sure? What? Your three departments make up the company, and the company is in trouble. At least one of you must be grossly misinformed about his own department. And I'm going to find out who it is. One dextronics for three days. Asking questions, taking secretaries out to lunch. Very pleasant of us, too. Asking questions and filing the answers away. The fourth day I visited Henkel, just after his three martini lunch. Good afternoon, Mr. Henkel. Oh, hello. How was your lunch? Oh, delicious. Very tasty. What'd you have? What? To eat. Oh, what did I have to eat? Let's see, I had, um... You had veal kidney. Now, do you answer your mail now? Oh, sure, girl, do it now. Never pull off till today what you don't have time to do tomorrow. That's one of Fredo Francis' problems. Can't make decisions. Come to think about it, I ought to write him a memo about that. Yeah. I had veal kidney. How do you know? The shadow knows. Oh, he do. The question was just as I had heard it at the bloody board. So, one down. And the next day I dropped in on the Evans. A really nice, bright man. Miss Henderson! Where are you, Miss Henderson? Hello, Mr. Evans. Oh, oh, uh... Where did you come from, Mr. Charleston? I came from Ohio. Miss Henderson stepped away from her desk for a moment. What for? Guess. Well, that's another one. A place leaving a desk for women. And what was it that Shakespeare said about women? No, no, that's what Sherman said about war. You know, you're right. Hey, have you found out who's creating the problems around here? Indeed I have. Okay, glad to hear it. Anybody I know? You better believe it. I wasn't sure that I was right about France, but I wanted to check. I dropped in as he was on the intercom to his secretary. And tell National Oxides I'll get back to him in two days. Then tell Henderson at Formula X I'll get to him with an answer in a day or so. And tell Harvey Levick I won't be able to talk a deal this week. I've got to look over all that material he sent me. Now, you've got to put off that meet. I'll get back to you later, you. Hello, Mr. Charleston. Mr. France. What can I do for you? Answer a few questions. Gladly. Have you okayed the order for the Sandrex Corporation? No, not yet. Haven't had time to look them over. Well, the space and tolerances are what you asked for. Why is it all right? I've had other things to do. I'm taking care of it, Mr. Charleston. In a very sloppy way. What did you say? Surely you heard me. How long did Sandrex Corporation guarantee their prices? Now you look here, Mr. Charleston. Today is the last day. I suggest you call him personally and say, yes, before you get a 15% hike. I'm a very busy man, sir. Would you mind getting out of my office? Out! I can only say to you what you said to me when I came in. Oh-ho-ho-ho! Gladly. I have to solve them without losing the company and my retirement checks in the process. Radio Theater will return after this message from your local station. Who will be the skier you most admired in your 2004 years? Well, probably be the kind of one. He's an expert, a crispy little guy. A little beard. He's a skier. A fearless skier, as a matter of fact. Oh. If anybody ever calls him a chicken, you know. I get the picture. As a matter of fact, in the off-season, he used to ski down a big mountain of mashed potatoes. But, you know, Bob Rossian from Ringo's ski shop is a good friend of his. As a matter of fact, he convinced his wife Leslie to marry him. Oh. Yes, the cleaner was hobbling around the bubble store with a broken wing. Very good. Very good. It might have been his fish farm. Well, the cleaner heard this muffled voice in this rack of skier and Levi clothing. Leslie. Bobo, he had got so much great merchandise that he was about to suffocate himself. And she saved him. Took a pair of orange skis and popped him out like a shoe on an apprentice that he'd marry her. Heartwarming. When did that happen? That was last Thursday. Kids were thrilled about it. Yeah, Bobo's Ringo's ski shop, 1200 South Wales Avenue. I gained 20 pounds in two months. Chocolate and bean and butter. Yeah, I never lost that weight either. With me, it was different. I was climbing the walls, yelling at the kids. I just couldn't live with myself. Neither could Dan, could he? No, not really. He said having a wife to smoke was better than being terrorized day and night. Better than a family dragon and a nasty dragon, huh? Right. So anyway, I'm back to a pack and a half a day, addicted just like I was. Let's hold it right there. The American Heart Association wants you to know that smoking cigarettes becomes a habit, not an addiction. Habits can be broken. Smoking is a matter of choice, not destiny. We can help you quit. You don't have to gain weight or climb the walls. Contact your American Heart Association for a free booklet that explains how to break your cigarette habit step by step. The American Heart Association wants you to know we're fighting for your life. Drip it again with the concluding act of the troublemaker. For a particular moment, none of them had to be used because only a worried Mr. Fisk was involved. He stopped me in the corridor between... Well, I can tell you more about the ex-tronics and I think it's about time to set up a meeting. Oh, good, good. Hinkle's coming this way. I'm ready for him. Hello, Harrison. And Mr. Charleston. Well, I'm glad you're here, Mr. Hinkle, because I don't like to talk about people behind their backs. Mind if I eavesdrop and drip away? I was just about to recommend to Mr. Fisk that you not be allowed to make any company decisions after one o'clock. And what does that mean? It means that those three martinis at the Simpering Bull turn your brain into a bowl of minestrone. Oh, wait a minute. Your judgment goes to pot. People sell you things you wouldn't even look at in the morning. You get childish and write insulting memos. This is a company, Mr. Hinkle. Not a daycare playground. Hold on, Mr. Troll. Are you trying to call me an alcoholic? I'm trying to avoid calling you an alcoholic. I'll leave it to Mr. Fisk to act on my recommendation. I have more to do, but I'll tell you something, Mr. Hinkle. You and your three martini lunches are one of the things wrong with electronics. Did you hear that? Oh, every word. Clear as a bell. Well, I resent this guy. Oh, I don't blame you. Of course, I have seen some of your memos. Well, I sometimes get in the mood to write a memo. Is it usually after lunch? No, I don't think so at all, not really. Well, if there's nothing to it, don't let it bother you. I won't. I won't. But, well, he practically called me an alcoholic. I hope that was a psychic slip. Yes, it must have been. I have had lunch here. I mean, I haven't. Why is that, Mr. Chalk? Wouldn't you like to know? You would, and I'll tell you. I was planning to play a tape of a phone call in which your attitude toward the president of System 3 Semiconductors can only be described as outrageous. My God, is that who that was? Naturally, Mr. Matsumoto didn't get through to Mr. Fiss. Matsumoto! And he won't call again unless I persuade him to reconsider. Oh, I wish you would. Oh, yes. Very well. I'll just tell him that I'll tell him Martha's father and mother died in an automobile crash the day before, and she was out of sorts. I'll say it was her car. I'll go, but please don't play that tape. Very well. The point is, try not to filter out everybody. I got the point, Mr. Charleston, and I'll be more careful. I have already recommended to Mr. Fisk that Mr. Hinkel not be allowed to make business decisions or write memos after his three martini lunch. The whole thing is ridiculous. I'll miss those memos. It seems to me that's pretty strong, but... Mr. Fisk has not taken the recommendation yet. It's an easy solution, which is more than I can say for the problem with Mr. France here. What problem? Mr. France, you've got to do something about that enormous ego of yours. Ego? I? Mr. Charleston, I am the humblest of men. Yes, I know. You're the tops in humility. And considering yourself humble is just another form of arrogance. I consider that pretty insulting. Well, ladies, since we're paying for it, I think we ought to hear him out. Well, what's that got to do with my department in electronics? I'll get immediately to the point. You and your ego think you're the only ones who can pass on everything. You may be the best to decide, but anybody can order special paperclips. And meanwhile, your desk becomes a hiatal hernia obstructing the passage of vital paperwork, information, and decisions. Now, maybe you don't realize that he often works all night, Braxtronics. I know. I know. Doing things he should delegate to other people. And then he's tired all the next day. But it's interesting you should come to his defense, Mr. Evans. Why not? I don't like the way you're handling this whole thing. And you're going to like it less. I'm surprised you back up, Mr. France, when you're the most inconsiderate of the people who work for you. You ride roughshod over your assistants like a Hungarian nobleman. Now, hold it. No. What about Annabelle Potkin? You drove her out of electronics, and now she's with Rockworth when she's needed here. Have you found a replacement yet? How would you like to step outside? No, no. Take it easy, Eddie. Suppose you think that would prove that Braxtronics didn't need her. Won't you have the slightest feeling for your fellow human beings? Can't you be satisfied being a minor God? You'd get cooperation you wouldn't believe. I'm not going to take this. Wait for me, Eddie. And you wouldn't have to break into new secretary every week. I'm coming, too. Think about what I said, sir. I'm just going to... Eddie, come on. Let's go. I just hope I haven't lost my three top men. So do I. Just remember, I have stock in electronics, too. What would you have done if Evans really tangled with you? I would have beaten the hell out of him. I'm focused in the executive restroom. Let me tell you one thing, boys. We may have had our differences, and we may have needled each other more than was absolutely necessary, but we have got to get together and get rid of this character. Eddie, would you go in and shoot him now if we all promised to swear you were in Chicago at the time? I'm tempted. And, Harry, you may have to wait until five for your martinis for a while. I may take up jogging for lunch. I didn't know we lost Annabelle Potkin. I shouldn't have yelled at her. She's too sensitive. It seems to me somebody found your sensitive spots recently. You could say that. All right. I agree with Spritto. We've got to sign a truce back each other up and tell Harrison to wrap up Kirby Charleston and send her back to Benton Rogers and Gravett. Yeah, but we're going to have to stop taking electronics for granted. Yeah, we've all been doing it. Yeah, first things first. Are we prepared to tell Harrison or else? I am. I am, too. No, not me. Not me. I didn't go out for lunch today. I thought you seemed friendlier. Oh, wait a minute, Eddie. Now, hold it. Hold it. We've got to go back to what we used to be, the three musketeers, the can-do kids, all and all for one. Are we ready? Almost. Thank you. Now, you know the old era. I've been wondering how... Oh, here they come, Charles. You were right. Go ahead. Say anything. And, furthermore, these are the men. The men who made electronics what it is. Oh, gentlemen, I'm glad you're here. I was just about to tell Mr. Charleston that we were the team that made electronics and we aren't breaking it up of a fast psychological fix from some corporation medicine man. Now, wait a minute, Mr. Fisk. You would believe me, Harrison. He's not a troubleshooter. He's a troublemaker. Oh, you can say that again. Everything I said was right. People were screwing up with his martini lunch. France wouldn't let anything get done in his department without his initials. And Evans was alienating everybody in his radiation fallout zone. Douglas MacArthur was a pussycat into comparison. That's enough, Charleston. But wait. It's all true. These men don't realize how they've been kicking electronics down the tube by fighting among themselves. I don't want to hear it, Mr. Charleston. But you've got to hear it. No. No, I don't. Mr. Charleston, you may be very perceptive. You may be very bright. And you may even be very right. I'll have to check with my free right-hand men about that because they've always been honest with me. But as far as I'm concerned... Oh, that may be so, but all I can say is... Out! Hmm. I see. Well... I can't imagine how you're going to survive. Goodbye. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey... I'm sorry I hired him, but everything was going down, down, down. I didn't know what to do. But I had to do something. Maybe there's something to be learned here. I just wouldn't have the slightest idea. Charles Kirby, aka Kirby Charleston, it was worth it. Retreating my car from Long Beach and suffering with the burglar alarms and all the rest of it. I think you've got my management team straight now. Well, the idea was get them all to hate me instead of each other and then get them united in their hate. And you fire me. Well, they're happy, you're happy, and I'm happy. Oh, what can I say? You said the things to them that nobody could say about setting the relationships. Oh, boy, were you frank. I had to be. But they're going to remember, you burned a lot of your criticism right on their lines. Well, yes. And that was quite a number you did on Martha Wilkerson. She had it coming. I guess so. I presume you were Mr. Matsumoto? Oh, yes, calling long distance from Honolulu. It's not about those camels. Well, a half, a third, and a ninth don't equal one. So the Arab didn't give them all away. Oh. I like to think that I'm the floating camel that solved your problem. I have a check here for you, Charles. Thank you. I don't mind saying that while the squabbling was going on, I sold X-tronics short and picked up a small bundle. But now, I am happy to say I'm bullish on X-tronics. X-tronics. Some really impossible guy was hired by this company. I think it was the one you used to be interested in. X-tronics? No, no, no. X-tronics. Or maybe it was X-tronics, Mario. That's what I said. X-tronics. Well, he went over there and blistered the whole management team. Rumors, rumors. There was an older guy in his 50s. So they said that, eh? You know? Well, I don't know how to put this, but let me tell you something, Charlie. Mr. Kirby, damn it. Hey, sorry, sorry. You're going to tell me what? Mr. Kirby, I was just going to say that you ought to do something with your time. I'll think about it, Mario. It would cost to replace your car's muffler, including installation. Oh, I'd say about $50. No, wait, $45. It would be around $30. Just about $40. The aluminized Sears Muzzler is only $19.99. That's half of what I guessed. It's hard to believe on a Cadillac. That's a trippy party with installation included. I should have known it. Sears. The suit to own, if you could own only one, is on sale at Sears. The $119 four-piece vested is now $89, a $30 savings. The suit, contrasting slacks and reversible vest makes six different outfits. The four-piece vested suit, it should be the suit you own. On sale for $89 until February 24, then margin Sears Men's Stores. Style, sense, satisfaction. Sears Men's Store. Generations ago, families dined by the warmth of the old spirit with its open hearth dining room furniture. Faithfully rendered early American designs and careful workmanship give it an heirloom quality. The satin glow and warm highlighting of Sears open hearth take 26 steps to achieve. There's no shorter method to bring out the beauty of the wood. And like all good furniture, open hearth is made to last for a long time with sturdy tongue and groove and mortise and tenon construction. Choose from 16 different pieces of open hearth and Sears retail stores. I sell draperies at Sears. Yesterday, a lady came in and said that she'd been in and out of about every store in town looking for draperies and at this point didn't know what she wanted anymore. I asked questions about her tastes and decor and then made suggestions. She was thrilled. She found what she wanted and learned a little too. It made me feel good to know that I helped her out. Sears people are friendly people who help you find what you want. Sears, Sears, Sears where America's shop. This thing to Sears Radio Theater brought to you five nights a week by Sears Robot Inc. Sears where America's shops. The Troublemaker was written by John L. Green, produced and directed by Elliot Lewis. Your host was Andy Griffith. Our star was Jim Jordan. Also heard were Michael Galman, Shirley Mitchell, Mary Jane Croft, Ralph Sadan, Elvia Allman, Frank Nelson, Sidney Millard, Kerr Broadley, Kerr Beigren, and Jerry Hauston. The music for Sears Radio Theater was composed and conducted by Nelson Riddle. Argil Moore speaking. The Elliot Lewis production of Sears Radio Theater is a presentation of CDI.