 Alright, thanks for staying with us. Now the 7th largest country in the world. Nigeria has Africa's highest case load of depression and ranked 15th in the world in the frequency of suicide according to the World Health Organization. There are less than 150 psychiatrists rather in this country of about 200 million people. I think it's over 250 right now. And WHO also estimates that fewer than 10% of mentally ill Nigerians have access to the care they need. It's safe to say Nigerians are going through a lot. Mental health care is in a sorry state given that we have more than 60 million Nigerians suffering from various mental illnesses and the fact that only about 10% of them were able to access appropriate care. So today we want to discuss mental health. The mental health of Nigerians. Mental health of us. All of us here seated and our citizens amidst this economic situation and the poor living conditions that Nigerians are faced with. Now please, let's hear what you have to say. Remember you can join the conversation. Send us an SMS or WhatsApp to 08180384663. You can also tweet at us at Weishio Africa one with the hashtag Weishio. Like literally every day I wake up and I'm having a headache. I do a little thing and I'm having a headache. Like there is the stress of Nigeria and there is the stress of Lagos. Lagos is on a whole new level of stress because again, sometimes when I have very important things I need to do and I need to wake up early, I have to leave my house say 430. That alone can take 10 years of my life. So right now, if you see me that I'm squeezing my face and I'm not smiling, manage me like that because mental health is real. Like it is really stressful. Let me hear your thoughts Jola. How are you coping? How are you coping? I'll come to you Gloria and I'll come to you Isi. Not so. I think for me it is a function of, every day, whoever you talk to, what you would hear is it is well or they try to invalidate whatever you're feeling or it's almost as if, don't make a mountain out of this mold. Everybody's feeling it. So please deal with it in your own way. And that is even frustrating. So for me, it's so hard to even talk about my daily challenges because nobody really cares. Nobody wants to listen. That's the truth. If I tell you my own and then you saddle me with your own, in fact that is double. So usually better to just keep quiet. Keep it, keep it, keep it. Let's move on to Gloria. Like she said, everyone is going through the year so most times people don't want to listen. I'll give a case in point. So this whole Naira note something. The thing has affected me, not in a way, but let me give an example. So the first time I noticed we had to buy our own currency, I was not taking it for the first time ever. So I'm with my brother at home and literally nothing he was doing made me happy. So he noticed the countenance change and he was trying to really like make me liven up but nothing. And guess what? It did not end there. Even to the next day I took it to the office and at the point I'm like what's wrong with you? I had to sit back and be like maybe is that something. I was not asking how can you buy so you're working so hard. I literally, I work so hard, mental work then I have to now still stand in queue to get my money or if I want to go to periods I have to pay for my own money. I was just like what is really going on? Gloria are you sure this is the kind of life you want to live? You know so all of that but then again not everyone understands it so even if I go and explain this to some people people just take it like that's a nice Nigeria. You see let me hear your thoughts. I would look at it from the perspective of what Norma visually says. She said that thank God we don't look like what we think and she has said this repeatedly on the show at some point you might think it's just a cliché but in actual fact thank God we don't look like what we've been through. So the mental health thing is crucial right now for everybody. We have to be mindful of what we let into our space basically and I have tried to do that to the best of my knowledge but however like I said earlier I'm looking forward to what So she has to say about this and to throw more life into what we can actually do to assuage what we are going through currently in Nigeria. Absolutely and I think I really need to hear Sochi's thoughts because for me I think it's more brain work I do and like Gloria said I can resonate with that that's why Muslims I have a headache because in my sleep I'm still thinking. I'm waking up I'm thinking I'm always with my laptop with my whatever correcting doing this there's a lot of work to be done and you know you now add that to your condition your living conditions it's just ridiculous so that's why again like you said you know you now begin to assess it that Koma Yui is a stupid person deciding to stay in this country again you now speak to your friends that have left the country and the things that we worry about that they don't relate anymore they can't relate anymore my friend had just left which day to UK to the UK you know she said if anything that legal straffing and her own she was now having issues water issues in her house a brand new house called Landlord Refuse to do anything she had a newborn baby it was just messy for her so she said I beg I'm so grateful that she left the country so just imagine so you now be thinking that Koma you sure you're not foolish this your patriotic you now reconsider it because that's the thing you now start looking at yourself like are you being foolish but let me bring in Tochi So Tochi is a lifestyle transmission coach with a mission to make fitness a lifestyle and a part of our culture she is the founder of the Excited Living Company a wellness company with a mission to create awareness and education to help individuals leave a wholesome experience the Excited Living Company teaches a seven dimension to wellness approach Tochi has worked with several women to transform their physical and mental well-being through her life coaching and fitness accountability programs now Tochi is passionate she's a passionate writer and she is she runs a columnist for the Vanguard newspaper and she's a friend of the house and we're bringing her back again and again thank you so much Tochi for joining us this evening I mean so this year we really want to concentrate and try to focus and very very focused on education and mental health wellness for our Wednesdays it's very important for us we can't toy with it we want to be able to stick to that and just keep pushing it and you know I mean you are not stranger to what is happening in this area first of all like is it okay for us to go through these things and is can our mental with the threshold can we actually take the number of stress that Nigeria is bringing to us so that in case I go mad I know that okay yes maybe it's okay it's valid do you get because I don't understand so we're not supposed to be going through and yes if we talk about threshold many people have and we saw the videos this last week people are stripping in the banks people are so frustrated so this is not how we're supposed to live and I keep saying that so people can be comfortable with feeling tired you have to be okay with knowing that you are exhausted oh no you have to be okay with that this is not normal existence and it shouldn't be so so you're talking about you not having sometimes just the desire to work like there's no light no no there's no food because you can't buy you can't buy because there's no cash so it's fair for Nigerians to understand and accept that they are exhausted and they should be and can be exhausted however because your mental health does not respect your location hi say it again it doesn't respect your location you still have to find coping strategies to get past what we're going through so we have to talk about how we can cope let's talk about things that we can do that we can move forward for one one thing I've done in this season is to limit interactions with strangers or new people because even last time I went to buy Boli and I parked buying my plantain and I told the lady I'm taking that one she said okay there was a guy standing there she asked the guy is that your Boli said no nobody's taking that one and she was about to wrap it maybe like three minutes later when the Boli was ready I just remembered this guy I didn't know what was coming I said give him so it's knowing when not to even respond recognizing that many many people are triggers everywhere it's just being released in different places so yes we have to understand that people and as much as we are allowed to be tired and exhausted we have to take some steps to manage I think yeah avoiding confrontation avoiding conversations that you know can lead there in traffic now there's no point to make a point that somebody caught you in traffic people are really upset and I think it's one of those things that we can do for ourselves to manage and limit conversations confrontations if you don't have to leave your house honestly maybe you don't if you don't have to maybe you don't as well but I always talk about exercise oh my god is it possible to talk about life without exercise we need to go for walks we need to go outside the house but honestly we are not supposed to be experiencing a level of trauma we are and I want to say to Nigerians watching you are allowed to be exhausted you really are it doesn't matter you are allowed let us soak this in for like two seconds we'll go out on a break we'll come back and come to your Jaila and Diori and easy for your questions stay with us we'll be right back alright so if you just tuned in we're discussing Nigeria today and we're discussing mental health the mental health of our citizens and we have with us Tokyo Carpo now please let's hear what you have to remember you can join the conversation send us an SMS 3 you can also tweet at us at Weshaw Africa one with the hashtag Weshaw alright so Jaila I'll come to you then I'll come to Diori I hear you when you say that it's okay to say that you know I'm maxed out but the question is who do you want to say to even if you say to yourself there is the you have to go on living you are accountable or answerable to different moving parts so I think that so my question to you is do you think honestly that mental health in Nigeria is a subject we're comfortable talking about I mean everyday we hear oh Nigerians we make a joke of it and we say oh we have a very high resilience we're very strong people you know all that and then when you say to someone I'm tired it feels like pardon me let me say it in Yoruba like what is wrong with you what have you done that somebody else has not done you understand so everyday that I keep thinking that we find a way we repress so many things and just find a way to just keep piling and piling at what point we even are we allowed to even say it out to other people not just to ourselves to other people and say you know what it is in I'm done right here and I need you to help me I need you to make things easy for me you know I think that is very fundamental for me you know so when it comes to mental health to be honest it's a new concept for us as a people we haven't been allowed to even as a child growing up in the Nigerian household we start to be less comfortable with expressing ourselves really young because as a young person in a home we don't really have a voice you're being shot down you're being shot down that's the standard practice so even when I don't know how many young girls sat down with their mom and expressed boyfriend conversations or you know all those kind of intimate conversations so mental health now is in that line of conversation because it is seen as a weakness which it is not and should not be so to answer your question you it's you holding yourself accountable for what you feel and knowing that what you feel is valid you finally able to express it to is now a different concern you might not have people in your circle that would understand so I would recommend that you seek help because if you're really tired in a way that you're losing pleasure for life maybe you're not getting up don't feel like getting out of bed in the morning that's really going into a space of depression it is time to look for somebody that will understand and listen to you but I find that most of our friends if you look in yourself there's someone that understands and you can speak to but aside from that we are all coming from a place of being conditioned in a certain way mental health is still a alien to us okay you permit me I don't just have one question so you talked about exercise not everyone has I know even before we came on live talking about exercise I know there was one time I wanted to join a gym and I was like what are you on the exercise what is it about you so I have not exercised so there are little things I do but I wouldn't really necessarily call it exercise so for some of us who cannot exercise which according to what you said solves about 90% of the mental or something how do we help ourselves in such a situation so I think let me just say exercise is a form of movement the core of mental health what has been proven to work is movement we are the gym but you can do stuff that takes your mind away from what you are thinking through but engages the body there are over 100 times of work you can just put on music and start dancing that is a movement so maybe not use exercise to limit yourself but move your body burn some sweat because sweating detoxifies you as well it helps the whole process so my next question is about anxiety okay something happened some time ago a friend of mine she suddenly got overwhelmed and she was shaky I wasn't really understanding but I think I have read a shallow about anxiety it is anxiety fear because sometimes whenever I talk about and some people just say stop being afraid is it deeper than being afraid what is anxiety really about mental health your anxiety is deeper than fear it is actually a disorder there is anxiety disorders they can be traced as far back as a traumatic incident that happened many years ago that hasn't been healed from or hasn't been talked about if there are triggers that remind you of that event it can lead to anxiety so anxiety is not just fear it's fear is part of it but it's also an actual disorder it's deeper than fear I have a friend that has high level anxiety she does have that so that's not fear it's a trigger of a traumatic incident sometimes you don't even know what the incident is which is when you see a therapist buried in your cell so there would just be something that would bring it out and you wouldn't even know you wouldn't even wonder what is going on let me come to you then you see please go ahead nice to see you again nice to see you again a long time you'll see them what's your take on this what's your take on this because you've talked about exercise being proud being the core of mental health what's your take on uncertainty and the positives especially when you have to be mindful of what you're going through so how do they correlate so how does uncertainty and what correlate I didn't get the other word we've talked about different things correct what I'm looking at now is uncertainty and picking to the positives in the least of the negatives basic so how we solve this situation in terms of being mindful of absorbing the positives in this context it's interesting I've watched a therapist speak to his clients and there are things that we have to accept that would never disappear like this situation we deny right now and the stresses that we're feeling until things change there will be that nervousness and anxiety in the environment so you can't live above your environment sometimes you can try in your mind but it's still a tricky one uncertainty, remember the therapist was saying one of the tools you must have to fight uncertainty is high level gratefulness because uncertainty is what life is whether we're going to be not sure what happens tomorrow the next minute for you to fight that is to do what you can do just live in the moment be grateful and let the things that are working be more of your focus that are things that you want to accomplish because I find that uncertainty is basically living in the future in the future because you don't know what tomorrow brings and all of that and it now brings all the anxiety it's interesting how you're talking about gratitude because I decided that this year for some strange reason this year I wake up every morning the first thing I put on my stage was grateful I do that deliberately telling God that you know what whatever it is, whatever I'm going through whatever the situation, whatever I'm on ground zero I'm grateful that I can even wake up to type it and I think, you know what that has done for me this is the year that I have had so many things happening all at the same time for some strange reason nothing is happening because it has elevated my spirit above what I can see what I can feel so I don't know how do we start to let people you know because again there was a time Oprah was talking about her gratitude journal or something these things are principles that work but people are not people are very very conscious of what is going wrong what is not happening right is that and you forget the million and one things that is happening and it is going smoothly right so how do we bring people out of that consciousness I'll take for instance this Naira thing you know that some of these people that go to queue on a normal day they will not go to the bar and drop money let me address that quickly our culture is we thrive on panic so that's first of all the problem I know someone that I asked what are you in the bank because everybody is queuing I don't want them to finish my money no you are in the queue in the sun your money is not going to fill they will not go to the bar but because of the uncertainty that Issy talked about that is in the air they are not sure what happens tomorrow it brings the anxiety it brings the panic it brings all the energies because I have been going cashless for a very long time anybody that knows me if you see money in my head I hardly have cash with me so I have done this cashless thing that happened in my head a long time ago so when I see people panicking because of cash cash not that I don't have money to transfer or whatever I told them I went to the market I just went to collect everybody's account number but when I go to my office I sat down on my laptop transferred money to all of them because that is my transaction I work oranges with transfers so how do we start to now make the shift let people begin to push away from what they cannot control because now the way I live it is what I can control I can't control how you think about me I can't control how you perceive me everything the only thing I can control is how I perceive you how I see you how I relate with you so how do we get more people into that bracket because I believe with that it will help us deal with some of the mental stress that we go through I think it was last year I was in the same I think as an entrepreneur in Nigeria we are forced to live in that space of uncertainty so much you are you are easily pushed in that bracket and I came up with the way I wanted to live and I said peace is the foundation on which prosperity is built the truth is that to make that shift you consciously first have to start with the generally you have to start with the tactics or the tricks of the trade in the initial stages you have to learn to catch yourself and breathe there's a work before it becomes a habit it's first a work it's first something you have to do intentionally which you would have to generally fight it's not a natural thing to you so it's unnatural for you to be to live in the moment but you have to start with that gratitude and being grateful listen to what you say once you start feeling pressure, stress quickly count three things now now, now, now once you do that it calms you down it makes you feel like it's not so bad if you can count even one thing it's not so bad and in a few minutes you would feel a bit more relaxed I started to do that also with breath work it's very powerful when you feel anxiety just stop and breathe do it five times you would start to question why was I panicking before the biggest thing is the work in the initial stages all those stages that give us all these nuggets it took years to get there the initial work is being in the moment and like I said it's a okay I'm feeling a bit I'm feeling stressed I'm alive as you're saying you just stop breathing better so I think that's the first stage just become conscious of the fact that some things are working count one or two and take it from there awesome, let's take comments quickly because we're running out of time let's take comments this one says good evening ladies and ladies, please kindly tell management to increase the one hour program to one anyhow to enable us ventilling you also started Street Vox Pop when you returned from Christmas break have you dropped the idea back to today's topic my take is that mental health issue is unfortunately not taken seriously because of lack of informed knowledge and fear of stigmatization but the best therapy is to avoid triggers by changing environment avoid heated arguments, walk away from toxic relationships temporarily and try yoga, God bless you this is Austin from Delta nice Austin, sorry Vox Pop is still very much on but for the one hour 30 minutes I will hide my mental health issue I know right thank you good evening my beautiful ladies of what are you saying your guest is just on point honestly speaking without any shadow of doubt your mental health does not respect your location that is the plain truth when you think about the stress in Nigeria when there is no light the traffic system in Nigeria is a total nightmare the increase in fuel and diesel and the recent one leaving Nigeria and cashless it's enough reason for someone to lose it mentally, God will help us in Nigeria God will help us in Nigeria so that our mental health will come back to normal thank you you have a final comment good evening to everyone average Nigerian are suffering mentally the originator of all these government officials and politicians politicians self interest there is a title here if government policies are implemented there will be less mentally challenged people in the society period because we know Nigeria is unique very uniquely crafted to stress my mental health Nigeria is pure cruise honestly while there are things that stresses you out we didn't go to the content creators sections for Nigeria you don't see a lot my watch is telling me to take a minute to breathe watch is right watch is telling me to breathe so how do we mix this balance right just to wrap up the conversation like in a minute what do you think right yes we have issues in our situation but our mental health is still very much important so if you had one thing to say for Nigerians watching what would you say I would say that be comfortable with feeling overwhelmed don't feel like you're lazy or you're not what's the word the word resilience has been thrown around so much as though it's a badge of honor but not supposed to be resilient in every day that's not English but you know what I mean so it's okay for you to feel overwhelmed but I would say look for a friend or a place you can go and detoxify let it be something healthy please you know so yes but be comfortable with feeling the way that you do feel this is not a normal experience we shouldn't have to go through this every day but we are here and like I said earlier your mental health does not respect your environment absolutely thank you so much I think we've had a fantastic ladies thank you Hissy thank you Diola thank you Gloria it's so interesting how more people are taking to alcohol drugs that's why she said something healthy that's why she said something healthy don't say you won't go I want to take out stress you go sit down for a bit no I said my own way watch ways okay thank you so much for watching now before we go follow us across all our social media show Africa you can interact with us further drop a comment and most importantly follow all our engagements like sharing invite your families and friends to watch and follow the conversation now if you missed our quote for today here it is again there is hope even when your brain tells you there isn't I mean just know that there is hope we'll see you guys live at 8 p.m. tomorrow as we bring another great conversation to your screen ciao