 Does self growth have to suck? Seems like a kind of fair question, right? I mean, if you want to get fit, going to the gym for most people is not that fun if we're out of shape. Or if I want to feel better, eating a better diet instead of having a Coke and an English muffin in the morning, probably is a lot harder. Sucks compared to eating oatmeal and maybe getting green tea. But I do think there is one fundamental exercise that can really help. And the exercise is maybe painful because it confronts oneself. And like Carl Jung said, where there is true healing, there's often that first descent into hell because we have to confront the shadow aspects of ourselves. So in this video, let's talk about the self growth exercise that sucks, but really works. What's up, you guys? Alex Haing, author of the health book, Master the Dizzle, also known as Master of the Day. But you've heard me say it 862 times, probably. Before we jump in, there's a free goal setting worksheet below this video that will help you figure out how to have the best year ever of your life. Folk show, so you should download it. It's right below the video, all right? Let's jump in. Let's talk about what doing the work looks like because journaling, reading, Master the Dizzle, all these exercises can be cutesy, resistance based exercises that are not really the work because the real work often kind of sucks. You know, I'm thinking a lot about Robert Green's book lately, The Laws of Human Nature. And he often gives these great historical anecdotes of people who are iconic throughout history to demonstrate certain strengths and certain flaws of character. And one of the persons or people I was thinking about was Howard Hughes. Now, Howard Hughes is pretty renowned in Hollywood history, but one thing that struck me about how Howard Hughes grew up was that he started off as this very innocent little boy that was very polite. And then his mom died in her late 30s. I think she was only 39. And then after the death of his mother, his father just collapsed soon after and died two years later. So little Howard is only 19 or so and this little cute polite nice little boy suddenly becomes an asshole. And he starts being mean to his relatives. He starts speaking out. He starts acting out. And in other words, this little Howard Hughes starts venting his true colors. He didn't change. He just stopped being polite. He stopped doing what other people wanted. This acting out of Howard Hughes eventually manifested in many different ways throughout his life. First of all, it manifested in many other ways where he was super entitled and he thought that he could build this aerospace company even though he had no experience or that he could direct his own movies even though he had no experience. And in this kind of megalomania that manifested in his life and the inability to listen to other people ended up not only leading to some of his great success but often his great failures. And secondarily, why he was often not very well liked and people would quit jobs just so they could not have to speak to this damn dude. Now Steve Jobs has some similar qualities here where as a kid, there's the famous anecdote in his biography of a little girl that said, you know how kids tease each other. She said, your parents gave you up for adoption because they didn't love you. And his adopted parents said, no, Steve, we adopted you and we chose you because you're special. Now Steve Jobs obviously went on to build this visionary company called Apple but Steve Jobs behind the scenes was not usually a very well liked person. He was known for being an asshole. He was known for being rude and being a task master and other business people know Steve Jobs' reputation for being an asshole and not that likable person. So we have this seemingly contradictory life that shows up high achievement with poor character. And the reason I share these stories is because what I think doing the work truly looks like to be not only an exceptional iconic person whether that is small within your family or whether that is large as a public figure is about character first because you can become successful as an asshole or as someone who doesn't treat people well but do you want to become holistically successful as that kind of person? Now when we talk about great failures we're often not talking about business failures we're talking about failures of character. So does growth really have to suck, right? Does it have to suck because you want to get fit and you don't want to go to the gym and you're going to push yourself or because it's way easier to set a home and play video games than it is to go out and take a dance lesson, a salsa class and go talk to that pretty girl or that attractive guy or it's easier to come home after your nine to five and just not do anything and watch Love is Blind Brazil not that I've been watching that at all, you weirdos then it is to come home and write in your book to write the damn book you've been talking about for years or to shoot a video like this after you got home from work and you're tired and you're cranky and you know you don't know what you're gonna write about or you're talk about or you're gonna podcast about the self-growth have to be hard. I don't think so but I do think character growth is often really challenging because you have to confront the things about yourself that often you've been running from your whole life. You know I think the most powerful and the most difficult growth comes from character growth. When I say the most powerful, I mean it will transform your life in the most extreme and profound ways. A bunch of years ago I realized that the three goals that I wanted the most to get a girlfriend, you know we're talking 10 years ago to get fit and to be the kind of guy that was a great leader not because he was trying to be a leader but because his life was so exceptional that people would wanna follow it because they wanted to do the same. I realized the only trait behind that those three things that I was lacking was really guts. So even though I anatomically had balls I didn't metaphorically have balls, right? And I was trying to find my spiritual cojones and I could not get them. I couldn't figure out where to get them from because like you it's scary to have to go talk to a pretty girl every time I see one. It's scary to have to go to the gym when you view yourself as the least fit or most out of shape person there. It's scary to wanna talk to strangers on the internet in front of a freaking camera. It's scary to do all those things. And so I realized that looking in the mirror I thought of myself as a brave person or gutsy but when we're talking about reality objectively I didn't really see that. And so to be able to face myself in the mirror and realize maybe I'm not as brave as I think I am is not a very fun thing to realize about yourself, right? Or maybe I'm not as cool as I think I am or as likable or whatever it is. And so that character growth for me just meant playing these failure games for a year, right? What does the fearful person do? What does the fearless person do? I did that every single day for a year. So the next time I went to Jamba Juice and I saw that cute girl that kept making my Rasmutaz smoothie, I asked her out. And even though she said no, I just leveled up. One experience points for courage, for virtual Cajones, the doge coin of Cajones, right? And the next time I was like, man, I have so many ideas I wanna share on the internet. And I don't know if people are gonna hate him or they're gonna hate me or gonna comment on my, you know, that one pimple I had that one day or I didn't take a shower before shooting a video, but I shot that video. And wasn't that good? No one commented, one person liked it. It was my little brother because he thought it was cool. I put a video on YouTube, but guess what? I got that one XP point, one more digital Cajone. And the next time I was like, man, I've always wanted to do something cool, like a Tough Mudder race or go on an adventurous trip. And then eventually I booked that 5K Spartan race. And even though I was slow and even though I ran a 10 minute mile on average and I got electrocuted and I came out with bruises and bumps and bleeding a little bit, you know what? I ran a 5K Spartan race. And when you do this, when you look at yourself in the mirror and realize that character is almost always the thing lacking and not the how to and not the what do I do next and not the waiting for permission, like who am I? When you realize that it's character, nothing else, not how to, not have, it's not none of that. But building a congruent character is the thing that makes the difference. Everything in life will change. And that is not so easy because character takes a long time to build. But as Heraclitus said, character is fate. And we'll leave you guys with that today. So character is fate, focus on it. It's no joke, it will change your life. It's not a cutesy little journaling exercise. It's not some fluffy BS. Alex wrote in his book, Master the Day, it's hard work. And it's often scary, uncomfortable work. But it is the only thing that truly matters. And it is something that is often lacking today. So get the free goal setting worksheet below this video. Work on your character and read Master the Dizzle. All right, you guys, we'll see you in the next video. Watch these other videos here. Ciao.