 We invite you to enjoy life, life with Luigi, a new comedy show created by Cy Howard and starring that celebrated actor Mr. J Carol Nash with Alan Reed as Faswale When Luigi Basko left Italy to start his new life in America, he promised his mother that he would write and tell her about his adventure So now let's read Luigi's letter as he writes to Mama Basko in Italy Dear Mamma Mia, you know how in the old country some places don't have electricity? Well here in America it's different, everything is run by electricity They've got electric clock, electric fan, electric heater, electric blanket They even have got electric chair But this must be very expensive because I never see it and nobody's out Another great thing is the television Television is a wonderful new invention for showing all the moving pictures It's a funny thing about American people, while they enjoy themselves they like to eat They go to baseball again, they must eat the peanuts They go to the movies, they must eat the popcorn And they go see television, they must drink a beer Mama Mia, if they ever stop making the peanuts the popcorn is in a beer America's gonna have no place to go but a Turkish bath But Mama Mia, today is a bad day for me Because this morning when I open up the store under the door I find a letter First I think maybe inside is a cash because on the outside it's a say register Then I open up and inside is a say violation of a fire department Also there's a lot of big words I don't understand So I think I go to my night school or class and ask them I teach you Mrs. Baldwin All right class, all right, I'll call the roll please Mr. Basko? Mama Mia Mr. Howard? I'm here Mr. Olson? I'm here Mr. Schultz? What else? Mr. Schultz, please in the future when I call the roll just say present Now we'll begin with our history lesson Who made that famous speech beginning four score and seven years ago? Mr. Schultz? Present Present No, no Present Lincoln? Huh? It's right, yes? Yes You see I'm right, I'm always correct All right To tell you the truth was a lucky guess I'm a spolving I'm a spolving Yes Mr. Basko? Please a spolving I'm in a terrible trouble with the government And I need advice Well class I was going to devote this hour to discussing good citizenship So we might as well be practical and learn a lesson from Luigi's problem Thank you Mr. Spolving Well this morning the fire department was in my store Hey, golly, your store was on fire, Luigi? Luigi, I bet now you got a lot of hot stuff to sell Will the class please come to attention? Mr. Basko, what were you trying to say? I'm worried, because today I received this letter from the fire department No, give me it Luigi, let me see that Red deal You know I won't get a notice from the health department about my delicatessen Now you all eat there, the food is so good, the place is so clean Well what happened to Schultz? They condemned the salami Luigi my fellow pooper, you are in terrible trouble Please, please Mr. Spolving I don't like to make trouble with the government I like to be good American Maybe you tell me what to do Well let me see that letter Luigi Basko, 21 North Hall St. You are hereby cited for violation of Fire Regulation 14 Civil Code 72 Statute 562J And failure to comply with the necessary regulations within two days May impose upon you severe penalties and punishments as set forth in the penal code Now class, can anyone explain to Mr. Basko what this means? Sure, I'll cut us Please, please Mr. Spolving, I don't want to go to jail What I should do? Mr. Basko, I suggest you take this up with your Alderman, Oswell T. Johnson Yeah, that's a good idea Alderman Johnson, he helps everybody in the neighborhood Oh thank you Mr. Spolving, you always are helping me out And someday I'm going to do a big thing for you Yeah, instead of bringing you up, someday he's going to bring you a watermelon Excuse me Mr. Alderman Johnson, my name is... Stop, don't tell me I know every man in my district You're at Mr. Garibaldi I'm a Luigi Basko Basko, that's right, married, got eight kids Please, I'm not the married What happened to the eight kids? Maybe you better ask Mr. Garibaldi I don't ask anybody, everybody asks me, I take care of everybody I'm the Dutch uncle of this neighborhood Then please, Uncle Adachi I'm going to get a problem, is it worry me, Andrew? Oh, you've come to the right man, your problem is my problem I never turned on a voter in my district You did vote for me last year, didn't you? No Now I'm going to get out the side to how that happened I think I was pushed Mr. Johnson, the reason I'm a no-vote is I'm not the citizen Oh, that's different, but when you do become a citizen, how do you intend to vote? I'm going to look up at the records of all the candidates And I'm a voter for the best man This time I'm sure he pushed me Please don't miss the old man, Mr. Johnson Miss Spaulding, she's ascending me here Oh, Miss Spaulding, wonderful girl Glad to help you out, what's your trouble? Well, you see, I'm going to see Violationer from Fire Department And I know I can understand Old stuff to me, Basko, I'll phone the commissioner J.G. is an old buddy of mine Have your problem ironed out in a minute J.G. will help you out Hello, want to speak to J.G.? Just tell him it's old J Basko, it's in the bag In the bag? He doesn't remember Tell him, Oswald Johnson Don't worry, it's in the bag In the bag Yeah Alderman Oswald Johnson All so duff All so duff Hello, J.G. Ah, he's not in I'm back in the bag again Well, who's next in charge? All right, let me speak to Lieutenant McEever Busy, huh? Any of the firemen around? Oh Playing pinocchio Tell you what Let me talk to the kid who shines the pole Now, listen here This is Alderman Johnson I'm speaking for one of my constituents Luigi Constituent I mean Basko He received a notice of fire violation Huh? Oh, hello, J.G. What did I tell you? The minute I mention my name, he's on the phone I'll sew it up now All right, Mr. Alderman Please, just take me out of the bag before you sew it up J.G., what's the idea of sending one of my constituents to notice a violation? This is not a threat, but if I don't get action in the next election, you'll be out What? It's violation 562J Basko Okay, goodbye Basko How much time did you get to comply? 48 hours Well, you better do something You only got 24 now Luigi, my friend Hello, Luigi, hello, hello Hello, Baskoale That's your mother, my little pumpkin head You look like you were dumped Oh, Baskoale, I'm in a terrible trouble I got a paper from a fire department I take to Mr. Baldwin and she's sending me to Alderman and he's the maker of the work Oh, sure, sure, go to everybody except you, Fred and Baskoale and what's to happen, and nothing Always you run around like a crazy little mouse looking for a piece of cheese when all the time I must sit here with my bigger trap That's all right, Baskoale Nobody's got a bigger trap than you That's the funny thing, and when I say it it's a commodity difference Give me your paper Now you're going to get advice from somebody who's to know what he's to talk about Very bad Bad, bad Luigi What's up, Baskoale? What's it to say here? I'm going to wear my glasses Please, Baskoale, put on your glasses and read Help me, Arthur All right, all right Baskoale, why don't you see Italian awards? I'm just a translator so I can understand what I'm reading Baskoale, please hurry up and finish I've only got 24 hours Oh, now is the whole thing clear to me, Luigi? You were in a bad trouble You is what the fire insurance company is called a bad risk A bad risk? Why? You have a fire policy more than a one year and in all that time you don't even have a one little fire You don't even try Baskoale, city don't want a people who should have a fire That's no matter for you In America, fire is the bigger business Some store, they got too much fire so they sell it Sell it? Sure, you never see those big signs the fire sale Baskoale, all this is not to help me with my trouble Please sit down and help me What's going to happen if I'm going to get thrown out? You live in my house You're the house? Sure In my house, there's a kitchen there's a parlor there's a bedroom for me and my wife for Theresa other bedrooms are for you What are you doing, Rosa? She's asleep in that bedroom Luigi, she don't mind if her husband's asleep in the same room But I'm not married to Rosa This can be arranged What are you saying, my son? Goodbye, Papa There's no use of Baskoale Rosa is too fat for me You call the two hundred and fifty pounds of fat She's just a little chubby Isn't too much a chubby All right, all right, you big boob You're so stupid you believe everything I say before about making a fire The reason you're getting this paper is because your place is a fire trap That's the life of Squally I never trap a fire into my life Please, please, help me out Why should I help me? Sure, sure I'll help you out With Squally's life of your father Go ahead and take a walk I'll fix everything for you By the time you come back is it going to be all the spreading out with the fire department Oh, thank you Thank you for Squally Abracadabra Abracadabra Abracadabra Mr. Fire Department Hello? Mr. Fire Department I'm having a store next door at Luigi Basko's shop I'm understanding you give him 24 hours to fix up his place I think you give him too much time Huh? Well, I'm in no like to squeal but I passed his store a minute ago and I smell a smoke Life with Luigi continues in just a moment but first these days when the word democracy is spoken a lot it's a good idea to examine the definition of this word Democracy is government by the people collectively by elected representatives of the people government by the people by you yourself by every adult individual who is an American citizen you are the government and it's up to you to take an active part in governing according to the meaning of democracy vote regularly and thoughtfully on all issues large and small take an interest in the affairs of your local community it is a fact that freedom democracy is everybody's job and now for the second act of Luigi Vasco's adventures in Chicago we turn to page two of his letter to his mother in Italy I saw Mamma Mia I don't know what the Pasquale has to do to fix the things up before me all I know is that when I come home from a walk I find a fire engine that's coming up to my store I open up my door and I say please come in but American a fireman they got their own way of coming in and they break it through the window then they look all over the place and they knock it down everything and they spray the store full of water and then they say pardon me you got a fire in this place but now I'm in a real trouble because I only got six hours left to find a place to live so I'm going to buy a newspaper and I'm looking for a room rooms rooms Luigi my fellow boob hello Schultz Luigi how you made out what is doing with all the water in the store there was a lot of trouble with the fire department Schultz all of my antics and the statues they're still wet well I see Lincoln's beard is still soggy and Washington looks like he's still trying to cross the Delaware and the statue of my uncle Pietro is a broken in a half and one uncle became two the place is sure so I'm looking at another pepper trying to find a place to live although I help you a classified ass yeah and here are some places for you here rentals I'm going to have a live in a rental what is it like a trailer Luigi stop talking like that you're getting me all for shimmers here you leave for yourself and leave all right huh that's absolute fridge hey what the kind of writing is it this that's a really age go ahead and read that's absolute fridge got a stool so I suppose you know I suppose you that's the preference there's a trend and a chitchat rent by you are more 225 dollars how you like that everything is abbreviated but the price here here's some more places 300 a month 315 200 175 this is a look like it's not the possible to sleep unless you're a millionaire wait wait here's a good one three bedroom apartment overlooking a lake show drive beautifully furnished the parquet of floors across the ventilation brand new stuff in the refrigerator 40 dollars Luigi that's wonderful where you see that right here under wanted Luigi that means nobody wants sure that's right I wanted believe me Luigi you ain't gonna get it but I like to help you but I gotta get back to my stool now well thanks anyway Schultz you're real a friend right goodbye Luigi and stop looking so worried be like me Luigi smile my chromatism is killing me I wish I could have been like a Schultz always laughing but I'm gonna cry if I'm gonna have to find a place so soon hey that's a big guy looks wonderful marriage salon seventy-five dollars assure you of a permanent home my problem is the sound why I have to live in this the whole when I gotta move over there he's a funny looking place a real estate officer like this someone never sees with a big canopy out the side here this one must be the place find a safe one the payment that covers everything well I'm going inside come in friend I'm gonna see your eyes on the paper I'm gonna like it to take advantage of what you offer it's certainly you've had a misfortune recently yes I would have fired the fire department you have my deepest sympathy who was the unfortunate one Juan Capietro he's a broke his neck well that's one way to go and where is the body the body's into the store but the head is into the backyard what? who was the attending physician I'm gonna have a call with the doctor if I cannot fix it with a glue I throw him in an incinerator well I'm reduced to like the shoulder so you have a loss to laugh manic depressive type tell me who was responsible for your uncle's demise please my uncle never have a demise he's a keeper cat oh I'm gonna miss it at the broken statue of Uncle Pietro statue? oh why didn't you say so immediately for a moment I thought you were peculiar yes now who did you come to see about me you aren't you a little premature coming in when you're alive well then I'ma come in when I'm a dead okay buddy it's your funeral we'll be glad to reserve a spot for you well that's a finer when can I move in well whenever you're ready we are that's a finer I move in at tonight what? oh is there something else very important I'ma know like a decode is it got plenty of heat in the displacer depends on which direction you go no for all record your name Luigi Bosco a height 5 feet to 4 and a half inches and no half sizes 5 feet 5 now would you like pine, redwood or mahogany it is all the same to you I'ma like a wall of paper Luigi my friend hello hello hey why you look so white it's a long story Pascuali I thought I was a get an apartment and I find I'd join a cemetery oh you're big and stupid a boba you've got a lousy brain it's a pleasure Pascuali that's no way to talk to a corpse and what's your plans now little cabbage head I'ma know got the plans Pascuali any minute a man from five apartment he's a walk in and throw me out of my store Pascuali is all over with the Luigi I think I'ma gonna go to the river Luigi which would you rather do commit the suicide or marry my Rosa well don't answer besides you in an opposition a bargain as soon a man is going to come from a fire department and even though I'ma your landlord I'ma gonna have to throw you out of your gonna sleep in a park alright Pascuali I'ma marry Rosa Luigi I knew the day would have come for you to fall in love well and a happy bride is waiting outside I gotta call her Rosa Rosa Rosa say hello to Luigi hello Rosa Rosa there's two men that stand in the hair just for which one is to say he's gonna marry you but Papa you're already married to Mama who shut up your face now Luigi let me see your kiss to the happy bride I promise to marry her and not to kiss her then Rosa you kiss the Luigi Rosa how you expected to kiss the Luigi if you stand there with a big pail of water in your hand put it down but Papa I was just washing the floor hello is Mr. Basko here I'm Lieutenant McKeever of the fire inspection department hello Mr. Fireman he's alright Lieutenant Mr. Fireman I'ma take care of everything yeah absolutely I'ma gonna close up at the starting to move out Mr. Basko it's not necessary for you to move out we just want you to comply with the fire regulations and I see you've already met one of our requirements because then we're gonna get the marriage I don't know about that but I see you got a pail of water handy I'll get yourself a pail of sand and an axe and the law will be satisfied come on money and that's all right well not exactly there's a $50 fine which has to be paid $50 I'm no god to the money I'd pay the fire to Mr. Fireman I'm his father-in-law you don't have to pay it the landlord is supposed to pay it the landlord to pay to the fine that's right Basko Ali yes my son hello landlord goodbye father-in-law and so Mamma Mia everything has ended up pretty good and I'ma learn other lessons in America fire prevention this isn't important to Mamma Mia it saves millions of lives millions of dollars of a property so I, Luigi Basko because I want to be a good citizen and I do my share you should see what I'ma do to my store now Mamma Mia it's not only got a pail of water and a sand but also I got an axe to fire extinguisher I'ma take down the paper window shades I'ma throw away the paper plates and even a wooden Indian that's standing in my door where smoking a pipe I'ma buy him an asher tray also when I'ma get enough money I'ma buy a sprinkler system it's wonderful and new intervention so men that can put out the fire and take a shower at the same time you're lovin' a son of Luigi Basko the little immigrant son Life with Luigi is a shy Howard production and is written by Mack Benhoff and directed by Mack Benhoff J. Carol Max is starred as Luigi Basko with Alan Rita's Pasquale and Conrad Schultz, Mary Schiff is misfolding and Jody Gilbert as Rosa music is under the direction of Len Murray on most of these same CBS stations you'll hear Norman Corwin's latest hour-long radio drama Citizen of the World we believe that as Luigi's friend you'll find Citizen of the World an inspiring account of the world today you'll hear how men of many nations are working quietly and well to combat plagues discover new medical techniques straighten out international misunderstandings you'll hear the voices of Marlena Dietrich Admiral Nimitz, Carl Sandberg the presence of citizenry in the world Citizen of the World will star Lee J. Cobb, the noted Broadway actor and you can listen to this drama of hope good cheer, hard work and honesty in just about an hour Paul Masterson speaking stay tuned now for Earn Your Vacation which follows immediately over most of these same stations this is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System