 Rydw i'n ddweud eich cyfnod o'r pethau arno. Rydw i'n ddweud eich bod yn yr eistedd o'r cyfnodol, ac yn ymddun i'n teimlo i'ch gweithio'r teimlo'r gweithio. A'r ddweud o mynd i ddiwgol, felly mae'n gweithio'n ddiwrnodol y gyrfa gyda'r podcast yma. Rhaid i'ch ddechrau'r hynny. A'r army, arwm y pryddon, DJ Gepong Star, Straitman, ac yna'r world champion Ibernuch. Sabar erola costa Danny Boy I mean we have bashed him up with this iron and then the light comes on You know what I'll never forget it He was up against the fucking, the colour like this just fucking shaking like spasming sort of thing I was like, what if I don't I used to just turn up to ring someone and say Come on man, come on, free drugs and I just have like a mug there filled with like coke and I would just like grab a spoon and go that anyone who come round like it was days on end that the best thing I ever done the best thing I've ever done in my life was learning to not give a fuck what other people thought But it is a mad thing to think that a straight man doing that It's mad Obviously you get acting, maybe guys kiss stuff and that's understandable but to then go full blown what was the worst kind of stuff you had to do? The kissing, the kissing so for the Lucas Entertainment we had to kiss now I was like look I'm not putting a dick in my mouth So there was one guy who I worked with who I got told about three days later that he was HIV positive it fucked me up in big style in these mad couple years I've got quite far I've only been doing it six years now and I'm BKB World Champ and I've just been a fucking killer easy easily kicked beat him as well like if he had won that fight he'd call me the Ben Oko Bomber Ben maron today's guest we've got Dan McGrathen How are you Dan? Good mate, good thanks for having me on Good to have you on fascinating story in the army, army prison DJ gay porn star straight man to then Ben Oko World Champion it's about a rollercoaster Danny Boy It's a bit mad in there it's a bit weird in there it's your story though yeah, it is my story and people love this mad shit I knew so I said manifested this happening I've got I listened to people's stories before and I thought I've got a better story than this person I thought my stories if I was listening to my stories a different person I'd be like you weird cunt only time will tell me only time will tell first and foremost how are you? I'm good mate, I'm good How are you feeling about doing this then? a little bit nervous to be fair yeah I'll be alright once we get cracking my book I was coming up and I was dead excited and I was just like I started getting pre-fight nerves coming in I was like you're not fighting you mad cunt you're just you're just doing an interview but as you know I'll go back to the start for my guests where you grew up how it all began I was born in Cumbria as a kid grew up in a little town called Maryport in Cumbria couldn't really tell you much about my childhood there like lived my man and I weren't together but we lived on the same street all my family pretty much lived on that whole street and then my man met an army man and I think it was about four or five and we moved to Germany so I was a bit of a pad-brat moving around a lot moving around quite a bit so I lived in Germany for a couple of years I think this was the point where I always thought I'm going to be in the army I didn't mean the I'm the biggest fulc am I mate so academically anyway I knew I wouldn't do nothing but the army so we left the army left Germany sorry about seven and moved to Newcastle so that's where it's about eight years old and this is where like see I had a mad accent do you know what I mean so growing up I had a bit of a Cumbria accent a bit of whatever accent and then moving to Newcastle so sort of like not bullied as such but like people just took the picture of my accent all the time that where's he from you've got like a mad mad accent blah blah blah and then so you get bullied for your accent German, Jordy, what about all over again? so it weren't German so we lived on an army base an English army base in a place called Olsner book and I don't remember much much had a couple of army mates like when you live in an English army camps in Germany everyone sort of like one family don't mean everyone's lived in this big block of flats everyone was army everyone's kids was army do you know what I mean you always everyone sort of knew each other but I don't I really got much of a memory of Germany little little little memories of like the naffy going to the naffy parties and barbecues stuff like that all army all all army and then which is mad because when I joined the army somebody one of my RSMs will get to that he was like see you're such and such a son he was like I remember you when you and this was my RSM to me which is like the regimental sergeant major like the big bollocks so I mean the person everyone's scared of so he was like he was like I remember you when you were like four or five years old because obviously we stepped out he he went on to do 25 26 years in the army so he was a sergeant major so he they all know each other's sergeant majors because they've all went through everything together especially in certain regiments so I joined the artillery so the old the old new old RSMs know each other from either starting together or doing sergeant major's courses together or going through the ranks or whatever so they all knew each other so everyone like I say it was just a big big place but everyone small community sort of thing but we moved to Newcastle when I was 8 went to normal school everything was sound to be fair went to school high school middle school and I was knocked about with the hard kids big big big wave of me big big into me like me monkey you ever heard of the new monkey the mchina big up piano now is that? yeah the wave up yeah it's like mchina music like I'm seeing shit like that yeah it did transition for well funny enough it's Spanish the music Spanish mchina but it somehow ended up big in Newcastle and then big in big in Scotland but I was big big into that and used to go up the key side every every every week at the new tapes sets every every week so the popular kids the hardest kid in the school he used to want my over earphone on me on me Walkman so I was always with him don't mean so because I was always with like the hard kids it was sort of like it was alright in school but then me man moved like once she'd split up with me step down and thin she moved to this other state in Blake though which is like total of hand of where I was from all me school and it was rough it was rough as fuck instantly I was dislike it was about 13-14 at this point I was disliked straight away because I'm from a different area from a different school I sound a bit different anyway like I got a broad jordie accent it's a bit like diluted a bit so everyone took a total dislike to us straight away so you have to get the bus from Blake though to Llampton where I was originally from knocking about with all me all me mates and all the kids and then get the bus back but then when I was getting the bus back the way I had to go home I had to pass everybody all the time so I either had to walk like all the way around or like jump through gardens to avoid people stuff like that me it was pretty heavy to be fair like every day every fucking day I was just having to avoid people I got stabbed in the leg what for? for being me me to be honest when that happened as well like so pretty pretty bad one as well like my leg there so it just like just pierced the artery a little bit so it made it pretty like heavy blood do you know what I mean but when it happened it must have been adrenaline so I was walking down this cult and Sally went and I had to get down it to get to where I wanted to be otherwise I had to walk next to 20 minutes so I get up there and I walk through in the roll at the end it's on Friday night there's about 15 of them what was that then I thought I've already started walking so I don't want to start walking in the spot you need to I can't turn around now I'm already like I've come I'm committed so I thought fuck it I woke up so I got up to the morning I thought all right we're past and then as I just turned turned me back I just felt like this fucking thud pushed into a fence getting cracked a few bits but then I felt like a dead leg do you know what I mean like someone's just give you a proper dead leg and it ended up getting away and I sprinted down the street sprinted home literally sprinted home fuck knows I've done it got home and then I was like to pull me past down I was like my mark comes in the kitchen it's just made it look like a fucking it looked like a fanny on my leg it was just wide open just blood squirting on my mask start screaming and she's like what happened what happened I was like I fell off a wall still was just mad till still to this day she thinks that happened because you mentioned it to me me bird they were which I remember that time you fell off a wall and gashed all your leg open and me bird just looked at it and was like fell off a wall she was like what the fuck but yeah so that happened for about 4-5 years like literally like fucking avoiding avoiding anyone I could see because nobody in that estate like this for no reason just like if one person don't like you the kids are like they just start chatting and so I was always trying to hide from people and then I started skateboarding right after I left school but because skateboarding was more of a like was like a golf thing it was not a killer but it was classed as like something like that and that was just you know what I enjoyed it I just started randomly doing this this me little brother started skateboarding one day and he was doing a gnolly and I was like how you doing that so he showed us and then I started doing that fucking so I was going to like the local skate park and that but because I was like a chaff right I couldn't walk down the street for skateboarding anything like that but then when I got to the skate park I couldn't dress like a chaff because they were all dressed in like vans and all like skater gear so I'd like leave me house and chaffi gear have me all my stuff in my bag and when I got there I'd switch into different shoes different it's mad mad like constantly thinking what other people think about you playing parts all the time to fit in the other people it's mad the skaters in that though that you see them in 20 years ago it was like we used to fight them and stuff it's after scoring it was mad because you look at them now they're cool bastards man just floating about on their skateboard on their skates and just you might see them in a skateboard and you're thinking man that's unbelievable what they do just fat, strong and yet because if you never played football or done boxing you're not cool it's fucking weird things have changed now thankfully and a lot of people what more people are accepted I know it is a lot better now like but then you would just you would just victimize for for you just you would golf you would people who I did know from school would be like on MSN be like oh yeah you were golf now you were like a skater and I'm like no no I'm not golf I'm not golf I was just scaping and I fucking enjoyed it I was good at it it was all right it was really good and then when I was about 15 and then then I knew I was going to go on my army I was dog shit in school dog shit weed smoking fucking evening I had fucking pill in that here and I was only I was a young young man really young like I say I was a wave I was my breeding ground was the monkey this club in Sunday and the new monkey I was there constantly and it was like a club that was open from 10 at night till 7 in the morning didn't sell alcohol at all no alcohol license was a private member's club fuck knows how they got away with it they did get closed down in the end like lasted about 10 years though and it was just eat the people who owned it were grafting the pills like stuff like that so was constantly like on it then Tammy Miles staying at mate's house whatever just thinking fuck to be fair do you know what I mean em anet wee I was going to join the army that was it so I was about 16 years joined the army didn't give a fuck about school GCSE didn't care I joined the army did you just want to be here? I think so yeah just wanted to be away from your castle wanted to be away from I just always knew I was going to join the army like I was just grew up with that like being a pad brat I just everyone I don't know I was just constant army always knew I was going to join the army and I always thought don't matter how how thick or smart you are because the army will have you like it's always people without the best educations like going to join the infantry or all the artillery or something like that so I am I joined the army little did I know that when I joined the army they put me through all these courses to get the equivalent A to C in I can't remember what it was called now like to change the the exams now but it was like anyway it was the equivalent to to an A to C so I got there and I was like you didn't do very well in school so you need to do these courses I was like fuck sick I was telling the teachers I don't need this shit I don't I'm joining the army but when I did go join the army at 16 I fucked my collarbone there skateboarding bad skateboarding incident and it held me off like another year so I went to college done art don't know why I done art I am just I think I needed to do something could be my I wouldn't get benefits and shit anymore if I were in education so I had to do something I was getting thrown out because I did have a job and being cute but I fucked that up by robbing from the till as you do by your pose in your video the weekend I outsmarted them somehow got caught in the end but if I didn't like so what I done was right you used to be able to void on the receipts so if you come in and you bought something and I was like oh shit and I made a mistake you just passed void and then it would void the receipt so whenever someone come in and they were especially if they were buying like builders shit like construction shit they always had the exact amount of cash because they always knew what they were getting the sort of bags of plaster or whatever they'd always go and they'd have because they'd probably buy that amount of every time so they had the exact amount of cash so what I'd do is I'd always thought these guys ain't returning this plaster are they if you got left over bags of plaster you're probably going to use it on another job so I'd just go to void and then the cash to give is remember them little pinnies being cute at the orange ones straight in the pocket there making like 400 400 quids a day and that was bop bop bop void void and then I got too greedy way too greedy and I'd done it with a fireplace that was 499 quid and he had the cash and remember as I scanned it 500 quid he had the cash in his hand and I was like fucking void boom I thought just I shouldn't have done that shouldn't have done that but he tried to return the fire and when he tried to return the fireplace that's when it had void so it was fucking shit back then man down on the proper little shit but my mom worked to being cute at the time so it was embarrassment on her do you know what I mean she weren't she weren't happy at all so I got sacks from being cute obviously got arrested and everything so I went to college for a little bit while I was waiting for the army to let me in because for some reason if you break a bone you've got to wait for 12 months you've until I don't know why and kids I think because if you get if you're in the army and you get medically discharged they've got to continue paying you for 12 months if you get discharged from the army for medically reason they have to pay you still you wages so the deferred has had to wait about for a year so I'll 17 ended up joining the army and I can say I got bullied a lot like not in school but in this new estate I was like fucking it everybody hated us like I said for no reason I had a couple mates couple mates but like most of the big boys are hard cunts from because there was another school just around the corner and the other one to that school so all the hard boys on that school they know there's a guy from Warbottle different school miles away is now living here I'm not going about here it's like ego thing in there just you know I can't say out because that's what kids like aren't they it's just what was it like joining the army well was it exciting or was it just more fear that the potential could get bullied in there like you did in the streets well I was just buzzing to get away get away from all start start over again start a new life and then when because I was fake that you know like there's the instructors will be telling you something that obviously they take the pace especially in basic training so we went to per bite for basic training I joined the artillery so it was down south and like obviously their job is to try and break you because you've got like eight weeks you're there for 12 weeks but you've got eight weeks before they'll let you leave and like all right goodbye your contract hasn't officially started yet they give you like a little time frame just in case you don't like it so their job is to literally try and break you within them time because if you can handle it you'll go through and you'll be all right because once you get into your regiment like it's a different ballgame do you know what I mean the banter that if you can't take it like if you can't join the army like you can't you've got to be able to take the run and give it and just laugh you know what I mean so I was getting like the pace taking out of this all the time for being fake and like can't move on parade this was my problem I'm a bit I don't know whether it's ADHD or like or what like I'm a bit getting like this like moving all the time and like you can do that so when you're on parade you've got to be fucking still bone stand for attention and I've just been like looking looking around like so he instructs to be like my graffin like what the fuck you doing on the wall like just I wasn't even fucking thinking but then over over people start trying to take the pace so I remember lying in my bed one night thinking like am I going to go through this all over again like if I start letting these bully me now this is going to continue from the whole army career so I was like lying in there in bed I couldn't sleep and I'm just thinking what am I going to like the next day I'm on a wake up and someone's going to try and take the piss so it's just like I thought no I just lost it and this guy was like a Mu-Tai fighter or something like that and I fucking a few people were scared of him he was in amazing shape he was a bit older as well he was in amazing shape and like no one would say a word to him and he tried to take the piss and I was like fucking yeah so we ended up like right at each other and then I thought fuck this anyone who says anything I'm just going to I ain't letting these take the piss out of us anymore I'm not this again like hiding from people not when I go out with people blah blah blah so it was I could see it taking that little bit of route but then after that especially once you got to like phase two phase two is a little bit more relaxed you can start leaving camp and stuff like that well this one drink got involved so now we're going out we're in a place called Salisbury and then down south and we were out all the time all the time in Salisbury and I was getting mortal mortal yeager bombs like a lot I was only a kid and I was getting fuck and then obviously you're fighting with other regiments and stuff like that and I just started thinking of somebody just started swinging on somebody and once you have the drink it's like mad confidence isn't it you think you're fucking hard as fuck so I ended up just scrapping with people all the time and then I ended up it was one of me mates actually one of me good mates so we went through basic together ended up going through phase two together he was out I don't know what the fuck was on up with him he was on a mad one and then he got kicked out of this bar and it's only a small town there's only a certain amount of clubs and bars in in the town you can't just go like alright we'll go somewhere else because there aren't many places to go to and if you've been kicked out of one more than rightly you ain't getting in that other one because they're like radio to each other don't they so this guy's been a knob and then one of my mates is like I'm going out to see him he's been kicked out he goes out and he cracks me mate so I'm fuming at this point and I'm like but who does he think he is? so that's how I go out and then I'm like what's your problem? and they and I'm good mates with him and then he cracks me I was like oh and the bouncers were watching it but I looked to the side and all the scene was these red berries and that's the police that's the army police the military police seeing them walking up the street so I was like right I've got to do shit the bouncers were like we've seen it was him but go back in and enjoy your night but I sort of went in left it he's went back to barracks and the more I've drank and the more I'm getting more pissed off I'm like who the fuck does he think he is? the cheeky little cunt and I'm getting more and more pissed off so I get back to the camp and I go straight to his block get up the stairs that's how old school army blocks these wearing like sharing rooms eight man rooms sort of thing and like them them metal beds with green police mattresses sort of thing do you know what I mean? old school and then I see him coming out of the communal shower and he had a towel around him dripping wet and just ran up to him to start fucking battling him and you know what? he was an old cunt you know he's an Irish lad and then he was an old bastard and he's like he's soaking wet some slipping on over him do you know what I mean? it was mad we made it I'm glad there weren't like there was camera phones on that at the time but like there weren't the greatest because it was talking 2005, 2006 or something 17 years ago so it had been like you know what I mean? we're rolling on top of each other he's naked you know what I mean? they're literally bollock naked so he's on top of it he's fucking bat and bashing his somehow I ended up pulling him off his anyway this instructor come and he was 2.9 Commando which is like the marines of the artillery so each regiment has like you've obviously got the marines you've got the paras but in some of the other regiments you can have like they call them snidey ones like you're a snide parer so if you were in the artillery and you were a parer it was 7RHA like the real paras would like look down on these because then you're not in the infantry you're attached but you would still have to go through like the again the school schoolboy games again in there even within the army so he was one of them he was kind of fit as fuck and he's come he said what you're doing broke us up and he was like I thought we're gonna get fucked and he goes like you back to your block you back to look he's obviously seen it a million times he was a sergeant I mean he's seen it all back at camp and we're still only trainees just phase two trainees so he's like go back go back and anyway he must have been pissed off now so he's come back he's come back to my room and they had these like these did did did did did not to get through but because he was one of my best mates and we were all mates he knew the cut I knew the cut to his room he knew the cut to my room there was a big front door right must have been about one two o'clock in the morning and the big front door I've missed a bit actually I've missed a bit I've went to the end there we were back and forth anyway he'd come over had a scrap with me I went back over to him had a scrap we were scrapping in the car park at one point and then going off I was this back and forth I'd back to him he'd come over back on me I'd gone back to him this same sergeant seeing us in the car park he said what are you two doing is that you back to your I'm in box of shorts me I've been chased with a fire extinguisher but I am like fucking mental right and this is one of my best mates but just pissed up badly badly pissed up and then so he got back to your fucking room you back to your room you back to your room anyway it's all died down at this point and then the main door on the building was like a winding door not shuts itself and I hope I just remember going up my eyes and then I heard his Irish accent walking down the corridor fuck so my room was like my bed was the first one by the door the very first one so I've got up and on I've heard his did did did did and that's fine I can hear a few of them so I've grabbed my iron obviously you have to iron you're closing the army it's a must every day you have to have your creases down here your creases down your front like the if you're you go on parade and you've not got gleam and cake you're going to get picked up on it and like I guide the toilet which is like when they punish you somehow they'll give you like jobs to do or something like that so I've grabbed my iron just fucking levied in with it but as the lights come on there's three of them and they've got do you know like your wardrobe but your hand you close up another bit in the middle what comes out the metal bit they all had them in their hands they all had them so I thought they've come to lever me while I'm asleep anyway I've bashed them up with this with this iron and then the light comes on there's you know what I'll never forget it he was up against the fucking the cupboard like this just fucking shaking like spasming sort of thing and I was like off I'd done and everyone in the block was like doing like sort of didn't let me move stood there they were on the phone like someone's coming like I knew I was getting nicked at this point and I spent a night in there in the cell of that barracks just like an old school cell I spent the night in there and then obviously the next day he said his part as of my part but it was a heavy offence that do you know what I mean but I remember seeing him all the wind of the next day he had like like a mummy just stuff all over his head like I'd let this this iron was in pieces luckily because I didn't mutter on it pretty much yeah and luckily one of me best mates at the time he fucking hid that iron he hid that iron so I'm like when they asked my story I was like that I took they had these poles in their hand and I said I took the pole off him and I battered him with the pole and so when they went to his room they noticed all of the poles were missing out the cupboard so it was kind of going in my favour the thing is with the army especially in phase two you um so everyone's getting distributed to your choice of regiment you choose in phase well in phase one you choose where you want to go each artillery regiment has their own different equipment like the AS90s the light guns that could even be the drones like all the MLRS which was the Newcastle Regiment we stepped out was in which is like big fucking rockets giant rockets so you all choose where you want to go I had chosen the Newcastle Regiment um and you can't go off to your regiment whilst under investigation because you don't get the army deal with the charges so if it's a civilian offence if I got nicked in the city street the army take over the police can't charge it the army then take over and they'll charge it so they take over it so they didn't want us to going back going to our regiments we had chosen because they don't want to deal with it when it comes because we were under Cote Marshall which is pretty bad in the army because you get Cote Marshall it's like it's like going to Crown Court of in the city street so we're getting we're both getting Cote Marshall which is taking a while we both have to have like solicitors and we're we're powers again by this party so this this took a year so you're only supposed to be in phase two training for 12 weeks you get your driving done you get like certain like you learn to drive the jeeps off-road stuff like that you do certain certain things in phase two then you go to your regiment so we were like we were doing we don't know the courses so we were sort of like stuck there but with nothing to do to know what I mean both of us so we were sort of doing the same things over and over again the same exercises going away to like when you go on exercise and like saws we playing or something like that we're doing them over and over and over again because this Cote Marshall is taking its time so during this time I fucked up again so so everyone's going on this exercise and I thought I ain't going on this exercise because I've done it twice for what I'm not so I've plagued illness plagued some illness went to the medicine I've plagued some illness for what I'm staying on camp so the something I just said to his he said you're confined at the camp he says you're not just because everyone's gone the camp was well our part the camp was divided by three regiments so our regiment two four regiment I think it was was the phase two trainees so he said you's aren't going out we could go out on the weekend usually you's aren't going out he said you's are confined at the camp he said you're not going out so I tried to walk off camp couldn't stopped us my car was flagged up as it was because of the registrations I just couldn't get off the barracks at all so I'm in the room and this other lad comes in he was on the sick as well and he goes well we weren't on the sick we've plagged it but he I see one of my mates in this oh my god I'm with him really well he left his the car keys out so I didn't know what car was is just literally hung with the window he just did did I was like there we go said let's just go on in his car not mean in anything like not mean in like to be a dickhead or anything just to get off camp we need to get off camp so we drove into town and the plan was just to have a couple drinks to come back as bad as this sounds obviously but we were just kids then and I fucking got more on them rate his car off rate his car off in this because it was like where Stone Ends is you've ever been on there? yeah that's where the camp was right by Stone Ends so when you come along like Stone Ends is on a motorway in there they give you on them what you can see it on that motorway there's a little turnoff and it's like a em it's like a country track and it leads up to where it's like a shortcut to our our camp was and then I went down there made the weather was heavy heavy and we got tilted ripped into this ditch couldn't get fucking out this ditch stuck literally stuck mortal and they're only like for some reason when you're pissed you don't think about how bad the situation is and then it's always a good idea yeah and then you open your eyes hung over and you go all hits you what you've done and then you go fuck so it's like shit that we need to get this em we need to go and get this car but what happened when we were there funny enough as we're walking along the main road the police pull covered in mud the both of us and then say what's happened and then it comes down the cars there and everything they give us a lift back to the fucking the army balance yeah and I'm going to them man you need to do as a favor man I'm like we can't get dropped off by the police well mainly I couldn't walk into barracks because I'm supposed to be confined at the camp so I can't walk through the main entrance so I want to make you can't drop us off at the main entrance I want if they see police dropping us off there's going to be alarm bells ringing blah blah blah don't know why I didn't get breatharised though but they said in their statement like the main one didn't seem intoxicated only the other the other one seemed intoxicated because I had blagged I was just picking me mate up from from the out on the pace and this has happened because of the bad weather so we didn't breatharise it wasn't I mean you're going to have to drop us off on the corner so we had to like climb over the fucking army like bobbed wire fences and stuff like that through this random field to get back into camp and then the next day I remember thinking I'm going to take the Land Rover because I know I used to be on guard a lot because I was always in trouble I used to put you on guard which is a bit of like bit of a punishment so I was like I'm going to take the Land Rover guard truck and I'm going to go pull that car out of the fucking ditch so I know I've woken up in the morning and they'd all come back the coach pulled up in the car parking they're all getting off so anyway he spotted his car he's come in and went mate I've got something to tell you and he was like oh no he didn't I told him first I've got something to tell you he's like what and I didn't think he'd grass I just thought like look I'm going to pee for your car that I'm going to buy you a new car but whatever he went straight over grassed on his and I'm not surprised to be fair so then I've back into that fucking cell thing so I was there even longer I had two cork marshals one for stealing the car of camp and the other one for hitting the guy with the iron what's the sales leak in there on me? these ones well these ones were on the camp so they were like ass cell they were ass cell usually in the guard office like when you get to Colchast it was a bit different and like the glass almost to call it but it's called MCTC now in correction centre so you've got two cork marshals that yeah two cork marshals so my my regimen don't want me so at this point my stepdad he was a salt major at the Newcastle Regiment and he's hearing all about what I'm doing because everyone knows who he is everyone knew my stepdad was a salt major so I got a little bit like he were a little bit yeah a little bit I should have been kicked out fucking well before that to be honest but I I didn't I got in and my sergeant major of that camp he was really good mates with my stepdad so I got away was just I always like I remember him saying to me one day he was like you're not a dickhead he's like you're not a dickhead it's just it's all alcohol related he was like you're a good soldier he's like you're just alcohol he's like the only son they were trying to like I was just younger con and like me couple of pines to just be fucking thinking I was why do you think you do that like your mum got your job being cute you kind of fucked her over your stepdad is kind of fine at every corner probably want you to stay in there because he knows if you're outside you're probably want to be a lost soul he just want probably be some discipline in there but again you keep fucking that over that why do you think that is? I have no idea mate I wish I could answer that I have no idea just a dickhead honestly but then like I've grew up a bit now it took me a long time to go up probably about 20 years but I still haven't grew up like but and I don't know why I fucked it up but I did feel like a bit embalisment over about I was just like look he do you know what the thing is though it took him nine years to get his landstrike which is like the first stripe cos he was constantly fucking up when he was in Germany it took him long and once he was never going to get promoted he was always fucked up he was always going to jail like just so he thinks so he couldn't really say a lot but once he got his landstrike after nine years he flew he like once he'd switched on he flew through the ranks do you think he's seen a bit of you and him? maybe maybe well I've grew he was the one who I grew up with so like like my dad was around when I was a kid but then we moved to Germany so like I didn't see him he couldn't keep in touch with shit then I don't think him and my mum there was no mobile phone back then on the mate of being but would have been them fucking old school things which nobody had so you couldn't really keep couldn't really keep in touch and he moved house a lot but in this one area Maryport so I remember like I didn't really have sort of lost touch I tell you what there's a story with me me and my brother right so going up in Maryport I obviously recognised my brother now it's been years since I've been to Maryport cos we've lived in Germany so I mean now I lived there so I spent and everybody lived on this same street so anyway I'm about eight nine years old and I'll see that I'm with one of my mates and I see this guy and we're looking at each other like giving each other evils and I'm like a fucking all that guy and he's like what are you looking at you and I'm like and then we're going to have a scrap and I said to this kid Sean I went who's that he went his name's Chris and I went Chris McGrathen he went yeah so I went up to him and he's like what I went you're my brother cos we hadn't seen each other it's like subconsciously I knew it was my brother like cos you change a lot as a kid don't you like in the short space of years you you change proper change but yeah so I didn't really have my dad around a lot until I got a bit older and I could start making the decisions for myself to like get in touch with him go and see him he had moved to Blackpool so it weren't until then so really back then John my stepdad he was who I had been kind of brought up with until I was about 12 maybes did you hold down in the resentment against John once it moved you away from Germany because you couldn't see her no no no no not at all didn't you think he was a good guy didn't you yeah John's a good guy yeah so it was me dad like John was a good guy you know what I mean I've learnt like my music my taste of music so because he was constantly playing CDs like you know what I mean like little things like that like I just remember John was he was a good guy John he was always behind me stuff he was always always no problems with John whatsoever you're doing all that shit to keep the gate kicked to mean the army I wanted to be in the army I did I wanted to be in the army I don't know I don't know why I do regret it tried to join the army back just two years ago because they changed the they changed the age to they changed the age from 32 to to like 39 so I was like I can join the army again but the next time it's too much to said because I thought I'm going to do it right this time I'm going to fucking do it right I didn't I went for the money on nothing like that because I've I've made my money elsewhere I mean like only fans all that sort of stuff it was because like I felt like I failed I failed in the army so I had to like get that back from me sort of thing so you've got two charges hanging over your head what happens there? so how old were you? 18, 19 still a kid man and it's hard to say fucking screw the head and make changes if somebody told me 18 or do this and do that and don't fuck off well John decided you're not coming to my regiment he's like you're a bit of a liability you're not coming to 39 regiment in Newcastle because one it was home so all my friends around and he had he used to have people who were from Newcastle and they didn't leave on balance because they were from Newcastle and they chose the home regiment they'd be ringing up sick or the mum would be aww he's not coming into work today because he's he was like you're not coming to Newcastle he's like I'm sorting you out and anyways this regiment in Germany two six regiment was a big everybody wanted to go to Germany it was only two regiments within the artillery that were based in Germany so they were always two six was the main one because of its location and got a slow everybody wanted to go that was everyone's first choice only the best got into that sort of thing if you were a dick you didn't get into that well he sorted it out and I got that transfer because he was like you're not coming to my regiment he went name a regiment and I was sorted out I was like two six he was like right cool thinking you're not going to sort of two six for me so he next minute I get called into the captain's office and it was this transfer over you're going to two six blah blah blah he's like I don't know how this has happened but the powers above have granted it and you're going to two six so that was just basically get out of the country go and sort your fucking life out Germany's the wrong place to send me as a pissed kid definitely the wrong place but these two charges I had to wait for them to be done so I'd done these two to what they ended up doing was rather than keeping us in two four to say I said those three regiments distributed in the one camp to rather than keeping me going through training over and over I was like this is winding me up it's been like a year and a half like everyone I'm seeing recruits come and go come and go constantly while I'm still there just seeing fresh faces come 12 weeks later go so I'm just seeing these fresh faces over and over so they put me on to one of the other barracks on em on camp which was em was it three four battery or something like that? I can't remember but it was basically you're out on the range every day every single day you're out on the range and it was either classed to other people in other regiments this was either classed of the Naughty Boy Regiment because it was a posting people got posted there for two years so even if you were either you were among at your job and just not very good they send you there because you're on the range every single day you end up coming back switched on because you spend two years learning your job every day rather than like when you when you're back actual regiments a bit more relaxed sometimes you're not doing a lot all day just turn up to parade you might have PT in the morning you might you might just be sweeping around or just doing not not a lot sometimes so they'll send you to this regiment either if you were a dickhead and always getting in trouble or if you were a bit of a not very good at your job so I ended up getting sent there which I loved I loved it because I weren't a recruit anymore I was back normal they were treating me like a like an adult like a sportsman so I said come on I was like please I can't I'm getting in more and more trouble because I'm stuck here I was like it's like a vicious circle I'm stuck here and I'm bored I don't know what to do so he sort of took a little chance in his now everyone knew I was the dickhead from the other battery everyone had heard about it everyone knew knew him but I proved myself then I don't really well I got him with a song made you I got him with everyone and I proved I'm not a dickhead I was just I was just yeah yeah I was still young don't let it sound I was still young I was just with older people and I was just getting trapped a bit better by this guy like this guy Shane he was a sergeant and he was a new castle supporter so like we had a bit in common there do you know what I mean? so he he was always like Jordi Jordi like so we we we got on and then anyway I went to my regiment the court marshals stopped and when I got there did my new sergeant major was like when your name popped up on a piece of paper like they all go right let's say there's like 50 names James English you'll go on that regiment demographic you'll go on that regiment blah blah blah so the BSM battery sergeant major he got my name and he's like nobody wanted me every every sergeant major didn't want me now the RSM the regimental sergeant major who was mates with me stepdad his name was Cain so I used to go by the name of Dan Cain when I was in school up until obviously he weren't changed by depol and often so my passport and my birth certificate and everything still said my graffin up just soon as we moved to Newcastle that just I don't know I think it was just through arm the schools in the army like I just started going as Dan Cain so as I joined the army I was I was demographic so this RSM didn't have a fucking clue I was because he's not recognising the name of graffin so anyway we I get told by my sergeant major nobody wants you and when I got told you're having they basically done a fucking short straw of who was getting me and he was like I do not want you he was like you're a fucking dickhead he's like I know everything you've done and trained in he's like I don't want you in my regiment but I've got to have you so at this point I knew I'm getting trapped like a dickhead yeah I'm like they don't like me the worst jobs the worst jobs when I like when we went away we go away on exercises and stuff and I was in the the JCB big telescopic JCB which doesn't sound like a bad job if you think about it you're just driving about in the JCB I thought this pretty fucking cool this and I got my cos it was classed as a a bigger vehicle you had to have you see license to do it so I got put through my my lonely license and everything to do it so that was a big bonus and then anyway we were away and then Czech Republic I think we are six weeks and then I'm driving this JCB thinking that's cool job this right but I get no downtime because I'm the one who has to take down the rounds to the big tanks the AS 90s the big fuckers big big rounds I create some of them and it's like literally when these eight this could be eight of them in a row and they'll get like a fire mission and like when they go the whole fucking cab rocks like I could be 100 200 foot away and the JCB boom so as I drop off my my bits or their bits sorry it's now my turn to get some admin get my head down but how the fuck can you get your head down when there's nine AS 90s going off one after another you just can't so I was losing me shit big style and he was just like like because I was the dickhead do you know what I mean I was the dickhead so and this had happened I mean I've skipped a good couple of years here this was what made me lose the plot and proper lost the plot and I just refused a soldier and just like was like no I'm not doing it and I remember someone saying when you refuse to soldier you have to because you can't take an order so refusing to soldier means you can't you don't listen to what anyone says so that's what made you was like I was like I'm refusing to soldier like it's pretty unheard of for someone to step up and say this to us so I'm major like no fuck you I'm refusing to soldier so I was fucking shit scared I'll just kick fuck out you can they yeah I took a few beatings off something just a few times like especially in training the code is on yeah but it's too many people about too many people about so like I remember him going fucking stand there now so I was like he was like I'm going to get a captain or something like that I'm going to stand there now so I stood there and then I was like no I won't fucking stand here now because then I'm taking an order on I'm soldiering I've took an order so to start like walking around in circles I lost my head big style but I know what it was it was sleep I weren't getting any sleep because when they expected me to sleep that was when them rounds were going off and then when them were all finished their fire mission and there's all this shrapnel I mean they're leaving giant like the cases are like this and it's got all the ammunition inside of it the big big things then it's up to me to then put all night in the crates pick them all up get them all back while everyone else is getting their head down this is after the fire mission so then I'm working through the night here so I would just weren't and then it's back up again do this I wouldn't get any sleep and I lost my head big style and then they put me in front of this the commanding officer big big thing that and my sort major was he was an ex Marine 29 command or one so he was fit as fuck he was a he was a beast used to me was to pt every single morning because when we done seals pt which was once a month seals pt was like the regimental pt and it was always hard super hard our battery had to win every time so he beasted us every single morning and we did win to be honest we were all mega fit but this guy was dead scary anyway we get put in front of this seal and I lost my head and I just come up with a mental story I'm not going to repeat it because it wasn't true and I don't believe in that shit anymore I say shit can happen so I made up this story anyway lost my head somehow started crying I don't know how I just fucking lost it so they give me some compassionate leave and they said go on go on you sort yourself out come back when you sorted so anyway while I was back on that leave I went to some wave got super fucking pissed drove me car flipped it on the central hit the central reservation and fucking flipped it didn't even have my seatbelt on either big turning point in my life that didn't have my seatbelt on or anything all I had was this little little scratch on my head there and I thought I got all the car it was about seven o'clock in the morning on the M1 and I was like some woman stopped she was like are you alright and I thought because the car I got when you're in Germany you can get tax free cars and they give you to the army people all the time because they know you can afford it so the financial so I had like we had a VXR at the time you couldn't get insured because it was a two litre and I was like 19 so I was it was alright to drive around Germany because it had an English reg plate and you had to do something called BFG British Forces Germany so you had to like turn your car from English registered same registration plate but it would be BFG sort of thing so that means like if you went through speeding cameras or anything in Germany it they could link to who you were but I didn't do that I got someone who I knew to pass me off he had to have a little permit if you didn't have a permit you couldn't get in camp so I got one of my mates to pass me off on the sly so I wasn't insured on this car so anyway I smashed that car up and hit the central reservation I remember getting a letter through the door like I caused 30 lands were for damage on the M1 like this was when I was in jail they sent Collie and then I thought I'm not going back so I went AWOL and I had met a bird who was from Northampton so I was living with her was getting phone calls off me ma me stepped down like what's where are you please like they're looking for you they were parked about to have me else at one point like and I'm like giggling to myself like ha they're looking in Newcastle like not a clue that I've met a bird in Northampton and that's where I was so I was hiding out there for like a year a good year and then I ended up getting a job and you can't get a job if you hear what but it was agency work so I got away with it somehow and I got this job and I thought oh the army are full of shit if you get a job like because they stopped paying us after about the period of six months though six months of being able to full pay so once that had done I got this job and they nothing happened like I said so when I didn't have the agency work I had my HDV so I had tried to get a job at UPS and I put the army as a reference thinking they're not going to check but they did and they were like he's still an active shot soldier can we have the addresses give you so obviously they blinked that to them and next minute I had like nine officers knocking on my door two o'clock in the morning going you hear well from the army man what are you talking about I'm not I'm ringing out the window I'm like I'm not even in the army you matter what you're talking about so anyway they come in and then they just see me army burgin on the floor like Lord's of army stuff just kicking about do you know what I mean so anyway they nicked it it's kept me in it's kept me in somewhere for about nine days until someone from my regiment had come and picked me up to transport me to like a holding place so that was another call martial that was getting at this point which I got kicked out for I did get offered to soldier on they did say look because by the time I'd got back into the routine of ironing my clothes getting back into being a soldier I was like alright I'm back into the routine that was like I wouldn't mind soldiering on they offered me to soldier on and I said no at first and then when it come to me changed my mind and then kind of still soldier on and I said no it's past that now you get discharged so what's that feeling like for you getting discharged I didn't mean to give a fuck I didn't how long did you do in the army? six years and you get free coat marshals free coat marshals and what happens when they all get squashed yeah you get your time you either get collie or you get like fine just collie like the army prison's at it went too bad is that army prison? yeah that's army it's in Colchastria it went too bad there was a lot of a lot of like stories of collie when you're in there when you're in the army of how bad it is but it weren't that bad I think to tell you them stories so you don't go there what's all that stories? oh just like if you get fucking like shit you've got to clean clean like not like the cliche stories you've got to clean the toilets with toothbrushes and you seen the films? yeah no like that no like that no to be honest it weren't too bad if you soldiering on there's two wings A ring and B ring if you're soldiering on descend just to A ring and you have to do you have to do PTFD you have to stay fit you have to do everything as in you are still in the army but if you go to B ring then all you're getting kicked out so they offer you like remission so if you got sentenced to a certain amount they can go you can be out in June your earliest possible can be June or your latest possible could be September so you have to earn that remission each day you can get five days of remission each week you've got to be good you've got to be because most people just go I'm getting kicked out anyway fuck you what you're going to do and they'll just ride it out but if you want that remission you want to get out early you've got to got to play a game so I played a game anyway and there was there was this farm on camp and I proper liked the guy I don't know why because it was graft up there had to clean the pig shit out nobody wanted to go so they used to have to dick people so they'd get you on a parade in the morning and then Colleen would just go like you, you, you, you and I always used to volunteer for the farm because I like the guy just like had a good crack with him so and he liked me because I'd turn up and grafted I'd clean the pig shit I'd fucking do all of that it was quite cool to be fair on that farm that you'd feed like eagles with like chicks not like with the glove on straight in take its head off neck its head off and then take off with the birds class and he'd always let me do that I don't know why I boast off that but just like I just boast off the farm so because I always because I always volunteered for the farm and he always spoke highly of us I always got my remission but then me bird the one from Northampton she was visiting us now it's not a proper prison so they're not allowed to search you they're only allowed to search us they only have rights to search us because they're not prison guards they're in the army so she'd come in and she'd be sneaking me all sorts then like a big pouch of backie because backie was worth money in there and everyone had money because you're in the army so back then you would just be like you'd ring, ring and I'd ring, we'd burn up because anyone had been transferred into the bank and she'd be like yeah, yeah, such and such and we're like that, okay and I'd be distributing the backie and I made a fortune and that to be fair but then she started putting steroids in the in the fucking in the pouch so every time she'd meet us she'd pass us it we had a nice little routine of how I would get it so she'd pass me it quick and I'd just hold it there and then I'd go to the toilet but the tuck you to the toilet you see if you went and gone to the toilet would be two of them one would be stood there watching like everyone speaking or whatever like supervising and then the other one would take you to the toilet so what I would do was I'd wait till somebody it would just be sat on my lap there and I'd just wait till someone went to the toilet and then as they went to the toilet you'd walk through this door and just as they would get to the door I'd go can I go toilet as well? and they'd go go on quick so during this little point where I was unsupervised I'd be like fucking really stashing it stashing it good could you get searched? so I'd be putting it down there and I was selling these one jab of steroids like tests whatever the fuck it was I couldn't even tell you I'm uneducated on that shit but I knew it was worth money so one jab I was selling for a tanner a tanner of a jab you know so I'm reacting to money in there but anyway one day I come back from the farm and I'm searched and the fuck knows why but you've got them pockets on your army gear they're the big pockets so he's patting me down and he went fucks that so he's went in and he's pulled these tablets out and they've got like Arabic written on them and everything and he went what the fuck are these? and when I got them from the med centre and he was like the fucking Arabic you'd have come and I was like so anyway he puts me in this room don't move searched ended up locking the whole prison down the whole collie everyone gets locked down and then they done a search the whole the whole wing got searched everyone's lockers so obviously they found loads of shit in my locker they found like lists because I was double bubbling backie like I didn't smoke so I would go to be got seven quid a week or something like that and I would buy backie with my money from the shop and you double bubble it you pass it to someone you get double next week don't mean I end up I end up like 50 pouches of backie on the mattress which I was selling on for like 10s, 20 quids or whatever like that when people had the money and so yeah so I got caught with that and I ended up getting extra sentencing so I fucked up in collie as well How long did you end up doing all together in there? About nine months in total So once you get discharged which what happened what's the career path like then kind of rebelling against anybody who tells you what to do is the same you were getting told what to do this party feels if you were getting bullied No not when it come to like the ranks because I was so young when I joined you just automatically looked up to them and respected them they were older than you they were higher ranks in you so if you're getting bullied of someone you just took it where as I found there was a few older people who was one guy I can't remember his name now but I remember he joined when he was like 29 so he was having to listen to younger people bullying him and that must have been quite hard So what happens when you get discharged? So when I got discharged I felt like I had my life back I moved to Northampton with this bird and I back because I joined so young like I said I was smoking weed and I was taking the odd pill on that when I was younger I was going to the Monty so I was fucking I didn't do no drugs in the army no weed no I was quite good didn't I stuck to that that's the one thing I did stick to because you instantly discharged you get caught if you test positive in the army you'd gone within a day you're out bags pack fucking see you later it's like the number one rule no drugs so Yeah so you did have a batter what? Yeah I did stick to that I did stick to something because if you want to smoke a joint are you going to do something to get kicked to a lot of people used to snit and some of my mates some of my mates did smoke on leave because if you're going away on leave only thing with the smoke it's in your system for a long time a long time the challenge that's 2-3 days couple of days yeah and you'd see people you'd see people come back off like off leave and you you know on and on you're getting tested you are if you've been on leave for three weeks you're getting tested especially in phase two you're getting tested when you get back if you go on leave for Christmas and you've got New Year and all that and you come back to work on like the 4th 5th of January you're getting fucking tested so you'd see people like come back after Christmas leave necking cranberry juice water cranberry juice and all and you should know to just flush it out of you like you'd see them doing and I was quite good I didn't I stuck to that one so when it did get out there on I started going to the raves and that again I was like I felt free I felt I felt like I can fucking do what the fuck I want now and I went on a a fucking 5 year sesh I just went on it just got worse and worse I was going out every day this is where I was in a small town of Northampton everyone knew me as Jodie Dan so everyone knew me like it's just do you know that small town mentality that everyone knows everyone sort of thing so I ended up graffting at me and I ended up getting a fucking heavy round me a heavy, heavy round this was when like that MCAT bubble was huge I remember me out, me out 14 year ago yeah so I ended up getting a barrel a big blue barrel of this MCAT before it just before it went like illegal a barrel of it and it was cheap and cheerful stuff that like don't know if you ever had it on anything but it it was fucking horrible can't piss shit but Northampton was a big unitown so I was a lot of students so I had a good fucking round going there so I was graffting for a bit I was in the raves scene like I said I started DJing met a guy who was a big DJ in the hardcore scene who was a Glaswegian actually a massive DJ called Joey Riott not sure if you've heard of it big sharp Joey Riott so he sort of took me under his ring right and he was good he was well respected and he was always going to us I was being a dickhead again so he taught me everything I knew now how we started was I was personal training in the gym and he wanted to live somewhere and I wanted to learn how to make music I wanted to learn how to produce music so I was with him all the time we were sort of exchanging exchanging sessions for sessions and stuff like that and obviously I was graffting and he would he would want some stuff to take to his gigs and stuff like that sometimes so you could just have it have it mate do you know what I mean? I was doing that good because I was like do you be like oh can you come round and round and I'd just be like chucking him like cues in it so go on have it have it whatever pills, cork whatever the fuck I was graffting at the time and I was killing it to be fair like I was doing really well I wouldn't say well but so then I got I started to get caught all that I had a good run I did have a good run you always get fucking caught mate always always always always this is why you have to have that about you to know when to stop yeah I don't do it oh don't do it yeah it's a bit hard though isn't it you've got to make a quit somehow isn't it so I was doing because I was going to these raves I weren't getting searched I'd go in with my big DJ bag and I'd just like say the name Jody I went by DJ Jody but not spelt Jody as in Newcastle Jody spelt like Joe D like a bit blah a bit hardcore sounding isn't it so then so I just walk in and be like yeah Jody the bit all right I could go straight in no searching and we'd be DJing in clubs like O2 academies like they're not little little dingy clubs they were big big clubs and then the where was I at there yeah bringing a gear into the club oh yeah so I'm taking the big gear in and I'm killing it mate because I'm grafting like and I'm a DJ so everyone knows who you are so everyone would like prefer to get it off you rather than get it off like some random on on the floor do you know what I mean and then there was a guy quite high up within the scene yeah like promoter level yeah of big big big raves and he was from the Liverpool area and he was like I'll tell you what mate there's this story on my daughter was born fucking bad me right so my daughter she was being born in Wigan Hospital so I've sort of missed a few bits there while I've ended up being Wigan but I met a bird when I was in the army when we were in training I met a bird and we were together for a bit the only reason we split up was I was going to Germany and she was going to a different camp and we ended up meeting up at some point in Northampton after she got out the army and after I had been kicked out and we were together for a little bit she ended up getting pregnant and she was from Wigan so she went back to Wigan and I was just in Northampton and I'm like I can't leave Northampton because I was making like five to ten grand a week so I mean I was like and you can't say no even though they've got at one point I'd have like 40, 50 grand just chilling in my microwave but I could still not say no to it I think it was more like the buzz yeah like like get it off me like I'm the man sort of thing big bit pathetic when you think about it now now I've switched on with myself but it was like I have to be around I have to go to these parties I have to go to these ways like you have to get your stuff off me I was a big spender because you couldn't put it I didn't have a clue about business and you couldn't put your money in a bank because I couldn't do anything like that because that's how you get caught so I was just grafting it on like trainers, holidays like just caches king like just just splashing it, just spending it so I've may have still got some of the clothes and the because if you buy a good pair of trainers or a good pair of clothes they can last you a long time if you don't wear them like constantly so I've still got some of the like special edition like Nike trainers I was paying like 600 quids and stuff for me and I've still got them under me bed still good good condition on that and so when my kids being born me eldest she's being born in Wigan Hospital and this guy was telling me about the the guy was quite high up it within the scene the promoter of some big events he he I had the best stuff from Liverpool area I had like the sickest so I'm speaking to him anyway and he's like where where I'm like I'm in Wigan he's like I can come meet you I'm like I'm at Wigan Hospital so as me kid was being born he come into the hospital here I was speaking to him out of the fucking sniff stashed it wherever I stashed it and went back to my daughter being born and I'll never forget that I'm just chilling there with midwives and that around I've got two ounces of sniff down me down me boxes just like the stinky stuff as well like the really really good stuff like clay shit and then when we don't was born there was a big wave on the next day and I was like I need to go to this because this was my this wave was my sort of the big the first time I'd got on a big event it was a big event and I had to go so like basically watched my daughter be born spent like five six hours with her and then fucked off just getting asked to go to this wave and this is how I got in with that that guy was quite high up in the wave so then I started dealing with his links and getting it all off the boys in Liverpool and large amounts large amounts of MDMA Cork get the fucking lot like I own a lot of money out and this was when I was being a good couple years at this point but this was where my life just started to go fucking I've had the ups you go up you must come down it happens happens to fucking everyone so everything started going wrong so I got pulled over pulled over randomly for being on my phone searched the card on the why I didn't stash it I forgot it was there so they've opened the door and there was like a couple hundred pills and there were there were blue ghosts that were called and there it goes, what are these? I'm like, Viagra? he's like that's got a fucking ghost on it that's not a viagra, they got nicked anyway and because Northampton Crown Court was quite a big court for big stuff so like to know on that baby pee murder killing was going on it was all going through Northampton Crown Court so my case just kept getting pushed aside it wasn't big enough just kept getting pushed aside one thing what happened as well like they took a good hundred off the count of pills this is what I didn't get why? and let's say there was 250 there there were like there was 150 there I'm like class here? yeah, I'm like there's not 150 there at all you fucking pocketed 100 do you know what I mean? so whoever nicked it wasn't very legit anyway because they put a different number on so it went on and on anyway and like I said small town mentality I'd just be driving I'm bailed, I'm just be driving and pulled over randomly your car's not insured I was like your car is insured but you're talking about top of your car for us next day I get a phone call yeah come pick your car up I was at home and I've been charged for the alleged no insurance oh no no no I saw God be your God for you think I'm fake don't you like that don't obviously done something to the car so I fucking give that car away straight away got another car next minute and pulled over again because they're recognising this they're recognising my face and they're going ooh and then they're pulling me over and searching the car like I'm having to get make phone calls get out the car walk 100 metres make the phone calls that was a paranoid mess that was a fucking paranoid mess yeah that's what they're doing so what happened with the 200 to get your due? no I didn't get your due so it went on for four years it went on for four years and it worked in my favour because there was MCAT as well well that was class B so I played the guilty to the class B and not to the class A I said the class A is mine it's personal it's my shit that I take pills I weren't at this point I was being quite clever with taking the stuff at this point I used to just turn up ring someone and say come on man come on free drugs and I just have like a something like a mug they're filled with like coke and I would just like grab a spoon and go anyone who come round like days on end days on end so you got away with that one? kind of kind of kind of but didn't I did get charged but because it went on for so long like I say everyone was going back down down down down down and I went to Amsterdam and I took, I had to take stuff over there but we'd get we'd get buses from Victoria over to fucking Calais and then a different bus to fucking wherever the fuck we were going so you didn't have to go on the plane with it like shit like that we drove to Croatia me and my mate Mike MC enemy we drove to Croatia one day he weren't doing that like that he was a performer like but I was like come on let's do a fucking drive and I'm like filling that car up with shit while we go to this festival in Croatia I was doing shit like that but anyway I go to Amsterdam me thinking I'm really big ball it's not gonna search me I'm a DJing in this club called the Mel Quag in Amsterdam and I'm in there I've got a little man bag on there and I'm in the toilet and I'm with this guy and I'm a little bit of a fucker not even like trying to hide it just right in the open of the toilet so this security guard comes in anyway and he's like you come here so let me search your bag and I'm like no chance I'm like fucking no and you're not he puts me in this room and I got nicked and because I had so much honours the drug charges aren't that bad out there but because I had that much honours I had like an ounce of cork an ounce of MDMA all bagged up all fucking bagged up all bagged up so I ended up in jail in Amsterdam for two weeks Fuckin two weeks out there but what happened with this one was my ex at the time who had had the kid with she was pregnant so she was pregnant with my son and I was using a solicitor who was we couldn't speak directly but she would speak so she was putting in I'm alone I need him. I'm about to give birth. I've got an 18 month old daughter like I need him here. So I ended after two weeks I ended up getting bailed and I tell you what it was fucking horrific in that jail. It was mental. Like you'd spent 23 hours a day locked up. The obviously didn't really, there was one woman who was all right if I was like give me a book or something like that. One guy come and he threw me a book in a different language. It was like can you not give me an English book? So this woman comes back and she throws me Pete Burns or The Biography. Do you remember him? He's been me. So I was like really mate. I was like honest I was like fuck it and I read it and I was like wow good old biography. That's probably the first book I've ever read in my life. So I was like anyway I read that book. She had this solicitor. She ended up getting me bailed because they don't bail following us. That's why I was in there. I mean they were feeding. I don't know what the feeding is. Obviously mass produced bread and butter already buttered in a packet like an open packet frozen. So in the morning they're just coming for me this bread and butter frozen. So they'd wake me up and I'd have to wait for it. That's what we were eating. That's what they were giving us to eat. Just frozen bread and butter. What happens then when you get out like when she stopped all selling her drugs and that? How did you end up in the gay porn scene? So I weren't making any money. I was on the door. And then this girl I know from the rave scene she was a dominatrix and she was on adult work and the camming and all that sort of stuff. So she was working in Babylon. She was telling me about this guy she knows who does gay porn but he's straight and I was like oh well I can't do that. I was like are you mad? I was like I can't fucking do that. And then like I said the best thing I've ever done in my life was learning to not give a fuck what other people thought. Like I've always been that guy oh this person thing. This was me starting fresh again a new life all over again in Blackpool. I thought I couldn't give a fuck. Surrounded by good boxism. Surrounded by good people egging me on to train and like not people like telling me to come out and stuff like that. I just had no money. I just had no money and I was in the gym and I got funny enough not long after that conversation with her I got poached by a guy to do some modelling for a gay porn magazine not a gay magazine that was it and he's offered me 750 quid so I'm like oh fucking yeah all right and then it went from like that to will you do a wank on screen. So I was like yeah I'll I'll do that well up to a grand or something and then he was like would you ever do gay. I was like I can't do that and he went this and hear me out hear me out. He was like it's not what you think. He's like look all I need you to do is just pretend. So basically just dry humping this guy and you give me a grand for him right. Just act. That's what he's like just act. He went and then when it come together and they piece it together what he'd done was because like let's see the camera right there. He got somebody else's penetration with the hard dick and he just edited it. So he edited someone else's dick to make it look like it was going in. Do you know what I mean? Like the editing skills. I was like this is fucking easy. I was like I can definitely do this but this guy was a bit of a dick and he would ring his want you on Thursday I'd take the day off work and then he wouldn't respond for days on end. I'm like what's happening on the day and nothing. Three days they are sorry mate I had a had a bad time. I was like I'm not I'm not dealing with this guy anymore. So I knew since going on Twitter I knew what the straight man was in the gay world. It's like gold dust for some reason. Gay men love straight men. It's like a challenge I think. So I knew my worth at this point. So I just googled the top gay porn companies in the world. So come on one one to ten. Lucas Entertainment. So I looked on it. I was like apply. Within a week a couple of days I got a phone call. Can you can you do a Skype? I was like yeah cool. So I've done the Skype with him. He's like let me see your eyes or let me realise. I was right. Did you ever see the there was a Channel 5 documentary about Uncle the sex business? Did you watch it? No I think I saw that. Right well he was that was that company then. So anyways like can you take your pants off? This is all on Skype. Get hard. So I was like all right you went I saw you got a couple of minutes. I was like shouting me bird. I'm sat on the stairs and I saw me off. I said I need to get out of me off. She said what what and I was like just do it. So I went back hard and he was like right good spin around blah blah blah like next minute and then the next day I had a three-year contract to my inbox saying this you'll come to Mexico on such and such date. It was like a week later. Spend two weeks in Mexico. So I'm like are you going to get a grand scene? I was like right this is fucking perfect. It was like this is fucking. Anyway he tells me to log in. He tells me to log in and watch some of the stuff. Now that's not for me that. So anyway I watched it and I was like this is hardcore. Like this was real shit. There's no faking involved in this one. This was hardcore. I was like I don't fucking fucking do this and I thought I'm fucking anywhere I'm going to Mexico. I was like I'll tell him there when I get there. I can't do it. Let's get the get the holiday first and I think I'm going to spend two weeks and I was skinned. I'm fucking skinned so I might at least get the holiday. So when I get there he didn't tell me this. I want to get there to use a jab. So jab you in the dick called Trimix. Super super strength flake erectile dysfunction medication. You can only really get it in America but it fucking works. So the second that goes in you just massage it and within a minute you're pointing to the moon if you get to go nowhere. So that I was like oh shit I can crack on now. I can like just do the job what I'm supposed to do without having to be around. It didn't matter what what I looked at because it can be off putting when you're looking down because it's a man and there's no disrespect to anyone who does like that but it's not my thing. So when I'm looking down I'm like oh but then it's just acting and within America it's all about energy which is like mourning. You've not noticed the American porn stars are way more like cringy than oria. It's all about this energy and it's just like ah like shit like that. So I was doing it anyway and I was good at it but because I was like the only straight man the only British man full of tattoos like heterosexual looking like I was like gold dust to this company so I was probably divin it I want more money I want more scenes I want I want this that the other because one guy tried to get in my bed with us like we're all in this in this villa we're all like sharing kind of rooms in this villa like four people in a room or something like that this guy climbs in my bed starts and I'm gonna go mental screaming two o'clock in the morning the the guy who wants the company's like what's going on I'm not having this I'm like do you know what I mean they must have just thought he must he must be a little bit gay or or I'm blagging it or something like that a lot of people pretend to be straight because they can get more money but you can't pretend to be straight if there's camp guys pretending to be straight you just can't pull it off yeah do you know what I mean obviously going to be question matter today to be doing gay porn or doing kissing guys something guys whatever it is then you're going to be thinking I say do you know what I mean like like how is that feeling then to be straight got a missus to then be doing gay porn is that just to block it out like it was the money it was the fucking money I needed the money it was a grand it was a grand scene and like when I went to Mexico for them two weeks I had 10 scenes much a scene a grand scene what was it like your first scene it was but it was hard it was hard but I met this lad he was quite cool American dude and we went out for a drink the night before and he said look all you need to do is just energy just morn don't look at the camera know where the camera like he was really telling me through it all and when I'd done it I bossed that first scene like the the the guy was buzzing with us the guy warned it was like like cool absolutely buzzing but it was quite like mentally challenging let's say to do it but once I'd done about five six scenes I was like I knew what to do I knew like when you watch that channel five thing there's a thing there's a point at one point where the they go cut and it's an it's a fucking big orgy there's five lads so they go cut and these lads carry on they're still like neck and arm of each other and you just see me and I kind of go grab my phone and I'm just sat there like you have to stay where you are because the camera let's just say that the changing back leaves on the camera you still have to stay where you are because otherwise you've got to be in this it looked weird wouldn't it coming back to it if you've moved spots so how to stay where I was and then as soon as they go cameras rolling actually I'll just throw my phone and it's like back into it like straight back into the character so I could get into character good I was good at the job and when people used to go to those I mean you look like you're enjoying it I was like good because I'm good at what I do like I'm good this is how I ended up getting into the straight stuff because I knocked all that on the head because that stuff I'm telling you about I've done it for a couple years I've done made a lot of money mate I made a fucking lot of money from it because only fan I started before only fans become a thing so I was all over Twitter I grew a following of up to like 90k do you know me then only fans come about like and I weren't doing much only fans just a little bit so couldn't be asked that I seen only fans as not making money I wanted the money get paid get the do the job get the money not make some content and then potentially get some money because I've seen that making content is not working it was too I couldn't cross the barriers from porn to to only fans so I was just doing the poem but I was making a lot of money mate I was making the fucking shit on the money which put me in a good position um to get out of me I was living in this shitty piss stinking flat with nothing I had nothing mate like I could barely go and see my kids because I couldn't afford to get to see them in Wigan so I was getting trains to them couldn't afford it like I couldn't have them come to mind because the flat was a danger to them it was like radiators hanging off it's rank mate it was fucking right then I started making some money my bird she knew all about it as soon as I got into the pond I was already with her so I told her she was someone I had met in the gym prior told her what I'm doing she was like you're cool she's like you're not gay you're not gay that's what you're gonna go and do that's what you're gonna go and do so it's mad at on it because if I was with a bird then unless you get sleep you're a guy you're gonna go off your nut but if it was with a bird you'd be thinking ah fuck it it's weird the way they fucking mind is but for you like then doing the boxing been in the army causing trouble in and out of jail selling drugs to then being on that gay scene like how hard is that for you to try and go fuck it because obviously you must have got a lot of stick from family friends and people thinking well he's living a lie mate so the rave scene found out first so I was quite well known in the rave scene I was grafting I was the big DJ um because that DJ is all over the world mate a biffa magaloth Toronto I got booked in Japan at one point I didn't go but I got booked in Japan like some quite big gigs so quite a few people knew who I was and then somebody found out and they made the memes that you know I mean it was just flying around it was flying around the north east's mchina scene I was telling you about it was flying around the hardcore scene like these memes these everyone taking the pace like and it got to us it did get to us bad um I don't know why this was before I learned to not give a fuck it was round about this time I've done it I just thought you know what just fucking embrace it just this is what I'm doing why am I asked about what some people who were acquaintances a few years ago are now thinking about me made a new Facebook fucked them off fucked that Facebook off blah blah blah had no one this Facebook I wasn't seeing raves and stuff to make me go oh I want to rate I was just seeing like posts from boxers and other stuff that was making me go and training hard and make me think this is what I need to do to be because I wanted at this point whatever I've done whatever I've put my hand to I've ended up getting quite big at it soon as I started producing music and that joe you took me under his wing show me I think I got quite good at it so then when I started boxing I was like this is my next one this is the next chapter in my life I'm going to do something I was like I'm not going to go far I was like but I'm going to fight on some big shows and stuff was that to them but doing the gay scene where people think I fuck him this and that to them boxing is after balance outlet I'm still a tough man like they were both the same time literally as I started boxing I started doing the thing boxing was before it about about a week two weeks something like that very very close together and I told everyone in the gym brine rows and that I told them all and they would just like I just thought but people shocked yes and no because if you knew me as a person if you knew me well enough you you wouldn't be surprised it's not as after those rumors before in the army you fucking suck north guys are you doing this that there's suspicion it's just a case of you being in the army and out of jail to then fucking do well there was a lot of girls who I'd been with in like north hampton or whatever like that and when things were going around north hampton people these girls were like he's not fucking gay well if he is like he's he's he's doing well because it's not as if you're you're fucking doing these scenes it's not as if it's blatantly there so why would you fucking hide it I know but it was like but it is a it is a mad thing to think that a straight man doing that it's mad obviously you get acting maybe guys kiss stuff like that's understand I had to do all that and go full blown what was the worst kind of stuff you had to do the kissing the kissing so for the for the Lucas entertainment we had to kiss now I was like look I'm not putting a dick in my mouth the first scene I don't because I desperately needed the money it's like I had fucking sold my soul this and this was the one because I was like I don't mind like look I'm getting hard but putting I've got bad gag reflexes me I'm telling it bad so do I just try that but just try it and I thought I need the fucking money so I can't be going home empty handed he had all these figured out what I was spending the money on like I owed money out to people and not only that I had to sort my life out like I said I was living in a fucking shit hole like I had to so I had to get some money get a car sort my life out like and I just kept thinking I'm gonna be able to provide for my kids soon because I'm gonna get this money and that's all what I was like really worried about was not it's been a shit dad because I'm not saying my dad wasn't a shit dad at all but I didn't see him I didn't see him when I went to Newcastle it's not his problem it was like my mom's problem I would we would travel and see each other sometimes when it weren't a lot so I always thought like I'm always gonna be there for my for my kids because I knew what it was like not having my actual dad around so I was like I'm gonna be there for them and that's how I was thinking it is the the money the the this is gonna change my life effectively changing the kids life so he wanted me to suck a dick so anyway I've put it in my mouth and I've just I've just fucking threw up everywhere everywhere I had to stop the set clean up everyone get changed showered everything he was like right no more dick for Jody no more no more sucking dick for Jody just just you do you don't need to do it I was like fuck for that that was the problem but I had to kiss so when you can feel like you know you've got a bit of struggle in that when you can feel it on the mouth that was on but I've got a staying character I've got to be enjoying it because I'm acting so I'm I'm having to like and I'm used to say to them all all the time I'd be like just before it would start I'd be no tongue I was like do not put your tongue on my mouth so it would just be like the lips no tongue that was my rule do not put your tongue in my mouth because I would just stop and then that was ruin the the the camera cameras rolling you may as well because I got to the point where I realised how it was the longer they made you the the camera guy stop and do stuff the longer the scene would go so I would try and remember what we were going to do the transitions the where we start and where we end in wherever the comfort scene is going to be and I would try and bang it all out in one one take so I would go right we should transition in from see we start off here and then he starts sucking or whatever I would then go right the next round be thinking the next transition is him bent over there because you had to do stills first so you went through you'd speak through what the positions would be and then they would get stills and it would be fake common you'd be that like for the still pictures because you couldn't do the stills after because you'd either be sweating maybe they'd make up to you and everything like put high level productions these in villas and like all luxurious places around the world I must have cost them a fortune but then what's he making that's what my question was what the fuck are you making because I know what I was being paid I know how much it cost me to get there and I'm thinking there's 40 models here we're in a massive villa that's costing a bomb so um was anybody in the same position as you no doing it for money doing it to try and provide everyone who I worked with on that company that will go has the only straight one how do you think your kids now obviously you're not thinking then you just want to try and provide get a better house to try and give them what they can because I had Sophie Andersson on the porn stand she done escort and she done porn everything to try and provide her kid with the most material stuff but now they've kind of had a wobble where the kids at schoolings kind of getting teased that yeah do you think that can affect your kids as they got older well my kids are gonna know to handle themselves so they'll be able to crack them but no because what I was thinking at the time I did think that a few times I did think is that is it going to affect them but the way the world is moving more and more things are becoming acceptable some really weird things are becoming normal so I thought by the time they're old enough to even understand what porn is either I'm going to be way past that or the world's going to be totally changed I don't want to be like politically incorrect here but some people don't know whether the male or the female they're going through some very mental barriers but I thought as things are getting more this was unheard of 10 15 years ago even even when I was a kid being gay it was quite yeah I hope this speaks out I believe that's why a lot of people a lot of men struggle with their mental health I believe a lot of men are I know gay or bisexual where they're just too embarrassed they're ashamed even in this day we've only got one footballer it's ever come out again I think that was only a few weeks ago like it's sad today I don't I don't give a fuck who yeah I've got many gay friends that are the best cunts in the on the world yesterday about fucking crazy and throaty when they're drunk but not ass just just know your boundaries not a man like ever too fast like just as long as you're not hurting anybody like be who you want to be in this as long as you're not hurting as long as you're not forcing your agenda on to people because I think we're living in a place where if people don't go with their own agenda then they start turning on you everybody sees a world definitely like I believe there's male female two genders that's it but if you want to change I'd do that then do that that's you yeah that's you so who fucking cares by force me and say oh but we're this and that I want to be a pander or an elephant or a fucking I want to identify as a man fucking do it but I don't don't push it on to me it's like vegan isn't it when vegans push vegan isn't it everything is this and that we're all see the world just a little differently like how did you so were you shagging guys in that then yeah yeah or you mean but you weren't they getting shagged out of no I was the top I was I'm not the yeah I'm the I'm the stabberman did that make you feel more but it was like more manly though that you never really lost your femininity so in the in the straight world that's just fucking weird to everyone right but in the gay world you're like an alpha like an alpha top like it's especially when you look like I'm going to say I look like I do but do you know what I mean like full of tattoos quite muscular like it's they were just calling like the one term I didn't like was daddy but I don't because I am a daddy like it's not not and then they just start calling you alpha sort of thing like people people with mental money man like this one guy in the New York it works at the new yw yw yw yw yw yw yw yw yw yw yw yw stock exchange he's in his 80s yeah he's a consultantが man is ours sexually, right? It can be quite ruthless at times. Just want to think with your dick. And it's usually the woman say the man need to that the woman to try. I've been say concerned some gay man and didn't had any going back or going to the scenes in Mexico, New York or like. I was filming scenes all over the fucking world. It was good. Wel ydy'r gwahod ddim yn fwg. Taeth nid o'n rhoi wedi gwahod. O'r gwoethio ddweud i chi ei wneud i ddweudio. A dwi'n meddwl ei awg sydd yn gwneud. Yn y ddweud i Gaeladau, mae'n go. Os yn ymddangos ar y cas iweg, mae'n meddwl. Mae'n meddwl i'n meddwl ei awg sydd yn meddwl i'ch meddwl i'ch meddwl. Mae'r bedd ac mae'n meddwl gwneud yn dwych wahanol. Gallwch chi oeddi'n meddwl i'ch meddwl i'ch meddwl i'ch meddwl. they just love the roofless mate, the roofless Do you get tested a lot? Yeah, bad tested, you have to have a fresh shirt if you rack up and you haven t got a fresh shirt or something like that you're gone, you're not on set. See you later probably make it pay yourself to get on you've got to have a fresh shirt and it's got to be it can't just be the text from the gum clinic it's got to be a privately done certificate, like a shirt so they usually cost if you go to the ordinary gum clinic about 40 quid Felly oedodd byddwch i ymddangos hosbwych, gwybod yn gwneud 300 quyd daddiadu, mae'r hollb defnyddio'r bwysig. Felly mae'n gofio ar y cyfrifio? Felly mae'n gwneud, mae'n gwneud ddoddiad ddoddiadu? Felly mae'n gwneud. Felly mae'r gallu caen oedd, mae hyn oedd gwneud. Felly mae wedi gwneud, ar ôl 3 ddisgrunio, mae hyn oedd eisiau hyd yn ei hyn oedd hynod, mae yna unrhyw oedd yn gwneud. Mae'r rhai gwahanol. ond mae'r meddwl ei bod yn cael cyngorlau, rwy'n meddwl ei ddim yn ei ffordd, ac yn ystod, iawn i'n meddwl HIV. Felly, ydych chi'n meddwl HIV, dyna'ch gyffodusio ar hyn, mae'r gweithio'r ystod, y cyngorlau ac mae'r gweithio ar y cwm, mae'n credu pethau i'r cyffodusio, mae'n cael ei ffordd o'n meddwl i'r cyffodusio. felly byddwn yn y ffordd, ac mae'n mynd i'w ffoelio i'ch gweithio. Pwy o'r rhan o'r ystyried, i'w gweithio, i'w ddysgu'n gwasanaeth. Felly gael ddyn nhw'n ddim yn ysgrifennu am ystod, a dyna'n wneud eich bod yn ystod. Mae'n eich bod yn gweithio i'w ddysgu'n gweithio ac mae'n gweithio i'w ddysgu'n gweithio. Mae'r eich bod yn negatif i'w ddysgu'n gweithio ar y stryd yn rhan. A'r hoffau, a dyna'n hoffau i'w hoffau, P-R-E-P. It is the jail. Was that always a concern for you though, being a straight man and then fucking guys? Yeah, it was. I'm all in a lie, it was. Always that. But it was the money again and then I'm like, is the money worth having this? Well if this happens then I was always thinking about it but so long as you're careful it's just got a bad rep the porn scene, haven't it? But they're fucking super tested. Like the likes of Sophie Anderson and Rebecca Moore, them sort of levels. They're getting tested fortnightly. Ffortnightly they're getting tested. Like Sophie Anderson's partner at the time, whether we're doing the cocked destroyers, they were getting tested fucking God knows how many times because it was so, them cocked destroyers blew up, do you remember them? Yeah they were talking about it. I had Sophie Anderson on, she just went mega. You should get Rebecca on, I'll put you on to her. Yeah I'll have her on. Yeah, so them, well anyway, so add on this channel five thing. So when you were saying about before like, was it difficult like, so when I was in Blackpool this was my life now. So the only person I cared about giving a fuck about was anybody who was in my life or them in the rave scene, fuck them, you're in the past now. I'm not asked about you, what you think about me. I'm doing this now. So I'm going to have to tell everybody in the gym, I'm going to have to tell everyone in Blackpool because it's the internet and Blackpool's a gay town. It's quite a big gay town in Blackpool so there's a lot of gay people and you see the flags all over the place. So I thought, I'm going to have to say something. So I started telling everyone and I was on, funny enough, back to that first charge where I got caught with the pills. That dragged on for four years. By the time it come to actually getting seen to, I had changed my life and I was living in Blackpool. I was training, I was working out of Brian Rose's gym. I was training, so which is mad, I went from one year of participating in ultra white collar boxing to a year later teaching them because I started working, but I worked in one gym over the road. I fought that off. It was a big changed gym, the gym group. I fought them off, went over to Brian's, took all my clients with his to Brian's, come in there and because I was getting padded by like Bobby Rimmer, big pro coach, I was like, I can do this and then someone will come in and I'll be like, come on, let's do a bit of that. And I just got better and better and better. And then Brian said to us because Bobby's not, Bobby's not, he's a pro coach. It's not up to him to teach you, turn that jab over, keep that. Like it's not, he's passed that. He's a pro trainer. He's like training people who already know that. So Brian physically pulled me to a side and he was like, you've got something new. He was like, I can see it in you. He was like, because I was progressing quite quick. He was like, you've got, you've got what it takes. He's like, I want, he's like, I want you. Even all this was his gym. He's like, I want you to go to sharp style, which was an amateur gym. He says, I want you to speak to a guy called Tom Scott, who he knew well. He's a fucking blinding coach. Like he's like, go on, go on and see him. Now I was fighting that Friday. I hadn't spoken to Tom yet. I was fighting that Friday and I've seen him there. He was, his bird was boxing and he was warming her up. And I says, he went, no, I'm warming you up. I said, no, I ain't got anyone else with us. I went, come on. So he started warming us up within seconds. He went, you need to twist that over that mate. You're not fully extending. You need to, and he's like, I was like, I need to get in with you. And he went, come down next week. He said, we'll do some from over here. And me and him like went like that then. We like just gelled me and him. So I had the money mate. I was doing the pawn and I had quite a good, I had good money. So I was seeing these like top coaches every day, Monday to Friday. Every single day to pay him 100, 150 a week. I didn't know when asked. I was just paying it just to get the better. And I was training with Tom for a good year and a half and I was fighting under him. We don't fuck him well. I think I went undefeated under him to be fair. And then I did lose a fight against an ex-pro called Martin King. How was that feeling like? I went asked. I went asked because I didn't want to lose, obviously, but I got the call three weeks. Will you fight this? And they all knew I didn't want, I didn't want journeyman. I always used to say do not give me a journeyman because I don't want to go in there knowing I'm supposed to win this fight. I'll get no pride out of that. I have to, I want to. I like not like being the underdog and improving everyone wrong. Do you feel as if I've actually been your whole life though? Yeah, yeah. And I don't know what I have to believe to myself when I was doing the music. I believed in myself. I still do the music now. I'm never going to DJ again because the lifestyle was horrific. Like I said I was getting on it all the time but I've still got my studio at home. I still make music because that's what I'm passionate about. I'm super love music. It's my thing, like even more than boxing. But boxing keeps me on the straight line. How were you treated though, like saying you're a straight man to being in gay porn to then like how did you feel as if you constantly had to justify yourself? Yeah, not really. How did you deal with that? Some people what I'd done was like I said before that, that I got on to teach I'm fucking babbling now on. So when I was teaching that white collar I ended up getting letter, recognition or whatever of Brian and ultra white collar boxing to say I took part in teaching the white collar boxing and I had helped raise like 50 grand for cancer research. This was all going in my favour for when I went to core. I'd turned my life around. I've moved out of the area. I've helped in charities. I don't mean so. I ended up getting community service. So when I was on community service and that I would just be the first because everyone knew. It was a small again, small town mentality of Blackpool. Everyone knew each other. So everyone knew what I'd done but I was the first to take the piss out myself if a joke arised. I would be the one to like take the piss out myself and just tell everybody what I'd done. I remember meeting Jack Arnfield another boxer, big name boxer from Blackpool. He was on community service for something he had done and he got baddened from boxing because of it or suspended from boxing and then I'm in there and someone's like asking what he does for a living. So he's like what? And I tell him and he's like he's laughing his head off. He's like fuck off. And I'm like unsefious. He's like I don't. He's like you're all having me on. So I was like and he's like oh! He's like what the fuck but like the old respect it is for speaking about it rather than just being caught out because like I see the rave scene found out first at this point I thought I don't care about yous. What I do care about is everyone with in boxing. So I just started telling everyone yeah this is what I do. Even Brian said to us at one point he's like I had my own. He's like because you do them what you need to do to earn money. He refuses the situation as well. I thought they can have anything against you. Listen it's not a fucking worst case scenario but again. It's legal. Did you have obviously if you're doing being the straight man, being in gay porn did you ever have the so-called straight man ever trying to approach you and trying fucking put it on you? Once you were married and shit. Yes. Yes. Now. Because even though you're saying that I'm not this and that and they're thinking life faster. Because I am. Yeah. Nick quite common you know. Quite like Philip's Goffield shit proper common mate. That's not just one off that. That's because back then when they were like say the generation above me like in the 40s I'm 34 now. The ones in the 40s out of the 50s they couldn't come out back then. It weren't normal. They've built life's. They've built wife's houses children. They just can't and I'd be getting these messages all the time and I'm like I'm like I'm sorry mate but and they're like yeah but like 500 quid and I'm like I can't like I'm not the porn star. That injection was the porn star because without that injection I weren't getting it up. Simple as that's when people are like oh you're an amazing porn star but I'm not because without that I can't do the job. Do you know what I mean? There's other porn stars who would have been and they would have been gay but like I say I just told everybody I did get a lot of people. I had a few handful of people who would be like super against it and I remember this one guy in Blackpool constantly messaging this you gay can't like this like I'm going to fucking do this I want to do that and the more I think about it I'm like yeah. He's fucking angry country. You know that arse? And I'm like I know why yous are all like this because I've got the balls to go I'll fuck a fucking man for money. Yeah I'll fucking do that I'll do that and they haven't got the balls to just come out about their own life. That's their sexuality like they are gay but they can't come out because they're so worried about what you see it all the time like a lot of gay people to say the biggest thing ever for them was like telling the parents telling people look I'm gay and then once they've done it it's like well I'm me now do you know what I mean? But some of these people they're trapped. It's a shame man and I don't like it fucking Elton John I think George Michael Freddie Mercury I think they were all married Yeah and it's fucking sad but I get in 2022 things aren't moving forward to people to just be themselves because when you watch that film of Elton John and he's married where he's married did you watch the film? Yeah yeah and then someone goes but you're homosexual and then he goes and this one goes icy and then he goes would it matter if I was? and they're like no he's like I'm a homosexual man like just like that boom and then they turned and can fuck it be you then do you not hide in yourself are you? Same happened with my brother one of my brothers he's gay and he was so homophobic when he was younger me so homophobic and now he's the campus of the camp he's fucking gay he's gay gay do you know what I mean? and he I remember when pink t-shirts were in like years ago like pink for cost or something like that I've been fucking pink years ago they come back again don't they? so I'll be wearing like pink to go out and map him from there and he'll be like pink he's fucking buff and then when I found out he was gay I was like me dad told us and I was like no and then obviously I've since getting into the industry I've realised the more homophobic you are you are the more lately you are gay I think that is real mate I think that the more homophobic you are that you are gay because why are you asked? to give us a fuck with that if someone comes to you and goes I'm gay I'm not but all right cool don't stop them being them does it? they're still that person that's still John that's still like whoever do you know what I mean? it's still that person who you knew anyway it doesn't change them just because they they like men behind closed doors or whatever yeah so how does a man go from the gay ponsyn to then being world champion bare knuckle boxer like that's another two ends of respect from man mate like I say when I was at Bryan's and that with Tom Scott I put the graft in mate I put the graft in like they say put the work in you'll you'll get somewhere boxing was getting to the point where I like to say I took that fight with it on three weeks notice against the next poor and I took it because I thought I get beat for the next point and what Martin King experienced as fuck amateur fought like Brian Mores he fought Jack Armfield he fought some some he beat Mick Hall funny enough Mick Hall's a fucking good box and he beat Mick Hall so in my head I'm going in there like I'm nothing to lose it was a four rounder bashing my head to pieces touch wood I've never been knocked out yet and I've not been stopped or anything like that I have been stopped sorry this this one but it was he'd done three rounds to the head and I'm just literally like my head getting rocked all over the place I was still good and he fought the final round he was like I'm going to his body and he just started ripping into my body that's when you can't take it man you would have had a body shot yourself yeah so on mate fucking horrible on mate like so you take the knee and you're at 10 seconds and I'm like oh my gosh I get back up again he comes in boom he's obviously just flip body shot and I'm like oh I'm down again and get back up but I'm just the ref's just like you're fucking don't have to cut and breathe you can't get your breath back but Alex I didn't care you learn you learn from everyone everyone you've had on your podcast or policy the same thing you don't lose you learn and I'm at that level it's unlicensed it doesn't matter he just wanted a final final fight like back he's retired from pro there's one more fight sort of thing so after that I knew I'm only getting these fucking hard fights and people are buying tickets and they're coming too much when we get beat because directs pose the good leveled people and after that I've really really got into MMA I've got into MMA I've always I stopped watching boxing because it was so corrupt I started watching these 50-55 MMA I thought I'm gonna fucking do this and I was always the kid who thought even when I was 20 I'm too old to box I didn't stop boxing until I was 28 when I walked into that to do ultra wide collar boxing I was 28 I'd never put a glove on before in my life and I thought in these mad couple of years I've got quite far I've only been doing it six years now and I'm BKB World Champ and I've just been a fucking killer easy easily beat him as well like it just anyway I went into MMA I don't have a man I had two fights I thought he was a really good guy who was from BKB right he had fought Franco legend yeah legend he had fought some big names in his name was Adam Gorghan and I fought him in my debut and I made well experience well experience so I stopped the weed on that fight because I'm bad on the weed fucking so bad I stopped the weed for that 17 weeks in total and I stopped for that right ended up going to Connor vs Khabib in Vegas got tickets for that you know who paid for it Cuntfock Cuntfock paid for it yeah yeah yeah he paid for it so I was like I'm on the phone to him and I'm like this got announced and he's like master he's like I would do anything for my English god do do do mental mate so I'm like well I made me bird we want to go to Connor Khabib flights of this much tickets of this much so they're like if I've gotten it up to my account cool nice one mate sort of this out this was the week before my my MMA debut against Adam Gorghan so as I'm out there weed's legal isn't it so I'm Vegas first time in my life and I'm just like oh fuck it I'm having some I'm having some and I had to make weight the next week so I was quite I did drink but I just didn't eat all weekend just thought if I'm going to put calories in this just let it be alcohol totally wrong mentality for a fighter like I don't know where it comes from that and I'm still like that now but I come back and forth I'm going now I knocked him out and he's for some big names and Ben Ochl he was at the time a big name in BKB so I had one more fight in MMA and I realised I don't like this grammar I come up against two strikers so I was lucky I knocked them both out but what I loved was like as soon as I'd come down to the little gloves four names me by the way it because it was amateur yeah so as soon as I come down to the small gloves and like people would like dropping off jabs and stuff I thought because I thought I've got power me I I already knew I had power because everyone would say that but this was when I was seeing it I was just seeing people like just drop and I'm like right this is it and then when I was getting like I went to this wrestling club and I got like obliterated by a 14 year old like dragged me to the ground like I was so disheartened so I thought this in for me this I thought I'm not going to be able to learn this all this mixed martial arts like I'm late to the game as it was with striking how am I going to learn wrestling and jiu jitsu stuff what takes years and years and years to master so I thought I'm moving on and I contacted BKB they didn't they didn't get in touch with us for ages kept kept kept doing it and then Jack Armfield from Blackpool he was he was he's been suspended from boxing so he done a BKB just to get him a a camp going while he was just suspended and I begged him he was getting a phone call while we were on that community service bus and it was Jim Freeman one of the owners of BKB and I was like but anyway yeah he wants me I'm like me do me a favour man I'm like come on get me on get me so he was like all right I'll have a word anyway next minute I got an I got an opponent who I mentioned his name because I don't want to give him any light but he's a dickhead but I was the easy opponent for him he's just he's won it Believe it or not there's a lot of poster boys in BKB there's a lot who will turn down fights I'll fight anybody and they thank you these boys Sean George Tyler Good John like yeah swinging like these boys don't matter who you are Ryan Barrett Daniel Podmore like these are the cruiser weights the heavyweight champions and stuff there's a select few in each division who will fight anybody but there's also these ones who won't fight anybody nice you heard Scott McHugh oh man look into Scott McHugh glad from Leeds he's not the greatest of boxing at all hands down sometimes but he's just got like he will just walk forward boom but he does mad cunt yeah oh man he's a sick he's all so empty he's got to be a mad cunt got to do that fucking bare knuckle shit everybody I've spoke to Tyler Franco I'm going to get Sweeney on that they're just animals but yeah it seemed you speak to some of the sweetest fucking people on the planet you would never think if you seen them you'd think I could take him and then you see them train and then you think all in bows the humble crackers we don't need to be was Tyler not in the fucking pot he was in the porn games yeah so tell him that um so this is how to mean Tyler become me so when this um when this channel five thing come out so we're at BKB now at this point I'm now stepping into the BKB world I'm leaving obviously in Blackpool I didn't want the BKB lot to know about it I had that much stick I just couldn't be arsed going over it again yeah it's got to the point where it's everyone's forgot about it now in Blackpool no one's really talking about it I knew it was going to start off again but I'd done this sex business program I didn't know when it was coming out or what so anyway it comes out one day this Friday my fucking um phone's blowing up my phone's blowing up right and then I had to pull out of the fight so why so I got into a bit of road rage right with someone and his fault obviously I went to pull out doing it accidentally and I'm like oh and he's like that you just didn't look both both ways sort of thing and he's like oh yeah and I was like whoa so anyway he's in front of us and he's sticking his fingers out like that he's like wank that and all this and I thought so anyway I was going left and he was going left as well and whilst we're driving along the street it's one way like oh there's WLs on one side of the road and everyone parks on the other side so there's always like only room for like sort of one car so he drives up to the top and he stops I've got no way of driving left right to get out of here gets out his car can't reverse enough and like that so I get out the car and I'm like what and he's like you fucking that I was like come storming at it so I just jabbed him and I hit his tooth that's what that little scar is at hit his tooth and it's split open so by the advice of another fighter um he's like don't tell don't tell Jim and Joe don't don't they just just glue it get some gorilla glue ex-squaddy smudger it was another leads that legend and he's like just glue it go I was like like cool glued it sort of fucking glued it together anyway this big fucking thing or that I thought yeah we're cool because I told the promoters that I'd hit a bag wrong and it had gashed open no one fucking believed it but I didn't want to tell them I was having fights in the street so um I left it anyway two days before the fight honestly mate my hand was a balloon affected it was infected yet and I was like it'll go down it'll go down and me burns a nurse at the time so she's like damn you need to get that look and I'm like I'm fucking good man I'm not pulling out of this fight like not worse so especially this opportunity it was a London or two like I'm nobody jack onfield had sorted this out for me like I can't pull out of this it started coming up on my arm got to about here like I went to the hospital and they were like if you had left that another day you could have been losing your arm so I was like I had to pull out like it was fucking massive I sent pictures to the promoter one hands out here and the other ones just normal so I had to pull out but then this the the fight was on the Saturday that Friday beforehand which I think was the 10th of September 2019 that fucking program come out so then the next day everybody was talking about it I was at this this bkb no one was saying anything physically but I knew they were talking about it so I had everybody this person who I was supposed to be fighting is stupidly homophobic right still to this day right it's because me and him I've got beef yeah because he started putting statuses about this right about all of that and then a few people were getting involved with the banter and I get it I do get it it's funny and it's weird I do get it now but at the time I was fucking fuming so I started fucking screaming at the promoter blah blah blah promoters just like this is a fucking dickhead fuck me off anyway every time I was like trying to get another fight I was trying to remake this fight with this guy and we were trying to get it done I don't know why it didn't get done but then anyway after it didn't get done he fought somebody else a journeyman and then um I kept texting my kb and they weren't having none of it I thought the fuck on me off because of this I thought the fuck on me off because of like this all this gip hoping it weren't it was just this I don't know I was just nobody so I went to another company a sort of low level company bare knuckle and then up north and I had one fight with them and then covid kicked so all through covid and stuff like that I was laughter between the bare knuckle community because I was the gay boy yeah I was like that that's what it was like and there was there was no way of me proving what I can do I'd had this one fight who against a bit of a journeyman as well he can only fight he was putting fun to your content it was my debut so I took the fight fought beat him in the first round and then after that I was like I was just trying to like I was just being stocked from being in the bare knuckle community put that way everybody laughing about us everybody knew this was the thing like no publicity is bad publicity so when people are making these memes these big name fighters are making names and they're talking about us you're still talking about us so when I was at this other company everyone still knew who Damograffin was because how could you not know who Damograffin was because he's the one who fucks guys there's no in it so how would you not know that's that fucking gay porn star like that was on the tv about it like all this so like I say no publicity is bad publicity so even though people were all in these banter groups taking the piss out of us you're still talking about us just everyone still knows who I am so then I fought somebody else right a guy from Leeds and I knocked him out in 10 seconds but if he had won that fight they would call me the bare knuckle bummer that's great fun it is isn't it so I see online I see online the chatting right and this pickles goes one of the promoters had said something on this pickles goes oh yeah but I'm going to destroy the bare knuckle bummer and I'm telling you it was just lighting fucking fire underneath it's like do you know you're not so anyway I've knocked him out in 10 seconds if one of the first right hands are through straight through the middle just smashed his eye open to pieces then I think BKB were like all right hang on but still not saying anything and then I fought somebody else for a european title this guy who I was telling you about before who I don't want to mention his name he then signed for BFBA so I'm going give me that fight get to the promoter please give me that fight like we've got beef this is a marketable fight like he's he's good don't get me wrong he's good but he hasn't got any balls yeah he's he's he's good with his hands but he won't fight anybody on his level he only wants to fight people below he's also he wipes through them so it means one of them he's just got no game about him so when it come down to it I've physically messaged him and said look are we gonna get this fight done or what and he's like nah he's like nah I'm not I'm not doing that anyway the promoter said look he doesn't want to fight me he's like if he loses to you it's like it's it's bad food reputation and at this point I thought this is bullshit like I've just won the european title he's fighting for the world title but I'm so is that me just capped now at the european title for this for this company for it's just me capped now and I thought I was playing game anyway because I wanted to fight him so much like I seriously disliked the guy yeah and he's still now to this day writing gay statuses about us this that I'm not fighting him because he's fucking I'm mentioning things like what if I got HIV I mean I was physically getting these and all these tests I was getting done I was passing them to the promoter so I was going just in case just in case anyone because there's a lot of blood involved didn't there and I knew it would be an excuse for them so I was like just in case so like he was going back and going look mate he showed us certificates like he's negative on everything he's like ah this I can't make like and he physically messaged us one day I don't know whoever fighter would do this he said that stop mentioning my name he said please it's like fair player you've won blah blah blah I'm never gonna fight you he went the thing is he went what if I lost he went if I lost a fight to you I'd never be able to live it down and I thought who's saying that what sort of fighter physically says to another fighter what if I lost I've lost them all because you used to shine guys yeah with that ono but I would be fucking scared to a man who used to shine guys on the street I think there was a follow-up that says shagging girls is for poofs and that was I'm mad because he was that fucking nurse and he's like fucking shagging girls is for poofs that I'm thinking I'm thinking this mad bastard's just fucking doing what he wants I would be fucking wearing but again to be even if something was gay and that's saying you won't go if I lost to you that's not a bad thing it doesn't mean fuck all I've said this over and over like he needs to stop concentrating on what I'm doing out of the ring concentrating on what I'm doing in the ring because at the end of the day I'm a fighter every fighter has a fucking hustle they have to because you don't make that much money from fighting like eating sponsors come on board yeah money comes and goes whatever but you can't not have a side hustle whether you have a full-time job you can have the full-time job but then you haven't got the time to train freely don't know what I mean and there's a lot of people whether it be legal activities like drugs there's a lot of it everyone will become a big draw though because of your background and the shit that you've caused yeah I think so yeah it got to a point where like like I've got a big it's not a massive following but a bigger following than there's a lot of it and some of them the Bernocl fighters they don't get a big support it's still a very low organisation it's nowhere near the UFC or boxing but potentially in the next five years 10 years I don't everybody loves combat sports I don't see why it can't be it's big what were you more nervous at taking drugs through the airport bernocl, fos bernocl ffai a'r siargyn a gai fos bernocl ffai a'r siargyn a gai ffai'r siargyn a gai ffai'r siargyn a gai yeah he was fucking super like I said it was mentally challenging that bad super super bad there was times in in the airport once I was going and you know what he fucking tapped me down right cos he I went through the machine he went what's that and I was I was pissed cos I was used to sitting in loungers mate and I pulled out a packet of fags and in there was like about four five grams of MDMA and he was chatting to his his co-worker like this and he goes and he pulls it out and I swear to God I must have just started sweating I was red and he literally goes da da da da da I was on talking and I walked through and even like me mates were like like that was that was a close call like there's been somebody looking out for me you know quite a lot of times when I said I crashed that car and I should have died like someone's looking out for me up there yeah people are more protected than others in the probably spiritual world I might seem mad for people but they are so what was your world title like like short like when you go through everything in life from being in the army being a bit of a loose cannon kind of your step dance probably seen the potential and if you screwed the head like you screwed the head you done well on the DJing thing you done well on the gay porn scene and now you're flying so whatever you put your mind to you do become creamy to crop but what was it like getting your world title short so like I say they wouldn't give me this fight against the guy who ducks everyone so um I was like whatever and because I had had drama with BKB promoters in the past I didn't know how this was going to go I still had his number I was fucking buzz him up I'm like and I'm thinking this is going to go one way or the other he's going to hear me out or he's going to say fuck off he said fuck off I'm done in bare knuckle so that other company BFBA that's fucking dog shit dog shit company nothing come in comparison to to BKB like there's some good fighters on there who are coming from BKB but it's just because they're getting dropped by BKB or like that guy I'm talking about he just was turning everyone down he was a big jaw for them but he was just turning down every time you'd get a big name he'd turn them down oh no I need an easy find so they were just like they're not about that BKB fuck off so they got rid of him he went to this still couldn't get that fight right ring and gym ring gym spoke to him for a while he's like what will have you he's like what under the bridge whatever you said in the past because I went mad I was quite vocal online the fucking dick edge did it there like proper going for it like a dick head and then he goes up what under the bridge blah blah blah blah so I get a phone call one day and he's like look I don't want you to think we're doing this because we want you to get beat up he went I think this is a good fight he went but what what do you think about Daniel Lowell now I've been a fan of his for years I've watched better enough for a long time so I watched it and I mean I took it instantly obviously and I'm like jumping up and down in my front garden and my bird's like what and I just like showed on said gym for me man just all right like that and I'm like I'm like I'm fucking and I'm going like that so she's getting what it was and I'm chatting to him for ages and he's going I don't want you to think we're doing this because he's the KO King if you type in Daniel Lowell on YouTube he is a beast man one of the nicest guys ever does a lot of work for charity like he has his own autism charity he does also he's such a fucking gentleman like he's I like to have animosity going into fights and I couldn't find anything to not like him about nothing I just couldn't so I went in there like liking him so much as a person like but once you get in that ring whatever he's sure him in that so I get the phone call and I'm like I'm like I'll have it I was like I'll do it I had eight weeks everybody everybody ripped me off apart from a handful of people who I had sparred so who's a guy called Nathan Leason who's quite a name been around BKB for a while I sparred him and he was shocked he because like I say during during all this time of me not doing off and all with this other one I was ridiculed I was the gay porn star I was he can't fight they just assumed I couldn't fight because I don't gay porn because it's just not a man thing to do or whatever or straight you know what some people's minds are like it's just now a mind of people some of them in it they're just not a lot of them aren't educated on on any finiva so he um where was that yeah so yeah I sparred that Leason and I sparred Daniel Podmore who's the heavyweight world champ big shout fucking big pod so I sparred him and he was on an interview once and he said Daniel McGrathin and Dan Lowell is going to be a corker he was like everyone's sleeping on McGrathin he went but I wouldn't I said see that guy can fucking fight because me and him sparred we had some good rounds so there was like a handful of people who were backing me How do you spar because box of gloves you got the headguards on as well it's up to you I don't wear a headguard make it feel there's only heads massive yeah so how big are the gloves 12 oes just I wear it if I'm sparring I wear 16 that's me so you're just normal for a bare knuckle yeah and then as it takes you from injuries of course but again for a bare knuckle I don't really know how you would train with fish let's point this I know a lot of people do hit the bag bare knuckle but it breaks your skin and then once you get that mark on your knuckle do you know what I mean doesn't appear it does repair but it takes a long time so you've got to think every time you make a fist it then rips the scab open like it takes it's not like it hurts it's just irritating because you've got this cut and then when you put your hand back in your gloves or your wraps on and then your hands are sweaty and then you can do you know what I mean it's just not good so a lot of people do do it I don't do it like and I like to wear the 16s because they're heavy they're heavy gloves so I feel like when I'm thrown my shots with the gloves off I'm used to holding 16 ounce gloves up so now my hands are 16 ounce lighter than what they usually are so that's why I like doing it but we sparred we had a good fucking spar and he was like saying look he was one of the only people like I say handful of people who had me winning that fight and then I went into the fight like I say the whole some people were messaging the BKB painting saying why the hell are you are you doing this fight to make my graffin get beat up you must be because this is such a mismatch and I was ticking that by the bowls me I was like you're not this is what lit that fire you use think I'm not going to be capable of this all right sound watch so I went in there and I don't know if you've seen the fight but I fucked him up with me jab in the first round no one's done that to their well nobody nobody has done that to their well he's snoozed everybody lands on them and they were asleep do you know what I mean we I hit him with a jab you come stepped in stepped into an orange tat's perfectly timed jab dropped him within eight seconds jumped back up I seen this little cut under his eye thought right okay I'm working that cut so I kept working the cut you come on the inside you like to get on the inside a bit we had a little bit of a scrap on the inside and I caught him with a short uppercut put him down again at this point I thought I'm winning on the out side and I'm winning on the inside I thought you're not and I looked over to him because he kept posting online I felt I didn't really brag about the fight afterwards which I usually do because you have respect for them yeah also I was a dickhead afterwards I'm not usually like that when I win a fight but like he kept saying online leading up to the fight it only takes one it only takes one he's a big hitter and I kept thinking I know it only takes one but what makes you think your one's better than my one like if that was so I looked over to him after the second knock now I went it only takes one and I watched it back and I bought a dickhead and then anyway when I stopped him about a couple seconds after that I jumped up on the ropes and fucking wow and I watched it back and I didn't like how I acted but that's probably just a release of all the boolean that you got the fucking it was a it was a fuck you took the whole arena the people it was against you and that's what it was just for thinking that you done a bit of fucking gay porn obviously you can't fight you're weak, you're soft you can't do this so this is just probably a release of told you so all the years of boolean all the years of thinking you're not good enough going off the rails because let's face anybody that is drinks are too scared and I'll say this a lot of people don't agree but you're always escaping the person who you don't want to face because we're all scared and every fighter I've interviewed what I've realised now is the old fight because they're scared a lot of them love it but it's because they were fearful at one point in their life where they were bullied are some of the younger most fight be bullied aren't they? aren't they? it's a bad connection isn't it? I think that's why I think that's why a lot of fighters are humble Adam you don't need to prove that you were hardcore you don't have to do that like and that's why you get people on the streets and you're like wahh they can't fucking fight for shit right there just wahh wahh wahh it's intimidation to make people think it's just the intimidation to try and keep them away from not even fighting how do you feel about talking about your life today? good good I've won like I said I've manifested this I knew I was going to tell this story for a while like even when see all them who ridicule isn't that nobody talks about straight porn though no but now I'm doing straight porn yeah nobody's shouting out about that I'll tell you what I have got a lot of a lot of oh I would do that how do you get into that? going fucking shag a geyser for five years and move your way up that's what I'm saying I say I started at fucking gay porn and I worked my way up the reason why Rebecca Moore contacted me because she's a star she's a star she's a porn star yeah like a gigantic star worldwide her and Sylvia Anderson were massive so she contacted us she seen me on channel five and she's like if he can do because do you know Danny D? yeah Brazos he started in gay porn did you know that? is it a fucking bovans ddechers on? yeah yeah yeah ten inch share message I mean it's a lot I mean well I can be both he started in gay porn under the name Mathews so it was a lot harder for him because the stigma behind gay porn back then when he started it was a lot harder but then he drifted into straight porn sorry now he's a straight porn the man he's the guy in straight porn so she seen that and she's like if he's willing to do gay porn he's willing to do anything so she's like contacts us through twitter she's like can I do you have you for this scene blah blah blah it'd been a long time since the cocked destroyers had done anything because it's been COVID so they weren't doing anything this was their first scene back in this time Sophie's got a boyfriend so anyway it was a scooby doo scene I sent you the picture where I'm Fred and they're Daphne and Velma so I've done this scene and do you know what I didn't want to tell anybody that I was doing straight porn because I felt like it was me I covered up justifying the gay porn and now having it I used to when I was in the in the wave scene I had a bad ego about it was when I was grafting drugs I had a fucking bad ego and I'm not ashamed to say it like I didn't I thought I was some fucking boy when I weren't so now I felt if I go around to people going I've done straight porn I've done straight porn it's my ego coming out of it again trying to justify the gay porn like now do you know what I mean so I just didn't tell anybody about it and me bird for example like when we first we're doing the gay porn she was saying she wouldn't be happy if it was straight porn blah blah blah because she's on that documentary the channel 5 one same girl and she's going oh if it was straight porn but then as we got into the scene more like Tyler got with Alessa she was a big porn star Tyler got himself into porn again like I said Tyler he he was one of the only bkb boys when the gay porn thing documentary come up he was the only one who was supportive he shared it he was like yes Dan you fucking legend like everybody else was and he was like I don't give a fuck he was like that guy he's a sick guy like and I I respect that Tyler's a fucking legend see anybody that's got your black mate whenever he comes against you mate that's the ones you want in your life whenever because there's not many who do that especially if everybody's speaking out about it because people support what's popular so if it's popular they hate somebody because of what they're doing people don't jump on it and people when you become successful only jump on it when it becomes popular Tyler didn't care do you know what I mean and that's why I've got a lot of respect from them that's why I've got a lot of respect for Sweeney and Franco because they're just fucking good people but what's the difference obviously you're shagging a guy never that's fucking different but is it feeling different or has it just become a job where you're numb to it it's still the same mate you've still got to like you've got to be wary where the camera is you've still got to perform you're not going to be able because it works at such a high level she knew that I was a performer she there's a difference between just you could just have a big dick you could have all the attributes but if you can't perform you're fucking dog shit you have to be able to perform you have to be able to come like when the scene's finished everybody wants to get home they don't want to sit around for five hours while you're like oh I can't come I can't come do you know what I mean there is ways to do fake come there is like tricks of the trade but nobody wants that like so if you can if you can come in stop start is a big thing a lot of people don't like stop starting now obviously I'm not using the try mix because you're with the buds well well did I get to the the story about no I didn't inject him yeah yeah you've done that with a guy yeah yeah yeah but the last ever gear scene I've done the guy who injected us with it say I'm drifting off constant the guy who injected us with it he shouldn't have been doing it and he was a bit of a fruit cake he's the guy who owned the company but he wanted everybody to have super hard dick so there was no fucking about there was no like oh none of this and I can't do this I can't do that you just want it done well so there's an anti-dort so you have a little tiny bit two are you yeah little into the needle in the base of the dick bang right and when you finished you have this anti-dort and it's about a mil right about a mil maybe more so quite a lot lot different yeah you put that in if you're still hard it will bring you down because mate it's like it's like a heartbeat like all the blood has rushed to your date like you just feel like it's going to explode at some point so it's not good to have it up for a long time so anyway I'm like can you bring me down he's like yeah but like I said the guy's on Adderall and like he's fucking like this all the time he's a bit of a fruit cake super successful like but just a bit of a fucking loon he mixed the bottles up so he gave me a fucking he gave me a lethal dose of Trimix so rather than have an anti-dort he gave me a fucking mil of Trimix so I'm like this this is getting worse I'm like this is sore mate and he's like ah you be good go and have a cold shot go for a run get the blood flowing around your body in that like all right what the fucking hardest dick you can think of and I'm running around was this was Barcelona this in the fucking hills so I'm running around like big harder on in in Barcelona trying and I'm come back and I'm like mate it's been an hour now I'm like it's not coming down and then he's went in his thing and he's like and I just see his face go red and he starts shaking he's like fuck and I'm like what and he's on the phone to his doctor and he's like and he's rushing so he starts speaking Russian to this doctor and I'm like what's going on and then the manager guy I said he's going to stand on and I'm not standing fucking nowhere I realised what you've done I thought fuck and I was hard for about eight nine hours so because you can't give me too much of the anti-dort at once I have a way too much Trimix to the point you're probably going to need 10, 20 mil of the anti-dort to get it down but you can't give me that much in one because that much liquid going into your dick is it's fucking ridiculous you'll end up like with lumps or whatever and it can be bad and honestly I thought I was going to lose my dick so after about like every every hour every 90 minutes he'd come and give me another mil and I'd have to like massage it and it was nothing was happening mate nothing was happening and eventually it started to go down and after that I was in contract with him then and after that I texted him when I got home and I was like look he was one of them because he's quite disliked in the industry because he said no he doesn't like talking through text because screenshots so easy so I'd messaged him and I said look I went out my contract I said with everything what happened in in Barcelona I think it's only fair you let me out my contract and he was like just text back the least I was like gone I'm done and that was the last time I worked for them gay that was 2019 I've done only fans since I mean I've fucking thrived on only fans since like once I realised that's my income now it's only fans and without it and I couldn't give a fuck what anyone has to say about how I made my money because I'm fucking they're real you do all right I think you've got to have that mentality though in that industry you've got to know I'm not rich I'm not rich by the slightest but I don't have to work I can train every day I've moved to work so I moved from Blackpool to Wigan I got a house in Wigan and moved there I lived five minutes away from my kids I picked my kids up from school and I said I missed a little bit while I was in Blackpool I couldn't do anything now I picked my kids up from school three times a week they're staying at my end on the weekends my daughter's at that age where she wants to just ring and go daddy can I come to yours mate yeah I'll come get you whatever so you've got a bad structure in your life I'm buzzing now so when's your next week September right here September 3rd yeah who are you fighting and where's this London or 2 defending my world title first events against a French dude from King of the Streets have you seen that King of the Streets yeah in that case he's rich I don't like a treat you yeah it's good that there's a there's a set of rules in that ring because that King of the Streets is brutal there's a guy who fights for BKB called Eric Olson American dude he fights for King of the Streets man he's just won his last fight by eye gouge yeah he's got put his phone in the eye that's how he won the fight the guy was I've never heard a grown man scream like that yeah fuck that brother so how you feeling today then after the recent I'm feeling good yeah that's nice it's not a bigger audience where people realise I've been excited to get on now just to tell your story and you've been through a mad journey it's not what it's not many people have been through that life mate from the gay porn to the army to prisons to fucking men but I don't know what what old champion better not go through no one better not go can say anything but do you feel as if you're constantly trying to move to others yes especially the fighters the BKB fighters how does it make you feel when people are homophobic against you on at your brother's game is that upset you as well that feel your fire a bit fucking world isn't it mate and like I said these people who were who are homophobic disgusted dislike their own life that guy I'm telling you about who was supposed to fight on BKB who now fights for the other company he is so homophobic he's still putting gay statuses about me when I win a fight it'll be like that because I fucking mentioned him stupidly in a post-flight interview I don't know why my adrenaline James fuck after winning that fight because like I said it was a big fuck you to everybody so when I done my post-flight interview I was flying and I'm chatting to the guy and I said it was talking about opportunities and I said and I looked at the camera and I was like because that's what happens so his name so when you take fights said if you take fights things like this can happen I had my belt and everything and I was like this is wrong because he would never take them so fights he was turning all these people down so I was like and I went mad and then he put a status saying oh the fucking gay boy he's still mentioning my name but he's so homophobic that I'm telling you now like he's fucking gay and the guy is a prolific woman beater like he's being in jail for beating up women like he put a status and I'll never fight this guy because because of his job I get no glory in beating a guy like that but he gets glory beating up journeymen who have never won a fight or women like it was an article about him about him battering his ex-bird and it was fucking how he went to read me it was it was horrible and I thought everybody within the scene knows what he's like now so it's just like they just fucking ignore him but he'll never fight it if he's got a problem fight me then because that's what we do is fighting men don't you if you've got beef with someone he's the only person on the fucking planet I've got beef with now so if you've got beef with someone settle it considering we're both professional Ben Ockel fighters when that's not settled in the ring but he knows because he's watched it he knows he doesn't win that fight he knows he doesn't win that fight so how do you move forward from here then brother what's the plans for the future still keep doing porn when I'm booked like I say I'm getting booked a lot for straight porn these days would you ever go back to gay porn probably not no the money was right by go for the money was right yeah should have done it the money was right yeah but I did like I say I don't think I could now inject myself with that that stuff I think I'd lose the pot because that that would mentally drain us so with the gay porn I mean with the straight porn it's fucking hell of a lot easier obviously it's still not sex so this is why like my girlfriend's all right with it now since Tyler got into the scene he was with he was with Alessa he's saying like look he was with the porn star he's saying to people look it's not what you think porn once them cameras are running it's not passionate you're gonna act passionate but as soon as it says cut you're back to fucking me and you're chatting like this some of them have got husband some of them have got do you know what I mean like there were one of the girls I worked with she's got a husband like and they're like that but she's a porn star like it's it's work it's not so she adjusted to that we done the we done a couple of straight porn scenes and now she books me all the time I've got another booking on the 7th of October for straight but until then it's just I mark it myself to the gay market because they're the ones who subscribe to my only fans business meeting on it I only have to have a a shower I'll have a wank in the shower I'll put my phone up record I'll wash myself I'll fucking play with myself helicoptor whatever do you know what I mean and I'll just post that up and people are subscribing 10 of a month what is all your social media links put a plug there in the name as well so Instagram is damagraffin my only fans is damagraffin onlyfans.com so that's damagraffin I have bought a URL to that and linked it up which is damagraffin.co.uk which is just going to take you straight to my only fans that's if you want to watch it if you don't some nosy people just go and have a look but crack on it all goes in my bank at the end of the day that's a good money mate Anna would you like to finish up on anything brother yeah me fight tune in to me fight 3rd of September the London Auto against some crazy undefeated international king of the streets dude which is going to be fireworks like that's my next thing good on you bro that's the end man for coming on a day and telling your story thank you I will show the best for the future good luck with your fight and keep smashing it brother it's a nice one there