 CHAPTER IX For several minutes the scarecrow sat perfectly still while the company stood shaking in their shoes. Then he asked loudly, Where is the Imperial Army? It has retired to the caves at the end of the island. Quavered the Grand Chuchu. I thought as much. Said the scarecrow. But never mind. There are quite a lot of us. Us? Spluttered a tall silver man, indignantly. We are not common soldiers. No, very uncommon ones. But you have hard heads and long nails, and I dare say we'll manage somehow. Come on, let's go. Chu, you may take the lead. Go. Shrieked the Grand Chuchu. Us? The courtiers began backing away in alarm. Where? Er, what? Are your highness's plans? Why, just to conquer the king of the golden islands and send him back home. Said the scarecrow, smiling, engagingly. That's what you wanted, isn't it? But it is not honourable for noblemen to fight. It— That's if you prefer a burning. The scarecrow rose unsteadily and started for the garden gates, not a person stirred. The scarecrow looked back, and his reproachful face was too much for happy toco. I'll come, exalted and radiant scarecrow-cus, wait honourable and valiant sir. Bring a watering can if you love me. Called the scarecrow over his shoulder, and happy, snatching one from a frightened gardener dashed after his master. If things get too hot, I'd like to know that you could put me out. Said the scarecrow, his voice quivering with emotion. You shall be rewarded for this, my brave Tappy. Happy did not answer, for his teeth were chattering so he could not speak. The harbour lay just below the imperial palace, and the scarecrow and happy hurried on through the crowds of fleeing silvermen, their household goods packed upon their heads. Some cheered faintly for Chang Wang Wo, but none offered to follow, save the faithful happy. Is this king gold? That's the scarecrow, looking anxiously at the small boats full of warriors that were putting out from the fleet. He is the son of the king whom your majesty conquered fifty years ago. Gulp Tappy. Has your imperial highness any plan? Not yet. Said the scarecrow cheerfully. But I'm thinking very hard. Then goodbye to Silver Island. Choked happy toco, dropping the watering can with a crash. Said the scarecrow kindly. If they shoot me and I catch fire, I'll jump in the water, and you must fish me out, Tappy. Now please, don't talk to me any more, I must think. Poor happy toco had nothing else to say, for he considered his day finished. The first of the invaders were already landing on the beach, and standing up in a small boat encased in glittering gold armour was the king of the golden islands himself. The sun was quite hot, and there was a smell of gunpowder in the air. Now the scarecrow had encountered many dangers in eyes, and had usually thought his way out of them, but as they came nearer and nearer to the shore, and no idea presented itself, he began to feel extremely nervous. A bullet fired from the king's boat tore through his hat, and the smoke made him more anxious than ever about his straw stuffing. He felt hurdly in his pocket, and his clumsy fingers closed over the little fan he had plucked from the beanpole. Partly from agitation, and partly because he did not know what else to do, the scarecrow flipped the fan open. At that minute a mighty roar went up from the enemy, for at the first motion of the fan they had been jerked fifty feet into the air, and there they hung suspended over their ships, kicking and squealing for dear life. The scarecrow was as surprised as they, and as for happy toco, he fell straight way on his nose. Exclaimed the scarecrow, Someone is helping us. And he began fanning himself gently with the little fan, waiting to see what would happen next. At each wave of the fan the king of the golden islands and his men flew higher, until at last not one of them could be seen from the shore. The fan! The magic is in the fan! Gasped happy toco, jumping up and embracing the scarecrow. Why, what do you mean? Asked the scarecrow, closing the fan with a snap. His answer was drowned in a huge splash. As soon as the fan was closed, down whirled the king's army into the sea, and each man struck the water with such force that the spray rose high as a skyscraper. And not till then did the scarecrow realize the power of the little fan he had been saving for Dorothy. Saved! Screamed happy toco, dancing up and down. Hurrah for the emperor! The emperor, without a plan, has won the victory with the fan! The silver islanders had paused in their flight at the queer noises coming from the harbor, and now all of them, hearing Tappy Oko's cries, came crowding down to the shore, and were soon cheering themselves hoarse. No wonder! The drenched soldiers of the king were climbing swiftly back into their boats, and when they were all aboard, the scarecrow waved his fan sideways. He did not want to blow them up again, and the ship swept out of the harbor so fast that the water churned to silver suds behind them, and they soon were out of sight. Cried the grand chuchu, arriving breathlessly at this point. We have won the day. So we have! Chuckled the scarecrow, putting his arm around happy toco. Call the brave army and decorate the generals. It shall be done. Said the grand chuchu, frowning at happy. There shall be a great celebration, a feast, and fireworks. Fireworks! Quavered the scarecrow, clutching his imperial punster. By this time the silver islanders were crowding around the emperor, felting and squealing for joy, and before he could prevent it, they had placed him on their shoulders and carried him in triumph to the palace. He managed to signal happy, and happy nodded reassuringly, and ran off as fast as his fat little legs could patter. He arrived at the palace almost as soon as the scarecrow, lugging a giant silver watering can, and sitting calmly on the steps of the throne, vanned himself with his hat. The scarecrow eyed the watering can with satisfaction. Now let them have their old fireworks! He muttered under his breath, and settled himself comfortably. The grand chuchu was hopping about like a ditched kite, arranging for the celebration. The courtiers were shaking hands with themselves and forming in a long line. A great table was being set in the hall. What a fuss they are making over nothing! Said the scarecrow to happy toco. Now when ours, when we win a victory, we all play some jolly game and sit down to dinner with Osma. That's why they haven't even set a place for you, happy. I'd rather sit here, amiable master. Side happy toco, happily. Is the little fan safely closed? The scarecrow felt in his pocket to make sure, then leaned forward in surprise. The royal silver army were marching stiffly into the hall, and the courtiers were bobbing, and bowing, and cheering like mad. The general came straight to the silver throne, clicked his silver heels, bowed, and stood at attention. Well, said the scarecrow, surveying his splendid person curiously. What is it? They have come for their decorations. Announced to the grand chuchu, stepping up with a large silver platter full of metals. But I thought Tapioca and I saved the island. Chuggled the scarecrow, nudging the imperial punster. Had the imperial army not retired and left the field to you, there would have been no victory. Faltered the general in a timid voice. Therefore, in a way, we are responsible for the victory. A great general always knows when to retire. There's something in that. Admitted the scarecrow, scratching his head thoughtfully. Go ahead and decorate him, chuchu. This the grand chuchu proceeded to do, making such a long speech to each soldier, that half of the court fell asleep, and the scarecrow fidgeted uncomfortably. They remind me of the army of Oz. He confided to happy toco. But we never have long speeches in Oz. I declare, I wish I could go to sleep, too. And that's something I have never seen any use in before. They've just begun. Yond happy toco, nearly rolling down the steps of the throne, and happy was not far wrong. For all afternoon won after the other of the courtiers arose and droned about the great victory, and as they all addressed themselves to the scarecrow, he was forced to listen politely. When the speeches were over, there was still the grand banquet to be got to, and as the silver islanders ate much the same fare as their Chinese cousins, you can imagine the poor scarecrow's feelings. Shivered the scarecrow as the strange dishes appeared. I'm glad none of my friends are here. How fortunate that I'm stuffed with straw! The broiled mice, the stewed shark fins, and the bird-nest soup made him stare. He had ordered happy toco to be placed at his side, and to watch him happily at work with his silver chopsticks and porcelain spoon was the only satisfaction he got out of the feast. What is that? He asked, porting to a steaming bowl that had just been placed before happy. Minced cat, your Highness. Replied happy, sprinkling it generously with silver polish. Cat? Shrieked the scarecrow, pouncing to his feet in horror. Do you mean to tell me you are eating poor innocent little cat? Not poor at all, a very rich one, I should say. Replied happy toco with his mouth full. Ah, had your Highness only your old body, how you would enjoy this? Never! Shouted the scarecrow so loudly that all of the courtiers looked up in surprise. How dare you eat innocent cats! Indignantly he thought of Dorothy's pet kitten back in Oz. Oz, why had he ever left that wonderful country? Your Highness has eaten hundreds. Announced the grand choo-choo calmly. Hundreds! The scarecrow dropped back into his chair too shocked for speech. He, the scarecrow of Oz, had eaten hundreds of cats. What would Dorothy say to that? Ugg. This was his first experience with Silver Island Fair. He had always spent the dinner hours in the garden. He sighed and looked wistfully at the bean pole in the center of the hall. Every minute he was feeling less and less like the emperor of the Silver Island and more and more like the plain scarecrow of Oz. Your Majesty seems out of spirits. He had happy toco as he placed himself and a huge watering can beside the emperor's bench in the garden later in the evening. I wish I were, said the scarecrow. To have an emperor's spirit wished on you is no joke, my dear tappy. It's a blinking bore. At that moment the fireworks commenced. The garden ablaze with many shaped silver lanterns looked more like fairyland than ever. But each rocket made the scarecrow wince. Showers of stars and butterflies fell round his head, fiery dragons leaped over the trees, and in all the Fourth of July celebrations you could imagine, there were never such marvelous fireworks as these. No wonder happy toco, gazing in delight, forgot his promises to his royal master. Soon the scarecrow's fears were realized, and his straw stuffing began to smoke. Put me out! Put me out! cried the scarecrow as a shower of sparks settled in his lap. The royal band made such a din and the courtier such a clatter that happy did not hear. All of the Silver Islanders were intent on the display, and they forgot all about their unhappy and smoking emperor. Help! Water! Water! Fire! screamed the scarecrow, jumping off his throne and knocking happy head over heels. Thus brought to his senses happy hurriedly seized the watering can, and sprinkled its contents on the smoking emperor. Am I out? gasped the emperor anxiously. Fine way to celebrate a victory, lighting me on fire like a Roman candle! Yes, dear master. said the repentant happy, helping the dripping scarecrow to his feet. It only scorched your royal robe. It's all over, anyway. Let us go in. The dripping emperor was quite ready to follow his imperial punster's advice. Now that I am put out, let us by all means go in. said the scarecrow gloomily, and the two slipped off without anyone noticing their departure. I'm afraid I'll have to have some new stuffing to-morrow. Observed the scarecrow, sinking dejectedly on his throne. Tappy, my dear boy, after this never leave me alone. Do you hear? Happy Toko made no reply. He had fallen asleep beside the imperial throne. The scarecrow might have called his court, but he was in no mood for more of the silver islander's idea of a good time. He longed for the dear friends of his loved land of Oz. One by one the lights winked out in the gardens, and the noisy company dispersed, and soon no one in the palace was awake but the scarecrow. His straw was wet and soggy, and even his excellent brains felt damp and dull. If it weren't for Tappy Yoko, how lonely I should be! He stared through the long dim, empty hall with its shimmering silver screens and vases. I wonder what little Dorothy is doing? sighed the scarecrow woosfully. End of Chapter 9 Chapter 10 of the Royal Book of Oz. This is a LibriVox recording. While LibriVox recordings are in the public domain, for more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. The Royal Book of Oz by Ruth Plumlee Thompson. Chapter 10 Princess Osma and Betsy Bobbin Talk It Over Dorothy must be having a lovely time at the scarecrow's. remarked Betsy Bobbin to Osmo one afternoon as they sat reading in the royal gardens several days after Dorothy's departure from the emerald city of Oz. Ben always has a jolly time at the scarecrow's, laughed the little queen of Oz. I must look in my magic picture and see what they are doing. Too bad she missed the ABC serpent and rattlesnakes. Weren't they the funniest creatures? Both the little girls, for Osma is really just a little girl, went off into a gale of laughter. The two queer creatures had followed the scarecrow's advice and had spent their vacation in the emerald city and partly because they were so dazzled by their surroundings and partly because they have no sort of memories, whatever. They never mentioned the scarecrow himself or said anything about his plan to hunt his family tree. They talked incessantly of the Mer city and told innumerable ABC stories to scraps and the tin woodmen and the children of the emerald city. When they were ready to go, the ABC serpent snapped off its X block for Osmo. X, he said, meant almost everything and pretty well expressed his gratitude to the lovely little ruler of Oz. Osma in turn gave each of the visitors an emerald collar and that very morning they had started back to the Munchkin River and all the celebrities of Oz had gotten up to see them off. Maybe they'll come again sometime, said Betsy Bobin, swinging her feet. But look Osma, here comes a messenger. A messenger it surely was, dressed in the quaint red costume of the quadlings. It was from Glinda, the good sorceress, and caused the princess to sigh with vexation. Tell Jack Pumpkin head to harness the saw horse to the red wagon, said Osma after glancing hastily at the little note. The horners and hoppers are at war again, and tell the wizard to make ready for a journey. May I come too? Asked Betsy. Osma nodded with a troubled little frown and Betsy bustled off importantly. Not many little girls are called upon to help settle wars and rule a country as wonderful as Oz. The horners and hoppers are a quarrelsome and curious folk living in the quadling mountains, and soon Osma, Jack, Pumpkinhead, Betsy, and the Wizard of Oz were rattling off at the best speed the saw horse could manage. This was pretty fast, for the little horse being made of wood and magically brought to life, never tires, and could outrun anything on legs in the fairy kingdom of Oz. But the fact that interests us is that Osma did not look in the magic picture or see what exciting adventures the Scarecrow and Dorothy really were having. As for Professor Wogglebug, who had caused all the trouble, he was busily at work on the twelfth chapter of the Royal Book of Oz, which he had modestly headed, H-M-Wogglebug-T-E, Prince of Bugs, Cultured and Eminent Educator, and also Great Grand and General Genealogist of Oz. End of Chapter 10. Chapter 11 of the Royal Book of Oz. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. The Royal Book of Oz by Ruth Plumlee Thompson, Chapter 11, Sir Hocus Overcometh the Giant. I don't believe we'll ever find the way out of this forest. Dorothy stopped with a discouraged little sigh and leaned against a tree. They had followed the road for several hours. First it had been fine and wide, but it had gradually dwindled to a crooked little path that wound crazily in and out through the trees. Although it was almost noonday, not a ray of sun penetrated through the dim green depths. Me thinks, said Sir Hocus, peering into the gloom ahead, that a great adventure is at hand. The cowardly lion put back his ears. What makes you me think so? He rumbled anxiously, Hark thee, said Sir Hocus, holding up his finger warningly. From a great way off sounded a curious thumping. It was coming nearer and nearer. Gracious! cried Dorothy, catching hold of the cowardly lion's mane. This is worse than pokes. Perchance, it is a dragon. Exalted the knight, drawing his short sword. And how it would refresh me to slay a dragon. I don't relish dragons myself, scorched my tongue on one once, said the cowardly lion huskily. But I'll fight with you, brother Hocus. Stand back, Dorothy, dear. As the fudge grew louder, the knight fairly danced up and down with excitement. Approach, villain, he roared lustily. Approach till I impaled thee on my lance. Ah, had I but a horse. I'd let you ride on my back if it weren't for that hard tin suit, said the cowardly lion. But cheer up, my dear Hocus. Your voice is a little hoarse. Dorothy giggled nervously, then seized hold of a small tree, for the whole forest was rocking. How now? Guessed the knight. There was a terrific quake that threw Sir Hocus on his face, and sent every hair in the lion's mane on end. And then a great foot came crashing down through the tree tops, not three paces from the little party. Before they could even swallow, a giant hand, flashed downward, jerked up a handful of trees by the roots, and disappeared, while a voice from somewhere way above shouted. What are little humans for? To feed the giant Bangalore. Broil their toasted baked or roasted. I smell three, or maybe four. You hear that? Quavered the cowardly lion. Sir Hocus did not answer. His helmet had been jammed down by his fall, and he was tugging it upward with both hands. Frightened, though Dorothy was, she ran to the knight's assistance. Have at you! Cried Sir Hocus as soon as the opening in his helmet was opposite his eyes. Forward! My heart is beating a retreat. Gulped the cowardly lion, but he bounded boldly after Sir Hocus. Barley! Pissed the knight, and raising his sword gave a mighty slash at the giant's ankle, which was broad as three tree trunks, while the cowardly lion gave a great spring and sank his teeth in the giant's huge leg. Out! Roared the giant in a voice that shook every leaf in the forest. You stop, or I'll tell my father. With that, he gave a hop that sent Sir Hocus flying into the treetops, stumbled over a huge rock, and came crashing to the earth, smashing trees like grass blades. At the giant's first scream, Dorothy shut her eyes and putting her hands over her ears had run as far and as fast as she could. At the awful crash, she stopped short, opened her eyes, and stared round giddily. The giant was flat on his back, but as he was stretched as far as four city blocks, only half of him was visible. The cowardly lion still clung to his leg, and he was gurgling and struggling in a way Dorothy could not understand. She looked around in a panic for the knight. Just then Sir Hocus dropped from the branch of a tree. Uds, daggers! He puffed, looking roofily at his sword, which had snapped off at the handle. Tis a pretty rogue. Don't you think we'd better run? Shivered Dorothy, thinking of the giant's song. Not will I wear these colors! Exclaimed Sir Hocus, proudly touching Dorothy's hair ribbon, which still adorned his arm. Come, my good lion, let us dispatch this braggart and saucy monster. Father! Screamed the giant, making no attempt to move. He seems to be frightened himself. Whispered Dorothy to the knight. But whatever is the matter with the cowardly lion? At that minute the cowardly lion gave a great jerk and began backing with his four feet braced. The piece of giant leg that he had a hold of stretched and stretched, and while Sir Hocus and Dorothy stared in amazement, it snapped off, and the cowardly lion rolled head over paws. Tappy! Roared the cowardly lion, sitting up and trying to open his jaws, which were firmly stuck together. Tappy! At this, Sir Hocus sprang nimbly on the giant's leg, ran up his chest, and perched bravely on his peppermint collar. Surrender, Nave! He demanded threateningly. Dorothy, seeing she could do nothing to help the cowardly lion, followed. On her way up, she broke off a tiny piece of his coat and found it most delicious chocolate. Why, he's all made of candy! She cried excitedly. Oh, hush! Sobbed the giant, rolling his great sourball eyes. I'd be eating in a minute, if it were no. You were mighty anxious to eat us a while ago, said Dorothy, looking longingly at the giant's coat buttons. They seemed to be large marshmallows. Go away! Screamed the giant, shaking so that Dorothy slid into his vest pocket. No one under forty feet is allowed in this forest! Dorothy climbed crossly out of the giant's pocket. We didn't come because we wanted to. She assured him, wiping the chocolate off her nose. Odds, barricans! I could not fight a great baby like this! Sides, Sir Hocus, dodging just in time a great sugary tear that had rolled down the giant's nose. He has to apologize for that song, though. Wait! cried Dorothy suddenly. I have an idea. If you set us down on the edge of the forest and give us all your best buttons for lunch, we won't tell anyone you're made of candy. We'll let you go. She called loudly for the giant had begun to sob again. Won't you? Will you? sniffed the foolish giant. Never sing that song again. commanded the knight sternly. No, sir. answered the giant meekly. Did your dog chew much of my legs, sir? Then before Dorothy or Sir Hocus had time to weigh a word, they were snatched up in sticky fingers and the next minute were dropped with a thump in a large field of daisies. Sir Dorthy as the giant made off on his taffy legs. Oh, we've forgotten the cowardly lion. But at that minute the giant reappeared and the lion was dropped beside them. What's this? What's this? growled the cowardly lion looking around wildly. We've got him to lift us out of the forest. explained Dorothy. Have you swallowed the taffy? The lion was still dizzy from his ride and only shook his head feebly. Sir Hocus sighed and set heavily down on a large rock. There was no sort of honor, me thinks, in overcoming a candy giant. She observed, looking wistfully at the plume still pinned to Dorothy's dress. Ah, head up, but then a proper fight. You didn't know he was candy. I think you were just splendid. Jumping up, Dorothy fastened the plume in the night's helmet. And you're talking just beautifully. More like a night every minute. She added with conviction. Sir Hocus tried not to look pleased. Give me a meat enemy. My teeth ache yet. First singing then candy leg pulling. What next? growled the cowardly lion. Why, lunch, if you feel like eating. said Dorothy, beginning to give out the vest buttons which the giant had obediently ripped off and left for them. They were marshmallows, the size of pie plates, and Dorothy and Sir Hocus found them quite delicious. The cowardly lion, however, after a doubtful sniff and sneeze from the powdered sugar, declined and went off to find something more to his taste. We had better take some of these along. Dorothy, when she and Sir Hocus had eaten several. We may need them later. Everything is yellow, so we must be in the winky country. Announced the cowardly lion who had just returned from his lunch. There's a road, too. May Hap, it will take us to the jeweled city of your gracious queen. Sir Hocus shaded his eyes and stared curiously at the long lane stretching invitingly ahead of them. Well, anyway, we're out of the forest and pokes. And maybe we'll meet someone who will tell us about the Scarecrow. Come on! Cried Dorothy gaily. I think we're on the right track this time. Afternoon went pleasantly for the three travelers. The road was wide and shady and really seemed a bit familiar. Dorothy rode comfortably on the cowardly lion's back and to pass the time told Sir Hocus all about Ahaz. He was particularly interested in the Scarecrow. Grammarcy, he should be knighted! He exclaimed, slapping his knee. As Dorothy told how the clever straw man had helped outwit the gnome king when that wicked little rascal had tried to keep them prisoners in his underground kingdom. But, go to! Where is the gallant man now? The knight sobered quickly. Mayhap in need of a strong arm! Mayhap at the mercy of some terrible monster! Oh, I hope not! Cried Dorothy dismayed it so dark a picture. Why, why did he bother about his family tree? Asked the Scarecrow to take care of himself. Said the cowardly lion in a gruff voice. Nevertheless he quickened his steps. The sooner we reach the Emerald City, the sooner we'll know where he is. The country through which they were passing was beautiful, but quite deserted. About five o'clock they came to a clear little stream and after Dorothy and Sir Hocus had washed their faces and the cowardly lion had taken a little plunge, they all felt refreshed. After they came to a fine pair orchard and as no one was about they helped themselves generously. The more Dorothy and the cowardly lion saw of Sir Hocus, the fonder of him they grew. He was so kind-hearted and so polite. He'll be great company for us back in the Emerald City. Whispered the cowardly lion as the knight went off to get Dorothy a drink from a little spring. That is, if he forgets this grammar C, bludgeon stuff. I think it sounds lovely. And he's remembering more of it all the time. But I wonder why there are no people here. I do hope we meet some before night. But no person did they meet. As it grew darker Sir Hocus's armor began to creak in a frightful manner. Armor is not meant for walking and the poor knight was stiff and tired but he made no complaint. Need oiling, don't you? Asked the cowardly lion, peering anxiously at him through the gloom. Joints in my armor a bit rusty. Puffed Sir Hocus, eating one foot and then the other. Ah, had I my good horse. He expressively waved a piece of the giant's button at which he had been nibbling. Better climb up behind Dorothy. Advised the cowardly lion but Sir Hocus shook his head for he knew the lion was tired too. I'll manage famously. This very night I may find me a steed. Wow! Asked the lion with a yawn. If I sleep beneath these trees I may have a nightmare. Chuckled Sir Hocus triumphantly. Roar! Roared the cowardly lion while Dorothy clapped her hands. But they were not to sleep beneath the trees after all for a sudden turn in the road brought them right to the gates of another city. They knew it must be a city because a huge lighted sign hung over the gate. Fixed city. Said Dorothy. What a funny name! Maybe they can fix us up. Rumbled the lion winking at Sir Hocus. Perchance we shall hear news of the valiant scarecrow. Cried the night and limping forward he thumped on the gate with his mailed fist. Dorothy and the cowardly lion pressed close behind him and waited impatiently for someone to open the gate. A bell rang loud back in the town. The next instant the gates flew open so suddenly that the three adventurers were flung violently on their faces. Out upon them! Blustered Sir Hocus getting up stiffly and running to help Dorothy. What way is this to welcome strangers? He pulled the little girl hastily to her feet then they all ran forward for the gates were swinging shut again. It was almost as light as day for lanterns were everywhere but strangely enough they seemed to dart about like huge fireflies and Dorothy ducked involuntarily as a red one bobbed down almost in her face. Then she gasped in real earnest and caught hold of Sir Hocus. Uds! Daggers! Weezed the night. Two large bushes were running down the path and right in front of Dorothy the larger caught the smaller and began pulling out its leaves. Leave off! Leave off! Screamed the little bush. That's what I'm doing. Said the big bush savagely. There won't be a leaf on when I get through with you. Unhand him, villain! Cried Sir Hocus waving his sword at the large bush. The two bushes looked up in surprise and when they saw Dorothy, the cowardly lion, and Sir Hocus, they fell into each other's branches and burst into the most uproarious laughter. My dear Magnolia, this is rich! Oh dear fellow, wait till Sid sees this. He will be convolved. Quite forgetting their furious quarrel the two went rollicking down the path together, stopping every few minutes to look back and laugh at the three strangers. Is this usual? Asked Sir Hocus looking quite dazed. I never heard of bushes talking or running around, but I confess I'm a few centuries behind times. Neither did I. exclaimed Dorothy. But then, almost anything's likely to happen in Oz. If these lanterns don't look out something will happen. I'll break them to bits. growled the cowardly lion who had been dodging half a dozen at once. How would we look? Out! sniffed one, flying at Dorothy. You could light out or go out. giggled the little girl. We never go out unless we're put out. cried another, but as the cowardly lion made a few springs, they flew high into the air and began talking indignantly among themselves. By this time the three had become accustomed to the changing lights. I wonder where the people are? said Dorothy, peering down a wide avenue. There don't seem to be any houses. Oh, look! Three tables set for dinner with the most appetizing vions were walking jauntily down the street talking fluent China. There must be people! cried Dorothy. Won dinner for each of us. Grumbled the cowardly lion licking his chops. Come on! Perchance they will invite us. If we follow the dinners, we'll come to the diners. said Sir Hocus mildly. Right, as usual. The cowardly lion looked embarrassed for he had intended pouncing on the tables without further ceremony. Hush! Let's go quietly. If they hear us, they may run and upset the dishes. Warned Dorothy. So the three walked softly after the dinner tables, their curiosity about the people affixed growing keener at every step. Several chairs, a sofa, and a closed tree-rush passed them, but as Dorothy said later to Osma, after talking bushes, nothing surprised them. The tables turned the corner at the end of the avenue, three abreast, and the sight that greeted Dorothy and her comrades was strange indeed. On each side of a long street, as far as they could see, stood rows and rows of people. Each one was in the exact center of a chalked circle, and they were so still that Dorothy thought they must be statues. But no sooner had the three tables made their appearance, than bells began ringing furiously, all up and down the street, and dinner tables and chairs came running from every direction. All the inhabitants of Fix City looked alike. They had large round heads, broad placid faces, double chins, and no waist, whatever. Their feet were flat, and about three times as long as the longest you have ever seen. The women wore plain mother-hubbered dresses and straw sailor hats, and the men gingham suits. While the three friends were observing all this, the tables had been taking their places. One stopped before each fix and the chairs, after much bumping and quarreling placed themselves properly. At a signal from the fix in the center, the whole company sat down without so much as moving their feet. Dorothy, Sir Hocus, and the cowardly lion had been too interested to speak, but at this minute a whole flock of the mischievous lanterns clustered over their heads, and at the sudden blare of light the whole street stopped eating and stared. Oh, cried the fix nearest them, pointing with his fork. Look at the runabouts. This way please, this way please. Don't bark your shins. Don't take any more steps than you can help. Boomed an important voice from the middle of the street, so down the center marched the three, feeling, as the cowardly lion put it, exactly like a circus. Stop. Names, please. The fix next to the center put up his knife commandingly. Sir Hocus stepped forward with a bow. Princess Dorothy of Oz, the cowardly lion of Oz. And Sir Hocus of Pokes. Roared the lion as the night modestly set back without announcing himself. Sir Pocus of Hocus, Howardly Cayenne of Baz, and little girl beginning with Dee. Bellowed the fix. Meet his royal highness, King Fixit, and the noble Fixitons. Little girl beginning with Dee? That's too long. Complain the king, who, with the exception of his crown, looked like all the rest of them. I'll leave out the middle. What do you want, little with Dee? My name is Dorothy. And if your highness could give us some dinner and tell us something about the scarecrow? And one thing at a time, please. Said the king reprovingly. What does poker want in Baz? Have they anything to spend? Only the night, and it pleased your gracious highness. Said Sir Hocus with his best bow. It doesn't please me especially. Said the king, taking a sip of water. And there you've brought up another question. How do you want to spend it? He folded his hands helplessly on the table and looked appealingly at the fix next to him. How might I settle all these questions, Stickin? First they come running around like crazy chairs, and you might rank for a settle. Suggested Stickin, looking curiously at Sir Hocus. The king leaned back with a sigh of relief then touched a bell. There were at least 20 bells set on a high post at his right hand, and all of the fixes seemed to have similar bell posts. He's talking perfect nonsense. Said Dorothy angrily. The cowardly lion began to roll his eyes ominously. Let me handle this, my dear. I'm used to kings. Whispered Sir Hocus. Most of them talk nonsense. But if he grows wroth, we'll have all the furniture in the place around our ears. Now just- Bump. Sir Hocus and Dorothy sat down quite suddenly. The settle had arrived and hit them smartly behind the knees. The cowardly lion dodged just in time and lay down with a growl beside it. Now that you're settled. Began the king in a resigned voice. We might try again. What is your motto? This took even Sir Hocus by surprise, but before he could answer, the king snapped out. Come late and stay early. How is that? Very good. Said Sir Hocus with a wink at Dorothy. Next time, don't come at all. Mumbled stick and plaster, his mouth full of biscuit. And you wanted? The king asked uneasily. Dinner for three. Said the knight promptly and with another bow. Now that's talking. The king looked admiringly at Sir Hocus. This little witty had matters all tangled up. One time at a thing, that's my motto. Leaning over, the king pressed another button. By this time, the fixes had lost interest in the visitors and went calmly on with their dinners. Three tables came pattering up, and the settle drew itself up of its own accord. Dorothy placed the cowardly lion's dinner on the ground, and then she and Sir Hocus enjoyed the first good meal they had had since they left pokes. They were gradually becoming used to their strange surroundings. You asked him about the scarecrow? Begged Dorothy. Everybody had finished, and the tables were withdrawing in orderly groups. The king was leaning sleepily back in his chair. Ahem! Began the night, rising stiffly. Has your majesty seen ought of a noble scarecrow? And could your supreme fixity tell us ought? The king's eyes opened. You're out of turn. He interrupted crossly. We're only to the second question. How will you spend the night? In sleep. Answered Sir Hocus promptly. If your majesty permits. I do. Said the king solemnly. That gets me out of entertaining. Early to bed and late to rise, that's my motto. Next it's your turn. He added irritably as Sir Hocus did not immediately answer. Have you seen ought of the noble scarecrow? Asked Sir Hocus, and all of them waited anxiously for the king's reply. I don't know about the scarecrow. I've seen a scarecrow and a sensible chap he was, hanging still like a reasonable person and letting chairs and tables chase themselves round. Where was he? Asked Sir Hocus in great agitation. In a picture. Said the king. Wait, I'll ring for it. No use. Said the knight in a disappointed voice. We're looking for a man. Would you mind telling me why you all are so still and why all your furniture runs around? Asked Dorothy who was growing a little restless. You forget where you are and you're out of turn, but I'll overlook it this once. Said the king. Have you ever noticed, little witty, that furniture lasts longer than people? Why yes. Admitted Dorothy. Well there you are. King Fix, said, folded his hands and regarded her complacently. Here we manage things better. We stand still and let the furniture run around and wear itself out. How does it strike you? Hmm, it seems sensible. Acknowledged Dorothy. But don't you ever grow tired of standing still? I've heard of growing hair in flowers and corn, but never of growing tired. What is it? First stickin' plaster, leaning toward Dorothy. I think she's talked enough. Said the king, closing his eyes. Sir Hocus had been staring anxiously at the king for some time. Now he came close to the monarch's side and standing on tiptoe whispered hoarsely. Hast any dragons here? Did you say wagons? Asked the king, opening his eyes with a terrible yawn. Dragons? Hissed the knight. Never heard of him. Said the king. The cowardly lion shuckled behind his whiskers and Sir Hocus in great confusion stepped back. What time is it? Demanded the king suddenly. He touched a bell, and next minute a whole company of clocks came running down the street. The big ones pushed the little ones, and a grandfather clock ran so fast that it tripped over a cobblestone and fell on its face, which cracked all the way across. You've plenty of time. Why don't you take it? Giggled the king angrily, while two closed trees helped the clock to its feet. They're all different. Giggled Dorothy, nudging the cowardly lion. Some pointed to eight o'clock, some to nine, and others to half past ten. Why shouldn't they be different? Asked, stickin' haughtily. Some run faster than others. Pass the time, please. Said the king, looking hard at Dorothy. The lazy lump. Giggled the cowardly lion. But Dorothy picked up the nearest little clock, and handed it to King Fix-Sit. I thought so. Yonder the king pointing at the clock. At this everybody began ringing bells till Dorothy was obliged to cover her ears. In an instant the whole street was filled with beds. I'm rolling up just as if they were taxis. Laughed Dorothy to Sir Hocus. The night smiled faintly, but as he had never seen a taxi he could not appreciate Dorothy's remark. Here come your beds. Said the king shortly. Tell them to take you round the corner. I can't abide snoring. I don't snore, thank you. Said Dorothy angrily, but the king had stepped into his bed and drawn the curtains tight. We might as well go to bed, I suppose. Said the little girl. I'm so tired. The three beds were swaying restlessly in the middle of the street. They were tall, four-poster affairs with heavy chintz hangings. Dorothy chose the blue one, and Sir Hocus lifted her up carefully, and then went off to catch his bed, which had gotten into an argument with a lamp post. When he spoke to it sharply, it left off and came trotting over to him. The cowardly lion, contrary to his usual custom, leaped into his bed, and soon the three four posters were walking quietly down the street, evidently following the king's instructions. Dorothy slipped off her shoes and dress, and nestled comfortably down among the soft covers. Just like sleeping in a train. She thought drowsily. What a lot I shall have to tell the scarecrow and osmo when I get home. Good night! Said the bed politely. Good night! Said Dorothy, too nearly asleep to even think it strange for a bed to talk. Good night! CHAPTER XIII It must be a shipwreck. Thought Dorothy, sitting up in alarm. She seemed to be tossing about wildly. Time for little girls to get up! Grumbled a harsh voice that seemed to come from the pillows. Dorothy rubbed her eyes. One of the bed-posts was addressing her, and the big four-poster itself was dancing a regular jig. Oh! Stop! cried Dorothy, holding on to the post to keep from bouncing out. Can't you see I'm awake? Well, I go off duty now, and you'll have to hurry. Said the bed sulkily. I'm due at the lecture at nine. Lecture? Gasped Dorothy. What's so queer about that? Demanded the bed coldly. I've got to keep well-posted, haven't I? I belong to a polish set I do. Hurry up, little girl, or I'll throw you out. I'm glad my bed doesn't talk to me in this impertinent fashion. Thought Dorothy, slipping into her dress and combing her hair with her side comb. Imagine being ordered about by a bed. Hmm, I wonder if Sir Hocus is up. Holding the curtain, she jumped down, and the bed, without even saying good-bye, took itself off. Sir Hocus was sitting on a stile, polishing his armour with a pillow slip he had taken from his bed, and the cowardly lion was lying beside him, lazily thumping his tail and making fun of the passing furniture. Have you had breakfast? Asked Dorothy, joining her friends. We were waiting for your ladyship. Chuckled the cowardly lion. Would you mind ordering two for me, Hocus? I find one quite insufficient. Sir Hocus threw away the pillow slip, and talking cheerfully they walked toward King Fix-Sit's circle. The beds had been replaced by breakfast tables, and the whole street was eating busily. Good morning, King. Said Sir Hocus. For breakfasts, please. The King rang a bell four times without looking up from his oatmeal. Seeing that he did not wish to be disturbed, the three waited quietly for their tables. Hmm, in some ways, said Dorothy, contentedly munching a hot roll. In some ways. This is a very comfortable place. And soothed is that. Mumbled Sir Hocus his mouthful of baked apple. As for the cowardly lion, he finished his two breakfasts in no time. And now, said Sir Hocus as the tables walked off, let us continue our quest. Could tell us the way to Emerald City, my good King Fix? If you go, go away. And if you stay, stay away. That's my motto. I can't have people running around here like common furniture. He added an aggrieved voice. All the fix-its knotted vigorously. Let them take their stand, or their departure. Said Stick and Plaster firmly. The King felt in his pocket and brought out three pieces of chalk. Go to the end of the street. Choose a place and draw your circle. In five minutes, you will find it impossible to move out of the circle. And you will be saved all this unnecessary motion. But we don't want to come to a standstill. Objected Dorothy. No, by my good sword. Spluttered the night, glaring around nervously. Then, seeing the King look displeased, he made a low bow. If your Highness could graciously direct us out of the city. Buy a piece of road and go where it takes you. Snapped the King. Seeing no more was to be got out of him, they started down the long street. I wonder what they do when it rains. Said Dorothy, looking curiously at the solemn rows of people. Call for roof, silly. Snapped a fix, staring at her rudely. If you would spend your time thinking instead of walking, you'd know more. Go to and swallow a gooseberry. Roared the night, waving his sword at the fix, and Dorothy, fearing an encounter, begged him to come on, which he did, though with many backward glances. Fixed city seemed to consist of one long street, and soon they had come to the very end. Odds, daggers! Gasped Sir Hocus. Great palm trees! Roared the cowardly lion. As for Dorothy, she could do nothing but stare. The street ended surely enough, and beyond there was nothing at all. That is nothing but air. Well, said the cowardly lion, backing a few paces. This is a pretty fix. Glad you like it. Said a wheezy voice. The three travelers churned in surprise. A huge fix was regarding them with interest. His circle, which was the last in the row, was about 20 times as large as the other circles, and on the edge stood a big sign, Road Shop. Don't you remember? The king said something about buying a road. Said Dorothy, in an excited undertone to the night. Can'ts direct us to a road, my good man! Asked Sir Hocus with a bow. The fix jerked his thumb back at the sign. What kind of road do you want? He asked hoarsely. A road that will take us back to the Emerald City, please. Said Dorothy. I can't guarantee anything like that. Said the fix, shaking his head. Our roads go where they please, and you'll have to go where they take you. Do you want to go on or off? On. Shivered the cowardly lion, looking with a shutter over the precipice at the end of the street. What kind of road will you have? Make up your minds, please. I am busy. What kind of roads have you? Asked Dorothy timidly. It was her first experience at buying roads, and she felt a bit perplexed. Sunny, shady, straight, crooked, and crossroads. Asked the fix. We wouldn't want to cross one. Said Dorothy positively. Have you any with trees at both sides and water at the end? How many yards? Asked the fix, taking a pair of shears as large as himself off a long counter beside him. Five miles. Said Sir Hocus as Dorothy looked confused. That ought to take us somewhere. The fix rang one of the bells in the counter. The next minute a big trap door in the ground opened and a perfectly huge roll bounced out at his feet. Get on. Commanded the fix in such a sharp tone that three jumped to obey. Holding fast to Sir Hocus, Dorothy stepped on the piece of road that had already unrolled. The cowardly lion, looking very anxious, followed. No sooner had they done so than the road gave a terrific leap forward that stretched the three flat upon their backs and started unwinding from its spool at a terrifying speed. As it unrolled, tall trees snapped erect on each side and began laughing derisively at the three travelers huddled together in the middle. Who had we only took five miles? Stuttered Dorothy to the night whose armor was rattling like a ford. The cowardly lion had wound his tail around a tree and dug his claws into the road, for he had no intention of falling off into nothingness. As for the road, it snapped along at about a mile a minute, and before they had time to grow accustomed to this singular mode of travel, it gave a final jump that sent them circling into the air and began rapidly winding itself up. Down, down, down, world, Dorothy, falling with a resounding splash into a broad stream of water, then down, down, down again almost to the bottom. Help! Screamed Dorothy as her head rose above water, and she began striking out feebly. But the fall through the air had taken all her breath. What do you want? A thin, neat little man was watching her anxiously from the bank, making careful notes in a book that he held in one hand. Help! Save me! Dorothy, feeling herself going down in the muddy stream again. Wait! I'll look it up under the ages. Called the little man, making a trumpet of his hands. Are you an island? An island is a body of land entirely surrounded by water. But this seems to be a some body. Dorothy heard him mutter as he whipped over several pages of his book. Sorry. He called back, shaking his head slowly. But this is the wrong day. I only save lives on Monday. Stand aside, ma'am. You villain! A second little man exactly like the first except that he was exceedingly untidy plunged into the stream. It's no use. Thought Dorothy, closing her eyes, for he had jumped in far below the spot where she had fallen and was making no progress, whatever. The waters rushed over her head the second time. Then she felt herself being dragged upward. When she opened her eyes the cowardly lion was standing over her. Are you all right? He rumbled anxiously. I came as soon as I could, fell in way upstream. Seen Hocus? Oh, he'll drown! cried Dorothy, forgetting her own narrow escape. He can't swim in that heavy armor. Never fear, I'll get him. Puffed the cowardly lion, and without waiting to catch his breath he plunged back into the stream. The little man who only saved lives on Monday now approached timidly. I'd like to get a statement from you, if you don't mind. It might help me in the future. You might have helped me in the present, said Dorothy, ringing out her dress. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. I'll make a note of that, said the little man earnestly. But how did you feel when you went down? He waited, his pencil poised over the little book. Go away, cried Dorothy in disgust. I'm not my dear young lady. I'm not your dear young lady. Oh, dear, why doesn't the cowardly lion come back? Go away, mem. The second little man, dripping wet, came up hurriedly. I was only trying to get a little information. Grumbled mem, sulkily. I'm sorry I couldn't swim faster, said the wet little man, approaching Dorothy apologetically. Well, thank you for trying, said Dorothy. Is he your brother? And could you tell me where you are? You're dressed in yellow, so I suppose it must be somewhere in the winky country. Write him both cases. Chuckled the little fellow. My name is Ran, and his name is Memo. He jerked his thumb at the retiring twin. Random and Memo. See? I think I do. Said Dorothy, half-closing her eyes. Is that why he's always taking notes? Exactly. Said Ran. I do everything at random, and he does everything at Memo Random. It must be rather confusing. Said Dorothy. Then, as she caught sight of the cowardly lion dragging Sir Hocus, she jumped up excitedly. Ran, however, took one look at the huge beast and then fled, calling for mem at the top of his voice. And that is the last Dorothy saw of these singular twins. The lion dropped Sir Hocus in a limp heap. When Dorothy unfastened his armor, gallons of water rushed out. Show good of... of... you! Choked the poor knight, trying to straighten up. Save your breath, old fellow. Said the cowardly lion, regarding him affectionately. Oh, why did I ask for water on the end of the road? Side, Dorothy. But, anyway, we're in some part of the winky country. Sir Hocus, though still spluttering, was beginning to revive. Yon noble beast shall be knighted, Odds daggers. That's the second time he shaved my life. Rising unsteadily, he tottered over to the lion and struck him a sharp blow on the shoulder. Rise, sir cowardly lion! He cried hoarsely and fell headlong, and before Dorothy or the lion had recovered from their surprise he was fast asleep, mumbling happily of dragons and bludgeons. We'll have to wait till he gets rested. Said Dorothy. And until I get dry. She began running up and down, then stopped suddenly before the lion. And there's something else for Professor Wogglebug to put in his book. Sir Cowardly Lion? Oh, that. Mumbled the cowardly lion, looking terribly embarrassed. Who ever heard of a cowardly knight? Nonsense. No, it isn't nonsense. Said Dorothy Stoutly. You're a knight from now on. Won't the scarecrow be pleased? If we ever find him. Did the lion, setting himself beside Sir Hocus? We will. Said Dorothy Gailey. I just feel it. End of CHAPTER XIII. The Royal Book of Oz by Ruth Plumlee Thompson CHAPTER XIV. Sons and grandsons greet the scarecrow. Although the scarecrow had been on Silver Island only a few days, he had already instituted many reforms, and thanks to his cleverness, the people were more prosperous than ever before. Cheers greeted him wherever he went, and even old Chuchu was more agreeable, and no longer made bitter remarks to happy Toko. The scarecrow himself, however, had four new wrinkles, and was exceedingly melancholy. He missed the carefree life in Oz, and every minute that he was not ruling the island, he was thinking about his old home and dear jolly comrades in the Emerald City. I almost hope they will look in the magic picture and wish me back again. He mused pensively. But it is my duty to stay here. I have a family to support. So he resolved to put the best face he could on the matter, and happy Toko did his utmost to cheer up his royal master. The second morning after the great victory he came running into the silver throne room in a great state of excitement. The Honorable Offspring have a ribbon. Announced happy, turning a somersault. Come, ancient and amiable sir, and gaze upon your sons and grandsons. The scarecrow spring joyously from his silver throne, upsetting a bowl of silver fish and three silver vases. At last a real family. Ever since his arrival, the three princes and their fifteen little sons had been cruising on the royal pleasure barge, so that the scarecrow had not caught a glimpse of them. This is the happiest moment of my life. He exclaimed, clasping his yellow gloves and watching the door intently. Happy looked a little uneasy, for he knew the three princes to be exceedingly haughty and overbearing. But he said nothing, and the next minute the scarecrow's family stepped solemnly into the royal presence. Children cried the scarecrow, and with his usual impetuousness rushed forward and flung his arms around the first richly clad prince. Take care, take care, ancient and honorable papa. Cried the young silver men, backing away. Such excitement is not good for one of your advanced years. He drew himself away firmly, and adjusting a huge pair of silver spectacles, regarded the scarecrow attentively. Ah, how you have changed! He looks very feeble, too fang. But may he live long to rule this flowery island, and our humble selves. Said the second prince, bowing stiffly. Do you not find the affairs of state fatiguing, darling papa? Inquired the third prince, fingering a jeweled chain that hung around his neck. I, as your eldest son, shall be delighted to relieve you, should you wish to retire. Get back ten paces, you! He roared at happy toco. The poor scarecrow had been so taken aback by this cool reception that he just stared in disbelief. If the three honorable princes will retire themselves, I will speak with my grandsons. He said dryly, bowing in his most royal manner. The three princes exchanged startled glances. Then with three low salams they retired backward from the hall. And now, my dears! The scarecrow looked wistfully at his fifteen silken-clad little grandsons. Their silver hair, plaited tightly into little cues, stood out stiffly on each side of their heads, and gave them a very curious appearance. At his first word, the fifteen fell dutifully on their noses. As soon as they were right-side up, the scarecrow, beginning at the end of the row, addressed a joking question to each in his most approved oz style. But over they went again, and answered merely. Yes, gracious grand papa-pah! Or? No, honorable grand papa-pah! Then the constant bobbing up and down and pop-hying so confused the poor scarecrow that he nearly gave up the conversation. It's no use trying to talk to these children! He wailed in disgust. They're so solemn! Don't you ever laugh? He cried in exasperation, for he had told them stories that would have sent the oz youngsters into hysterics. It is not permissible for a prince to laugh at the remarks of his honorable grandparent. Whispered happy toco, while the fifteen little princes banged their heads solemnly on the floor. Honorable fiddle-sticks! Exclaimed the scarecrow, slumping back on his throne. Bring cushions! Happy toco ran off nimbly, and soon the fifteen little princes were seated in a circle at the scarecrow's feet. To prevent prostrations! Said the scarecrow. Yes, old grand papa-pah-pah-pah-pah-pah! Just the princes, bending over as far as they could. Wait! Said the scarecrow hastily. I'll tell you a story. Once upon a time, to a beautiful country called Oz, which is surrounded on all sides by a deadly desert, there came a little girl named Dorothy, a terrible gale. Well, what's the matter now? The scarecrow stopped short, for the oldest prince had jerked a book out of his sleeve, and was flipping over the pages industriously. It's not on the map, great grand papa-pah-pah! He announced solemnly, and all of the other little princes shook their heads, and said duly, Not on the map! Not on the map! Oz? Of course it's not. Do you suppose we want all the humans in creation coming there? Coming down, the scarecrow tried to continue his story, but every time he mentioned Oz, the little princes shook their heads stubbornly and whispered, Not on the map! Till the usually good-tempered scarecrow flew into perfect passion. Not on the map, you little villains! He screamed, forgetting they were his grandsons. What difference does that make? Are your heads solid silver? We do not believe in Oz. Perhaps the oldest prince serenely. There is no such place. No such place as Oz? Happy! Do you hear that? The scarecrow's voice fairly crackled with indignation. Why, I thought everybody believed in Oz. Perhaps your highness can convince them later. Suggested the imperial punster. This way, offspring. His master, he felt, had had enough family for one day. So the fifteen little princes, with fifteen stiff little boughs, took themselves back to the royal nursery. As for the scarecrow, he paced disconsolently up and down his magnificent throne-room, tripping over his kimono at every other step. You're a good boy, Tappy. Said the scarecrow as happy returned. But I tell you, being a grandparent is not what I thought it would be. Did you hear them tell me, right to my face, they did not believe in Oz, and my sons? Fault of their bringing up. Said happy toko, comfortingly. If your serene highness would just tell me more of that illustrious country. Happy knew that nothing cheered the scarecrow like talking of Oz, and to tell the truth, happy himself never tired of the scarecrow's marvelous stories. So the two slipped quietly into the palace gardens, and the scarecrow related, for the fourteenth time, the story of his discovery by Dorothy, and the story of Osma, and almost forgot that he was an emperor. Your highness knows the history of Oz by heart. Said happy admiringly as the scarecrow paused. I couldn't do that. Said the scarecrow gently. For you see, happy, I have no heart. Then I wish we all had none. The scarecrow looked embarrassed, so the little punster threw back his head and sang a song he had been making up while the scarecrow had been telling his stories. The scarecrow was standing alone in a field, inviting the crows to keep off. When straw in his chest began tickling his vest, and he couldn't resist a loud cough. The noise that was heard so surprised every bird that the flock flew away in a fright. But the scarecrow looked pleased, and he said if I'd sneezed, it wouldn't have been so polite. Oh! roared the scarecrow. You're almost as good at making verses as scraps. Write that down for me, Tappy. I'd like to show it to her. Whispered happy, holding up his finger warningly. The scarecrow turned so suddenly that the silver pigtail pinned to the back of his hat wound itself tightly around his neck. No wonder. On the other side of the hedge the three princes were walking up and down, conversing in indignant whispers. What a horrible shape our honorable papa has reappeared in. I hear that it never wears out. Muddered one. He may continue just as he is for years and years. How am I ever to succeed him, I'd like to know. Why, he may outlive us all. We might throw him into the Silver River. Said the second, hopefully. No use. Choked the third. I was just talking to the imperial soothsayer, and he tells me that no one from this miserable kingdom of us can be destroyed. But I have a plan. Incline your royal ears. Listen. The voices dropped to such a low whisper that neither happy nor the scarecrow could hear one word. Treason. Spluttered happy, making ready to spring through the hedge. But the scarecrow seized him by the arm and drew him away. I don't believe they like their poor papa. Exclaimed the scarecrow when they were safely back in the throne room. I'm feeling older than a kinkajoe. Ah, happy okoe. Why did I ever slide down my family tree? It has brought me nothing but unhappiness. End of Chapter 14 Chapter 15 of the Royal Book of Oz This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. The Royal Book of Oz by Ruth Plumlee Thompson. Chapter 15. The Three Princes Plot to Undo the Emperor Let me help your imperial serenity. Bring the cane. Carefully now. The Three Royal Princes, with every show of affection, were putting the scarecrow to the silver bench in the garden where he usually sat during luncheon. Are you quite comfortable? Ask the elder. Here, happy, you rogue, fetch a scarf for his imperial highness. You must be careful, dear papa scarecrow. At your age, draughts are dangerous. The rascally prince wound the scarf about the scarecrow's neck. What do you suppose they are up to? Ask the scarecrow, staring after the three suspiciously. Why this sudden devotion? It upsets my imperial serenity a lot. Trying to make you feel old. Grumbled happy. Several hours had passed since they had overheard the conversation in the garden. The scarecrow had decided to watch his sons closely and fall in with any plan they suggested, so they would suspect nothing. Then when the time came, he would act. What he would do, he did not know, but his excellent brains would not, he felt sure, desert him. Happy toko sat as close to the scarecrow as he could and scowled terribly whenever the princes approached, which was every minute or so during the afternoon. How is the scarecrow's celestial old head? Does he suffer from honorable gout? Should they fetch the imperial doctor? The scarecrow, who had never thought of age in his whole straw life, became extremely nervous. Was he really old? Did his head ache? When no one was looking, he felt himself carefully all over. Then something of his old-time-ah's spirit returned. Seizing the cushion that his eldest son was placing at his back, he hurled it over his head. Leaping from his throne, he began turning handsprings in a careless and sprightly manner. Don't you worry about your honorable old papa! Chuckled the scarecrow, winking at happy toko. He's good for a couple of centuries. The three princes stared sourly at this exhibition of youth. But your heart— Objected the eldest prince. Have none. Laughed the scarecrow. Snatching off the silver cord from around his waist, he began skipping rope up and down the hall. The princes, tapping their forehead significantly retired, and the scarecrow, throwing his arm around happy toko, began whispering in his ear. He had a plan himself. They would see. Meanwhile, off in his dark cave in one of the Silver Mountains, the Grand Ghee Wizard of the Silver Island was stirring a huge kettle of magic. Every few moments he paused to read out of a great yellow book that he had propped up on the mantle. The fire in the huge grate leaped fiercely under the big black pot, and the sputtering candles on each side of the book sent creepy shadows into the dark cave. Dark chests, books, bundles of herbs, and heaps of gold and silver were everywhere. Whenever the Ghee Wizard turned his back, a rheumatic, silver-scaled old dragon would crawl toward the fire and swallow a mouthful of coals, until the old Ghee Wizard caught him in the act and chained him to a ring in the corner of the cave. Be patient, little joy of my heart. Our future is about to be made. Hissed the wisened little man, waving a long iron spoon at the dragon. You shall have a bucket of red-hot coals. Every hour an iron-silver cap would a-tattle. Have not the royal princess promised it? The dragon shuffled about and finally went to sleep, smoking softly. Is it finished, son of a yellow dog? Through the narrow opening of the cave, the youngest prince stuck his head. I am working as fast as I can, honourable prince, but the elixir must boil yet one more night. Tomorrow, when the sun shines on the first bar of our celestial window, come, and all will be ready. Are you sure you have found it? Asked the prince, withdrawing his head for the smoking dragon and steam from the kettle made him cough. Quite short. Wheezed to the grand Ghee Wizard, and fell to stirring the kettle with all his might. The scarecrow, although busy with trials in the great courtroom of the palace, felt that something unusual was in the air. The princess kept nodding to one another, and the grand choo-choo and general mug-womp were heads together at every opportunity. Something's going to happen, Tappy. I feel it in my straw. Whispered the scarecrow as he finished trying the last case. At that very minute the grand choo-choo arose and held up his hand for silence. Everybody paused in their way to the exits and looked with surprise at the old silver men. I have to announce, said the grand choo-choo in a solemn voice, and Imperial Chang Wang Wo will tomorrow be restored to his own rightful shape. The grand Ghee Wizard of the realm has discovered a magic formula to break the enchantment and free him from this distressing scarecrow body. Behold for the last time the scarecrow of Oz. Tomorrow he will be our old and glorious emperor. Old and glorious? Gassed the scarecrow, nearly falling from his throne. Tappy! I forgot to lock up the wizards. Great cornstarch! Tomorrow I will be eighty-five years old. Such cheers greeted the grand choo-choo's announcement that no one even noticed the scarecrow's distress. I also have an announcement. Cried the eldest prince, standing up proudly. To make the celebration of my royal papa's restoration complete, we have chosen the lovely and charming orange blossom for his bride. Bride? Gulped the scarecrow. But I do not approve of second marriages. I refuse to. No one paid the slightest attention to the scarecrow's remarks. Hold my hand, Tappy. Side the scarecrow weakly. It may be your last chance. Then he sat up and stared in good earnest, for the prince was leading forward a tall, richly-clad lady. Orange blossom? Muttered the scarecrow under his breath. He means lemon peel. Silver grandmother, Tappy. Orange blossom was a cross-looking princess of seventy-five at least. She is a sister of the king of the Golden Islands. Whispered General Mugwump. Of a richness surpassing your own. Let me felicitate your highness. Fan me, Tappy. Fan me. Gasp the scarecrow. Then he straightened himself suddenly. The time had come for action. He would say nothing to anyone, but that night he would escape and try to find his way back to Oz, family or no family. He bowed graciously to princess Orange blossom, to the grand chuchu and to his sons. Let everything be made ready for the ceremony, and may tomorrow indeed bring me to myself. He repeated solemnly. Nothing was talked of that evening, but the emperor's impending marriage and the grand giwizard's discovery. The scarecrow seemed the least excited person in the palace. Sitting on his throne, he pretended to read the royal silver journal, but he was really waiting impatiently for the courtiers to retire. Finally, when the last one had bowed himself out and only happy toko remained in the throne room, the scarecrow began making his plans. It's no use, Tappy. Said he, tying up a few little trinkets for Dorothy and a silk handkerchief. I'd rather be straw than meat. I'd rather be a plain scarecrow in Oz than emperor of the earth. They may be my sons, but all they want is my death. I'm going to bring back my old friends. I'd rather... He got no farther. A huge slave seized him suddenly from behind while another caught happy toko around his fat little waist. Tie them fast. Said the eldest prince, smiling wickedly at the scarecrow. Here, tie him to the bean-stock, merely a part of the grand giwizard's formula. He exclaimed maliciously as the struggling scarecrow was bound securely to his family tree. Good night, dear papa scarecrow. Tomorrow you will be your old self again, and in a few short years I will be emperor of the Silver Islands. This rather upsets our plans. A-tappy? Wheezed the scarecrow after a struggle with his bonds. Pigs, weasels. Choked happy. What are we to do? Alas. Grown to the scarecrow. Tomorrow there will be no scarecrow in Oz. What will Dorothy and Ozma think? And once I am changed into my old imperial self, I can never make the journey to the Emerald City. 86 is too old for traveling. Has your majesty forgotten the wonderful brains given to him by the Wizard of Oz? I had, for a moment. Confess the scarecrow. Be quiet, tappy, while I think. Pressing his head against the magic beanpole, the scarecrow thought and thought, harder than he had ever done in the course of his adventurous life. And in the great, silent howl, happy toko struggled to set himself free. End of Chapter 15. Chapter 16 of the Royal Book of Oz. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. The Royal Book of Oz by Ruth Plumlee Thompson Chapter 16. Dorothy and her guardians meet new friends. While all these exciting things were happening to the poor scarecrow, Dorothy, Sir Hocus, and the Cowardly Lion had been having adventures of their own. For three days they had wandered through a deserted part of the winky country, subsisting largely on berries, sleeping under trees, and looking in vain for a road to lead them back to the Emerald City. On the second day they had encountered an ancient woodsman, too old and deaf, to give them any information. But, however, invite them into his hut and give them a good dinner and a dozen sandwiches to carry away with them. But, oh, for a good old pasty! Side Sir Hocus late on the third afternoon as they finished the last of the crumbly sandwiches. Do you know? Said Dorothy, looking through the straggly fields and woods ahead. I believe we've been going in the wrong direction again. Again? Choked the Cowardly Lion. You mean still? I've been in a good many parts of Oz, but this? This is the worst. Not even one little dragon. Sir Hocus shook his head mournfully. Then, seeing that Dorothy was tired and discouraged, he pretended to strum on a guitar and sang in his high-pitched voice. A rusty knight in steel bed-ite. And Lady Dot so fair, Sir Lion bold with mane of gold and might be sides to spa-ha-hair and might be side to spare the Dauntless Three Accompany of wit and bravery are who seek the valiant scarecrow man who seek him near and far, who seek him near and far. Oh, I like that! Cried Dorothy, jumping up and giving Sir Hocus a little squeeze. Only, you should have said trusty knight. The Cowardly Lion shook his golden mane. Let's do a little reconitering, Hocus. He said carelessly. He felt he must live up to the song somehow. Perhaps we'll find a sign. I don't believe in signs anymore. Laughed Dorothy. But I'm coming too. Sir Hocus's song had cheered them all and it wasn't the first time the knight had helped make the best of a tiresome journey. The air seemed to grow very hot. Observed Sir Hocus after they had walked along silently for a time. Hest, notice it, Sir Cowardly? No, but I've swallowed some of it. Coughed to the Cowardly Lion, looking suspiciously through the trees. I'll just step forward and see what it is. Said the knight. As he disappeared, the truth dawned on Dorothy. Wait, wait, don't go! Please, please, Sir Hocus, come back! Come back! Cried the little girl running after him as fast as she could. What's the matter? Rumbled the Cowardly Lion, thudding behind her. Then both, coming suddenly out of the woods, gave a terrible scream which so startled Sir Hocus that he fell over backwards. Just in time, too, for another step would have taken him straight on to the deadly desert, which destroys every living thing and keeps all intruders away from Oz. What befell? Puffed Sir Hocus getting to his feet. Naturally, he knew nothing of the poisonous sands. You did. Weezed the Cowardly Lion in an agitated voice. Was it a dragon? Asked the knight, limping toward them hopefully. Sit down. The Cowardly Lion mopped his brow with his tail. One step on that desert and it would have been one long good night. I should say it would. Shuttered Dorothy and explained to Sir Hocus the deadly nature of the sands. And do you know what this means? Dorothy was nearer to tears than even I liked to think about. It means we've come in exactly the wrong direction and are farther away from the Emerald City than we were when we started. And seek him near and far. Mumbled Sir Hocus with a very troubled light in his kindly blue eyes. And seek him near and far. For ha-har I should say it was. Said the Cowardly Lion bitterly. But you needn't sing it. No, I suppose not. Ud's helmet and Haburx. I suppose not. The knight lapsed into a discouraged silence and all three sat and stared drearily at the stretch of desert before them and thought gloomily of the rough country behind. It's a caravan. The horse voice. I doubt that, Cammie. I doubt it very much. The shrilled nasal voices so startled the three travelers that they swung about in astonishment. Great dates in deserts. Burst out the Cowardly Lion jumping up. And on the whole this exclamation was entirely suitable for ambling toward them were a long-legged camel and a wobbly-necked dromedary. At last a steed! Cried the knight bounding to his feet. I doubt that. The dromedary stopped and looked at him coldly. Try me! Said the camel amiably. I'm more comfortable. I doubt that, too. The doubtful dromedary wept as o'er the desert sands he stepped. Association with the Sphinx has made him doubtful so he thinks. He circled the knight with his head on one side. How did you know? Asked the dromedary, opening his eyes wide. It just occurred to me. Admitted Sir Hocus clearing his throat modestly. I doubt that, somebody told you. Said the doubtful dromedary bitterly. Pawn my honor. Said Sir Hocus. I doubt it, I doubt it very much. Persisted the dromedary wagging his head sorrowfully. You seem to doubt everything. Dorothy laughed in spite of herself and the dromedary regarded her soquely. He does. Said the camel. It makes him very doubtful company. Now I like to be comfortable and happy and you can't be if you're always doubting things and people and places. Am I dear? Where did you comfortable and doubtful parties come from? Asked the cowardly lion. Strangers here? Well, yes. Admitted the camel nibbling the branch of a tree. There was a terrific sandstorm and after blowing and blowing and blowing we found ourselves in this little wood. The odd part of it is that you talk in our language. Never knew a two leg to understand a word of Chamelea before. You're not talking Chamelea. You're talking Oz-ish. Laughed Dorothy. All animals can talk here. Well, now that's very comfortable I must say. Said the camel. And if you just tell me where to go it would be more comfortable still. I doubt that. Snapped the dromedary. There no caravan. Where do you want to go? Miss the cowardly lion ignoring the doubtful dromedary. Anywhere, just so we keep moving we're used to being told when to start and stop and life is mighty lonely without our caravan bushy. Said the comfortable camel. Why, I didn't know you smoked. Exclaimed Dorothy in surprise she thought the camel was referring to a brand of tobacco. He means his camel driver. Sir Hocus eyeing the soft pillowed seat on the camel's back along Ailey. Besides the seat great sacks and bails of goods hung from its sides. The doubtful dromedary was similarly loaded. Goodness. Exclaimed Dorothy. A sudden idea had struck her. You haven't anything to eat in those sacks, have you? Plenty, my child, plenty. Answered the camel calmly. Three cheers for the comfortable camel. Roared the cowardly lion while Sir Hocus, following the camel's directions, carefully unfastened a large woven basket from one of the sacks on its side. You may be my caravan bushy. Announced the comfortable camel judiciously as Sir Hocus paused for breath. Hear that, Lady Dot? Sir Hocus swept the camel about and fairly beamed with pleasure. Dorothy, meanwhile, had set out an appetizing repast on a small rocky ledge. A regular feast it appeared to the hungry travelers. There were loaves of black bread, figs, dates, cheese, and a curious sort of dried meat, which the cowardly lion swallowed in great quantities. Isn't this cozy? Said Dorothy, forgetting the long, weary way ahead. My, I'm glad we met you. Very comforting to us, too, my dear. Said the camel, swaying complacently. Isn't it doubty? There are some silk cushions in my right-hand saddle sack, but I doubt very much whether you'll like them. Mumbled the dromedary gruffly. Out with them! Cried Sir Hocus, pouncing on the doubtful dromedary, and in a minute each of the party had a cushion and was as snug as possible. Could anything have been more fortunate? Exalted the knight. We can now resume our journey properly mounted. The cowardly lion. Said Dorothy, looking uneasily at the high seat on the camel's back. Let's start, before it grows any darker. They had eaten to heart's content, and now, packing up the remainder of the feast, the little party made ready to start. Sir Hocus, using the cowardly lion as a footstool, mounted the camel, and then Dorothy climbed on her old friend's back, and the little caravan moved slowly through the forest. There's a tent in my left-hand saddle sack, but I doubt very much whether you can put it up. Said the doubtful dromedary, falling in behind the comfortable camel. I doubt it very much indeed. How now? What means this doubting? Called Sir Hocus from his perilous seat. I'll pitch it when the time comes. Mind you don't pitch out when the camel goes. Called the cowardly lion, who would have his little joke. Sir Hocus, to tell the truth, was feeling tossed about and dizzy, but he was too polite to mention the fact. As they proceeded, Dorothy told the comfortable camel all about the scarecrow and oz. An occasional word jolted down from above told her the night was singing. They had gone possibly a mile when Dorothy pointed in excitement to a road just ahead. We must have missed it before. Wait, I'll see what it's like. Jumping down from the cowardly lion's back, she peered curiously at the narrow, tree-lined path. Why, here's a sign. What of? Asked the comfortable camel, lurching forward eagerly and nearly unseating the night. Wish way? Read Dorothy in a puzzled voice. Looks like a pretty good road. Said the comfortable camel, squinting up its eyes. I doubt it, cammy. I doubt it very much. Said the doubtful dromedary tremulously. What does my dear carwin bossy think? Asked the comfortable camel, looking adoringly back at the night. It is unwise to go back when the journey lies forward. Said the night and immediately returned to his song. So, single file, the little company turned in at the narrow path, the comfortable camel advancing with timid steps and the doubtful dromedary bobbing his head dubiously. End of chapter 16 Chapter 17 of the Royal Book of Oz For a short time everything went well. Then Dorothy, turning to see how Sir Hocus was getting along, discovered that the doubtful dromedary had disappeared. Why, where in the world? exclaimed Dorothy. The comfortable camel craned his wobbly neck, and the dutiful dromedary had disappeared. Why, where in the world? exclaimed Dorothy. The comfortable camel craned his wobbly neck, and the dutiful dromedary had disappeared. Why, where in the world? The comfortable camel craned his wobbly neck, and when he saw that his friend was gone burst into tears. His sobs heaved Sir Hocus clear out of his seat and flung him, helmet first, into the dust. Go, too! exploded the night, sitting up. If I were a bird, riding in yon nest would be easier. The last of his sentence ended in a horse croak. Sir Hocus vanished, and a great raven flopped down in the center of the road. Oh, where is my dear Colin Bashi? Oh, where is Dorothy? screamed the comfortable camel, running around in frenzied circles. I wish I'd never come on this path. Magic! gasped Dorothy, clutching the cowardly lion's mane. The comfortable camel had melted into air before their very eyes. I doubt it. I doubt it very much. coughed a faint voice close to her ear. Dorothy ducked her head involuntarily as a big yellow butterfly settled on the cowardly lion's ear. Our doubtful friend. whispered the lion weekly. Oh, be careful, Dorothy, dear. We may turn into frogs or something worse any minute. Dorothy and the cowardly lion had had experiences with magic transformations and the little girl pressing her fingers to her eyes tried to think of something to do. The raven was making awkward attempts to fly and cawing. Go, too, now! every other second. Oh, I wish dear Sir Hocus were himself again. wailed Dorothy after trying in vain to recall some magic sentences. Presto, the night stood before them a bit breathless from flying but hearty as ever. I see, I see. said the cowardly lion with a little prance. Every wish you make on this road comes true. Remember the sign, wish-way. I wish the comfortable camel were back. I wish the doubtful dromedary were himself again. The cowardly lion rapidly, and in an instant the two creatures were standing in the path. Uds-botacans! So I did wish myself a bird. gasped the night rubbing his gauntlets together excitedly. There you are! There you are! cried the comfortable camel, stumbling toward him and resting his foolish head on his shoulder. Dear, dear Cowanbashi, and doubtful old fellow, there you are, too. Oh, how comfortable this all is. Not two, one. wheezed the doubtful dromedary. And cammy, I doubted very much whether I'd care for butter-flying. I just happened to wish myself one. Don't make any more wishes. said the cowardly lion sternly. He thinks a proper wish might serve us well. observed Sir Hocus. He had been pacing up and down in great excitement. Why not wish? Oh, stop! begged Dorothy. Wait till we've thought it all out. Wishing's awfully particular work. One person better speak for the party. said the cowardly lion. Now I suggest. Oh, be careful! screamed Dorothy again. I wish you would all stop wishing. Sir Hocus looked at her reproachfully. No wonder. At Dorothy's words they all found themselves unable to speak. The doubtful dromedary's eyes grew rounder and rounder. For the first time in its life it was unable to doubt anything. Now I'll have to do it all. thought Dorothy. In closing her eyes she tried to think of the very best wish for everybody concerned. It was night and growing darker. The cowardly lion, the camel, and dromedary, and Sir Hocus peered anxiously at the little girl, wondering what in the world was going to happen. Being wished around is no joke. For five minutes Dorothy thought and thought. Then standing in the middle of the road she made her wish in a clear, distinct voice. It was not a very long wish. To be exact it had only eight words. Eight short little words. But stars. No sooner were they out of Dorothy's mouth than the earth opened with a splintering crash and swallowed up the whole company. End of Chapter 17 Chapter 18 of the Royal Book of Oz This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. The Royal Book of Oz by Ruth Plumlee Thompson. Chapter 18 Dorothy Finds the Scarecrow The next thing Dorothy knew she was sitting on the hard floor of a great dark hall. One lantern burned feebly, and in the dim silvery light she could just make out the comfortable camel scrambling awkwardly to his feet. I smell straw. Sniffed the camel softly. I doubt very much whether I'm going to like this place. The voice of the doubtful dromedary came hesitatingly through the gloom. By sword and scepter. Gassed the night. Are you there, sir cowardly? Thank goodness, they are. Said Dorothy, wishing other people about is a risky and responsible business. They're all here, but I wonder where here is. She jumped up, but at a shuffle of feet drew back. Pigs, weasels. Shrilled an angry voice, and a fat little man hurled himself at Sir Hocus, who happened to have fallen in the lead. Uds, trudgens, and bludgens, and marg thy head. Roared the night, shaking him off like a fly. Tappy, tappy, my dear boy, caution. What's all this? At the sound of that dear, familiar voice, Dorothy's heart gave a skip of joy, and without stopping to explain, she rushed forward. Dorothy! Cried the scarecrow, stepping on his kimono and falling off his silvery throne. Lights, Tappy, more lights at once! But Tappy was too busy backing away from Sir Hocus of Pokes. Approach, vassal! Thundered the night, who understood not a word of Tappy's speech. Approach! I think I've been insulted! He drew his sword and glared angrily through the darkness, and Tappy, having backed as far as possible, fell heels over Pigtail into the silver fountain. At the loud splash, Dorothy hastened to the rescue. They're friends! And we found the scarecrow! We found the scarecrow! She seized Sir Hocus and shook him till his armor rattled. Tappy! Tappy! Called the scarecrow. Where in the world did he put Goda? That's exactly what he said, but to Dorothy it sounded like no language at all. Why? She cried in dismay. It's the scarecrow. But I can't understand a word he's saying. I think he must be talking turkey. Drone to the comfortable camel. Oh, donkey! I knew a donkey once, a very uncomfortable party. I— I doubt it's donkey. Put in the dromedary importantly, but no one paid any attention to the two beasts. For happy Toco had at last dragged himself out of the fountain and set fifteen lanterns glowing. Oh! Gasped, Dorothy as the magnificent silver throne room was flooded with light. Where are we? The scarecrow had picked himself up and with outstretched arms came running toward her talking a perfect Niagara of silver islandish. Have you forgotten your Oz-ish so soon? Rumbled the cowardly lion reproachfully as Dorothy flung her arms around the scarecrow. The scarecrow, seeing the cowardly lion for the first time, fairly fell upon his neck. Then he brushed his clumsy hand across his forehead. Wasn't I talking Oz-ish? He asked in a puzzled voice. Oh! Now you are! exclaimed Dorothy, and sure enough, the scarecrow was talking plain Oz-ish again. Which I don't mind telling you is also plain English. I have been watching this little reunion with hardly repressed emotion. Advancing hastily, he dropped on one knee. My good sword and lance are ever at thy service, my lord scarecrow. He exclaimed feelingly. Who is this impulsive person? Gulped the scarecrow, staring in undisguised astonishment at the kneeling figure of the Sir Hocus of Pokes. He's my night-errant, and he's taken such good care of me. exclaimed Dorothy eagerly. Splendid fellow! hissed the cowardly lion in the scarecrow's other painted ear. If he does talk odds and ends. Any friend of little Dorothy's is my friend. said the scarecrow, shaking hands with Sir Hocus warmly. But what I want to know is how you all got here. First tell us where we are. I'm going to the little girl, for the scarecrow's silver hat and cue filled her with alarm. You are on the silver island. said the scarecrow slowly. And I am the emperor, for his good-for-nothing spirit. And tomorrow? The scarecrow glared around wildly. Tomorrow I'll be eighty-five going on eighty-six. This broken ended in a barely controlled sob. Doubt that. Drawed the doubtful dromedary sleepily. Eighty-five years old. gasped Dorothy. Why, no one in Oz grows any older. We are no longer in Oz. The scarecrow shook his head sadly, then fixing the group with a puzzled stare, he exclaimed. But how did you get here? Wish. said the knight in a hollow voice. Yes. said Dorothy. We've been hunting you all over Oz. And at last we came to Wishway, and I said, I wish we were all with the scarecrow. Just like that. And next minute? We fell and fell and fell and fell. wheezed to the comfortable camel. And fell and fell and fell and fell. Drowned the dromedary. And? Here you are. Finished the scarecrow hastily, for the dromedary showed signs of going on forever. Now tell us every single thing that has happened to you. Demanded Dorothy eagerly. Happy Toco had recognized Dorothy and the Cowardly Lion from the scarecrow's description, and he now approached with an armful of cushions. These he set in a circle on a floor, with one for the scarecrow in the center, and with a warning finger on his lips placed himself behind his master. Tappy is right. exclaimed the scarecrow. We must be as quiet as possible, for a great danger hangs over me. Without more ado, he told them of his amazing fall down the Beanstalk, of his adventures on Silver Island, of his sons and grandsons, and the Gee Wizards elixir which should turn him from a lively scarecrow into an old, old emperor. All that I have told you, he told Dorothy up to the very point where his eldest son had bound him to the Beanpole and tied up poor, faithful Happy Toco. Happy, it seems, had at last managed to free himself, and they were about to make their escape when Dorothy and her party had fallen into the throne room. The comfortable camel and doubtful dromedary listened politely at first, and their exciting adventures fell asleep in the middle of the story. Nothing could have exceeded Dorothy's dismay to learn that the jolly scarecrow of Oz, whom she had discovered herself, was in reality Chiang Wang Wo, Emperor of Silver Island. Oh, this spoils everything! wailed the little girl. The thought of Oz without scarecrow was unthinkable. It spoils everything! You're going to adopt you and be your truly family, weren't we? The cowardly lion nodded. I was going to be your cousin. He mumbled in a choked voice. But now that you have a family of your own... The lion miserably slunk down beside Dorothy. Sir Hocus looked fierce and rattled his sword, but he could think of nothing that would help them out of their trouble. Tomorrow there won't be any scarecrow in Oz. Wailed Dorothy. Oh, dear! Oh, dear! And the little girl began to cry as if her heart would break. Stop, stop! Begged the scarecrow while Sir Hocus awkwardly padded Dorothy on the back. I'd rather have you for my family any day. I don't care at Kika Jew about being Emperor, and as for my sons, they are unnatural villains who make my life miserable by telling me how old I am. Just like a poem I once read. Said Dorothy, brightening up. You were old, Father William, the young man said, and your hair has become very white, and yet you incessantly stand on your head. Do you think, at your age, it is right? That's it, that's it exactly. Exclaim the scarecrow as Dorothy finished repeating the verse. You are old, Father Scarecrow, that's all I hear. I did stand on my head, too. And Dorothy, I can't seem to get used to being a grandparent. Added the scarecrow in a melancholy voice. It's turning my straws gray. He plucked several from his chest and held them out to her. Why, those little villains don't even believe in Oz. It's not under mappled grand-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p. He mumbled, imitating the tones of his little grandson so cleverly that Dorothy laughed in spite of herself. This is what becomes of pride. The scarecrow extended his hands expressively. Most people who hunt up their family trees are in for a fall, and I've had mine. But who do you want to be? Ask the knight gravely. A scarecrow in Oz or the...er... Emperor that you were? I don't care who I were. In his excitement, the scarecrow lost his grammar completely. I want to be who I am. I want to be myself. But which one? Ask the cowardly lion who is still a bit confused. Why, my best self, of course. Said the scarecrow with a bright smile. The sight of his old friend had quite restored his cheerfulness. I've been here long enough to know that I am a better scarecrow than an emperor. Why, how simple it is. Side-Dorothy contentedly. Professor Walgobug was all wrong. It's not what you were, but what you are. It's being yourself that counts. By my helodome, the little maid is right. Said Sir Hocus, slapping his knee in delight. Let your G-wizard but try his transformations out on him. But what says Yan, honest henchman? Happy Toko, although he understood no word of the conversation, had been watching the discussion with great interest. He had been a-trying to attract the scarecrow's attention for some time, but the knight was the only one who had noticed him. What is it, Tappy? Asked the scarecrow, dropping easily back into Silver Islandish. Honored master, the dawn approaches and with it the royal princess and the grand G-wizard and your bride. Happy paused significantly. The scarecrow shuddered. Let's go back to Oz. Said the cowardly lion uneasily. The scarecrow was feeling in the pocket of his old munch-consuit, which he always wore under his robes of state. Here. Said he, giving a little pill to happy Toko. It's one of Professor Wogglebug's language pills. He exclaimed to Dorothy. And will enable him to speak and understand Oz-ish. Happy swallowed the pill gravely. Greetings, honourable Ozites. He said politely as soon as the pill was down. Dorothy clapped her hands in delight, for it was so comfortable to have him speak their own language. I could never have stood it here without Tappy Oko. The scarecrow looked fondly at his imperial punster. Queer name he has. Rumbled the cowardly lion, looking at Happy Toko as if he had thoughts of eating him. Me thinks he should be knighted. Rumbled Sir Hocus beaming on the little silverman. Rise, sir Pudding. The sun will do that in a minute or more, and then we shall all be thrown into prison. Wailed Happy Toko, dismally. We were going to escape in a small boat. Explained the scarecrow. But... It was not necessary for him to finish. A boat large enough to hold Dorothy, the cowardly lion, the scarecrow, Happy Toko, the camel, and the dromedary could not very well be launched in secret. Oh, dear. sighed Dorothy. If only I'd wished you and all of us back in the Emerald City. You wished very well, Lady Dot. Said the knight. When I think of what I was going to wish for... What were you going to wish, Hocus? Ask the cowardly lion curiously. For a dragon. Faulted the knight, looking terribly ashamed. A dragon? Gasped, Dorothy. Why, what good would that have done us? Wait. Interrupted the scarecrow. I have thought of something. Why not climb my family tree? It is a long, long way, but at the top lies Oz. Grand Mercy, a pretty plan. Exclaimed Sir Hocus, peering up at the beanpole. Wouldn't that be social climbing? Chuckled Happy Toko, recovering his spirits with a bound. The cowardly lion said nothing, but heaved a mighty sigh which no one heard for they were all running toward the beanpole. It was a good family tree to climb, sure enough, for there are a handy little notches in the stalk. You go first. Sir Hocus helped Dorothy up. When she had gone a few steps the scarecrow, holding his robes carefully, followed. Then Honest Happy Toko. I'll go last. Said Sir Hocus bravely, and had just set his foot on the first notch when a horse screamed, rang through the hall. End of Chapter 18 Chapter 19 of the Royal Book of Oz. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, visit LibriVox.org. The Royal Book of Oz by Ruth Plumlee Thompson, Chapter 19. Planning to fly from the Silver Island. It was the comfortable camel. Waking suddenly, he found himself deserted. Oh, where is my dear Colin Boschie? He roared dismally. Come back! Come back! Hush up, can't you? Rumbled the cowardly lion. Do you want Dorothy and everybody to be thrown into prison on our account? We can't climb the beanpole and we'll have to wait here and face it out. But how uncomfortable! Wailed the camel. He began to sob heavily. Dorothy, although highest up the beanpole, heard all of this distinctly. Oh. She cried remorsefully. We can't desert the cowardly lion like this. I never thought about him. Spoken, like the dear little maid you are. Said the knight. The good beast never reminded us of it either. There's bravery for you. Let us descend at once. I'll not move a step without the cowardly lion. In his agitation, the scarecrow lost his balance and fell held long to the ground, knocking Sir Hocus's helmet terribly askew as he passed. The others made haste to follow him and were soon gathered gravely at the foot of the beanstalk. I'll have to think of some other plan. Said the scarecrow, looking nervously at the sky, which showed, through the long windows, the first streaks of dawn. The comfortable camel controlled its sobs with difficulty and pressed as close to Sir Hocus as it could. The doubtful dromedary was still asleep. It would have been a terrible climb. Mused the scarecrow, thinking of his long, long fall down the pole. Ah. I have it. What? Asked Dorothy anxiously. I wonder I did not think of it before. Ah. My brains are working better. I will abdicate. Exclaimed the scarecrow triumphantly. I will abdicate, make a farewell speech, and return with you to us. What if they refuse to let your raiden highness go? Put in happy toko tremulously. What if the G-Wizard should work his magic before you finish your speech? Then we'll make a dash for it. Said Sir Hocus, twirling his sword recklessly. I'm with you. Said the cowardly lion huskily. But you needn't have come back for me. All right. Said the scarecrow cheerfully. And now that everything settled so nicely, we might as well enjoy the little time left. Put out the lights, Tappy. Dorothy and I will sit on the throne, and the rest of you come as close as possible. Sir Hocus wakened the doubtful dromedary and pulled and tugged it across the hall, where it immediately fell down to sleep again. The comfortable camel ambled about eating the flowers out of the vases. The cowardly lion had placed himself at Dorothy's feet, and Sir Hocus and happy toko seated themselves upon the first step of the gorgeous silver throne. Then, while they waited for mourning, Dorothy told the scarecrow all about the pokes and fixed city, and the scarecrow told once again of his victory over the king of the Golden Islands. Where is the magic fan now? Asked Dorothy at the end of the story. The scarecrow smiled broadly, and feeling in a deep pocket brought out the little fan and also the parasol he had plucked from the beanstalk. Do you know? He said smiling. So much has happened. I haven't thought of them since the battle. I was saving them for you, Dorothy. For me? exclaimed the little girl in delight. Let me see them. The scarecrow handed them over obligingly, but happy toko trembled so violently that he rolled down the steps of the throne. I beg of you. He scrambled to his feet and held up his hands in terror. I beg of you. Don't open that fan. She's used to magic, Tappy. You needn't worry. Said the scarecrow easily. Of course I am. Said Dorothy with great dignity. But this will be mighty useful if anyone tries to conquer Oz again. We can just fan him away. Dorothy pulled a hair from the cowardly lion's mane and winding it around the little fan, put it carefully in the pocket of her dress. The parasol she hung by its ribbon to her arm. Perhaps Osma will look in the magic picture and wish us all back again? Said the little girl after they had sat for a time in silence. I doubt it. The dromedary stirred and mumbled in its sleep. Singular beast that. Ejaculated the night. Doubting never gets one anywhere. Hush. Warned the scarecrow. I hear footsteps. Come here. Sir Hoke is called hoarsely to the camel who is eating a paper lantern at the other end of the room. The beast ran awkwardly over to the throne and swallowing the lantern with a convulsive gulp settled down beside the dromedary. Whatever happens, we must stick together. Said the night emphatically. Ah! Dorothy held fast to the scarecrow with one hand and to the throne with the other. The sun had risen at last. There was a loud crash of drums and trumpets, a rush of feet, and into the hall marched the most splendid company Dorothy had seen in her whole life of adventures. End of Chapter 19