 So, one of our newest members or newer members shared a story or post in the group that I thought it warranted a video on it. And she shares the story of a man who connected with her through Facebook. They met up for a date, they had a really good time or had a nice time, and he intimated he'd like to see her again, and then he started and he basically didn't follow up. And she followed up with a nice message, which is something I recommend. He expressed interest in seeing her again, and yet he hasn't pulled the trigger or moved through. So it kind of begs the question, why do men act interested, but at the same time act flaky? And one of the things she wrote in her post that I thought is worth sharing, she said question, why do I feel so lonely in this? Why does it feel one sided? Why did he hit me up again, hit me up to begin with? Why does he want, what does he want? Is he going slow? Is going slow okay? And no, there's no sex between us, what am I doing wrong? And I just want to say to the member that posted this, you are not doing anything wrong. What I think yet we all have to recognize is that when we meet total strangers, it's very rare that we have such a strong connection that we feel other than when we're experiencing lust or limerence, and I'll talk about that in a second. It's very rare that we actually go, wow, I want to invest in this person. Number one, number two, there's really no incentive investing in people today because these days, basically sex can be experienced for free. And what I mean is it used to be, if you wanted to be intimate with someone, you had to get married. And I say it used to be, I'm talking about 50, 100 plus years ago, for the most part. And these days, maybe a purchase of a dinner or two can get sex. Now, why am I relating this to sex is because men biologically are driven by that experience of physical intercourse with a person. And this is why when there is some physical attraction, you might notice men who come on strong love bomb and so forth. And what they're experiencing is either lust, which is that sexual desire, or limerence, which is extreme infatuation. That's why love bombing happens. And it's very easy to get very infatuated with someone in a short period of time. So when I come back, why do men act interested and at the same time act like he? Well, I want to share a personal story of a woman who did this. Actually, this relates to my son. He shared the story where he got up the confidence to walk up to someone recently at a restaurant dance hall place. And they struck up a conversation. They were really hitting it off. She expressed a ton of interest in him during the dancing and whatnot, handed his phone number. And then when he texted, she didn't respond. When he called, she didn't respond. When he did one follow-up text message, she didn't respond. Why would this happen? So this isn't singular to men doing this. This is equally men and women that can act interested and at the same time flaky. So I want to bring it back to what I shared earlier. It's very rare when we meet someone where we have an affinity for them, an affinity. I'm talking about, wow, this person is special. This person is different. Because the reality is when you're meeting total strangers, it's difficult to see the differences or what makes them special. It takes time for that to develop. It used to be, and when I think of my relationship with my beloved right now, we didn't physically meet for over a year. We developed a bit of friendship with one another. We built a bit of trust, a bit of safety with one another that made it easy for us to see one another when we physically didn't meet one another. And today, when you're coming so cold meeting someone, it's very rare that you have this affinity for them. And so what oftentimes happens is there's a slight bit of interest, but not enough to take it over the edge. And this is one of the dilemmas we are faced with today. And this is a very challenging one, because until a level of trust is built between two people, a level of safety, a level of interest, and men want to feel your interest just as much as you want to feel their interest. So I applaud her for making the effort, because that certainly demonstrated that she had interest. At the same time, it wasn't enough for him to go there. It's very rare when two people are genuinely interested in one another and then genuinely willing to invest time with one another and genuinely intentional about a long-term possibility with another. These are some of the hurdles that we have to overcome today. But why does this happen? It's because there isn't enough interest to take it over the edge. It's very difficult for that to occur on one or two meetings, again, if there isn't a level of safety, a level of trust that's been built. That's why I'm starting to believe that our current dating marketplace is quite a bit backwards. And many of you know I've been watching a show, Love is Blind, Married at First Sight, and I'm wondering if the unusual experiment on these shows have some value in that it makes, these are people, now mind you, this is reality TV, so it's a bunch of crap in my opinion. And yet the same time they are committed to the process, maybe their motivations aren't sincere, but I like the idea that they're committed to the process. They basically have to make a substantial commitment for this dynamic, this experience to move forward and then they're put in the incubator of living together. And by the way, the best way to know someone, to actually get to know someone is live with them. Whether we like it or not, you can date someone for three years, see each other every other weekend or every weekend or whatnot, and then once you live together, it can totally implode. I know some people that have spent years dating gotten married and the minute they moved in together, it imploded. Now, am I recommending living together with a total stranger? Absolutely not. At the same time, that's how you really get to know someone. Experiencing that in my own relationship with my beloved, and thankfully we were so aligned in our values, so aligned in our lifestyles, so aligned in our emotional maturity, and we have enough chemistry there to build the foundation of a relationship. Now the reality is we're talking about monumental, not monumental, that's not it. I think in many cases, a good, juicy, delicious, healthy relationship is the exception and not the rule. The rule today is a lot of short-lived experiences and relationships that go nowhere, and not to say anything doesn't have value. At the same time, enough of these experiences can cause emotional wear and tear on one's heart. This is why I created my private coaching to help you avoid many of the pitfalls. That's why I created my YouTube channel to avoid many of the pitfalls, so you don't go down this train of luster limerence that many do, and also don't go down the train of judging men because they're also just as confused as you are, like I mentioned with my son. So what's the bottom line here? My suggestion is to have more compassion and more heart and less judgment when it comes to men because most men are doing the best job they can, they're just not good at it. This is why I always invite women to recognize that they are the emotional leaders of the relationship and you are in charge of your relationship destiny, and you might want to start with a simple prayer. I'm experiencing an amazing, juicy, delicious relationship where we have incredible chemistry together, and our communication is off the charts and we can banter together for hours and hours of the time, and our lifestyles are compatible with one another and we share the same values and we have built the deep roots of trust to establish a foundation for a relationship to go the distance. This is not simply a prayer, this is what I'm experiencing and I invite you to call, come from the place of, build it and it will come. All right, I think you get to just to where I'm going today, I'd like to hear your thoughts on this, please post a comment below if it resonated with you or if you have something to share. As always, if you find value in the group, please tell your friends about Midlife Love Mastery, send them to my website, jonathanasli.com, have them click the group coaching button so they can join our fantastic group. And I'm going to sign up this video as I always do, first off, give myself a big gigantic jar of the bear of self love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm going to ask you to turn to someone at Daddy Bear Billow and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives, thanks a bunch, bye-bye, bye-bye.