 Half presents the Great Gilder Sleeve. Yeah, craft. Half cheese company makers of Parquet Marchion and a complete line of famous quality food products presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. Craft brings you the Great Gilder Sleeve every week at this time written by John Wheaton and Sam Moore with Music by Claude Sweeten. We'll hear from the Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. We just made the interesting discovery that there are 600 ways you can enjoy Parquet Marchion as a spread for bread. And we came to this interesting conclusion thanks to a new book. Would you believe that this new book gives nearly 600 recipes for bread? So we figured it this way. Parquet Marchion tastes well on any kind of bread. And since there are nearly 600 varieties, well there's practically no end to the ways you can enjoy Parquet's fresh, delicate flavor on bread. And remember Parquet is highly nourishing too. It's one of the very best energy foods you can serve. What's more, Kraft guarantees every pound of Parquet to contain 9,000 units of important vitamin A. So be sure to buy Parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y, Parquet Marchion, a nutritious spread for America's bread. Don't forget Parquet is made by Kraft. Let us turn now to the Great Gilder Sleeve. For a week he's had as his house guest and had a forester who has volunteered to help straighten out his nephew and niece, a matter of which he's been happy to leave entirely in her hands. We won't say that Gilder Sleeve has been avoiding Aunt Hattie, but the pressure of business, the water department has suddenly become so great that for the last three nights he's had to stay downtown for dinner. And this morning his fatigue is such that he's allowed Bertie to persuade him to have breakfast served to him in bed, while the rest of the family have theirs downstairs. Breakfast upstairs, breakfast downstairs, thinking we have a hotel. Oh Bertie! Yes, sir? Then Leroy up for the newspaper, will you? I want to see where the Russians are. Yes, sir, I'll do that. Now try and eat nicely, Leroy, like Marjorie. Excuse me, Miss Forster. Yes, Bertie? Leroy, honey, run upstairs to your uncle with the newspaper, will you? I've got to take his tray out to the kitchen. Okay. Wait. Yeah? You can't be jumping up from the table in the middle of meals, Leroy. Then you shall breakfast. Put on gas for the paper. Yes, ma'am, he wants to see where the Russians are. The Russians can wait. They ain't done much waiting lately. I'll take the paper up for me, Leroy, so I can get a chance. Eat your breakfast. I left a bombardier past the buns. Bombardier to pilot, buns away. Marjorie. Welcome. Well, Nervy, what are you children talking about? That's air court talk. Shoot the buns along, will you, Aunt Hattie? Bertie! Uncle! Oh, this house. What did you say, Leroy? Shoot us a bun, will you? Is that any way to ask for it? Please, ma'am, have a bun. Yes, Leroy, you may. Thank you, Aunt Hattie. Really? Bertie! Oh, Bertie! Who's that man? It's him. He wants something. I'm coming, Mr. Sleeves. Oh, Bertie, just a minute. Yes, ma'am? Uh, tell me, does Mr. Kildersleeve often sleep through breakfast like this? Oh, he ain't asleep. He's just rested. It's because he's been working so hard these last few days. Are you kidding? Shut up. That's right. It's because he's been working so hard. Does he often feel to come home to dinner? No, he doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. Does he often feel to come home to dinner? Well, Jesse's last few days. But it's like Miss Marjorie said. It's on account of him working so hard. That's it. Yes, ma'am. He sure is a hard-working man, Mr. Kildersleeve. That's all he does is work. Work, work, work. He's a hard-working man. Yes, ma'am. He works hard. Well, be that as it may. We ought to stick to some kind of a schedule. After all... Oh, Mr. Kildersleeve, I was coming right up. Yeah, well, that's all right, Bertie. Good morning, Uncle Morris. Good morning, my dear. Addy, hope you'll excuse the bathrobe. I just thought if you'd finished with the paper. I was just saying the Bertie dropped Martin. I think it's important to the children that we establish some kind of a household schedule here and stick to it. Great idea. Hand me the paper, will you, Leroy? Thank you. Now, I thought if we had breakfast every morning at 7.30 sharp... I George those Russians. Do you hear me? Here's Mark Martin. I suggest breakfast at 7.30. Do you hear that, kids? And I think we should have lunch at one o'clock every day, Bertie, and dinner at 6.30. Yes, ma'am. You know, my great-grandmother on her father's side was part Russian. Oh, you can't stop the Russians. Or was she French? Mark Martin, are you listening? I said dinner at 6.30. Oh, I'm listening. Yeah, make a note of that, Bertie, dinner at 6. 6.30. And I think the hour before dinner should be the choir tower. When we all get together and just enjoy each other's company. That's the way it always was at home. Great idea. Well, what do you know? Harry Beck's gone through bankruptcy again. I wonder how many times that makes it. Now, we'll start by getting up at 7 o'clock every morning. All of us? All of us. Do you hear that, Aunt? Just do as your aunt says, my boy. Don't bother me. I'm reading. And we'll go to bed at 9. 9? Nobody I know goes to bed before 10. To bed at 9, Marjorie, with lights out at 9.15. You'll see what a difference it makes. You'll be glad to get up in the morning. And your uncle will find he can accomplish more, too. Wait a minute. Are you including me in this? I'm including everybody. A schedule isn't a schedule if we don't all take to it. Oh, now, Harry, after all, I'm not 16, you know. How do you expect the children to do anything if you don't set them an example? Either we have a schedule or we don't. Besides, the children will be much better off. I'm sure Leroy will get better marks in school if he gets plenty of sleep for a change. There's nothing to matter with Leroy's marks now. He got nothing but A's on his last report card. Didn't you, Leroy? Uh, yeah, yeah, that's right. We're none of us so perfect we can't improve. Even Leroy. Say, Hank. Yeah? Speaking of report cards. Yes? Never mind. I'll take it up with you later. What is it, my boy? Well, since you brought it up, I... I got my marks for the term. Where are they? I got my report card here in just a sec. Why haven't I seen this card before, Leroy? The new term started a week ago. Well, I forgot. Oh, you forgot? Well, I knew you were busy. Oh, I was busy. Well, I was gonna show it to you. I was gonna show it to you Monday. But it wouldn't spoil your weekend. Let me see that report card. There. What happened, Donk? I got all A's last time, remember? Teacher must have had it in for me. I'll tell you what happened. You didn't do a lick of work all month. That's what happened. Yes, I did. I worked hard. Didn't I, Marge? Didn't I, Gertie? You worked so hard you just barely got through with the skin of your teeth. Honest, huh? There's no excuse for this, my boy. No excuse, whatever. You're perfectly capable of doing good work. It's sheer laziness. If I, George, if I'd got those marks, I know what my father would have done. I've got a good mind to take you upstairs right now, young man, and... No, no, no, I'm clean. No, Doc Martin. Keep out of this, Hattie. Young man, go up to your room and remove your trousers. What wrong? You heard me take off your pants. Doc Martin, that's no way to handle a child. It's contrary to all child psychology. She's right. I'll do better next month. You take off your pants right now. He'll do nothing of the sort. I think I'd better go see somebody about something. Look, may I make so bold as to ask who's running this family? No one, evidently. Well... How can you expect a child to do any better in an environment like this? Yeah. What's the matter with this environment? It's a madhouse. Meals at irregular hours, children saying up as late as they please. You don't come home for dinner. You don't get up for breakfast. There's a reason for that. How can you expect them to mount to anything? Yeah. If you think that you can make up for your shortcomings now by beating the boy. Well, all I can say is I have no use for any man who would strike a child. Thanks, Aunt Hattie. You shut up. I think I'll go and call up Penny. You stay where you are. Who's me? Marjorie hasn't done anything to Doc Martin. That's right. Contradict me. Ridicule me. Turn my family against me. Oh, that's ridiculous. All right. Have your own way. Do as you like. Coddle the boy. Spoil him. From now on, I wash my hands of all responsibility. I wash my hands completely. Can't even be mastering my own house. Well, I George, I got a half a mind to go back to bed and stay there till Easter. You ever see him? Uh, uh, hello, Pee-Vee. Nice day. Is it? Don't like me if I'm wrong. I wouldn't know, Pee-Vee. I wouldn't know. Uh, uh, you mind if I sit down? Well, I don't know. I'll seat you first there for this convenience of our customers. Thank you. You look like a man who has something on his mind, Mr. George Lane. Pee-Vee, I want to complain about my sister-in-law. Do you mind? Uh, Miss Forrest. Yeah. You know what she's doing? She's trying to turn Leroy against me. Well, now, I wouldn't say that. Well, she is. She's tried to make me out a monster in my own home, a brute. Just because I try to maintain a little good old-fashioned discipline that wants me to spare the rod and spoil the child. Leroy been getting into a little devil-mentaging? Devil-ment? He darn near got frunked out of school. Okay, all right. I wouldn't worry about Leroy. He's pretty smart boy. That's just the trouble. He's smart enough to know that if he can get away with it this once, he can try it again. No, sir. The only thing that'll do that boy any good is a good-sound larrapin. Well, uh-huh. I know the type, Pee-Vee. I was one myself. And my old man gave it to me plenty. Well, of course I haven't any boys of my own. Mrs. Pee-Vee and I have often regretted that we haven't. But I've been trying to try kindness first. Oh, don't get me wrong, Pee-Vee. I love Leroy. Why, I'd cut off my own right arm rather than harm a hair of his little head. I'm sure you would. But why, George? He's either gonna cut out this loafing and get down to business or I'll thrash the living-living daylights out of him. You know, speaking of thrashing, it puts me in mind of a book I read as a boy, Little Man. Have you ever read Little Man? I seem to remember it vaguely. Louisa May Alcott, fine writer. Same lady who wrote Little Women. Yeah, I know. Oh, man. That's what I was about, Little Man. It's a boy's school. Well, one of the boys did something bad. I forget just what. And Professor Bear, who is a kindly old gentleman, instead of flipping the boy, he made the boy with him. What? Yeah, gave the boy a ruler, told him to hit him across the palm of his hand as hard as he could. What happened? Well, the boy just couldn't bring himself to do it. Because he loved the old gentleman. Professor Bear insisted, but the boy just couldn't do it. He threw the ruler down and ran off and cried his heart out. He never was a bad boy anymore. By George. I've always thought that was pretty smart, Professor Bear. Pretty sound psychology. Yeah. What's the joke meant to go this way? Thinks I'm a monster, does she? Calls herself a child psychologist, eh? Gonna teach me how to run my home, is she? PB, here's where I show up and happy. We hardly thought that you would be late for first thing. I'll be right with you, Hattie. Sit down if you want to. Where's Lee Roy? Oh, Lee Roy? Yes, madam. I want a word with you, Lee Roy. You wanted a word with me? Yes. I've been thinking over your school marks and how I ought to punish you for them. Now, Throckmorton, I thought we agreed. Please, Hattie, just leave this to me. I want you to go into my study, Lee Roy, and bring me the ruler, which you will find in the long desk drawer. You want this? You heard me? Go and get it. Throckmorton, I totally disapprove of this. You don't know what I'm going to do. You keep your eyes open, and you don't know what to do about child psychology. Bring me the ruler. Now, my boy, as punishment for what you've done, I want you to take this ruler and strike me across the hand with it as hard as you can. Are you kidding? I'm not kidding. That's your punishment. Go ahead, Lee Roy. Hit me. Gosh. Do you mean it? I mean it. Hit me. Hard. As hard as you can. Okay. Savage, if I catch you, I'll break every bone in your little body. And where do I see that peevee, him and Louisa May Alcott? We'll be able to do this again in just a few seconds. Speaking of variety in bread, how long has it been since you served Johnny K, gingerbread or muffins? Lots of families like these tasty breads. They like them even more, spread with delicious parquet margarine. First off, they like parquet because its flavor is so fresh, so delicate, so satisfying. And here's another reason parquet margarine goes over so big at mealtime. It's the smooth, easy way parquet spreads on bread. Why, even with crumbly breads like Johnny K or gingerbread muffins, parquet spreads on smooth, the easiest can be. And of course, parquet provides wonderful nourishment, too. Parquet margarine is high in food energy value, and it's fortified by craft, so that every pound contains 9,000 units of important vitamin A. So why are the quality margarine so nourishing, so satisfying, so smooth and easy to spread? Why parquet? B-A-R-K-A-Y. Now let's get back to the great Gilder's Sleeve and his augmented family. It's five o'clock in the afternoon, and there's an unaccustomed atmosphere of quiet and serenity about the house. The parlor is neat with no comic books or boxing gloves scattered about the floor. No banana peels in the first trays. Jealousy is such twiddling as thumbs in his easy chair, waiting for the quiet hour to begin and dreading it. Quiet hour. Hi, Gilder. Well, hello, Judge. Boy, am I glad to see you. Come on in. Thank you. I just wondered what you were doing this evening. Jolly Boy's meeting's called off. Horace, if you're at loose ends for the evening, you've come to the right place. We're starting a new thing here. Lots of fun. What is it? It's the quiet hour. The family and all the kids and all. We just sit around for an hour and enjoy ourselves. You want to sit in on it? I don't think so. Thank you, Gilder. I thought we might go to a picture or something. Oh, this'll be lots more fun than a picture. Stick around. No, I guess I'll just go home and read. Don't leave me alone here, Horace. Hey, why not stay for supper? No thanks. Well, sit down a minute and meet Aunt Hattie then. No, I've got to go, Gilder. Sorry. You like her, Judge? She's more fun than a barrel of monkeys. You're crazy about her. What are you laughing at? I hear different, Gilder. Have a pleasant evening. If we're all comfortable... My eye itches. Well, don't rub it. One of the pleasant ways to start the quiet hour is with music. Don't you think that would be nice, children? I guess so. And the best music is the music we make ourselves. I think it would be nice if Leroy would play for us. Leroy? Why, he's only taking lessons. Yes, Marjorie, but let's rest ourselves. Why does he take lessons? Boy, that's a $1 question. Yes, Leroy. Leroy studies music so he can give pleasure to others. But Aunt Hattie, nobody gets any pleasure out of Leroy's playing. I do. I think he plays very nicely. I think that if we're all quiet and Leroy plays something, we'll enjoy it. Don't you think so, Drockmorton? Well, go ahead and play Leroy. And you enjoy it, Marjorie. I'll try. All right, Leroy. Okay, what do I play? Something you know. Dancing snowflakes? No. What about the hunter in the woods? It's so corny. Oh, gosh, what do you expect? I'm only a boy. That's right, my boy. You play anything you want to. Oh, I know. Here's one I can play pretty good. Ladies and gentlemen, then you win. Fine. Leroy, very nice. I thank you. Suppose you save that for tomorrow night, Leroy. We don't want to run through your whole repertoire in one evening. No. I think it's time for a little poetry. Poetry? Yes. Do you know any poetry, Leroy? Nah. I know a little. I love it. She would. Now, Leroy, there's nothing the matter with poetry. Every educated person should learn to like poetry. Yeah? You must know some poetry, Leroy. Don't you even know any little nursery rhyme? Well, there's one. I don't know what you'd call it. I don't think it's a nursery rhyme, though. Oh, let's hear it. Nah. Recite it, Leroy. I don't think you'd like it. Recite. Okay. I woke up in the morning and looked upon the wall. There was a bee and a bed bug having a game of ball. Thank you. That'll do, Leroy. I know a poem I think is beautiful, Aunt Hattie. We learned it for English last fall. Oh, what is it? Annabelle Lee. What's it about? Oh, it's about a man and a woman, and they were crazy about each other. Leroy, go ahead and beside it, my dear. Okay. It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea that a maiden there lived whom you may know by the name of Annabelle Lee. Quiet, Leroy. I didn't say anything. Oh! Rock Martin. Go on, Marjorie. Oh, let's see. Won't you, I've forgotten, and now I'll have to start over. Oh, I've heard. Okay. It was many and many a year ago. Garbell, I'll answer it. Mrs. Ransom Hattie. Yes, I know. I do hope y'all will excuse me. I wouldn't want to interrupt anything. You aren't. Good evening, Miss Farrell. Good morning. Good evening, Mrs. Batten. Hello. Rock Martin, I just couldn't resist running over for a minute. Glad to see you anytime, Leland. Oh, you're a darling. Uh, Rock Martin, would you like to take me to the movies after supper? Well, I sure, Leland. Humphrey Bogarton, this new girl in the half of half-night, goes on at 9.15. I'm afraid he won't be able to go, Mrs. Ransom. We're on a new schedule here. Schedule? Well, yes. You see, I go to bed at 9 o'clock now, Leland. 9 o'clock? Well, mercy if you're in your doge. I think it's a wonderful idea. Rock Martin has family responsibilities, Mrs. Ransom. So are she. Don't get me wrong, Leland. We're trying this new arrangement. Oh, you don't have to explain, Rock Martin. If you want your beauty sleep more than you want a little sociability and enjoyment, it's all right with me. You don't understand, Leland. Oh, yes I do. Goodbye, Rock Martin. Leland! Excuse me, Harry. Leland, wait a minute. Why should I, Rock Martin? Come out on the porch, and I'll tell you. Leland, I can't let her know I'm going out. Why not? Well, it makes things to unpleasant, that's all. But look, she goes to bed at 9. I'll pretend to go to bed, too, and then I'll sneak out. How about it? It sounds a little salted, Rock Martin. Just practical. I'll be over at your house right after 9 o'clock. We should leave for the picture no later than 5 after 9. I'll be there. I'm pretty bogart, you say? And a new girl named Lauren Bacall. I'm dying to see the picture. It says they've discovered a new way to kiss. What's the matter with the old way? Oh, you devil you! I'll see you later, Leland. All right, 9-shop, yeah. Don't worry. Sorry to interrupt our little quiet hour, children. I had to talk a little business with Mrs. Ransom. Young man? Marjorie, suppose you go on with your recitation. Yes, by all means, Marjorie, continue. It was many long years ago in the country by the sea. Marjorie, okay. It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea that a maiden there lived whom you may know by the name of Marjorie. Bedtime? Already? Now, remember, Leroy, we agreed we'd go promptly. Is it really 8 o'clock? It certainly is. Marjorie's gone up already. Good night, my boy. Good night. Good night, Aunt Hattie. Would you like for me to tuck you in, Leroy? Are you kidding? Oh, I keep forgetting what a big boy you are. I'm sorry. Oh, that's okay. You can tuck me in if you really want to. No, you're too big. I'll just kiss you good night. Good night. Good night, Aunt. By George, I believe the kid's improving. How do you do it? Oh, it's not hard, Dr. Morton, with a little patience. I guess I haven't got any. He always makes me mad. Through with the paper? Here you are. You know, I always like to play a game of cribbage before I go to bed. Great. You play cribbage, and I'll read the paper. It takes her too to play cribbage, Dr. Morton. Too? Oh. Well, I'm sorry. I don't know how. That's all right. I'll teach you. But then... Don't worry. I've taught lots of people. Oh, Hattie, I'm not good at cards. I don't know a club from a jack. No, you learn, Dr. Morton. You learn, and you'll be crazy about it. 15-15-4, and a pair of six, and a double run is 12. Go. Go? I've explained that to you, Dr. Morton. Have you played? Oh, let's see. I've got a pair. Muggins. What? Didn't I explain Muggins to you? No. Well, when you make a mistake, I can call Muggins, and I get a point. That puts me out. Muggins. You mean the game's over? That's right. I won. Didn't you enjoy it? Oh, yes. Let's play one more. Oh, but Hattie, it's almost nine o'clock. Well... Kind of tired tonight. Yeah. It's about time to turn in. Get a little old, good old shut-eye. Well, I suppose we'd better stick to our schedule. Yeah, that's right. Regularity, that's the thing. Dr. Morton. Ah. I didn't want to bring you up while the children were here. But this is Mrs. Ransom. Where is her husband? Oh, he died a couple of years ago. Are you sure? Yeah, yeah. Why? Well, she looks like a divorcee kind to me. Now, Hattie, she's a very nice woman. Well, I dare say she's all right in her way. It's none of my business anyway. Well... Let's play one more game of cribby's clock, Morton. But Hattie, it's nine o'clock. It's two minutes after nine. What's the difference? One game, maybe 15 minutes. The important thing is to be sound asleep by 10. I've got to be sound asleep at five after nine. Oh, silly. One game. Now, come on, I'll deal. Yes. I remember when I taught my sister Hilda to play cribby's. She didn't like it at first, and then after a while, she was crazy about it. I'll never learn it. Oh, yes, you will. You're catching on very fast. Pick up your hands, Morton. But I don't want to play. No, no, no. These are the ones you'll pick up. You can't find it, Hattie. Now, who on earth can that be? I have any idea. I'll answer it. No, no, no. Let me answer it. Well, go ahead and answer it, Brockmorton. No, I guess I better not. Shall I? No, no, don't answer it, Hattie. It's probably just somebody who wants to complain about the water department. I've told them not to switch those calls here. Let it ring. Let it ring. Well, Brockmorton, go ahead and play. It's your play, Brockmorton. Brockmorton, your play. Oh, muggins. Inviting you to join us again next week at the same time for the further adventures of The Great Guild of Sleep. Good night, Mr. Kraft. It's sure to add flavor sparkly to your meals is Kraft's salad mustard. This tangy golden salad mustard is prepared to Kraft's own special recipe. It's a creamy smooth blend of choice, stone ground mustard seed, fragrant spices, and melodramatic vinegar aged to develop a finer, more delicate flavor. And remember this tangy Kraft salad mustard can be used in foods and on them with taste-tingling results. Love that credit. It adds a grand flavor tang to salad dressings, works up cream sauces you pour over hot-foot vegetables, zips up the flavor of egg and cheese dishes. Kraft's salad mustard is a real-flavored treat on sausage and cold cuts, too. And say, there's another zestful variety, Kraft mustard with nippy horseradish added. Your dealer has both kinds, and they're both delicious. Ask for Kraft horseradish mustard and tangy golden Kraft salad mustard.