 to this performance of Snapshots 2.0. My name is Asif Majeed and alongside being the writer of this piece I'm a collective member with Washington DC's Convergence Theater. Convergence Theater is a collective that attempts to engage social issues through theater using a combination of multiple performance languages and community partnerships. I'm excited to be introducing this piece to you live streamed here on HowlRound in a tricky time for many. The conversations around racial equity and police brutality that have emerged in more public fashion in the U.S. in recent weeks have highlighted the long-standing racial fractures of our society. For Black and Indigenous folks in this country who suffer the bulk of this systemic racism and violence this public outcries long overdue. For other people of color our efforts at solidarity must be doubled, redoubled in fact, while acknowledging our unique position that is at times complicit in these oppressions through its proximity to whiteness. For the U.S.'s white majority these conversations have come at a time when the pandemic has rendered many individuals restless and ready to scream about something, anything. These dynamics are all complex but a reminder is in order for the work of justice is a marathon not a sprint. It necessitates all parts of society engaging simultaneously in different ways. It requires more than the extra version that is so lauded in the media and coverage of the protests. It demands that our conversations be at once public and intimate. Intimate conversation is the work of Snapshots 2.0. This piece asks questions of what it means to negotiate crises that are simultaneously interpersonal and structural. At the intersection of Islam, sexuality, race, and cultural appropriation Snapshots 2.0 puts you as an audience member into the position of watching how intimate conversation unfolds. These types of conversations are being had in different ways all across our nation at this exact moment and in the piece you're about to view that intimacy manifests between people who are figuring out the degree to which it is possible to care for themselves, their pasts, and their identities in conversation with others in their world. In other words, this piece stages the work of life. Snapshots 2.0 has a runtime of approximately 75 minutes. Please note that it also contains some explicit language and may not be appropriate for folks under age 13. Immediately following the performance we will display information about how to access our converging minds post-show discussion which prioritizes conversation about the issues discussed in the play. We hope you will join us. Thank you and enjoy the show. Hey, Salam alaikum mom. Yeah, I'm fine. Just have some crazy students you know. Some idiot kid wrote about eating cockroaches. Yeah, I'll talk with his parents. Yes mom, I know you think white people are stupid, but he's not white. No, I'm not arguing with you about this. He's my student. I know what race he is. Mom. Mom. Mom, I'm not arguing with you about this. I've got enough else to worry about. Yes, I know you didn't want me to become a teacher. Yes, I know you think I'm a glorified babysitter. Yes, I know you think I'm a failure. Do you think a person can be gay and Muslim? Hypothetically, of course. Okay, but what about those people who are attracted to the same sex? How do we explain that? What? No, no, I'm not gay. I'm married. This is not about me. One of my students asked. I'm just trying to figure out what to say. Yes mom, I know you did not want me to become a teacher. You've made your disappointment very clear. You're welcome. Right? Well, okay. Yeah, and enjoy your pink pong table. Goodbye, mom, and happy birthday. I can't believe how obsessed you are. And how long have you known me? Basically my whole life. And all this time I have been determined, stubborn, arrogant. What the fuck? I thought we were friends. Superhero, Wonder Woman, Moralesies, crayoning all over my drawings in kindergarten. Aprimarine and Razzmatazz. My two least favorite colors. Outside the lines, too. You're welcome. So, yeah, I guess we are best friends. Oh, rousing endorsement. I aim to please. It's just... What? It's so weird. You're the one who started my collection. I gave you one for my wedding. To be my maid of honor. Not for everyday life. So what? That's not how they're meant. I know. I know, you know. But they are so nice and comfortable. Oh, I've never. And the material's so soft. Just like Moose's peen. Oh, damn, girl. I do not talk about your husband that way. You're the one who said it. Still. You even joked about it. Even stiller. Besides, would I talk about, you know, Kamal being away and... Don't start. Exactly. I said I'm sorry. You do know why I really wear them, right? The saris? Yeah. I mean... I know. Because, you know, they're the only way that... I get it. Still weird. Why? Because you're Arab. So, you know how I normally sit against the wall? Actually, you know how I normally don't go? Uh-huh. Well, Moral dragged me along anyway. And normally, normally they do the partition after we get there. Always behind schedule, isn't it? Exactly. But today, I was just staring at it. It was already up and ready to go. Wait, wait. Sorry. Sorry. What are we talking about again? Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm not talking about my penis. That's a shame. It was like I actually saw it for the first time as a barrier dividing us. I mean, I get the whole gender thing, but really, why is it there? Because men like you can't keep it in their pants. You're the one who keeps bringing it up, not me. I think it's the Saudi's fault. The Saudi's? Yeah. I mean, they're all about the money and the power. Nothing real. Guardians are the two holy places in my ass. So, because you think that the Saudis are extremists and money gorbers, they want all Muslims to live segregated lives. That's a specious argument, Moos. Are you defending the Saudi? I'm just saying there's probably more to it than that. More to it than what? I mean, they cozy up to Western money. They literally interpret the Quran as if Allah hasn't given us any brains to think, and their country wouldn't even exist if it weren't for the British. Hashtag drawing lines on a map. Hashtags, eh? Our country wouldn't even exist if it weren't for the British. Hashtag imperialism. Colonialism. My humanitarian work wouldn't be needed if it weren't for the British. Hashtag imperialism. And then you wouldn't have met your wife if it weren't for the British. Hashtag post-imperial, bout to go, wow, wow. Bet that would have made you happier. Speaking of morale, what's her take on all of this? I can't talk to her about this. That's why I talk to you. And besides, every conversation we have is about how best she can borrow from Indian culture. I mean, nothing makes her happier than the goddamn British Commonwealth. Maybe she should have married a British guy. Yeah, maybe she should have married a British guy. People change moves, you know, like your students with their acne and raging hormones. Some are beanstalks and all of it. Exactly. But she's just so exploited of these days. I mean, ever since 45 came into office, I mean, even before then. Oh, why don't you just say his name? Who? Trump. He who must not be named? Oh, that's Voldemort. Hashtag Slytherins for life. To name a thing is to normalize it. To not name a thing is to reify it. She's just not the same, you know? How's that going, by the way? Moose? Yeah, we got into it. Again? Something dumb as fuck. Where? Where else? Of all the places. I know. It's a musk, you know. I know. Jesus Christ. You two couldn't find it anywhere else to fight it out. It just sets us off. So stop going. Oh, fuck's sakes, Max. So what happened this time? We got on the plane straight after. Come on, Mara. Not yet. How long have you known me? Basically my whole life. So you know I... I know. Then? What else? He said I was being inflexible and a racist, and I said that he was being controlling and a fascist, and it just fucked on from there. I mean, so what if I want to use Indian motifs and have us visit London? Is that so wrong? You always want to visit London. Well, who doesn't love palace guards in their silly hats? Afternoon tea, those amazing accents. Moose. Moose. And me. That was a moose. And all those fine, brown, British men. With their nasty teeth. Oh, God. And their stinky breath. Shut up. And their smug, smug attitude. Okay, your husband is British Asian. He's different. Less Oreo and more... Chocolate cake. It's thighs, almonds. Decadent curry. Yes. I love me a good curry. Chicken Geoff Rezzi. Rogan Josh. It's Rogan Josh. Gulab Jamun. Gulab Jamun is a dessert, you fool. Whatever. It's got sauce. It's got stuff. It's a dessert. And it's a curry. It is not a curry. Is too. Is not. Is too. Is not. Is too. Which one of us is brown? Not fair. Do I claim to know Shakshukay or Matsube better than you? No. Then stay in your lane. I know curry. I know that it's a simplification of thousands of years of the subcontinent's culinary heritage. Flattened as things often are by the bricks. You know, if you go to India and ask for curry, people will laugh in your face because it doesn't mean anything. So don't start with that cultural appropriation bullshit with me. You know, just because you look white does not mean you have to act white. Oh, you know what the best kind of curry is. You're muckney. And you're muckney. Ew, gross. Go get some spinach and that shit. It's obviously stuff. The basketball player. Yes. Stuff. Curry. Now there's a fine looking curry. I am hanging up now. Maybe you two should get a divorce. What? So you can corrupt me further? I wouldn't be opposed to that. Yeah, because you are so impartial. That is my charm. Well, what? Being impartial? Helping you see the truth. Which is? That is possible to be both. You're joking. I'm serious. I've been begging a love for forgiveness ever since you left for Gaza. There's nothing to forgive. What are you? There's nothing to forgive about two men. What about the story of Prophet Lut? I ate two entire cities where we're pelted with stones because they practice their lust on men in preference to women. The Quran calls them a people transgressing beyond bounds. And a few ayats later it talks about those who indulged in sin and crime. So? So, it says sin and crime. No one can tell whether the punishment was primarily due to sin or crime. Semantics. Aren't you the great balancer? The root word of Mujmi is jerama, which can mean either to commit crime or sin. So the city's crimes, rather than its sins, could have been the real issue. There's nothing to forgive about two men experimenting, okay? You weren't experimenting. You were? I wish I hadn't. It is possible to be both. Allah created us in pairs and divided us into nations and tribes so that we'd know one another. And you think we're a pair? You and we're all sure, ain't you? Well, fuck off. Gladly. Pairs made up of a male and a female. Pairs made up of a male and a female. Zoj wa zoja. Why would that be in the Koran if it weren't gender specific? Maybe we've misinterpreted it. 1500 years of misinterpretation. Anything's possible, Moose. Talk about a specious argument. There's a lot of gray in the world, but some things are very clearly right and some things are very clearly wrong. And what we did was wrong. Look, I know you want to relive our time abroad. Don't you? Sure, London was great. Open me up to a homie way of being Muslim. Food wasn't half bad either. Curry. Stop distracting me. But it's the national dish, so smooth and creamy. It is not the national dish. Well, everyone says that it is Britain's best dish. Colonialism, colonialism, colonialism. What? Imperialism, imperialism, imperialism. Okay, that is not what I was telling you. Appropriation, appropriation, appropriation. Okay, I get it. Colonialism, imperialism, appropriation. Colonialism, imperialism, appropriation. Colonialism. I said, I get it. Apparently not. Okay, don't fucking start with me. Things have their place, Mara. London was then. This is now. Yeah, but surely Moose should be able to see it. Is there so much to want to spend time there? And why don't you ask him? I have asked him. That is why we thought. And he also thinks that I'm still appropriating Indian designs into my work. Right. I'm not, though. Okay. I'm not culturally appropriating. Whatever helps you sleep at night. I'm not culturally appropriating. Keep telling yourself that. I am not culturally appropriating. I am not culturally appropriating. I am not culturally appropriating. I am not culturally appropriating. What are you doing? Locking you. Thanks. I thought this was a white feminist rally. Only show up when it's convenient. Get defensive. Do some yoga. You know why I really do it, right? Hurry the designs, all of it. Yeah. I need. I know. Because that's. I get it. The only way that I. It was a long time ago. And it was an accident. Even superheroes make mistakes. You still haven't answered my question. It's not worth answering. Then why'd you call? It's the moss thing I told you. The partition. That's bullshit and you know it. All right then, smarty pants. If I called because of us and I'm not saying I did. Why didn't I call you last month? Or the month before you left. Three months ago. So then why now? Something happened. What happened? Something in the moss. What could have happened at the mosque? I don't know. You probably finally said something in your mind. What's today? The 24th. So they must have advertised the youth trip to London already. So. And. Tomorrow is your monthly check-in with morale, right? Well, Skype because she's traveling. You know, our relationship has always been a bit clinical. And you two went together, right? Would I go by myself? So she must have said something. That's it, isn't it? She said something about going to London. What is it? I'm not getting into this. Why not? Because I've said enough against her today. What? You've reached a daily quota. Watch it. What? But for some reason you're talking to me about her rather than her about her. Why is that? She said something. She said she's busy. Doing what? Skyping Nadia. What else? My Nadia. Aren't you gay? Aren't you? That's not an answer. Well, she's still my wife. I married her because she brings out the best in me. My unending wit. My unfailing charm. My self-righteousness. So you're living a lie. At least I'm open about it. You? So Nadia knows. Stop deflecting. I'm not gay. Right. And I am the Queen of England. I'm not gay. So you've said. I'm not gay. Right. And now you're a CD stuff on repeat. Who listens to CDs anymore? Old timers like me. You mean old farts like you? Who are you trying to convince? You said you felt something. I did not. So now you're denying it? Okay. And so what if I did? Well, it means something. I can't do this. What? Be honest. For sake of my faith. We've been over this. The two things are compatible. It's possible to be gay and be a good Muslim. Both involved being true to yourselves and submitting to your truth. No, no, no, it's not. It's one or the other. Okay. Then explain what you felt. Don't do this Kamal. Explain what you felt. I said drop it. Because if anyone's a good Muslim moves, it's you. You know, you may not go to the mosque regularly, but I know no one else who is as believing, as charitable, as practicing as you. That's what means it to be a good Muslim. To submit to Allah's commands unwaveringly. And what commands matter more than the feelings Allah has given us. Moose, are you there? Moose. You think it's going well now? I think he just needs to be a little bit more. He's running his own race. We used to be running the same race. I know. Yeah, but not sense. And it just has been sometimes too much. And sure. What am I supposed to do in this? You have to give a time. How long? It has been years. And I can't keep going. The healing isn't linear. That city is the only reminder that I have. Of course. I have to visit. That we have to visit that bridge. And Moose can't just go. He loves you. I have to keep telling him how important it is that like a pilgrimage every year on that day. And the return matters, Nadia. I know. Just does. Give him time. Nadia. He just needs more time. How much time? How much fucking more time does he need? Because it has been three years, six months, and 17 days has to happen. And I am sick and tired of trying to make him see it. I'm the one who lost. Not him. It was my father. Not his. It was my idea. Not his to go out of that fucking bridge and that fucking shitty-ass weather. And that is an idea that I have to live with for the rest of my miserable life. Yes, but we were both there. We both saw him sleep. We were both helpless. Yet I'm the only one who still seems to care. We have to hold on. I have to hold on. And I will not fucking let go no matter what Moose says. I had one father, Nadia. One. And I miss him like hell. But the only way that I can get through this is if I keep him alive. Otherwise, it'll just become too much. Is it becoming too much, Merle? Why would you say that? I told you to drop it, but you insisted why. I was being honest. To get into my pants? They are nice pants, I mean. You're not helping yourself. I'm serious. You, I mean it. I mean, I think you have an incredible spirit about you, okay? Oh, I bet you say that to all the ladies. Oh, yes. Gender fluidity. A step in the right direction. But be honest for once. I am. It's not a ploy. Well, really? Hashtag post-imperial biological wow wow. Come on. You think there's nothing else to this? No. I love you. Who's texting me? Did you hear what I said? I said I love you. It's Nadia. Hold on. What? Oh, my God. No. Just landed in LA, thanks for asking. Yeah, I'm meeting a new client today. You know how it is. Yeah. No rest indeed. Yeah, oh, we are all set. I am finishing up the final sketches right now. Yes, Dante has approved these changes. We've incorporated a couple of Indian designs. Just to spice things up. I see. No. No. Shema, no, it's not appropriation at all. Trust me, we have that under control. It's simply a few wrangoli patterns, some foostat motifs, that sort of thing, all very tasteful. I understand that you are a South Asian community organization. I come from an area background, so I am very aware of not offending anyone with this design. It's seemingly a matter of the... So you want me to remove the pattern? The patterns. All of it. You haven't even seen the new edits, and you're asking me to start again from scratch. I don't know that I can deliver by the final deadline then. But with this new project, it's going to be a lot of... Let me know. Yes, Mrs. Lopez. This is Mr. Ali from Burton Middle. How are you? I'm well, thanks. Do you have a minute? Great. I'm calling in reference to Eduardo's most recent assignment. Yes, yes, the one he wrote for my social stage class. Uh-huh. Yes, yes, the one about identity and a moment that's made him who he is today. Well, it seems he misunderstood the assignment, and I'm afraid it will affect his chances of passing the seventh grade. Uh-huh. He wrote about his love of eating cockroaches. Mm-hmm. I see. Right, right, right. I do, I do recall him telling me about your trip to China this summer. No, no, no, no, I can't say I've ever tried it. Yes, yes, I do know that they are a popular street food in certain provinces. Uh-huh. Sure, sure, I understand, but uh-huh. Yes. Oh, of course, Mrs. Lopez, but you have to understand that... Right, right. Oh, wow, I appreciate that. But here's the thing, when I assign assignments to students, I mean, no, no, no, no, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not threatening anything. I'm simply saying, listen, if he's fine eating them and you're fine with him eating cockroaches, that's fine. But it sounds like the trip was the moment to focus on in the essay and not his consumption of crispy critters. No, no, not, not fritters, critters with a C. You know, bugs, insects, cockroaches? Never mind. Okay, he needs to redo the assignment. I'll speak with him next period, but I wanted you to know before he comes home this evening. I don't want him to fail seventh grade because of this. I'm sure you understand. Uh-huh. Yes, that sounds good. Okay, thank you, you too. All right, have a good afternoon. Uh-huh. Okay. All right, bye-bye. Thank God I'm infertile. Moose, got a minute? Need to talk about morale. Come on, Moose. Seriously, this is urgent. On the one hand, it's going to be nice. They give you joy in being alive and seeing the world differently. And making someone happy. On the other hand, they are foul-mouthed creatures who enjoy eating cockroaches. And I teach them every day. My infertility must be a blessing. If it helps me realize that loving morale has been something physical and the love I feel for Kamalha, yallah, please forgive me. What is the test I face? Is it society that tells me one thing and you telling me another? That I can be both? Or is a choice to be made? What is the actual truth? And where do I find it? Moose, please. Skype me. ASAP. I was raised in India by my father. An Arab engineer working for Union Carbide at Bullpaw's god-awful pesticide plant. Revolutionary to be a single dad even in those days. We were inseparable. Spent weeknights trying to stay cool under the teak and babool trees in our backyard. Eating fresh chicken cobsa and chapati for dinner. On weekends we go to the Durga on Shah Island. That marvel at the designs on the ceiling as Baba helped me out for a closer look. Or we leave town for sets for a tiger reserve. And marvel at the animals. Buy mangoes from the uncle in the corner. Combining them with Baba's secret stash of za'atar pita. It tasted strange. So did home. Baba was home. And when I sent him to his moose doesn't get it. But I have to go back to see where things ended. I have to hold on. To remember what we had. I have to. Because everything around me is trying to stop me from being my father's daughter. Everything. It takes strength to hold on. But perhaps even more to let go. That was weird. Did you hear what I said? Nadia texted me but when I went to reply. Moose. Nothing went through. Moose just listen please. They didn't go through. Moose. Hang on. Maraul's calling. I'll call you back. Everything all right? Did you talk to Nadia? Oh. There's a lot of echo going on. Okay. So sorry. Are you going to talk to me? So you'll talk to Nadia but not me. Sorry. Help me help you. Okay. Bring me along. You always do this silent martyr thing. You know falling on your sword. Did you feed the cat cockroaches again? Did the cat feed you cockroaches? She knows how much you care about the cat I mean. Maybe she's just worried. You know? That's the psychic's job. Okay. You won't talk to me. That's fine. I get it. But you should talk to her. She's your best friend. You two will figure it out. You always do. Hi. This is Kamal from the ICRC. Red Crescent. I'm calling because... Great. I know your office heard from my colleague Latoya already. We're working on the shipment together. Well the problem is that we don't have stored space right now. Warehouses are at a premium in Gaza and rations have to be distributed as soon as they're delivered. Sure. I understand madam. I'm sorry what? Ma'am you can't stop the shipment. We need your help. The Israelis... So you're stopping the shipment because of bad press. And the Israeli press has been like this for decades. Lives are on the line. And what happened to the duty to protect the goodness of philanthropy, the humanitarian imperative? We've worked with your office because... Yes. I saw that headline. No. I don't believe the Palestinians are cockroaches. I believe they're human, like you and me. But you believe what's being written about them. I see. Takes one to no one I guess. You know that this is how the Hootches describe the Tootsies in Rwanda right? Hello? Hello? Moose, thank God. Nadia is everything alright? No, it's not. Are you okay? I was just talking to Maral. What happened? She's confused Moose. Living in the past. Wait, what? Living in the past. Tied up in nostalgia. As confused as a kid looking for a fucking... Where's Waldo? She's fucking some guy named Waldo? Oh, I'll kill that son of a... Moose! What? She is not sleeping with Waldo. What? Did this line is bad? She is not sleeping with a fictional hipster white dude! Right. So, what's the problem then? She's lost Moose. Utterly and completely lost. Well, if she's not humping hipsters, how back can it be? Moose. No points for alliteration? She's holding on too hard. The mistake at the bridge. The saris. The designs. The curries. Her dad. You all of it. It's just... Me? Weighing her down. So slow down. What about me? Catch up, man. She's holding on to something that isn't hers. She's not brown. This isn't her culture or her history. But she's using it as a crutch because it reminds her of her dad. What does that have to do with me? Ya Allah. Please bless all men with the ability to do their own emotional labor. Wait. Is this about Wunden? Then please give me the patience to wait for them to figure their shit out. And calling her a racist? I mean... Nods? Yes, that's part of it. But she needs to know that you're healing with her. Healing from what? It was an accident. She has no one left in this world, Moose! She has me in this world. What about Kamal? Talk to your wife, please. She's like the sister I never had. And she's... She's all that I've got. Okay. You just have to, okay? Promise me. Promise me it'll be okay. Promise me. I promise. What am I supposed to do? Talk to her. And say what? Honey, I think appropriating brownness won't absolve your guilt. I wouldn't start with that. Or maybe... Honey, I think you need to get over your dad's desk. Not that either. Or I think you've forgotten who you are. Don't be so direct. Oh, don't be so direct. This is coming from the guy who hates cul-de-sacs and merry-go-rounds, because they both end up nowhere. All I'm saying is that this situation requires a delicate touch. Someone who isn't so invested. Someone like me. Yeah, right. What's so crazy about that? No. I'm serious. No. Well, I can help her see how long it takes to get through something like this. You remember that scene in Star Wars? Where Rey is scratching another mark into the metal? That's Moral. Counting how long since her dad died. She knows how long it's taking. You can know something without actually knowing it. Or when was the last time you two talked? I mean, like, really talked. I don't know, like, a year or two maybe? That's a long time, Moose. People get comfortable with the pain. You lose touch. Happens all the time. Right. You know, I know where she's coming from, okay? I've been there. I was devastated when mom died. Buried myself in my work. Fucking stupid work. You still bury yourself in your work. Point is, you start holding on to the past, okay? It's hard to let go. All it takes is a little nudge to get things back on track. And you're the man to get things back on track. I am your man. That's not right. What do you mean? This isn't about Moral at all. You don't think I want to help her? Maybe. Maybe not. Then? There's always something with you, some kind of angle. Helping people isn't an angle, Moose. I mean, that's why I'm busting my ass out here. You're an aid worker because it makes you feel better, not because you actually can. Wow. Care isn't what drives you. No? You think that if you do this for me, I'll love you more. I will fall into your arms like a hopeless teenager. No, I wouldn't be opposed to that. But I've seen through your plan. My devious plan. And I'm not falling for it. Rats spoiled again. Are you mocking me? And I would have gotten away with the two if it weren't for you meddling kids. I hate you. I hate you. You're a stupid drug. Okay, I'm hanging up now. Moose, Moose, Moose, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I care about you. And I do love you. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want to be closer and this would be one way of getting closer to you. But that's not what this is about. All I just think is that I have a unique perspective on this situation and can be of some help. That's all. That's all you'll talk about. Yeah. No funny business? No funny business. Fine. Listen, Yichi, this is the third time we'll try to schedule this deposition. My assistant has called at least twice and each time has been given the same damn run around. That is the same load of bull she's already heard. No, I am not willing to do that. Oh, so they fled the jurisdiction and you don't know where they are. So you do know where they are. Well, Yichi, it looks like we have two options here. Either you get your clients into my office by 9 a.m. tomorrow or you subpoena them and arrest you for obstruction. You're damn right, I can. You've assisted suspected criminals fleeing prosecution just because they run a multimillion-dollar cockroach extermination company and you're their lawyer does not, like I was saying, does not mean that they're getting any special treatment. These people stand accused of increasing cockroach infestations and recklessly endangering people's lives. I don't care if they're used as medicine in parts of China or in the United States. In this country, they're a health hazard. Yichi, I've already begun drafting subpoena paperwork. As soon as I hang up, I'll be calling the precinct to verify your arrest warrant. Either your clients show up at my office tomorrow morning or the police show up at yours. Your choice. Could you live in a world of control? Not like Valwell or Huxley. I mean that plus violence at every level. Of what you think, what you believe, what you say, how you move, where you move, what you eat, what you wear, who you love, where you sleep, when you sleep, if you breathe, how you breathe, what you live in, if it still stands, where you make joy, where you cry, where you laugh, when you sit, where you shit, what your children joke about, the wartime games they play, the lies they learn in school, the disillusionment they face, the horror they witness, the horror they live, the horror they become. Could you live in that world? So how long has it been? A few months, I think. Heard there's been another siege. Same old story, always somebody trying to control somebody else. Tell me about it. Not much to tell. Usually it's the Israelis trying to control the Palestinians. But they've already got a button of control. Seriously. Don't they? A button. A ton of butt. That is disgusting. So soft and squishy. You were a child. Should I have said a button instead? A button of butt. They may have a lot of control, but they want total domination. Or maybe a button of butt. Complete an utter extermination of Palestine and Palestinians as an idea. Right, about all of the control. Okay, look, look, look, look. I live and talk about this all day long. Can we not? Sorry. It's fine. How about you? What's happened in your world? I'm alright, I guess. Moose and I have been at it a lot lately. About? London, racism, being tired. I see. Tired of what? Fighting, heroism. Life. Enough to do something about it? What? You know, like. Oh, no, no, Gamal. Why would you even? I was just asking. I'm depressed, not suicidal. Okay, that's good. That is good. That is great. I definitely was after my mom passed. Seriously? You didn't. Nope. Suicide. Yeah. I have to go sometime. Kamal. I thought it was my fault. Was it? It was. I'm sure it's not your fault. Hiking trip, 2017, in the Lake District, trying a difficult trail. Baba Nadia. My sister Shanaz, you've met her, right? At the wedding, yeah. Right. We all had the stamina. Mama, not so much. Heart attack, three miles in. Just like that. But how is that your fault? Hey, I suggested the route. She wanted an easier one. We argued and eventually she kept it up. Always was a mama's boy. Life's a little slips, I guess. I guess so. Thanks for sharing. How did you get over it? Distractions. Work. New ways of being. New ways of being? Something like that. But you never really get over it. Just through it. Did Nadia help? Of course. Ultimately had to be my own process, though. Why did you call me? I had a sense that you might want to talk. Moose mentioned something about... Am I Moose? What? No, no, no. I'm Pen Pals with one in Alaska. He's got excellent patience alone. Jokes, the classic Kamalian defense. Got me there. Oh, I didn't know you and Moose talked about me. You are an important part of his life. So, yeah. Did he ask you to talk to me? I offered. But he won't talk to me himself. You know how he is when problems arise. Right, but why won't he talk to me? We're weighing every single possibility equally. You know how he is. Analysis paralysis. He's a balancer, that man. Yeah, he drives me nuts. You could divorce him, you know? Excuse me? I'm just saying. Paul, he's an incredible man. I hate how long it takes him to think things through, but I also love it. I mean, God forbid I were married to someone as stubborn as me. I love him. And I love boxy furniture, but it doesn't mean I want to be married to it. But why would you even suggest something like that? What? Marrying boxy furniture. I mean, it's so clean. I'm just laying out all the options. Well, it's not an option. It could be. It's shit. But if you actually just take a second to consider it. I mean, yeah, we're struggling to communicate, but what couple isn't. Sure. What? Is that all? Seriously? I mean, I'll be ridiculous. Hey, it's your life, whatever. Come on. It could be for the best. So this is why you called. What? No, no, no, no. Okay. I think you two should talk. You never did like me. Not really. Well, thanks for trying to break up my marriage. Well, that was never my intent. Yeah, right. Okay, fine. Believe. Don't believe me. Believe me, whatever. Stay together, split up. I do not care. It's not like he's going to be alone anyway. What? He's experimenting. What the fuck does that mean? With different ways of being in the world. So he's becoming a hippie? I think you two should talk. Come all. Just talk. Okay. Moral, hear me out. Don't start. Moral. I am serious. Is this about me calling you a racist? Well done, Sir Locke. You know, it's such a charged word these days, and nobody wants to admit to it, and nobody thinks this is no way from that. So you do think I'm a racist? Listen, I'm saying, I'm just worried. Man, fucking fantastic. So what? You're worried about me being a racist? I'm worried about you in general. You've changed a lot. Remember the first time we met? In undergrad? One of those awful gen ed classes. Science of water. You were wearing your father's keffia. So proud of that symbol of Arab resistance. And we were doing a lab. Some nonsense about how different paper towels absorb water. And Kamal spilled a bunch. And a microscopic amount got on your keffia. I remember. And you took a whole pitcher's worth and dumped it over his head. Yeah. And then you made the speech about how important that keffia was to you. And that he should never soil it again. And you made him, you made him kiss it and apologize to it. And then Doc Marsden kicked me out of class. I know. I've told that story a dozen times. What's your point? Have I ever told you what happened after you left? Gleaned up the water. Yes. But have I ever told you what I said? No. Kamal was soaked, head to toe. And I said, do you think she likes diamond rings? He goes, hilarious. She'll just dump water on me at your wedding. And I said, I want to learn from her what it means to be proud of who I am. I think you've lost out of that. I think you've attached yourself to something else. I think I'm losing you. I think I'm losing you. I'm right here. No, you're not. You're somewhere else. You've been somewhere else for a long time now, maybe three or four years. I don't know. What happened to the old morale? The one who knew who she was. I'm still right here. I married you for your conviction and self-belief. Something I never had. You're the most strong-willed person I know, but it's been tainted. You're still strong, yes, but in all the wrong ways. Where the fuck do you get up saying something like that? Do you know what your father told me when I asked for his blessing? He gave it, but said, I had to watch out for you. That your stubbornness would be your downfall, and here we are. You have no right to use him against me. He is my father. He's gone, and you holding on to your childhood memories is dangerously blinding you to reality. Then what about you, unwavering moral compass? Always waffling and wavering and without a backbone, never able to make up your own goddamn mind, but you've made up your mind up enough to do what? Sleep around, start drinking, doing drugs. What are you talking about? Kamal called. He says that you've been experimenting with different ways of being in the world, different ways of being. Well, what the fuck does that mean? Look, I don't know what he told you, but you have to understand what- That is all he told me, and he said that we should talk. So what are you up to? This is so typical. Excuse me? You reject the slightest chance to look at yourself. This is about you, not me. I already told you before. I don't feel like talking. You have to. Maral, this is important. Well, the only thing I'm interested in talking about is what you are up to. Stop deflecting. Are you having an affair? What? Well, answer me. Are you having an affair? No. But you're up to something. Like you aren't. Oh, no, no. Who's deflecting now? Maral, we really need to talk about this, okay? We can't just leave- What we need to talk about is what you are up to. What are you experimenting with? Maral's going to get it. What? Nothing. Tell me what you are up to, or I am hanging up right now. Tabbit dramatic, don't you think? I am serious. Maral. Three. Come on. Two. Don't. Stop. Zero. Men. Experimenting with men. She knows. Who knows what? Maral knows. About the Easter Bunny? About me, you idiot. You know, I told her I was experimenting. Actually, she knew I was experimenting. She just didn't know with what. Can you explain to me how that happened? Not really. You were supposed to make her turn her life around, not make her think I'm gay. You are gay. I'm not. Okay, you know what? Take your closet and deny it somewhere else, okay? I don't have time for it right now. Oh, sorry to interrupt your Friday fallatio. What are we going to do? It's every man for himself, okay? I've got to go get ahead of this. It'll talk to an idea. Save my marriage. So you can keep destroying mine? I said I was sorry. Yeah, you didn't, actually. Sorry. Real convincing. What do you want me to say? I screwed up, sure, but would I take it back? Not a chance. Moose, we're finally in the path to getting everything out in the open. However this shakes out, we'll finally be free. What a disaster. Tell me about it. You know. Know what? No, you said it like you know. I was saying that you should tell me about the disaster. What's going on? Everything's falling apart. My wall is a mess. A mess? I don't know how I didn't see it coming all this time. See what? Nads, what's going on? Do you think she might hurt herself? You know how it was for me. I can't be into an agent. But no, she won't. How do you know? She's, she's too stubborn. Superhero, Wonder Woman, they're all azines. Bows to no man. But maybe I should have seen it coming. I don't think so. Nah. Good. Well, it sounds like you're blaming yourself again. That's not fair. I mean, hasn't she always relied on you like this? Made you her sidekick? It's not that simple. She's in a really tough spot right now and... Oh my god. Do you actually want this friendship? I don't know. Have you talked to her recently? You didn't seem surprised when I asked if she might hurt herself. When would I have? That's not an answer. When would I have found time, Nadia? It's an invasion. You and I barely find time to talk. So you have talked to her? I didn't, I just... I'm just not surprised. So now you're a psychic. She seemed off recently. Since when? You've been in Gaza for three months. Yeah, Moose told me. That she's been off. He told me in confidence. In confidence? What are you two lovers? Do you think he might be gay? What makes you ask that? Just some stuff and they're all set. Do you think he might be? How would I know? Again, not an answer. But really, how would I know? You two are best friends. Yeah, but we don't talk about this kind of stuff. So he hasn't told you anything? I can't say that he has. Strange. You know how he is, you know? Woffish and Skitling, you know, just... You could never get to the bottom of things with him. Nuts. Yeah? I have something to tell you. Okay. What is it? I'm... Oh, hold on. I'm getting another call right now. What? Just a second. Jeez, geez. Did you talk to her? Yeah. And? Let's just say it did not go as I had hoped. What does that mean? She doubled down. Jesus. Didn't want to talk about it. Well, there's a surprise. And somehow managed to make the conversation about me. What? Yeah, really impressive, actually. What did she say? She accused me of having an affair. You're joking. Nope. That's ridiculous. I know. You're the most boring vanilla person I know. Thanks. In a good way, of course. Of course. So what did she say? Huh? When she accused you of having an affair. I deflected. Which way? Well, I told her I was experimenting with men, so you tell me. And by experimenting, you mean... Sexually. You know that's wrong. Is it? You don't think sex between men is a sin? I plead the fifth. God, you make a terrible lawyer. Okay, and so what if I have feelings for another man? Everybody has feelings. Islam doesn't say don't have feelings. It just says whether or not you laughed on them. Sure, but... I have feelings about bashing Trumpasaurus' head. Does that mean I'm going to go find a cozy sniper perch? Well, are you? No. Too bad. I know a good one. Moose. So are you telling me that the gay people should stay closeted? I'm saying that living in this world means dealing with rules. Even if you could have sex willy-nilly, so what? What value is that if it means destroying something you work so hard to build? Merle is probably thinking all sorts of things right now. Her husband is sleeping around, but without their men. What am I supposed to do? Honestly, I don't know. She's forgotten her heritage and replaced it with nostalgia. You've forgotten your religion and replaced it with temptation. It's just becoming too much. Promised you'd fix this. Well, I've been trying to wrap my head around what you said. Okay. And I can't quite figure it all out. What's there to figure out? I don't know, but I have some questions and I need them answered. Maybe that'll help me figure out whatever there is to figure out. So let's start there. Do you love me? Yes. Are you Muslim? Yes. Are you gay? Moose? I don't know. That's not an answer. It's because I don't have an answer. Or you're hiding the fact that you might- I'm not hiding anything. I don't have an answer. Okay. Let's try it like this. Are you something other than straight? How would I know? I don't know. Sarah, buzzfeed quiz for this? Maybe. Or fortune cookie. If Yusha says you're more attracted to men than women. Thanks. I doubt it. I think you just know. So you're saying? This experimenting. Are there feelings attached to it or is it just physical? There are some feelings. Some feelings? Well, I haven't actually experimented with men. What? I've experimented with man. Like one small step for men kind of man or? One man. Come on. Do you enjoy it? Yeah, I did. Maybe it's not what we think it is. I mean, he's my best friend and we've gone through lots of stuff together. Like brothers. So maybe this friendship, maybe this was just like a deep and intense friendship of sharing something with someone close to you like toothbrushes or underwear, you know, something that you wouldn't normally share with your best friend. But so that's why it evokes all these feelings. Amuse, stop. It's just weird. Amuse, stop, stop right now. You're not doing yourself any favors. Made us all in certain ways. And with certain hurdles that we must overcome. Maybe this is one of your hurdles. I don't think being gay is a hurdle. I mean, figuring out what it means to be a Muslim man who has feelings for another man. Because that's all we've established so far. Right. Because the Islam I believe in doesn't control emotions. Except Ramadan. And Ihram. But even then it controls how those emotions turn into actions. So what are you saying? I'm saying we all make mistakes. I don't think this was a mistake. Just a sec. We all make mistakes. Allah forgives those mistakes. And mistakes are actions, not emotions and feelings. I don't think there's anything that says you can't have the feelings. But there is something that says not to engage in the acts. So where does that leave us? You're not the only one who's made a mistake. I don't think this was a mistake. I've been blaming you. What? For what I... For what happened to Baba. Because you were there with me and I was too far away to do anything. But you were closer to Him. So I had to deflect. But my blame's somewhere else. I'm sorry. It's all making sense now. Yeah. And those designs are those... Be who you are. Not who the world wants you to be. We're all inspirational quotes. Some pains are too important to let go of. Oh, Nadia's calling me. Take it. No, I'll call her back. No, no, no. Take it. I need a break. I didn't think you'd reach out. No. I blew up at you. Again, I don't deserve your forgiveness. Probably not. But most of us don't deserve the things that we get. Well, this is the beginning of... A beautiful friendship. No, Moral. Our friendship has never been beautiful. It's been... Complicated. Why do you keep it? I don't know. Maybe I'm too overworked to make new friends. Maybe I'm too drained to put in the effort. Maybe I'm too old to care. I see. But maybe I'm none of those things. And maybe this still matters. In a weird, twisted, uncertain, can't live with you, can't live without you kind of way. And if it does, maybe this could be the beginning of a beautiful reconciliation. I'm sorry. For what? For taking you for granted. I've always just assumed you'd be there. And when I unloaded on you before... It's okay. No, it's not. You didn't deserve that. You didn't deserve to lose your father like that. Most of us don't deserve the things we get. I apologize to Moose, too. For blaming him? You knew? How long have I known you? You're a better friend than I thought. Maybe. Not maybe. Definitely. Why no? What triggered it? Well, can't I... Just... No, you can't. You're a stubborn as they come. He did say something first. It concerns you. He said he was experimenting with man. With men, you mean? No, I mean man. One man. Your husband. You've got a lot of fucking nerve. Excuse me? I don't know why I expected anything else. Nadia, what? I wanted to give you a chance. Clear the air. Be best friends again. Nadia, we are. I thought your apology was genuine. Nadia, what? But this is how you go about it instead, by making up some bullshit story to do. What exactly? Tear up my marriage so that you have someone to bitch to when you take a sledgehammer to yours. Nadia. Sure does love company. You know, I rely on you. I care about you. I have no one else with Kamal gone all the time. But this, this is beyond belief. Nadia, you are my sister. I am trying to watch out for you. Oh, that's right. Watch out for me by stabbing me in the back. Might as well. They say the best time to strike is when the enemy is riding highest. Is that how you see us? As enemies? No, Moral. That's not how I see us. But it seems like that's how you see us. Maybe that's how it's always been. What does that mean? Kamal was saying, I've been your sidekick for too long. Claiming myself when I should have been holding you accountable. I said he was wrong, backs you up. Said that maybe things are just too much for you right now and that I should give you the benefit of the doubt. But you know what? He was right. I've been holding your coattails for years. And this is what I get in return. Speak of the devil. Oh, no. So I've gone from friend to enemy to the devil in a span of what, five minutes? It's a figure of speech. And I'm using it to describe my husband. Who's calling me right now? Oh, not everything is about you. Nadia, I know you've got a lot in your mind right now, but there's something I need to tell you. What is it? I don't know how to say this. Just say it. It's not that simple. Can't be that bad. You'd be surprised. You'd be surprised. I'm gay. I've known for a couple of years now. I couldn't talk to you because I didn't have a way to have this conversation. I didn't want to hurt you, but I thought that if I didn't... I know. What? I've known for a long time, Kamal. Wasn't hard to figure out, really. Trips got longer. Conversations about starting a family got shorter. Talking to moose took priority. I married you because of your sensitivity, Kamal. Even underneath all the jokes and deflections, you have never been in good life. I'm sorry. Whatever. Just go. Just like that. I don't have the energy to fight right now, but I do have one question. Okay. Why today? What? Why tell me today? Because today I realized I'm in love with somebody else. Today was the first time I said it aloud. And to name a thing is to normalize it. Are you happy? Yeah. I am. Fucking plastic. No idea. I'm sorry. I did get back to work. They mistranslate the Quran, you know. The Arabic stays the same, but when they get it into English, it gets all kinds of mangled. Even the opening line, Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim. In the name of Allah, the most beneficent, the most merciful. Sometimes they say the most gracious, the merciful, or the entirely merciful, the especially merciful. Or the most compassionate, the ever merciful. But those are all simplification. Because Rahman and Rahim are more than beneficence and mercy. And the al before each means that those qualities are practiced at higher than their highest possible level. They're not adjectives as much as they are titles. States of being. Descriptions of the indescribable. Essences that transcend the essence we feebly ascribe to the essential. Because al-Rahman means the one who gives ease followed by easiness. And al-Rahim means the one who gives hardship followed by easiness. Every single. Time, beneficence and mercy don't even come close. Things fall apart. But ease will come, it always does. Hi, this is Kamal from the ICRC. How are you? I'm fine, I'm still shema. Yes, Mrs. Lopez. I've received the water was rewritten assignment. You see, what are you trying to pull? So you've reconsidered. Yes, I appreciate you calling. What do you think of the designs? To be honest, I'm not really sure what to make of it. They were supposed to be here an hour ago. But you're still not going to deliver the shipment. Then what's there to talk about? What to hear that Dante and I collaborated on them. It's passable, I suppose, but what happened to the trip? Are you still representing them? I'm not sure I follow. I'm afraid they'll be for someone else to decide. I see. Okay, that's what you want. Well, I'll leave back to the States next week for another rotation. You'll have to speak with LaToya. No, I won't be doing any more work for a while. No, Mrs. Lopez, he won't fail the seventh grade. Police will find them. All right, take care then. Bye-bye. I'm taking a sabbatical. Thank you. Okay, counselor, and have a good rest of your day. There's just been a lot going on. Some personal matters to attend to. Of course, Mrs. Lopez. Sure. You can ask me. Do I believe in God? No, it's all right. Go ahead. Am I Muslim? Maybe. It depends on who you ask, I suppose. And in what light I'm seeing? No, I can't say. I really know. Maybe I never did. Thank you for joining us this afternoon for Snapshots 2.0, by Asif Majid and directed by Nikhu Mandui. We now would like to introduce our cast. Playing the role of Mustafa is Exandri Oji. And in the role of Nadia returning to Convergence Theater is Janani Ramashandran. Making his Convergence Theater debut in the role of Kamal Arjun Dawaan. And finally, Convergence Theater Company member Miral is Fabiola De Silva. My name is Elena Velasco and I'm the producing artistic director of Convergence Theater. We hope that you will share with your friends and family this opportunity to see Snapshots 2.0 on our Facebook page because we have a recording of it on there. So if you missed it earlier or your friends and family who missed it, please come back and visit us on our Facebook page and on our website. As well, we hope that you will join us for our post-show discussion. I do want to mention that Convergence Theater is a theater for social justice collective that is focused on community engagement, believing that we can engage in discourse and dialogue with one another to make mindful action and impact in our community. Snapshots 2.0 was aired live so that all could be able to access the arts, particularly at this time when public spaces are closed. So we are so happy that we are able to offer this to the community as a whole. We do ask if you are able to find a way to consider making a donation to Convergence Theater so we can continue to provide programming to everybody. You can visit us on our website at convergencetheater.org. Following this, you will see information to join us at Converging Rhymes, our post-show engagement with local leaders so we can talk about the intersections of many different issues that we have examined and played this afternoon. Thanks so much and see you soon.