 Phab steps presents the Great Gildersleeve. Hee hee hee hee hee. The makers of Phab steps present each week at this time Harold Perry is the Great Gildersleeve, written by John Wheaton. We'll hear from the Great Gildersleeve in just a moment. Homemakers when unexpected guests stay for dinner or between meal refreshments are in order, are you equal to the occasion? Well, whether the occasion calls for just a snack or for the main dish of a hearty meal, you'll find Phab step is mighty handy to have around. You see, Phab step is the delicious golden cheese food of a hundred different uses. Phab step slices so neatly and spread so easily it's grand for sandwiches or appetizers or to serve with fruit. Phab step makes luscious smooth cheese sauces that turn vegetables, leftovers or chicken or egg dishes into real party treats. Phab step is just right for cheese omelettes, rabbits or souffles. Yes, and Phab step is nourishing. It's a fine energy food and easy to digest. So always keep a package or two of Phab step on hand. Whether your dealer has it in the convenient round flat package. Remember, just ask for Phab step, P-A-B-S-T dash E-T-T. Phab step, the delicious golden cheese food of a hundred uses. Now let's join our friend the Great Gildersleeve who's risen this morning with the conviction that all's right with the world. After a warm shower, a half dozen knee bends, a brisk shave and a hearty breakfast, he's stepped out onto the front porch to enjoy his cigar and survey his property. Uh-huh, October. I tell you, Marjorie, there's no finer month in the air. Just breathe that air. Wonderful. He left nipping it. Makes you want to get out and do things, doesn't it, Leroy? Such as what? October, harvest time, frost on the pumpkin, brown October ale, the smell of burning leaves. I love October. Uh, look at that maple tree in Mrs. Ransom's yard there. Like a beautiful painting. Uncle Mort, I believe you'd like any kind of a tree if Mrs. Ransom was sitting under it. She is where? I was speaking figuratively. Oh, well let me reiterate, Marjorie, that Mrs. Ransom to me is nothing but a neighbor. You believe in a good neighbor policy. If we were discussing trees, look at our own lovely elm. Look at the color of those leaves. Oh, glorious. Yeah, and you know what's going to happen to those leaves? They're going to fall on the ground. That's the first law of nature, my boy. Yeah, and I'm going to have to rake them up. That's the second law. I hate trees. Leroy, never let me hear you say that about a tree. Okay, I think I'll go over to Piggy. Did you ever stop to consider what a wonderful thing a tree is? Leroy, I asked you a question. Did you? No, Uncle, but I'll do it the minute I get back. Come back here. You do what? What you said? You weren't listening. I'm listening. Uncle, if Piggy's waiting for me, we're going to dig a fort. Dig a fort? You can do plenty of digging right here, Leroy. Just stick around. I have something to tell you. Both of you. Uh-oh. What is it? Well, I bought a tree. Huh? You bought a tree? Certainly. What's so amazing about that? Everybody ought to have more trees. One of the happiest recollections of my childhood is an old cherry tree we had in our front yard at home. I fell out of it once and broke my arm. You must have had a jolly childhood, Uncle Moore. Yeah. What wouldn't I give to be back there now? To be a kid again. And break the other long. Yes, sir, there are two things every boy ought to grow up with. A dog of his own and a cherry tree. Do you mean that, Uncle? What? About the dog? No, but I mean it about the cherry tree. The tree I bought was a cherry tree. How did you come to get sold this tree, Uncle Moore? I didn't get sold it. I bought it of my own free will, fully dressed and in my right mind. Where are we going to put it? Where are we going to put another tree here? Well, if you don't understand my idea, this is a very fine tree. They call it a giant ponderosa. Holy smokes, how big is it? Well, a man says they grow 30 or 40 feet high, higher than the house. What man, Uncle Moore? The man that sold it to me. He showed me a picture of it. Oh, you haven't seen the tree? Why, of course not. I hope you didn't pay him for it. Well, I... Come on, Uncle, how much did he stick you for? Twenty-two fifty, and he didn't stick me. Twenty-two fifty? Wow, you want some water or redwood? Uncle Moore, did you ever stop to think how many cherries you could buy for twenty-two fifty? Oh, you're very helpful, both of you. But the tree will be arriving today or tomorrow. We've got to decide where we're going to put it. Now, I thought maybe right out here in front. We thought that's in the whole yard. That's good. Cherry trees need some. It'll give us some nice shade out here. We can hang a hammock under it. Hey, that wouldn't be bad. Just lie here with your mouth open and let the cherries up in. Boy. Well, of course we might not have more than a few cherries the first year, but after that... Oh, Bertie. Yes? How are you on cherry pies? Well, I haven't had any complaints so far. Then warm up your rolling pin. Leroy, do you like cherry pie? Are you kidding? Then get the shovel. Oh, I like coca-cola custard better. Get the shovel anyway. Well, you've hardly scratched the surface there, Leroy. That isn't deep enough for a geranium. Gosh, I've been digging for half an hour. Here, give me that shovel, Leroy. I'll spare you. Yes, you show them how it should be done, Bertie. You've got to put your foot on it and give it to ol' Heave Ho. Yeah, that's right, Bertie. Heave Ho! Heave Ho, you're doing fine. I'm going to have to stop through this soon, Mr. Gil, so you can get lunch. Is anybody hungry? I'm not. Don't you think it's deep enough now, Uncle Mort? It's up to our way. Well, you've got to remember, my dear, this is no tool for a nickel cherry tree. This is a giant ponderosa. Yes, I know, Uncle Mort. These things have roots. They've got to spread out. Heave Ho, Bertie. Looks like I've dug in for the women here. Heave Ho! Yes, Leroy. While you're resting, give Bertie a hand there. I don't want to suggest anything, Uncle Mort. How are you with the shovel? I'm saving myself, Leroy. So I know that. I'm saving myself for the hard work. We've got a long way to go yet. These giant ponderosas, you know. Heave Ho, my boy. Huh? Cheer up, my boy. Heave Ho. You're getting there, Bertie. You're getting there. Wait a minute, Leroy. What is it, Marjorie? Straight off his clothes. The tree's there, and they're sending it out. Oh, fine. Well, we'll have to get busy here and have everything ready. Hey, come on up, Bertie. Yes, sir. Give it up. Oh. Look out. You're starting a landslide. Leroy, give her a boost there. Grab hold of the shovel, Bertie, and I'll pull. It's day in the morning. I sure am glad to be out. Leroy, while you're resting, I want you to take that shovel. Well, here comes Mrs. Ranson. Mrs. Ranson? Oh, give me the shovel. Go dig your fork, Leroy. Give me the shovel. Good afternoon, Mrs. Ranson. Lovely day. Come on, dear honey. You're looking just sweet. Thank you. Just doing a little landscaping here. I saw you. I saw you out the window, and I declared a goodness. I was just consumed with curiosity, so I came right over willy-nilly. Well, glad you did. Where's Willick? Careful. Don't fall in that hole. You dig that great big hole? Well, I had a little help. A little, he says. Do it. Make a swimming pool. No, we're going to plant a tree. A tree? Oh, Chuck, well, man, you did remember. Remember what? Well, what we talked about under the maple tree the other night. Oh, that. You know, Chuck Mountain, the boys back home used to have the prettiest customs. They used to carve the girls' initials in the trees. Sometimes they even put a heart around them with an arrow through it. Silly, isn't it? Leroy, go dig your fort. I'm getting the lichen here, Ron. We're missing somebody else. Looks like Mr. Peabee. It is. Hello, Mr. Gildersley. Yeah, hello, Peabee. Doing a little digging, I think. Yes, doing a little digging. That's nice. I do a little gardening myself when I can. Uh, Peabee, you know Mrs. Ransom? Oh, yes. Yes, Mr. Peabee and our old friends. Yes, I had the privilege of selling Mrs. Ransom a back brush a few days ago. How's it working out, Mrs. Ransom? Well, I hardly know that this is the place to discuss it, Mr. Peabee, but it has a tendency to tickle. Well, they come that way from the factory. You have to work them in. Mr. Peabee and I have one of those brushes. We've had it almost 10 years, and we think the world of it. We wouldn't part with that brush for almost anything you could name. Well, I'm glad you're happy with it. Hey, Aunt, here comes the old ghost. Leroy, that's no way to talk about Judge Hooker. Hello, Gildersley. Hello, you old ghost. Ah, Mrs. Ransom. Oh, my, this is an unexpected place, you judge. Hello, Leroy, Marjorie, Aunt Peabee. Quite a little gathering going on here. Mr. Gildersley was having a tree planting. Well, what is this, our birthday? I wish I could stay for the ceremonies, but I've got to tend to my marketing. Oh, must you go? Yes, but when I come back, I expect to see a shady bell right where that hole is. Goodbye now. Hey, goodbye, Mrs. Ransom. Goodbye, Mrs. Ransom. Goodbye. Goodbye, Mrs. Ransom. You can have the shovel back now, Leroy. What's the excavation for, Gildy? Are you going to plant this tree or bury it? No. What kind of a tree is it? It's a cherry tree. Any objections? No. Of course, they don't live very long, but it'll probably live as long as you will. Listen to me, you old goat. A cherry tree was good enough for George Washington. And George Washington was good enough for me. You tell him, Aunt. By every house in this country ought to have a cherry tree. I hope this tree will be an inspiration to you, Leroy, to follow in the footsteps of George Washington. Do you understand what's expected of you? Yeah, you want me to chop it down. You know! He's my kid. He knows his history, Gildy. That's more than you do. Hey, Aunt. Oh, here he comes. Yeah, who? The Expressman. Maybe he's got the tree. Oh, no, no. It would take a bigger wagon than that, Leroy. They'll have to send it out on the truck. All right, up here, though. Whoo! Oh, he's stopping here. Yeah, maybe it's still down at the freight office. Maybe they couldn't handle it. After all, a giant ponderosa at $22.50. That's a Gildy sleeve. Gentlemen, right there. Yeah, something for me? They signed here. Wait a minute. I was expecting a tree. They telephoned me from the freight office. You know anything about it? They signed here. But what am I signing for? I bought this tree from a fellow who came through here a week ago. Sign here, please. All right, I'll sign. But what about the tree? I paid a lot of good money down. If it's all the same to you, I'd like to know what... Oh, no, no. Now you went and signed in the wrong place. I'll have to erase it. Erase it. Well, you got me, sir. I'm excited. Now listen, brother, would you mind telling me... The bottom line, there. The bottom line. It's your hand sticking up. Yeah. Now, would you mind telling me what you're delivering, if anything? Tree. The tree? Where is it? Under my arm. Take it. Will you bud? That little twig! Oh, this is awesome. Gildy sleeve will be with us again in a few seconds. But first, you homemakers have a big job to do these wartime days. Yes, your job is to see that your families get the foods that help make them strong. So you'll want to know about a food that adds extra nourishment to meals in any number of easy, appetizing ways. That food is Pabstet, the delicious, golden cheese food of a hundred different uses. Yes, Pabstet offers many quick, delightful ways to add variety and extra nutrients to your menus. One way is with the smooth, rich cheese sauces that Pabstet makes. Just melt Pabstet in a double boiler. Stir in a little milk and season. And you have a grand golden cheese sauce for vegetables, leftovers, all kinds of nourishing food. Pabstet cheese sauce is mighty tasty, mighty nutritious, too, because Pabstet is a nourishing, digestible energy food rich in milk protein. And it helps provide vitamin A and the important milk minerals, calcium and phosphorus. So serve Pabstet often. Remember it's Pabstet, the delicious, golden cheese food of a hundred uses. Now let's get back to the great Gildersleeve and his cherry tree. The neighbors have left, and for half an hour, Gildersleeve and his nephew have been filling in the mighty hole they just finished digging. Last pour, Leeroy. Never mind the ham, Leeroy, keep shoveling. First we shovel it out, then we shovel it in. Yeah, that's life, my boy. It seems a shame to fill up a ditch like this, huh? It would have made a swell elephant slap. Yeah, I'd like to trap the fellow who sold me this tree. That Johnny Appleseed ever comes through here again, I'll hang him from the top of it. You couldn't hang a midget from it now on. All right, keep shoveling. I think this tree's going to live. Oh, really, Marjorie? I've been soaking its little roots in water. Look, there's some green there. By George, you're right, look at that green. Water, that's all it needs. Let's get it in the ground quick, huh? Leeroy, scoop out a little bed for it. Okay. A young tree will stand transplanting better than the big one, you know. That's right, my dear. Stick it in the hole, Marjorie, and Leeroy, you fill around it. Hold it straight, Marjorie. You know all that digging we did will probably help plenty of cultivation. That's what these trees need and plenty of water. And I'll pat the earth around the little roots, Leeroy. That's right. Don't pat it too hard. These giant ponderoses are very delicate. You've got to cultivate them in water. You've got to tend them like a little baby. Hmm, nice little tree. Maybe we ought to take it in the house lights to keep it warm. Very funny, Leeroy. Go get the hose and drag it over here, will you? We've got to give this a good soki. Don't you think we ought to use a medicine dropper? A medicine dropper. Go get the hose. Okay, okay. Ah, they just like to kid you, Uncle Mort. You are funny, you know. Oh, you too. Let them laugh. We're lucky to get a tree like this for $22.50. How's the hose? Well, drag it over here. Well, well, turn all the water. We'll squirt it from there. Here, give it a meeting. You go turn it off. Don't squirt it too hard, Uncle Mort. You'll knock the tree over. Go ahead. Turn it on, Leeroy. It's on. Mind you, here it comes. Is that guy next door taking a bath again? Nothing comes out. Look at that dribble. Oh, you can make it go far with the mask. Stick your thumb over the end of it, Uncle Mort. Well, I'll try it. Very cool, Uncle Mort. I'll wipe you off, Uncle Mort. Yes, never mind. By George, that's the last straw. That's summer field for you. You try to plant a tree. You try to beautify the place for a little. And then what happens? No water. The birdie's been complaining about the pressure all summer. Well, she should. The water situation in this town is a disgrace. It's a fire hazard. It's a menace of the public health. And it leaves a ring in the bathtub, too. I'm going to go out and do something. I'm very busy. Judge, have you used any water lately? I never touch the salt. You come all the way down here to ask me riddles? I mean it. I'm serious. We can't get any water in my house. We can't get any pressure. It's a disgrace. Don't complain to me. Complain to Clannaghan. He's the water commissioner. What's the use of complaining to Clannaghan? He just sits down there at the water works on his fat salary playing pinocchio. While the town goes dry, a man can't even plant a cherry tree. Don't holler at me. I don't play pinocchio. That's nothing to do with it. You might at least ask a visitor to come in and sit down, Hooker. I don't want you to come in and I don't want you to sit down. I'm busy. Judge, look. I've written a letter to the indicator of indicator about this situation. You have. And I'd like to read it to you. No, no, no, no. I'm positive it's a fine letter, Gildy. And you must be sure to send it to the newspaper. But if you want to get action with a politician like Clannaghan, you'll have to get out and blast. Blast? What do you mean, Judge? You want to get up a petition. Go around and get people to sign it. A petition? You're right. It's the voice of the people. Oh, that's wonderful, Judge. I'll get up a petition that'll blow his ears back. I'll write a petition that'll go down in history with the Missouri Compromise. Or was it the Mississippi? Good morning, Floyd. Morning, Mr. Gildeslave. You're next. You're with you in about two minutes. Thanks, Floyd. I won't require your professional administrations this morning. I shaved myself. But I've got a little thing here I'd like to have you sign. Well, the wife says I'll sign anything. What is it? You use a lot of water here, don't you, Floyd? I've got a petition. I'll read it to you. A quote. It's whom it may concern. We, the undersigned taxpayers of Somerfield, believing that the water situation in this town is a crime and a disgrace, and a stench in the nostrils of civic pride who hereby petition the town council. Yes. What's hissing? Are you shushing me? The guy in the chair under the towel. Yes, sir. Gloria, how are you working on me, Ranger? Yes, sir. Be right with you. Frank, get this towel off me, please. Yes, sir. Oh, hello, Clannahan. I came in last night. Did you? I used your water to shave with this morning. I'm just getting up a little testimonial about it here. You know, I'm sorry, Mr. Gildersley, but I couldn't possibly sign a thing like that. Mr. Clannahan, here's one of my best customers. I'm sorry. Come back later. Yes, sir. Well, that's the way you feel about it. Goodbye, Floyd. I'll be seeing you, Mr. Clannahan, if you're around. You know yourself the water in this town isn't any good. It's not even fit to bathe in. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. I bathe in it regularly, so does Mrs. Peavey. All right, it's fine to bathe in it. Well, no, I wouldn't say that either. It's a little slow coming out of the tap, and it's kind of brown, and it has a peculiar taste. Well, in other words, it's pretty bad water. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. Look, Peavey, I'm not asking you to sign the Magna Cotta. It's just a little piece of paper asking for water. I understand. Peavey, out in my yard, I've got a little cherry tree, a little tiny cherry tree, pushing its tender shoots up through the parts' earth, crying for water. Are you going to deny that little tree life? Sign here. Guilty, I wasn't born yesterday. Look here, Judge, you're the one who told me to get up this petition. Sure I was, but I'm not crazy enough to sign it. Why, I'd have soon signed my own death warrant. I'll be bringing that around yet, you old goat. A fine, upstanding judge. Well, you know how this town is run, Guilty. It's just too bad. I'd like to see somebody throw Clannaghan out. Somebody else, not me. That's your final word, is it, Hooker? I'm sorry, Guilty, but that's it. Very interesting. This is going to be very interesting. To whom? To a certain lady who shall be nameless, Mrs. Ransome. All right. If you're going to play dirty, give me the paper. I thought you'd see the light, Judge. You're worse than Clannaghan. I'm doing this against my better judgment, you understand? You never want to trust that anyway, thanks. Now, don't tell me you've gone and brought me something again. Well, not exactly. I brought you a little paper to sign. Oh my goodness, I do hope it's nothing legal. Well, it has to do with the water situation. Oh dear, is it bad? Haven't you noticed? It's terrible. There's no hydraulic pressure. Oh, there you go. I just don't know what you're talking about when you talk about things like that. I'm not a bit mechanical, you know. Oh, well, you don't have to understand it, really. All you have to do is sign it. It's a petition. Petition? Is that anything like a subpoena? Well, not really, no. Because I never did know what a subpoena was. My husband, Lord of God, was a lawyer, you know, and I never did understand him from the day I married him. Hope it's then he never understood me. Oh. But we understand each other, don't we, Dr. Martin? Oh, brother. Come into the parlor, won't you? Now, let's don't talk about petitions and pressures and chemistry and all that. Let's talk about us. Well, I'll tell you. I've got to get this petition in before the meeting of the town council tomorrow. All you men think about is business. I know, but let's get it signed first and then we can go on from there. Well, I'd love to sign the truck, Martin, really, I would, but Lord of God told me I must never sign anything without getting the advice of a lawyer first. Oh. Don't you reckon maybe I ought to consult Judge Hooker? Hooker? No. Frankly, I don't think the judge would understand about this. You don't? No. You see, if this petition is... Well, it all started with that tree I planted. Our tree, Leela. Our little tree. Oh, truck, Martin. You're sweet. I'll sign it. I'll do anything you say. Uh, wait. Here's my pen. After all you're my air raid warden. I guess that makes it legal, doesn't it? Absolutely. Truck, Martin, with love from Leela. What's that noise? What time is it? It's only six o'clock. What's going on out there? Hey, uh, what's up? Leroy, what's that racket outside? There's a gang of men digging in the front yard. In the front yard? Who told him to do that? Six o'clock in the morning, I'll find out about this. You, clan of hands. I'll sign it. I'll sign it. I'll sign it. I'll sign it. I'll sign it. I'll sign it. I'll sign it. I'll sign it. I'll sign it. I'll sign it. This is you, clan of hands. What do you think you're doing? You're complaining about the water, didn't you? Certainly I did, and I'm going to complain about it again. You said you wanted action, didn't you? Certainly I did. Well, you did, didn't you? Wait a minute. Where's that tree that was there? That's the tree. Oh, my. No, Leroy. What's the picture? Oh, it's super-uncle. It's called Here We Go Again. Here We Go Again? I've never heard of it. Well, I've heard of it now. It's got Sibabageth and Molly in it. Oh, my little chums. Well... And Edgar Burger and Colleen McCall. Well, for heaven's sake, that sounds great. dollar take your friends wait a minute there's a guy in it called the great guilty sleep never hurt though that's me what am I saying wait a minute LeRoy I'll get my hat and go with you good night everybody here we go again original music on this program was conducted by Billy Mills this is Frank Bingman speaking for the makers of tab set and inviting you to be with us again next week at the same time for the further adventures of the great guilty sleep a word for all youths, refugee women who are trying to keep the food budget on an even keel the product called craft dinner is just your dish or craft dinner gives you the economical way the quick way to make delicious macaroni and cheese fluffy tender macaroni drenched with cheese goodness with craft dinner you make it in just seven minutes cooking time you see every craft dinner package contains a special fast cooking macaroni and an envelope of craft grated so you can sprinkle in the cheese flavor in a hurry and say the family will go for this thrifty speedy macaroni and cheese they'll tell you it's as good as any you ever baked in the oven the old fashioned way why don't you get several packages of economical craft dinner tomorrow have it on hand in the pantry shelf a main dish ready in seven minutes is such a healthy busy day tomorrow ask your food dealer for craft dinner the program came to you from Hollywood this is the national broadcasting company