 Kira, Kira Soltanovic joins us. She's in Los Angeles. I'm in New Jersey today. I'm my sister's. Oh, how's your sister? I wouldn't know. She's my sister. I don't know what she's really like. No. Guys don't share and get personal and do like, you know, sleepover kind of sleeping bags on the floor and share secrets and light a candle and then pass the candle. Whoever has it has to tell a deep dark secret and then you bring each other's hair and do nail polish and then talk about, you know, how many fingers you've had inside of you that day. No? Well, of course we do. That's not a thing? Yeah, of course. I don't know. I don't have a sister, I'm guessing. I just do that with strangers, don't you? That's true. How else are you going to get to know people on the bus? That's the way to get to know people. You know, we're all in this together, guys. If I were a girl, if I were a girl and we were friends, what would we talk about? Well, are you a girl who has kids? I may, I can be any girl you want, Kira. Let's say, yeah, I'm a girl who is an empty nester. Oh, so you have kids. They're just older, but you remember what cracked nipples are like. So we can talk about that. I would show you mine and say, does this look infected? Is this normal? Are they supposed to be like lacerated down from top to bottom like this? And then you would take a close inspection and offer up some sort of healthy salve, S-A-L-V-E, and we'd talk about farm to table and artisanal cheese, girl stuff. Now, you told me that with your first baby, your breasts made artisanal cheese, that if you waited two days and didn't breastfeed, you could squeeze out artisanal Kira Seltanovich cheese. Yeah, which, you know, sounds awesome. But remember, some of those come with like a thick skin. So, you know, I think there's like a brie and a couple of Gouda's that have that kind of thick waxy layer. And again, it's all fun and games until that waxy part comes out. So, you know, you're the life of the party. Everyone wants you out there, you know, breasts until that happens. I'm trying to get a handle on you because you're doing a million different things. You had to push back this interview because you were in traffic driving around Los Angeles. You've got two kids, a husband, and I keep apologizing to you. I keep saying, I'm sorry, we'll do this around your schedule. And in the back of my mind, I'm thinking, how does she do this? How does she do this? You sound so happy. And I'm forgetting something. You're running on oxytocin, right? You're happy. I'm actually, I don't have that kind of budget. I'm running on oxy-clean, which is just a zip medication that I sniff. Because the oxytocin, you need a prescription and a person has to, you know, talk to you about it. Obamacare, thanks a lot, right? But oxy-clean is just over-the-counter zip medication with a smaller kick, but worth it. If you rub that stuff on your gums, wow, say goodbye to the rest of the afternoon. Woo! Hold on to your hats and glasses, right? Well, loose change everywhere because you're flying around. The thing that I need to understand is, you know, I don't have kids anymore. I don't have babies. Yeah. And I just look at you, what I believe is objectively, and I'm thinking, she gets no sleep. She gets some help from her husband, but she's still responsible for two babies, and she has to be funny. Where does she find the time? Where does she find the time? And as I talk to you, I realize, oh, that's right. That makes you happy that you produce some kind of chemical in your basement. I think it's called crystal meth. Right. Crystal is the name of my daughter, yes. The truth is, here's the absolute truth. Here's the truth. I think like most of life, and this could even be comedy, and this can even be most people's careers, right? The reason I had to push back a little bit was because I did a game show table read this morning in Beverly Hills, and I was talking to one of the execs, and I said, you're really great at this. You know, this is you. You're such a great executive because you rarely see those. You know, most of them are just douchebags whose dad was, you know, George Burns's lawyer, you know, and that's how he got into the business. But this guy is like really great, you know? And he's like, 20% is awesome. And the rest is 80% of like the BS, the paperwork, and the legal meetings, and HR because somebody's angered the secretary by accident. And so that's kind of like stand up too, if you think about it, right? Like when you're on the road and you have a layover in Denver, and it's delayed for three hours because of weather, and you finally get to your gig and scratch your armpit, Alabama, and then you're on stage, then you're like, finally, this is when I'm having a good time. All the other stuff, all the other like checking into your red roof in, and all the other stuff is just like, the stuff that makes me personally very sweaty, like I'm always sweaty, always, there's no time where I don't have a little bit of pee in my pants and a lot of sweat. That is my life. It's constant, just a tiniest bit of urine, not a lot, not like a disgusting, you know, kicker off this United flight urine, just the tiniest like, where you kind of sniff and you go, okay, and then you move on, right? So no one linger, and then sweat. I'm constantly sweaty with a little bit of pee in my pants. And that's just, and if you're okay, like that's your baseline, then everything else after that is, you know, normal. That's where I'm working from. That's where I start my day at, even if I showered, by the way, even if I was lucky enough to take a shower by myself, with no one else in the room with me, you know, knocking on the shower door, hurry up, which is everyone else in my house is constantly hurry up, even if it's by myself and I'm showering and getting all the spots that you need to get, you know, it doesn't matter. The minute I get out, someone is screaming, something has happened, a fire needs to be put out, and the sweat comes back and I pee a little. It doesn't matter. No matter how many times I scrub myself clean. It's, it's what I have to live with. And so that's just my reality. So I work from there and I thank you for the compliment, because it is a very nice compliment that you gave me, like somehow I make it work. But, you know, you know, if you can make it work with just a little bit of something in your pants, you'd be, you know, you learn how to do it. Just the reality. I wish I could sugar, I wish I could lie. I can't lie. So, yeah, the way I justify the urine in my pants is I grew up with a lot of dogs and they want to demonstrate their territorial imperative by pinging and certain, you know, they mark. And whenever I see people, I figure I have really nice underwear that they really want to steal. So like a dog, I mark my underwear. Right, right. So let me tell you my, I don't wear underwear. So what do I do? You know, anything you want, you can do anything, go anywhere you want. Well, I'm just saying like, you know, it's, it's now I got to go from that place and move ahead. Do you know, I have to, yeah. Do you have this protection? Do you have this nagging worry that this is the best year or two years of your life that you have the babies that you're running around? This is the happiest you're ever going to be. If this is the happiest, I will hang up with you and just drive to Mexico and be gone. If this is it, I will be so, I don't, I mean, look, I know that's probably people like, oh, that's a bad mother. No, if this is the happiest, then I probably should leave now and give them a chance at maybe a good mother, you know, let my husband remarry and find someone who's into regular artisanal cheese, not, you know, from her nipples, just over the counter stuff. I hope this isn't it. But then again, you know, you talk to people in their 70s, and they talk about, you know, these times with, oh, such love in their hearts of like, oh, those sleepless nights, I would do anything for those again. No, you wouldn't. There's no way people lie. People are lying all the time. And that's one of the injustices of the world is that we are okay to lie all the time because it's in our advertising. There's a hot chick in the bikini eating a Carl's Jr. Are you kidding? She won't even date a guy named Carl. I'm not going to eat a burger from Carl's Jr. Ross is washing your Volvo. She doesn't care that you drive a Volvo. You know what I mean? We're all living in this lie, this lie of a bikini Carl's Jr. bubble bath. It's all a lie. And I can't, I can't be part of it. I have to tell the truth. You have how many kids right now? Two. How old are they? Six and almost two years old. The last time you were on the show, you taped a stand-up special while you were pregnant. So it's- I sure did. Has it been two years? Can you believe that? Bananas, right? It's been two years. And do you hear a tapping sound? I don't. Would you like me to? I hear a little clicking sound all of a sudden. Well, as a Russian, I definitely could be tapped. So we might want to just be careful what we say from here on out. Wait, it stopped. But there definitely was a clicking sound. Yep, that was probably Dimitri checking in. Or we had a conference call with the Swahili embassy. Yeah, who have been calling me non-stop. And I'm not even kidding about that. I signed up for something recently. I forget what it was. But I made the mistake of putting my real phone number in. And now I just constantly get phone calls from like everybody. You know, with an Indian accent saying they are the IRS. And it's just driving me crazy. So please, anyone listening, do not put your real number in ever, ever, ever. And Kira's real number is 555. 818. 555, 555. All right, so you're. Yeah, it was the biggest mistake. So you let's let's review because you haven't been on the show for a while. Last week's talk, we were promoting a Mother's Day show. I believe you were doing it in Irvine and taping a show while pregnant. Close. It was in Orange County. It was a little further down south in Irvine, but yes. And the name of that special is you did this to me. You did this to me. Did you do a kickstart with that? I did. I did. I raised some of the money through a crowdfunding. And I let people who donated a lot of money do really cool stuff. One of them was for $25,000, you could cut the cord. I remember this. And you remember that and for $20,000, you could help us name our baby. And we did get someone with that. Oh, wow. So nobody cuts your cord. No, my husband did it. Oh, you didn't wait. I figured you would wait because I think the longer you wait to cut an umbilical cord, the more people would pay, right? That's true. That's true. Yeah. But, you know, they really frown upon that when you leave the hospital. You know, like they really, like they're kind of like, ah, leave the messy trail. Hey, let me ask you a question about this. I want to find, first of all, what's your baby's name? Igor. Seriously. Well, the Russian mafia did give me money for my special. That is 100% true. That is 100% true. The Russian mafia gave you money? They gave me $20,000. Yeah. I really do owe them money back. So if people could please go watch it now. I wish I was kidding and people don't believe me when I say this because they're like, ah, ha, ha, ha, very funny. No, no, I really do owe them a lot of money. So if you could please go to Amazon after listening to the rest of this, then go please watch it on Amazon. And what is the name of it? You did this to me. And you're, you had a boy? Girl. That you named, who you named? Igor? Igor. Well, like I said, the Russians, they, they're the ones that contributed. All right. In all seriousness, is it really Igor? No, it's not. It's Claire. Okay. You got me. Okay. And she's two. And the other one I believe is a boy. Yes. And it's so you have a boy and a girl. The ages are two and. Six. That's a good age range for a boy. It's great. For a baby sister. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Let me get back to the umbilical cord. I'm being serious. How long? Okay. How long could you go attached by the umbilical cord? I think that they like the umbilical cord to stop pulsating. After the baby is born to stop pulsating before you cut it. Because they're still receiving blood from the placenta. So they like to cut that. But if you decided. About maybe two, three minutes. If this were, if this were a reality show that I was pitching to that executive who you really like and I won his name after the show because I want to pitch this. Yeah. How long? We'll call it mama's boy. Where it's a reality show where a boy is never separated from the umbilical cord. Can that be done in all seriousness? How long could you go? Okay. So in all seriousness, this is a little bit of now people to now because there's too much biology and medical stuff happening. That's on you. But in all seriousness, after the baby is born, right? Your uterus should start contracting and getting smaller and smaller and smaller. Because you have to deliver the placenta. Where's my uterus? It's up on you when I've seen you in person. I feel like it's that hump on your back. But everyone I guess has a different place for it. But in most women, after you deliver the placenta, right? Because it's attached to the umbilical cord. Are you assuming the placenta staying inside of the woman's body? I'm trying to remember. I do remember the placenta. Yeah, you have to deliver that as well. So you can't, you cannot let go of the placenta. Well, your uterus has to shrink back down. Your uterus has to now basically contract some more into its original shape. Well, hang on for one second. I'm being serious here. Yeah. So, okay, so you're giving birth and the first thing that comes out of you is the placenta. I hope not. I hope it's the baby. I really do. But if your baby looks like a placenta, which could happen, they'll eventually, you know, probably grow out of that. Okay, so the baby comes out, that I remember. Yes. Okay. And I remember the umbilical cord and then they bring the placenta. Do they cut the umbilical cord before removing the placenta? Or does the placenta come out and then they cut the umbilical cord? The placenta is usually delivered right after the baby. It's really that they call it, it's another delivery, because you have to like push it out. If you have contractions and it, it's a miracle. No. A disgusting, bloody miracle. But yeah, so they push, you push the placenta out and that's the part that's attached to your body. But now it's not anymore. Do you remember the Apollo program, the race to the moon? I mean, yes, I wasn't around then, but I know what it is. Yeah. Okay, so the placenta would be like the service module and the baby would be the command module that is attached to the service. And then before reentry, you get rid of the service module and then go into the Earth's atmosphere. Kind of, sure. Okay. Yeah, sure. Sure. And the placenta is kind of the passageway between the service module. It's the connecting wires between the placenta and the command module. Yes. Okay. And also a great name for a young black female rapper. Just throwing it out there if anyone's brainstorming right now. All right, back to my question. So the placenta comes out and it's still attached to the umbilical cord, right? Right. But it's not attached to you? No, you deliver it. It detaches from you and it's bye-bye. And how does it stick to you when it's in you? Are there- Double-stick tape or like that, you know, like that tacky tape that doesn't leave a mark on the wall, that kind of stuff. So you got to go up there? Who like, who makes sure it doesn't- It attaches to the uterus. Yeah, it's attached to the uterus. It's pretty amazing. Okay, so- So the uterus is like a balloon, right? The baby is like the air, so it fills up the balloon. Once you let the air out, which is the sound that I make now when I go upstairs. And then the uterus goes back like a balloon would when it's, you know, deflated from the air. It never looks the same as it did when you took it out of the package, but it's deflated now. But you have been on stage with your uterus making uterus animals, like balloon animals. And I find it appropriate, but people say it's, I don't know, that you shouldn't be doing it. Well, because comics look down on prop comics. But you know what? F you, I have to make a career. I have a mortgage. I have a mortgage. I don't care what your judgment is. Okay, so, okay, so the placenta comes out. The umbilical cord is still attached to it. Right? Right. The baby is still getting nutrients from the placenta, even though you're no longer servicing the placenta. Right. But then slowly it will start to die off like a Baywatch Babes career. Where nobody cares about it anymore. It's getting old and shriveled. And okay, so it's done. If you don't cut the umbilical cord, you just say, you know, if let's say we do this, we say, you know what? We've had a couple of kids. Let's have one just to see what happens. Sure. And we say, hey, we're going to see what happens. Let's not cut the umbilical cord. Does it eventually fall off? Well, it will turn into basically just like a huge kind of a goiter type of situation where it just starts to rot and deteriorate. It's gross. Okay. I don't think that's a reality show with more than one episode and it might actually only go to the first commercial break. Well, I hardly get canceled. Harding says they would sponsor this with their new placenta. Well, hey, who am I to please go where the money is? And then we dip the placenta in some kind of nutrient. Then it would keep it right like a miracle grow type of situation. Yeah, I see what you're saying now. Has anybody ever go ahead? I mean, I ate my placenta. Yes, I really did. I really did. I know. They're delicious. Well, but what if that's the show also? You just slowly just snack on your placenta. And then when you're done snacking on it, then you cut the cord and the kid. Yay, go to college. Or it doesn't have to be a reality show. It could be a game show where we serve Chef Ramsay and maybe, you know, Anthony Bourdain, three, you know, Emeril, we feed them celebrity placentas and they have to guess which celebrity. Oh my gosh, that's genius. Well, I don't, you know, let's not, you know, on the surface, but we have to put it through the development pages to see if it'll work. Well, but you should still register that. You should still. I'm already registered when it comes. Yeah. I'm already registered. That's the sex offender. No, that's a patent pending on that idea. That is so genius. And then you could like, because Tori Spelling, I think, is pregnant again with her 12th kid. And so she'd be up for that. That'd be a great one. They could taste it like, oh, it's bitter. It's a bitter placenta. Now, I noticed, by the way, this is the truth, both my kids, we took pictures of the placenta and I made the nurse both times hold up the placenta like it was a fish. Like it just like, like she caught something. And yeah, I'm being serious. And the first nurse was laughing hysterically. The second one just wanted no part of me. But let me ask you about this. I saw things during childbirth that when I was a young boy looking at Playboy, and then you would tell me that, you know, in 10 years, I will be looking at the same thing and it won't be the same thing. You would have convinced me that I would never want to be near that again. And yet it's, there's something in human nature where you see something and it's clinical and then, you know, a couple of days later, you're ready to do it, you know, get back in there again. Sure. I'm being serious. So that's the biologist. I'm with you 100%. I am, oh my gosh, I mean, how many times have I had Russian food? And Russian food can be really delicious and great. But then you see how like it looks like it's already been chewed some of the time. And it's so many different colors and textures. And you're like, why would I ever eat this again? And then next thing you know, you're at your grandma's house the next day and you're eating it again. And it's like, it's, you see how it's made and it's disgusting and the soup. Russian soup, what we're known for borscht the most looks like murder. I mean, it's red. It's a bowl of red. It's looks like a bowl of blood. And you're like, why would I ever, and then there I am lapping it up? I get it. I get it. Well, you don't want to see what it's, you know, before and after and potential is, but then it's so good. Makes you feel good. It's home. It's your childhood, you know, it's the first time you snapped one on off her. Whatever you call it. So while you're giving birth, are you thinking never again? And why would you think about the Holocaust while you're giving birth? You know, while you're giving birth, you think you're the only person on the planet that is experiencing the amount of pain that you are experiencing. Meanwhile, it happens a trillion times a day. But in that moment, you're like, nobody knows. No, I got it bad. Like I, because I had the second kid I did with zero drugs, nothing. I just popped her out through the lobby. Did your wife have them through the sunroof or the lobby? We did United Airlines. Three early guys came in and just dragged the baby out kicking. Drag the baby out. Oh my God. I'm the baby's crying. Oh, that is fat of all the stuff on the Internet. And there's a lot of bad stuff on the Internet. That really, there's some sort of visceral reaction I got to that. All right. I want to get back to childbirth, but go ahead because I had a visceral reaction and you're not going to like it. What is it? Well, let me hear yours first because yours is probably sane and not borderline personality. You mean the United Incident recently? What was your visceral reaction? That, that, of course, we don't know what led up to this. We're just getting the information that it was overbooked. They started volunteering people because no one was volunteering and they dragged this guy out. That's all we're getting unless you were on the flight or whatever you, you know, happened to know. Either way, I want that to happen. To the guy that takes his socks and shoes off next to me on a United flight. I am more than happy to have that guy dragged off the plane because now I have to stare at his dead toenails for six hours to JFK. That I think is okay, but someone who was forced off the plane, whether he's a doctor or not, he just wants to get home. Whatever. Well, he wants to go to his next destination. That the dragging of someone that supposedly was pretty innocent, it just makes me feel like our society is so, it's just a constant mirror held up like we are screwed. We are screwed. We are screwed. It's constantly like, oh, guess what? He's another reason we are screwed. And then here's another reason we are screwed as a society. Like, and I'm not just saying Americans. I'm saying earth. You know, it's just jacked up. But that's my first reaction. Why, what did you think? He deserved it. Nobody deserves anything. Okay. But we have an unwritten social compact now when it comes to airlines. It's a lot like the donkey show in Tijuana. And I'm being serious. You and I once went, I don't know if you remember, you were opening for me at the San Diego Improv. And I said to you, you were single at the time. And I said to you, hey, you're very attractive. Let's go to Tijuana. It's right across the border. I want to take you. I want to show you Tijuana like you've never seen it before. Do you remember this? Was there ever a San Diego Improv? Just go along with me. So I take you to the. Yes, of course. I remember it. Of course. I have a dream journal just about that incident. And I take you to the donkey show. Okay. Yeah. We go to the donkey show and the donkey got sick during the show. And they stopped the show. The veterinarian said this, we can't go on. And I wanted my money back because I didn't see the love making the beautiful, you know, embrace of. Right. And the man said to me, when you come to a donkey show, all bets are off. And I said, I'm not betting on the donkey show. That's for the cock fight after the donkey show. I wanted to see a woman and a donkey. And he said, the donkey got sick. Read the small print. That's, you don't get your money back. That's the donkey show. And that's pretty much flying United Airlines. You went into the donkey show. And whatever happens, happens. Keep your mouth shut. It's no matter what, it's an indignity. Just do what you're told. And so I kind of felt, yes. I know a normal human being looks at that video and says, oh my God, this is horrible. We live in a corporate fascist state. But I'm thinking if you're a doctor and you got to see your patients and you're running around like that on an airplane, maybe you shouldn't be seeing patients. Maybe you're not so mentally stable in the emergency. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. What is a doctor supposed to wear on a flight going to Kentucky? I mean, they're going to Kentucky. There are no rules in Kentucky. I'm surprised they didn't have overalls on without an undershirt. I mean, come on. I can understand we're flying to Paris, France. Okay. You know, I'll even wear underwear for that flight. But Kentucky, we can't expect them to wear anything, except for like a gun holster and a Nazi swastika. What are you? I don't understand these rules. I don't agree with you at all. He did not look like a doctor. If they had known if he had dressed like a doctor, then they would have treated him with reskin. That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. No, they would not have. He was dressed ship to shore. Okay, well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. I can't ever criticize anyone on what they're wearing. Because like I said, as a mom of two kids, I leave the house as if I have landed somewhere and the airline lost my luggage. I always look half disheveled. Like I would look better, but they lost my clothes. So I have to wear this jet ski pack and flip flops. I always look like a hot mess. So that's not nice at all. And I think there's no way you're joking. And by the way, that donkey, they usually put zebra stripes on it and call it a zebra. So your story doesn't hold water at all. I just, I don't know if it's united. And there's always someone in the news. It's always united Delta. I just feel like these cabins are not just pressurized. They are like, they're not just pressurized for our, you know, breathing. It's pressurized with like this stress of whatever everyone is holding onto it. Now we're like feeling it in to this plastic tube and we're all sitting in it for however long it takes to get wherever. And it's, I think it's creating crazy people. I really do. These flight attendants are all lunatics. I don't think it's their fault. I think they are breathing farts all day long and that cannot be good for you. I mean, think about it. I'm not a doctor obviously as per David Feldman because I'm wearing yoga pants right now and you know, I can't be a doctor. But I do think there's something to be said. They're flying all day long smelling people's secretions. And I just know there's something medical in there that could be driving them crazy. I agree with you. It's methane poisoning. I think so. Is there, well, maybe we can patent something where you attach something to every passenger's methane emitter. Yeah. That kind of goes up into the upper bin and into the atmosphere. What if that's not a bad idea? Well, you know, you sit down. Maybe each, I'm just throwing this out there. Maybe every seat on an airline is fitted with this eight inch methane inhaler. Okay. And you, when you sit down, you gently sit down and this methane inhaler, it's about eight inches. You would probably make it ribbed and... I see where you're going with this. What? You got me. You got me. I was all on, I've been like drawing out schematics while you're talking. Well, draw that, and then you sit in your chair and there's this eight inch methane. And then you have to get up to get something to drink and then you have to sit back down and then you got to get up to get some more snacks and you sit back down. Is that a joke, David Feldman? No, I'm just trying. I've been taking you seriously this whole time. I'm just saying that, and then everybody, I know a lot of people would sit very quietly. And just... Yes, they would. And then, but now you can't even smoke on airplanes. So... Yeah, but that would calm a lot of people down. The methane inhaler, the eight inch rock wind. Sure. Methane inhaler. The bumpy flights would probably put some people to sleep. The air would be clean. You bring on the turbulence. You say more, please. More turbulence. This is a captain speaking buckle in. We have a bumpy... I feel like we made a lot of headway here. Yes, we did. It's like we solved some world problems. We did. Before we wrap it up, this is the happiest time of your life. It really is. It is, okay. You're going to look back. What happens as you get older and the kids start going away is you playact the idea of empty nest, but you can't imagine it. Right. But you say, oh, this must be what it's like for other people to have an empty nest. But that's never going to happen to me. That's impossible because my relationship with my kids is special. And then one day you're... They're gone. And you go and everybody my age who's gone through this, they all say the same thing. They say, what the hell was that? Like the thing with the kids? They say, what? I have this friend Christopher who dropped his youngest daughter off at college and then he was done, you know? He says, that's it. And they turned to his wife and said, what the hell was that? All those kids 25 years of raising kids, we just dropped the last one off at college. What the hell was that? And you immediately... You feel cheated. It's a bait and switch because in America, we're a nation baked into our people is leaving the homeland. You left your homeland, your parents said goodbye to Russia. My great grandparents, all four of them said goodbye to Eastern Europe. They never look back. That's who America is. We don't... And so then the kids come here and they look at their parents and they say, I got to get out of here. I got to leave. And they leave and they don't come back because that's what Americans do. We're lonely people. So we have these kids. Now it feels terrible. Your kids are hardwired to immigrate to... You're in California. They're going to fall in love with Chicago or New York because we're a nation of immigrants. You just made me so sad. But I'm telling you... I'm going to have to go find my methane comforter. Did I make you sad? No, you're speaking the truth. It makes sense. I get it. I mean, here's the thing. I was right. I was right. I didn't want my kids going away to college. I said, there's no reason for them to go away to college. Let them stay home and go to college here. And they said, well, you won't let go. You won't let go. That's right. I'm not going to let go. Why should I let go? Yeah. Yeah. So they can go off to some college and drink and not study and worry about sex and their clothing when they can stay home. And I can still do my parenting. I think kids should leave the house at 32. I'm serious. And I know you're laughing. I mean, I think that we're all going to be living... Our kids are all going to live to be 150. What is 32 years of parenting? Is that going to kill you to let me parent you for 32 years instead of 18? They came up with the idea of sending kids off to college when they were 18 because they didn't live that long. But kids are living much longer now. I should be able to parent my kids until they're 32, 35 or 40. Moses wandered in the desert for 40 years. The Jews didn't find... It's Passover week. The Jews wandered in the desert for 40 years partly to avoid the tolls. But mostly you don't come into your own. I just did a joke for my act there, Kira. I got nothing. I don't mind. I don't mind. Here's the thing. I think that 18 is too young in all seriousness. I think it is way too young. But that's all we have budgeted for. And to be honest with you, it's more like 15 and a half. So fingers crossed. Fingers crossed we have like a doogie howzer situation on our hands and he's off to Harvard Medical School at 16. And then he's there problem. Speaking of, hold on one second. I have my six-year-old. Yeah. What would you like? Almost done. Almost done. Mommy's career is very important. Okay. By the way, my son is often Germany drinking six packs of Canadian. He's doogie hooser. Hozer. Doogie, I made a bad joke. Doogie ho... Doogie ho... I don't know. Let's plug some things. Hozer. Hozer. Hozer. I screwed that joke up. Howzer. Howzer. Howzer. I don't know. That's no good. Let's plug some gigs. Where are you going to be? When is it coming out? It will be out Friday morning at 3 a.m. Our podcast comes out every Tuesday and Friday at 3 a.m. And I understand you have a new podcast. I do. I do. It's called Karen and Kira Can Read. And I don't know if you're into this kind of stuff. But it's Karen Runtowski and myself giving fellow comedians readings. Oh, because Karen's all into the ghost stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And we have today, Jackie Cation is our guest. And it's a good one. It's a really good one. So have a listen to find us on iTunes or wherever you listen to your podcast. Karen and Kira can read. And of course, my show that you have kindly been a guest on. This is my name. The Kira Sultanovic Show. I talk to, again, fellow comics. I love comedians. I just love them. I do, too. We talk about our kids and how they clock block our careers. Yes, I talk about you, Mr. And I'm going to be doing the goddamn comedy jam Tuesday, April 25th in Hollywood, California, at the Roxy. Wow. So that's what I'm plugging right now. Good for you. Go enjoy your son. Thank you so much. I can give him food. You're so funny. Thank you. Thank you, Mr. David Feldman. I appreciate you. I appreciate you, too. You're brilliant. Thank you. Okay. Talk to you soon. Bye.