 Welcome to the heavy report my dear sacred siblings Today on the show Nothing new to talk about just checking in I I'm using this weird tool to get high today. It is very strange. It is like a day And it's got a bunch of fucking like juice of weed in it Oh de weed if you will I will What up Wayne? How you doing buddy? Welcome to the show Welcome to the show way and how have you been since uh last we checked in? What you must have been You know Yesterday when we did the show or the day before maybe Glass of water not a sponsor of the show glass of water not a sponsor of the show What's up Mike Anderson? Welcome to the show don't drink a glass of water just because you saw somebody On the glow box do it you should do it if you want to you know, but I'm not trying to advertise to you I'm glad you've been groovy man. You deserve to be doing groovy Wayne. Good for you Todd. How are you doing? Beautifully I hope Isn't this a weird futuristic device. I like it. I went to the weed store today Because somebody gifted me a couple bucks and said I could only spend it on weed and I I trust my audience So I decided to go to the weed store and while I was there they said they were out of the thing I was looking for which was uh a ton of weed and um They said come back in an hour or two and and we'll have it put together for you said great great So I left and went to a different place because capitalism And um walked into that joint and they were like hey, we uh, we have flowers that you like to smoke We know you love flowers and it's like I do love flowers. They seem to already know about me One of them uh seems to enjoy the show this very show about nothing Right just get high they should sponsor this show if they wanted to I'd just been singing the praises right now I suppose um But uh, they were like we also have these this magic wand That you can point at your brain and I said ooh I Think that sounds great. So abracadabra motherfuckers. What up pierre? How you doing dawg? One of the grooviest drummers on the front range My main man pierre we played together a lot We uh, we used to do uh Almost every week for a while together at uh open mics All over the goddamn front range mostly at grossenbart and sky brewing sky brewing no longer exists But I don't think it's a reflection on how the open mic was doing The open mic was doing okay, I guess We missed that brewery god, I love those guys I love those owners of that place, but also just like I just love that fucking spot. I loved hanging out drinking beers in this pot miss him pierre and I did a lot of gigging over at grossenbart brewing after that and uh I love doing that too, man I don't know pierre. I'm glad you're doing very well, sir. I'm glad you caught me happy 420. It must almost be Oh One day. Ah, sometimes I wear a watch to this show and other times I just Am lucky I have pants on and do I have pants on is that anybody's business? Maybe it is um Nobody else on the show again though today quarantine still so active Maybe someday soon. I'll have somebody else on the show even ever so briefly Most people don't actually like to be on shows live They find it to be stressful And strange and that's what I like about it. So What up, Karina? I hope you're doing very well It's a beautiful day by yourself a magic wand dude. Did you know they're selling magic wands? They can't cut your hair. Unfortunately. So I got the flips My shits very flippy a very flippy hair and the longer it gets the flippier it gets and I'm sort of over it And I'm ready for a fucking haircut when my haircut lady was like They'll burn me at the stake if I come over and cut your hair and I was like fuck So I don't want her to be murdered by the fucking masses So instead I will uh, I will humbly wait Until whenever she said it was Hello hand. Oh, I hope you're doing very well What's the weather like where you're at hand? Is it nice? It's sort of like overcast here But I bet that like I'll bet it's different where you are So I'd be interested to know He'd be interested if he knew that He didn't have anything to do with the information, but it'd be fun to have Cheers glass of water not a sponsor this show What uh I haven't watched British parliament in a while. Do you want to put together like a watch party? Where we all can like watch Some British parliament and just laugh about it. I think I can host that on my page Hi, Ashley. How are you? I hope you're having a beautiful day What if we did a watch party would that be kind of fun British parliament watch party? I could queue up some really good clips or something like that That would be really fun but only really for natural born idiots I don't people I don't think that you smart people that are just here studying Idiot see you're gonna get it But us natural born idiots, we're gonna we're gonna dig it Martin, how are you? Martin you might do pretty well in British parliament. You're not really much of a yeller, but you do carry a certain like Wizardly authority What up Matt? How are you? Oh Matt Of all the mats out there. I just especially bless you Matt And all the other mats can go fuck. You're the king Matt In your dimension that you're looking out from You are truly The central Matt You are the fulcrum. You are the the thing that we all We all serve you Matt. You're the true Matt. How you doing Martin? I'm glad you're doing well Have you got one of these weird robot dicks? They're really cool, man. They're um, they get you high and uh Boy higher than you think I gotta tell you, you know That's right Matt only you matter You are the the the most Matt Of all the mats today, and I'm just the simulation. We're not supposed to tell you this But nobody watches this show so I can tell you um Matt In real life this whole simulation centers around you and um, if I go missing soon From the simulation or if my personality type drastically changes Just know that I don't regret being recoded. I think it was worth telling you Matt You are the most Matt. You are the central Matt And I'll miss you if they if they delete me Hi, Jeffrey. How are you? Oh, martin says just got so high to join in I'm more of a fan of flower. Yes, me too martin. I'm also more of a fan of flower when it comes to smoking uh cannabis but um You know When somebody gives you some some kiz ash And and you gotta spend it on on drugs immediately Um I was just looking for bang for my buck here And I feel like I feel like he's working really good because I haven't smoked one of these in a long time and I feel like it's just Working gangbusters on me martin simulation centers single point of existence Is the rule Did I let out too much of the uh Did I let the cat too much out of the bag there martin you think they'll come after me For letting Matt know that the whole simulation revolves around him Good thing. We didn't tell that shit to hend. Oh, she'd freak out if she knew the truth That the whole universe really centers around hend Good thing. We didn't fucking let that guy out of the bag. How you doing out there in the simulation folks Are you doing your task? Are you making it seem like it's this is all a real place? So that when player one walks by They're completely enamored and drawn in with the beauty of it all That's my role. That's what i'm trying to do. I'm trying to make it nice for you you know So when player one walks by they kind of just get inspired and they go do whatever it is Players do You know And oh, maybe they don't have like a built-in code or something like that that makes them do stuff I do My job is to sit quietly in my room until people need entertaining that I go out there and entertain them But then I know that I'm a cpu because I basically just go home and make stuff for someone else for who for someone else I don't know. I just file it and I make my shit and I file it You know, that's okay. I think it's kind of an honorable gig. What up, peter garland Martin says also another rule Each time a player awakens the game level has leveled up Hmm I know right maybe I just made it harder for matt Did I just make the game harder for matt because I gave him extra powers? Because I let him know that the whole simulation revolves around him Did I give him that too much power and now his life's going to get harder? Because the simulation is of course going to expect him to use the information put out to Could be It could be I don't uh, I wasn't trying to trigger that reality for poor matt king of us all Oh peter, I hope you're doing very well. How are you sir? Now see martin, we can't let peter know That the whole universe Is for his enjoyment We can't let him know because that would make peter's life perhaps harder having that information Peter how are you man? It's been a while. I hope you do very well. That's a beautiful day It's a beautiful day Just hanging out to smoking my weird thing that is not smoking Somehow I'm really good. There's about a 20 second lag. Yep. I think you're right The universe is for your enjoyment. Oh fuck. How did he find out martin? What the fuck? That was between us When we talk like this whoever we're talking about can't hear us I don't know why we fucked this up. Sorry peter. I'm sorry to have spoiled the game a little bit for you peter, this is just you and me now The other people the whole world. They can't hear us now. This the whisper rule on the show peter, I'm sorry if I can let that cat out of the bag for you man It was sort of like unintentional and Now the simulation the simulation might get tougher for you because now now you know Now you know That this whole thing is just a reflection of your inner self trying to like surprise you and dazzle you with something you already sort of know Damn it. Fuck. Hi everybody. I'm back. I'm sorry about that weird buzz You must have been listening too while I was talking to my main man, peter garland Owner of brave knight media. You can find him on patreon. I'm I myself am a subscriber to him On patreon because I find his work to be very moving and creative Um, you can go sign up on patreon.com slash brave knight media. I think that's knight with a k You decide where to put the k. That's the cool thing about the name It's brave knight and you there is a k there And you just you could put it anywhere And it works every time You don't have to put it where maybe like it ought to go like you're thinking right now But um, you could do that brave knight media. You could just type that in and just look him up He's there. Oh, hi, Martin. I want to say perfect. Oh, no, it's happening so fast We may have broken the goddamn simulation a little bit, but we can fix it because um Oh because I'm a fucking world-class idiot. So like That's how we can disregard the previous statements You know if if we don't have to take him 100% seriously and we shouldn't sincerely is nice But not necessarily seriously um, then perhaps Oh Like anyway, I was saying an awful lot of true things I'm not crucify you for it or whatever If the fucking man catches you saying too many true things they crucify yours. I'm like that I read this book when I was a kid It's about this guy Uh showing up in this kind of like rough town turned like a rough time in history And and he's like hey, man, you know, maybe like a we're all kind of cool and shit And I was like, we're not all cool killing the shit. So they killed his ass So like, you know, we should all learn from these kind of lessons Martin says I just re-entered The page and I'm now correctly time-based. Wow Martin has learned to time travel during this episode by refreshing himself or his page somehow Peter Garland says comedians tell the best truths Packaged packaged the best way Ooh, that's a good quote I heard this great quote from a poet Oh my god, I can't remember who it would have been But they said Poetry is the language for which there is no defense and I think that's a particularly beautiful um Turn of phrase I think But uh, that's sort of my thing I guess and I find lots of things beautiful um That's like one of the skill sets that I am pretty good at is like I see beauty and lots of Lots of ways and lots of people and I've made that practice and I'm not embarrassed to that at all Hey bunk. How are you doing? I'm gonna push that wave button at you Wave I did it both ways. I did it in the internet and with my hand Wow That's a hell of a wave And you're welcome bunk. You deserve both forms of wave May my wave make your wave wave, man Glass of water not a sponsor the show just having to come on the screen not a sponsor the show Weird robot dick thing also not a sponsor the show. You know, who the fucking sponsors Of this show. Do you know who the sponsors of this show are? It's you brought to you by viewers like yourselves. Uh, they hit me up on the venmo every once in a while Sometimes they earmark their gift and they say things like um, this can only be spent on alcohol or this can only be spent on weed Or um, you know, you know just give me money, which is great And because the fucking paying my bills is wonderful And not everybody wants a painting. Did you know that that's a hard truth of the world not everybody wants a fucking painting. So, you know The world stuff like that Oh bunk hess is waving back. Oh, do we feel it? I feel it. Do you feel him waving? Oh man, his wave is making my Oh god. Oh, look Oh, look, it made me wave too. Oh my god. Did it make you wave at home? Are you stoned? Oh, you're not stoned That's cool. That's cool Um, you probably didn't wave but you might have waved and you know what? Um, I give you fresh permission to wave. I'm gonna wave it to you a little bit Maybe I'll get you just wave a little bit if you if you fucking if you feel like waving at a screen in the middle of your day Um, then you might be on the right page for this show Because this is this is the show for taking it easy and being a little silly That's why we don't talk about very many serious things on the show And when we do by accident talk about so the serious things, uh, boy, we try and back out of it quickly Remember when we did that whole episode about Sean Connery chewing funny? That was real Pierre waved. Good for you. Thank you, Pierre. I feel Pierre's wave Do you feel Pierre's wave? Uh other Anonymous viewer that I don't know personally. Hello in the future probably Hello future people May your may your future be a bright one Because I'm gonna share it with you of course, but I hope it's a good one for you. Whatever Pierre and peter. We're all riding the goddamn wave. Bonk has says it's 420 Well, what do we do on this show when it's 420? Well, we should do what people do when they're in quarantine Can't be driving nowhere'sville Welcome to 420 everybody. Have yourself a little tokyo fang I'll tell you something this shit works as fuck Happy 420 Wayne, you know, I've really appreciated the people that have Run into me in the world and let me know that they have been watching this show It's way more people than I realize And um And that that just I don't know that feels really good to know that people out there having fun with us And um and to know that it cost me so little honestly The effort level over here is love. So I appreciate it Oh jewels, how are you? Oh, we miss you jewels When they let those airplanes fly again, I'm gonna come fly to vegas and I will have like um Small group of people that probably would be interested in running into me in vegas and like I'm just thinking I should let all the locals just sort of carry me off And and I would just be so happy If you and your dear man were around wanted to have a cocktail with holando I've been to vegas a long time I miss it though. I went there one time Excellent time. I would do it way better now and um You know I just it's time to go back. I think I might have to make a vegas trip It's so cheap to get there from here from ten for a fuck tax, dude It's it's like a forty dollar flight or something like that. So I think I might just have to do that. That sounds a lot of fun. So It's gonna be a guest voice on that Peter you've never been to vegas homie. Let's go to vegas When they lift the quarantine and when it's cool for everybody to go to vegas It's only like it's probably like 80 bucks there and back And you know, you got a hotel room fuck that you don't really need that hotel room except when you're passing the fuck out so I'm thinking not not very expensive either or stay at somebody's house, you know That could be a good thing. I think that could be a real good thing, man I don't know. I don't think it's gonna be super expensive. That's just my opinion Uh to drive around and look at pretty lights and and smoke weed, which I think they have in vegas now Which is nice. Good for them freedom rings God damn it ring a ding dings that freedom They're doing a good job at home folks. Are you maintaining the freedoms? You got to maintain your freedoms because um, frankly Um, if we don't use them, we lose them. That's that's that's all ando's opinion All of lando's opinion about it Anyway This uh weird Magic wand thing I've been smoking from today is is like a never ending. So I shouldn't just smoke at all now I should whip my clothes back off and get back out gardening So that's probably what I'll do Uh, oh cassie. Good to see you I think there might be like a 20 second delay between when I see you Show up or something but um, I just saw an hello Oh no, hand hands busting us She's right. We do talk about a lot of things on this show Oh, and I'm sorry for the tv people if you're watching this on tv I know that you probably hate when I touch the screen But you know, man life's just tough and if that's really the thing that's bothering you Is that really what's bothering you seems like a funny thing to get all worked up about I don't know. I mean maybe like something else Might be going on with you Anyway, nice to see everybody. Oh, I bless you with a thousand. Yes voice blessings each And then a bonus an extra bonus of 50,000 Yes voice blessings if you just don't call right now Because I'm about to go garden. So by not calling You actually win the bonus 50,000 blessings and After I'm done gardening at some indefinite point in the future You're totally welcome to call me again, man because I miss your presence And uh, really I just wanted an excuse to go garden and give you a bunch of points about it Oh, if you garden it's a good day for folks longmont, colorado Good gardening day here Oh, spend your yes voice blessings. Oh so wisely And just spend the rest so unwisely