 What's going on you guys? All right. So today on the single guy channel again. I am not the single guy We have a question. So let's read it Hey, Lloyd. My dating life is going okay. I actually have a lot of options with women. However, I keep running into an issue Every time I meet a girl that I like I fall really hard for her and end up getting super invested at first It's fine, but then I start to get feelings after just a couple of dates and find myself staring at my phone Waiting for her to text me back all the time the last girl I dated We only really saw each other for two months and I'm still having trouble recovering from her any tips to help with this Thanks. Okay. Cool. So this is something I'll see a lot in My students, you know, even if they have a lot of options with women even if they're a really attractive guy a Lot of times if your mentality if your lifestyle if everything's aren't in the right place You're gonna be getting invested Super quickly. Okay, so this is how to not get too invested too quickly with women, which is generally bad It's gonna be tough to make a connection with that person and actually see if they're right for you in your life What I've noticed and what generally happens is a couple things So what I'm gonna talk about in this video is I'm gonna talk about why this happens How you can avoid it and the kind of lifestyle choices that you should be making so this doesn't happen to you in the future Okay, so the first thing is that it happens because there's something going on with your life or your life in general Doesn't have enough that's making you happy Okay, if you're not getting fulfilled if you're not getting satisfied in your own life and some little piece of happiness comes in and You grab on to it and you're like oh god. I got a hold on to this because if I lose it I'm not gonna be happy again. Okay, so typically you might start out Being whatever's about this person. You might be like, yeah, she's nice or she's pretty or whatever or maybe she's really pretty But you know you've met other really pretty girls Okay, then you start to talk with her then you start to feel good when you're around her Then you get those good feelings. Maybe sometimes you get those butterflies You're excited to hear her message and then when you're excited to see her message You get happy when you receive it dopamine gets put into your brain Okay, so when this happens and you don't get it then your brain's like, but I'm not getting that Dopamine fix I'm not getting that feeling that good feeling that I had before So then you start to worry. Okay, because you're not getting it in the right way now It becomes a problem and then what you'll start to find is that you start to become a little bit needy when this happens Okay, then the more needy you get the more you're checking your phone The more you're worried about not getting that text back the more you worry and the more needy you get and it's a vicious spiral Until you probably lose the girl after what this guy says, which is you know around two months Okay, I generally see that's a pretty general turn three weeks to two months. Maybe even longer something like that Okay, the time length varies So how do you get away from this the way you get away from this is by having a life having an Ecosystem where you're regularly getting happiness or regularly getting fulfilled from it So that way when something awesome or an awesome girl comes into your life Then that's a good thing, but it's already good in your life So it's like I'm gonna looking I'm looking for someone to make my awesome life Even more awesome. Okay, so it's like the cherry on top But if your life is bad if it's down here and happiness comes in and it takes you up here And then when you don't get it it's back down here. That's too far of a job It should be like your life should be up here The girl comes in makes it a little bit better and then when she's gone, okay, you don't hear from her or whatever your life's still pretty good It's still up here But too many guys they're they're down here. And so it makes their life a lot more difficult Now if you're in this position where your life's not good, I Get it. It's tough to change the stuff to change overnight So a lot of guys what they want to do is they want to completely abandon dating I'm not gonna date until I figure my life out. Okay. Well, I Got news for you. I'm I don't know. I've been doing this for a long time. There's still things about my life I haven't figured out. Okay. What you should do is you should go after both things at the same time Okay, continue to see women but continue to improve your life in different areas And when a girl comes along that you like it's okay to be invested a little bit in her It's okay to have those feelings too many guys don't know how to deal with bad feelings in their life They want to fight them. They would I don't want to be invested. I don't want to like her I don't like this and so what it causes is it causes even more anxiety it causes them to feel exhausted And they just give up the whole dating process, you know, right then and there, okay I like it when a girl comes into my life that that you know, I'm invested in and granted my life is pretty frickin awesome right now But even when it wasn't when I had a girl that came in there that was good and I felt a little bit invested I didn't try and fight the feelings too. I first I did but then later on I learned to not fight those feelings I let it go. I let whatever pain or whatever The things that I was experiencing I observed them I took notes on them and I said, okay, I'm feeling this because of this reason What can I do to make these feelings a little bit better or to not think about it a little bit more? Okay, and so then I was able to kind of plan my life around that way So tackling both things at the same time really helped me when guys try and fight things all the time when they try and say Oh, I'm not gonna do that or I'm gonna completely abandon that option they go to these extremes It makes progress very very difficult because in life What's gonna happen with your development is it's not gonna be a straight line You're gonna go and you're gonna try something and it brings you over here and you're like, okay Well that didn't work too much So then you do something that takes you a little bit back here and then you do something else And it takes you way over here and you're like, okay, well that didn't work So maybe I'll try and go back here okay You're trying to find your path and it's not gonna be a straight line and that's okay But what a lot of people will do is when they go out here and it doesn't improve them as much as they want it to And they're having problems. They completely abandoned it They completely abandoned not just the bad things, but the good things too So they end up starting right back down to the bottom and What I don't want you guys to do is I don't want you to be too hard on yourself and Eliminate some of the progress that you might have experienced from maybe you were too invested in that girl But you learned you were a little too needy or you learned you maybe you didn't show enough interest or weren't able to Your game sucked or whatever it was. Okay, that's good. That's a learning experience Don't completely abandon the process just because you had a bad experience Okay, so continue to improve the areas of your life continue to work on yourself and pay attention to this channel and pay attention to My practical tips, but don't completely abandon the process Don't completely abandon yourself because I think you're gonna be doing yourself a disservice. This life is tough It's not easy and too many guys these days They don't know how to deal with bad feelings and when things don't go their own way And so I don't want you to be like those guys I want you to be a careful kind of observant kind of from a scientific standpoint like take a step back and observe the Feelings that you're having just from an objective standpoint and figure out what you can do better in the future to make more good feelings happen and that's something that I help out with my clients a lot too I mean, I'm helping several guys out right now with People who are having this problem where they get way too invested too quickly guys who have amazing options Honestly, like there's no shortage of women that want to date them, but once they get into like even a dating relationship They tend to have issues and so we're working on that right now with them And you know, this is something that I'm pretty So if you're interested in getting help with that there's a link for personal coaching down below There's a form you fill out and if your application looks good, we'll talk. Thanks a lot you guys Hope you got a lot out of this. Let me know what you thought of it in the comment section below. Good luck out there