 The weird circle. In this cave, by the restless sea, we are met to call from out the past stories, strange, and weird. Bellkeeper, hold the bell, so all may know we are gathered again in the weird circle. Out of the past, phantoms of a world gone by speak again the immortal tale The Four Fifteen Express. This is a report to the acting chairman of the East Anglian Railroad Company from William Langford Special Agent. Returned from Russia per your instructions to investigate one John Dwellighus and the matter of 75,000 pounds missing from the East Anglian Railroad. I learned that Dwellighus was preparing to leave Friday, October the 14th, on the Four Fifteen Express to Clayborough. I made plans to be on the same train by arranging with my friends, the gelfs, to spend the weekend with them in Clayborough. Arrived at London Station, and as I was standing just outside the train. Hi, Diana! Diana, winter! Bill Langford! What are you doing here? The last I heard of you was, well, you were in Russia, weren't you? Very definitely in Russia. I could tell by the snow. I arrived back in London only last week. Bill Langford, I'd like to meet my mother, Mrs. Winters. Oh, how do you do, Mrs. Winters? How do you do? Oh, my hay fever. Trains give me hay fever every time. Say, how's the Russian climate for hay fever sufferers? Just about the same as everywhere else. Well, not like London. There ought to be a law against London, Winters. Where are you headed for, Bill? Clayborough, I'm going to spend the holidays with Pete Gelf, but his country place down there. His wife, Lydia, is in London just now. As a matter of fact, she's supposed to take the train down with me. Do you know her? I met her last winter during the social world. Oh, then why don't you join as my compartment, Lydia? Oh, I'd love to. What compartment will you be in? 42A. Really? I'm not surprising about 42A. Well, they usually don't use it. It's supposed to be, you laugh at me, but it's haunted. Nonsense. Oh, ghosts make me sneeze. Tell me, how do you know compartment 42 is haunted? Well, they say a man was killed there 10 years ago. His name was Jones, and his rather angry spiritual self is supposedly lingering around with the purpose of scaring people out of their wits. That's fine. Just fine. Our compartment's in the same car, just up the line. We'll hop in and see you later after a good mother settles. Yes, do that. Oh, gosh, I hope Lydia makes the train. No, she probably won't. You're so right. Well, if we see the ghost, ask him to stick around. I'd like to meet him. Oh, don't. It's... See you later, Diana. We'd better get in. Goodbye. Well, it's going to be a dreary trip, me and the ghost sharing a compartment. Oh, well, oh, hello. I didn't know I was going to have a companion in 42A. Something strange about a companion in 42A? No, it's just that I expected to see a ghost. Oh. It's usual. Lydia missed the train. I was afraid she would. Did you say something? No, no, nothing. Oh, by the way, the name's Langford. Bill Langford, sir. And yours? Uh, uh, Jones. John Jones. Jones? Jones. Oh. Something the matter with the name Jones? No, no, is there? No. One, uh, meets so many Jones these days. Does one? Yes, one does. Oh. It's, uh, just that you weren't very certain of it. I see that you've just come back from Russia. Oh, how did you know that? The labels on your suitcase. I've done some extensive traveling myself. Well, you're very discerning, Mr. Jones. I'm a collector of curios, a hobby, you know. I've picked up quite a few interesting things in Russia. Really? Oh, then I have something that would probably interest you that I got there. Oh? It's a gift for a friend of mine. It was an ancient Cossack money wallet, which has now been converted to a cigarette case. Oh, very interesting. Have you got it on you? Yes, of course, it's wrapped up. But, uh, I can unwrap it. It's in my pocket. Here it is. See, it's very interesting. May I examine it? Oh, yes, of course you may. Tremendous thing to carry about. The money must have gone in here, in the back flap. Yes, yes it did. A sort of, uh, combination wallet and cigarette case. Well, except if you ever put money in there, you'd have a devil of a time fishing it out. Quite right, quite right. You know it's an old Russian custom to put a cigarette in a new cigarette case before giving it to anyone. Oh, really? I didn't know that. Yes, here, let me put one of mine in for you. Oh, thank you. There you are. A special brand of cigarette for a special case. If you don't mind my hand, I'm particularly jumpy this evening. Nervous, you know. Here's your case, sir. Oh, thank you. I'll wrap it up again. My mind is getting cracked. Our little stole is what I need. Would you mind watching my suitcase for me? I'll be back in a few seconds. Certainly, Mr. Jones. These compartment trains are such narrow aisles. It really isn't a stole at all. It's like pushing through a tunnel. Hello. Oh, poor Jill. Wait until I tell him his wife missed the train. Hello, Bill. Come on in, Diana. Thanks. I got mother comfortably settled finally. Where's Lydia Joff? Oh, missed the train. Unless she's in another compartment. And I'm not up to hunting for her. I don't blame you. Well, Diana, I see you know the man who shares my compartment with me, Mr. Jones. Do I? Yes, you chatted with him in the hallway. That's the man in the next compartment. I thought I heard you talk to, uh, to Jones. No, that's the man in the next compartment. His name is Augustus Rakes. You know him. But, uh, didn't you pass a man coming through? No. That's impossible. Why? Because, uh, John Jones got up and left the compartment as you came in. I heard you talk to... Wait a minute. Let me go out and try and get him. I'm not going crazy yet. Uh, Mr. Jones. Mr. Jones. Mr. Jones. I'm positive that... Well, if you don't believe me... Don't get so excited, Bill. If you say he was here, he was here. I might have missed him coming through. But you couldn't have missed him. He left just as you came in. His suitcase is right over my... Well, well, it was there. I knew it was there. I remember his putting it there. Oh, the ghost. Oh, Bill, how unfair of you. You told me you'd hold him if you found him. Ghost Diana, I swear... It's still night, but it... Oh, Bill... Oh, Lydia. When did you get on the train? Oh, I almost missed it. It was too, too, too dreadful. Oh, that's me every time. Hello, Diana. Hello, Lydia. How are you? Congested. But then everybody's congested this year. It's fashionable. Bill, darling, it's been ghastly. Just ghastly. I searched every single compartment. Lydia, did you... pass a man in the hall as you came through? I'm married. I mean, in this car with a grey-tweets suit and red tie. Sort of an old-fashioned bowler hat. Mustache. Very heavy mustache. No. And he walked with a limp. Well, honestly, Bill, I hadn't passed anybody in this train in the last three cars. Everybody was sitting down. Oh, I did pass a lot of men way up our whole convention of them. No, he wouldn't have had time to walk up more than two cars by the time... Diana, are you positive? Absolutely. If you don't believe me, ask somebody else. Try Augustus Rakes, the next compartment. I don't mind if I do. Pardon me for a moment, will you? I haven't seen you in ages, Diana. Yes, it's been a very long time. Very long. How did you like the season in London last week? Oh, it was all right. I don't bring much for the social world. Mr. Rakes? Yes. I know you don't know me, but I'm Bill Lang for the friend of Diana Winters. Oh, won't you sit down? No thanks. I'm just looking for the... well, for the man who shares my compartment. He walked down the passageway a few minutes ago and seems to have disappeared. He passed by your window. Nobody but two women have passed by. Diana Winters and another girl. I saw him walk towards your compartment. At least he turned in your direction. I wouldn't be sure, of course. I might have been looking in the other direction, but I didn't see anything. Oh, thanks. Do you know who's in their compartment next to you? No. No, I don't. Well, I might just as well ask them. Of course, of course. Do. And if I can help you find your friend, call on me, won't you? That's strange. I wonder... there's four people in this compartment. Come in. I'm sorry, everybody, but a friend of mine has disappeared. I'm sorry. Did anybody see a man in a gray suit pass this way about ten minutes ago? Gray suit and red tie, bowler hat, moustache. No. No, I was looking out the window. I was sleeping. No, not me. I was standing at the door and certainly have seen him. Standing at the door for the past ten minutes? Rather all the time, right at the door. I didn't see two women pass. How about you, mister? Oh, me? I didn't see nothing. What are you going to do about it? Well, I'm just curious. My name's Farrell. I'm a price fighter, mister. And if you've got any difference of opinion with me, I'll be glad to discuss it with you in my way. Oh, no difference at all. Well, I guess I better forget the whole thing. Return to my compartment and... and relax. I think he so goes down. How exciting! Oh, I should I know, but I wonder... he was so certain of it, Lydia. Strangest thing I've ever heard. Of course, everybody knows these dangling lines haunted. Well, at least that's what they say. Well, hello, Bill. Finally trace of your ghost. No, no trace at all. He's disappeared from the face of the earth. That is, if he were here at all. Oh, come, come. You don't believe that story about ghosts, I told you. Maybe. Only if John Jones was a ghost, he was the strangest ghost I ever met. And somehow I... I just don't believe it. Well, Bill, if John Jones was on this train, you'll come back. I think you'll get so excited about it. Nothing to get excited about. The bloke vanishes in front of my eyes, and I'm supposed to be calm? Ghosts are such a fun, Bill. Not that I've ever known one, ultimately, but we had a ghost party last year at the Crosslet. Tickets, tickets. Let me see. Mrs. Jelf in this compartment and a Mr. Langford. I'm Mrs. Jelf. Here you are. I'm Mrs. Winters. I'm a compartment three down the line. My mother has my ticket. Quite so, madam. How about you, Mr. Langford? Oh, here you are, conductor. Have you got a list of reservations in this car? East Anglian line has a policy of always reserving all seats in advance. Good. Have you got that list with you? Naturally. How many people were supposed to be traveling in this compartment? Two. Mrs. Peter Jelf in a Mr. Langford, I believe. That's what I just said. Mm-hmm. How about Mr. Jones? No, no, Mr. Jones. There's been only one Mr. Jones on this line. He died in this compartment ten years ago, and he's been a ghost ever since. Well, I tell you a very flesh and blood, John Jones was sitting with me earlier this evening. Yes, I even got a cigarette he gave me. It's a special brand. I got it here in my cigarette case. What? In what cigarette case? Uh, right in here, conductor. No. This is really a present I bought for your husband, Lydia. Oh. A flesh and curio. Tremendous thing. I showed it to Jones and he put a cigarette in it. How cute. Let's see. Here you are. There is a cigarette in here. Want to see Diana? I'd love to. What does this prove, Bill? Well, I don't smoke and, uh, Mr. Jones gave it to me. Hmm. You've either seen a cigarette smoking ghost, Mr. or perhaps you need a long rest. Tickets, please. Tickets? I'm not crazy. Nothing Russia was bad for you. I knew of a person who lived in Russia once and killed his mother a lot two years later. May I have my cigarette case back, Lydia? Oh, sorry, Bill. I was through looking at it, Diana. Oh, no, sure. I, uh, I wonder how mother's getting along. I better go back and see her. Oh, I'll go out in the corridor with you. I want to drop back to the smoking compartment. Perhaps, uh, Mr. Jones is back there. Good place for a cigarette smoking ghost. Hello, Augustus Rakes. How are you getting in the corridor? I get restless sitting down, Diana. Well, I want you to meet a friend of mine, Augustus Rakes. This is Lydia Gill. How do you do? Hello. I'll see you folks later. I'm going to take a quick look at the smoking compartment. What for, Mr. Langford? Well, believe it or not, for a ghost. And I'm not kidding. Maybe the ghost is real and I'm kidding myself. Who knows? Uh, this is the smoking compartment, I guess? Uh, uh, uh, uh, may I get by? Wait till I take a deep breath. Hmm. Where are you going? To the smoking compartment. Any objections? No. None that I can think of at any rate. I wish I had a little cooperation. You don't need cooperation, sir. You'll need a long rest. And I'll see you later, Mr. Langford. I can't wait. Well, if this isn't the strangest setup, I'm positive I saw Jones and not a ghost. Hmm. Well, I don't know. The last possible place it could be would be the... it must be this door. Jones! Jones! Jones! My name's not Jones. You know that, Langford. They... they helped me, Langford. I know who you are. Mr. John Dwerrihaus. The money. The money. It's safe. I saw you stick it in my wallet when you put the cigarette in there. I put it back. I was going to borrow my cigarette back. Hmm? The minute I saw they were on the train, I knew it was dangerous to carry it with me. Here. Let me help you. Get out of here. The lights have gone out. Quiet, or you're dead! For you, Mr. John Jones, Dwerrihaus, you're going to be a real ghost if you don't start talking. Where is that money? Always likes to exercise on trains, Lydia. I wouldn't worry about it. No, I don't like the way people keep disappearing. Your mother and Bill and that ghost. Well, if you're so worried about Bill, we'll send the conductor to the smoking compartment for him. I am worried about him. He's not well. That's odd. Oh, stop it, Lydia. Why don't I press the button for the conductor? Bill always was a little, well, shall we say, unsound at times. Hello, Lydia, Joe. By Farrell, how nice to see you. Farrell, meet Diana Winters. Farrell's a prize fighter, Diana. And a most exciting one. Have you seen Bill? How do you do? Hello, good-looking. Oh, dear, you look just the way Jelf looks every time he looks at Diana. Lydia, what are you doing in this train, Farrell? I didn't expect to see you. If you don't ask questions, Mrs. Jelf, you don't get no lies. Oh, sure words were never spoken. Were they, Diana? I wouldn't know. Ladies, did you call for me? Yes, conductor. I'm worried about Mr. Langford. Perhaps he's disappeared, too. Langford's disappeared so soon? Oh, yes. Oh, you know him, don't you, Farrell? Maybe I do, and maybe I don't. Lydia, stop stargazing out that open window. Uh... I'm not stargazing. Fuck off that window. It's an upside-down face. Mrs. Jelf, you just stay seated here in Mrs. Winters' compartment. I saw the ghost, conductor. Maybe you did, and maybe you didn't. Hey, what's going on in here, Diana? Lydia claims she saw a ghost, a face suspended outside the window. Nonsense. There are no ghosts, Mrs. Jelf. I saw him. I saw him. Oh, Mr. Frank. Come along, gentlemen. Langford has disappeared now. Follow me. They say he was going into smoking compartment. Come in, gentlemen. Who were Langford? Look, conductor. My word. Well, Mrs. Winters, she's dead. Dead as a dormouse. And Langford isn't anywhere around. Langford probably killed her and then skipped off the train. Don't you agree, Mr. Rakes? What makes you say that, Farrell? The window is open. Yes, the window is open. Come on, conductor. Give me a hand with Mrs. Winters. We've got to break the bad news to Diana sooner or later. It's quite right, Mr. Rakes. You're a nice old lady. Well, whoever did it used a nice long knife in her back. Maybe the ghost. Ghosts don't kill people. They just scare them. Come on, Mr. Rakes. You'd better carry her back. Why in the world would anyone want to kill mom? Rakes, did you? Did I? What, Diana? What do we do about Langford, conductor? We send out a warrant for the rest as soon as the train stops. He did it, but we'll find out. If I ever see him again, I'll punch his face in. Look, Bill Langford climbing down from the top of the car into the window. All right, all of you. Keep your hands raised while I get in this window. Now, it's no use, Langford. We know you killed Mrs. Winters. Keep them up, conductor. Keep them up. And you, Rakes, don't pull any funny business. Farrell, watch him. Sure, boss? Boss? Sure. I've worked for Bill Langford. I've worked for Bill for eight years, when I was a bum. You murderers, murderers. Stand still, all of you. Don't try to escape, right? I'm a strong guy. Do I have to prove it? Both of you have spent a long time in jail for this, Mr. Langford. No, I won't, conductor. Augustus Rakes might, but I won't. What are you talking about? You too, Diana. That wasn't John Jones in my compartment, as you both know. It was John Dwerihos, director of the East Anglian Line, traveling in Cognito. He's carrying 75,000 pounds on him tonight. What makes you so wise, Langford? Because I saw him slip the roll into my cigarette case. He walked into your compartment by accident, Rakes, to get away from me. You, as bookkeeper of the East Anglian Line, were the only one who knew he had taken the money. Very clever. Yes, so you held him up. And when you discovered he wasn't carrying the money on him, you knocked him out. I would have known Dwerihos if I'd seen him, Mr. Langford. In fact, anybody on the entire line would have known him. He disappeared before you collected tickets. He didn't need a ticket or a reservation. He owns this company. And you, Diana, you're Rakes' girl. That fast trick of yours didn't fool me for a minute. You threw the suitcase out of the window. Your mother saw Rakes carry Dwerihos into the smoking compartment. Rakes killed her because he couldn't take a chance. Rakes, did you? Of course I did. I wasn't going to let an old hat spoil my day. Oh, you double-crossing swine. Then Rakes hid John Jones or John Dwerihos in the smoker until he could get rid of him. So what? When I went into the smoking compartment looking for the old boy, you followed me, planted a fast one on my jaw, then carried Mrs. Winter's in, hoping to frame me for a murder. Finally, you dragged Dwerihos up on the top of the car, planning to get rid of him all along the way. You can't prove a word of it, Langford. You can't prove a word of it. Dwerihos' body slipped over the edge, caught in a prong, scared the living daylight out of Lydia. Yes, that was the upside down face you saw at the window. How awful. It wasn't a ghost. No, it was no ghost. It's a good story, Langford, but you can't make it stick. Oh, can't I? When you hit me, you took my cigarette case with the 75,000 pounds in it. Look him over, Farrell. Don't put your hands on me. Shall I knock him out, boss? Don't put your hands on me. Yes, you're better. Here's the cigarette case, boss. Good work, Farrell. Yes, the 75,000 pounds is inside. But how did you ever know Rakes was guilty? When he hit me a while back, I played the possum, made him think I was knocked unconscious. And I followed him through the window of the train and saw him. I waited till he returned to spill the story. All very simple. Mr. Langford, one question, please. How did you happen to be on the train? The board of directors sent for me. I suspected Dwerihos was juggling their books and wanted me to investigate the line. Dwerihos did juggle the books. He stole 75,000 pounds, pocketed it and tried to disappear. As a matter of fact, he had steamship tickets, all set to go to America. And I thought he was a ghost. Well, he is now Lydia. His body is lying in a ditch a few miles back. And the train is stopping. Well, folks, here we are. Play broop. Play broop. To conclude my report, the train pulled to a stop at Clayborough Station. Augustus Rakes was arrested for first-degree murder. The 75,000 pounds in question was returned as per instructions. Diana Winters was taken into custody. She had been responsible for the entire plan. It was she who had engineered the entire plot, having access to Dwerihos' private documents as a secretary. This closes my report to the acting chairman of the East Anglian Railroad. Respectfully submitted by your agent, William Langford. From the time-worn pages of the past, we have brought to you the story the 415 Express. Bell Beaver told the bells.