 brought to you by Pamalec soap and Colgate Dental Cream. Pamalec soap, your beauty hope and Colgate Dental Cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth. The Dennis Day Show with Barbara Eiler, V. Benadera, Dink Trout, George Dunning in the orchestra and yours truly Vern Smith is written by Frank Galen and stars our popular young singer in A Day in the Life of Dennis Day. Here's Dennis to sing Love Somebody. Love somebody, yes I do. Love somebody, yes I do. Love somebody, yes I do. Love somebody, but I won't say who. I get feeling warm and gay when she sends her smile my way. I would marry her today but who she is? Love somebody, yes I do. Love somebody, yes I do. Love somebody, Yes I do. Love somebody, but I won't say who. You'll know I will. Love somebody, yes I do. Love somebody, yes I do. Love somebody, but I won't. I won't say who. Here is a very important announcement. Palm Olive Soap is giving away prizes worth $67,000. A grand prize of $25,000 in one lump sum or $100 a month for life. And that's not all. There are over 2,000 prizes in Palm Olive's Big Treasure Chest Contest. Ford Sedans. Westinghouse Laundromat. From Silver Fox Carve. Toastmaster Toasters. And it's easy to enter. Complete the last line of this jingle. A fresher, brighter-looking skin is something I would like to win. I'll get Palm Olive soap today. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Write your last line on a plain sheet of paper or get an official entry blank from your dealer giving complete rules. Include your own and dealer's name and address. And mail with the big word, Palm Olive. From the front of the wrapper of one regular and one bath size cake of Palm Olive soap to Box 92, New York 8, New York. Now here's the jingle once more. A fresher, brighter-looking skin is something I would like to win. I'll get Palm Olive soap today. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Mail your entry to Palm Olive Box 92, New York 8, New York. Get Palm Olive soap for a lovelier complexion. Remember, doctors prove Palm Olive's beauty results. Well, tonight, excitement mounts at Fever Pitch in the little town of Weaverville, for tomorrow is the traditional football game between Weaverville High and their bitter and hated rivals Middletown Prep. Needless to say, every loyal Weaverville alumnus is praying for his team to win. For when one spends four years at a school, one becomes enormously attached to it. And our young hero, Dennis Day's feelings go even deeper than that, having been there for seven years. We find him now in the living room of the Anderson boarding house, where he's been telling his girlfriend, Mildred, of his past days of glory on the gridiron. Of course I don't say I was the best water boy we ever had, Mildred. Oh, no? No. As a matter of fact, they fired me after the first day. I guess it was because I took so long to bring them the water. You couldn't run fast enough? Oh, it wasn't that. I used to take it out a cup at a time. The regular bucket was too heavy for me. Well, maybe you weren't so strong, but I bet you were awfully cute when you were in high school. Oh, sure. Naturally. Well, I probably wouldn't have paid any attention to you if I'd known you. I thought I was madly in love with my French teacher. Did you ever have a crush on one of your teachers? Nah. Well, that's funny. I thought every kid got a crush on one of his teachers at school. Oh, not me. I was too mature. Besides, all my teachers were men. Might have had something to do with it. Gee, I wonder if my French teacher still remembers me. I'll bet mine remembers me. I took French for two years, and when I got finished, all I could say was CC. A football game like this certainly brings back memories, doesn't it? Yeah. Gosh, I sure hope we win it. I've never seen the town as excited about the game as they are this year. I know. That's all anyone talks about. Even mother and daddy can't think of anything but reading. Oh, hi, Daddy. Rock, rock, rock! Just boom-bop! Hear him in the belly with a trolley car! See, Poopsie and I are going down to the school to see the team off for Middletown. You kids care to join us? Oh, sure. I hear the coach is an old friend of yours, Mr. Anderson. Yes. Old Rocky was coaching the football team when I went to Weaverville. He was? Oh, that was football in those days. No passes and trick plays. It was bone against bone, muscle against muscle. Skulls cracked like celluloid. Why was lucky if I lasted through the first quarter? You mean you played on the team? No, just watching. I had a weak stomach. Steve Herbert. Why, mother, you're wearing your old Weaverville sweater with a W on it. Yes, and it still looks as good as the day I bought it, except that the W seems to have shrunk a little. No, I doubt it. Poopsie, the background's just gotten bigger, that's all. Maybe. After all, it was 28 years ago that I first wore this sweater. Well, 28 years ago. Gosh, it doesn't seem that long, does it? Well, not to me, naturally. I'm only 10 years older. Do you really think we'll beat Middletown this year, Mrs. Anderson? Well, of course we will. I've even bet $5 on it. $5? Oh, Poopsie, you shouldn't have. You know how badly I need new shoes. I could have taken that $5 and added it to the $5 I have under my handkerchiefs in the bottom drawer. Oh, now I've told you where it's hidden. Don't be silly. What $5 do you think I bet? Quite a crowd down to see the boys off, huh, Dennis? Where did Poopsie and Middletown disappear to? Oh, they're over at the bus talking to some of the boys on the team. Gosh, those football players sure are big guys, aren't they, though? Yes. I'm certainly glad I'm not that vulgar muscular type of man. Yeah, me too. I like my bones where I can see them. Now just look at the fuss Middletown and Poopsie are making over them. Impressed by a few biceps. Yeah, women are such primitive creatures. Certainly. What good are muscles anyway? All they do is put a strain on your skin. Muscles, blah. And also, blah. And likewise, poo. Done right. I might say the same thing if I had some. Oh, there's the coat. Hey, Rocky. Gosh, Mr. Anderson, I wonder why he's looking so sad. Hello, Herbie. Hi, Rocky. You remember this young fella, don't you? Huh? I used to be the water boy. Yeah, well, we've had so many water boys, you know. Oh, I was the one you said carried less water in his bucket than on his brain. Glad to see you again, Dave. Say, is anything wrong, Rocky? You seem kind of upset. Upset? I'm half crazy. Didn't you hear what happened? I just found out ten minutes ago that a spy from Middletown sneaked into our secret practice and stole every one of our plays. What? Yes, they've got all our plays and it's now too late to line up any new ones. We'll be slaughtered. Oh, my gosh, the rats. You said it. Of all the dirty, low-down, sneaking, unethical tricks to pull. But where were you at the time, Rocky? In Middletown on a roof across from their field with my telescope. Did you spot any of their plays? Not one. They chased me away the minute they saw me. Oh, dear. Oh, there you are, Herbert. I've been... Why, what's the conference? A Middletown spy stole all our plays, Mrs. Anderson. We're sunk. What? It's true, fairy flower. But they can't do this to us. Do you realize what's at stake? The glory and honor and pride of Weaverville High and my five bucks. Action, that's what we need. We'll send a spy up to Middletown to steal their plays. Well, if they caught him, they'd murder him and skin him alive. I couldn't order anyone to go on a mission like that. I've got two volunteers for you, Herbert and Dennis. Huh? Well, folksy, you just heard how dangerous it'd be. You might lose me. Herbert, Weaverville High gave you to me. Weaverville High has the right to take you away. It is our only chance. Now, look, they'll have a secret practice session before the game. All we gotta do is figure a way to get you two guys in. I have it. They can pose as doctors. Doctors? It's perfect. Tell them you're there from the Board of Health to check on the players. I'll go home right now and clean out the medicine chest and throw it all into a little black bag. I'll meet you back here in ten minutes. Well, I guess it's for Weaverville, Rocky. Say, get me. See that I'm buried back at the chemistry lab. Will you, old man? That's where I spent my happiest hours in school. You're a brave man, huh? How about you, Dennis? Any last requests? You have buried me in the principal's office. Many's the time I wished I were dead there. Okay, fellas. I don't have to tell you what this means to the old school. Oh, I die for dear old Weaverville, Rocky. You know that. Shall we all sing our Alma Mater together? For what? Maybe the last time? Yeah, let's. Very well. Bow your heads, gentlemen, and face the east. Weaverville, love thee still. Me, too. If we can only make these Middletown coaches think that we're really doctors. Well, in case he wants proof, I brought along a pack of camels. Well, I hope it's enough. Look, look, there he is coming towards us. On your toes now, Dennis. Sorry, Gents, but this is a secret practice. Can't allow anybody on the field doing it. Well, just a second, my good man. We happen to be from the Board of Health. I'm Dr. Cronkite, and this is my colleague, Dr. Belchmerz. From the Board of Health? Yes, we're investigating football. A very unsanitary game from what we hear. Most unsanitary. Unsanitary? That's ridiculous. You can't argue with Fax Coach. A recent survey of the Harvard football team of 1839 showed that every one of those players are dead at the present time. Every one. Well, of course they're dead. And not only that, but at the end, they all showed exactly the same symptoms. Yes, extreme old age. Oh, now look here. I'm sure that you all agree there must be something basically wrong with a sport that takes fine young boys and turns them into old men within 70 years. Yes, this threat to public health cannot go unchallenged. We've got to find out what makes this game so unsanitary. Now, tell me, how many men are there on each side? Eleven, but please don't interrupt. How many footballs are used in the game? One. What? Twenty-two men all using the same football? Shocking. It's a disgrace. No wonder football teams go around with their eyeballs twitching, their hands shaking, their backfields in motion. Gosh, Doc, maybe you got something. I never thought about it before. Of course. Here, give one of these pills to every man on your team immediately. Yeah, well, what are they? They're new secret vitamin pills. Each pill contains as much nourishment as three dozen eggs, five quarts of milk, four T-bone steaks and an order of chopped liver with schmaltz. Well, sure, Doc, whatever you say. Thanks a lot. Dennis, what did you do that for? Look, he is giving the team the pills. Oh, they were only some aspirin tablets I found in the bag. But even so... Well, we had to get rid of them, didn't we? We want to write down those plays. Anyway, it made them less suspicious of us. Well, maybe. Say, that is a pretty nifty football team he's got, isn't it? Yeah, I'll say. Hey, look at that play they're running now. That's pretty cute. Well, don't you worry. I'm putting it right into my little black book here. Atta boy. Our boys look... Oh, my gosh, Dennis, look. One of the boys just got hurt on that last play. Yeah. Holy smoke, they bring them over here. Oh, I know. We're supposed to be doctors. Oh, my gosh, that's right. I wouldn't be in that kid's shoes for anything. We've got to keep up the bluffers. Here they come. Here's a patient for you, Doc. He was just hurting the scrimmage. And the scrimmage, huh? Mmm, bad. That's bad. That's right near the liver. It's nothing, Doc. I'm just a little shaken up. Oh, don't be too sure of that, my boy. We'd better play it safe and take a post mortem. A post mortem? Well, I think maybe the first thing to do is feel his pulse, Doctor. All right, Doctor. We'll work it out together. You find it and I'll feel it. And why bother? This man's ailment is quite clear. A appendicitis. Hey, but, Doc, I had my appendix out last year. Oh, well, what I meant was tonsillitis. I had my tonsillitis out the year before. Okay, you've had a heart attack. Let's see you get out of that one. How is he, Doc? Oh, he's very bad, Coach. This boy must have complete quiet. I want him to stay right where he is for 48 hours. 48 hours? But we've got a football game to play in this field at 2 o'clock. Well, in that case, one of the players is not to step on him. Complications might arise. Come, Dr. Welsh Merrills. We must be going. Coming, Dr. Cork height. I'll see you later, Coach. Okay, Mike. Get up and get back in there. Hey, but, Coach, the doctor just said... After my eye, those guys aren't doctors. There are a couple of spies from Weaverville trying to get a line on our plays. What? But they even gave us pills. Nothing but aspirin. I saw the bottle in their bag. I also saw a little book with one of our plays in it. And you're letting them get away with it? Don't be a dope. I tore out the play they hadn't filled up the book with phony ones. Now, every time they think they know what's coming, they'll get something else. We'll murder them, Mike. Ah, Coach, you're a genius. That game will be a massacre. And this operator, Weaverville 227. Oh, thank you. Hello, Poopsy. This is your lover boy, the Mata Hari of Weaverville. Sure, we just delivered a whole notebook full of their plays to Rocky. Yeah, I think your five dollars is safe, dear. Tell her to bet some more. Hock the furniture, everything. It's in the bag. Bet all you can get down, Poopsy. It's a cinch. Yeah. No, we're not staying for the game. Someone might get wise to us. And we'll be home on the next bus. Huh? Well, you're my big boofy baby doll, Smokey Wookiee, too. You wonderful boys. Why, Weaverville will run all over Middletown now. Yeah, thanks to us. We did a pretty brilliant job, didn't we, Dennis? Brilliant. Oh, shucks. There must be a stronger word than that. Oh, I agree with you. Sure. Who needs muscles? We may not have them, but we got brains. Mr. Anderson was so clever about writing down those plays in this book, I didn't even see him do it myself. Me? I didn't write those plays down. You did. No, I didn't. But you must have. Well, I ought to know I never left my side for an instant. But if you didn't write them, and I didn't write them, who did? Well, let's face the facts. There are only three of us anywhere near the bag, you, me, and the Middletown coach. Now, if it wasn't you and it wasn't me, it was, oh, what a disgusting face on this fact. Yes. Dennis, do you know what this means? Uh-huh. No muscles, no brains, nothing. Will someone please tell me what this is all about? We've been tricked, Mildred. That coach must have gotten lies and written the plays in our book himself while we were working on an injured player. Meanwhile, we reveal we'll get the worst beating in its history. Oh, I feel faint. Take my hand and lead me to the sofa. We'll have a pretty long walk. That was one of the things mother hocked to bed on the game. Oh, my gosh. Well, something's got to be done. She'll be down any minute to listen to the football scores on the radio. Oh, my soul and former body. Well, my two brave, wonderful heroes. Hello, Poopsie. Well, what are we waiting for? Jack Collins is on right now with his sports broadcast. Let's turn him on and get the good news. Oh, we can't hear him now. We've got to tune in the Green Hornet. Oh, yeah, yeah. We just must have to hear that. The Green Hornet? Why this sudden interest in the Green Hornet? In the last episode, a stinger was caught in the door and he was turning blue. I want to hear that score. There. No, I shan't be able to sleep a wink tonight with all this excitement. Excuse me, I'll be right back. Dennis, I can't believe it. Me either. Must be a dream. I thought I could stand the pain. I'd pinch myself. It's no dream, my boy. But what do you suppose happened to the Middletown team? We'll probably never know. I've forgotten my excitement. Where's the little black bag I gave you? It has all the medicine in it and I want a sleeping pill to calm my nerves. A sleeping pill? A sleeping pill, but there weren't any sleeping pills in the bag, Mrs. Anderson. Oh, yes, there were. I had them in an old aspirin bottle. An aspirin bottle? Yes. The mists are beginning to clear away. Gosh. So that's why they stuck. Gosh. What are you talking about? Oh, never mind. Mr. Anderson. Yes, Dennis? Shall we face the East? Yes, Dennis. Weaverville, aren't you glad they took that pill? 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For cleaning teeth, for flavor, for sweetening breath. So see if you don't agree with the millions who have made Colgate dental cream, America's favorite toothpaste. Try Colgate dental cream to bring out the natural sparkle and beauty of your teeth. For a wake-up flavor you'll thoroughly enjoy. And always use Colgate dental cream after you eat and before every date to clean your breath while you clean your teeth. With George Dunning in the orchestra, here's Dennis to sing Blue Bird of Happiness. A day show brought to you by Plum Oleg Soap, your beauty hope, and Colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth. For soft, gleaming, glamorous hair, try Luster Cream Shampoo. Not a soap, not a liquid, but a dainty new cream shampoo. In tubes or jars, whichever you prefer. Be a lovely Luster Cream Girl. Dream girl, dream girl, beautiful Luster Cream Girl. You owe your crowning glory to a Luster Cream Shampoo. Listen again next week to Colgate's Hour of Fun, Judy Canova, followed by Dennis Day. And for another great comedy program here, Blonde Day next Wednesday evening over your favorite NBC station. This month, your city's community chest is making its annual appeal for funds to meet the urgent needs of your community's vital health and welfare services. The community chest is many campaigns in one. Were it not for your community chest, as many as 35 separate appeals would have to be made. The need for health, welfare, and recreation services is greater than ever before, and operating costs have gone up. In addition, USO is being restored for our armed forces, and your community chest has been asked by Secretary of Defense James Forrestall to help raise funds for it. So open your heart and your purse. When a community chest representative calls, give, and give generously. Vern Smith speaking. Good night. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.