 Okay, before we jump into the conversation about men who are ready to open their hearts to love and those who are ready for commitment, I think it's important to look at the ones who are not capable of commitment and those men who are not capable of opening their heart. So, what do we call men who can't open their hearts to love and can't commit? Oftentimes we call these men wishy-washy. And I'm sorry to laugh, but they act wishy-washy. And there's a variety of reasons why this happens. And sadly, women judge men for acting wishy-washy. And I'm here to say, I think it's important to know why men might act that way and what you can do about it when men act this way. And when I talk about wishy-washy, I mean that their actions don't consistently match their words, they say they come on very strong, they disappear, they go, that sort of thing. Or you might already be in a relationship with them, but they're emotionally constipated. They're emotionally withdrawn. They're struggling on the inside to actually lean into a deeper, fully committed relationship. So, I think it's really important to understand this because ladies, you oftentimes blame the man for this problem or sometimes you even blame yourself when you might want to look a little bit deeper as to why this might happening. And the reality is is most human beings, men and women alike, have suffered childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas that makes it very difficult for them to actually open their heart up to love and actually be safe enough to be in a fully committed relationship. Folks, I've shared with you this publicly and I'm gonna repeat myself again, but there's a picture of my mother and father back when they were in their 20s. And when I was raised by a mother who was a loving human being, but at the same time, she would give love and withdraw love and give love and withdraw love and how she withdrew love is she would go absolutely silent. If some, she was upset with my father, she was upset with my brother, she was upset with my sister, she was upset with myself. She would withdraw for three or four days at a time. Now, I want you to imagine a seven-year-old boy, a 10-year-old boy, a 12-year-old boy continually experiencing this. Love, withdrawal, love, withdrawal, love, withdrawal. So what happened to me as an adult is I actually suffer from what's known as an anxious attachment style. Let me repeat that, an anxious attachment style because, and I couldn't trust love. So if you're not familiar with the book attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, I highly recommend reading this so you can understand why someone like myself exhibits patterns of feeling needy. And the reverse can happen and there's exact same scenario. A man could withdraw from love and not trust love, not trust and that causes them to have avoidant attachment styles and sometimes they're actually armored up in their ability to be emotional. And this is why we call them emotionally constipated because they're stuck, they're blocked on the inside. And men aren't doing this intentionally. Men aren't intentionally wanting to hurt your feelings. Men aren't intentionally trying to fuck with your life. It's just they don't oftentimes a significant percentage of men aren't established in their own emotional maturity. And if you're not familiar with my emotional maturity relationship skills chart, I should highly recommend you reading it. And by the way, this is not a fact, this is an opinion. But I roughly believe 20% of the population has clinical issues, real clinical issues. And why I say 20% are relatively emotionally healthy and have good skills. The vast majority of people are dysfunctional. So that means eight out of 10 people are kind of fucked up. It's just a matter of degrees. And what I mean is their relationship skills, their capacity to actually be in a healthy happy relationship is very challenging for them. This is true for men and women alike. Ladies, you're no picnic either. You oftentimes suffer from giving your power away to men and being dependent upon men for your own emotional validation. I hear this from women all the time. If my boyfriend doesn't call me at night, I can't trust him. I'm like, that's on you, that's not on him. And you can make the request, but you've got to heal from the inside out. This is why I continually recommend human beings getting the book, the Hoffman process, the Hoffman process. Do a deep dive into healing childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas. So you're not suffering from the need of needing someone else to love you to feel good about yourself. And it's one of the reasons why after my son passed away, I felt such a divine power to write my book, what the heck is self love anyway, a journey of personal development, self open spiritual work. And at the back, I lay out literally how I help shore my own emotional maturity and relationship skills. So you can read all the reference material I have there so you can actually lean into a healthier, happier relationship. So men genuinely do want love, they do. They just don't know how to go about it. But ultimately it doesn't matter what is going on in his life. What matters most is what's going on in your life. You are in charge of your relationship destiny. So I'm gonna share three things you should consider if you're dating a man who's emotionally constipated, he's wishy-washy, he acts interested but ambivalent at the same time. So these are the three things I want you to adopt in your life with respect to if you're with one of these types of men. First and foremost, I think you have to decide if you're gonna accept him the way he is. Are you gonna accept him the way he is? Because ultimately a lot of the frustration is because you might want to change this person. But guess what? Most folks after, you know, in midlife it becomes very hard to change who they are unless they do heroic personal development, self-help and spiritual work. And I mean heroic by spending a minimum of an hour a day on their personal development. Tony Robbins calls it the hour of power. How many people actually spend an hour a day in their personal development, self-help and spiritual work? More people spend more time brushing their teeth, picking out the clothes they're gonna wear and the shoes that they're gonna buy. And I'm kind of criticizing women when I talk about shoes. Instead of actually healing from the inside out. So I'm here to say is you have a choice. You can accept him for who he is, okay? Number two, you can try to have communication with him. You can, when I say try, you can invite deeper communication by being radically honest, by laying your cards on the table. I was on the phone with a client today and I couldn't believe she was afraid to ask for something that should be like, you know, relationship 101. Folks, if you're unable to speak your truth to someone, then why are you in relationship with someone that you can't feel, so let me reframe that. You may not feel safe with them, but you should feel safe within yourself to be empowered. This is why I continually recommend every woman reading this book, why men love bitches and bitches stands for babe in total control of herself. Yes. Become empowered. Don't leave it up to a man to be in charge of your relationship destiny, because lastly, number three, your choice is you can leave. You can leave. If the relationship doesn't satisfy your soul, it doesn't satisfy to your needs, wants and desires, then why are you waiting for magic fairy dust to come and change things? I'm surprised at how many people hope that magic fairy dust will change a person. It doesn't work, it's a fantasy. Either accept it, take action or move on. That's the three options. If you're with somebody who acts wishy-washy and they're uncertain in their life or they're emotionally constipated. But ultimately, number two is the most important one, because you can be empowered there. Start having deeper conversations with them. Stop being afraid. An empowered woman, a bitch is not afraid the speaker truth. By the way, she doesn't accept mediocrity as well. But that's up to you. These are your choices. I'm just drawing attention to them. So just as a reminder, those three options, accept it, co-create a new future or move on. And that's what you should do with those wishy-washy, emotionally constipated men. Is this sinking and is this resonating? Please let me know. Okay. Let's now talk about the five, what's it called? The five signs. His heart is open to love and he's ready for a committed relationship. Let's talk about those men. By the way, here's my notes. Bum, bum, bum. Let's jump into that. So, you know, it's interesting. Number one is his mind games of uncertainty are behind him and he's ready to open up emotionally. Now, by the way, I want you to know something. Oftentimes I get material off the internet. So I read a lot of content and then I kind of utilize it for myself. And when I read this, I thought, yeah, that's right. You know, the mind games I used to have was the mind game within myself. I used to, I remember after my divorce, I kept saying, I'm ready for a relationship. I'm ready for a relationship. I'm ready for a relationship. And the minute I got close to someone, I'm like, I got scared. I got scared. I got scared. My own mind game going on. And when I began healing myself and actually doing a deeper dive into understanding the mechanics to a healthy, happy relationship, this is why I highly recommend reading this book. Whether you're looking for marriage or not, the seven principles for making marriage work. I love this book by John Gottman because it really does a deeper dive into understanding mechanics of a healthy, happy relationship. And most of you know my rhetoric before the penis goes inside the vagina, you should be reading the first chapter together of the book, Eight Dates by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. Why is this important? Well, I'm sharing with you, a man can't be emotionally ready to open up or open his heart until he's resolved himself in understanding that he wants a fully committed relationship and he wants to open up emotionally. And remember I said earlier, we're dealing with about 80% of the human population that's emotionally constipated if they're anxious or avoidant. Very few people are actually secure, no matter what, listen, the one thing about the book attached, I don't agree with them that 50% of the population is secure. I think of the single population, it's a very small percentage. And even I'm not that emotionally, my love attachment isn't secure because I have a default attachment. Okay, so just to remind you, he's done playing mind games with himself and he's ready to open up emotionally. Number two, he makes you a priority. He makes you a priority in his life. He's actually setting regular time to wanna be with you. This is why ladies, when you engage in relationships where the guy is seeing you at his beck and call, I'm like, why do you accept that behavior? Just because someone's giving you attention. Most of you know I'm in a significant relationship right now. It started off long distance, that is changing very quickly because I'm making this person a priority. Thankfully, my children are grown. I've got established business. I've got good friends, I've got an established life. She's in the same capacity. She has a flexible lifestyle. Her children are grown. We actually can devote our priorities to one another. And so when a man is emotionally constipated, as I said earlier, that wishy washy man, he's kind of traveling back and forth because he's operating from one, there's basically three types of men dating today. By the way, this is not a fact in its opinion. There are the users. These are the love bombers, the short term game, the players, the gold diggers, the entitled selfish people, they only care about their needs. And then there's the growers and the builders. That's probably roughly about 20% of the population if I'm being generous. These are the people that seek long-term commitment. They're emotionally grown up. They're good relationship skills. They have their act together, but the vast majority of people are spenders and spenders are those people that seek companionship connection and coupling in sex without any real direction. They're fearful or uncertain about their love life. And they have a dysfunctional life to begin with. They might have a contentious ex. They might have issues with their children. They might have to deal with a lot of family stuff or maybe they have work issues going on. Their life, their act isn't together and they're gonna spend your time not from a disingenuous place, but from a place of the foundation underneath them doesn't feel solid. So you've got another 80% chance of hitting one of those types of men. And this, by the way, you women are no picnic either. I've got, listen, I've been at this dating game for quite some time. I will tell you, there is just as many dysfunctional women or entitled women out there as there are men. You all throw men under the bus, but let me tell you, there is a whole group out there. Migtow, red pill that is throwing you ladies under the bus. If you really wanna see how men think of women, start following some of those guys because their complaints about women are as long as it is from here to the moon. Kinda makes it scary. This is why when I work with a client, by the way, there's a link to getting a free discovery call with me. I teach women how to vet for emotional maturity, how to vet a guy. So you don't waste your time going out with 20 guys that are gonna go nowhere. I want you to narrow it down to two or three men that you actually have potential with. So I highly recommend checking out that discovery call with me. All right, so let's go and move on to number three. He follows through with his promises, his actions match his words. Let me repeat that. He follows through with his promises and his actions match his words. That's a great sign that he's able to open his heart and he's ready for a fully committed relationship because here's the bottom line. If a person's actions don't match their words, how trustworthy can they be? Now, listen, we can all make mistakes. So let me just say this, they consistently match their words. He lives up to his promises consistently. Is there gonna be times, hey, I want, I'll call you later tonight and something comes up? Absolutely. For gosh sakes, I had a date the night my son, the day my son passed away. Now I did call her, or I texted her I should say, I just said I had a family emergency, but if I didn't, she would have understood. It's not sometimes things happen in life. And so I'm here to say, listen, we can all make a mistake once or twice, but if it's consistently, they don't live up to their promises, their actions don't match their words, then yes, you may want to reconsider investing time in that person. Number four, and this is a huge one. He doesn't judge you or your past, and he's willing to have difficult conversations with you. Let me repeat that. He doesn't judge you for the past, your past relationships, or even you yourself, and he's willing to have difficult conversations with you. You know, I'm only can use myself as an example, but one of the things I did in my new relationship as our third day together was we sat down and laid our cards on the table. We had radical honesty as a way to build deeper trust with one another, and trust isn't just about fidelity. Trust is, can I count on this person to care about my feelings and my interests as much as they care about their own? That's building deeper trust. How do you do that through radical honesty by laying your cards on the table and not judging the other person? Which is hard to do. Oftentimes we point a finger at people, and we forget there's three fingers pointing back at ourselves. So a man who's ready for full commitment and ready to open his heart, he's able to do so because he doesn't judge you. And by the way, this is a two-lane street here, and you don't judge him as well. And number five, I said number four was most important. This is the most important of all. He makes concrete plans for the future, including being exclusive. You know, I can't stand guys who say, I need to take it slow. What is taking, I want my penis inside your vagina, but I want the commitment to go real, real, real, real, real slow. Okay, remember I mentioned the book Eight Dates by Dr. Shana Julie Gottman? I just want to share something with you. And I said before the penis goes inside the vagina reading this book. Look at chapter one, read what it says, lean on me, trust in commitment. Why do you want, why would you, listen, I'm not, listen, you are open to have sex whenever you want. I'm not here to judge first date sex, second date sex, third date sex, but what I'm here to say is if you get attached to a guy pretty easily after sex, then I would highly recommend to find out what does commitment look like for him? What does he want? Ask these deeper questions. You know, it's interesting. You know, my girlfriend and I, it was, we actually met each other a year earlier and we had, we had a two, our first phone call was one hour and our second phone call was four hours. Just try and ask, and I asked my 15 top questions. I wanted to find out what was she really looking for? And I wanted to find out our compatibility. I'm here to say that's the best time to do it on the telephone before you actually meet. So when we did meet and we spoke on the phone a half a dozen plus times or more prior to meeting, we had a good sense of what we thought we wanted. Just a suggestion, this is just an invitation. One size doesn't fit all, but I'm here to say when a guy wants to open his heart to you and he's ready for commitment, he makes concrete plans about the future. That's what I've done. I wanna find a way to take this distance and put us together. So there's a plan and we talk about this plan and there's actual logistics involved with this plan. That is a sign that he's opened his heart to love and he wants a committed relationship with you. Is this sinking in, is this resonating? Please let me know if it is. Hit that like button, share this video. Subscribe to my channel. Post a comment, I'd like to hear your thoughts. By the way, all the things I shared in this video, all the books and everything in the description is how to schedule a discovery call with me, join my private group, get all the books I recommend. You can even follow me on Instagram there. So I invite you to make a big change in your life by not settling as many of you have and be empowered in your life moving forward. So I invite you to do this prayer. And the prayer is simply like this, God, universe, spirit, I invite love into my life. I invite in a partner who's emotionally secure and emotionally healthy to actually dive deep into love. We have the kind of chemistry where we're mutually attracted to one another. We have that communication where we can have conversations going on for hours and hours of time when we're face to face with each other. We are compatible because we can blend our lives together. We share the same values on what's most important to us and we will develop the deep roots of trust through social activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, teamwork, building skills, both in our personal, our professional life and intimacy, which includes emotional intimacy as well as fucking our brains out on a regular basis, God, universe, spirit, I invite that into my life. And I invite you to invite that into your life as well. All right, let's, this is time for our Q and A and I'd like to hear what you have to say. So for those that know my format, it's very simple. You can write the word question and post the question there after or you can purchase the Super Sticker Super Chat. All the monies from the, by the way, there's a little dollar sign there unless you're listening to the audio and there's the super thanks button. All the monies from the Super Sticker Super Chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley. That's a picture of him right there. I love that picture. That was when he was like cutting a deal on the phone. He's my son who passed away four years ago. So all of the funds go to pay for like things like the Hoffman process, insight seminars. I donate the monies to that. And also I help those to defray the cost of personal development. So again, press that little dollar sign and then you can post a question there. It makes it easier for me to find. All right, it's time for Q and A. All right, Coco says, question. Why does my boyfriend not want to tell me where he is going when he stays overnight somewhere when we live together? I've asked him, but he just says, I don't need to know. That's not a very good thing. I'm trying to think if there's ever a situation where I'm gonna be mysterious with someone and I think if I'm living with somebody, at listen, I might say, hey, I'm going out with friends. I'm gonna hook up with family members. I just need time to chill, you know? But I don't think, and if I'm gonna stay overnight somewhere that's a pretty good sign that this person is cheating. I'm not saying it is, but it's a pretty good sign. Why? Because he's probably having sex with someone else. I'm not saying that's what's happening, but boy, that's what it seems like. By the way, anyone else agree with me on that one? For Coco, right? Coco, I agree with Jonathan. That's what I'm guessing on that one. All right, Coco, I wish I had a better answer for you, but that's my gut reaction on that one. That's probably what's happening there. And you said boy for a not roommate, so. Okay, I wanna thank, I don't even know how to pronounce your name, but thank you for the super sticker. I'm assuming that's from a country I don't know, but thank you so much for that super sticker. I really appreciate it. Let's see, hold on a second. It's moving pretty fast. Okay, Luda says, question, why does she call us friends when we're clearly more than friends? I'm assuming this is from a guy now. Why does she call us friends when we're, that's a really good one. Why would someone call them if, you know, because either they're fearful of admitting to themselves what they want in relationship, but it sounds like maybe you're just friends with benefits. So that's why they call you a friend. That would be my guess on that particular case. But thank you for that question. I appreciate it. Why does a man's kids cause problems for you? Well, I can give you a hundred reasons why. So you could have problematic children in one's life. In other words, there's issues going on. Maybe you have a child going through drug rehab. Maybe you have a child that's got, has special needs. And that's a lot for some brand new person to take on in your life. I've also seen situations, this has happens with men and women, where for a man, his daughter rules the roost in the house and she has alienated any woman in his life. That's something that can happen. Or a son could do the same thing to a mother. I see this happen with the opposite gendered parents like the father and daughter and mother and son type of thing. That's how children can create problems in a relationship. By the way, if your partner, if your child doesn't like your partner, they can cause a ton of havoc in a relationship. And don't be naive to that. That is, by the way, children can, look at the Brady bunch was a fantasy because today children could be just as problematic in the building of a relationship, just like in-laws can be and friends can be in a relationship. So don't be naive to that. All right, thank you for that question. All right, I'm questioned by Melanie. I may be wishy-washy and I'm told he'll never leave me. What do I do if he throws fits? He says it feels one-sided. I don't wanna be considered a user. He has no kids. I may be wishy-washy and he told me he'll never leave. What do I do if he throws fits? Well, usually, okay, so most likely the inner child in him is feeling a sense of fear or anxiety. That's why someone with road fits. Their inner child is experiencing some level of anxiety. What's most likely missing in your relationship is healthy communication skills and a healthy sense of emotional maturity. And you're probably lacking true radical honesty with one another, but that's mostly why that's happening. So how do you improve that? I highly recommend reading a couple books. You should read the book, I Hear You, The Surprisingly Simple Skills Behind Extraordinary Relationship. This is a great book to learn communication skills. I also recommend reading the book, Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. This is a great book to learn how to communicate from feeling statements and not combative statements, because in most relationships, John Gottman talks about the four horsemen of the apocalypse. That's criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. I'm gonna repeat that. Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. So I highly recommend reading those books as well as you might wanna read two additional books. These are all listed in my Jonathan description below. Couples Communication Guide. This is a really thin book and how to build trust in a relationship. Folks, oh, here's another amazing book you may wanna read, How to Make Love All the Time by Barbara DeAngeles. I would Google her, I would start following on YouTube. I would really start immersing yourself in her work because she teaches couples or women how to really connect with their part. I mean, she works with men and women alike, but really how to connect at a deeper soul level with your partner. Folks, listen, most of you are winging it. You're winging it, you're winging it. You have no fucking clue how to be in a relationship because nobody taught us this shit. Our parents didn't teach it to us and we have bad role models when it comes to our parents. By the way, hold on one second. I had a client tell me about a book to check out. Let me read this to you. Adult children of emotionally immature parents. This is a book I was told to get just today. Adult children of emotionally immature parents. I want you to think about that title. Most human beings are actual emotional children. And where does this stem from? Because they had immature parents. The author is someone by the name of Lindsay. I don't know if that's the first or last name, but I'm gonna tell you something. We're a dysfunctional society. I think it's, okay, I'm the one beating the drum, beating the drum, beating the drum, beating the drum, beating the drum, to say, look, emotional mental health is a crisis here. In fact, the number one emotional health issue for those most human beings in dating triggers this like in relationships triggers this like nobody's business is, I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable and I'm not likable. That's why someone would throw fits. This is why I recommend my book. Well, at the heck of self love anyway, it's at least the beginning journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work. I wanna share with you towards the back of the book that this is critically important. I share my recommended teachings and there's two pages of it in workshops. You can heal your life by Louise Hay. Creative visualization by Shakti Gawani. The movie, The Secret. The movie, What the Bleep? I love that one. Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. Definitely check out this book. This is the CD version. Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. What else do we have here? The Four Agreements. Unleash the Power by Tony Robbins. Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. Wain, Anything by Wayne Dyer. Anything by Abraham Hicks. Does anyone know who Abraham Hicks is? The Mankind Project. That's for us men. Oh, there's a women's version of this as well. Reverend Michael Beckwith, Agape. The Hoffman Process Insights Seminars and A Course in Miracles. These are just some of the recommended readings. Look at, you might require investing a fair amount of time in your life to heal. But the benefit is by doing this work, you can actually attract in a partner that actually can stand with you and is not having hissy fits all the time. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know. Give me an amen. All right, thank you so much. Great question, by the way. I appreciate that. All right. Oh, and Kathy says, Coco, Jonathan is spot on. That's the one that was probably with the cheater or was cheating. All right, let's keep swimming. Liz says, question. My partner of almost three years doesn't speak of the future. When I ask, he says, I want to be with you, travel, et cetera. He is a pleaser and simply along for the ride. Is he a pleaser? You know, listen, there are a variety of different types of relationships out there. There are situationships. There are friends with benefits. There are casual relationships and there are those like myself that are growers and builders and they actually want a partner in their life. Now, I didn't feel this way after my divorce. In fact, right after my divorce, the last thing I wanted to do was get remarried. I wanted companionship connection and I wanted some of this. But I didn't want to get committed to anyone. I didn't want to be married because I was a fucking train wreck after my divorce. Not only did I have a contentious divorce, I also lost my quarter million dollar a year in the insurance business. Actually, I'm thankful for that because I wouldn't have been able to find my passion now doing this. But I was a train wreck. I was a mess. And you know what? You women are such beautiful creatures because I could literally vomit my dysfunctionality and you guys are beautiful nurturers and caretakers. I'll never forget. Oh, we were still friends today. Nine months after my divorce, I met a woman. Great woman, fantastic woman. The senior vice president of a pharmaceutical company, she now runs a pharmaceutical company. I mean, she's a big shot. And I think it was on our third date together, she looked at me and said, Jonathan, I have to date you with rose color glasses. I go, why do you say that? She goes, you're a train wreck, but I like you. And it was interesting because we were dating, we met prior to Thanksgiving. We ended up being together for Christmas and for a Christmas present, guess what she gave me? I want everyone to see this. I have to walk away from the computer for a second, the video for a second, but I want you to all see this because this was the gift she gave me for Christmas. And it illustrates a point that I'm trying to make here. She gave me this box picture frame of rose color glasses because she knew our relationship with short live. She knew I was a train wreck. And because she went in not with trying to change me, you know what she said to me, she goes, Jonathan, I knew you would amount to something. And sure enough, we remained friends. When I say friends, we're social friends. She went on to meet someone about a year after we ended our relationship, which was only about three or four months long. And she subsequently got married. But she knew going in, I was a mess. You know, she could have said no. And thankfully I was at least enough of a gentleman to be relatively transparent with her, but she knew it going in. And it was short-lived. Could you imagine spending years with someone who's a train wreck? Folks, if the ground underneath them doesn't feel solid, don't invest in someone. It doesn't behoove you. Invest in those men that can build the deeper roots of trust in a relationship. I wasn't capable of it then. It took me another, God, probably close to a decade before I was really more than a decade. By the way, Alison Armstrong, if you're not familiar with her work, Alison Armstrong, the PAX group talks about the tunnel men go through, the tunnel men go through. This is when roughly about at midlife, we have what's known as a midlife crisis. I call it when the blueprint where we thought our reality was gonna be, excuse me, where we thought our life was gonna be collides with our reality. And Alison Armstrong says the tunnel for a man could last anywhere from two to 15 years. For me, my tunnel was probably, it was a seven year journey down and a seven year journey up. It probably took me close to 14, 15 years before. I'm now in a position where I fully wanna, well, part of it is I found a partner who I really wanna fully commit to. I am just giddy about this person. But more importantly, I am ready. I'm able to open up my heart to love because I don't play the games anymore. I'm very intentional about the process and if a person isn't intentional, then you gotta ask yourself, are we on the same page? By the way, ladies, you can always give a man a ring and ask him to marry you and see what happens. Why don't women do that? I know it's the traditional, but call men out on their bullshit because if they don't wanna fully commit because there's, listen, I'm a believer that one of the reasons why it's so fucked up today is because the real institution of marriage for a lot of people not only holds no weight, but they lack a real conviction in the benefit of being married with someone to be with a partner that can actually emotionally support you as well as physically support you. And I don't mean being a nurse or a purse bullshit or being with a man to take care of you. I'm talking about that emotional nurturing. Folks, the real value of being in a relationship is emotional intimacy. And if you haven't read this book by Robert Masters, I highly recommend reading this book. Folks, what most couples lack is a real level of emotional depth with one another. And folks, if you're hoping for magic, fairy dust to change men, it ain't gonna happen. One person has to take the lead. And since most men don't study this shit, I mean, suggesting you take the lead. All right, so coming back to your question, is he a pleaser or simply a long for the ride? What do you think? You know this person better than anyone. What do you think, Liz? Please let us know. Thank you so much for your question. I appreciate it. Stephanie, when should you begin reading the book eight dates without scaring someone away? Should you go on a few dates before getting into the book? Here's what I say. You can tell someone on a first date, sex is a really important part of my life. I love to fuck. But before I have sex with a man, I want us both read chapter one of this book called eight dates just to see if we're on the same page. What kind of guy are you? Are you the guy type to be impetuous and you just are out for sex? Are you looking for a fully committed relationship? Folks, I'm spitballing here. This is the world according to Jonathan. I'm throwing out something for fun, but at the same time, think of what I just said. I love sex. Well, that's gonna tantalize them, but I'm not gonna have sex with you until I know you're legit. So prove it to me. Folks, men need to jump through hoops. If you're not familiar with my dating vow, let me pull it up right now because this is when you should have sex. Folks, used to be marriage vows. It's called the dating vow. Women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of commitment. So I invite you all to do the dating vow. I made this up. You mutually say this to one another before the penis goes inside the vagina on a regular basis. You say, I agree to explore the process of getting to know you with the intent to declare something serious in the next three to six months. I agree to be monogamous sexually while we have regular sex together. I agree to not actively date or meet others while we're in the dating process, including taking down my dating profile. I agree to speak up if this isn't working for me versus pulling back, ghosting or disappearing. I agree to invest regular time in the process of getting to know you, which looks like this. Social activities, hobbies, mutual interest, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, teamwork, building skills, both in our personal and our professional life, intimacy, both physical and emotional, intimacy, leading to either moving in together or getting married in a short period of time. 90% of men will bail on this. They'll bail. Why would they bail? Because they're not serious. Or maybe that might seem like too much to them. But you know what? A genuinely serious guy, he's not gonna have, if he likes you, he has no problem saying it. Now some people might say it just to get laid. Okay, that's gonna happen. But I guarantee you're gonna weed out the wishy washy looky loose fairly quickly. So again, my dating vows is what I recommend in that case. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know. Hit that thumbs up button. All right, any more super stickers? Teresa says, I love Barbara DeAngelis, me too. Grace says, you're so honest and we need to hear everything. You truly care. Thank you, Jonathan. I appreciate that. I really do care. I'm a junkie for this shit. Miss Cole says, emotional health, we need to learn this exactly. All right, let's go swimming. Let's go swimming. Let me see this. Let me read that. This is exactly how we see the best in life and some very great people at some or worse times, faith, reality, respect in the process of becoming who we are. Thank you for all you share. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. All right, let's find another question. Helen says, Jonathan is way beyond most men and I feel coaches, the circle of going around and around, I can't see or hear him. Perhaps Google doesn't want me to write any comments of his great work. Thank you. I'm not sure what that meant, but thank you. All right. I get a few amen. So let's keep scrolling here. We got some questions. Let's just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. That's okay, here you go. Paul says, why do you think marriage has become so undervalued in our society? Birth control. I'd used, that's just one thought that popped in my head, but birth control basically used to be, there was a consequence for having sex together. Could be a delivery nine months later. I think that could be one reason. I think also, it's funny. I'm gonna tell you a quick story. This is some years ago. I was at the steam room in Orange County and Newport Beach at a gym. This is a lot of wealthy people, right? I'm talking to a friend of mine. I said, what's the, what in the 20th century, what is the most important invention of the 21st century? I said, or chains that happened the 21st century. And he first said the telephone. I go, not the telephone. He said, being man on the moon, man on the moon. I said, no, that's not it. He said, what about computers? Computers, I go, that's not it. And then I hear this guy on the corner of the steam room. I couldn't see him. And he said, the proliferation of divorce attorneys in the 1960s. And I thought, that's it. Think about what happened when divorce began being the mainstream instead of the scarlet letter, okay? You had the breakup of the home. You had the division of assets. This had the greatest change to our environment because we no longer were becoming dysfunctional in our family units, which was the strength of a person's life was their family. And now it's the unraveling of the tapestry and the contentiousness and the financial burden that happens. A lot of women and men have been devastated by divorce. That probably the proliferation of divorce attorneys coming out and they say now there are more attorneys in law school than their actual attorneys practicing law. It's kind of scary to think that that could have so much power. So anyway, I think that could be some of the reasons why. Paul, thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it. Kelly says, I like the vows. Thank you so much. Question, the dysfunction in our culture, do you have any suggestions to meet needs of physical and emotional intimacy? There's such a disconnect and we have basic needs of connection with another. Folks, it starts with the connection you have with yourself. When you become connected with your true divinity, you actually begin to attract people in your life, really good, I mean, really good human beings. I am so blessed to be part of a community of amazing human beings in my life. Truly heart centered human beings. This didn't happen because I wished for it. It happened because I did the work myself. And then God universe spirit said, I'm gonna surround you with people to help shore that up. So I invite you God universe spirit. I invite genuine true love in my life and I'm willing to do the deeper work to track that in. I'm willing to go to the Hoffman process. I'm willing to do insight seminars. I'm willing to go to workshops and trainings and read books and watch videos. I'm willing to do, I am ready to do that. Then sitting and watching Netflix all day long and finding out what the Kardashians are doing or spending all day on my phone playing games. I want to grow from the inside out and God universe spirit. I invite that in. That's my invitation anyway. Thank you so much. Hey, I wanna thank Lisa Gaylor for the 1999 super sticker. Way to go. Thank you so much. I really appreciate. Connor, I was a scholarship fund. Appreciate you, appreciate you. Ms. Cole says, do you hold conferences for men? Don't be afraid to let her crack your shell. You know, I would love to, but I don't, you know, I'd love to just, I just like working with women better. Hey, Grace, I wanna thank you for the $5 super sticker. I really appreciate that. You know, I'm gonna spend the last few minutes talking about my new relationship, folks. You know, I recognize that this relationship is moving incredibly quickly and I'm not naive to the dangers of something moving quickly. But what I appreciate most is we have real, radically honest conversations. We've done a deep dive into really exploring who we are and what we really want in life. So I feel as though that, and part of the challenge has been the distance. I don't like, actually, when we're apart, I don't like talking on the phone. I want her here in my presence. I want her in my vortex. I want her in my orbit. And even doing FaceTime is actually causing me more pain than pleasure. Yeah, I mean, I say pleasure. It's like when Harry said to Sally, when you realize you wanna spend the rest of your life with someone, you want your rest of your life to start now, I'm not saying, I'm saying that I feel that strong about that person, not from a limerence perspective, not from a lust perspective, but from a real sense of, I feel like I know. Could I be absolutely wrong? Yes. Could this blow up in my face? Yes, that could happen. But I'm at a point in my life and maybe you're at the same point as well. I love the line from Shawshank Redemption, get busy living or get busy dying. So the worst thing that's gonna happen, it doesn't work out. Well, I've got a laundry list of things that haven't worked out. How about diving in and seeing if it does work out? Now I'm not suggesting that everyone is capable of doing this. She and I have individually done a shitload of work and I come to the table very crystal clear because I showed up with these five signs ready for commitment. I'm done playing mind games with myself and I'm ready to open up emotionally. I'm making this person a priority in my life. I follow through on my promises because my actions match my words. I don't judge this person for her past and we have the difficult conversations. More importantly, I am making plans for the future. Do I know this is gonna work out? I don't know. All I know is this person really has hit, she touches my soul. She touches my soul. And that feels like such a rarity in the world of like always the bigger, better deal, the paradox of choice. I'm like, when you've got someone great, make it work. That's how I'm operating. And I feel like she's operating the same. Time will tell, we'll see. But I pray to God that it works out and I'm appreciative of all of you that root for me. I can't begin to thank you from the bottom of my heart. All the love kindness you share with me about supporting my relationship. So thank you so much. All right, I think this will be a great place to wrap up our video today. Let me say that one more time. I think this will be a great place to wrap up the video today. And the way I always do, I'm gonna do it this way. First off, I'm gonna give myself a big, gigantic Johnson Barrow of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. I wanna thank Brenda and you can do this and Grace and Catherine and Gloria and Luda and Kelly and Varro and Kathy and Melanie and J. Cole and Stephanie and Helen. Let's see who else we have. Shelly, everyone, Kelly, Judy, everyone. When that, Valerie, Patricia, thank you all so much. Wishing you a super duper wonderful, fantastic evening. Bye-bye now. And I hope this resonated with you.