 A clip on your nerve, it's only money. He has a degree from the School of Experience, and he's done postgraduate work at Lysney College. To win an advanced degree as an expert chiseler, or I'm confident that it's right, it's not worth trying. We're going to touch another dishonest dollar. You think I don't mean it? These different race horses under eight-pictures were running in a circle to make sure the right horse won, then went out and placed my bet. Well, naturally, I could only work it for a while, but I planned to make one big clean up and quit. My partner was Figures Freddy, a big numbskull who couldn't read or write, but could add up figures in his head like an adding machine. We were sitting in my apartment listening to the racing results. They're coming into the fix now. Shut it off, Figures. I don't have any dollars on this place. Well, just show me if you say so. Thanks, Billy. What's our bankroll now, Figures? Let me think. Oh, yeah, $25,920.48. Is that all? Yeah. Well, I thought we had 50 grand in a kick. Well, expenses have been heavy. The horse to feed eight horses. Not to mention in-pre-feeds. Why, hey, alone, since you've got me the details. Yeah, sure, Charlie. Figures, I'm getting uneasy. Somebody's gonna tumble to our setup soon. That's what I've been telling you. Well, shoot the works. One big killing and quit. What time next setup? Tomorrow, the 5th at Sandy Park. Five horses running, all off. Okay, I remember we got surprise in it, huh? Yeah. Saving him for the right spot. What odds do you think you'll bring? Oh, 15 to 1, easy. And the bankroll goes on surprise tomorrow. Yeah, but who takes such a big bet? odds on Harry and his syndicate can handle it. We played him careful, won only a little, now we can make him good. Oh, Harry is a real tough cookie. If you well shine him or he catches you being crooked, he just will drop you off the top of a building, is not? He won't catch us. We'll clean up good and clear out. Dropped up the odds on Harry's private bookie office the next afternoon. Well, Charlie, how's the boy? Dropping for business or just to cut up touches? Uh, a little business, Harry. I thought I might make it better, too. You know, just pass the time. Got your eye on anything special? Well, figures here has been doing some handicapping for me. Thanks to 5th at Sandy Downs, looks good. The 5th. Well, let's see who's in it. Summer Rolls, 2nd Cousin, April Morn, Firecracker and Surprise. Firecracker's a favorite. I can give you two to one on him. Oh, now, Harry, you know me. I always like a long shot. I was thinking of, uh, Surprise. Surprise, eh? You're kidding. No, Harry's surprise ain't a bad horse. He just had hard luck. He's new. So that was my run. All right. Here's my chance to win my dough back. I was gonna set a one grand top on you, Charlie, but if you want a bet on Surprise, there's no limit. No, Harry, you tempt me. Might go the whole work. Anything up to 50 grand, Charlie, and no more of that. Eh, I've only got 25 Gs in cash. I might go for 50 if you take my check for the deficit. Why not? 50,000 on Surprise, no fair. But I can't give you any track odds. Then the one is the best I can give you. How? Only money. I'll take it. Gee, that'll mean us. 500 grand payoffs. If he wins, figures. If he wins. Oh, sure, sure. If. Surprise hasn't got a chance. Still, I better lay off part of that bet. Excuse me while I get on a phone and arrange it. Harry went off to make arrangements to place part of the bet and figures, and I just looked at each other and sat tight. 500,000 dollars. This was it. This was a big jackpot. I've been working toward all my life. The more I thought about it, the better I felt. And when the race started, I felt even better yet. Surprise started and front me stayed there all according to my orders. They're rounding the final term. It's still Surprise. They throw more on summer roads, second cousin and firecracker in that order. Surprise is still linked in front and falling away, which is a real surprise because he hasn't won a race all season. Now they're in a state to surprise. Wait a minute. Surprise is in trouble. It's like rainbows. The jacket can't control him. Surprise is pulling your eyes. He's angrily across the track in front of April Morn. That may get him disqualified even if he does win. No. Now April Morn's got around him. April Morn is almost to the wire. She's over. Summer roads, second firecracker third, second cousin, four of them. Surprise who hasn't raced all wrapped up has stopped. The jacket's getting off. Gosh, Charlie. He didn't win. Oh, he... He didn't, did he? I told you he didn't have a chance. Well, as you always say, Charlie, that's only money. Yeah, that's right. Only money. You want to settle up now? Or are you going to bet on the six? No, no, no. That's enough for today, Harry. Now here's a 25 grand to have on me. I'll give you a check for the other 25. You do that, Charlie. The check will be good, won't it? Good. Oh, sure, sure. Hey, well, what's funny, Harry? You two wise guys. You're funny. What do you mean? You and your eight different stables, Charlie. What an idea. You mean you know about that? I just found out a couple of days ago. Oh, it was kind of clever in a way. But you see, Charlie, you went at it wrong. What do you mean, Harry? Charlie bought the horses. But I bought the jacket. I figure you two would be aiming for that race. And I guess it would be a surprise you set up the win. As soon as you made the bet, I got on the phone and... Oh, do I need the blueprint for the operation? But, Harry, that ain't honest. It's not, no. I'll take that check, Charlie. And if it bounces, so will you from a 20th floor window. How do you like that? John Harry had played me for a second. Me, Charlie Ruffing, honored graduate from the School of Experience. Later figures in me were on a plane heading out over the deep blue ocean. Hey, Charlie, there ain't nothing under us but water. I never knew there was so much water. Well, now you know. How far... Oh, yeah, what is it? Why? I thought it was obvious. We gave Ard's on Harry a bad check for 25 grand, didn't we? Yeah, I guess we did. And what'll he do when it bounces? Well, he'll come looking for us. And he won't be feeling friendly. No, buy tickets for Paris fans. Always heard it's cheap to live there. And it's a long ways away from Ard's on Harry. We bag of a hotel. And I sink and sink and sink. He's up a pal, he's met some place. Well, figures never worries. He can't read, so the news and the papers don't bother him. And he has some brains enough to worry on his own account. Stop three-stop business. I'll tell a man apart, sir. Have a drink. A guy selling another bottle of wine. Well, what's your racket, Count? I don't. How do you make a living? He's an inventor, Charlie. Oh, an inventor? Any money in it? No. Oh, here's your wine. We shall have a drink. He's an inventor. You better know what, Charlie. He's invented a machine for making money. What kind of money? Any kind of money, my friend. French, English, American? Well, then why aren't you rich? I dare not use my own invention. I am, I must confess, too timid. I'm afraid of the police. But I live in hopes of meeting someone who will know how to cash out, as you say in America. Well, Count, you're beginning to interest me. I suspect you're trying to work a racket on me. But just the same, I'll take a gander at this money-making machine of yours. He called himself a phony. But I didn't have anything better to do, so I let him leave me in figures for a room about as big as a mousetrap, a camera, only with three lenses instead of one. I call it the photographic duplicator. It will duplicate anything printed or engraved, even the money. Especially money. Hey, show Charlie those French bills you turned out, Count. Yes, in my pocket. You see, Mr. Charlie? Thousand francs now. They look good. They look very good. Yes. Can you spend them? But yes. Except I am so timid, I'm afraid of the police. I am afraid to enlist aid from Les Apaches. It's our French gangster. So? I have this, this wonderful invention that I don't even know what to do with it. Now, now, don't start weeping. You said something about American money. Let's say you make me some. Exactly, exactly. But I need an American bill to stop it. I knew there was a catch in it, the old money switch. Come on, figures, let's get out of here. No, no, wait a second, Charlie. The Count is on the level. All he needs is a $1 bill. You see, that's to get the right paper. Then he needs a 10 to photograph, and that's all. And you get the 10 by how bad I do. Come on, come on, we got business elsewhere. I do not blame you, Mr.... Do I look like a great inventor? No. Hey, Ma, you see it. A mess. Hey, you're not a guy. I'm part French, part Swiss, part Belhen, part phony. Now, I'll put up the dough, Charlie. You just watch. Okay, Count, now here's a one and a 10. Do your stuff. He dipped it in a tank, sloshed it around a bit, and it came out snow white. Just blank paper. Now he's got genuine paper to work with. You see, Charlie? Okay, Count, turn it into a 10. He'll make the count with a 10-buck bill and put it inside his funny camera. And then he dipped the blank paper that had been a one into a green solution. And then he put it inside the camera, too. Turned on a bright light for about five seconds and took it out again. It was still blank. Sure it's still blank. Charlie, it's got to be developed, you know, like a photograph. Go ahead. Now the Count dipped the blank bill into a red solution. He sloshed it around. Gradually it started to darken. It became light green and then dark green. Then he took it out and handed it to me with a 10-buck bill. So good even a tax collector would have accepted it. You see, Charlie, he's my 10-buck bill and he's the... It's exactly the same, even the serial number. Maybe you've got something here. Sure, we got two 10-dollar bills where we only had one. And the extra one is genuine, too, Charlie. That's the first genuine counterfeit ever made. You see, Mr. Charlie, it's a great invention, yes? Count, this is the greatest invention since the paramutal machine. And million figures are the boys to work it. I've been figuring. Anything bigger than a hundred is hard to pass. Anything smaller takes too long to add up the big dough. That's right. So we should concentrate on hundreds. Now, a million bucks is a nice round thing. So round, so firm, so fully packed. Yeah, well, it takes 10,000 hundreds to make a million. Now, to get the right paper for 10,000 bills, we've got to start with 10,000 singles. The count bleaches them white. You photograph hundreds on the paper, and we've got a million dollars in genuine counterfeit dough. Oh, keep the talk. And I love to hear big figures like that. Yeah, but where are we going to get the 10,000 singles? Well, we're not that small, I'd say. A couple of grain at a time. Oh, and now, Charlie, I ain't so bright. I don't know how to read, but I do know something. And one is that Count is a scared pigeon. He's the nervous kind, you see? And we've got to pull one big deal, and we've got to pull it fast. Yeah, you're right. OK, we'll get busy tomorrow. When there's a deal to be pulled, I work fast. The next day, I took my last 200 bucks to America Express and got singles for them. And then me and Figures called on Count Alessandro again. My pal Charlie is ready to work with you. Count, how fast can you turn out the dough? Better make sure I am not positive. I wish to continue this affair. During the night, I begin thinking, but if we are caught, the prison is not a nice place. No, we won't be caught. All you have to do is bleach one dollar bills and turn them into 100. I have 200 singles here. First, we'll turn them all into 10s, you know, like we did last night. That'll give us 2,000 bucks. We'll exchange that for singles, 2,000 up, and we're off to the races. All right, come on, start the machinery, Count. Let's get going. We'll dedicate the, uh, Charlie roughing private mitts. As fast as we could. It took a week to turn those singles into 10s with a Count photographic duplicator. And then I had to exchange those 10s for more singles. But that was trickier. A sudden thought of American money in Paris might make somebody suspicious. So Figures and I went about it real carefully. We're just about finished before an eagle-eyed cashier that American Express Dottie recognized me. I ducked out before they could be sure, but I knew the situation was serious. What do you mean, we've got to stay hold up here, Charlie? I did not like it if the police say they may suspect something. Nobody suspects anything yet. But we've got to play it close to our best. In other words, these 2,000 singles are all we dare get together. But that'll only give us 200 grand. Oh, my. Get me back to the good old USA with $200,000 in the Count's formulas. And in a year, I'll own the joint. I'll teach the 2,000 singles in the clean white paper. Then we ran into an obstacle. Monsieur, I got to say it. We have not provided a $100 bill for me to photograph. Hey, that's right. What do we do, Charlie? Well, we just got one, that's all. Yeah, but we got no cash left. We bleached it all white. For Pete's sake. Why, you stupid... I'll recall. We have still in the camera the $10 bill from the last operation. Well, that's better. Make up about $510, see? That's for expenses and passage money. Once we start making $100, we're not gonna develop any up. They're going to the States with us as clean white paper, photographic paper, see? All right, that way we don't run any risks. And anybody who searches our baggage only finds black paper. We'll tip the stuff in account solution back in New York when we're safe. Oh, sure. That's smart, Charlie. All right, now you two get busy. When you got the pens made, go buy a $100 bill someplace. Don't go to a bank. Maybe be alerted or something. Hey, look, there must be a money chain to join handy. I know one very young scrupulous, but they never ask questions and then go to him. I figure as you go along, see the cop doesn't get jipped. Yeah. All right, now get going and let me get a little shut-eye. Well, yeah, I'm just dead on my feet. He's not the only ruffians prize that Mint was going full blast. While I was asleep the counter made up 50 tens, he and Figures had bought a $100 bill and it was in the camera with a blank paper being photographed at the rate of one a minute. Ho-ho, 100 bucks a minute. That was the kind of money I'd been aiming for all my life. Well, it took about a week to finish up the job with me and Figures packing the white paper into a truck. customs inspector looked at it it was perfectly innocent but when we got back to my apartment in New York dipped it in account solutions it would become 200 grand in money so good it couldn't be told from the original figures wanted to develop a few of the hundreds for spending money but I wouldn't let him touch one of them I wasn't risking any last-minute slip up you know a raid well we wrapped up the deal left the count ten of the blank hundred for his cut and we took off by plane with all that wonderful paper and several jugs of developers the next afternoon we were safely back in my New York apartment getting down to business okay figures for the jugger developer in the face right shall we open up this package of paper and we will develop a little that must be the boys in the delicacy with the club I ordered I'll get it just bring it in a week you and a couple of my boys come on in boys we want to keep this price on a wait-wait having I just got back from Europe I swung a big deal I got all the I owe you and more to for your sake I hope that's true also I got a deal on it I want to cut you in on it but I'd like to talk about it in private can't be a boy's wait outside while we talk all right Charlie for a couple of minutes away here boys come fast if I call not just what is this deal you mentioned Charlie I'll give you two minutes to outline it I can outline it in one minute I would you like a half interest in the United States met fly back to Europe and bring Count Alessandro and his apparatus here Harry and his syndicate would arrange for the distribution yeah we could easily push 10 billion a year of our special genuine counterfeit yeah that appeal to it sounds good Charlie if true Harry we can demonstrate right on the spot we've got the paper we've got the developer thank you yeah Charlie develop a hundred buck bill for Harry you Charlie now our first hundred Harry we'll frame it for a silver day huh how's it coming thank you it's turning green there you see Charlie Harry hey I'll be a horses uncle thank you I can see the figures in the corner a hundred that a couple of seconds and we'll be ready and then I'll thrive do you see Harry what a big thing this is yeah we can develop an international syndicate England France what's it look Sweden here I will load everything in sight before we finish okay it's all done here it is Harry and that sure does look pretty doesn't it I'll feel it all right let's just who are you two timings you double crossing what kind of a gag is there something for a faggot yeah it's you too I'll make you so sorry catch him yeah I got him I want him gently yeah that's it that's it now let me see that hundred dollar bill oh but I love the mud watch Charlie cover let's go finish down the fire escape we put it down that fire look figures look at this hundred dollar bill read what it says well I can't read Charlie you know that I I can read the numbers though one hundred is not the wrong is yeah yeah yeah but the writing says bank of Richmond one hundred dollars Confederate States of America yeah I thought it's the United it is the United States but the Confederate States existed only during the war between the states oh look at money changer in Paris pawned it off on you and account because neither of you could read English it's an old Confederate bell we have we've just counterfeited two hundred thousand dollars and worth with Confederate money and stuck in Mexico City but I got a big deal aren't they I just bought an old map showing what two million dollars an Aztec treasure and if you want to go in with me and you got ten thousand dollars for expenses it's a deal we'll clean up yet and you don't have to worry about me cheating out of your share I'm taking a resolution for 1952 Charlie Ruffin isn't taking any more dishonest money Confederate money that is you can follow other tense and suspenseful adventures of the mysterious travelers in the current issue of the mysterious traveler magazine now available in our cast with Chuck Webster William Zuckert and Albert Ottenheimer with Maurice Tarpon starred in the title role original music under the direction of Emerson Buckley composed by Richard U Page they'll talk and speaking this program came to you from New York stay tuned to Mutual every weekday evening and join me I love a mystery listener you're sure to love I love a mystery this is the Mutual Broadcasting System