 I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man, and I'm here to read the funnies. Do you happy boys and honeys? Yes, boys and girls, it's Comic Weekly Time, and here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. Well, little Miss Honey, how are you today? Oh, I'm just excited. What for? Well, how people. What are you going to do if people scare you? I'm fine. Then how do you know you will scare other people? Maybe they'll know it's all in fun too. You know. Yes, I think I do. Halloween is a wonderful time, and I'm looking forward to it. Yes, and so am I. And so am I. And I'm looking forward to the funnies too, so read them for me, will you please? Puck the Comic Weekly? Yes. Very well, I will in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Now, here we go with Puck the Comic Weekly. Now, for the first page, hop along Cassidy. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Steak's gun's blazing as he thunders along. Give us music for hop along. Hoppy and the cavalry were heading back to Denver. As they were making their way through a mountain pass, they were attacked by Indians. Arrows came flying from nowhere. And one of their men has picked off. As they gather around him quickly, another of the troopers says, Hey, they're picking off our rear car. Poor Evans. Hoppy looks at the arrow in the back of the dead man. Recognizes the tribe from which it came. He says, Sue. Last picture top row, the major says, This is chief iron claws work. For months, somebody's been smuggling firearms to his renegades faster than we could disarm them. As they quickly bury the dead man, Hoppy says, first picture next row. Well, I don't think they plan an attack just yet, for they wouldn't have warned us by picking off our rear guard. Yeah, I guess you're right, Cassidy. Iron claws, probably waiting for reinforcements before hitting us. As they prepared them out again, last picture middle row, Hoppy advises, Oh, major, I'd suggest we keep on the move. We'll have a better chance if we can get out of this wash. The major replies, Right. Prepare. As they continue on their way, some time later, first picture bottom row, another arrow cuts through the air. One of that troopers is wounded in the shoulder. The major looks back and says to his men, Help Willis with the arrow, but keep on the move. We'll head for the stage relay station at Medicine Bend. It's our nearest shelter against Redskan attack. Last picture, they come out of a grove of trees into a clearing. And ahead, they see a stockade in a cabin. The major announces, Oh, there's their objective. It's sturdy enough to discourage iron claws' tribe. But he doesn't see arrows sticking out of the walls of the stockade and the bodies of two men lying outside, struck down by the Indians. Doesn't look as though there's much room for the troopers to find protection. Yes, there's plenty of danger in this adventure. We'll find out more about it next week. Now? Oh, now. Very well, over the page we go. Yes, you remember also that Val's son, Prince Arne, was very unhappy because no one paid any attention to him. Yes, and happy. Very well, here we go with Prince Valent in the days of King Arthur. Hecket, break it, Grey Malkin and Quince, music romantic for a fair, fair print. Little Prince Arne stands sadly in the doorway. He's hidden in the folds of the drape, unseen by Val, who is fussing over his twin daughters. The little prince sadly goes to his own room, gets his wooden sword and toys and first picture next row, sorrowfully walks down the hall, planning to go away all by himself. But Val looks up and sees him going past the door and he lets out a glad shout. Arne, come here. Val rushes to the doorway, picks up Little Prince Arne and gives him a great big hug. Arne smiles happily to realize that his daddy has noticed him. And then, first picture bottom row, Val opens up a saddlebag, telling him there are presents within it for him. And Val also gives Elita lovely presents, for which she gives him a big, big hug, which Little Prince Arne thinks is very silly. Last picture, Prince Arne is dressed in a helmet, jacket, shield and sword, his presents, and stands there looking like a warrior, ready for adventure, at the sturdy age of two and a half. It's too big for him, but he doesn't think so. Yes, he still pays attention to him. You did, and you were right. Now let's go over the page. All right. Oh look, here's Donald Duck. And we won't waste another second. Here we go with Donald Duck. Say the magic words with me. Squeeze, jump, squeeze, jump, squinty, chicka-chack. Let's have music to pet a quack-quack. Donald is reading a newspaper, the daily blow, when some peculiar odor goes past his nose. He looks in the fireplace, second picture, and sees smoke instead of going up the chimney, coming into the room, and Donald exclaims, Ah, he storked back again. He dashes outside, puts a ladder up against the house, dashes up the ladder, fourth picture, and sees the stork, nesting on the chimney, blocking it so the smoke can't go out. And Donald exclaims, Oh, get this eye-popped. He dashes down the ladder, saying, This is time. I'm going to take drastic measures. He gets his gun. First picture, bottom row dashes up the ladder again. The stork sees Donald with a gun and hops off the nest, looking very sheepish, which isn't easy for a stork to do. And just as Donald puts up his gun to shoot the stork, third picture, bottom row, he hears behind him, and Donald goes, lowers his gun, realizing he can't shoot the mother of hungry little birds. Last picture, we see the stork on her nest in front of the fireplace in Donald's living room, and the little stork's peep. And, and dood, Donald's nephew says happily, Wow, boy, now I've heard everything. Yes, he's made a home for the little storks right in his living room. Oh, that's so nice. Yes, that's so nice. Well, now... Oh, now I'm anxious to see Dick's adventures, because you remember last week, Dick was captured by the pirates and locked up in jail with other prisoners that the pirates had captured. Yes, I remember very well, and the pirates had captured the Americans from the ship Philadelphia. And the pirate captain was going to kill some of the prisoners, and I wonder what's going to happen today. Well, let's read Dick's adventures right now and find out. So over the page we go to the very last page of the first section, and here we go with Dick's adventures. Say the magic words with me. Let's have music for adventurous Dick. Dick is dreaming that he's with Commander Stephen Decatur on a Yankee ship in the harbor of Tripoli. He has been captured by the Bashaw, leader of the pirates, where the ship Philadelphia stuck on the reefs while pursuing the pirate ship. Dick, watching from the window of his dungeon, is seeing the worst thing happen. The crafty pirate chieftain has had his men busily at work at the Philadelphia. And now it has been pulled off the reef and being outfitted by the pirates so that the Philadelphia can now be used against the Americans. Dick says to himself, it's got to be destroyed before he uses it against us. Up and down the grim dungeon corridor, I rather American sailors and Marines from the ill-starred Philadelphia pondering some means of escape last picture top row, Dick suddenly hears approaching footsteps. It's the jailer bringing Dick's food. Dick hears him open his dungeon door. And as the jailer steps in with the food and hands him the tray first picture next row, Dick suddenly thrusts the tray into the jailer's face. Hey, watch out! Filling hot soup all over him and he quickly knocks him out. Then taking the jailer's keys, as fast as he can, Dick releases his friends around him. He goes from one cell to the other, unlocking the doors. The Bashaw's well-armed guards are pounding down the corridor. They've heard the shout. Without weapons, it is foolhardy to fight. Last picture middle row, Dick and his companions scatter. But not before they can help themselves to the guards' cloaks. And they disappear before the approaching guards can get their hands on them. First picture bottom row, the guards search through the palace grounds, but the captives have vanished. Dick and his friends are free. Last picture, an hour later, several miles away, the camel train of Abdul the Trader proceeds with a group of heavily cloaked veterans who come from no one knows where. A close look under the hoods of the veterans would show that these men wearing the striped tunics are Dick, the Yankee prisoners. Yes, and if no one asks any questions, maybe by nightfall, they can be far enough away to slip back to their ship. Oh, I hope so. Well, maybe we'll find that out next week. And now, look, underneath Dick's adventures. Oh, yeah, first snowflake in the rain. Yes, and Mr. Crumb, the crooked owner of the grassy acres farm is running his horse, Poobah. And they're in a gun under the seat of the ferris wheel, and that's right by the racetrack, and I'm afraid they might try to do something terrible like shooting snowflakes so that their horse will win. Don't forget that Tex and Mr. Miles are talking to two detectives. Maybe they'll find a way of stopping this. Oh, quick, let's read so we can find out. Very well, here we go with Rusty Rally. Gallup and run till the road is dusty. Give his music for his horse and Rusty. Tex, Mr. Miles, and the two detectives are talking outside the grandstand of the fairgrounds. Tex is saying, two of Crumb's tutors are working here running the shooting gallery in the ferris wheel. Maybe you notice the big wheel is real close to the racetrack, Prince. Mr. Miles replied, second picture. Yes, I noticed that. I thought of having it stop during the races. It might frighten the horse. Tex goes on last picture top row. Well, these all hoots are fragrant to use a powerful air gun, most likely a target pistol. They got it hit under the seat cushion in the ferris wheel. It's a good bet they're up to no good. One of the detectives answers, believe it to us, Tex. We'll take care of them. First picture next row. A few minutes later, Tex is talking to Rusty. He was on the racing sock. He's ready to drive snowflake out on the track. Tex says, okay, Rusty, get out there now and drive a good race. Just keep your eye on Crumb's driver and don't you worry. Everything's under control. Meanwhile, the two detectives head for the ferris wheel. As they near it, one of them says third picture bottom row. Hey, hold it, Jackson. Look, they stopped the wheel with car ten at the top. Jackson answers. Yeah, probably with one of those hoots in it. Hey, come on, I got an idea. He goes on. Last picture, Lewis says, I want you to get that engineer away from that machine for a few minutes as soon as the race starts. I don't care how you do it, but get him away. I have a hunch that's his idea. Oh, I wonder if you'll be able to work it. Well, we'll find that out next week. Now? Oh, now, Dee. Yes, and here they are in the first page of the second section, and I'll read that in just a minute. But first, here's that nice man with something interesting to say. Now, here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly. First page of the second section, Dagwin and Blondie. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Ram-a-foo, ram-a-fum, zim-zam-zombie. Conjure me music for Dagwin and Blondie. The postman comes up Dagwood's walk, drops a letter in the box, blows his whistle like mad. Dagwood in the house hears it and dashes for the door. He says, Mr. Beasley's blowing his whistle like mad. He must have a terribly important letter for me. As the postman goes down the street blowing his whistle, Dagwood pokes his hand in the letter box, last picture, top row saying, What could it be that could make him blow his whistle like that? He tries to pull the letter out, but nothing moves. He tries again. Nothing moves. He yells first picture bottom row, first picture next row. Blondie, help, help! My hands caught the mailbox. Blondie dashes out. He sees Dagwood's predicament and asks him how he did it. Dagwood answers, stop asking questions and pull. He pushes foot against the wall. Blondie pulls and he pushes. Try again. They try a second time. Try again. And finally a third time. The mailbox closes. They both fall over backwards. But Dagwood's hand is still in the mailbox. So first picture third row, they dash down town to the fix it repair shop. A man at the fix it repair shop puts Dagwood's arm in the vice and begins to hammer away at the mailbox. Dagwood says, hurry! I can't wait till I see what that card in the box is. The repair man answers cheerfully. Well, it's coming off. He hits it another blow and it pops. He shakes out the card. Mr. Fix-It looks at the card. The last picture third row says with a smile. Well, what do you know? It's a little advertising card. I sent out. Mr. Fix-It, I can repair anything. Well, well, blue. First picture bottom row, Mr. Fix-It says, that'll be $2. Amazing. What a quick response I got from it. Dagwood hands him the money in his face and arrivals. Now I want to find Beasley. Down the street he dashes. He sees the mailbox. The mailman two blocks away. He catches up with him, dashes up to him yelling, why all that noise in the whistle when you put that card in my box? The mailman answers, well, it's a new whistle my wife gave me for my birthday and I just love it. Whereupon Dagwood sails into him. And I'm at the fountain. I'm at the fountain. The last picture of the mailman lies on the ground with a black eye and he moans, Billions of people on this earth and I had to get Bumpstead in my root. Dagwood dusts off his hands and walks off saying, No, I feel better. I don't blame him either. But he might have been a little more cautious when he stuck his hand in that mailbox. Yes, a mailbox and he wouldn't have all that trouble. No. Now? Oh, look, and this is so exciting that last week Roy and Jack Spratt, the deputy sheriff, were being treated rough by the cattleman when a man that we think is Black Cramer stepped out from nowhere and made the cattleman let Roy and Jack go. Yes, and then Roy and Jack Spratt galloped off to investigate more about what Park Mr. Norton plays in all this. Yes, and Mr. Norton said that a man named Black Cramer is a cattle wrestler and I managed to find out if that's true. Well, let's find out right now. Hi-yip-hio. Now here we go with Roy and Trigger. Hi-yip-hio. Roy and Jack Spratt head for Blot Cramer's ranch to investigate why the cattleman's consul took it over so quickly after running Cramer out. They pull up in front of the gate leading into the ranch. Find a sign and tack down to it reading, No trespassing by order of the cattleman's consul. As they stop, Jack Spratt says second picture. After Brad and Cramer are rustlers and run them out of town, they didn't waste no time fencing off property. Start to open the gate, but the hinges are rusty and squeaky. Last picture stopped for old guard, pokes a gun over the bluff above calling, Halt! Oh, you, Jack Spratt. Answer read. Even Deputy Sheriff ain't allowed in here. Jack Spratt answers, Is that so? Hey, don't I smell cooking? The guard doesn't see Roy, who is behind a rock. He comes in the guard to sneak up on him while he talks with Jack Spratt. Meanwhile, the old timer who had rescued Roy and Jack earlier comes up from around a curb. First picture found him row. He sees what's going on and stops. He says, Well, Norton's guard stops where it's just when I was hoping they'd snoop around my ranch and learn exactly why Norton's cattleman's consul framed me. Well, I'll fix that. Nobody knows me, decked out in these prospectors' duds anyway. At this moment, Roy, is picked up behind the guard, flips his rope over him. At the same second, the old timer pulls the trigger. Third picture found him, Roy exclaims, Hey, somebody plug the guard. Grab him, Jack. I'm afraid he's done for it. Wonder who shot him? Spratt replies, Well, I don't know, but I see a couple of familiar homerys coming, Roy. Clay Norton and Carp Mallory. We're sure in the JML. As the old timer gallops off, Mallory and Norton approach. Mallory exclaims, Hey, Norton, look, that old desert rat with one finger mission, the one you reckon is blot creamer in disguise. Norton answers, Well, let him go. We gotta stop Rogers and Jack Spratt before they find out too much. Yes, looks as though Mallory and Norton would pin the crime on them. Oh, no trouble, didn't they? It looks that way. We'll find out next week. Now, let's go over the page. Yes, that's right. And just as they neared the city on Mars, rocket ships came out. They sent out some sort of tentacles. Just sucked Flash's ship right down to the ground. Yes, I wanna see what happens. Will they make Flash a prisoner? We'll find out right away. Now, here we go with Flash Gordon. Ask him a task. Let's have music for heroic Flash. Forced down by the strange spin ships, Flash's rocket is grounded on Mars. The hood of one of the spin ships opens, and a Martian of a very different race and a pirate gestures for the humans to alight. Flash tests the air, finding it thin but breathable. Last picture, top row, with his hand near his hidden ray gun, Flash watches carefully as the Martian comes close. He touches Dale's hand lightly. Dale tells Flash that she seems to sense what the Martian is saying. He wants to take them to his ruler, Menta. They walk to the Martian's car, get in, and the car goes off. It's a caterpillar job. First picture, bottom row, as they speed toward the city in a sand car fitted for desert travel, their guide hands them earplugs. Cautiously, Flash tries a pair. He finds that they are mind-senders, which enable the Martians to talk with him. Swiftly, the car approaches one of the gates to the city. As the car rolls through the gate, the Martian guide answers Flash's questions about the planet's ruler. He exclaims, Menta has the greatest brain on Mars. Thus, she is the queen. In a few minutes Flash, Flash's picture finds himself before Queen Menta. He tells her, we come in peace. Menta stares at him grimly and then tells him to give up their concealed rayguns. Or her guards will freeze them instantly if he dares try violence. But apparently those guns are carrying eject a kind of ray that will freeze you solidly so you can't move. Oh, what an awful weapon. Yes, it is in a way, but yet it's better than killing. Well, you mean because they can unfreeze you when they want to? Yes, possibly. Oh, I wouldn't like it anyway. I wonder if the queen will be friendly or not. Well, that's something we'll find out next week. Now? Oh, you haven't read Alice in Wonderland? No, we haven't. That's the Lone Ranger. Turn over that page. Oh, look, here's Alice in Wonderland and the caterpillar who huffed and poked and became very angry when Alice said that she would like to be taught. Yes, that's right. And then the caterpillar turned into a butterfly. Yes, and then the butterfly told Alice that if she would eat a piece of mushroom she might grow big. So please read now and see whether she dies. Very well. Now here we go with Alice in Wonderland. Say the magic words with me. Yes, sir. Alice in Wonderland. Music, sir. Music, sir. Alice nibbles on one piece of the mushroom. Instantly she grows skyward. She grows so tall her head goes right through the trees and towers above it with a bird's nest on her head. The mother bird flies off the nest saying Then you, come along. Alice exclaims But I... And Alice puts the nest back in the tree and the mother bird flies back to it. Third picture, Alice bites into a second piece of mushroom and shrinks down and regains her normal size. Alice exclaims There, I myself again. But I better save these pieces of mushroom. And then she goes in search of the white rabbit. Last picture top row she wanders into a shadowy grove. She sees all kinds of signs. One says this way other says that way another says up another down another back another yonder Alice exclaims Which way? And then, first picture bottom row a voice from a tree says Wow, you really want to know you went that way Which way? The Cheshire cat, or it is indeed he finally tells Alice where the white rabbit went. Wow, you went to the my chair's house. Alice exclaims The Cheshire cat continues third picture bottom row Oh, the mad chair's mad Oh, is the mad hatter Alice says to herself And you're not all there either And then wanders through a path down through the trees Last picture she comes to a funny little house with Japanese lanterns hanging around the trees Alice exclaims My goodness, I wonder what will happen to me here But despite the Cheshire cat's warning Alice hurries toward the odd thatched house of the March Yes, it is I'm afraid Alice is going to find a funny adventure with a mad hatter Oh, yes, but I'm sure it won't be very dangerous Well, I hope not Well, that's something we'll find out next week Now, that's all the time I have But before I go, here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information Well, honey, and all you boys and girls, I gotta go now All right, Mr. Connick, little man But I'll be waiting for you next week Okay, that's the date Girls, be sure to meet me with our little friend Miss Honey next week when I read Pop's The Comic Weekly For I'm the Comic Weekly Man The Jolly Comic Weekly Man I'll be back to meet the funnies To you happy boys and honeys Don't forget boys and girls See you all next week Your friend the Comic Weekly Man The Jolly Comic Weekly Man The Jolly Comic Weekly Man