 Hi everyone, and welcome to our session today about microaggressions against women in the workplace. I'm Ashraq Asaf, a senior development manager on the cloud team at IBM. Throughout my career, whether it was in Egypt, the United States, or Canada, I've always been a female minority in technology. I've experienced, witnessed, and heard of all the microaggressions we will be discussing today. I would be talking and get interrupted, get assumed to be non-technical, and even walking on the street, I once got assumed to be weak. Too bad for that guy, he's probably still in jail. Building my awareness about microaggressions really helped me cope and respond to them. Many women in technology face similar challenges due to the lower rate of female diversity in technology and the lack of awareness of their collective experience. Today, we aim to equip you with the knowledge you need to identify and respond to microaggressions. Disclaimer, while not aware, you might have been experiencing microaggressions. After this session, you might be able to better tell when they happen. Not sure if that will make you feel better or worse. Though, we will present you with some tips and tricks that are non-violent to be able to respond without getting yourself fired. Joining me today is David, who is very well known to be one of the most amazing male allies. Thank you, Ashrock. I'm David Leboche, and hello, everyone. I'm a distinguished engineer with IBM, and I'm learning how to become a better male ally. Today, I'm going to mansplain to Ashrock and man interrupt Ashrock in all the appropriate places in the presentation, and I'm going to have a few tips for you how to become a better male ally. Microaggressions, what is a microaggression? A microaggression is a brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavioral, and environmental indignity, whether it's intentional or unintentional, which communicates hostile, derogatory, or negative slides, invalidations, and insults to an individual or a group because of their marginalized state in society. Microaggressions could target individuals or groups from a certain race or ethnicity, gender, sexuality, and sexual orientation. People with mental illnesses or age. Today, we will focus on microaggressions against women in the workplace. The first microaggression we will discuss today is man-terruption. And man-terruption is a behavior when men interrupt women unnecessarily, which leads to a pretty serious imbalance in the amount of female versus male contributions in the conversations. Woman-interrupted is an app that uses the mobile's microphone to detect man-terruption in daily conversations. Using the difference in the frequency of male and female voices, no audio is recorded. The voice becomes data in real time. Another microaggression is mansplaining. Mansplaining is to comment or to explain something to a woman in a condescending, overconfident, and often inaccurate or oversimplified manner. It is explaining without regard to the fact that the women knows more than the men, explaining. Like me explaining to Eshraak what technology infrastructure or cloud is, when I know that she has more than 13 years experience in that field. Microaggression is man-peating or he-peating. It happens when a woman suggests an idea, it gets ignored, and later, the same idea is absolutely adored when repeated by a man. Sexist language is another form of microaggression. Examples are the use of the pronoun he when referring to all the people. And being constantly reminded by a coworker that you are or we are only women. Another is assumptions of inferiority. It happens when a woman is assumed to be physically or intellectually incompetent, particularly in comparison to men. Like female engineering managers being assumed to be non-technical, or female candidates being assumed to be less competent. The comic here reminds me of my mom. One should not make a similar assumption about her. She used to design and run portrait programs on the first IBM mainframe that landed in Egypt to unravel mysteries about the Egyptian great pyramids of Giza. Her form is traditional gender role, prejudicing, and stereotyping. Examples are when hiring managers ask me if I plan on getting married and having kids. I understand that at times the intent is to show that companies offer support for parents, yet having that be a topic on an interview for a woman specifically gives her a negative impression, especially that these questions don't get asked to men. Another form is when female engineers are assumed to be office admins, sales, or marketing personnel. Like me being assumed to be from another department because I dress nicely. Bossy, aggressive, pushy, cold. These are just some of the terms used to describe women in the workplace according to Catalyst, a global non-profit that works with CEOs to build gender equality. Assertive females at times get called bossy while their male counterparts are called forceful leaders. Those microaggressions are subtle and perpetrators may be well-meaning. The recipients often dismiss the event and blame themselves as overly sensitive to the encounter. If challenged by a minority person or an observer, perpetrators will often claim that there is a misunderstanding or they were just kidding or even accuse you of blowing things out of proportion. Challenging microaggressions by responding appropriately can help create more honest communication with the people with whom you work with. At the very least, it can help the aggressors or potential aggressors understand your perspective and establish boundaries around certain topics. How to respond? If you choose to respond, your response will vary by situation, context, and relationship. You need to help the aggressor understand that she or he is not under attack for their comment. Dr. Diane J. Goodman, a social justice and diversity consultant says, if we want people to hear what we're saying and potentially change their behavior, we have to think about things that will not immediately make them defensive. Some tactics that Dr. Goodman recommends to deal with microaggressions are first, ask for clarification. For example, could you say more about what you mean by that? Or how come did you think of that? How have you come to think that? Separating intent from impact. For example, I know you didn't realize this, but when you, I had a comment about the behavior you've witnessed. It was hurtful or offensive because instead you could and offer a different language that the perpetrator can use or a different behavior than they can show. Third, sharing your own process. For example, I noticed that you can comment, like mention the comment or behavior I used to do or say that too, but then I learned and mentioned all the learnings that let you to stop doing and acting these ways. Male allies. Male allies are members of an advanced group committed to building relationships with women expressing as little sexism in their own behavior as possible. Understanding the social privilege conferred by their gender and demonstrating an active effort to address gender inequities at work and in society. Deborah Meyerson and Megan Thompson, Tom Kins refer to such male allies as tempered radicals. They are catalysts for change, challenging organizational structures that disadvantage women while remaining committed to the success of the organization. The ally continuum. Has four steps. At the first level, you're apathetic, and you don't have an understanding of the issues surrounding diversity and inclusion that are in the news today. Get aware. Learn about them. Second stage, awareness. If you are aware, you know your basic concepts. You may not be active on behalf of yourself or others yet. But you know the issues. So the question is how do you activate yourself? If you're active, you're likely well in. And are sharing and seeking diversity. You may not be doing it proactively. Which means you wait to be asked or wait to be prompted. So then the question is how can you move from that to true advocacy. As an advocate. You are committed and your routinely and proactively championing inclusion. How can men be better allies? First, just listen and remember it's not about you. Generous world-class listening requires focus, sincerity, empathy, refusal to interrupt, and genuine valuing of both her experience and her willingness to share it with you. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Learning about the professional challenges of women may produce feelings of self shame, self blame that cause anxiety. The solution is more interaction and learning and not less. Engage in supportive partnerships with women. The best cross-chender ally relationships are bidirectional and mutually growth enhancing. Reverse mentoring could come to mind. Share your social capital, your network, your assets. With your mentees, your co-chees, and the women you are sponsoring. Always keep in mind that staying informed and raising awareness is of utmost importance. Let's talk more action. Calls to action. First, learn. Learn to identify and respond to microaggressions. Then educate. Educate others about microaggressions happening to you and around you. Respond. Separate intent from impact and try to avoid making the offender defensive. Advocate. Don't be a bystander. Be an active ally. Thanks everyone for attending the session today and looking forward to hearing from you and answering your questions. Thank you. Bye bye.