 Your Coca-Cola bottler presents Claudia Claudia based on the original stories by Rose Franken brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself Have a Coke and now Claudia I hate to wake up, but I have to darling. I'm in here shaving. You're what? Shaving I've got an early appointment in Connecticut this morning I know it and I wanted that breakfast started before you woke up even the best laid plans of mice and men Hush up. Don't talk so loud or you'll wake yourself up. Hey, what'd you say about a mouse? Is our kitchen mouse in the bathroom with you? No, no, I'm all alone. Go back to sleep I'll get my breakfast at the station. You'll do nothing of the sort I'm not the kind of wife who lets her husband eat out. What do you think? I'll take the will for the deed I have to catch the eighth three to redberry and I can't afford to miss you won't miss it I'll be dressed in no time darling. Please stay in bed. Believe me. It'll be easier all the way around The principle of the thing though. Oh, where'd I put my mules? Hmm? This country wasn't built by women who stayed in bed while their husbands got up and went off to hue the soil This country wasn't built by women period. I'm not going out to hue the soil Anyway, you don't hue soil. I'm just catching the train to Connecticut Well, you're gonna catch it with a good breakfast in your stomach. You're in my way move over say You're not going to take a bath. I took my bath last night. Just let me wash my teeth a minute I still say it would be faster if you stayed in bed. Look, don't you want to have breakfast with me? Sure I do But I also want to get shaved Lather's getting dry. It's a nice lather by the way Kissing you is like kissing a lemon rang pie made with lilac. That's the soap. It's not lilac Or is it? It's lilac. Not too strong. Don't worry darling. Nobody me would notice All right. I'm out all finished. Yep for keeps. Yep Too good to be true. All I have to do is comb my hair I thought you have the mirror to shave in one second go on be a good boy move over This apartment seems to be getting smaller in the morning I suppose you'd like it if I put the coffee on in a kimono. Frankly, I'd prefer it in the percolator Goop Also be glad I don't have to scramble into a girdle and hold up the bathroom putting on lipstick and rouge Haven't I told you how glad I am about that? No. Well, I'll tell you now Come here that glad David am I really a good wife? Well, you're the best I've had to date your coffee's pretty good. What do you mean pretty? What's more a bride's coffee is usually undrinkable David how long is a bride a bride till she gets some sense I say you're a bride until things begin to go wrong. Then you'll be a bride until you're an old lady That's very sweet. Optimistic tune. I run along and fix breakfast quick quick quick All right. All right. All right. All right. Hey, leave the door open while you shave so we can talk to each other I don't like to talk to each other while I shave. Then you just listen. I like company while I do things Hey, Claudia I'm cutting myself to ribbons. What's happened to this razor? Listen, I know you didn't shave with it, but did you use it to open something with? Oh What come on out with it? Say no more. Claudia. There is one thing in violet to a man and that's his razor Never use my razor again again for anything for cleaning windows or anything else David You are not talking to me like a bride. I'm talking to you man to man. It's an unwritten law A wife is not to tapper with her husband's razor. How much does a razor cost? It's not the cost Did you put it before it's the principle of the thing Suppose I didn't have another blade, but you have though, haven't you? David answer have you? Yes, I Have one that I hid Then I think you're very inconsiderate to make such a big fuss over nothing I'm inconsiderate just because I happen happen mind you to have an extra blade. I'm in the wrong Oh, you're the limit. Then why'd you marry me if I'm the limit? I guess I Like people are the limit. It's good David we almost had our first fight. Do you know it? Oh, we came mighty close to it Is uh breakfast on the way coffee's on David you really want two minute eggs. They're so wishy-washy. I like them wishy-washy You can drink them. They go down quicker. Look darling. I'm in a hurry. Let's skip the eggs this morning You will not you can't go to Connecticut without eggs nice eggs like I'm cooking Are you putting your tie on yet? No Tell me where you are. What's it to you? Nothing to me but everything to the eggs Look I I've timed you for a week now I put them in after you've got your tie on and they're just right when you come to the table Eggs are cooked with a clock not by a man's tie Anyway, I'm nowhere near my tie. I'm only up to my socks my you're slow At the moment I have One brown sock And one blue sock Best dressed men are wearing them the same color this season. Oh, you must have taken them from the wrong pile Are there two piles? Yes because some of your socks have holes in them So I make two bundles even so darling with socks you roll them up in pairs that match Not just any two unrelated socks that come in the hand Don't be silly they're rolled up that way because they don't match Eureka What's happened now? I found another blue sock. That was clever of you Hmm as a hole in the toe naturally you took it from the wrong bundle sweet heart darling angel I could joyfully ring your neck David. I think you really mean that Oh, don't let's fight over little things or big ones either. Yes, let's don't I'll count to 10 One two three four five six seven eight nine ten I would still like to ring your neck. Well ring it That was nice I like you to ring my neck That's all the time I have to Ring next this morning I'll wear the hole. Oh, you'll feel uncomfortable all day. I know Let me find you another time. I'm catching the eight three Toss me my tie and a hustle with a hustle with that breakfast. It's ready. Oh stop joking. I'm really in a hurry I'm not joking. It's ready. I always put everything out the night before even the table set I'm surprised you don't make me eat my breakfast tonight before So, you know what give us more time in the morning to have breakfast behind this I think it would be better just to let things go along in their old humdrum way Look darling, you're underfoot like a puppy now scat scat scat is for cats I wonder what's for dog. I never thought of it remind me to figure it out tonight. Now come along to breakfast Doesn't the coffee smell good? Yeah, it smells pretty strong Oh David, what it's boiled away. Well, never mind darling. It's all right But I do mind you can't go off without coffee. I'll add water I don't like coffee with water added. You'll never know it But I do know it. I just have my eggs and cereal. No cereal. It's prunes this morning prunes I did not get married to eat prunes. Mama told me to give them to you once a week. They have iron or something in them That is the first nasty thing your mother has ever done to me. I just wait till I see her just wait Then what will you eat the eggs will be enough here? They're hot They just came off the stove. What do you expect? Hey Hold on These eggs aren't soft boiled. They're hard as rocks. Oh David, they passed the two minutes stage. That's putting it mildly They're practically ready for college. Okay, let me cook you some more. Lonnie take a minute. I'm in two minutes I have to go. I have to go on. But you can't go on an empty stomach. You would be surprised. Goodbye David come back. You haven't kissed me. I haven't time. But David Promise me you'll get breakfast at the station. That's what I wanted to do in the first place Claudia what is the matter with you? Nothing mama. Don't tell me nothing. I don't like the way you've been acting all afternoon Shopping makes me a little tired again. Since when? Come on out with it. What's bothering you? Nothing What did you and David quarrel about this morning? Mama, how'd you know we had a quarrel? Whose fault was it? Your fault. My fault. There is one thing I will never do cause any trouble between you and David Oh, what are you talking about? He adores you. He thinks you're just about perfect Except for prunes. Oh The prunes are only the finishing touch though. It was really his socks that started it socks He should have taught me to darn socks better mama. Darning gets me done. I've absolutely no talent for it How do you know? Have you tried it? No, I haven't gotten around to it yet. What do you expect? Have you got a darning egg and darning needles in the house? I've got regular eggs and regular needles and that's good enough for any sock Mama look don't get off the subject Look at what that pet shop. There's a monkey in the window. Mama quick. Come on. Stop pulling at my elbow I am not interested in monkeys What I am interested in is buying some darning cotton to patch up your marriage. Well, wait a minute. Just look at him Can't you? Isn't she fascinating? I fail to see anything fascinating about an ugly little monkey. He is though. Watch him swing I do not like monkeys. They're dirty and they're homely. Course they're homely. That's what's so cute about them I'm going in the shop a minute. You're going to do nothing of the kind. There is no law. I guess just looking around There ought to be Claudia come back. You go buy some darning cotton. I'll meet you later. You're not fit to be trusted in the pet shop alone Wait for me. I'll go in with you There are those puppies. Oh, couldn't you just eat them? No, I could not come along out, Claudia. The place smells terrible Oh, all pet shops smell terrible. Well, what can I do for you ladies? A nice little puppy What kind of puppies are those? Well, those are Very fine puppies. They're Well, as you can see wonderful puppies Their mother was a nice puppy too. Oh, they're adorable, but I can't seem to place the breed Well, like I told you miss they're just puppies and they're going to grow up to be just dogs You know some of the best dogs there is is uh Well, it's just dogs My husband wouldn't like a small dog But I am interested in the monkey in the window. Oh, that's a nice monkey. That is do they like good pets depends if you like monkeys Some people like monkeys I just sold one to the old a day the picture actress She likes monkeys. My daughter isn't the picture actress besides I heard that monkeys bite. No, this here monkey only bites men He likes ladies all right, but it's funny how we just don't like men All david would need would be to come home after the prunes and be bitten by a monkey in his own house Now come on. Let's go Hey mama, wait a minute Uh, do you think there's any chance that those puppies might grow up into big dogs? Well, lady, that's anybody's opinion But I'd say they'd grow up small Looking at them you sort of get the idea that a cocker spaniel is about their biggest ingredient Then I won't even get friendly with them. Of course one of these might No, no, no, I guess not Lady you wouldn't want a really big dog now. Would you sure you got one here? No, thank heaven Not here. I mean but out on my place in Long Island. I've got a great dog What kind of a great dog lady there isn't any use describing this dog I'm speaking about he's got to be seen to be appreciated. Why isn't he here? Well, no, you sort of too large to keep in the shop But I could bring him in we wouldn't dream of traveling I would would you bring him in Why sure I would no trouble at all. It's only across the river You two ladies come back tomorrow and I guarantee you'll fall in love Oh, please do if you're sure you don't mind Claudia. Are you utterly mad? What on earth would you do with a great big dog and a tiny little apartment? Patch up our marriage. Try some donning cotton instead. Oh when we have as exciting David and I need a pet of some kind something alive and and and living to bring us together In due time and God willing you'll have a baby. That's alive and living Can't you wait until then? Oh, we have to wait too long, but we can have a dog tomorrow mama He's just across the river All story material used in this broadcast of claudio was under the supervision of rose franken and william brown meloni When you have young folks in the family, you just can't tell when they'll be trooping home with their pals But you sure can tell that they'll be heading straight for the refrigerator to get out the frosty bottles of coca-cola Now that there's more coke available keep your icebox stocked up Every day monday through friday claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is joe king saying or if war and remember Whoever you are whatever you do wherever you may be When you think of refreshment think of coca-cola Or ice cold coca-cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes