 You did badly on a test, and now you feel bad for scoring solo in class. That's normal shame. You did badly on a test, and now you feel you will never amount to anything because you are a failure. That's toxic shame. Dr. Jacqueline Simon Gunn, a Manhattan-based clinical psychologist, says, Shame is not always a harmful emotion in its milder forms of shyness and humility, but toxic shame destroys self-esteem and fuels the negative emotions in depression and anxiety. Victims of trauma and abuse are especially susceptible to toxic shame. Unlike guilt, which motivates a person to change their behavior, toxic shame makes a person feel as though change is impossible. Accumulation of these feelings of toxic shame ultimately lead to shame-based depression, says licensed professional counselor Rachel Addent. Here are five ways you can recognize toxic shame. I'm a burden to those around me. Living with shame-based depression often leads to you avoiding relationships. Your internal critic continually judges and criticizes you, telling you that you are inadequate. You're worried you might be inconveniencing others and that others might retire of you, so you hold back from being your true self or asking for emotional support. Research in the annual review of psychology shows that shame leads people to hide and self-conceal, sometimes even going as far as withdrawing completely from the real world. You feel you aren't worthy of being happy and purposefully undermine your happiness because you're convinced you're undeserving. I must make up for things that are not my fault. I'm to blame for what happened, it's entirely my fault. Shame-based depression causes you to internalize everything that happens. You apologize even for things that are not your fault and blame yourself for things that you cannot control. A 2016 study published in the Journal of Psychology found that shame is associated with the suppression of emotions. You often keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself. This way you avoid speaking your mind in an attempt to keep things on course and improve the situation. You try to compensate for feelings of unworthiness by pleasing others and being exceptionally giving. These can only help temporarily and ultimately make matters worse. A never-ending downward spiral of despair or hopelessness. Struggling with shame-based depression is often accompanied with feeling worthless and anxious. Knowing that there's things to do and being unable to do them makes you feel helpless. You experience shame anxiety, an undermining and persistent anxiety about being judged, labeled, and rejected by others. Research published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy found that shame can be a contributing factor to depression, anxiety, and codependency. The ADAA reports that close to half of people diagnosed with depression are also diagnosed with anxiety. You believe in avoidance of future shame. Shame-based depression all but binds you from taking risks. This is in an attempt to defend against being devalued by others. According to a study in the Journal of Psychological and Cognitive Sciences, when struggling with shame-based depression, you keep yourself from making decisions that may lead to further disapproval by others. Low self-esteem that plagues depressed individuals leads them to fear more rejection or failure, says Councillor Margaret Wernberg. So even if you contemplate trying to do something, you hold back because you fear that you won't do it well or be judged negatively. But sometimes this can also lead to avoiding healthy risks. You only make decisions about jobs, relationships, and school that you feel certain will end well. Thinking, I'm a bad person, not I did a bad thing. Author Brunei Brown defines guilt as understanding you messed up and did something wrong, but you're able to move on from the action and not have it become a failing or flaw. Shame is when you connect the action with who you are as an identity. We're all human and make mistakes. With shame-based depression, you think you're a bad person and incapable of getting it right, so you often quit. You believe you're unworthy of love and you continue in that same vein because you don't believe that change or healing is possible. Recognizing these feelings of toxic shame can help be the first step in battling shame-based depression. Challenging them needs time and practice. Treating yourself with compassion can dissolve toxic shame. You don't have to go through this alone. Learning coping techniques with a mental health professional can help you take additional steps to overcome shame-based depression. I know from first-hand experience. If you found this video helpful, please give it a thumbs up and share it with your loved ones. We value your support and can't wait to bring you more informative content in the future. Take care and we'll see you soon.