 Hey survivors, another video, please like, comment and share, subscribe if you haven't subscribed yet. In this video I'm going to be talking about how the narcissist wants to be your fantasy. First I'm going to read a definition of what a fantasy is in psychology. Conscious fantasy. A fantasy is a situation imagined by an individual that expresses certain desires or aims on the part of its creator. Fantasies sometimes involve situations that are highly unlikely or they may be quite realistic. Fantasies can also be sexual in nature. There is also a difference between a fantasy and daydreaming. Daydreams are building castles in the air, they are repeating. You concoct a daydream which becomes your favourite and then you can call it up again. Most daydreams are self soothing and for sexual arousal. Fantasies are more to do with your future goals and dreams. They could be romantic, professional or even physical. A fantasy could be something like becoming an athlete or changing your appearance. Fantasies are crucial to our lives. They can help us to establish goals and provide us with motivation to strive for them. Okay so let's talk about it. You probably have fantasies of your own. There is nothing wrong with that and it is completely normal. Fantasies can even be beneficial for your psychological and emotional health. They can help you to avoid ruminating on past events or they can take your mind off something difficult that happened that day. Fantasizing can be a great tool to improve the quality of your life. You may have sexual fantasies about someone you know or something you would like to do. This is completely normal and again it is beneficial for your health and can improve the quality of your life. However if you are in a relationship and you are having sexual fantasies involving another person there is a problem. Your partner should be able to meet your sexual and emotional needs. Of course we know that narcissists are not very good at doing this as they are self-absorbed and only care about their own needs. So if you are in a relationship with a narcissist you can expect yourself to be having sexual fantasies with someone else. If you are in a relationship with an emotionally healthy partner and someone who you can trust I would recommend exploring your sexual fantasy with them as long as there isn't something that might cause harm or emotional distress. There is something very validating about expressing your sexual fantasy with someone who you can trust and the best part is they can make it a reality for you but enough about that. This video is about how the narcissist wants to be your fantasy. I recently did a video on the narcissist and their illusions and one might confuse the narcissist illusions with our fantasies. There is a clear difference between them. The narcissist likes to force illusions onto unwilling participants for their own needs. They force their illusions onto unwilling participants so that they can create their own fantasy. The narcissist needs someone to believe in their illusions so that it becomes real to them. The reason for this is because narcissists are not as creative or able at creating a fantasy like we might be. That's why they need unwilling participants to assist them in creating the fantasy. The narcissist will study your fantasies so that they can adjust themselves to whatever you desire, want or need. This is when it becomes an illusion because of course the narcissist cannot give you what you desire, want or need. In most cases they don't even have it. To create the illusion they have to make you believe that they have it. So their first step is to study your fantasies. Find out what it is that you desire, want or need. Once they have figured that out they will simply become it. Even if what they are displaying to you isn't even remotely close to what you are fantasizing over, they expect it to seem real to you simply because they believe it. In the narcissist illusions none of your desires, wants or needs are being fulfilled. They are just making you believe that they are. Sometimes they will display an illusion to you as though it is something that you desire, want or need and then they will withhold it from you. This gives them a sense of power and control and makes them believe that you are envious or jealous of them. If you step back and look at it for what it really is you will soon discover that it wasn't what you desired, wanted or needed anyway. The reason why they study your fantasy so deeply and try to imitate that is because they want to be your fantasy. They are envious over whatever you are fantasizing over, even if they don't know what it is. They will try to make you fantasize about something else, something less desirable which you can't help but think about. But this is all because they are envious of your fantasy. They are also jealous because they feel that your fantasy is taking you away from them. They want to be in control of you but they can't. If you are allowing this fantasy to control you, it also makes them feel worthless and insignificant as they can never compete with your fantasy. Which is why they create illusions. This will create illusions, fake worlds, alternate realities and interpretations and then force them onto you. You might create your own fantasies but you will not tell anyone about them. However, narcissists will force themselves into your fantasies and try to find out everything about them to sabotage or use them against you. Once the narcissists have forced themselves into your fantasies, they will then act as though you are the one creating the illusions. There is nothing wrong with sharing your fantasies with someone who you can trust, no matter how deep or dark they may be. If you can trust a person and it isn't causing them any harm or emotional distress, it's all good. So enjoy your fantasy survivors, enjoy them to yourselves or with people who you can trust. Have fun with them but don't tell the narcissist, they will only distort it and then throw it back at you or they will try to become it and then you are stuck in another illusion. Hope you enjoyed the video, please like, comment and share, don't forget to subscribe if you haven't subscribed yet, talk to you soon.