 Family Theatre presents Fred Allen and Dennis Day. To Dennis Day in William the Produce the Drama, your host and narrator, Fred Allen. Once upon a time, lived a knight named Sir William. Sir William was different than all the other knights of his time. He was a pretty good knight as knights went and was dearly loved by all who knew him. He'd rescued quite a few beautiful princesses in his time and he'd been the only knight in the kingdom ever to get the best of an ogre. But there was one thing that always bothered Sir William and about this he worried constantly. Sir William wasn't brave. Or at least that's what he thought. Every time he'd do something courageous he'd become so frightened that he'd turn pale and tremble so violently that his armor would rattle. He was so afraid of ogres and witches that his heart would pound aloud at even the mention of them. Sir William always wanted to do something about his great fear but he could never find the time until one day out of sheer desperation he took his problem to the king. As he walked into the royal throne room, the king looked up. Oh, hello there, Sir Bill. The king always calls Sir William, Sir Bill, for short. Why aren't you out fighting dragons like the rest of the knights? Well, Your Highness, it's my annual day off and besides, Sir, I've got a pretty serious problem. A problem, you see? Well, let's hear it. But no melodramana. Well, you see, Your Highness, to make a long story short, I'm tired of being a coward. I want to be a brave and fearless knight like the rest of the knights. Tell me, Sire, how can I learn to be brave? Well, is that all that's bothering you? Oh, my gosh, all fish hooks. You shouldn't let a little thing like that bother you. Why, anybody could give you the answer to that one in a minute. Easy's fallen off along. Why, you just simply... Hey, what you just simply... Oh, that is to say, you just give me... Yes? But there's only one thing you have to do, Your Highness. Would you repeat the question, please? How can I learn to be brave, Your Highness? You're brave, you say. Oh, that's a good question. Yes, I wish I had a good answer. And considering I'm king, you think I would. Yes, Sir Bill, I just don't know. It really gives you trouble, does it? It's something I must learn, Your Highness. If I don't find out before too long, I'm liable to have a nervous breakdown. A breakdown? Oh, I wouldn't want that to happen. I tell you what, I think I know someone who can help you, and I'll fix it up with a head knight so you can take a little leave of absence. Oh, will you? Gee, thank you, Your Highness. Oh, I didn't think nothing of it, my boy. Yes, I guess Mother Nature would be just the person for you to see. She always seems to have the answers. But you go to her, son. I think she can help you. That's Sir William set out on the road to Mother Nature's castle, which everybody knows is in the very deepest part of the greenest forest in all of the kingdom. As he rode along, the forest kept getting darker and darker. Then, just as he rounded a small pine-covered knoll, he came to a large clearing, and right in the middle of the clearing, he saw a huge castle. It wasn't like most castles, though. This one was a dark shade of purple, and there wasn't so much as a single blade of grass growing within 50 yards of it. Now, anybody could see that this castle could have belonged to no one but a witch or to an ogre. So naturally, being timid, Sir William made his horse walk on tiptoe while he sort of looked the place over. Most people would have run away at even the glimpse of a purple castle, but Sir William couldn't run. Rule number 467 of the Night's Field Manual states specifically that any night coming across a castle in the forest must investigate that castle, particularly if anything seems off-color, and purple is about as far off-color as a castle can get. Very quietly, Sir William got off his horse and crept up to a window. Looking at him from the dark interior, he could see lots of eyes. He counted 12. 12 eyes. That could either be six people or four swunks. I guess it's pretty generally known that a swank is nothing but a tall dragon with a hate complex. But very few people know that back in those days all swunks had three eyes apiece for looking around corners. Sir William couldn't quite see them well enough to know whether they were swunks or not. But he could tell that something very strange was going on because all of the eyes started moving around in a most peculiar manner. And three of the eyes kept getting bigger and bigger until it seemed they were right on top of him. Then there was a terrific crash followed by a terrific clatter. The crash was a medium-sized swank jumping through the window and the clatter was Sir William as he hit the ground in full armor with the medium-sized swank standing right in the middle of his chest. Sir William was terrified. He trembled as he had never trembled before. Even on his good trembling days he had never trembled this much. But no matter whether he trembled up and down or he trembled sideways the medium-sized swank still stood there right in the middle of his chest. Sir William had killed quite a few swunks in his life but it looked as though this time the tables were about to be turned on Sir William. It seemed that any minute the swank would rip him apart and Sir William sure did some mighty fast praying. All of a sudden a young man leaped through the window and knocked the swank off its feet. Luckily it took the beast a couple of seconds to regain its composure and that was all Sir William and his rescuer needed to draw their swords and kill it. The medium-sized swank barbled and burbled and bubbled a bit as it sank to the ground. As they sheathed their swords Sir William gave the young man a look of gratitude and said Certainly glad that's over. You're jolly well right. I say desperately good fighter that one. There was an astonishing clever thing you did. Never would have thought of it myself. It was? Always astonishingly so. Certainly I'd never have thought of setting down on the ground like that and stabbing up at the tender side. But then that's the way I am always doing things the hard way. I'm quite a dance but I get things done. Oh no I wouldn't say you were a dance. Yes I am but I do get things done. I said please allow me to introduce myself. Darrell's the name Prince Darrell. Oh pleased to meet you Prince. My name's Sir William. Oh yes I've heard of you. I understand you're rather good at this sort of thing. Swank killing I mean. And only is William the terrible or something like that isn't it? No William the terrified I'm afraid. Oh I say you're pulling my leg. I dare say you could have dispatched the swamp inside the castle more easily than I am. I haven't been doing it too long you know. You mean there were more inside? Three I think. Here's three. You're a very brave man Prince Darrell. Oh I don't know. Of course I do hate to brag but... Aren't you afraid? I mean just a little bit. Afraid? I don't know the meaning of the word. Royal blood in all that you know. Never been afraid in all my life. Well I swan. By George I seem to have forgotten something rather important. I wonder what it was. Oh yes would you excuse me for a moment. Certainly. Must go get the beautiful princess. There is one you know always is in this sort of thing. Of course. I really must be on my way anyhow. I won't hear of it old boy. I'd like you to meet her. My wife's sister. But she's quite a looker. Well Prince Darrell. Nonsense. Left to just inside the door. Only take a moment. Be back in a jivipipip. Prince Darrell. I really have to be on my way. Besides my armor's all tarnished. And my hair isn't comb. My shoes need polishing. And she really is pretty. I just know my heart will pound out loud. And then... No by George this time I'll be brave. I won't let it beat out loud. Besides she's like some of the beautiful princesses I've seen. She'll be as ugly as an old mud fence. Oh here she comes. Uh oh. There goes my heart. You see that didn't take long did it? Right over here my dear. Princess Anne. I'd like you to meet Sir William the terrible. A brave knight who gave me valuable assistance in affecting your rescue. I'm pleased to know you Sir William. I'll never forget what you've done for me. I was thinking oh man. Perhaps you'd like to escort the princess to my castle next Saturday night. My wife and I will be having our annual ball. You seem like a rather nice chap. And I do want you to die. This was ridiculous. Sir William was a knight. Why on earth was he afraid of this tiny wisp of a girl? Although she was about the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Of course he'd like to take her to the ball. But it was no use. Sir William was so frightened he couldn't even speak. He tried to say something, but no words came out. He couldn't think of a thing to say. No not one single clever retort. Except possibly yes. And he knew that would never impress a wonderful creature like the princess. And that blabbermouthed heart of his. If he had only been able to keep it quiet just this once the princess waited but no reply to the invitation came. The smile that had been on her lovely face faded. She slowly turned and walked towards Prince Daryl's horse. And Daryl with a look of disappointment followed her. Never in his whole life had Sir William been so ashamed if only he hadn't been so afraid he could have taken Princess Anne to the ball. Maybe if he'd played his cards right he even could have gone steady with her. But now he'd probably never see her again. More determined than ever he set out once more to find the answer to his problem. After about an hour's ride he came to the deepest part of the Greenish Forest in all of the kingdom where stood the beautiful castle of Mother Nature. There was a moat around the castle but there was never much water in the moat because Mother Nature was always afraid that people would fall into the moat and she didn't want to take chances on their drowning. Sir William took off his shoes and stockings and started wading through the moat. Sir William knocked on the front door. The door opened. May I help you? Mother Nature? Oh, no, I'm not Mother Nature. She's busy this morning. She can't get the moon to go down. But perhaps I can help you. Won't you come in? I'm Sir William, Miss. I've got to see Mother Nature personally. Oh, a personal problem. I thought it might be something easy like frost warnings. If you'll just be seated I'm sure she'll be with you in a moment. Thank you. I'll tell her you're waiting. There's a young man waiting to see you, Mother Nature. He says he has a personal problem. Oh, thank you, Elsie. Did you get that letter off to the snow bank? Letter, ma'am? About more snow for the mountains? Oh, yes. Yes, ma'am. But they said you're overdrawn now. All right, another one. Can't let those trout streams go dry. Oh, young man, what can I do? Look out! Oh, my goodness. Gee, it looks like a bad fall. I hope you didn't hurt yourself. Well, if I do that one more time I'm going to repeal the law of gravity. You really should have that carpet nailed down. Yes, I suppose I should. But, you know, it just wouldn't look natural that way. I do like to have things look natural. Now then, what seems to be troubling you? Well, Mother Nature, I guess you can tell I'm a knight. Yes. Who else wears iron clothes? Well, I've been a knight for nigh-on to six years now and I've never been able to get over being afraid of witches and ogres. Indeed. In fact, while I was on my way over here I had a fight with a swanck and it just about scared the nightlights out of me. I've tried as hard as I can to be brave and fearless, but I just can't. Look at the dents in my armor. Yes, I was noticing them. They look highly unnatural. I just can't help it. I can't keep any kind of a press in my iron pants at all. I get frightened and I tremble and my knees knock together. Of course. You get all dented up. You've just got to help me, Mother Nature. I can't go through life being afraid of every swanck that comes along. Well, that's true. I wish I could help you. Gee, I certainly hope you can think of something. Well, I'll think as hard as I can without wrinkling my forehead. That would look unnatural, I suppose. Yes. Say, I think I can help you. Oh, good. Because I'm afraid I don't know the answer myself, although I'm one of the smartest girls in the world, Sir William. But I think I can send you to someone who can help. Who? Father Time. Oh, yes. I've heard of him. What's the quotation? Time heals all wounds. Well, that's a misquotation. It is? Yes. You see, when Father Time was young, everybody took advantage of his good nature. So he started the quotation about himself as a kind of protective measure. Well, I didn't know that. Why, I thought it was common knowledge. Well, you know, originally the quotation was Time Wounds All Heels. But you know how stories get twisted in the telling. Do you really think Father Time can help me? Oh, I think he can. But don't tell him I sent you. I'm mad at him, you know. Oh, I thought you two would be on the best of terms. Well, you see, Sir William, he gave me a vacuum cleaner for my birthday. And surely you know mother nature of whores of vacuum. Oh, I really don't think he meant anything by it. Well, probably not. But Father Time's birthday is coming up next week, and I'm going to send him a three-minute egg timer with only two and a half minutes worth of sand in it. Oh, Sir William, don't look so distressed. Give the old boy my regards if you want. I will, Mother Nature, and thank you very much for your help. Well, think nothing of it. Say if you should happen to run into Jack Frost, ask him about getting more snow for my mountains, will you? Sure will. Goodbye, and thanks. Yeah, we'll drop in again sometime. Goodbye. His morale considerably better. Sir William set out for Father Time's Palace. This journey was not so long. Father Time lived in a nearby village called Greenwich, which was supposed to be in the exact center of the kingdom. But before many miles had gone by, again the unexpected happened. This time a huge rhinosso dragon jumped for a tree that hung over the road. The monster had jumped at Sir William, but as we all know, the rhinosso dragons are ferocious fighters and are feared even by swunks. They are very poor jumpers. So naturally, this one missed Sir William and landed right in the middle of the road, just in front of him. For a moment, the beast just stood there, gnashing his nasty dentures and foaming a horrible foam. Then the rhinosso dragon started to advance. Sir William could tell by the mean look in its beady, little bloodshot eyes that it was up to no good. Once again, Sir William began to tremble. This time he was completely unnerved. He trembled so violently that he couldn't even hear himself think above the clatter of his armor. There was only one thing to do. He drew his sword and made a quick slash at the left of the rhinosso dragon's head. But the beast danced to the right. Then it threw a left snap at Sir William's head. But he caught it on the edge of his knee and countered with a right slash to the midsection. Then a left and a right to the head. A right and a left. Then a left and a right. The monster reeled a bit. Sir William could see that he opened a small cut below the beast's right eye. The fight was not yet over. A faint to the left. Then the vicious upper snap from the rhinosso dragon finally turned the tide of battle. In doing it, however, the beast had left himself wide open. Sir William drew back his sword and whistled a hard jab at the heart of the monster. With a gasp and a horrible sigh, another rhinosso dragon had bitten the dust. It took Sir William quite a while to stop trembling enough to continue his journey. But after a few minutes, the dread of another encounter urged him on toward Father Time's home and an answer to his problem. It was a great multi-turreted castle of timeless marble. Sir William put his horse in the horse parking lot around in the back and came around to the front and pushed the doorbell. And a young lady answered his ring. Yes? My name is Sir William the Terrified. I'd like to see Father Time if I may. Oh yes, won't you come in? Thank you. You wouldn't by any chance be his daughter. Oh no, I'm just his secretary. My name's Miss Calculate. You'll just be seated here. He'll be with you as soon as he finishes his call. Yes, that's right. I certainly have a lot of clocks here. Father Time, collect them. Will you excuse me, please? Oh yes, of course. Collect. Station to station will do. Hello? Arlington Naval Observatory. This is Father Time. I have a note on my desk to call you. Oh ho ho, is that wrong? Sure. No, no trouble at all. Are you ready? All right, stand by. At the sound of the tone, the time will be 11.59 and 45 seconds. Ho ho, that's perfectly all right. Call any time. Now young men, step over to my chronometer corner and have a seat. Yes, sir. Yipe! Noon time around here is more fun than before the dry. I'm almost scared the nightlight's out of me, sir. Cool. Yes, yes, I wish you could have seen your face. Your eyes bugged out like a stepped on toady frog. That's part of my trouble, sir. I'm too afraid. Afraid, eh? Glad to see you're a young man who comes right to the point. No needless waste of time. Valuable stuff, time. Save all you can, my boy. It's hard to make. In fact, I'm about the only guy in the world that can really make time. Yes, sir, so I've heard. Now, about your problem. What do you mean you're always afraid? What are you afraid of? Oh, almost anything, sir. Why, not more than a couple of hours ago, I was so afraid of a little wisp of a girl that I... Really, sir, I don't think it's funny. I'm sorry, I think I understand. Get on with your story. Well, sir, Princess Anne no sooner spoke to me than I... You became so shaky you couldn't speak. Couldn't think of a thing to say and your heart was pounding so loud everyone could hear it. Or at least you thought they could. Hey, that's right, but how did you know? Well, you see, son, I know Princess Anne. Fine sweet child. But she has that effect on a lot of young men. You weren't afraid. You just fell in love. In love? Me? Well, first time it's ever happened to you, isn't it? One of the best things in the world, love. You're a lucky lad to fall for such a fine girl. Wonderful girl. Very punctual, too. Yes, you ought to be pretty happy. But, sir, I acted so foolishly I'll probably never see her again. Nonsense. You seem like a nice enough chap. There's no reason why I shouldn't help you. Have to handle it with delicacy, though. What do you mean, sir? Oh, it's best not to let a girl like that know right off the bat that you're sweet on her. Got to make the next meeting seem accidental. Yeah, I guess you're right. But every year, Princess Anne is queen at the Watchmaker's Ball. It's coming off next week. And every year, I either go myself or send a personal representative. You mean me? Oh, that's right. As my representative, you automatically will be Princess Anne's escort for the entire evening. You think that'll turn the trick? Oh, I can never thank you enough, sir. Gosh, the very idea gives me goose pimples. I think I'd be too afraid. You? Yes, sir. Then be brave. After all, you have a pretty good reputation for killing swanks and rhinoceros dragons. If you can do that, why, certainly... Well, that's just it, sir. I've killed them, sure, but never unless someone needed rescuing. And I'm always so afraid when I do it that I tremble till I'm almost sick and my heart beats so loud it would wake the dead. Prince Daryl says he's never been afraid in his whole life. And that's what I want to be. Oh, sir, William, don't you know that only the fearful can be brave? There wouldn't be any goodness in a man who wasn't afraid. You see, it's being afraid of doing a thing and doing it anyhow that makes you brave. You have courage, and you're as brave as an X-Men. In fact, braver than most. You're afraid, and you admit it. You have courage to face the truth, and believe me, that can sometimes be harder to face than an army of the meanest creatures on earth. You mean I'm supposed to be afraid of doing things like fighting swanks and rhinoceros dragons? That's it, son. To do brave deeds, we must first be afraid of doing them. I never thought of that. As long as you're willing to risk your life for your friends or anyone that needs your help, you'll be all right. No matter how you tremble. By the time, I don't know how to thank you. Don't try. I've been around this old world a lot longer than you have, and I know that most people are inclined to overlook the obvious. Now, you drop around the, ooh, next Tuesday night in your best Sunday armor, and I'll fix you up with my white charger and send you off to the Watchmaker's Ball. Oh, as well. For Sir William, Tuesday night seemed long and coming, but it finally came as Tuesday night always comes. In fact, some say that it came earlier that week than usual. No one could ever quite figure out what happened to Monday afternoon, but then perhaps Father Time, too, was a bit over-anxious. Sir William and Princess Anne were the close to the ball, although it seemed to most of the people present that Sir William had a very difficult time getting warm. He was trembling so, but everyone was having so much fun that they didn't give it a second thought. When the ball was over, Sir William took the beautiful Princess home on the wonderful white charger Father Time had been kind enough to lend it. I've never had such a wonderful time at the Watchmaker's Ball. It's usually kind of boring. I had a wonderful time, too. Sir William, you're trembling. You really should wear a sweater under your armor. No, it's all right. I'm not really cold. This looks like Father Time's horse, Sundial. But of course, he wouldn't lend Sundial to anyone. At least I don't think he would. He wouldn't? I don't think so. There's quite a legend connected with old Sundial. It's said that he's as old as Time himself and that any two people who ride him at the same time are bound to fall in love. Really? That's what Father Time claims. When he escorted me last year, I didn't want to take any chances. Princess Anne. Yes? There's something I've wanted to ask you. Yes? What is it, Sir William? I'm just a knight and don't make very much. I work on the night shift. Will you marry me? Why, yes, I'll be glad to. Oh, Princess. One month from that day they were married and never were their two happier people. From that day on, Sir William performed more deeds of bravery than all the rest of the knights in the kingdom put together. Never again did anyone hear Sir William say anything about not being brave. And now and then, when they'd hear his armor clattering as he shook with fear from deep in the forest, the townspeople would say to themselves, that's our gallant Sir William about to go into battle. And Princess Anne never told her beloved husband that Father Time's horse was not really named Sundial. It was just an old swank named Max. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Fred Allen. There are many types of entertainment on the air today, all planned to bring happy moments to your home and your family. We of the entertainment world are interested, deeply interested, in your family. And that is why we appear on family theater, because we know that family theater not only brings good entertainment to your home, and we hope a bit of happiness, but because we know too that it does something more. Family theater makes you aware that there is for all of us a powerful force to bring true lasting happiness to our homes. That force is prayer, family prayer. And that is why we repeat each week the family that prays together stays together. More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of. Others in our cast were Howard McNear, J. Novello, Barbara Eiler, Charlotte Lawrence, Irene Tedrow, and Ken Christie. William the Terrified was written by Robert O'Sullivan, with music composed and conducted by Henry Mancini, and was directed for family theater by Jaime Del Valle. This series of family theater broadcasts is made possible by the thousands of you who felt the need for this type of program, by the mutual network which has responded to this need, and by the hundreds of stars of stage, screen and radio who have so unselfishly given a bare time and talent to appear on the family theater stage. To them and to you, our humble thanks. This is Gene Baker inviting you to join us next week at this time when family theater will present Dan Durrier and Robert Alder in Robert Louis Stevenson's Lodging for the Night. Join us, won't you? Family theater is heard in Canada through the facilities of the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, and is broadcast to our troops overseas by the Armed Forces Radio Service. The world's largest network, the Mutual Broadcasting System.