 I'm the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man, and I'm here to read the bunnies to you happy boys and the honeys. Yes, boys and girls, it's comic weekly time, and here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages have popped the comic weekly straight into your living room. Here, friend, the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man. Hello. Well, little Miss Honey, how are you today? I'm just fine, and I've got another riddle. You do? Yes, listen. Why is a pig in the parlor like a house on fire? Oh, that's very interesting. Why is a pig in the parlor like a house on fire? Uh, because... No, no, no, that can't be the answer. Oh, because... No, that can't be the answer either. Because the furniture would be destroyed by its running around. No. Oh, this is a hard one. I give up. Why is a pig in the parlor like a house on fire? Because the sooner the better. Oh, that's very sensible. The sooner you put a pig out of the house, the better for the house. And the house. Yes, and for you too. Very, very good. Now could we please read the bunnies? Pop the comic weekly. Very well, I'll read that in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Now here we go with Pop the comic weekly. And on the first page, under bringing up father, Beatle Bailey. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Toot me a toot and tweet me a tweet. Squeeze out music for Bailey the Beatle. Today, Beatle and his friend Killer are griping about life in the army. Killer says, Yeah, we'd probably get out of the army soon enough. They could get more guys to volunteer. Beatle answers. And maybe the army recruiting program isn't good enough. They should advertise like civilians do. Yeah, I can see a billboard. And in his mind, Killer sees a billboard sign along the highway. Try the army. It's good, good, good. Our hikes are 10% longer. Yeah, and I can hear the radio announcers. The US army has been tested by over 20 million men, except no substitutes, satisfaction guaranteed, or you're aching back. And how about newspaper and magazine ads with a picture of a pretty girl? And last picture top row, we see a magazine ad of a blonde dressed in a bathing suit holding a rifle. And the words, Send in the box stuff from a package of GI mush and get free without charge. One fancy printed draft notice signed by the president. Only one to a customer. Yeah, and don't forget television. And first picture bottom row, we see a picture of a general on a TV screen. And the announcer is saying... More generals prefer the US army than any other army, according to an independent survey. In New York, called Driftwood II, 5049. In Los Angeles, called Glufoot 8, 9165. A free set of corn plasters with each enlistment. Yeah, and how about a singing commercial? The US army hits the spot. Two week furloughs, that's a lot. You get hash for dinner too. The US army is to run for you. Yeah, great, great. Just then in comes the sergeant. Hey, serge, we're working on the biggest promotion plan of the century. Yeah, we'll clean up. Yeah, well I got a plan too. You listen, you guys. And last picture, beetle and killer are on their knees, scrubbing the floor. He shouldn't put these ideas in his head. Hey, how's this far warned, that killer? Health wanted, ape, the gorilla kind. No experience, no brains, no nothing. To be a sergeant in the US army. I want those ideas the boys had for getting more men to join the army. It's funny. Yes, they were. And they weren't so bad either, were they? Well, I'm not sure. All I know is it's certainly got beetle and killer into more hard work. He has this poor beetle. Well, now let's turn over the page. And we'll read your favorite, favorite right now. Here we go with Donald Duckle. Say the magic words with me. Squeeze them, squeeze them, squeeze the chicken track. Let's stop music to play the quack, quack. Donald is taking his girlfriend Daisy for a drive. They go past a store that shows a beautiful new automobile in the window. Oh, look, the new... Daisy looks at the new car in size. Oh, don't you love that distinctive this tail-sender design? See how it's upholstered. And last picture top row, a salesman is showing Donald and Daisy the car. Classic simplicity, sir. Yeah. Now, what's it fell for? First picture bottom row, the salesman smiles. A mere 10,000, sir. Donald's hat pops off. 10,000. He grabs Daisy's hand. Let's get out of here. Oh, dear, I love those fish tail fenders. 10,000 for fenders? Five. A short time later, Donald is in the paint store. 40 pounds of plastic molding clay, please. Yes, sir. And next day, Donald is taking Daisy for a drive in his car again. Daisy is looking over her shoulder in disgust. For Donald's rear fenders look exactly like two fish. Donald is saying, Quit griping. It's fishy over there. Oh, that molding clay and their fish. And then fasten them to his rear fenders. So now his car has fish tail fenders too. But Daisy doesn't like them. No, I'm afraid she doesn't. They look too fishy for her. Oh, that way. Well, now I'm sure you'd like to know what's happening to Princess Mary and the sword and the rose. Oh, yes, please. All right, then let's go past Prince Val. Turn over page three. Go past page four. Turn over page five. And... Oh, look, there on page seven is the sword and the rose. Yes, sir, read. And I like this story because it's in the early days of England. When Henry was the king. And his sister, the Princess Mary, had fallen in love with Charles Brandon, who was captain of the king's guard. But Henry wanted the princess to marry the king of France. But the princess didn't want to. And she ran away with Charles Brandon. But the king captured them and had them brought back to the castle. And the king has said that Charles Brandon is to be executed unless the princess promises to marry the king of France. And the princess said she would save Charles Brandon's life. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with the sword and the rose. It's Mary, Mary, England when knighthood was in flower, music to bewitch Charles' story hour. The princess has agreed to marry the old king of France in a desperate move to save the life of Charles Brandon, the man she loves. King Henry turns to the chancellor. Well and good. Inform the French ambassador, the marriage goes forward. Mary asks her brother if Charles Brandon will be released from the tower. No. We'll set the prisoner free after you become Louis's queen. Till then, Buckingham will be his warden. And the king stalks out of the ruin. First picture bottom row, the princess Mary tells the Duke of Buckingham that since she cannot see Charles again, would he please tell Charles of the cruel bargain forced upon her by the king? Buckingham replies, I will, my lady. And Mary asks, and you will set him free as soon as I wed King Louis? Be assured, my lady. Meanwhile, a lonely man waits despairingly within the grim walls of London Tower. Days lengthen into weeks, and still the perfidious Buckingham fails to tell Brandon of the princess Mary's sacrifice. And last picture, Brandon looks through the iron bars to the skies, wondering what will be the fate of himself and the princess he loves. And the Duke of Buckingham is not keeping his word to Mary. He isn't telling Brandon what's happened. Or if there's someplace where they could be happy. So was I. Now what will happen? Well, I'm afraid we'll have to wait until next week to find that out. But now let's turn over to the very last page of the first section. Titan, where he discovered a huge, big giant, almost as big as a building. And Flash finally had outwitted the giant and it captured him. I captured him because he's asking and turned it upside down. Let's see right now what Flash does do with this giant. Here we go with Flash Gordon. Rigger, Rigger, Doon, Doon, Sasuke, Matash. Let's have music for heroic Flash. Flash and his men have bound the giant hand and foot before releasing him from the trap that Flash had caught him in. The giant had then been carried aboard the rocket ship and locked up in a cell. They've blasted off and are now on their way back to Earth. Now they are homeward bound. The expedition to Titan has been a success. And now Flash and his crew are rocketing back to Earth with samples of plant life and a giant locked in a sturdy cell. Midas, the troublesome one of the crew, says to Flash, If we play smart, we can make lots of do with that giant. He'll be the eighth wonder of the world. Flash answers. Forget it, Midas. This is a scientific expedition, not a circus. Last picture top row, the pilot announces, Hey, there's rockets humming like a sewing machine. If the dials read right, we ought to catch sight of Mother Earth soon. Midas says. Well, the sooner the better. When we get back to Earth, Captain Gordon will find that this crew's too smart to toss away a chance to make big money. Flash looks at Midas with disgust. First picture bottom row. Midas goes on. Look, Gordon, I discovered Titan and I got this expedition financed. When we land, we'll sell the giant legally and we'll be rich. If Gordon doesn't want to get into the deal, it's okay with me. Then to your business, Midas, or both you and the giant will disembark in irons. Suddenly Midas turns to the rest of the crew. You guys gonna let him get away with it? You gonna let him stand in your way? And the pilot shouts, Hey, Flash, you better give landing instructions. We're home. Flash goes to the porthole. He looks down and there is home. The welcome sight of Earth's familiar contours down below interrupts the argument. The breaking rockets are set off. And then as the land looms up, expressions of joy and relief turn to bewilderment, and then shock, and then finally fear. Oh, no. Can't be. It can't. It's trouble all the time. Yes, he is. I wonder what they see on Earth that makes them afraid. That will really be something to look forward to next week. Yes, it will. Now it's time to pick up the first page of the second section. Yes. Now read that in just a moment, but first here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Now here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly, and on the first page of the second section, Dagwood and Blondie. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Have a food, have a foam, sim, sim, zombie. Conjury music for Dagwood and Blondie. Dagwood is going to give the pups a bath today. So he goes out into the backyard to get them. All right, puppies, come here, come here. Papa's going to give you a nice bath. Hey, come back, come back. Don't run away. Dagwood takes after the pups, makes a leap and grabs one. They catch one another, going to get a bath. Dagwood's neighbor, Herb Woodley, dashes after another. I'll help you, pal. Last picture top row, Dagwood carries two pups that he and Herb have caught down into the basement. Here, I'll lock these two in the laundry until we catch the rest of them. He shoves them into the laundry room and closes the door. First picture second row, as Dagwood comes out of the house, Herb meets him at the doorstep carrying another angry puppy. Boy, he was fast. When I caught him, and a neighbor lady comes up carrying another pup. Oh, I caught one for you, Mr. Bumpstead. Oh, wonderful, wonderful. And a moment later, Dagwood is shoving the two other pups into the laundry room. Gee, our neighbor's a segran. The way they pitch in to help when you need them. Last picture second row, Dagwood comes out of the house again and is greeted by two more neighbors carrying two more pups. Here's one, another one. Oh, thank you, thank you. Come, Pupsy, come on. First picture third row, Dagwood closes the door on the six pups. Here, now, I'll put on an apron and get the water ready. A moment later, he's upstairs in the back steps. Three neighbors come up carrying three pups. I had to chase this one a mile, but I caught him. Here's another one. Yes, and here's another. Dagwood looks down the street, last picture third row, and he sees Herb Woodley coming up. Here, triple more, Dagwood. And all down the street, he sees people coming toward his house carrying dogs. Here's one. And Dagwood goes and dashes into the house. First picture, bottom row. I put 16 of them in the laundry already. They dash down to the basement and look into the laundry room and they see the laundry window is open. And, of course, the dogs had gone out as fast as they were put in. And last picture, Dagwood is dashing down the street again, trying to catch the pups again as his tired neighbors watch. Help! Isn't anybody going to help me? And Herb Woodley looks at Dagwood and disgusts and yells, Catch him yourself! That was a good look on Dagwood. Putting the dogs in the laundry room and forgetting to close the window. He was quite a surprised man when he saw the neighbors bringing pups from every direction. Yes. Yes, he thought he had 42 pups. Now he has to catch them all by himself again. Yes, because the neighbors are all tired out. Well, let's now turn over the page and see who's there. The second section, there's Roy Rogers. And is he in trouble? Yes, he is. Because, remember, a little boy had found a saddle on a dead man's horse and he had taken the saddle and ridden away with it. And Roy had taken the boy to town to talk to the niece of the man who had been killed. And while he was inside the store, those two men slipped into town and one of them held that little boy named Chili while the other one took the saddle off of the horse. And as Roy came running out the door, the man named Cash tripped him, giving his henchmen, the one named Gaffer, time enough to run off down the street. I wonder, will he get away with that saddle? Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Roy Rogers, King of the Cowboys. Ah, yip-a-yo. Now here we go with Roy and Trigger. Roy has been tricked by Cash, the leader of the two men. As he scrambles to his feet, he sees Gaffer galloping off down the street, carrying the saddle that Chili had found. There he is, Sr. Roy. The homebody who steal the dead man's saddle I find in Stone Canyon. While Trigger can catch him, Chili, I'll be back and settle with Cash Baxter later. Marge Preston, the niece of the man who was killed, has seen that the man who helped Gaffer get away with the saddle is Cash Baxter, known in town as a gambler. She goes to see him. She asks him why he's so interested in her uncle's saddle, and if there's some connection between the saddle and her uncle's murder, Cash sits down and begins toying with a pack of cards. Uh, maybe we better ever talk, Miss Preston. You better tell Roger to quit snooping into your uncle's killing. Last picture top row, he adds, that saddle contains proof that your uncle, Pape Preston was as crooked as a stacked deck. First picture bottom row, Roy, who is after Gaffer, is closing in on him. The boy Chili shouts, We got on Gaffer, Sr. Roy. He head for Stone Canyon. Stay back, Chili. He may shoot. That saddle, he still must be valuable. He won't give it up without a fight. The chase leads into the mountains. Ten minutes later, Gaffer looks over his shoulder and suddenly exclaims, Oh, blast it. The saddle is slipping off. Whoa! Last picture, he rides up to a cliff, jumps off his horse, runs to the edge of the cliff and then jumps. A second later, Roy rides up and rains in. A great gunch, Chili, he's jumped over the cliff, and he's taken a saddle with him. Watch, Gaffer, then he jumps over the cliff. Yes, and with the saddle. I wonder if he'll be killed when he goes over like that. I wonder too. That's a mighty dangerous trick. Yeah, extra's right about what he said to that deal about her uncle was a crook. Well, maybe we can find out more about that next week. Now, let's turn over to the very last page of the Comic Weekly. And here's Dick's adventure. And you remember California and gold had been discovered. And everybody had left their homes, their jobs, and their stores to run off to dig for gold, hoping to get rich. And Dick and his friend John Kimball went too, because they were working on a newspaper and they wanted to write up the story. Yes, and they'd helped Mr. Sutter, who had been beaten up by a bunch of men who were digging for gold in his land. And then Dick and Mr. Kimball rescued Mr. Sutter and took him home. Yes, but they didn't see that outside in the yard some strange figure was stealing their horses. I wonder who that is. Well, let's read and see if we can find out. Here we go with Dick's adventure. Say the magic words with me. Riggity-pack-zack-zick. Let's have music for adventurous Dick. Discovering their horses had been stolen. Dick and Mr. Kimball dash off on foot in angry pursuit of the thieves. Last picture's hot row. From a rocky height, they see Pick Pan, the swindling ex-ferriman, apparently trying to sell the horses to a group of gold seekers. First picture's second row. Dick and Kimball dash down the hill. They run up to the men. Kimball interrupts. All right, just a minute here. Just a minute. This man here is trying to sell you stolen horses. Yes, he just stole them from us. They're ours. Oh, stolen, huh? Well, I guess it's no use talking to him anymore. Come on, men. Let's go. Kimball turns to Pick Pan and seizes him by the collar. You've caused trouble enough. Now, this year, a whole gold rush is just a fake. No one is gaining by it. Let me go. Then, suddenly, Pick Pan's whole manner changes. Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I admit I lost my head and acted the way I had in order. Why don't you two fellas come along with me and give the gold us to fair trial? I know this country and I can be of help to you. First picture, bottom row, Kimball looks at Pick Pan, not thoroughly trusting him, but he decides. All right, we'll give you a chance. Lead the way. All right, mount up, Jensen. Follow me. Yeah, but where do we look for gold? Like I said, just follow me up this way. Last picture, they ride along the bank of the American River to join the army of frenzied gold hunters already in action, all around them. All right, Jens, you're going to join up where this million is? Yeah, we ain't stopping here. We're going to go where we can make 10 million. No, no, I feel like Mr. Kimball. Well, that means an equal. Well, at least, I don't have to worry about it. Do you think he'll lead Dick or Mr. Kimball into a trap or something? Well, we'll have to find out about that next week. But now, look below Dick's adventures. There's Rusty Riley. Oh, yes, and Tex got back to Mr. Miles' farm with a new horse called Silver Lad, just in time for Mr. Miles to prove to that rich man from South America that the best horses that he could buy were on the milestone farm. And Velvet Cain, who tried to stop the deal, lost out. And Senior Calderas is going to buy his horses for Mr. Kimball. Senior Calderas is going to buy his horses for Mr. Miles, and that saves Mr. Miles' farm. Yes, because he needed the money. We'll move back on the farm. Well, let's read and find out. Here we go with Rusty Riley. Get up and run till the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. Senior Calderas has paid Mr. Miles for the horses. Mr. Miles is a happy man now. His farm is safe and Rusty is back. First picture bottom row, his daughter Patty and Rusty are taking a walk around the farm. She's led him down by an old mill by the creek that Rusty used to play in. Rusty stops and surprises. There's a big change. The building has been remodeled. There's a box office and a poor child. And a big sign reading. County Playhouse. Rusty exclaims, Wow, it's all rebuilt. Hey, what's that sign, County Playhouse? Patty tells him that it's been changed into a theater to put on plays during the summer. A man waves to them. They walk over to him, third picture bottom row. Hey, are you kids from that big horse farm? We need a horse for next week's show. You think we could hire one that ain't skittish? Well, maybe you can, mister. You better see Tex Purdy. He's the manager of the milestone farm. Come on, I'll introduce you to him. Meanwhile, in the home of the wealthy Mrs. J. Funston Castle, the short distance away, Mrs. Castle is talking with her daughter. Now, really, my dear, I don't mind you amusing yourself by playing a part in that play, but is it wise to wear those real pearls? You don't know these people? And the daughter answers... Oh, mother, don't be stuffy. You've been reading too many whodunits. Oh, it certainly is. And isn't it interesting that there's a theater on the milestone farm? Yes, really. Oh, you'll bet it is. But oh, oh, I smell trouble. That means that there might be a robbery. Well, we'll find out more about that next week. Now, that's all the time I have. But before I go, here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information. Well, honey, and all your boys and girls, I've got to go now. All right, next week. Okay, that's the date. And a date for all your boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with our little friend, Miss Honey, next week when I read part the comic weekly. For I'm the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man. I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend, the comic weekly man. The jolly comic weekly man.