 Welcome to today's episode of the mindset mentor podcast I'm your host Rob dial if you have not yet done so hit that subscribe button that you never miss another podcast episode If you're out there, and you want to receive some extra mindset tips for me I send an email out every single Monday with some tips and tricks on how to improve your mindset and intentions to work on going into Every single week, so if you want to get that for free It is absolutely free go to Monday email calm right now once again Monday email calm And I will start sending them directly to you today We're gonna be talking to you about how your memories are not real today We're gonna talk about how your memories have many problems in them in the stories that we tell people Before I dive into it. Let me just give you a crazy statistic just to kind of blow your mind and see where we're gonna go for today, okay? The statistic is this up to 50% of your memories of your entire life are Not accurate Up to 50% that means half of the things in your brain are not true Think about it for a second when you think about How you are the way that you are based off of your past But in reality, you're not the way that you are based off your past You're based off of your Memories of the past if you've based your entire life. Oh, I am this type of person because this happened to me I am this way because she was this way I am this way because my mom was this way I was because my dad treated me this way because my sister because my teachers treatment because this is how I did in school You as a person right now and today are the person that you are based off of the memories that you have of your past and Now you realize that 50% of those memories are not accurate So then you start to think to yourself. Well, if the memories aren't accurate If the past was inaccurate Who am I? Because I've based my entire being off of everything that's happened to me in the past Oh, I am the way that I am because she said this to me because he cheated on me because this happened So as we dive into it, I want you to understand humans are very complex individuals And what we tend to do is we tend to filter Every single thing that happens to us through our filter of the world, right? So for instance Example that I'll give you is let's say that you fail a test in Third grade you fail a math test and your teacher says to you Oh, yeah, you're just not good at math and you think to yourself subconsciously. Well, this is my teacher She's way smarter than I am if she says I'm not good at math I must not be good at math and what happens is then you go in you take more tests and more tests and more tests Then you do great in English you do great in everything else, but you always fill your math tests Why because you're not great in math you built an identity Based off of what a teacher told you when you were in third grade and then you know, someone comes up to you And they're like well You know, why are you not good with your finances? Oh, I'm not good with my finance because I'm just not good at math I'm not good at math so I'm not good with my finances and what happens is this one event that happened to you in your past Your memory of that event Changes the entire trajectory of your life and somebody could be terrible with money simply because they have a perception of I'm not good in math I have a friend who she literally thinks that her money problems stem from her not being good at math And I'm like you're telling me that math is an issue if I gave her a million dollars And I said hey the next 12 months. I want you to get really good at math. Could she get good at math? Yes She could now could she be as good as someone who is just naturally Gifted in math, maybe not, but could she get better? Absolutely. Would that improve her finances possibly? Well, especially if I gave her a million dollars, right as they improve her finances But it was one event that happened in your childhood and it made you fail tests and to change your perception of yourself And now you have money problems and you think you have money problems because the fact that oh, I don't I don't know How much is coming in? I don't know how much is going out all of that Here do you want to know the simple thing about math? I'm math tends to be my subject. I'm really good at math But math is only memorization That's what it is. You know, I don't know that 17 plus 18 is 35 because I just did some complex math problem I know it because I've memorized it So it's the same way for you Where it's like that one event can go through and change your entire perception of your entire life and when we tell a story and We think about something and we talk about something or remember something we tend to do one of three things So when you remember something you tend to do one of three things and this is super interesting with people You know, I teach coaches how to grow coaching businesses and in turn I also teach them a little bit of how they actually work with their coaching clients One of the things I always say is you always have to realize that when someone says something to you About something that happened in their past about something that happened yesterday about something that happened an hour ago It will usually come out one of three ways. We will either generalize it We will delete or we will distort So I'll go through each one of these we generalize we delete or we distort or we do all of them or a couple of them so when someone tells you a Story of something happened to them in their past and it's not true. They're not necessarily not true not completely true There's parts missing. It's not their fault. They're not being malicious They're not trying to lie to you It's that most people are not even aware that they're generalizing that they're deleting and that they're distorting certain parts of their story Now it's important for you to understand this about yourself. It's also very important for you to understand It's about other people as well So, you know before we dive into these three different things I want you to understand that everyone is viewing the world differently At all points in time. Everyone is always viewing the world differently. I'll give you a great example Let's say you and I and a friend are driving in my truck, right? I'm driving the truck and you're next to me in the passenger seat and your friend is in the back seat and I really Need to find a mechanic. The reason why I need to find a mechanic is because my truck is running kind of weird It's like, you know making weird noises I Get off in the next exit the only things that I'm going to see I'm gonna filter out everything in my perception most likely That doesn't look I'm a filter it all up. That doesn't look like a mechanic shop. I'm gonna look for Jiffy lube I'm gonna look for pet boys. I'm look for whatever it is. They could possibly help me fix this problem now Let's say you're next to me and you are really hungry like I'm talking about Hangry as can possibly be You're sitting next to me. You're not gonna notice any of the mechanic shops What are you gonna notice every? Single restaurant that we pass everything that looks like a restaurant You're gonna notice the gas stations because you know inside of there They have some food that you could pick up really quickly and you could help yourself with You're gonna notice all of those the person behind you your friend Really had I mean drink way too much water this morning and they need to pee I'm talking like they got to go. They're about to burst. They're not gonna see a mechanic shop. They're not gonna see The restaurants, they're gonna see every single place I go to the bathroom They might see the restaurants, but they don't see the restaurants for the food They see the restaurants for the bath. So you start computing the entire world of where can I go to the bathroom? We're gonna go bathroom. We're gonna go bathroom They'll look at bushes and be like is there a place I can hide behind bushes to go, right? They're gonna find every place they can we're all seeing the same thing But we're all seeing something different Think about that for a second. We're all seeing the same thing, but we're all seeing something different Because we're all filtering the world through what we're filtering it through at that moment Now if you realize that that's just a quick moment of getting off in an exit There's a car problem. You need to get some food your friends got to pee but if you think of someone's entire life and all of the events that's happened to me all all the Successes all the failures all the happiness all of the heartbreaks all of the things that teachers have said and that parents have said to them and think of that It's a massive filter where someone's gonna see something completely different than someone else is gonna see something And so I want you to understand this as as you start thinking about your own memories But also starting about other people's memories realize that every single person sees the world differently Even though they're all seeing the exact same thing everyone's viewing the world differently It's like we're wearing different colored glasses and all of the things that we've been through Make the color of the glasses, okay So I want you to I'll give you another example real quick Let's say that we're walking down the street you and I and When you were younger you were attacked by a dog and you have this massive fear of dogs And we're walking down the street. I love dogs. I love them and there's a dog that barks Internally inside of me. Nothing's gonna happen. That's everyone might be like ooh a puppy. Where's that dog at right? Internally in you is like oh shit something's wrong I'm gonna be attacked again, and that could be completely subconscious and you might simply You might even simply think that just because you saw a dog maybe didn't even maybe didn't even bark and just seeing a dog heightened your state of emotion and Brought you back to that and put all of your focus on that dog. So We could be seeing things the exact same things, but we're all seeing something different, right? And so let's dive into it. That was a good prep. Okay, we generalize we delete or we distort I'll give you a good example of generalization When I used to run my first office as a sales company I used to have sales reps come in and we do these things called phone jams and everybody would make phone calls Right and they would come in and they'd have a goal like Rob I want to make 50 phone calls in the next three hours. I'd be like cool I'd get their goal I'd send them on their way and then I'd come back a few hours later And I'd be like hey John, how have your phone calls been going and they're like oh my god. Nobody's home I'm like really? Yeah, nobody's home made so many phone calls and nobody's home And so I'm like okay. We live in Broward County There's 1.7 million people in Broward County, and you're telling me that Nobody is home Well, no, of course Rob. There's there's some some people home, but I'm saying like nobody's home That's an example of generalization Something happens and then they generalize that everything is that way and so somebody could tell you a story And they could generalize and this is the one that's probably used the most when I hear people tell stories Is that they generalize everything? Everyone's doing this everyone, you know, they put up a piece of content. They put an Instagram story and like friends This is a good one, right? Women who who put up content on Instagram, maybe they put up something motivational and they put up something around business All that stuff and they'll say oh everyone on my DMs are just creepy guys Everyone that's following me as creep. I'm like everyone. You're telling me there's not one Non-creepy guy that's following you and all of Instagram you have 10,000 followers. That's 10,000 creepy guys And they're like well no not that's not 10,000 creepy guys And so what happens is people tend to see your brain wants to to work quickly and so it'll see up this happened This happened this happened and it's two quick things three quick things and then it generalizes all of it Oh, everybody's this way everything is this way, right? Nobody's home Everybody's creep and so your brain will generalize so that it can make some quick computations And then make adjustments from there and so people tend to do that That's one side generalization second one is delete they will remute remove pieces of the story or Reality to meet their narrative Right, so they can meet they can take pieces of their story and actually change it around to meet their narrative or To meet their perception of the world and so people aren't necessarily Lying to you. They're just Deleting certain parts of the story that don't meet up with the story that you know the narrative that they're trying to tell you and once again This is not done maliciously. Most people do this completely unconsciously and so they delete The third side that they do is they distort, right? They distort so one of my team members He's one of the sales people on our team and he was like One day he was not fully booked with appointments and I said what happened yesterday He's like, yeah, I didn't get all my appointments booked. I did everything I could and I said Have you did everything you could? And he's like, yeah everything I could so we went through every single Situation of how he could have gotten more appointments I said to him listen if I gave you a million dollars to get your appointments booked yesterday Could you have gotten it booked and he's like, yeah, of course I could I'm so they said okay So you're telling me that you did everything that you could he's like, well Yeah, shit. I guess I didn't do everything that I could right you could have gotten it done And so those are just examples people tend to do that. They tend to generalize the delete distort now We're talking about other people mostly right now. Let's talk about yourself Whenever you think of a past event or you're telling a story you Are not outside of this you will generalize what happened You will delete instant information and you will distort stories Simply based off of your true memory or based off of the narrative that you're actually trying to tell and So I want you to understand this when you think of your memories of the past And this is why there's been a lot of research recently where people have been going through and saying I witness accounts Maybe aren't as reliable as we thought they were to say that this person did this Might not be as reliable as we thought it was because people will only remember about 50% of what actually happened And so there's a lot of times where there's like shootings that happen, right? It's terrible. It's shitty that that happens But people will think that there were four people there were like their stories whenever this happened They're like, oh, there were four shooters when there's only one because they're their brain was there's just so many things Happening and they're in such a heightened state that their brain is just trying to pull in as much information as possible And they will generalize delete distort and there's many many different ways where things will happen and That people will just be telling a story and there could be three people in the exact same thing happened And they could tell three completely different stories based off of their own filter of the world their Generalization they're deleting or they're distorting and so it's really interesting to think this because you can start listening to people Tell stories to you and you can start to see that there's holes in their information Once again not because we're trying to do it, but simply because there's stuff that's missing from it And that's the way it is but then with ourselves we can sit down ourselves and we could say, okay All right. Am I generalizing this thing that I'm looking at right now. Am I deleting? Information that could be information that I completely missed am I You know in a good example of deleting information that I can tell you is like we we take that example for being third grade in failing a math test Someone can think their table at math and they can completely delete in your their head The one math test in fourth grade that they passed and they did really well it and they'll think I was just a fluke And they'll delete that from their mind because it doesn't match up with an error So there's deleting and there's distorting as well And so we've got to start asking ourselves Are we not remembering the world that we thought that it was Could it have been different than it actually we remember it. Yes and if my entire person that I base myself off of is Based off of my memories of the past and the way I relate to the past Is it possible that I'm not the person I actually think I am because things happen differently than I thought they did and So you've got to start thinking to yourself Because the one thing I really want you to do and I want most people I want everyone in this world to do is start questioning who they are start questioning who they think they are Because who you are is just someone that you've just decided to be when I woke up today I decided to be Rob dial and decided to act like I've always act But if I had something I wanted to work through I could go you know what I'm gonna side to act differently I'm a side to be a different person I'm a side to act like a different person today because I want to step into who I want to become and if our past Creates who we currently are and a lot of times what we tend to do is we usually take our past and throw it into our future to make predictions We have to realize that our past doesn't matter at all right now this current moment is just a completely clean slate Because if I don't remember my past completely and I'm trying to make predictions on my future based off of my past I'm trying to make predictions off of a future. That's only 50% correct on average And so I should just go you know what I'm gonna start with the clean slate I'm not gonna be that person more the results of the past don't matter what matters is what I do now and how it goes my future because Your past your memories all of those things aren't 100% true So that's what I got for you for today's episode if you love this episode Please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me at Rob dial junior ROB di al jr And I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode make a submission make someone else's day better I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day