 I'm the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man and I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honey yes boys and girls it's comic weekly time and here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness right out of the pages of Puck the comic weekly straight into your living room your friend the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man hello a little miss honey how are you today I'm just fine I'm just fine too thank you my turn for what you're trying to read in the funny so I'll tell you a joke by telling you a joke very well what is it well this old lady walk into this hotel see yes and this old lady walks up this clerk see yes and this old lady says to the clerk very very good every Saturday night my bath it's a very good joke Puck the comic weekly very well I'll read that in just a moment but before I do let's listen to this nice man now here we go with Puck the comic weekly and on the first page under bringing up father Beatle Bailey very well my lady toot me a toot and tweet me a tweedle squeeze out music for Bailey the beetle at the army camp where Beatle is stationed we're in the kitchen the captain is telling the cook a cookie I got a tip the general is coming to eat dinner with us and expect our mess hall thanks I'll cook a special receipt and five minutes later the cook is carrying a kettle of stew to the stove this will be a work of art first the little dash of salt then in the door comes Beatle Bailey hey here's the salt you want a cookie Beatle trips over a pig and he drops the sack of salt into the stew look what you're done when he's only salt cookie and only five pounds the cook sets down his kettle picks up a box of soap chips last picture top row throws it at Beatle the soap hits Beatle bounces off him into the stew look what you're dead first picture bottom row the captain and the general walk in watch it captain sorry sir this visit is a nice prize general the captain leaves the general over to the table sorry sir cookie give the general a dish of your stew but captain come come cookie let's see what you're feeding the man if you'd desist general I do desist insist the cook ladles out the dish full of stew and sets it in front of the general the general takes a taste wonderful I must have this recipe whereupon the captain turns to the cook write it up for him but captain write it every step just as you did it every step yes cookie every step I want my wife to try it tonight last picture the generals at home in his kitchen and is reading the recipe to his wife who is following the directions after you trip and spill the salt he'll drop in a box of soap chips yes dear soap chips and that's an order that's some recipe why the poor wife her knees will be all covered with bruises yes you'll have to do her cooking with pills on her knees well Beatle Bailey is funny so anything that we learn from Beatle Bailey has to be funny well now let's turn over the page and go past little iodine and Prince valiant and turn over page 3 and here on page 4 is Walt Disney's the sword in the road oh yes and I'm anxious to see what's going to happen because you remember this is in the early days of England and child's band and has rescued the princess Mary who's the woman he loves from that mean Duke of Buckingham who's the man yes but the Duke of Buckingham has pursued them and just as Charles Brandon and his friends Sir Edwin Caskadan had put Mary in a boat to row her out to a ship the Duke galloped up on his horse and rode into the water when attacked Charles Brandon and Charles Brandon is in the water way up to his waist and the Duke and hit him in the back with his sword I wonder what'll happen will Charles Brandon be killed let's read now and find out here we go with the sword in the road it's Mary Mary England when knighthood was in flower music to be witch our story our Brandon falls face forward into the water quickly Buckingham dismounts to finish Brandon off but Brandon is on his feet in a second sword in hand he faces the Duke Brandon parries the Duke's thrust and tries to work his way out of the water to shore where he'll have sure of footing last picture top rule he makes a sudden lunge and knocks the dagger out of Buckingham's left hand and then first picture bottom row the two men are on shore Brandon lunges at the Duke steadily he drives the Duke back against the rocks with the true skill of a born swordsman he presses the Duke harder and harder and then a quick thrust and his sword pierces Buckingham's right shoulder last picture Brandon stands over the wounded Duke and looks at him in contempt I cannot be so merciful as to finish you King Henry shall have that pleasure yes he certainly knows how to handle that sort yes just like that maybe we'll find that out next week but now let's look across the page there's Roy Rogers yes he met his friend cube root who is quite an inventor that's right TNT an explosive so powerful that even a small amount of it can blow a building apart that's right and just as cube root was telling Roy about the explosive a masked man stepped into the door gun in hand and told cube to hand the explosive over to him well let's read now and find out here we go with Roy Rogers King of the Cowboys I yep I owe now here we go with Roy and trigger a yep I owe and stands directly under a metal pulley gun in hand I want some of that silent explosive that cube root invented quick but sir QT and T is my most valuable discovery I've only a small quantity of it made up I said I'm in a hurry now move yes sir yes sir Roy holding his hands up sees that his left hand is beside the rope that holds the pulley up to the ceiling come on move hurry it up quietly Roy loosens the rope I said hurry last picture top row of the pulley drops from the ceiling under the crooks head a second later Roy has the outlaws arms pinned behind you this gracious Roy how very clever of you first picture bottom row cube rips the handkerchief up the man's face was spaskum why Roy he purchased some of my catatonic last week that's when I told him about my noiseless explosive are you a faker six of my steers died from taking that stuff and I am to get even now our basket miss mistaken Roy my tonic is harmless and I'll prove it by drinking some hey now don't be foolish cube stop but it's too late cube is smaller the tonic great sky drank it suddenly cubes face turns white and he slowly sags to the floor a cube you Roy goes to help cube Bascom picks up the keg of explosive and dashes out the door last picture Roy whips out his guns and whirls around don't shoot you hit the explosive we'll be blown to bits yes and now Bascom is getting away with the TNT I wonder if Roy will let him get away with well maybe we'll find out about that next week but now let's turn over the page and see who's there yes and Wiley was there he met a strange hermit who seemed to be friend flash from the hermit's place flash could see a deserted city below the hermit warned him that there would be danger there but flash said he was going down to investigate anyway but as soon as flash left the hermit looked into the skies and said here well let's read now and find out here we go with flash Gordon a riga diga doon doon saskam attach let's set music for heroic plans flash approaches the strange city here's the mystery city quiet enough fact is no one in sight he moves toward the gate when suddenly what's that he sees no one there he calls I'm here on a peaceful mission you can come into the open flash advances last picture top row through the gate stops an amazement hey what's this walls coming up out of the ground first picture bottom row he spins around and makes a dash for the open gate and then this looks like last picture he turns to retreat but now escape is blocked completely a fourth wall then a ceiling slide into place and flash stands there helpless I'm trapped yes and he seemed to be so helpful to flash and now he's turned around and warned some mysterious person and look what's happened we'll find out about that next week but now it's time to pick up the second section of the comic weekly well I'll read that in just a moment but first here's that nice man again with something interesting to say now here we go again with putt the comic weekly and on the first page of the second section Dagwit and Blondie very well my lady I'm a food I'm a thumbs-up zombie conjure me music for Dagwit and Blondie down at the office Dagwood is busy working the office boy comes in hey Mr. Munster the boss just hung up a suggestion box on the hall and a few minutes later the whole office staff is standing around the suggestion box and Mr. Ditters makes a sweet little speech now I want everybody to feel free to offer any suggestions that might be helpful to this office everybody is working away at their jobs again and then the door to Dagwood's office open and out comes back with a slip of paper in his hands straight to the suggestion box he goes he drops a slip of paper into the suggestion box with a big smile on his face I'll be the very first to use it half hour later Dagwood is busy working at his desk suddenly a voice roars through his desk speaker come into my office Dagwood pops out of his chair and goes into Mr. Ditters office Mr. Ditters you sent for me yes Dagwood I did is this your suggestion that the office force be given two full summer months vacation like the school kids yes I'm Mr. Ditters that's mine last picture second row dithers leave for Dagwood first picture third row Dagwood tries to get up from the floor but Mr. Ditters knocks him down with a typewriter again Dagwood tries to get up and did this breaks the water cooler over him last picture third row only a gentle suggestion first picture bottom row dithers door opens and out sails Dagwood now Dagwood although I don't agree with your first suggestion I want you to feel free to offer others the door to Dagwood's office opens Dagwood is busy one eye is black his face is booed there are bumps on his head his shirt is torn to pieces he's aching all over he staggers to the suggestion box and drops in a letter then staggers back to his office closes the door and is seen no more ten minutes later Mr. Ditters is at the suggestion box he sees the note therein takes it out reads it suggestion is this suggesting that the suggestion box be removed yeah I'm afraid so looks like poor Dagwood's in for another storm so do I but I wouldn't guarantee he doesn't for a day good yes they certainly do well now let's turn over the page and go past Nuffie Smith and the lone ranger on page three turn over page three and here on page four of the second section is Dick's adventures and he's gone to the White House in Washington with his friend Samuel Morris yes that's right Samuel Morris has been commissioned to paint the president's portrait but Mr. Morris didn't want to do it because he didn't believe he could paint well enough but they told him they should go ahead and so he did I wonder if it turns out to be a good portrait well let's read now and find out here we go with Dick's adventures say the magic words with me let's have music for adventurous dick weeks go by and finally Morris finishes the portrait of president Monroe the time comes when it is shown to everyone last picture top row Morris unveils it everyone in Washington hails it as a masterpiece but one old hangry man looks at it and says I disagree this is no masterpiece first picture second row the old man speaks up I'm general John Trumbull sir you know my portraits of Washington Hamilton the Duke of Wellington John Jay and many others I have a right to tell you young man that you'd make a better cobbler than an artist quietly Morris not but Dick sees the black despair in his eyes suddenly Morris lunges for his picture he's not stop Mr. Morris hey what are you going to do I'm going to destroy it I'll smash it to pieces but you can't sir it's beautiful he now stops us up you have painted it let it stand first picture bottom row the prompt action of dick and John Trumbull saves the picture from destruction the others leave the room more stands quietly he says to dick artist long dick my pictures are no good I'll destroy them but I'll keep right on painting for the rest of my life but wait a minute Mr. Morris wait a minute you've got to invent the telegraph you've got to invent the last picture dick sits up in his bed he sees is in his own room in the world today and he says oh gosh I guess I was dreaming president it wasn't nice of him to say was no good I agree with you and he certainly shouldn't have said it in front of all those people I'm glad that they stop Mr. Morris from destroying it Mr. Morris has to invent the telegraph I'll maybe we'll find out more about that next week and I'll look below Dick's adventures there's Rusty Riley and I'm anxious to read that because you remember there was a theater coming near the milestone farm that's right and one of the actors in the company stole a very expensive string of pearls from a wealthy girl who was acting in the show and when he stole the pearls he was dressed up in Rusty's coat and cap and so some of the people have told the detective that Rusty was the thief and after interviewing Rusty the detective feels sure that Rusty is innocent and he's gone to the home of the wealthy girl and she didn't want to have Rusty arrested but her mother does I wonder what will happen let's read now and find out here we go with Rusty Riley gallop and run till the road is dusty give us music for his horse and Rusty at Tweety's home the girl is saying to her mother mother think what you're doing having that boy Rusty arrested why it could ruin his whole life stuff and nonsense Tweety he's just a young gangster I never approved of Quentin Miles taking him from the orphanage the detective stands up half in hand I have to admit the circumstance of evidence is pretty strong against him ma'am but well I'll have another talk with him meanwhile at the milestone farm in the barn Rusty walks into the tack room and Tex looks up and says hey what's wrong Rusty you look as worried as a new bright bacon biscuits oh golly Tex I'm in a terrible lot of trouble I think I'm gonna be arrested last picture top row Tex stands up and grins and arrested what did you do rob a bank or hold up a mail train it's no joke Tex the police think I stole a pearl necklace from the lady at the theater first picture Rusty tells Tex the whole story you see Tex Mr. Baker the detective he says that an electrician in a stagehand saw me outside in his castle's dressing room just after four o'clock but gee I was on my way home with dawn at that time only I can't prove it now now now don't let it get you down partner the truth is a mighty powerful thing to heaven your side I reckon I'll move you over to that theater and ask a question or two I wish you take this costume back Tex I won't be using it now and and please bring back my jacket and my cap and pants and a short time later at the playhouse Tex is finishing a conversation with Mr. Fidgley the director of the company oh yes Mr. Purdy I saw Rusty start from home of the horse about 3 30 of course he could have come back well thanks very much Mr. Fidgley I'll get his things you say they're in Mr. Grant's dressing room yes right down there that door there thanks very kindly sir Tex goes into the dressing room he sees Rusty's jacket hanging up on the wall well I'll be a lock beer jack rabbit a coat hanger you know all the time I've been at milestone form I never seen Rusty put that jacket he isn't on a coat hanger last picture in a tavern in the town two men are talking it's shorty who has just handed the pearls to the gangster this morning squashed me with Nick these pearls are worth at least three or four grand in a legit sale shorty but these here oyster eggs is hot we got a deal with a fence so am I because already Texas discovered an interesting clue that Rusty never hangs his jacket on a hanger well that's something we'll have to wait until next week to find out but now look across the page there's Donald Duck yes we will read your favorite favorite right now here we go with Donald Duck say the magic words with me squeegee jump squeegee jump squeegee let's have music to fit a clock it's early in the morning and the alarm clock goes off and a half hour later Donald goes in to wake up the boys he looks at the bed and sees Huey Louie and the dog and Huey he reaches over pulls out the dog drops him on the floor scrum pooch I told you boys a dozen times don't let that howl sleep with you when I could Donald he likes a nice bed half hour later Donald is heading for the shopping district last picture top row oh little guy soft on it first picture bottom row Donald is standing in front of a pet shop he sees a beautiful dog bed in the window and a price tag which reads deluxe dog bed only $30 and 15 minutes later Donald pulls up in front of his house again he lifts out the deluxe dog bed after no kids and dogs you can solve any problem and five minutes later he's showing the deluxe dog bed to the boys well how do you like it boys cool absolutely cool and that night last picture just before Donald goes to bed he stops in the boys room to see if they sound asleep and there in the dog's bed are Dewey Louie and Huey and in the boys bed lies the dog dreaming of dog biscuits and Donald goes well he solved this problem but it didn't work out the way he thought this one turned out backwards so do I well now that's all the time I have but before I go here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information well honey and all your boys and girls I've got to go now okay that's a date and a date with all your boys and girls be sure to meet me with our little friend miss honey next week when I read pop the comic weekly for I'm the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honey don't forget boys and girls see you all next week your friend the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man