 Okay, so, originally I was going to teach a different presentation. I was originally going to title my presentation How to Be Super Awesome and Bang a Ton of Chicks, but instead I recently put together a model that I think is basically the most comprehensive thing I've seen. I don't want to call it my model because it's not anything that I created. It's something that I worked on with a lot of different people. I was like Brad P, El Topo, AFC Adam back there who's fucking awesome and super underrated. He was actually really instrumental about that. You guys should definitely listen to everything that guy has to say. So I was like, there's got to be some way to put all this stuff together because I've been out with Tim, I've been out with TD, I've been out with Brad P, I've been out with the Pick Up 101 guys. They all do different stuff, but it all works. So there's some underlying principles under all of this stuff that everything's going for. My second problem with basic, like I don't know if you guys know who I am, but I was the lead instructor at Mystery Method from 2005 till this year and my major problem with Mystery Method was that there's the idea of static phases, right? It's the idea of one, then this, then this, which just isn't really how life works. Anyone who's been out in the field knows that. So I've had a bunch of these concepts swirling in my mind for a couple of years and then this last week I was writing the Lay Report book and I was actually reading some of Adam's stuff and he had a concept in there called Break Comfort, Build Report, Break Comfort, Build Attraction, rather, which is an original concept of Adam's that really tied a whole lot of this stuff together. So what I want to do is I want to get a little audience participation here. So who thinks they know the most about Pick Up in this room? Who's like an encyclopedia of Pick Up knowledge? This guy's getting pointed at Amanda. All right, let's bring, come on, come on. Yeah, don't put your hand up if you're not coming up. The guy in camouflage, all right, come on up. We're gonna use the guy, it's all good. I know you get shy on camera, it's cool. All right, I was gonna give away a free copy of the Lay Report book, but fuck you guys, you guys get nothing. All right, so I'm gonna throw a couple concepts out there, a couple different models I want you guys to kind of teach me. So Dan, you know Mystery Method, right? Can you break down Mystery Method for me? What are the stages, what are the phases? There's three stages. Okay. Open. Okay, stage, that's a phase. Okay, phase. Basically, the M3, who knows the M3 model? All right, someone come up here and knows the M3 model. You guys can sit down. Like down? Yeah. Cool, so you will get a free copy of the Lay Report book for coming up here, so this is my new book. It's a compilation of the best LRs in the community, so all right, so M3 model, what's the first phase? Yeah, absolutely, go for it. The attraction. Okay, what are the three phases of attraction? A1, A2, A3. Which is A1. A1. Open, right? A2, male to female attract, right? A3, female to male attract. What about the second phase? Second phase, comfort. Okay, what are the three phases of comfort? Build rapport, right? Report trust and intimacy. What about S? I'm just gonna basically teach it at this point. I know more than stealth, how about that? What's up? I know more than stealth at least. Yeah, there you go. And then there's three phases of seduction too, right? You know what those are? Nope. It's arousal, last minute resistance, and sex. Okay, what other methods do you know out here? You know Stiles five point escalation method? No. Okay, Stiles got a method that's like, this is a failed experiment. This is why you don't do audience participation when you don't know what the answers are. Anyway, we'll keep rolling. I wanted a free book. You got it. So Stiles got this five point structure that's like something to open with, something to build attraction, or something to demonstrate value, something to make a physical connection, something to make an emotional connection, something to close, right? Then you've got, who else has a model out there? You've got Brad P, right? Brad P does something where he does attraction and then arousal, right? You've got guys like El Topo who you guys are gonna hear from tomorrow, who's awesome, who does a lot of hooking into comfort right away. So there's a bunch of these different models. You can grab a seat. Cool, yeah, good to meet you. So you've got all these different models out here and I was like, there's all this different stuff that's happening. How can we tie all this stuff together, right? So the first thing was we need to redefine what everything is, right? So the first thing I wanted to do was I wanted to redefine in phases what different kind of comfort or whatever you wanna call them are. So this is what I came up with, right? You've got three phases of comfort, right? You've got three types of comfort rather. The first one is superficial comfort, right? Superficial comfort just means you're comfortable having an interaction with that person, right? It means you didn't creep them out. You didn't do anything where they wanna run away. You don't look like an axe murderer. They're gonna actually talk to you. Second one is what we call rapport, right? The basic idea of the comfort phase in the community is rapport building. Getting to know someone, filling in the empty canvas of your life, whatever you wanna call it. It's where we start to actually open up and share things. And then the third one is sexual comfort. Comfort in a sexual situation. So the reason I looked at this is like all of these phases are gonna come together, but it's really important to draw these distinctions because without that, people just say, oh, I was in comfort. Well, there's a bunch of different places you can be in comfort, right? Like the model is cyclical. Things cycle. Attraction, comfort, and seduction can all happen at the same time, right? That's why you see lay reports by me of like five, 10 minutes, right? It's not cause I'm running through all these phases in a condensed thing. It's that the girl was in seduction and I just took advantage of it. So we really wanna be clear on what our phases are. The second thing we have to do, right, is who thinks they know what the most important phase of pickup is? Who wants to shout something out? What do you guys think? Comfort? Nope. Nope. Qualification. Qualification is the difference between getting the girl and not getting the girl. It really is, it's the most under taught thing and it's the most important thing in the entire phase of getting girls, like having sex, getting relationships. Qualification works on two basic mechanisms which are compliance and investment. Get the girl to comply, get the girl to invest in the interaction. So there's also three types of qualification. This is gonna become really important because what is qualification? It's a mechanism. It's a mechanism that we use to travel throughout the phases. Qualification is how you move from phase to phase. In classic M3 model, even in the emotional progression model, qualification comes before comfort. It's the bridge into comfort, right? Well, there's also three different types of qualification, something that a lot of people haven't talked about. So what are the three types of qualification? The first one is the idea of standards. This is kind of like the cutesy, funny qualification stuff that most people do. Swing Cat wrote a whole book about standard qualification, right? Where you go, can you cook? Oh my God, I can't even talk to you anymore, right? That's stuff where you're not really building any emotional investment or compliance, but you're demonstrating that you have standards which builds a little bit of attraction. The second type is compliance-based, right? You have compliance-based attraction. Hey, hold this for a second. Hey, come over here, right? Compliance, you invest in the interaction. Even asking a deep question, saying something like what would you wanna be if you could be anything in the world with no chance of failure? That's an idea of compliance qualification because she's not gonna have that level of compliance with some bum off the street. You can think about it like this. If you walk up to Bill Gates, if Bill Gates walks up to you and he's like, hey man, tell me what's special about you. You're gonna be like, oh my God, I'm this, that, or the other. Can I have some money? Whereas if a bum on the street comes up to you and is like, what's special about you? You mace him in the face, or at least I do. I'm violent, I hate bums. So that's basic. Again, the basic community definition of qualification is compliance-based qualification. Third, we have sexual qualification. You can get girls to qualify themselves sexually. That's how you increase compliance. Anybody want threesome's, that happens through sexual qualification. You want sex in bathrooms, sexual qualification. You want super quick lays, sexual qualification. And the difference with sexual qualification is you're qualifying her on her sexuality and moving things forward to increase sexual compliance. Cool? I know I'm throwing out a lot of big words here. Let me know if you guys have questions. And then finally, we have the three types of attraction. So the first type of attraction, right, is what we call value attraction. This is what the whole community is built on, the idea of value game. Yeah, hold on one second. The idea of value, be higher value. This like ethereal idea that like, you have to raise your value while lowering her value. Fuck value game. Value game wasted two years of my life, right? Like, value game is not important because value game is logical, right? Value is logical. Logic is not emotions, women are emotional, therefore value doesn't work that well. So a lot of the ideas in the community, they're focusing on the wrong things. It's correlation, not causation. You guys should all write that phrase down and when you see new pickup methods, think about is what this guy doing correlation or is it causation? Next, we have emotional stimulation, right? How you make a girl feel. The most important thing. Like a lot of guys, like they talk about, you know, how this, that, or the other is the most important thing. The thing that gets you the girl is how you make her feel. That is the most important element in this bar none. So emotional stimulation. And third, we have sexual attraction. You notice there's a running theme throughout this. That's another thing about me, like I don't game for validation, I game to get laid. So everything that I do is geared towards getting laid as quickly as possible. I don't give a fuck about who thinks I'm cool on the internet, right? That's where I'm coming from, so that's where a lot of this stuff comes from. All right, so we've got our three little different kind of ideas of what these new definitions are gonna be. This is gonna become important in a minute. You had a question. Could you give an example of sexual qualification? Sexual qualification would be something like, it's really hard to come up with these examples on the fly, but give me a second here. What's your favorite place to be kissed on your body besides your lips? That's an example of sexual qualification. If a girl answers that question, she's opened the door to sexual escalation, right? It also works a lot on passive acceptance of the frame, which is a concept that I introduced to the community about a year and a half, two years ago. Basically passive acceptance of the frame, there's two types of frame control, right? There's active frame control and there's passive frame control. Active frame control is what you guys have all seen on videos or read about where you talk louder, you cut people off, you control the threads, you back turn people, you use body language. That's all really active. Now, the problem with active frame control is that it can look like you're trying too hard. It's like, why is this guy so domineering and trying to keep the conversation going? Passive frame control, on the other hand, is just something that you say, where if they don't argue with it, they don't break the frame, it gets set. That's like saying something like, I'm trying to get in your pants to a girl, which is something that I say to every girl that I talk to, right? The reason is they're gonna laugh at that and now I've set the stage for the interaction. Now, if she doesn't leave, she's given me passive permission to try to fuck her all night. Cool, right? So, that's the idea with sexual qualification. Now, the next thing I wanna talk about is the idea of cycles, right? Cycles. Now, one of the first things I noticed when I first got into this, my major problem was I didn't qualify, right? Like, I got into this back in like 2002, I took a bootcamp in 2003 with Mystery and before, from 2002 to 2003, I slept with like eight girls. The month after my Mystery Mother bootcamp, I slept with eight girls in a month. Why? Because I started qualifying. That little difference made everything change, right? Well, qualification became like my obsession because it was the one thing that really spiked my game up and when I first got in, there was one qualification line. Mystery would say, once you get three IOIs, then you say, what do you have going for you more than your looks? If she answers that, you're in comfort. Yeah, my Mystery Impression's awesome. I spent 16 straight weeks with a dude. Anyone read the game? That sound like a guy you wanna hang out with for 16 straight weeks? Probably not. Well, what happened was I was like, I'd be getting into relationships with girls, I'd be seeing a bunch of different girls and I'd realize that you have to continually give girls validation and tell them why you like them. So it brought something into mind, which is that qualification is a continuous cycling process. My old model for qualification when I taught Mystery Method looked something like this. It was A, Q, C, S, right? The phases all blend. That's a big distinction between the static Mystery Method where it's A1, A2, A3. What this means is that all of these things are cycling. Attraction blends with qualification, which blends with comfort, which blends with seduction. You have to be in comfort to get to seduction. You have to be comfortable with a girl enough that she's gonna let you get into an isolated situation and start trying to arouse her. So that was the beginning of this whole model. The idea that you're constantly gonna be cycling A, C, and S because it's not a static interaction. So moving on. So that brings us to a little bit of the most complex model you'll ever see. So give me a second to draw this up here. All right, so we're gonna start with this. So one of the big things in the community that you'll hear a lot is attraction comes first. Every method is basically like the first thing you have to do is you have to attract the girl. You have to go in and build attraction. Well, it wasn't until I started reading some of Adam's stuff with making this book that I realized that there's something that comes before attraction and that's the idea of superficial comfort. You can't attract someone if they're uncomfortable with your presence. It's just not gonna happen. So by definition, we have to start in comfort. We have to start by making them amenable to the idea of having a conversation with us. Now, that's what happens. So you can do that in a bunch of different ways, right? You have all these different openers and all that stuff. Stop thinking about the opener. Start thinking about building comfort right away. Making these people like talking to you, right? So you can open with anything. My favorite opener right now is high. I thought you were adorable and I had to come meet you. Like, I open with anything though. Sometimes I open by dancing around like a monkey. Sometimes I sing, it doesn't matter. The opener doesn't matter. The idea of building superficial comfort is what matters. Now, the next concept is something that I blatantly stole from Adam. So I'm crediting him while he's in the room. And that's the idea of breaking rapport, right? But one thing that we do realize that we need to do in order to even be qualified as someone who's not a friend and who might be attractive is we have to break rapport. Mystery calls it nagging. David D. calls it cocky funny. Brad P. calls it the shocker and a certification. Everyone's doing this kind of stuff. They're breaking rapport. The reason is it sets you apart, right? A rapport break is like a snapback. Like if you've ever been out and someone just doesn't like you for no reason and you chase their validation, this is something that happens. We chase validation from people who break rapport with us. It's just one of the things that's hardwired into us because it makes us feel like we're getting rejected. The idea of cat string theory and that we want what we can't have. So we're gonna break rapport. Right now, what we're getting on is the track of my method. Now we're getting into qualification. Once you've broken rapport, you can now start to build attraction. And in attraction, we have building attraction and we also have qualification. How do you build attraction? Demonstrations of higher value, emotional stimulation, sexual attraction stuff. We have a whole list of attraction switches. I don't wanna get into that too much here. What I wanna get into is the idea that there's two different things happening. One of the things that I think is really different about what I teach is I teach what I call the one plus one model. The one plus one model is her and you, right? So she starts out here. She's gonna start out in superficial comfort. You start out in superficial comfort. Now it can go wherever it wants, right? That's a big thing, like pay attention to girls. A lot of guys, especially with this lately, like the latest trend of like unreactivity, people have stopped looking at where the girl is. You don't need to run attraction material on a girl who's attracted to you. If a girl is trying to ask you comfort questions, you don't need more attraction. But let go of that dogmatic idea and start thinking, where am I right now? I'm gonna teach you my two oh shit buttons too. So a lot of the time when you're new at this or you don't have a whole lot of structural training, you haven't taken a boot camp or whatever, you don't know where you are. Figuring out where you are in set becomes like this fucking jigsaw puzzle. You're like, am I in attraction, qualification? I don't know. So I've got two oh shit buttons for when you don't know what to do. The first oh shit button, try to qualify. Qualification is the mechanism that gets us laid. The thing that moves us forward in the method. The second one, try to move. Movement is the best test that we have. Like a lot of game is really just a series of tests to figure out how into you the girl is. Like that's basically what game is. You're trying to gauge the level so you know what to do next. Girls will not move with you if they're not attracted. It is the best test. You don't know if she's attracted or not. Try to move her. She doesn't move. You don't have attraction. Definitive, like sealed. So those are your two oh shit buttons. Try to qualify, try to move. Now we're on this track, right? Now the interesting thing about this track is you see my little arrow here, right? One arrow goes this way. The other arrow goes this way, right? The thing that a lot of people don't realize is that attraction is not like some set in stone thing. Who thinks they know what attraction is? Raise a hand. Bueller. Anybody? Nobody. I'm sorry? Not for this question. Nice try though, I appreciate the hustle. No? There we go. No, attraction is a feeling. That's all it is. It's a fleeting emotional state. A girl can be attracted to you one second and unattracted the next. Everyone's probably seen that if you've gone out enough. Right? You're like making out with some girl, all of a sudden like some dude she's fucking comes into the bar and now she's all on him. Doesn't mean you did anything wrong, it's just it's a fleeting emotional state. Emotional states are really fluid. That's a big thing in this model. Emotional states are fluid. Think about it like this. You could win the lottery at 12 o'clock and be super, super happy. Then at 12 o'one you find out your dad dies, all of a sudden complete swing to the other end of the emotional spectrum in one minute. Emotions are a fluid thing. They're not set in stone. Just cause she's attracted once doesn't mean she's gonna stay attracted. That's why it's important that we cycle things in this model based on what she's telling you. That's another reason that I like the one plus one model is because it puts the focus on her. Where she's at is gonna dictate where you're going next. So we have attraction and we have qualification. Then we have the second form of comfort. The second form of comfort is rapport comfort, CR. That's where you're building rapport. Back to that. She's qualified herself. Now you need to do the getting to know you type stuff to get to sexual comfort. You have to move at least through basic comfort to get into sexual comfort. So we're gonna build comfort. Then what we're gonna do is another break and rapport. Now you can break rapport in a bunch of different ways. There's a bunch of different ways to break rapport. You can break rapport by teasing. You can break rapport by starting an argument. You can break rapport by going sexual. You can break rapport with back turns, takeaways. You can break rapport with just mock indignation. Being like, what are you talking about? But the idea is you break rapport. Why? Because what we're trying to do is we're trying to set up an emotional funnel system that's going to compel her to chase into seduction. I don't do seduction. Girls seduce me. The reason is I break rapport in comfort. Something that I've been doing for a really long time. So we break rapport and we finally end up in the seduction phase, right? With a little bit of possible last minute resistance kicked in. So we have all these arrows. This is by far the most complicated pickup model. But it's actually not that complicated once you recognize it, right? So all these things, I keep saying so all the time. All these things are swirling. So what do you do? You test. That's all you do. Hold on one second. How do you test? Simple. You devise a series of things to do to test where you are. The first one is what we call small hoops in qualification, right? You wanna know if you're in qualification or not? You throw out a small hoop. A small hoop is a simple yes or no question where if she's just completely uninterested in you or she wants to end the conversation, she'll say no. Something like, are you adventurous? Are you spontaneous? Can you cook, right? Basic little questions. She jumps into it, we keep going. Then what do we have for attraction tests, right? Our attraction tests are pretty simple, right? Everyone knows IOIs, right? She touches you, asks you questions, moves with you. You know, is pliable when you touch her. You know, you try to pull her in and she comes in nice and smooth as opposed to being like, to like pull really hard. Then we have comfort tests. What's a comfort test? Will she tell you about herself easily? Does she open up? If you do something like, how many people know what value elicitation is? All right, okay, I'll explain it. Value elicitation is a really awesome thing that comes from the NLP community. Basically, your values are kind of the guiding force in your life. We all have these things in our head that are what we focus on and what we're trying to bring into our life. So you can elicit these from girls. A girl will not do a value elicitation unless she's in comfort. It's a really, really solid test. So I'll give you a quick, a quick, who wants to come up and be a guinea pig for a value elicitation? Cool, guy in a striped shirt. The other guy's gonna hit me up for a book so I gotta keep you down there. I like to, so do I. Hey, John, go ahead and grab a seat. So I'm gonna give you guys, again, I want to credit because I don't want to steal people shit. There's a whole lot of that that goes on in the community. So this is a modified version of styles of value elicitation routine. So let me get my credit out there. All right, so I'll give you, how am I gonna start this? We'll go, if you could do one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? Pick up girls. Okay. And so when you're picking up girls, what feeling does that allow you to have? Valid for ego. Okay. So how do you know your ego is validated? Okay. So what does it feel like in your body? Okay. How are you feeling? Like, so imagine you're out, you're picking up the hottest girl you've ever seen. She's completely validating your ego. All your friends are seeing it. There's a live feed to the seduction board so everyone thinks you're a big pimp. What does that let you feel? It makes me feel like I'm the man. Okay, so how do you know that you're the man? This is like pulling fucking teeth, by the way. What does it feel like to be the man? You're just feeling happy. That's basically it. Happy. Okay, so that's your core value, right? The core value is. So how do you know you have happiness? I know I have happiness because I just look forward to things. I'm excited about things. It's just that inner feeling that you have. So you're looking forward to things. You're excited about things. And how does that allow you to feel? That allows me to feel happy. There we go. Okay, so that's what's gonna happen is the reason we throw that last part in is we wanna loop it back to make sure that's the core value. So basic structure of value with licitation. Some quit, and you're gonna have to tone this down for your girl. She's like a 21-year-old girl in a club where it's like your internal organs are vibrating. You don't wanna go with like, if you could do one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? You wanna go with something like, what do you do for fun? We wanna ease into it a little bit better. So they're gonna give you something. They're gonna say something like dancing. You can take a seat, thanks. So they're gonna say something like dancing or hanging out with friends. They're gonna give you a real kind of pat answer. So that's where we wanna go deeper. So it's like, okay, describe your ideal scenario of doing whatever she just said, all right? Then she's gonna feed it back for you. What you're looking for is what we call her trans words to get all NLP and weird on you. Basically the language that we use defines systems. The really interesting thing about language is that language makes things real. So simply by looking at the words someone uses, you can tap into their model of reality a little bit better. You'll see this a lot with people who have different representational systems, like visual people, a lot of times we'll say things like, I see what you mean, it's becoming clear to me. Audio people will be like, I hear you. Kinesthetic touch people will be like, I feel this, that or the other. So start listening for that kind of stuff because that's a real big clue into their representational system, which is how we all process the world. So you get their words, you feed back the scenario to them. So you're like, okay, you're in your ideal scenario using their trans words. What does that allow you to feel? That's gonna be their core value, but now you gotta loop it back. So now you gotta go, okay, you're now in this, take the more trans words, how does that let you feel? And hopefully you'll get a match there like we did here. If you don't get a match, then something's wrong. And then there's a little joke you can throw on at the end. You can be like, okay, I just solved your core value in like five minutes, you can die now. You always wanna fractionate things that are really deep with things that are really light. Like if anybody here use the cube or any like really like out there psychic style routines, no? Okay, one guy. So you use stuff like that, break it up with jokes because otherwise you become like the way too deep guy and that's not fun. All right, so you had a question. Originally you had said before you wanna break comfort or you wanna break rapport. And you said, here's why we wanna break rapport. Could you go into a little deeper, why you wanna do that? Sure, why do you wanna break rapport? Because you gotta think about the life of a hot girl. She goes out, she gets hit on all the time. The idea that like super hot girls don't get hit on as retarded, I mean anyone who's ever dated really hot girls knows that it can be really obnoxious. One time I was in line at a Chinese food restaurant with my girlfriend at the time and like I was literally like feeling her up and some dude was hitting on her while I was feeling her up. I was like, I'm boob touch guy. You can't beat boob touch guy. Like there's no, you can't win. So the reason is everybody goes in and tries to build rapport with them. The reason we try to build rapport is we're trying to get, we figure that if we can get comfort eventually they'll start to like us, right? Well what we wanna do is we wanna differentiate ourselves by breaking rapport and that will then induce her to chase you, right? It's like if I came up to you in the middle of a bar and I was like, I hate you and I walked away you'd be like, wait, why do you hate me? Our mind just can't deal with that. The being pushed away is a psychological phenomenon that induces people to chase. So by doing those little rapport breaks you're now starting the process of her chasing you as opposed to you chasing her. Now you can go in, there's a lot of guys who do pure rapport game, like Juggler, guys like that who never break rapport. You can do that but it's not as effective. In my experience being out with all of these guys breaking rapport is a fundamental skill that you have to get good at to get good at this. Cool, all right so now I wanna break things down one more step because there's another thing that goes on top of this entire model and that is the idea of frames. I'm not even gonna ask you guys if you know what a frame is cause we've had bad audience participation so far so I'll just explain it. The frame is the underlying meaning of the interaction, who's setting, who's defining the interaction. As our friend Shaft likes to say it sets the stage. So a good example of frames is you go up to a girl and she's like, buy me a drink. She doesn't really happen that much anymore but I don't even see that on boot camps when I'm teaching guys. How many guys consistently get asked to buy drinks? Anybody? Yeah it seems like that's an antique, really you do. Interesting. We'll talk. Really? I never see it, maybe I've just trained my mind to not see it or something. But it's definitely, I mean I never get asked to buy drinks but even I've had one student in the past like six months or something get asked about it. So she says buy me a drink. What's the underlying meaning of a girl saying buy me a drink? Exactly. You're so low value that you have to pay for my time. Bad frame, not a frame that works for us when we're trying to pick up a girl. So instead we have all these creative reframes or whatever. Basically that's an idea of a hoop. Hoops are what frame control comes down to because the person who controls the hoops controls the interaction. You say do this, come here, if they do it you're moving forward. Now frames determine so much of this stuff because your frame and her frame are gonna be in a constant battle and there can only be one dominant frame in the interaction. The stronger frame absorbs the weaker frame. So one of the things that I wanted to do was I wanted to not only create a model where I can show you all this cool like circles and stuff, I wanted to define what these frames are. Can someone bring me a marker cause my marker just died? Cool. There we go. Thank you. So what are the frames of attraction? We have attraction frames, comfort frames and seduction frames. Today I'm only gonna touch on attraction frames because for most guys that's as far as they're getting right now. So there's five frames that are really important in attraction. The first one I just did a video on this. Anyone watch my video? Nobody, lame. All right, the first frame is fun. This is the biggest, like to me, people talk about DHVs, people talk about value, like all these routines. The number one thing that determines whether or not you're gonna get a girl is how much fun she has. You can break every single rule. You can demonstrate a ton of low value. You can be needy, you can be creepy. You can break literally every rule. If the girl's having fun, she's gonna stay. If you're the most fun option, she's staying no matter what. This was actually like a huge thing for me. Cause like I said, all the things I teach come cause I made a bunch of mistakes learning this shit. I learned this shit probably the hardest, most roundabout, like stupid way you could. So what happened was, I used to go out with this guy named Future, who used to teach with us. And this was probably like 2005, maybe 2006. And we were in Central Park. I remember this like it was fucking yesterday. We're in Central Park and he's gaming this girl and he's like, he's saying some creepy ass shit, like really creepy shit. And I'm just like, like back then, like I really, I was real sensitive to like value shifts and stuff. So I was like, it was like frying my brain. I'm like, how, how is this girl not walking away? And she stayed and he ended up fucking her. And I was like, how the fuck did that happen? The answer was she was having a lot of fun. Fun overrides everything. So many guys go out and you're all nervous or you're in your head. The point of going out, the point of picking up women is it's fun. It's not like dismantling a fucking atomic bomb. If you're not having fun out there, stop doing it. All right. Next, we have playful. Attraction routines are not going to be like these long drawn out things where you're like, you know, I have an intuition about you. I bet you that as a young girl, something happened to you to make you grow up before you were ready, right? You're not gonna do that. You're in a fucking club, right? Everything you do in attraction should be playful. Don't take the shit too seriously. It's not a real interaction. One of the things I always say is for the first 10 minutes, nothing the girl has to say matters. I'm on camera saying that. Nothing she has to say matters because you're running your game, right? You don't need to listen. Guys all the time, they're like, oh, I can't hear the club is so loud. It's so loud. I'm like, don't listen. Stop listening. Now you don't have a problem. Lean back. Don't fucking lean in. Talk louder. Shut the fuck up and get back in set. Now be playful. Playful means not serious, teasing, fun, not taking it so fucking seriously. It's not life or death. So many guys, I see them in set and they're like, it's very nice to meet you. Stiff, unfluid, unflexible, right? And then they wonder why they're getting bad reactions. It's not anything you're doing. It's the fact that there's not that playful vibe to the interaction. Think about it like kids. I think kids are like the best example of flirting ever. You'll see all of this stuff in watching like four and five year old kids play with each other, right? You'll see the kid, you'll see the little boy run up to the girl and like shove her and be like, I hate you. And what does she do? She runs after him, right? Runs after him. The way kids interact is the way we want to be interacting. There's a lot of different reasons for this. Like the basic evolutionary reason is that positivity and playfulness and a healthy attitude is a health indicator, right? Anyone who's super negative, you assume that a lot of bad shit happens to them in their life. You know, you meet someone who's like, man, you know, my mom and then like, I've got this shitty job and I have to get up really early and you're like, wow, you suck. Please kill yourself. But you meet someone who's like, hey man, how's it going? You're like, wow, nothing too bad. This guy must be fairly successful because he's so fucking positive that wouldn't happen if a bunch of bad shit happens to him. It's the emotional equivalent of having big muscles. Girl sees a guy with big muscles. She's like, oh, that guy can protect me. Girl sees a guy who's super positive. She's like, oh, that guy's probably pretty cool. Next, we have, what do we have next? Fun, playful, teasing. Teasing is one of those skills that you have to get really good at because it's another overarching skill. A lot of people have read like the Art of Seduction. There's a passage in the Art of Seduction that anyone who's studying this should read. It's called, it's the passage on the coquette, right? What's a coquette? She's basically a tease. It's someone who makes you feel like you're gonna get someone. I got really good at this a weird way. I dated a lot of strippers from 2004 to 2006, 2007, I guess. I still date a decent amount of strippers but strippers are the best at this man. It's so fucking, it's unreal how good they are at it. The image I always think of is imagine a stripper pulling a guy in by his tie and then pushing her out with her heels. Everyone's seen that in a strip pull. It's this push-pull. That's the teasing dynamic, right? And with the teasing dynamic, you have a pendulum effect, right? Because a lot of guys, they start out and they're pussies, right? A lot of guys in this room are pussies. I guarantee it. And then on the other side, you have how I started off, which was I was a big asshole. I was just mean to everyone. I was like, fuck you, I hate you, I'll fight you. I'm like Tupac, like representing, right? Like I'll fucking, I was a fucking, I was a messed up kid, right? So what happens is we come in right here and then we swing way too far to the other side, right? Now you become an asshole. You go out and you start insulting girls. I see this all the time. It's one of my favorite things about teaching boot camps is that every week I will get a student who comes up to me and he's like, you know, I have a really good nag and I'm like, oh God, here it comes. You walk up to the girl and you tell her you're a bitch who smells like tuna fish. I had someone say that to me. That's not a hypothetical example. So teasing, you wanna stay somewhere in the middle. You're gonna overdo it at some point. You have to overdo it. That's a big thing that a lot of guys kind of don't think about is there's this fallacy of the perfect pickup out there, right? Like you walk in and everything you do is money and it just works. That doesn't happen. Every fucking pickup that works has some clunkiness to it. Every pickup is gonna have some shit where you might have lost the girl if you had messed up. You know, Brad P's reports are amazing for this because Brad P just deals with all sorts of just ridiculous random shit in his LRs. You know, like me and Captain Jack have had people chasing us in cars. Like we've had some weird shit too. So there's no, there's this fallacy of the perfect pickup. You can fuck up and still recover. Like that's the point that I'm trying to make here is one fuck up does not mean you have to leave the set. The idea of persistence is a big thing, right? A lot of the times you will get laid just from being persistent, just from staying in the set and trying to move forward. You gotta internally reframe nose as not yet, right? Just cause a girl's not ready. I'll tell my favorite story of all time. So I was on a boot camp in Boston last year and a bunch of like douchebag community guys were there and I walk up to one of them and he's like, hey man, you're running a boot camp. I'm like, hey, yeah, we've got like 12 students. I'm like, if you guys really don't mind just cause the students are new, can you just not fuck with them? Just kinda like say what's up but just leave them alone. If you guys wanna watch, just kinda do it at a distance. Like I was being pretty cool about it. You know, I wasn't like, get the fuck out of here. Like I used to be. I used to be like, you guys need to leave. And so I'm like, cool. I'm like, hey man, what's your name? And he's like, mystery. Really? Really? All right. So I walked away from him. And like an hour later, he's like, he's confronting, it's his place in Boston called Jillian's and there's like a staircase, it's three stories. So he's on the staircase and he's grabbed one of my students and that's just something you don't do. So I like shoved him down and we got kicked out. So it's like, now it's like 12, 45, bars closed in 45 minutes. I'm kinda drunk. I just got kicked out of a club and I'm with three students and another instructor. Not really in state, as you would call it, right? So we roll to this bar down the block and I go in and there's a girl who's like my perfect physical type. My type is big boobs, short, red hair and freckles. Like there's a girl like that. I'm done. It's a problem. But so like one of the students was actually talking to her friend. So I'm like, all right, I'll go wing the student. I'm like, but I've got 45 minutes. So here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go in and all I'm gonna do is tell her I'm gonna hit on her. Tell her she's my physical type. Tell her I like her and tell her I wanna have sex with her. So I went in and that's what I did for 45 minutes. And she's like, well, it's not gonna happen. And I'm like, we'll see. I'm very charming. She's like, I'm not gonna sleep with you. I'm like, we'll see. I'm gonna try. You're fully within your rights to say no, but I'm gonna keep trying. So if you wanna leave, go ahead and say, yeah. And so I tried to kiss her four times, four times. And I got like, you guys ever seen blind date where they have like the rejection counter in the corner? My rejection counter was at four. And then the lights go on and I'm like, all right, let's go. And she's like, I'm not going home with you. I'm like, yes, you are. I'm like, let's stop pretending you're not. And she's like, fine, but we're not having sex. I'm like, we'll see. And then while we're having sex, she's like, remember when I told you we weren't having sex? I lied. You're shit. Really? Tell me something I couldn't figure out on my own. But the idea is you can get rejected and still get the girl. You can get rejected a bunch as long as you don't take it badly. What happens when guys get rejected is they let it affect their state and that's how you lose the set. If a girl can tell that she just affected your emotional state, she loses all attraction for you. Why? Because men are supposed to be like rocks in the storm. Anyone read Way of the Superior Man? You guys should all read that. I feel like that's the definitive, if you wanna really get the idea of how women are emotionally, how men are supposed to be, that's a great book to read. In there, he talks about being the calm in the storm, because women are these swirling seas of emotions. I don't mean that girls are super emotional, but girls are a lot more emotional than guys. But we need to have that strong rock. They need to have something that they can latch onto to allow them to swirl because that's how they get enjoyment. So what happens with rejection is a guy gets rejected and he's like, and you can see it. You have these little, I call them flinches. The idea of flinch points is something I talked about a couple of years ago. Flinch points are basically a point where there's an escalation and you're not 100% sure of what you're doing, so you flinch a little bit and you lose the set. This can happen on opening, like you open a set and they open up really good and you're like, whoa, how'd that happen? And you're just instantly blown out. It can happen on moves, it can happen on bounces, excuse me, it can happen on phone numbers, it can happen on the phone. One of the biggest places you'll see flinches is when you're running your phone game and you're like, oh yeah, so we're gonna meet up, right? You do something like that and you're not gonna get the meetup just because you flinched. You weren't confident in what you were saying. So when you get rejected, it's important that you don't have those flinch points. Girl rejects you, you're just like, ha ha ha, it's funny. Keep going, don't let it affect you emotionally. And that's one of those things where at first it's gonna suck. At first it's gonna be like method acting. You're gonna be like, ah, I just got rejected. Smile, smile, smile, keep going. But eventually you can start to deaden those response systems, right? We have something called a reticular activation system in our brain. Basically that's like the homing system for your mind. Your reticular activation system works on your beliefs and it starts to specifically tune things because that's the thing about beliefs. Beliefs don't have to be true to be helpful. That's another thing that is a big key to this puzzle, I think. Like a lot of guys are like, but my game isn't a 10, but I can't have sex with any girl I want. Doesn't matter. I remember vividly when February 2005, I was with Mystery in San Francisco. Maybe it was San Diego, I don't know. I was with Mystery somewhere and he came up with the idea that he could fuck anyone he wants. Now, empirically, having been on the road with Mystery for 16 weeks, it's not true. And I'm not saying it's not true because Mystery has an amazing game. You know, like I definitely, Mystery has, Mystery is probably one of the three best guys I've ever seen. But at the same time, nobody can have sex with anyone they want. Not even Brad Pitt, not even celebrities. It's just, it's an impossibility. So if that's what you got into this for, the whole idea of like five for five, it's a pipe dream and you're just gonna cause yourself a lot of emotional distress. But he sat there and he was like, I can fuck anybody. And he just, he kept going on this rant. And the really interesting thing about that was that his game got a lot better right after that. Like there was a noticeable jump in his game from like the next day on. Like why? Because now he's going out with this belief. He sees a set before it was like, oh, maybe this will work. Now he's like, I'm Mystery. I can fuck anyone I want. And his game got better. My buddy Craig who works for double your dating, he has a belief called it's always on, right? Is it always on? No? But that belief can sometimes make it on. I remember he was in Vegas and he got a drink thrown on him and like everyone was like freaking out. They were like, oh my God. And he's like, no, no, it's still on. And like five minutes later it was making out with the girl. Weird, right? Weird shit. But the idea that your beliefs are gonna drive things because what you're looking at doesn't have to be reality. We all operate in a form of insanity. Like we all operate on our own model of the world and your model of the world might not be healthy. So beliefs don't have to be true to be helpful. You can start believing that girls like you. Here's some kind of helpful beliefs that I teach. The first one is that people are friendly and bored in public gatherings. That's a huge thing. Like this one actually is true. Anyone here go out before they knew about the community and gaming and stuff and you'd go out to a bar? Anyone do that? No, you're all under 21, I forgot. So you go out to like a, what do you guys do when you're under 21? A bowling alley or something? I don't know. But you go out and you're hanging out with your buddies and you're looking at the girls and you're like, man, I got mad smiles today. You see that? That girl smiled at me. Yeah. It's boring as fuck. And that's the thing, people are bored when they go out. People are friendly, people are bored. They're gonna be entertained. At the very least, you're doing them a favor because even if you're creepy as fuck, like none of you guys are too weird looking but I've been doing this for a long time and that's not always the case. But even if you go out and creep them out, you're giving them conversational material for the rest of the night. They can make fun of you for the rest of the night. So their night gets better. You're adding value no matter what when you approach. The second one, women are sexual. This is like, one of my big problems with the community as a whole is there's a big focus on evolutionary biology but in my opinion, it's focused on the wrong side of evolutionary biology. It's focused on the side with the Red Queen. What's another classic community book? It's the Sperm Wars. No, Sperm Wars is good. I don't think enough people read Sperm Wars because Sperm Wars will really fuck your day up. I think most people can't handle it. Books like Sperm Wars, My Secret Garden, the stuff that really exposes the depths of female sexuality is the stuff that really we should be looking at because that's better for your beliefs. If you believe that women are much more sexual then you're gonna have better game. My wing captain, Jack, he implemented a lot of this stuff and basically he was just telling me, he'd just break it down. He'd be like, look, why are they out? He's like, you go to a bar or a club, the drinks are more expensive, the music is loud and you don't get to control it. You're getting the creepy grind behind guy, right? When you're in the club, you gotta get your grind on. So why are they out there? They're out there because they're looking for something, right? They're trying to trade up. They're not 100% happy. I go a step further and say they're looking for new guys when they go out. Why? Because any hot girl, she wants to get laid, she can send a mass text message, hey, wanna come over and watch a movie and she'll have four guys at her door in half an hour. So they're going out looking for something. Let's wrap up these attraction frames. The next attraction frame is socially dominant. Dominance is one of those things that's kind of like a dirty word because people often confuse domineering with dominant. Domineering means you're overly extending, you're like a control freak. Dominant just means you're a leader. If I could teach one skill, if someone came up to me and was like, I need a 30 second primer on how to get girls, I would say learn to lead. Learning to lead is the most important concept in this entire game. You need to lead the conversation, lead physically, lead emotionally, lead logistically. Like leading is really what all of this game boils down to is being confident enough in yourself and knowing what the phases are to just lead the girl through. So being socially dominant is huge. One of the really interesting things about dominance is as you're playing around with it, much like you have that like pussy asshole scale, you'll have a scale with that too. For a while, I was really like amping up the dominance and I noticed that my game would go one of two ways. I'd either come off super attractive or I'd come off really weird, right? Because the level of social dominance just wasn't calibrated. So you want to play around with that, play around with being demanding, play around with telling people what to do. Come here, do this, come here, hold this. Hey, daddy's talking, that's like my favorite. My favorite thing in the world to say and said is like I just hold my finger up and go, daddy's talking. Again, playful, yeah. You had a question? Oh, we're waiting for the mic. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do. The scale, could you do your version of the pussy asshole? Yeah, it's right here. Like basically the idea is we get into this because we're pussies, right? We get into this because we were never taught to be like leaders and to be met. Most of us, I'm not saying all of you guys, but I definitely wasn't. I was like, but I can talk to girls? They won't like mace me? It's crazy, madness. So you start off and you're like really supplicating. You have the basic Disney idea of like you have to buy girls flowers and be really nice and kiss their ass and like, you know, pretend you care about a lot of shit like celebrity gossip that you don't care about. No, the socially dominant one. You said you had the same one. Oh, you wanna, yeah. So it swings on this scale, right? You have like beta, you have alpha, right? Now past alpha, you have weird, right? Past alpha, you have like, you'll see, anyone ever been to a BDSM club? I highly recommend everyone go to one because you'll learn a lot about human interaction because you'll see all this stuff and like the dominance level that those guys have is like ridiculous because they have like, there's this whole idea like, mystery used to say that sex was the ultimate compliance act. I think sex is like 60% compliance because like it's easier to get girls to have sex with you than it is to get them to buy you shit. So, you know, like there's a little bit more to that. It's easier to get girls to have sex with you than it is to set up three sums. It's easier to get girls to have sex with you than it is to like get them to come pick you up at the airport, et cetera. So the idea is that there's somewhere on that scale. So with dominance, you have like really beta, you have the guy who like supplicates, who kisses girls' asses, who like doesn't ever stand up for himself. The guy who's like, the guy who's like, I used to do this, right? Like I'd be talking to a girl and she'd be like, I like this kind of music. I'd be like me too when I fucking hated that music, right? The reason is you're not confident enough or dominant enough to have your own standards. Then you can swing all the way to the other side where you're like, hey, come here, do this. And now you're too dominant and you can creep people out, right? So that's kind of where the scale goes. We want to end up somewhere in the middle. The real big thing with a lot of game is balance, right? But the only way you're gonna find balance is by fucking it up. I give all of you guys permission to fuck up. I've done like 10,000 sets. I've had sex with somewhere between 200 and 250 girls. I fucked up a lot. Everyone does as they're learning, right? That's just the way it goes. You're gonna fuck up a lot. It's the fuck ups that teach you things. Success is a really, really bad teacher. I got laid in five minutes at an after party last weekend. I have no idea what happened. I walked in with two girls. I said something about how I'm gonna try to sleep with one of them. The girl was like, why don't you sleep with me? Then I started talking to her and I pulled her in a bedroom and fucked her. Literally like five minutes, right? Don't know. I learned absolutely nothing from that. Other than the fact, other than that I had the creepiest shit ever said to me while I was having sex with the girl, I was having sex with this girl on the toilet at this gay dude's apartment. And she's like, you do this a lot, don't you? And I'm like, yeah, kind of. And she's like, well, karma's a bitch. And I'm like, what? Like, what do you mean? She's like, my boyfriend's out there. I'm like, what? So I pushed these guys out of the way and ran. I ran home like 11 blocks last Friday night. It was fun. But yeah, you're gonna have a lot of situations where you don't learn anything, but you get laid. It's those failures where you're like, okay, what could I have done next? And that's why it's important that you adopt the belief that it's always your fault. It's always your fault. A lot of guys, they come out of said, they're like, what girl was a bitch? Wasn't a bitch. I did something to trigger that, right? Girls are not bitches. They're just bitches to you when you approach them the wrong way. So socially dominant. That means leading the conversation, being the center of attention. So many guys are what I like to think of as like shadow dwellers. They think that they can like hide in the shadows all night long and then they like grab a girl and pull her back, right? You got a pickup artist is an entertainer, you know? Like you are gonna need to entertain the group and you're gonna have to get comfortable courting that attention. Now obviously some people are big attention whores and other people are not, but you're gonna have to get used to that to get good at this because you're going to have to run a conversation. You're gonna have to be the guy who everyone's looking at and it's gonna be intimidating in the beginning. Like it is. You know, like how many people do mixed sets? This is my favorite barometer. Okay, cool. That's a lot more than usual. Awesome. Awesome. Usually we get like one guy. Good. But the harder sets, the ability to really hold that conversation and be interesting and keep them riveted becomes a big deal because you're not only dealing with girls, you're dealing with guys, right? Girls, you can go in and just pump emotions. You can just go in and be really funny. You can be like, oh my God, you're like a night munchkin, spin little night munchkin, oh, that's okay. Right, you can't do that when guys are there. They'll look at you like you're fucking retarded. So being socially dominant is huge and that comes with dealing with other people. Now the last frame actually ties into the socially dominant thing because a lot of guys, they think social domination is like telling people to shut up or like telling people to like move around or whatever. The overall key is you need to be friendly when you're doing this stuff. That's a big problem I see with a lot of guys is because we were talking about this on the break. There's a lot of misogyny in the community and there's a lot of guys, possibly even in this room, who hate women. And so I actually, my natural personality was a little bit validated by Mystery Method. I feel like that's one of the reasons I stuck with it for as long as I did because I'm kind of an asshole. I was like, oh my God, I don't have to be nice. I'm like, this is awesome, right? But a lot of guys, they have the opposite thing where they're like trying too hard to be mean. Be friendly, teasing and all that stuff, breaking rapport. It's a punishment that you wanna use sparingly. You don't need to do it over and over and over again. You just need to do it sparingly enough to cause the right reaction. Cool. All right, so that's gonna wrap up my attraction frames and the kind of new model section. Now I'm gonna get on a personal soap box here. So buckle up. My next section is called Why It's a Bad Idea to Be an Under-21 Pickup Artist. So I got into this when I was 19 and a lot of the things that you guys are going through, I've been through. Like I've been to some really bad places. Like I tried to kill myself in 2007 when I was an active mystery method instructor and it had sex with over 150 girls. Why? Cause I was really unhappy. Cause my whole like self-worth got tied up in this idea of getting girls, right? Because I didn't give myself a natural chance to mature and a natural chance to find out if I was good with girls or not. When you're 19, 20 years old, you don't know who you are yet. And so what happens is you're trying to learn social skills through a mask of weirdness, right? Like a lot of the community stuff is weird. It's weird cause it's different and it works. But if you don't have basic social skills, which a lot of us, if we're 19, 20 years old, I didn't, you know? I spent all my time playing basketball and I blew out my knee. Then I spent all my time reading, right? Like I didn't have friends. I didn't have any of that, but I had no social skills. So I went out and I started learning how to pick up girls and I couldn't even hold a five minute conversation. Like it took me a good, probably six months of going out every day to get to the point where I could just have a five minute conversation with a strange girl. So I think for a lot of you guys, the answer is to not throw yourself into pickup so hard. The answer is what we call balance, healthy lifestyle. This is actually something that I'm working on right now as a product or I might just give it away. I think it's really important so I might just write an e-book and give it away. The idea of healthy lifestyle, balanced lifestyle. I actually interviewed Adam and Amanda cause they have a great relationship, you know? Like that's a fucking awesome, like probably the best community relationship I've ever seen, right? So the idea is the first part of a healthy, balanced lifestyle comes down to what I call multiple streams of women in your life, right? That means the guys who are really weird are the guys who get all their girls off cold approach because they've only learned to socialize one way. Like you put them in a club and they can go through all these routines and all this stuff, but you put them in a party and they're like busting out opinion openers and it's really weird, right? So you wanna have, like, this whole idea came up because I was listening to the radio one day and they said that millionaires on average have seven streams of income, right? If you wanna be a millionaire you need a bunch of different streams of income so you get money from a bunch of different ways. And I thought about that and I was like, that's really similar to living in abundance with women, right? Cause that's what we're all here for. Like no matter what your goals are, you're here because you're unhappy with your sexual life. Like I love when dudes come into boot camp and they're like, oh yeah, I don't really need this stuff, I get laid, I'm like, really? Cause I mean, you did pay $3,000 for a pickup seminar. I mean that doesn't, if I was getting laid all the time, like I get laid now and I wouldn't pay for a pickup seminar now. So like that's a really big thing but you wanna develop alternate ways. So some of your girls should come from the internet, some should come from social circle, some should come from being hooked up by your friends which isn't social circle, it's like actual like being set up. Some of them should come from hobbies, some of them should come from a bunch of different ways because that way, A, you're meeting a bunch of different types of girls, right? Because that's the thing is, you're gonna find a girl who's your type. Like you give me a girl who's like super bouncy and like super hardcore tester and that just bores the shit out of me. You know, like my buddy, my buddy Future, he loves that shit, like he loves it. Like we'd be sitting there like in set and I'd be like, why are we staying for this? And he's like, this is fun. I'm like, no, it's fun when they do what I tell them to do. But you know, like so you gotta figure out what type of girl you want and that's gonna come from these different streams. So I highly encourage all of you guys to not just get all your sex from cold approach, right? The second thing is having a set of really defined goals. You have to know why you're in this for yourself, not for anybody else. When I first got into this, I had like ridiculous goals. I was like, I wanna have sex with a new girl every night of the week. I did that back in 2005 and it was exhausting and I got really sick for like three weeks. Not a good idea and your goals can change but the idea is the reason we're doing this is not to impress dudes. The reason we're doing this is not to feel better about our inner monkey. The reason we're doing this is not any of these superfluous reasons that come into this. The reason you got into this is to find a woman or women that are gonna make you happy. Like that's what the community should be about is whatever you want. You want a girlfriend? Like I personally don't do relationships. The reason is I cheat and I refuse to have a relationship where I'm gonna cheat. You know, like I just, my personal boundary is I don't cheat on girls and so I know myself and I know I'm not capable of being faithful at this point in my life so I don't do serious relationships, right? That's me. Other guys, Adam has an amazing relationship. It's awesome. Other guys like Owen, TD and Roxana, they have a great relationship. There's no wrong answer to any of this because every now and then, the community will go through cycles. I remember a couple of years ago, Mr. He got on fast deduction. He was like, do you have a girlfriend? The way I can tell that someone's cool is if they have a girlfriend and all these dudes were like, yeah, I've got a girlfriend and they're all trying to live up to mystery standard. Fuck mystery standard. Fuck everybody's standard besides yourself. You want a girlfriend? That's awesome. You want to fuck a ton of chicks? That's awesome too. There's no judgment in this. There's no right or wrong. Like the entire your sex life is morally neutral, right? Whatever you want to do is okay. As long as you're completely honest about it and you don't intentionally hurt people. The third thing is exposing yourself to new stuff. One of the dangers, like I don't take students who are under 21. I just don't do it. The reason is I don't think you should be exposed to this stuff that early. Like the problem is I know a lot of you guys are balanced and you guys can handle it, but most people can't. Most people they're gonna throw themselves into pickup and they're gonna lose all their normal friends. Why? Because your normal friends are gonna be like, why are you doing this? This is weird, right? Because they've got their own like cognitive dissonance about their problems with women. So you're gonna lose your friends. You're gonna become the weird guy going out alone and you're not gonna have any hobbies because this thing can become obsessive. I'm still fairly obsessed, right? But that's because I'm obsessed now with teaching. Like now I'm trying to figure out the best ways to get the information that I have out to you guys and different models and kind of exercises and stuff that can really accelerate learning. But it's really easy. Seduction is seductive. It's very, very easy to get sucked into this, especially when you start to get good responses. If you have 19 years of bad responses from women and you start getting good responses, you're gonna be like more, more, more. I went out every day for a year and a half. Did seven approaches a day when I first started. Every day. Every day. When I first started, I went to the mall. The fucking Northridge mall in Northridge, California. And I just do seven approaches. I had one opinion opener when I started. That was it, but I just went out. Went out, went out, went out, went out. And that brings me to my next point, which is stop fucking reading. How many people in here have met more than five seduction ebooks? Bunch of people are liars. Okay. Stop reading. You wanna spend most of your time in field. Meeting women. The best example of this is Brad Peay. Like Brad Peay's one of my favorite guys. In my opinion, he's like the second best guy I've ever seen besides Captain Jack. He's amazing. The interesting thing about Brad is that he didn't even know there was a community when he started teaching. He just started doing this shit on his own, just going out, trying shit, getting results. And then he started teaching for like 40 bucks in the back of a pizza place. And then finally like some community guys took it off a craigslist. And they were like, oh, there's this whole thing. Right? That to me is a great barrier that reading really doesn't help you. Like the worst student I can possibly have is a student who knows too much theory. Why? Because you've got all these different conflicting things. Everyone, everything conflicts, right? You've got juggler method, you've got this method. Everyone's saying something different. What you wanna do is you wanna stick to whatever feels like the most comfortable for you. Right? Figure out how you wanna meet girls. That brings me to like, a great exercise you guys should all do is you should sit down with a pen and paper and write up a paragraph or a page about your ideal self with women. Like what would be your ideal situation? You know, like you wake up next to a girl, you go out, you meet some girls. You know, maybe you've got an awesome girlfriend, maybe you've got a harem, but your ideal situation. And not just your ideal situation, but also your ideal self. How would you react to all of these different things? Right? And then every day you wanna progressively try to move closer and closer to that. I ask myself shit like that all the time. I'm like, like, because I'll get involved in little like stupid petty drama and stuff. And I'll be like, is this really, like would my ideal self be troubling himself with this? Probably not. But really be aware of that, stop reading, get out, start approaching girls. Like get out and do it everywhere, right? You guys are young. Like you guys have a major advantage. That's the one major advantage you guys have is you have a long time to get good at this. There's no rush. So there's no point in getting obsessive about it or making it a part of your life. It's just a hobby. It's the same as working out. It's the same as, you know, riding dirt bikes. It's a hobby. It's something you do for fun and that enriches your life. All right, so that's my soapbox. Cool, I'm gonna open it up for questions now. So we'll start. Guy in the Nautica's shirt. I have a question about breaking rapport. Right. Because often I find myself like doing it at the wrong times, like sometimes as a punishment, like when the girl is losing interest, like I'll break rapport. Yeah, it doesn't help you. Yeah, exactly. You can't break rapport with someone who's broken rapport with you first. Once the girls, you gotta start thinking of like, when the girls start wandering off, they're breaking rapport with you. You can't win back rapport by breaking it harder, right? Instead, you just have to. Okay. So like, what do you think the ideal time is to go out? As soon as they're comfortable with you being there. As soon as, like, you open the set, you're like, hey guys, you know, you guys look cool, I wanted to come meet you. They're like, oh hey, on this, that or the other, break rapport. As soon as they're comfortable with your presence. The quicker you can break rapport, the quicker you can start building attraction. Actually, let's get Adam up here. Adam, this is your thing. I don't wanna teach your shit with you in the room. Adam's awesome. For those of you guys who don't know, he's an innovator, which is very rare in this business. And he's also someone that I'm lucky enough to call a friend. So you guys are lucky to have him up here. What's going on, buddy? What's your name? You wanna talk a little about breaking rapport? Can I just hang over his chest? No. Yeah, grab that one. Cool. And then if anyone has any questions, I'll just run out and speak to him. Thank you. Guys, I mean, it's really great to hear that from Sin. I mean, Sin was one of my heroes as I was like learning the game and getting bigger and better. And so to have him now sort of like saying to me that someone I've innovated and come up with is great, is all right, it's a bit of a shock, but it's very cool. Yeah, get it. No, he's a very cool guy. Who asked the question about breaking rapport? Yeah. And if I get this right, your question was, just to make sure. How do you know when to break rapport? Yeah, how do you know when to do it? It literally is as soon as you possibly can. I mean, let's look at some of the top instructors around the world that actually open by breaking rapport. You've got guys like Mystery who go straight in with a neg. The first thing he suggests doing. Now, why can he get away with that? He can get away with it because his value. We're talking about value-based game earlier. And this is getting really, really technical now, but think about somebody who's got a high enough value. They're actually so high that the girls will seek comfort with them purely based off the fact that they're a good-looking or tall or socially calibrated guy or someone who appears to have a lot of free selection. That's an amazing noise. We're next to each other. Oh, okay. Cool. Sorry. And so, but that's the point. If I stand here and don't move, there's no noise. Don't hold that. I am as stupid as I look. So essentially, you want to break rapport as soon as you can. And these guys with a high value, they can just go straight in with a neg. But I realized there was a problem because it was in London, I'd be reading these posts and they're like, yeah, you can just go straight up and be alpha, work on your, get a good hairstyle, work out, go up to any girl you meet and go, you ugly. And she goes, I don't want you. And the point is that, I don't even know what's going on here. There's a, we're loathing in Orlando. We're allergic to each other. Hello, hello. There, I won't move. I could just shout. I mean, everyone can. Okay, it's not me. It's not me officially. So the point is you've got, you know, mystery or what have you, he goes in with this break rapport and I would get this student sign up to me and I kid you not, because I didn't get the high quality of students that the mystery method got at the beginning. I was charging, I think, 40 pounds for three hours. So what was that like, 80 bucks for three hours when I first started. And I'd get this student coming along. And I kid you not, he was a guy from India. He'd just arrived in England. He was balding. He was 48 years old. He didn't have any dress sense whatsoever. He came into a club and I looked at the guy and I thought if he goes up to a girl and he says to her, your hair looks fake, she's going to slap him. And I don't care. I don't care how much his body's turned away from her. The only way that's going to help him is to glance the blow. That's, that's about it. Like that's, that's his best hope. So I was like, he's got to do something else first that will let her talk to him. And I'm going to talk a bit about this a bit later because I'm seeing this, but essentially you need to get that level of comfort because if you turn around to your, your sister or one of your mates, if you, the guy, even the guy next to you, you've probably got enough comfort just with the guy next to you. If you punch him on the arm, he's probably just going to smile and punch you back. But that act of punching you back, everyone punches each other. I think it says under 21. I'm kidding. So that, that act of punching you back is a reaction. Now I learned something from, who I think is one of the best PUA innovators in the world at the moment. And that's Amanda, my girlfriend. And she taught me something which is absolutely incredible. Do you know what the opposite of love is? No, it's not hate, you see. It's indifference. It's indifference. Hate is another form of love. You only hate someone that you love. You can't hate someone you don't because if you don't care, you don't care, right? So by hitting you back, they're reacting. So they're doing the hate part of it. Well, that's okay. And that's why like that story about, that Sim was giving earlier about the instructor that got water poured over him, right? And then he turned it into a kiss. I'm not surprised. I've seen that many, many times. I know that some of, some of the best friends I've had and some of my best closes have been with girls when I first met them. It didn't work out. In fact, I think the very first time I met Amanda, I actually think we, I insulted her. I think she was like, yeah, me and my friends get around a bit. And I went, yeah, I've heard. And I think that was like my opening line because we met through friends. And she was like, wow, that's really harsh. I was like, yeah, I find my best friendships with people always started with an insult. And ironically, Amanda's now like my best friend in the world. So it really does happen. If you think back, you forgive your friends for stuff, but you want to hit them back, you want to get involved in that breaking rapport. So it's a very long story short. Yes, break rapport as soon as you can. There you go, okay. Oh, you don't, have you got a thing anymore? Oh, I don't, I'll just take this. Cool, thanks Adam. Let's give Adam a round of applause. Next question. So the transition from breaking rapport to qualification is the attraction phase. All the attraction material that you guys have learned, all the stuff about attraction, cocky funny, you know, Brad P's stuff, mystery stuff, everyone's attraction stuff. The idea is get attraction. I don't get too caught up in how you get attraction because attraction is easy to get, right? Attraction is simply the act of being someone that can lead her emotionally, right? While having some degree of value. That's basically it. So the idea is you break rapport, which then allows you to build attraction. You build attraction, you test for that through testing compliance, like how she reacts to your touching, right? That's where touching escalation really comes in, because that's gonna be the best test. Like her words can lie, you know? Like one of the reasons in that Boston story that I didn't leave the set when she kept trying to not kiss me was every time I pulled her in, she would come in really readily, she just wouldn't kiss me. So it's like if she was like, if I was like, and she wouldn't kiss me, then obviously something's wrong. But she was passing the attraction test that she's comfortable enough with me and attracted enough that she'll get really close to me physically. That's enough for me, right? So that's the idea. The idea is you break rapport that allows you to get into the, into the attraction building phase, right? Then you build attraction, you test for it through compliance tests, right? And then you start to seed qualification, right? Here's the thing, attraction and qualification blend. That's why on the model, you'll see, ooh, actually no, that's my fault. So I didn't drop the model correctly here, it's new. But you'll see that this little space here is for qualification, right? That's why actually, I guess it makes sense because qualification's the overlying mechanism, right? You see how they interlapped? What you're doing is you're testing, because girls will not qualify themselves if they're not at least somewhat interested. So you build attraction, you're like, I think I got attraction, throw out a small hoop. Are you adventurous? She goes, yeah, I'm adventurous, great. I love adventurous girls. But wait, are you like PG-13 adventurous or are you like rated R? I'm rated R. Okay, cool, maybe we can be friends. What's the most adventurous thing you've ever done? Then you just stack hoops on top of that until you get to a large qualifying hoop, which is something like, what do you have going for you more than your looks? What's your best quality? What would make me want to get to know you, et cetera? Why are you special? All that stuff. Cool? Next question? When you were learning qualification and breaking rapport or any specific skill in this. Yeah, there's a lot of skill in it. Yeah, exactly. Would you go out and then break it down like tonight I'm just gonna work on this? That's an idea called small chunking. That's how you should all learn, right? The way I got good, the reason that I think I got good and a lot of guys didn't was that I didn't try to do too much. Like as humans, we have this tendency to overestimate our capabilities in learning things because it looks easy. So when I first started out, like I had one opinion opener. I went out and I learned to open. I went out and that took probably like two weeks. Then it was like, okay, open, now get the girl to stop, have a conversation. That was the next step, right? Now it's like, okay, throw in some cocky funny, throw in some nags, whatever. And then just step by step by step. So you should go out and work qualification. Like you especially, because you're a really good looking guy, you could probably start qualification pinging, which I think is another thing I introduced. I hate that I'm saying all this stuff because it makes me sound so egotistical. But the idea of pinging for qualification is you just throw it out. A lot of the times what I'll do is I'll open the set and then I'll be like, who are you? And they'll say whatever and I'll be like, and you're special because, right into a big hoop. Why? Because it's a glitch in the matrix. If I can get that, then I don't have to do attraction. I wanna do the least amount of work possible. I'm super lazy and I wanna get laid as fast as possible. So I don't wanna do anything unnecessary. If I can skip a stage, I try that all the time. Now what happens if she goes, I don't know, why are you special? Then you just, you break rapport with her, right? You release it, a release is just a non sequitur tease. You can be like, oh my God, I can already tell your last boyfriend did not spank you enough. So check this out, right? Right back into your attraction material. You took a shot, it didn't work. Doesn't mean it's not gonna work later. It just means it didn't work right away. So that should be something that you can go out and try tonight, cool? Next, is that right there? What's the difference between breaking rapport and attraction? Attraction is a phase where you're doing those three phases of attraction. You're working value game, emotional stimulation and sexual attraction, right? That's the difference between breaking rapport is a form of attraction, right? If you're looking at it, breaking rapport fits into the value based thing because someone who's higher value can break rapport with people and not get into trouble, right? But it's just a mechanism to start that attraction phase. It's like, okay, talking to these girls. And the cool thing about this model is you can use it anywhere, right? You can use it in social circle stuff. You can use it in daytime stuff. You can use it with strippers. You can use this with everyone. Like it really is a unified theory where it doesn't just pertain to cold approach. Like any situation, no matter what, when you have a conversation, you've got to establish that superficial comfort, right? Then you break rapport, now you can build attraction, anywhere. So that's one of the things I really like about the model is it's not super pertaining to any particular phase. And how do you do all of these things without getting in your head like, oh, I have to qualify? In the beginning, you're gonna be in your head. It's just, it's one of those things like if you're gonna learn structured game, like a lot of people don't like structured game. I think it's retarded to give a newbie no structure because if you were good with women, you wouldn't be taking a course. You know, like I hate the like trend, the community thing. Like I'm all for natural game and dropping routines, right? But I'm really against the idea that you can take someone who has an entire lifetime of bad social programming and not being a good conversationalist and then tell them all of a sudden, okay, just be cool, man, your game is a 10. Go, right? It's like, hey, what's up guys? You guys, it's just, it's bullshit, right? So the reason I like structured game is it at least gives you a framework where you're like, okay, I go in, they're talking to me, they're okay with my presence, break rapport, okay, rapport has been broken, build attraction, test for it, qualify. Now I know where I am, right? The real purpose of a model is simply to know where you're at. Think of it like in Zelda where you pull up the little map, that's the purpose of the model. You go, okay, where am I? That's it. But again, like learn the model and break it down into steps, right? Establish superficial comfort first, that's learning to open. Everyone does this, like you look at Mystery Method, how do they establish superficial comfort? Over the shoulder, right? You don't creep them out, so now there's a superficial amount of comfort built. You look at any kind of thing. You look at Brad P. He's like super, he's just got this aura around him where he's super nice. Everyone does this. So it's really, you've established superficial comfort, you break rapport, you break rapport. Everyone in here has learned some attraction stuff, does anyone in here not have any idea of what to do in attraction? There we go. Cool, so you've got your attraction stuff. You work that, the way you test for it is you use qualification and you use compliance, right? Qualification, compliance. Test, does it come back? Okay, keep doing attraction until it starts coming back. That's basically it. All right, and you have attraction. What is the CR on the right hand side? CR is comfort rapport, the second phase of comfort. Talk to me about that. Right, the second, we broke comfort down into three things initially. I ripped that page off. The three types of comfort, you have are superficial comfort, rapport comfort, and sexual comfort, right? So superficial comfort comes first, rapport comfort is what's basically known as the comfort phase in most models, and then sexual comfort comes in in the sexual phase. And what was the oh shit buttons that you said? Like what is that about? That's when you don't know what to do. When you're in set and you're like fuck, I have no idea what's going on. Try to qualify, try to move. Then you get an idea. If a girl qualifies herself, you have some attraction. You're in qualification, you figured out that you're here. Now we just need to figure out where we are on the rest of this model. She's qualifying, okay, let's keep increasing qualification until we get to that large hoop. Does she answer a large hoop? Cool, now we're in comfort. That's basically it. Cool. I actually have two questions. The first one. Well, you can only get one answered. Okay. No, I'm kidding. The first one is, I noticed you have BR. Right. Kind of overlapping with. In the comfort phase. Sure. In order, I don't want to get too much into this because this is my concept of like sexcalation. It's very similar to the stuff Rhettis is going to be teaching later. So we'll let him teach my material better. But yeah, you're going to break rapport when you go sexual. Like going sexual saying something like, if nobody was here right now, I'd put you on the bar and take care of business, is a rapport break. That's something that is uncomfortable for most girls. Now, what you learn from that is what the possibility is further on from that. Right? So I don't want to get too much into that stuff because it's like a whole topic in and of itself. But the idea is you break rapport to go sexual. To get into seduction, you have to break rapport because you're not going to just like, that's a big problem in a lot of methods is they just, they're like, oh, once seven hours has elapsed, it just magically happens. No, it doesn't magically happen. You've got to prep and lead things up to arousal. And so that's where sexcalation comes in. It's very clever. You have the breaking rapport overlapping with qualification. Would you recommend like immediately pinging for qualification as soon as you break rapport or then just move to attraction and then pinging for qualification? You're always like, the whole idea of qualification as a mechanism is you're using it to move throughout the phases, right? So that means you can use qualification to move anywhere. You can qualify and then go back to attraction, right? You can qualify and go into seduction. You can qualify and go into comfort. Qualification is how you move around this little circle. That's why it's in the middle. So wherever you are, when you're qualifying, wherever you want to go, that's where you want to try to lead it. Does that make, that's a horrible explanation I know, but does it make kind of sense? Cause I can explain it in a little bit better way if you need me to. Okay. Like when you're in qualification, what we're trying to do initially is we're trying to get into comfort. The first use of qualification is to get us into comfort. That happens when a girl answers a large hoop. The second use of qualification is now to build compliance and investment in comfort and then to move into sexual qualification while you're moving into seduction. So there's three separate types. That's why I said there's standards qualification, right? Standards qualification is like those small hoops that you talk about when you're pinging, right? Then you have rapport qualification or what did I call it? Compliance qualification. And then you have sexual qualification. So depending on what type of qualification you're using, that's how you're gonna move between the phases. So standards, compliance, sexual. Cool, next question. Can you give some more examples of how you break rapport? NETs, NETs, back turns, going sexual, like shoving the girl away, physical breaking of rapport by pushing her away. What else? Disqualifiers, right? It's too bad you're blonde or you totally be my type. It's too bad you're Asian, right? Like anything like that. What else? We've got back turns, takeaways, arguments, like just purposely disagreeing with her. That's another one. Sexual ones are when you go sexual. Going sexual does break rapport. So there's a right way and a wrong way to go sexual. You wanna be sure that you're doing it in the right way. And the right way goes through like kind of a complex model in my sexualation stuff. You can find it online at my blog, sinsofattraction.blogspot.com. I've written tons of posts about it. Sins of attraction, I'll write it on the board. If I have a marker. I dropped the marker, that's right. In fact, you know what? I wasn't gonna do this before, but if everyone wants to circulate an email sheet, I'll send you guys a copy of my archive, which is like the best post that I picked out from the last three years of me running this blog. So if someone wants to just pass around a piece of paper, we'll get that out to you guys. Okay, there's actually another part to my question before the mic started going nuts. So like when the conversation is dying down and maybe she's kind of like subtly breaking rapport with you, like is when I would like try to subtly break rapport with her, like maybe do something like. There's a right way to break rapport in that situation and it's doing a takeaway. Doing a take, yeah. Well, I mean like, like what I would do is be like, oh my God, like me and you are totally not gonna work. And like. Right, that's wrong. It's wrong? Okay. You can't verbally break rapport with someone who's already broken rapport with you. Right. But now it just looks like you're doing it. It's reactive, right? And I mean, sometimes what I do is like, you know, just like subtly like change my body language. If she changes her body language. When you start to lose, here's one of the like, little dirty secrets of like top guys. A lot of the times you'll go into a set and it won't go that well. And then you'll eject and you'll come back like two hours later and it'll go way better. You're always, you're almost always, if they start to really like break rapport with you, like they start to like turn off or whatever, it's better to save your social value. Be like, oh my God, I see my friend. And then just jet and go directly into another set, open the other set up, get like locked in, get into the most confident position of comfort. Get them laughing. You can even be really sneaky about this. Sometimes one of the things I'll do is I'll use those girls, like I'll bounce out of one group and I'll be like, hey guys, my girlfriend and I are having an argument and I'll point at the girls that I was just talking to. The reason I do that is now this set will let me touch them as much as I want. Because all I'm using this set for is to get those girls to be jealous, right? Like that's all. So as long as I can hug these girls in front of them, my value raises even though I'm not even in that set. Then wait 20 minutes, go back and be like, hey guys, how's your night going? And you'll be amazed at how often the set'll go better because they've drank a little bit more. They've been hit on by even Lamer guys. So it's like all of a sudden you don't look that bad. Yeah, when you're really starting to lose the set, maybe make one attempt to kind of dominantly get them over and be like, princess, come here and try to physically pull them back in. But if they don't go for that, then just jet and then come back. Build a little jealousy plot line and come back 20 minutes later. Okay, because a lot of guys are just stay in the set until they tell you to go away. Yeah, I think plowing is super overrated. So you don't have to be afraid to walk away. You can do that and then it's cool. Okay, the reason I think plowing is overrated is that a lot of guys think blowouts are the enemy. Blowouts are not the enemy. The enemy is the 20 minute set to nowhere. You go out on a given night. You've got generally like four to six hours depending on what part of the country you're at and where the bars close. So every 25 minute set that you have that isn't gonna have sex with you where you're plowing is wasting time where you could have been meeting another girl. So that's why I don't plow. What I'll do is I'll go hardcore sexual. Brad P. calls it blow me or blow me out. I'll do that and I'll get a blowout because I want to at least find out that I can't have sex with her. But in terms of sitting there, I just wrote my 10 commandments of plowing on my blog a couple of weeks ago. Basically 10 minutes, if by 10 minutes you're not getting anything, it's a waste of your time to stay in that set. Go come back later maybe if you really really are attracted to him. But that like constant plowing just really, it's a waste of your time and it'll stop you from getting laid. Like there will be nights where you won't get laid because you plowed, which is stupid. And so you wouldn't recommend like, you know, if she's kind of subtly breaking and poor, you wouldn't recommend doing an oh shit moment because like, I would feel- No, you're getting an indicator of disinterest. Right. You can't try to go forward with someone who's already telling you they don't like you. That'd be like- Exactly, because I feel really weird like being like- No, it doesn't work. When she's turning away and I'm like, I really like this about you. It just doesn't work because they're just like, oh, whatever, loser, right? They're like, huh, that's nice. Now, I mean, the best strategy that I've ever come up with is to leave, come run a jealousy plot line where they can see that other girls like you and then come back 20 minutes later and just reopen with whatever. You know, you can even reopen with like a high five and just kind of gauge. It won't always work, you know? Like there's no always fixes in any of this stuff but that to me is the most consistent way to turn sets around. I had a set where I opened this girl. This is a funny lay report. It's actually in my book. It's called Karaoke Till Sunrise. I opened this girl and she ignored me. Like straight up ignored me. Like I was like, yeah, and she's like, and so I left and then there were two girls that night in red shirts and like tight jeans and they were blonde with big tits. So I thought this girl was the other one and I reopened her later and I ended up fucking that girl. Like a girl who literally ignored me would not talk to me like eight hours later as I had to do karaoke until like 7 a.m. But yeah, like it's not, standing there and trying to plow really just lowers your value because you're trying too hard. Like a really cool guy. Like he thinks it's, like one of the things that I teach is I act like it's really weird if the girls don't like me. Like I have a bunch of like sub communications in my body language and like things that I say and facial expressions where I make it seem like it's weird for them to not like me because that's what naturals do, right? Like there was a guy who lived at Project Hollywood called Natural Josh, right? This guy was like the fucking, this guy got laid more than any pickup artist like at that house. Like that guy was fucking girls like every fucking night. And this guy like, he would really like, it was like he had this weird perceptual filter where he couldn't understand why a girl wouldn't like him. So like he'd be in set with these girls and he'd be like trying to make out with them and they'd be like shoving him away or whatever and he'd be like, he'd be like, dude come make out with me. And like he was super good looking so that had something to do with it. But like he really like, he just, it didn't compute in his head. And the girl like, it's one of those freaky things that you see every now and then like where you can see that the girl like looks at it and she's like, wait, this guy thinks it's weird that I don't, maybe I should like it. Like it's a weird thing. So you want to kind of cultivate that. Like that's a really, that's a really big thing that I do a lot is when I start to get stuff like that in the beginning, I'm just kind of like, you guys don't get out much, huh? Okay. Well, I'm awesome. And I'm a comedian so I can do this all night. Hey. Like kind of be immune to negative feedback or just give a little subtle, like... I don't want to say immune because then you become like non-reactive guy who doesn't read social cues. But you got to start to do things earlier on. Like by the time a girl's breaking rapport with you, you're already in damage control, right? You've already fucked up a little bit. So especially if that happens in the first like 10 minutes. Like the first 10 minutes, it should be like laugh, laugh, touching, fun, like awesome, right? She starts to like break rapport. You're already kind of in damage control. So I would say the real problem is not what to do in this specific situation. It's what you can do to stop that situation from happening as much. Okay, one more quick question about qualifying. Like the oh shit moments where you qualify. Like what exactly is an oh shit moment if she's not breaking rapport with you? Okay, so an oh shit moment is when you're having a fun conversation. You're not sure if she really likes you. You're not sure if you're in comfort. You're not sure if this is just like a friendly conversation. So you try to qualify. You go, okay, I don't know if I have attraction or not. I have no idea where I am in this like crazy model that Sin drew up on the board. Try to qualify, right? She jumps in the qualification hoop. Keep trying to increase the qualification, right? You get to a large hoop, now you're in comfort. You know, you throw out a medium hoop. You say something like, what do you want to be when you grow up? And she's like, I don't know, I am it. You're in attraction. She's not attracted. She's not attracted enough to answer a medium hoop. She's not attracted. So it's really just a matter of pulling up the map and being like, oh, okay, I'm not there yet. I'm still in attraction. Cool. Hi. What are your thoughts on Brent's style game? I'm sorry? What are your thoughts on Brent's style game? I have not been out with Brent. Actually, that's not true. I went out with Brent in 2005. Captain Jack, who's my wing, had been hanging out with him a lot. I think that there's a lot of good in Brent's style game from what I've seen and what I've heard. Basically, his whole thing is he just goes out and he's really social. He talks to everyone. He'll be talking to one girl, another girl will walk by and he'll be like, hey, what's up? And then basically, he just gives out his number and he runs these after parties. Brent doesn't escalate, so he only has, because he's got these weird standards about sex where he only wants a girl who is understand that it's purely a sexual relationship. So his results are a bit skewed because of that. But I think ultimately, I would not recommend Brent game for beginners. At all. I think that it's kind of an advanced thing. And I also think that it's not one of the top systems that I would recommend. I think- Well, aside from maybe the guy himself, the belief structure that you should never chase. Yeah, no, I disagree. I totally disagree with that. I disagree 100% with the idea that you don't chase and that you don't supplicate. If you're gonna get laid, the bottom line is, we're trying to get laid. Who gives a fuck about how we get laid, right? Someone asked me about my personal issue with mystery. This was a big personal issue with mystery because I used to get laid on boot camp all the time and mystery would do all these day twos because I was just like, I'm down with the same nights. And mystery would be like, well, that was fool's made. And I'm like, I had sex. I was like, I had sex, I win. I was like, there's no way that you can tell me that having sex was a bad thing. So I definitely don't, I don't subscribe to that. I subscribe to the theory that you do what you gotta do, you know? That's basically it. And one more question. It's about strippers. I've noticed that if you have any amount of sexual escalation, You can't do it. Exactly. So how does your model change with strippers? You actually, right now that's something I'm working on with a guy named Shaft out in Dallas because I've started to implement some same night lay stuff into strippers. And it's coming along slowly. I definitely think you can do it. It's just, there's a specific way of doing it where you have to really release it quickly and you have to keep it out of her frame. The thing with stripper game is it's much more of a monologue than any other type of game because their frames are super strong. When you think about strippers, you have to think about the idea of sub-personalities. This is all Shaft stuff, which really revolutionized my understanding of stripper game. Basically, you're dealing with a salesperson and you're dealing with a real girl. That real girl's in there somewhere, but the salesperson is the dominant personality. So do you spend more time focusing on grounding stories, for example? No, well, what you wanna do, yeah. There's definitely an element of grounding to it, but what you wanna do is you don't wanna, the major problem with the way Mystery Method and the way I used to teach stripper game was you try to actively turn off that stripper programming. You'd be like, hey, turn your stripper programming off for a second. And some girls would just be like, no. So what you wanna do is you wanna not do anything to threaten that salesperson because if you threaten that salesperson enough, they're just gonna leave. So what we wanna do is we wanna gradually increase their compliance as we kind of leave the salesman alone. Because think about it like this. If you go to buy a car, right? Like say you're a car dealer and I come in to buy a car and I'm like, yeah, man, I really wanna buy this car. Can you give me a Coke? You're gonna go get me the Coke, right? To make that sale, that's easy. But then you come back and I'm like, hey, man, I really wanna buy this car, but I really wanna come over to your house tonight and have a family dinner with you. Like me, you and your wife and kids all have dinner. Now you've gotta look at it as like the cognitive dissonance kicks in. Cognitive dissonance is the way we reconcile ideas in our mind, right? Because we all have these images of ourselves. So if you do that, you're basically a whore, right? You're basically gonna do anything to make a sale. So right there, cognitive dissonance is gonna kick in and the guy has to decide how much he wants to make a sale. Same thing with a stripper. If you can get a stripper to do enough things for you and answer enough kind of deeper qualification questions, the compliance increases to the point where that salesperson shuts off because now she has to be like, well, wait, I'm doing all this stuff for this guy. I must like him, it must not be a money thing because I'm not a whore. Like that's the basic psychological principle there is that strippers make a very clear distinction, some of them, between whores and strippers, right? Others turn tricks, but that's a different story. Cool? Awesome. Hey, dude. Is there anything specific you've noticed between the guys who get really, really good and the guys who don't? Yeah, yeah. The first thing is balls. The big things we can't teach are balls and being aggressive. Like those two factors, a guy who has balls and who's aggressive is gonna get laid more than a guy who has all the routines and all the stuff in the world, right? And balls really just comes down to how much tolerance to social pressure you have, how much you don't care what people think about you. I know Brad has some great social anxiety exercises that you can find online that are really, I teach those to my students, but the idea of being a person who does what they wanna do and doesn't care about the consequences is very, very attractive. Actually, I teach a whole course now called Hollywood Attraction. Basically, me and my buddy Moxie, who works for Love Systems, we spent like the last three months trying to figure out how to get attraction in the quickest possible way. And we figured out that the best way to get attraction is to leverage social pressure, right? You can do shit, like a lot of guys, who here opens seated sets? Cool, how do you open a seated set? Let's say it's a booth at a club. Okay, that's the normal way of doing it. The Hollywood Attraction way is you dive into the fucking booth, right? Like fucking Superman. You'll see this shit. I do this shit on program. There are boot camp reviews about it. I dive into booths. Why? Because here's the interesting thing. This works especially well on mixed sets because you guys are all aspiring pickup artists, right? That means all of you guys, anyone in here never done a cold approach? Okay, cool. So you guys have all tolerated the social pressure of doing a cold approach. Most guys can't do that. So you're thinking like these guys are like these big alpha guys. Social pressure paralyzes the fuck out of them, right? You'll sit there, you'll watch. You dive into a booth, like me and Moxie did this in Vegas at Pure. I dove over a rope into the VIP section, like rolled and landed in front of the booth, like, and then I started drinking out of their drink. And like the guys were like, the guys were like, hey man, I'm like, hey man, you're awesome, right? And like they were like, oh, that was the shit. Like just me rewarding them a little bit. They were like, that was the shit. I'm like, thanks. And I got to stay at this VIP table all night and game their girls. So tolerance to social pressure is massively attractive. The reason is evolutionarily, the guy who's got tolerance to social pressure is generally gonna be a leader, the guy who goes for what he wants, right? So that would be the best thing is put yourself in these like scary situations. You know, like it was, I mean, me and Moxie did, we called it the fucked up boot camp. Basically we made an agreement that for the whole time he was here in America. He could ask me to do anything he wanted me to do as long as it wouldn't get me arrested. And I could do the same and we had to do it. So like, I remember I was driving down the street and there was a girl walking down the street and he's like, get out of the car and open her. Pull the car over and open her. And I'm like, fuck. I'm like, hey, I had to meet you. So I stopped my car and like, boom, attraction. Eight seconds, three seconds of which was getting out of the car. Like, it's crazy. Like you can get away with some crazy shit if you're willing to do it, you know? So, cool, 10 minutes, a couple more. You gotta be friendly. It goes with the attraction frames, right? As long as you're playful, friendly, socially dominant, teasing, and fun, you're fine, right? And it doesn't matter because the guys literally like, I don't wanna be on tape like telling you guys to go dive into people's boots because it can, like you will sometimes get bad reactions. It's the definition of blow me or blow me out, right? But when you do get attraction, it's the hardest, fastest attraction you will ever see and feel. Like it's great, like I can demonstrate it. Like you will think I could fuck the girl in five seconds in the bathroom. Like it's so quick. And I watched this with Moxie because Moxie, like he just doesn't feel social pressure. And so like he was doing all this crazy shit. Like the reason I, the way this whole thing came about was we were at Vegas at Super Conference and Brendan was like, you ever do stuff and like try to recover? I'm like, yeah, I play a recovery game where you purposely try to fuck up and see if you can fix it. He's like, yeah, what do you do? I'm like, I usually just say the creepiest thing I can come to mind. He's like, I've got the best thing ever. I'm like, what is it? He's like, I want to take you to a bar where people piss on each other. So we're in the circle bar at Hard Rock, right? There's this three set, there's this mixed five set. Two of the girls are tens. They're like tall models, super hot. Brendan walks up to him, he leans up against the bar and he's like, hi, I want to take you to a club. And they're like, where people piss on each other. She like shoves him away. But he can do it and like, I watched him do it. Like one out of three times he can turn that into a make out. It's crazy, crazy, right? And so that was where I wanted to be like, I want to learn to do that shit, because that shit's crazy. Yeah, you had a question? I'll get to you in a second. Oh, you have the microphone, never mind. I won, I won, I won, have the mic. Just messing with you, man. About small chunking your knowledge, everything that I've been hearing so far, I think personally for me, the next thing I need to do is working on the hoops. Something I've never heard that you talk about today is there's different types of hoops to get you to the different levels there. I'd like you to go over like the different types of hoops and like an example of one of each. Real quickly. Sounds good. So there's small hoops, medium hoops, large hoops, right? Small hoops are yes or no questions where they're like retard questions. Like, are you a good friend? Are you adventurous? Are you spontaneous? Can you cook? Something that unless she actively wants to end the conversation, she'll say yes to, right? That would be standard qualification. Then the next example would be rapport compliance qualification, right? Medium hoops, medium hoops are not yes or no. So that's where the rubber really meets the road. Medium hoops are questions like, if you could be anything in the world with no chance of failure, what would you do? What nationality are you? Like, what are you really passionate about? Those are ideas of medium hoops. Questions where if she doesn't really like you, it's a little too deep and she's just not gonna go there. So you know, you ask something like that and she's like, I don't wanna talk about that. You're not there, you're still in attraction. And then large hoops are blatantly qualifying questions. All sexual hoops are large hoops. Large hoops are where she realizes that she's qualifying herself, but because compliance builds momentum, the way this came about was like I said earlier, when I took my program, we had one qualification line and that was you wait for three IOIs and then you say, what do you have going for you more than your looks? So I was reading a lot of sales literature at the time and they have the idea of yes ladders, right? The more someone says yes, the more likely they are to in the future. So I took that and applied it to pick up. I was like, okay. Cause like 50% of the time the girls wouldn't answer the large hoop, you know? So I was like, that's really like it's too, it's too glitchy for me. So I was like, all right, what if I asked a small hoop, like a medium hoop and a large hoop and that worked okay. And then I found the best ratio in my experience is too medium, too small, one large. You do that, you're officially in comfort. She answers those five. Too small, too medium, too large. Small come before medium, medium come before large. Yeah. Cause you're building momentum. Compliance builds momentum. The more someone does for you, the more likely they are to do something in the future. Cool. You were talking about the diving onto the guys and you know that Jim Morrison asked, you know what the fuck, don't care attitude. That's that, it seems like it'll work great. How do you avoid getting your ass kicked? If you stomp up there and drink a guy's drink, it messes up, you know? It's like, how do you avoid getting your ass kicked doing mixed sets? You try to be as friendly as possible and you don't act and you don't egg people on and get into confrontations, you know? So just maintain respect. If the guys are like, like sometimes, I remember I dove into a booth in Austin, Texas and the guys were like, get the fuck out of here. So I just leave. Okay. You know? Here, the reframe for Hollywood attraction is sets are not scary. They're either boring or they're fun. And in 10 seconds, you're gonna know which way it's gonna go. So that's kind of- So Jess, if it gets shady, just eject the fuck out. Yeah, if they're like, get the fuck out of here. Like, cause you're not gonna, I personally, like, I can't win over a set every time where they're telling me to get the fuck out of there. I don't think anybody can, you know? Like, you went for, here's my thing, right? I go for home runs. Like, I don't go for the little base hits. I wanna do, like I said earlier, I'm efficient. I work everything through efficiency theory, right? So if I can get attraction in eight seconds, that means that I'm, you know, possibly three to 10 minutes closer to sex than I would be if I sat there and ran an attraction phase. So that's kind of my thing. It's not for everybody. Most guys can't do it. Like, we do, I do a real cheap seminar. But enough guys wanna do it. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow, like Sunday or something. If we can get, like, six guys, you wanna do it. Basically, it's two hours of seminar where I talk about how this stuff works and have you guys practice it. Then we go out and we do eight missions out in the field. Most guys cannot get through eight missions. So we kinda, I try to force you guys as much as possible, but I'm not gonna, like, shove you into doing anything. But that's basically what we do with Hollywood attraction is it's just a instant, it's an instant depossification. Like, you're either gonna sink or you're gonna swim. Like, you're either gonna do it or you're not. And that's basically it. But the guys who did it, like, another thing we do on Hollywood attraction is one of my openers now is I kiss girls on the shoulder before I even say anything to them. Yeah, so pretty hardcore. So just don't give a fuck if you get your ass kicked. Just go in there and do it anyways. I really, like, I've never gotten into a confrontation doing this because I just leave. There's no point in egging anyone on. You're not gonna, like, there's not, I don't need to be alpha. Like, I don't give a fuck. Like, I'm not gonna get laid here so I don't need to just be spending my time. I hate fucking clubs, dude. Like, I wanna spend as little time in the club as possible. I wanna get the girl and leave. So like, I don't need to do 20 minutes in a set that isn't gonna help me. Like, I just, they don't like me. Cool, next set, right? It works. Here's the thing. Like, all of you guys are still coming from the paradigm of like, I must go five for five and every set must open. That was where I was until about a year ago when I had a conversation with Brad P. Me and him were out and I was talking to him and he was like, you know, what we do is really different. And I'm like, what are you talking about? I'm like, we both try to fuck chicks in bathrooms. I'm like, that seems pretty similar to me. He's like, no. He's like, you really care if every set opens. And I'm like, well, if you're good, every set should open. He's like, no. He's like, look, if you go one for 10 every night, you get laid every night. And I was like, that's a much better way of looking at it, right? Like, there's gonna be a girl out there. So what's the point of like trying to manufacture something? And once you get good, most of the time they like you. You know, like, I don't, I mean, with all the Hollywood, three months of Hollywood attraction, I think I had three sets tell me to get the fuck out. I had a couple of sets just be stunned, but nothing really all that bad. Like, here's the thing, none of us are that important. We all like, we think we're the most important person in the universe and that the world cycles around us. It really doesn't. Most people don't give a fuck about what you're doing. So there's no point in you caring, right? Cool, four minutes. One last question, all the way in the back. Back there in the gray. You mentioned about building social tolerance. Is there anything you could do before you go out to build? No, no, because here's the thing. Like, getting into state before you get to a club is useless because it's not in the right conditions. Unless you have a club, unless you can exactly duplicate the conditions you're gonna be in, your reticular activation system once you get into the club is gonna go crazy because there's lights and there's all this stimulation and your state's just gonna dissipate. So there's not really anything. Brad P. has a series of 18 exercises that if you do once a week, will massively lower your social anxiety. I don't know exactly where you can find them, probably on fastseduction.com. If you guys email me, I can send them to you. You know, Brad's let me do that before. But in terms of like getting in state before you get in the club, the way to get in the state when you're in the club is to immediately do a set, right? The thing is, we're not trying to get to, we're not trying to get to like, I don't give a fuck, we're just trying to get to like, I'm indifferent, you know? Like TD calls it crossing the indifference threshold. You just wanna get to the point where people think you're a loser and you just don't really care that much. You're just like, eh, whatever, I talked to those girls, they didn't like me next set. So my things for state in the club are open a set before you do anything. Don't buy a drink, don't smoke a cigarette, don't go to the bathroom, don't do a lap around the club, right in the set, they don't have to be hot. It's just getting you into that social mode. And then, progressively, what we do now is me and Moxie created this thing called the rotation of glory, which we go in to the club, we open our first set, then we take a lap around the club and we tag the hottest five girls in the club and then we go into those sets rapid fire. I have the opinion that it's better to go up to the hottest girls first rather than building social proof because I think with the really hot girls, they're like, they can smell the blood in the water. Like if you step to a really hot girl and you're not completely, like if you don't think you can get her, you're done. So it's really important to build that tolerance to beauty and build that idea of stepping up to the hottest girls right away in the hardest situations because otherwise they're just gonna sense the fear and you're not gonna have good results. So don't ease in, dive into the fucking pool. All right, that's all for me. I have lay report books. I actually printed out the lay report book for you guys, it's usually 78 bucks. I'm selling it for 40 bucks here plus you get a printed copy and I'll send you the updated version comes out August 22nd. Other than that, if enough people wanna do Hollywood attraction I'll be in the back of the room. We can get six guys, I'll do that. Free R. Kelly.