 Welcome to All Things LGBTQ Plus Youth Edition. Today is June 3rd, thank you. 2019, my name is Jules Caserta. I use they, their pronouns too. My right is? I'm Jay Simpson and I use they, them pronouns. Also Happy Pride Month. Happy Pride Month everybody, it's June. It's June. It's exciting. I'm also born in June. I'm also born in June. That explains a lot. Yeah. Yeah, it does. Gay's born in June. I use they, their pronouns. Your name is Jay Simpson. And you are? Oh, I am Polly Amaris. You're Polly Amaris and that's what we're talking about. That was a really good transition. I almost went through the whole. I almost went through the whole. Just list all the labels. Yeah, I almost went through it. We'd be here for hours. Hey. It's not that long. It's a little long. So Polly Amari comes from the Greek Polly meaning many or several and the Latin Amor meaning to love or Amari depending on what Latin scholar you're talking to. And for people who don't know, can you define Polly Amari for us? It is where you have multiple partners in a consenting relationship and it can either be one person dating multiple people. It could be multiple people dating each other. It can be two people dating and they're dating one other person and that person is dating another person. Polly Amari can get confusing a little quickly. Yeah, I was researching this before this filming date and there was a lot. There was a lot there. It's like the SpongeBob meme. It's not this or this. It's this. And yeah. That went right up my head. Did you not watch SpongeBob? No, no. I wasn't allowed to. Moving away from SpongeBob, I have a few questions on my phone for you. Give me these questions. Yes. Is Polly Amari the same thing as an open relationship? I say no. I don't know if every Polly Amaris person agrees, but I personally say no. Polly Amari, having an open relationship is kind of to excuse me, sorry. Having an open relationship is where you're in a relationship and you and your partner have agreed that you are okay to go do things with other people. Is that not what you just said Polly was? No. Because for me, again, an open relationship, I think of like we're dating, but if you want to go have sex with another person, okay. That's what I think of an open relationship as. Another thing with Polly Amari is it can be and it will be different for every person. Yeah. Okay. So I'm going to be asking questions that are on my phone and if I sound rude, I'm very sorry. I am just confused. Go ahead. And quite ignorant. All right. Next question. Is it different from cheating and if so, how? It is different than cheating because I have had an agreement to cheat. I have been in multiple relationships where I have been cheated on and I am Polly Amaris. Polly Amari is about communication and consent. You need to talk with your partner before doing things with other people. That's where the cheating comes in because just because you are Polly Amaris, it does not mean that you can go and suddenly be with this person without communicating with your original partner. So as a personal example, I had a girlfriend and she cheated on me two separate times. And she was like, well, you're Polly Amaris, it shouldn't matter. And I was like, it does matter because you didn't communicate with me and tell me that you even had emotions for other people. Or you just kind of like exist. I just exist. I have other things that put me in the community, I guess. So I'm not like, oh, this is what puts me in. I shouldn't be any put again. I'm sorry. That's the side character that I think we already talked about and if we have it, we can't wait. Just don't miss me. Yeah. But I don't know how I'd feel if some straight person were to be like, oh yeah, I'm in the community. These are my two partners and it's a perfectly straight relationship. I don't know how I would react and I don't know how other members of the community would react. So it's probably like a love triangle. No, I actually have this very common thing that I say to my friends, well, not just my friends. I say it just in general, why have a love triangle when you could just be in a polyamorous relationship? You write though. Yeah. You write though. Wait, you're right. Wait, what? Skip all the tension and just love. And just communicate. Yeah. I mean. I would solve so many books. Communicate. So many YA novels. Oh my God. It's such a common trope, isn't it? And I'm a sucker for it. Every time. There's so much fun. I mean, take like the biggest phenomenon of it, Team Edward or Team Jacob. Yeah. Just be Polly. Or. Beledate both of them. Yeah. Or none of them. That works too. I mean, yeah. Yeah. All right. And then what stereotypes have you run into in your lifetime? You're just trying to have sex with multiple people. You just want orgies. You just want pre-sums. You just, all you want is sex. So basically you're a slut? Yes. Great. Yeah. That's what everyone thinks. That's fun. Which for me is interesting because I'm Demi. Yeah. I'm demisexual. And I know ace people who are Polly. So demisexuality. Because we brought that term into this bundle. Let's explain that real quick, a little side tangent. Demisexuality is when, let me see if I got this right, you can experience sexual attraction, but only after a strong emotional attachment has been formed. Yes. Yes. For me, I mean. Slightly there, kind of. Yeah. So I, I mean I can look at someone and be like, damn, they are hot, like, would smash. But I wouldn't actually just go about it because I, one night stands would never be my thing. No. I'm not, I'm not down about that life. I, I feel like I need an emotional connection before anything else. OK, cool. So that's back to Polly, because that was a good little side tangent. And I would love to go into ace identities later because there are a lot. There are a lot. I didn't know about a lot of that, but I was like, maybe I have ace. There's ace, gray ace. That's all you can risk. Demi, we already listed that one. Sex repulsed ace. Yeah. So just the stereotypes going back is just like, just sex. You just want sex. Just want. You sound like you were a follower of Pan. That's a. Tag it back to the Latin thing that I mentioned before. Yes. He's a forest goat bear. He was a forest god. Yes. He was one of the most powerful ones. And then. He was also shown with a border a lot of the times. Yes. Because he was known for orgies. Because he was a sex god. Yes. Does that connect to pansexual? I mean, pan means many. But also, could there be a connection? Let me just say yes. Just let me imagine it because that could be really fun. I mean, not really fun because he's kind of a really bad god. Yeah. But like he was there. This is not our topic. I mean, kind of. I mean, I mean. We're educated. We're educated. You about Latin now. This is no longer. Hi. Welcome to Latin. Queer show. It's just what he did you about Latin. Yes. Because I'm qualified. I'm not qualified to be doing this. I'm just here. I'm just 15-year-old here being filmed. Anyways. I can go off about Greek myths all day long. Later. Okay. And then we kind of touched on stereotypes. And then what are common misconceptions about the community, the poly community, and then poly relationships? Common misconceptions. Yeah. Like what do you outside or see and be like what? People think it's polygamy. Just ruin my next question. My next question is poly polygamy. No. He just, he stole my thunder. Okay. Polygamy is different than polyamory. You want to define polygamy? I don't know the exact definition to a fault. But it's commonly from the Mormon faith is where most people know it from. Where one man will take multiple wives and he will be... Is that illegal? No. He will be romantically with all of them and they are not with each other. Couldn't that be poly though? You said there could be multiple people when they are together. Yes and no. Don't get mad at me. I'm just asking questions. Yeah. Polygamy is not polyamory. Have you ever seen the show Sister Wives? No. What? Sister Wives is what it is called the wives of the man. They are called Sister Wives. They are like sisters but because they are the wives of this word guy. Wives. Wives. Wives. Wives. Wives. Sister Wives. Wives but multiple wives. This is not a language show. We were just talking about lives. Okay. So Sister Wives. Yes. So that's what they are called. They are the wives. Got it. TLC I think is the channel. It's the one that has like say yes to the dress in all those shows. Okay. There was a show called Sister Wives and it was about this one man and he in the beginning of the show had three wives and if you continue watching it like this is a reality TV show. Yeah. It was a reality. It's real? Yeah. Okay. If you continue watching it you will see that he gets another wife. He just like gays wives from the show. Well I think he only got another wife like one other wife. How? But they have. How can he even get a guy to date me? He has like four wives. He has like. Is it a arranged marriage? No. Like he would like. They are just all about with him. Yes. But he had a whole bunch of children as well. And like this was also in his family like I'm pretty sure his father. How? Had multiple wives. And also he. Did you watch the show like a lot? Like did you watch it? I grew up watching this when I was a child. Okay. But his father like in the course of the show marries one of his wives mothers. So one of his sons. That cannot be legal. I mean it's not legal to marry multiple people. True. The law is just out of the window. Okay. So tying it back again we're tying that a lot to polyamory. So a common misconception is that people just think it's polygamy. Yes. Have you ever mistaken for a Mormon before? I'm baptized Mormon believe it or not. I don't practice the faith. I think I know that. I think I did know that. I just think I forgot. Yes. I'm baptized Mormon but I don't practice the faith. Nor polygamy. Nor polygamy. Just polyamory. Just polyamory. Every day. Every day. Every day. Every day I wake up and I pray to pair the go-god. Yes. Yes. Praise your God. You gotta yell at trees. That's what he did. That's where the word panic comes from. He would scream at trees and scare the trees. Yeah. I know too much about this. This is what public school does to you. Latin one. Latin 101. It's a weird class. Anyways. So we already kind of answered how to do polygamy. Because you skip a question. No. It's fine. Organic conversation is good. And then how do you handle jealousy? Because this is where I'm really interested. It's like how? I would get so jealous. I mean my partner was with multiple people. I'd be like no. Be with me. Okay. So taking it back to the relationship I had before. With the girlfriend? Yes. She was also polyamorous. So we actually, we originally started in a polyamorous relationship. And that partner. Was there drama? The partner dumped us. Drama. Drama, yes. Wow. This is a drama channel now. Yes. Welcome to... Drama. Spilled the tea. Spilled the tea. We have our mugs. Let's go. Anyways. So started as a polygamy ship. Yes. The other partner broke it off with us. And then... We... It's now not a polygamy. It's not a relationship at all. But for a period of time it was. Yes. It was just a two of you. Yes. And that, because you're both poly though, it wouldn't be considered a polyamorous relationship. No. We were just in a normal relationship. You sound so disgusted. No. I was just trying to think of another word. I was like... The relationship. For what? I was trying to think of like if I should tack a word on the front of that. Like... Straight. A gay relationship. You once told me that you wanted to be a straight lesbian. That was like five minutes ago. I was trying to say straight up. Okay. And then I forgot the word up. I just... I want to be a straight lesbian. I want to be a straight gay man. That's possible. I forgot the word up. Okay. I forgot the word up. I forgot the Disney Pixar movie up. Okay Jay. So how do you handle jealousy? Do that. So we set rules and guidelines to how we would handle it. Did you have to sign a contract? We didn't sign a contract. The St. 50 shades are great. Okay. Okay. That's weird. You just agreed as a couple, you know, communication. It's key. So many finger guns on the show. I know how to do. Okay. Anyways. I... Stop. I hate going on tangents and I'm sorry. It's fine. Anyway. You're amazing. Thank you. I appreciate it. So we set guidelines of how we wanted our relationship to be. So we agreed from the beginning that if we wanted another partner in... because she was jealous, even though she was polyamorous, that if we wanted another partner we both have to be dating that partner. Okay. So we actually at one point tried to include someone into our relationship but they kindly said no, mainly because they had a crush on someone else at the time. Okay. We actually did almost have another person in our... Would that be like actually like including them in the romantic aspect? Like just a threesome? Not just a threesome. I don't know. We wanted to date them. We both wanted to date them. And so we asked her and she actually thought it over because she was... she liked us but she wanted to see where it was going with this other person. She liked both of you? So she was also poly? Yes. So it's a poly triangle. It was a poly triangle, yes. I was trying to think about it, it sounded like a poly triangle but I couldn't think of anything. But it does sound like we're in geometry. Yes. So how do you handle jealousy? I... It sounds like so far something you didn't... Well, so I didn't... It really depends because I didn't get that much jealous. I don't get... Not much jealous? I don't get as jealous as people expect me to do. Apparently people expect me to be super jealous. People also expect me to be straight. Things change. No one expects me to be straight. I don't know but when you're born... Everyone expects... When people were like a child that's gonna grow up to be straight. Like psych, blah blah blah. Yeah. So you don't experience jealousy? I do. I mean people... Everyone experiences jealousy. I just don't experience... I personally am not a super jealous person unless I have given reason to be. I'm not hop on the jealousy train kind of person. A weird analogy. Do you think that not being very jealous kind of helps you with communication when it comes to relationships? Like you just kind of... If I see my partner showing romantic feelings or you know how you get when you have a crush on someone. Yes I know. When I see that and I'm like, hey do you have emotions for this person? And if they say no, I'm like, okay cool. And if they say yes and I'm like, do you want to date them? Is this a thing that you want to pursue? And I'm totally fine if you want to. I just want to speak with this person. Just like interview them? I'm not. I'm just like are you good for my partner? No, like I just want to like... See I would do that because I'm jealous. I would want to have good communication with the other partner as well. I wouldn't want to not know them. So would you... Do you... Is it like... Because you know, you said there could be one person dating two different people but those two different people aren't dating, right? Is that a relationship that you do? Or is it just like there's just one person dating this one person to the other person and they're all three of them are dating? I mean I would... Is it like a different identity inside the community? Like oh I'm a single or I'm a plural? No. I don't know. No, not that I've heard of. If people... It really does depend on the relationship and how people communicate. Because with any relationship communication is key. But with polyamorous relationships, it's extra key. Extra key. Parakeet. Parakeet, yes. Listen, I'm just saying words to come to my brain. Are you just doing word association games now? I love word association games. Mother. I made a reference, but if anyone else there watching this got that, you're cool. You know that I got it. I know that you got a Christian awkward eye contact and you whispered under your breath a curse at me. I said mother, father. Yeah, sure. Anyways, all of these questions on my phone that I got a few of them are online. Offline? I guess I'm off online. Yes. Okay, so I don't actually think these things, but it's just kind of from like a blog. Like a mom blog. You don't have to have a mom blog? Mom blog. I want to meet the mom writing about polyamory. It'll be me as a parent. I have a blog all about this stuff. Just about polyamory? Anyways, are you just afraid of commitment? Mom blog wants to know. I'm laughing more at the mom blog part. Thank you. I'm glad. I personally, no. People out there. People out there? Probably. I mean there's probably people who are afraid of commitment and then they'll be like, oh, I'm poly, yeah. But I personally... Would that just be considered cheating if they are actually poly just saying it so they can not be committed? Yes, I feel personally. Another thing that gets me is when people are in a committed relationship and then suddenly they're like, why don't we try poly? It sounds like you're offering a threesome. It's literally just someone going, hey, why don't we do a threesome? It's basically when people are like, oh, you're bisexual, so you want to have a threesome. I don't know how many times I've heard that in my life and I'm not even bi. No, I'm 15. Stop asking me about that. One time when I was a little quick tangent, one time when I was at a convention, I was walking with my friend and she was 15 at the time and she was in a cosplay and a person came up to her and was like, hey Frisk, you 18, want to come do this photo shoot with me? And she was like, I'm 15 and a child of the Lord and ran off. Side-side tangent, we were at a queer prom and we were like dancing and stuff and then this one person came up to us and they were like, you two should date. Yes. And I was like, that's illegal. Well, it's not illegal because I'm still 18. No, I'm 17. Whoa, it's still be weird. I will be 18 in how many days till the 18th? 18 May is 3 J. 5? 5? 15? And then I just stood on you, I think I just spelled it. 5 days, yes. Okay, then in 15 days it will be illegal. Yes. Good to know. Side tangent, over. And not over? Like, just like, just a quick thing. Being in a public space doesn't equal consent like at a dance or at a convention. Cool. That's a good lesson. It's just a quick thing because we talked about convention and dance and at that dance, I had someone pull Twizzlers from my boobs, so. Thanks for sharing. Max was there. Thanks for sharing. I'm glad I know that fact about you. This is another question from MomBlog. What's MomBlog? I don't think I finished the question. Did you? Are you afraid of commitment? No, I'm not. And if someone was and they claim that they were poly, this is, you will consider it cheating. I would. Fun. All right. Next question from MomBlog.tm. Is it just to have a lot of sex? Basically, like the stereotypes we were talking about before, do you just like orgies? Do you dislike orgies? I'm not a follower of the goat. The goat god. The goat god pan. I am not. She's a god of goats. I'm not an active orgier. I started this show. I never thought I'd be discussing things like this. I never thought I'd be asking my friend. So in the goat god orgies. You should be taking the goat god orgies. It's live TV. You can say anything. You're not live. Glad to say it's live. It's TV. You can say anything. It's cable TV. We can say anything. There we go. I got it. Not anything. Not anything. I did give you guidelines of what you were allowed to say. I know. I've been on the show before. Stop it. All right. So is it just to have a lot of sex? Is it just orgies? No. I know asexual people who are sex repulsed who are poly. That just want romantically. That just like love. Same. Love. I just want love. I just want a relationship. That's smooth. You're in a relationship. Shut up. I don't know. You're good to be like, oh, I'm so low. But you have a boyfriend. All right. We also have to say any more. So it's a good segue. Can asexual people be poly? Yes. Yes. They can be. Asexual people can be whatever they want. People can be whatever they want. Yes. Do whatever you want. Give asexual people some love. Please. We need it. We need romantic love. Not sexual. Please. Thank you. They just want hugs. Just cuddles. That's all. Small cuddles. Maybe some kissies. I think I told you the story. But when I was questioning everything, I screamed to my best friend. I just want someone to cuddle me. And they looked at me. And before I even knew I was ace, they went, you're ace. And then a week later I came back and I was like, I'm ace. So that's fun. Sign tangent about asexuality. But I'm not poly. Yeah. A lot of people don't think I'm demi because I act sexual. How do you act sexual? And just like the dance. I'm your friends with me. Yeah. The dance. But then I had, like, one time I was in a relationship with this person. And I started talking with them about that. And then I had a panic attack because we were like a week into the relationship. And I was like, nope, not ready. Nope. Nope. Nope. You don't even have to be demi to have that happen to you. You start ready for sex. But personally I'm demi. Yeah. What are you doing? The spine. It's very cold. Yes. I run quite cold. Anyways. So to wrap this up, what I generally like to do or try to do is a take away. And then the little outro, which is basically the reverse of the intro. So take away. What is a sentence take away that you want people to? Polyamory is not polygamy and it is all about communication between partners. All right. I guess my take away is consent. Yes, consent. Also, mom blogs are weird. Yeah. Yeah. The internet is a weird place. Especially when I start taking polyamory. And polyamory. And is it just three sums? My Google search history is screwed. What? It's the SpongeBob joke again. Listen, you try with the SpongeBob joke. It did not work. Anyways, let's end this. Okay? So this has been All Things LGBTQ Plus Youth Edition. Thank you so much for watching. And we will see you soon. Bye.