 Hello, my name is Maya aka Shin was Maya and I had a home birth. Hi, my name is Shan Boudram and I had a hospital birth Hello there lovers and friends So this video is a quick compare and contrast between a home birth and a hospital birth From two individuals who both had positive experiences with their labor Hopefully what this video becomes is the comment section will be the starring role because you can't base your decision off of Two individual people because as you will hopefully read there are a million different scenarios and experiences that people have had So do your research Read listen be curious ask tons of questions of those around you and furthermore To the healthcare practitioners in your life to make the best decision for yourself Which I would say that I did and Maya would definitely say that she did and that's why I wanted to share this video with you Also in general if you are going through something and you have a big decision coming up Or you know there's something standing in your way of you achieving ultimate happiness peace or less anxiety in your life I want to tell you this video is sponsored by better help and better help is a worldwide service That matches you with a licensed professional counselor or therapist within 48 hours And everything is done securely online through your phone. 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That's an hour away seemed a bit ridiculous The real truth is I I never considered anything else both of my parents work in healthcare My dad's a paramedic and my mom was a labor and delivery nurse for 10 years My sister had her kids in a hospital My mom had her kids her mom had her kids my cousins had their kids I did have an aunt who had a home birth and was very successful And nonetheless, it was just the a natural decision for me just because of my family How did I prepare for a home birth? Oh If you're going to do a home birth you have to over prepare. I read Oh four or five books on home birthing I watched Documentaries or gasmik birth and on instagram. I followed accounts that had a lot of home births I was also following in the hashtag free birth free birthing And that's what a woman really decides to go all in and do it all on her own All on her own. I didn't want to do that, but I wanted to get Inspired by the confidence and the fierceness that these women had Lots of preparation. You cannot wing it. You can't think to yourself. Oh, this is natural. I'm going to do it naturally you have to reprogram and unprogram a lot of Things that have been taught throughout society because When those contractions hit Chad it's a you go into another world and you have to have the tools to Not be afraid and focus What did I do to prepare for my hospital birth? This is the embarrassing part of my story in that because My mom has so much experience with hospital births My dad has delivered babies. My mom has delivered umpteen babies I just knew that they had seen all the various things that could happen and as a result I didn't feel like I had to personally Do preparation and personally research I just knew that I had people in my corner who loved me very deeply and who knew the system and who knew What could go right? What could go wrong? What my options were? So I really just relied on their expertise I will say that this led to an issue for lack of a better term But in essence I gave birth during the pandemic and it was november 2020 And you were only allowed to bring one person. So all leading up to the Birth of my daughter I was adamant that I wanted my mom there because neither Jared nor I had done our research And I just felt very comfortable with somebody who I know could advocate for my needs and who I know again Knew the system and knew what I wanted more than anything else and what I wanted more than anything else Was to have a vaginal delivery if at all possible so I was very clear I wanted my mom But in essence towards the end of our pregnancy specifically the baby shower Jared's parents For lack of better term kind of ambushed my mom and was like I really think it should be Jared in there And then we started to have more enhanced conversations about that and um that became a Pain point for me because I was like I haven't done it in my own research and I'm I've been relying on my mom This is all that I know and if she's not there then like what is that going to mean? And so I obviously really wanted my husband there and I thought it'd be a beautiful moment for us And I believed all those things but during the pandemic you can only pick one person so My mom did not end up being the person there But that's where FaceTime really comes in handy and we called her all the time and she made herself available And she spoke with the doctors and the nurses which there were several because we were in the hospital for about 48 hours But um it ended up working out, but I will say that if I had done my own research I think I would have felt more confident not having my mom by my side I had hospital bag packed in the event. I had to go I did have midwives and doulas and the midwife two midwives and a doula the midwives had everything they had um pain relief they had first aid kits they had everything necessary for Myself and saga if anything were to happen um But I had my hospital bag and I had a hospital letter and a doula that was going to help me enforce those requests Again, I didn't do a lot of preparation. So maybe like I was 10 days late. So I think like a week before my birth. I was like, shouldn't I start to buy stuff I already had it in my mind that I was going to have A late delivery because my mom and my sister that was their experience and my mom was just like the way she was Seeing how much my belly had descended and she was staying with me at the time So she kept saying to me like you're not ready. You're not ready So I think that I was also delaying the like hospital bag thing But about a week before my due date, I started to think and look online. And so I ended up buying I think it's called frida. I've tried to link it some kind of like hospital pack thing that people said that they really needed I'm gonna be honest with you. I didn't end up using anything in that The hospital really had a lot of the aftercare needs that I required The only thing that I am grateful that I packed in my bag is my own juices Because again because of covid you can't leave and you can't order in food So we got freshly squeezed juices and like that was really nice to have throughout The one thing I wish I did was make a playlist I had a fine delivery and it was easy enough, but I didn't have a luxurious Completely me delivery because I didn't prepare for that But for anybody who's panicking about like, what should I buy? What do I get? They they even have like diapers there for you and they have a swaddling thing for the baby And they they have a lot so ask your doctor about what's provided. You might be surprised. It doesn't have to be this big expensive thing Um for my home birth, we didn't buy anything, but our midwife had a pool a birthing pool I didn't think I want to have a water birth But they did highly recommend it for pain relief because uh, the warm water will alleviate pain. So we had that And she rented it I had access to my shower and that's where I actually went And put the hot water really hot and on my back to help alleviate the the pain But I didn't I didn't buy anything How long was I in labor? I don't know So let's say I started having contractions at 5 30 a.m my water broke at 3 4 p.m And saga came at my daughter saga came at 10 30 p.m I was in labor for technically 24 27 hours I got to the hospital at 7 a.m November the 11th, and then I gave birth to ryu at 7 15 a.m November the 12th But when people say that like I was in labor for 30 hours, you're like, oh my god, that sounds terrible It's not like that at all. Um in essence, I started to dilate So I was one centimeters dilated at the top of 24 and in that time I ate great food I danced I slept a bunch. I took showers So the time that it actually became painful was midnight and on but like I mentioned at midnight when it became like, whoa, this is this is some real That's when I got the epidural. So yeah 24 hours, but it's like not like what you think I think unless you thought that it was exactly that that's what you think What kept me focused during my labor was my partner max I Originally had a cross that I was holding to like focus my pressure and uh pain on forget that man And I just focused on max like in the contractions. I have my eyes were closed But when they weren't I was open and staring and dancing and yeah Max In labor, this is gonna sound really crazy But when the nurse was prepping me for the labor team to come in she said Basically what you're gonna do is ab an ab workout. She's like, do you think you have strong abs? Anybody who knows me knows that I don't work out nothing else other than my abs and I only do the exact same workout It's called eight minutes of abs on youtube. So as soon as she said that I just heard the voice of The trainer and the music in my head and the entire time that I was pushing I was just replaying that video in my head and that's that's what I focused on What was just me max and saga we were on the countryside with no one absolutely no one Which was a good thing and a bad thing. The good thing is we just get to be in our little bubble the flip side of that is We didn't know anything. I thought I was breastfeeding properly for her latch She didn't like a deep latch. That's you're supposed to give them a deep laugh. She hated it. She would be that So By day by 48 hours The first was great. But by that 48 hour, it was just like downhill screaming baby And we thought we broke her so Yeah, the beginning of the nightmare started then and it ended at the end of the fourth semester After I gave birth the next 36 hours we spent in the hospital And it literally felt like the ghosts of christmas pass the christmas carol movie like You just kept getting visited by people over and over again It was like a non-stop revolving door of an ear specialist and eye specialist and a Vaccine specialist and a blood specialist and a lactation nurse and a lactation junior nurse and a lactation senior nurse It was so many people came to visit It was great because you got a lot of assurance and a lot of education Very early on and uh, you know a swaddling expert came in to teach us how to swaddle the baby There was a lot happening. But at around the 24 hour mark I got really exhausted just of the interruptions and then top of that too You kind of just want to be you know alone with your baby. So I called my mom And I told her all the people that we had seen so far and I said we're still waiting for another pediatrician And some other expert who were taking a long time and my mom was like give it a little bit So we did we ate lunch and afterwards. She's okay. Have they come yet? I said no She said you're gonna go to the front desk pack your bag Put your outfit on and tell them that you're llama. I said, what's llama? She said leaving against medical advice and we did that We basically packed up right you and packed up our bag and we went to the front and like what you know, miss brady What's going on? I'm like, oh, we're leaving now We're going llama and then everybody kind of like corralled to be like, well, you still have to you still have to I'm like my mom said I don't and we're all good. Thank you so much It's been a great time and then I went home and I can't even remember the next 24 hours after we got home Which I think is a good thing. I think it was pretty Pretty basic, you know, we felt confident in the health of Ryu and my mom was there who of course I'm super confident in her ability. So I feel like that's when I just got to relax, which is why I don't really remember much My advice to you if you're planning on having a home birth you have to have the utmost humble approach I was well aware that anything could happen. There are risks associated with everything in life Not just the hospital and not just at home a lot of people can have this idea that a home birth is A risk to yourself and your baby a hospital is a risk. I know women who have Had injuries who have lost Babies and who have lost lives in the hospital. So my advice is to have a very humble approach study study as if Your life depends on it because it does really and With freedom comes huge responsibility. So I would just encourage you to read and understand meditate lots of meditation and focus on your breath and try to do this As soon as possible as early as possible. Don't wait till you're pregnant to understand this stuff I really wish I had known this before I was pregnant. I wish our society and our school system taught us this but because they don't There's a lot of work involved on your end if you want to pursue this The number one advice that I would give to somebody who's having a hospital birth Is to have somebody in your corner who knows what's going on and knows the language It's all too easy for the hospital staff who does this Day in day out multiple times a day to roll over you or to try to assume what you need because they've done this so many times But they've never given birth to your baby and they've never gone through labor with you They might forget that so you need somebody in your corner who is reminding them that you are an individual And you have special considerations and that All options have to be weighed before decisions are made. So I'm so so so grateful I had my mom she gave us terms like llama which is leaving against medical advice Which I'll talk about later, which is what we did at the end And then she also told us because essentially I was ready to push But there was no labor team available and we were waiting for like 15 20 minutes And my mom said you're gonna call them right now and tell them that you're starting to push And if they want to be there to catch it they better show up See I'm already catching stuff shout out to you mom you trained me well So, yeah, I should just say as a caveat I went to Kaiser Permanente and with Kaiser you have rotating doctors And the doctor I saw most of the time during my pregnancy was not the person who delivered my baby And so as a result there was all these opinions and all these people and people who were on shift work And so I needed somebody consistent and that was my mom for me. I encourage you to have somebody like that for yourself The day I went into labor I felt chill for the most part Uh, I woke up I did not wake my husband up and I was just breathing it was the first time I felt a contraction I had no idea what contractions were so I thought it was period cramps and when they kept happening I realized oh these this could be the game time But when I started to time the contractions, I realized it's not gonna happen today and it didn't So I felt chill Right was I chill? Yeah Yeah, there's a lot of pain But it's a different kind of pain. It's like period cramp pain. You can do that ladies, right the morning I went into labor I felt thrill I hate pregnancy with a passion and I used to Actually look back and wish that I was more upbeat about pregnancy But now I'm really grateful that I was as honest as I was because I know people who've Had miserable pregnancies who have been like thank you for sharing that and I myself Have definitely looked back and been like it's nice that I had that honest perspective And I didn't try to delude myself or delude other people. So I hated pregnancy So the morning of labor I was like, yes Let's end this fucking shit, joe Yes, I will say this kind of worked against me because the second that I got into the car I said to myself the next time you get into a car and the next time you see this home This is going to be over. You're going to have a baby. It's going to work out. Well, it's going to work out fine But the next time that you're back here, just know that pregnancy will be done And we'll talk about that that that mindset I think actually worked to my detriment Beautiful memory from giving birth was When I asked the birthing team to leave My bedroom, that's where I was in the birthing pool and just being able to have My contractions with my husband. I felt a lot more comfortable I felt a lot more at ease and I felt a lot more free which because of that feeling I was able to Um birth my daughter into the world A lot quicker And safely a high point of homebirth was Dancing my baby down with my husband in the middle of contractions Uh, I was able to dance and thankfully I have an amazing partner and he was playing my My birthing playlist from spotify and I was just we were dancing so in between contractions I was like A high point of hospital birth You know My husband got to cut the cord got to see the baby boy and he was there to cheer me on I felt cared for there was tons of people in the room Which some people don't like that chaoticness I felt cared for and I felt held and Everybody was cheering at once and if you listen back to the audio from it, you could just hear It just felt like a pep rally and I liked that. Um, but if I'm really honest like the like not Hallmark high point of hospital birth was the epidural I lived for the epidural. I loved everything about it I don't even remember the pain of it going in because by the time I got the epidural was midnight And I was just so over Breathing through the contractions and some like give me the epidural. I'm done. I'm tired. I want to go to sleep They gave it to me. I don't remember what it felt like. I just remember that afterwards I was walking on sunshine. I went to sleep. I woke up. I was shivery The nurse checked me. It was time to push. I pushed. I felt pressure I felt present I didn't feel pain I could hear everything and I could feel the feels and when they put my daughter on my chest I didn't feel like I was out of it or loopy. I felt completely there and completely painless my Placenta slipped out. I didn't even know It's just I don't know what was going on down there And then best of all they said things like oh, you may have trouble walking afterwards I could walk right away and they said oh, you may have trouble, you know taking a number two or bowel movement I had no trouble at all. It was like literally just the perfect drug my body just Me and the epidural we just go together The low point of my home birth Was thinking to myself after three hours of Contractions like why why am I a why did you decide to have a home birth as if I could escape the pain somewhere else? I was just asking myself why and I was a bit afraid But I knew that was a distraction. So I had to focus but I would say that was a low point of Allowing my thoughts to Get away like what do you mean? You can't do anything. You're here a low point of hospital birth was The decision that I was asked to make And it was actually the decision that I made if I take responsibility for myself. So in essence what happened is I had my induction because I was late by 10 days. So I had an induced labor Scheduled for 6 p.m on wednesday, but I went into labor naturally at 6 a.m on wednesday So I thought I was further along in my dilation than I was so I went to the hospital and they informed me I was actually only one centimeters dilated most hospitals only admit you at around three centimeters dilated But they said because you already have an appointment to come here at 6 p.m You might as well just stay that was one doctor's opinion at around 1 p.m Another doctor comes in and I was dancing at this time. I wasn't in that much pain I was chilling me and Jared were just kind of vibing. So she comes in we're playing music I'm dancing she looks at me and she's like Can I check your cervix and she checked and she's like your labor's not really progressing So you have a choice right now you can either go home and labor there Or you can start your induction early so we can get this thing pop him Because I told myself I'm not going back home without a baby and I'm not going back home unless I'm not pregnant I chose to get induced even though I really didn't have to I should have just waited and let my body Do it naturally because I ended up developing Minor infection in a fever because of one of the techniques they use which is the balloon folly technique So by 8 p.m. That night the I was if you watch my birth video, you'll see what I went through But that was definitely the low point and it was it was a pretty scary point If I was to have another child, I would likely have another home birth. I loved it It was so beautiful. It was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life If I was to successfully have another child I would choose to have a hospital birth again And I would definitely choose to get the epidural again I I'd get it right now if they were offering. I'm just I don't have a reason. It was just such a great time It was actually the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced I think Uh, it's always you always feel distressed when you're seeing your partner in so much agony and so much pain But when you're tapping to that spiritual connection with your partner when she's going through the contraction And you can see that she is on it and that she's safe You will feel safe too. And me and Maya we were dancing. We were laughing We were telling expressing each other How much we loved each other and you know, just uh sparking that uh Uh, what's it called oxytocin? So we were sparking that natural oxytocin together Being all sexy and cute together. It was it was really beautiful Okay, the birthing experience from my perspective now I've heard this a lot of times of people being like it's going to be magical. It's going to be great It's going to be the most incredible Experience in your life. And that is an understatement It was wild like wild Straight instincts kick in, you know, I like I describe it as like You know when you're really really focused on something or you're in that flow where everything kind of gets tunnel vision And nothing else around you matters. I promise you there was like five People nurses doctors in the room at the time and the only person I could see was shan And this baby coming out I was still I came into it with all these worries of like How do I encourage and then you see all the things on the on the tv where the Wife is grabbing your hand and breaking the man's hand and yelling and going crazy And uh, and so I was just like how do I support shan in this moment? And I was kind of nervous because I didn't know how I would be able to do that Um, but when you're in it, you're just there I just remember putting my forehead on top of uh shan's head And just like talking to her in her ear and just telling her baby. You've got this. You've got this push push and Here's a little keynote for for not keynote But here's a little advice for any man out there that they don't tell you so I'm sitting there Encouraging shan. I'm holding her hand. I'm rubbing her head And I'm just like, you know trying to just be a part of this process And I look down and I see ryu's head come out now What they didn't tell me was that the baby's skull It shifts So when the doctor was was getting the baby out the he was she was like grabbing on the head and the head came out Like a cone so I in in my mind I was like don't let shan see this this woman just killed our baby and i'm freaking out Uh, I wish they would have told me that because my heart dropped into my stomach and I was just like mind blown now I don't know if shan's gonna put this part in there. So we're in the moment We're we're going she's pushing the baby finally comes out and Like everything settles The whole room got quiet and it was just shan and I and I could hear her breath and The doctor was like don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down and I'm like, why am I not looking down? So of course, what do you do when the doctor says don't look down? I look down and shan's placenta fell on the floor So there was blood all over and I don't want to scare anybody but there was blood all over the ground all over the walls There's like feet marks from the uh, uh, the doctors walking around. I look down. There's blood on my shoes It was a blood scene But the crazy thing about it None of that blood affected me. The first thing that mattered was like is shan okay? Does this is this like and she was like no normally the placenta would have came out later And we would have put it in a in a uh in a container so that you wouldn't have seen all that blood But I was like, okay, shan's fine right. He's fine Who cares? That's all that matters. Uh, but it was a wild experience. Uh, I can't describe it. I'm sure shan does a great job in this video, but it was amazing. Um, I never felt so It was just the instincts. It just felt so so What's the word that I'm looking for? I'm trying to find it What's the word? well It was wild and it was beautiful and I loved it It was crazy. It was it was magical I just want to issue out a huge shout out to shameless my ever coming on this video and for just being so honest and candid And caring and compassionate and your responses as always you have got to watch maya's birth video from end to end And also the content that she has on her channel with her husband max is stellar and she mentioned a little bit about the fourth trimester which is Basically the first three months after you have the baby and how hard that was on her And anybody who's already been to the labor experience and is in that phase You definitely could gain a lot from watching that video I'll put some links down in the info box below and speaking of going down into the info box at the very top That's where you're going to see a link to get that 10 off your first month of counseling with better help Should you be in a place where you feel like you need support? And if you've ever thought to yourself that support isn't possible for you because of Accessibility or because of finances or because of time I really love this service because it takes all that into consideration and truly does put you in the driver's seat Of your mental health and wellness and pairs you with somebody who affirms that so Give it a try poke around see if you like anything see what's possible for you And if it is possible then get yourself a 10 off your first month to a happier More adjusted version of you whatever that means in your own particular world. So once again, that's better H-e-l-p Dot com slash booty and that link is down below Also, like I mentioned down below in the comment section. This is really what the video is all about It's not about two people's positive perspectives. It is about multiple perspectives it is about Multiple people sharing their truth and the person who came on this video because they're trying to learn Getting to really get the benefit of so many people's wisdom and firsthand experiences So I highly encourage you if you have something to share firsthand or someone close to you Please please please do share below