 the narcissist thinks of you long after you're gone it ended badly for you with the narcissist maybe they discarded you or you got fed up and decided to leave them and then there was this period of no contact because it ended in a really bad way and there was no closure or validation they didn't want to talk about it they didn't tell you why they did what they did they didn't apologize and now they're moving on to a better situation with better people or at least that's what they want you to think because that's what you will see on their Facebook or Instagram you will see these four smiles and they're telling everyone they're happy while broadcasting the person they're with as though they're like this trophy this prize awarded to them for their victory or success and they will tell people they found the love of their life they found the one they found their soulmate so you will assume that they've moved on you will assume that they've forgotten about you when the reality is that they haven't they're still thinking about you it may seem like they're just these mindless robots with no feelings because they're self-absorbed that they lack empathy but that does not mean they don't suffer it means that while they don't care about you they still care about themselves and their own suffering because their narcissist they believe the whole world revolves around them so all they care about is everything that has to do with them they're not concerned about anything outside of that because they have a personality disorder which means that they can't have relationships with people because a relationship is a way in which two or more people or things are connected and while you may have felt connected to them you also felt like they were never connected to you because they can't connect to people in the way that you can they can't experience that they can't form or maintain healthy relationships with people which is tragic and devastating because for us relationships are the most important things in our lives especially the relationship that we have with ourselves but if you felt like the narcissist wasn't connected to you it means that they're not connected to themselves which means that they don't even know who they are which is why they can't form or maintain healthy relationships with people because they have nothing to give they have nothing of value so they can't relate to you they can't feel sympathy or identify with you because they have this tendency to act in their own self-interest they're driven by this need to prove themselves better than other people so they can't be vulnerable and you will never experience a deep emotional connection with them because they believe that they're bad they believe that they're unlovable as though they're incapable of inspiring love or admiration as though they don't have any attractive or opinion qualities but they overcompensate for that with their ego this high opinion of themselves is so they're better than you but with no justified reason just because they think it in their minds and they expect you to see it the same way if you don't they will cut you off they will drop you like a hot potato because they have to avoid humiliation they have to keep their reputation and avoid other people lose some respect for them because all they care about is their false image they only care about how they appear to other people which is why they're so quick to blame you and starts mere campaigns and tell you that it's all your fault and then they go out and flaunt their new relationship because they have an inability to connect and understand people all they can do is defend their ego but they also struggle with detachment with a state of not maintaining or having control over something anymore because they don't know how to regulate their own emotions so they will deny it they will lie do a projected effect they will gaslight and they may even become delusional but that doesn't mean that energy and those emotions aren't still there it doesn't go away just because they've denied the existence of it and in fact the resistance makes it even stronger acceptance is what makes it go away but in an attempt to push away the pain and the shame they will disconnect from their own thoughts feelings memories and sense of identity to where they become emotionally numb they can't even feel anything positive anymore instead all they will feel is pain and aggression where they may even lash out at you by making false accusations or starting to mere campaigns against you or sometimes you may not see a response because they went and abused someone else and it's all because they didn't want to process their emotions they didn't want to process those feelings of loss which is why it will constantly play on their minds and they will constantly revisit the people that they lost even if it is just in their minds but not with the intention of considering a situation or problem again from a different perspective or with the intention of improving or changing it because if they did that they would be processing the emotions and healing themselves from the trauma instead they will re-idealize you and represent you as better than you are because you've got a way you dodged a bullet you managed to avoid a difficult one welcome situation you got out unscathed and then they will compare every new person they're with to you you will become the measuring stick you will set the bar which means that they haven't healed they haven't processed anything they just moved on without even thinking about it or reflected on it they denied it they lied to themselves that it was bad which means that the shame will continue to grow within them and they will only get worse with time they will become even more bitter and resentful the older that they get to where it's impossible for people to even be around them because there's so much hate and envy brewing beneath the surface and yet many of you still care about their opinions when a person who is filled with so much hate and envy has no valid opinion because it's just coming from their own destructive emotions it's not coming from a logical standpoint people who have so much hate and envy inside of them should not have the power to influence anyone because they're only going to further traumatize you by default that's all that they can do they're not going to uplift you they're not going to make you feel better about yourself because they're not even on the same level as you they're beneath you and they're trying to pull you down which is why you need to recognize that their opinions are not credible and you should not let them determine your value you shouldn't even care if they hover you or not you shouldn't be worried about what they do and who they're with if they're happy with the other person because you should already know that they're just a shell of themselves many of you are empaths some of the most down-to-earth and most understanding people in the world and yet they couldn't even connect to you so what chance have they got with anyone else they're destined to fail they're destined to never move on because they denied what went on between them and you they acted like nothing happened to avoid humiliation and to protect their fragile ego which means that the shame hatred and envy will continue to brew and boil inside of them because what you resist persists what they refuse to let go of will continue to affect them and it will affect every relationship they get into because they didn't process their emotions they pass it off to you and expected you to deal with it for them which is something that only gives them a two second high it doesn't produce long-lasting change because they can't generate it from within they're disconnected from their emotions which is why you will never have a connection or a bond with them and even myself with a lifetime of experience and five years of research I would struggle to have a conversation with them I would struggle to connect to them and understand them because they have so much shame so everything has to be about their negative emotions it's never going to be a mutual exchange of love and positive energy because in their minds it's you or it's someone else someone did something to them someone hurt them and there's nothing they can do about it they can't take it upon themselves to go within and process the trauma to regulate their own emotions because they're very weak and fragile people it's too painful for them to deal with which is why all they can do is try to bring you down with them and make you just like them because that's the only way that they can feel comfortable and this is what they're deeply envious and jealous of it's why they hate you because you're different you're empathic you have so much love and compassion to give and when you give that to yourself it's very powerful it has the power to heal trauma not only yours but other people's traumas as well by practicing acceptance accepting things as they actually are rather than how you think they are or how you want them to be which is something that narcissists can't do and it is why they gas like you it is why they start smear campaigns because they have to create this false reality where that is not the case and it's all because of their ego they just can't accept that maybe they're not as great as they thought they would be or should be and this all stems from their trauma which is why they constantly project it onto you and at the end of the day your life feeling like you're undeserving was though you're not good enough when the reality is that it's them they just don't want to accept it because it's too painful for them and they wouldn't know where to start so instead they live a lie never knowing the truth never experiencing real level connection by shutting it out and even by trying to prevent their sources of supply and sometimes even their own children from experiencing it because it's just too difficult for them to accept that they won't ever get to experience that when the crazy part about it is if they just accept that and they let go of their resistance they would finally be experiencing real love and intimacy for the first time thank you for watching if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up share your thoughts in the comment section hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications if you would like to support the channel you can donate at paypal.me slash not to fiverr you can book a one-on-one with me on my website it's not to fiverr the code UK thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon