 I don't know who this video's for. I imagine watching this video would be very frustrating, but you know what? This is my life, so we're gonna do it. As many of you guys know with my dog, Mr. Marbles, who is a Chihuahua, he is back here behind the screaming one. Marbles is 10 years old. He's gonna be 11, okay, you know what? He's gonna be 11 in June. It took me two entire years to teach him how to sit when he was a puppy. I don't know if you know what that feels like. Trying to teach a dog to sit every day for two years. He did learn how to do it, but the only stipulation is that he will only ever sit on carpets, which is very adorable and I'm very proud of him. But I feel like his quality of life would be much better if he could understand that on a hard surface, it's okay to just relax a little. He needs to be on guard. The only time he can be comfortable is when it's soft and cushy. I think in 2019, I'm gonna make it my goal to teach this dog how to sit on a hard surface. And it took me two years to teach him in the first place. I'm expecting maybe double that because he's an old dog learning a new trick, a new trick. If it takes four years, I'm gonna do it, but I think it would vastly improve his quality of life to just be able to sit on a hard surface. What do you think, Marble? Honestly, sometimes it's like speaking to a goldfish. It's not like I'm completely inadequate at teaching dogs either. Like I'm not a dog trainer, but like, here, pitchy up. Oh, God. Like, we've taught the dogs plenty of tricks. With a willing participant, I feel like I can do okay. Sit. Good girl. Kermit, high five. Good boy. Speak. Good girl. I've also taught them how to do this. Good boy, Kermit. Good boy. Good boy, Kermit. Good girl, pitchy. You gotta hit the bell. Good boy, Kermit. Don't ask me why I did this because I created a hell for myself, but you know what? It's fun. It's fun. I feel like I have a basic understanding of how to teach a dog how to do something. I just have a dog that doesn't think, I think. I don't think he thinks at all. It's just, he's pure dog. There's no like, oh, if I do X, I'll get a treat. It's just, I'm here. There's food. Turn on the cute, you know? I put the yies upstairs. So if you hear any loud digging and or barking, they're not happy about this, but we're gonna try. Hi, honey. Why don't you show everyone that you know how to sit? Let's go to the carpet so we can get rewarded for a little bit, yes? Come to the carpet. Sit. Rubble sit. Sit. Rubble sit. Oh, that was very enthusiastic. Sit. Sit. Sit. Can you sit? Oh, sit. I swear he knows how to sit. Rubble sit. Sit. Sit. Good boy. Okay, so the other thing that we can't expect, that took two whole years. We cannot expect him to also eat it while he sits because I don't know if you just saw what happened, but this is about as good as we're ever gonna get. Rubble sit. Good boy. He gets a little scared when the food comes in, so he's gotta stand back up. But this is proof that he does know how to sit. He just will only do it on a soft surface. Sit. Good boy, I'll take that. I'll take anything, honestly. Don't even get me started on trying to get him to eat off of anything that's not the floor. This boy will just die of starvation than eat his food off of a dish or a mat or anything. Good boy. Now comes the test, little man. So Marple, it's the same thing. Oh, that's very cute. It's just on a flat surface. Sit. Sit. Sit. Can you sit? Can you sit? That's so cute. Let me help you, come here. Come on, okay. Marple, sit. Oh, sit. Good boy. You can do it. I believe in you. Yes, mommy did this every day for two years. I believe in you, sit. So the dogs are being loud and bad upstairs, so we made a peanut gallery. Just sit. All you have to do is sit. Just touch your butt to the ground. Good boy. Kermit's not happy. Come on. I don't know why you keep backing away from it. Oh, that's very cute. You can do it. I believe in you. You can sit. Sit. Oh, good boy, you almost did it. Come on, honey. Sit. Oh, good boy. I know you can do it. I know you have it in you. Kermit's screaming. Kermit, you ruin it for him. You can't be in here. Very cute, very cute. 10 out of 10, cute. It's not a sit, though. Can I get a sit? You're getting close. You sit, sit, sit. Good boy, you can do it. Is this video gonna be four years long? Well, we have 128 gigabytes of carbon, so. Okay. At least that and then some. Can you sit? I don't know what this nipping is that he's developed. Sit. Nor do I understand when he started making noises. I was, oh, he's frustrated. He doesn't know what I want from him. All you have to do is sit. Just sit, bud. Just sit. I will sit. He's doing movements. Good boy. He's doing movements that on paper are way harder than sit. Way harder. That's really cute, but you can also just sit and get it so fast. Once you figure it out and it's like boom, boom, boom. Treat, treat, treat. But you gotta just put that butt on the ground and just relax for a second. Think about relaxing, Marble. Okay, sit. Okay, that's really cute. Marble, sit. Buddy, come on. Marble. No, Marble. Marble, maybe just sit. Just sit on your butt. Just sit. Just sit. It's not hard, honey. I promise it's not hard. Sit. Oh, good boy. This is getting aggressive. Sit. Don't just sit, bud. Can you sit? Can you sit? So imagine this for two years every day straight, trying to get him to learn how to sit. This is what I did for two years. Where do you find that kind of patience? I love him. I don't do anything for him. Remember, we did this before. He doesn't remember anything. He forgets me every day. Marble. Marble, sit. Oh, okay, cough, break. Marble. Sit. Can you sit? I want him to know that he can sit. Do you know how many times I'm in the bathroom doing my makeup? Just, you know, sitting down or like in my room, whatever. And he's just standing there on all fours because he feels like he can't sit anywhere. He just stands and stares. He doesn't know that you can just sit down. That's no way to live, Marble. I know some dogs don't like to sit on hard surfaces. He'll lay outside in the sun and like enjoy himself. So I know he will lay on the ground or sit on the ground. He just has a thing where he just will only put his butt on a really soft pillow or carpet. Look at that. That's a good boy. That's a sit. I'll never give up on you, Marble. I don't see any signs of progress here. It's progress. No, I don't see any signs of progress. It is progress. He's repeating the same exact word. I'm going to take him to the carpet really quick. Just remind him what a sit is and that he knows how to do it. Marble, come on. Sit. Sit. We can get a green screen colored carpet. We can sit on it and then green screen it hard with floor. Sit. Oh. Sit. Marble sit. You can do it. Marble sit. Maybe that is our only option, to green screen a hardwood floor. You see that? Did you see him do it? He did it for a split second. That means he's going to forget it by tomorrow. We have to do it every day. So he doesn't forget. You just did it. You just did it honey. You can do it again. Marble sit. Yes, you're very determined. You're fearless. Yes, you are. You're a good boy and you're so smart. My smartest dog. I've ever met such a smart boy, Marble. You can do it. Who's my smart boy? You just know the answer. Marble, who's my smart boy? Who's my smart boy? Sit. Sit. Sit. Sit. Sit. Marble, listen to me. Okay? I will take that. Oh, he already forgot what happened. Marble, listen. Okay? There's people watching you right now. Okay, Marble? And they want to see you win. They want to see you win, Marble. Marble, give us a win. Sit. Marble, sit. Sit. Oh, that was really close bud. Come on. What's in your mouth? What's in your mouth? Marble, sit. So far, we've had one sit on the ground and one lay down. I'd say this is a success. Julian. Seven out of ten. Oh, did you see that? He did it all by himself. Did you see it? You're lying and I recorded the whole lie. Hey, Marble. Sit. So close. God, that was so close. Yeah, try this way. Oh my God. So close. We're gonna have to slow that down. Sit. Sit. Oh, that's a good boy. We're all rooting for you, Marble. We want you to win. All you have to do is sit. Sit. Now, see what happens is, if I can ever sit, get him to do that. Obviously, in between sitting, he doesn't really remember what the trick is. But the fun part is, is that if we wake up and do it all again tomorrow, he remembers nothing from today. Hey, that's why I want you to stay. Did you see how long that sit was? It was like three whole seconds. Really impressive. Thank you very much. I know I'm available for hire. Marble, come here. Sit, sit. Are you not impressed? I'm blown away, can you not throw up? Someday, okay? He's gonna be on one of those pet shows where they're like doing all the tricks and like parrots are talking and stuff and I'm just gonna have him sit on a hard surface and it's gonna be incredible. Can you sit? Have you thought about maybe sitting? Sit. Sit. Jesus Christ. What, Julian? Don't make fun of him, okay? This is the speed that he learns at. Can you sit? If I keep pushing his butt down, he'll think that the trick is, you push my butt down and then he gave me a treat. He's like, push my butt down, go, I'm ready. Yeah, I'm ready for you to push my butt. Sit. Sit. Where are you going? Do you think we're getting anywhere? Absolutely not. Wow, you're really cute though. Look at you go, yeah. Marble, marble. Could you just sit the fuck down? Sit. Jesus Christ. Boy, I was so worried. That was unbelievable. Wow, you're the smartest dog you have ever seen, honey. Okay, can you do it again? Sit. You can see it on his face that he has no recollection of sitting, even from five seconds ago. He really doesn't remember that he just did it. He's learning a brand new trick right now. Every time it's a brand new trick. Brand new trick. Hey, look at that trick you just learned. Brand new trick called sit. If you're not gonna be supportive, you can get out. No need to scream about it, just sit down. So close, Marble Sit. Wow, you really know all the ways to just pull my strings to circumvent you having to actually sit, don't you? That little noise, those little hands, the little snorts. It all works. It really does, it works. Cause you're so cute and then it makes you feel bad. So then I give you a treat, but you just, you will never sit for me, huh? Come here. That was so close, you're noble. Oh, are we starting to lose interest? Never. Why is it insane? What? He's the companion dog. He's not a border collie, okay? He's the standing companion dog. Oh, hi. Did you see that? I saw it. Did you see that? It was unbelievable. Oh my God. Up there with the solar eclipse, just one of the most incredible things. Right? That's what I'm saying. Daddy's gonna help you. Good boy. He was holding him. Good job. This is Falls Hope because tomorrow it'll be this all over again. He never learns. Marble Sit. Right, he's short. Three times in a row. Marble Sit. Information was lost, had treats that am confused now. Remember, it's nothing. Sit. What about the ultimate test? Well, you do it. You're the Iggy's. They see how the other doggies are sitting. Can you sit? See how Peachy's sitting? Can you sit? Sit. Sit. I was so close. Kermit's so patient. He just sits. Chills. You're a very good boy Kermit Peachy rude. Good boy. That was really good. Aren't you proud of him? I'm so Marvel. Look at me, son. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you. I was really close, but Marvel Sit. Are you not entertained or impressed? I'm very, very impressed. I'm like blown away. Thank you. I can't believe my eyes. Thank you, me either. Yes, I am. Look how relaxing that is. Doesn't that feel nice? Yes, that feels good, huh? You look so happy and relaxed and silly undone. Do you remember how to sit? Sit. Marble Sit. You wanna end on a good one? I'm holding on my foot. Listen, okay? Chihuahuas are special little dogs. They need protect, they need love, they need patience. And I don't mind that you learn extra slow and that things are really hard for you because I adore you and you're such a wonderful little doggy. Excuse me, this is a video about me and Marvel, not you. Okay, that's fine. Okay, I don't know about that. But he is just such a wonderful, lovely dog. Excuse me, that I have been fortunate enough to get to spend 10 whole years with. May we have 10 more, Marble? And I know for a lot of people, watching this is completely maddening and frustrating. But to me, it's not because I love him and that's kind of what I signed up for when I got to Chihuahua. Excuse you. Maybe calm down. Okay, are you happy now that the video's about you? Shh. It's not a Karmit learns how to sit video, okay? No, no. I thoroughly enjoy having a Chihuahua for many of their other charming qualities that don't include being highly intelligent. He's a wonderful companion. He's a very good dog. He's very special and I'm very lucky to have him. And I have all the time in the world for you, bud. It's not like a life saving command for you to learn how to sit on a hard surface. I just think it might make your life like a little easier sometimes, you know? You don't have to feel like you have to stand and be on guard constantly. It's not that it's like gonna hurt you. You just, you feel a little uneasy, which I understand, because you're little and it must be hard navigating the world when you're that little. But whoever said you can't teach an old dog new tricks, take this. I really got everybody on that one. And you don't listen to those people that make funny, Marble, okay? I think you're smart. Yes, I do. Well, good job trying Marble and tomorrow and the next day and the next day will be right back at square one, but I'll be here with all the patience in the world for you, little guy, okay? Kermit, on the other hand, I don't have patience for that. I don't have patience for that. It's a lot of screaming for no reason. Do you wanna hug? Thank you. All right, you ready to feel really frustrated? Watch this, no treats. Sit. Well, that's it. I hope you enjoyed being frustrated or just having a good time with me because this is what I like to do. Make sure you subscribe to my channel. I put it in the face every Wednesday slash Thursday and I'm just gonna keep doing this. What's that, 51st dates or whatever? Living with Marbles is like living with someone with amnesia. So he's Drew Barrymore? Yeah, he's got like a day long sort of attention span and then he forgets everything and every new day is a new day. I think that's accurate. You're like living with a newborn infant. Is about me. Make about me. Look at me. Look what I'm doing. I'm doing something cool. Record me. Pay attention to me. Am good boy is. Is birthday. Is. All right, we're all very impressed. See you next week. Bye. Is is about me is.