 All right. Hey, I just want to read from Psalm 127 and then we'll pray and start Psalm 127 Just has five verses But this is what it says unless the Lord builds the house they labor in vain who build it Unless the Lord guards the city the watchman Stays awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early to sit up late to eat the bread of sorrows For so he gives His beloved sleep behold children are an in her or a heritage from the Lord The fruit of the womb is a reward like arrows in the hand of a warrior So are the children of one's youth happy is a man who has his quiver full of them. They shall not be ashamed but shall speak with their enemies at the gate and talks about Talks about family talks about marriage talks about You know children and being parents and so on about but this is how it starts, right? Unless the Lord builds the house the labor they labor in vain who build it and unless the Lord guards the city so the fact that like this aspect of our lives When it comes to excuse me when it comes to marriage when it comes to, you know family So like all other areas of our lives, you know, we give the Lord the full access Right. We we turn around and we say, okay God, you know, this this is Is something that you have a right to speak into that you have a right to guide God etc. So He has the right of way in this area also, right? So many times We might say okay everything else, but this you know, this is This is my specialty or this I have a say in this of course. We all have a say and the Lord, you know wants to You know fulfill the desires of our heart, right? He's given us free will and all that but the thing is scripture is very clear that the Lord will build and When he builds he builds it in such a way that it lasts Right, so so we we see that Okay, so let's pray. Let's pray and invite the Lord, you know for those of us who are married can say Lord I just invite you in this Into my marriage into my role as as a parent as a spouse I just invite you and Those of us was single we can say Lord, you know I I commit this aspect of my life into your mighty hands, right? So we can pray that okay, let's let's pray father. We we thank you Lord We thank you that your word is very clear that unless you build oh God we build in vain unless you guard We guard in vain and so Lord we come and since you are the designer of marriage and family and The parenting and everything that this their Lord which comes as part of marriage father God We we thank you that you're the master builder You're the architect and so Lord Since you are the designer Lord we come and we lean on you for understanding master. We draw from you Lord Lord what we require Father God wisdom and understanding and empowerment God Lord to live and and to build our lives the God the way you would want it to be built a lot built father God we we thank you we come at this time into your mighty hands and I just pray it'll be us It'll be a time of building it'll be a time of renewing that it'll be a time of renovating It'll be a time of preparing as well father God for what you're doing in our lives We thank you. We give you all the praise and all the glory in Jesus matchless name. We pray amen Okay, so so we've been looking at The whole aspect of preparing for marriage right preparing for marriage and then Specifically last class. We looked at making the choice Right. What are some things that we need to look at? What are some areas that we need to we should not overlook really? When we make a choice so the choice cannot be based on you know certain or one aspect only But we need to look at certain other aspects And consider other aspects in the person or the prospective person the proposal You know that we are considering the person whom we are considering, right? So we need to we looked at Compatibility. Okay, so does anyone recall? What are those four areas of compatibility? Anyone you can just put it on the chat. What are those four areas of compatibility? anyone compatibility, right we are Yeah, so so it basically means that someone the suitability of that person and It's in several areas. It's it's it's it's not just the looks. It's not just Okay, spiritual emotional Physical life-scaling. Okay. Yeah, that's good. So so when we say spiritual we're saying, okay, is the person born again first and foremost Considering that you are born again. Okay, there is a person born again And also does the person believe the same way you do, right in the sense? Is he is he or she passionate about the Lord Jesus, right? Is that person really desiring to live a Holy life and desiring to live a life that pleases God Wanting to know more about God, you know, all those desires are they there second one said emotional Emotional we looked at is the person in emotionally intellectual also like we said We looked at is that person ready first of all is the person mature is the person Does the person? Relate to you, right? Are you able to communicate? Are you able to share things? Does the person understand you, you know, do you? You know understand the person Is the person mature is there a sense of companionship all those things, right? So emotional and then we looked at physical also. So physically, you know, do you find that person attractive desirable? That's also something that that need not be just pushed aside, but it's it's an important factor as well And and the fourth thing we looked at compatibility when it comes to life's calling. Okay, so So what do we mean by that said if you know, what is God calling you? While we may not know all the details all the specifics Or you could know also But the general picture that you have, okay This is what God has called me to do or called me to be right and this is where he has called me to serve And this is the general idea. So I'm gonna be living or working towards that So does the person also whom you're considering for marriage does he or she also have a similar idea? Or is it totally opposite of what you are even considering, right? So that it cannot actually, you know, you cannot actually go together travel together, right? We looked at that scripture Amos 3 University. It says, you know, can to walk together unless they're in agreement, right? So it's very important So these are, you know, some of the signs or some of the Areas of compatibility that we so we also looked at, you know, is there an appointed one one and only or You know, we looked at Isaac and Rebecca's example. We looked at that and we we came to the conclusion. Yes, you know God will God will lead God will You know lead us and we also need to be seeking we also need to look at we use our wisdom we can lean on the wisdom and experience of others elders spiritual leaders and But the thing is this that When we make the choice God honors that Okay, so when we make the choice when we make the covenant God honors that covenant and so The important thing is this that we live out Hey, that we work out those valves that we live out those walls That we have made with one another. Okay, so that's that's the important thing So well the choice we need to make and we need to live out that that cover it. Okay So today just a few more thoughts on You know, how do I arrive? You know, how do I make that choice? Right and even before that? Am I really seeking? Okay, so that's the thing. No when we sometimes We have this understanding that it will happen Until then I'm not going to do anything Hey, that could be that could be a certain mindset saying that I'm not going to do anything at all Okay, if it happens, I know it's God's will now is that correct or is that? Incorrect, what do you think? I'll ask Jeffy now only Okay, Jeffy says incorrect. Okay, so why Jeffy now? Why would you say it's incorrect? Oh, it's partially correct? I Think we need to prepare Yeah And But to say okay, I'm I'm preparing I'm waiting and I hope something happens, you know, is that a good You know place to be in what do you think? Yeah, I think it's a good place. Okay Okay, Jeffy, I feel that it's that's a good place. You're preparing your and you just wait. Okay Anyone else? Okay. We'll ask someone who's married already. We'll ask John Paul John, what are your thoughts? Yeah, that's what to seek To seek which means to In plain words, which means to to look around right in the sense you're praying and The posture of your heart is Lord Who is it that you're showing? You know The Lord Jesus makes this very important statement, right? Of course not only with regard to marriage, but it applies in a whole lot of areas Matthew 7 and verse 7 ask and you will receive see can you will find? Knock and the door will be open to you Let me just put those verses up for us to see this to me I hope you can see that. Okay, so So the Lord You know very clearly says ask and you will receive so so there is The Lord wants to give The Lord has planned the Lord prepares But the Lord's desire is that we Take responsibility also when it comes to asking seeking knocking There's something that we need to do on our part. Okay one more verse is Proverbs chapter 18 and verse 22 His it says the message version find a good spouse and you will you find a good life and even more the favor of God okay In the new king James it says he who finds wife Finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord Okay, so so so, you know, it works both ways, right? If he finds a wife or finds a husband, so the message version says Uses the word spouse Can find a good spouse and you find a good life and even more the favor of God? Okay, so so you see in in both these verses we see that There is this whole aspect of how the responsibility of seeking responsibility of maybe, you know with all this divine wisdom and you know Wisdom of God and the leader seeking relying on the Guidance of the Holy Spirit or the leading of the Holy Spirit To obey right which means that there is a seeking that's happening. Okay, you're You're not, you know in a bubble in isolation, but you're actually Interacting and in a healthy manner, you know, it's not like okay. Oh, I'm I'm will I find the one? I'm you know, I'm I'm scared I'm nervous and Every day it's like oh is it going to be today? You know, it's it's not like that You know in a healthy manner you're you're going through life Whatever it is, you know, whether it's work or you know, whatever season of life You are and whether you're studying working or in ministry, whatever you going through the normal things of life And at the same time, you know, you're preparing yourself to be the best you who can be for your spouse for your future spouse and To be in a place of saying God if you're leading if you're guiding, you know, I'm going to be I'm going to be open Right, and I'm I'm seeking right to be in that place Now all the while, you know knowing fully well that it's the Lord who actually brings that to pass, right? Like the next chapter Proverbs 19 and was was 14 says houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers But a prudent wife is from the Lord. Okay, so so we see that Okay So the thing is that whole aspect of okay, that's the worst Your Lord can give him a sensible wife. Okay, so So what we need to understand is that? culturally in some settings Now we might say, okay In some tradition in some cultures Maybe it's not okay to seek. I know that it's it's changing right in some cultures It's it's the elders. It's the it's the parents who who do the seeking, right? It's it's entirely their responsibility. They say, okay, we'll choose but that is that is changing Because you know, they the parents are also realizing. Hey, it's it's not we who are getting married, but it's it's It's a son or daughter. So, you know, they we need to and you know for they need to see if it's they need to interact They need to decide it's their decision, right? So they also understand that so So the thing is that there is this aspect of seeking finding so In in in what way, you know, well, maybe it's a church community. Maybe it's a network of friends. Maybe it's Even, you know, a good believing matrimonial sides So all these avenues and all these avenues are there Okay Okay, John Paul says in our culture seeking mostly happens through matrimonial website. So that's that's fine Yeah, so even if it's you know matrimonial website We we consider all these things like all these aspects of compatibility and you know all these All these various questions that you're we've been looking at, you know, when it comes to compatibility We we we are going to be wise, right? We're going to be looking at all that before you make that choice, right? So so that's the thing. So so that's one avenue matrimonial website Well in in some traditions, it's like when the person needs the talk and then, you know, they take their initiative to find out and Etc. So so all that, you know, it's fine. Okay, so so we see that making the decision Okay, it's a leading of God's spirit It's following the instruction in God's word using sound wisdom Judgment and Godly counsel Godly counsel would come from People of God community of God's people etc. So we're not going to, you know, neglect that also, right? So so we see this, okay um visions five and I was 17 Therefore do not be unwise but understand what the will of the Lord is Okay, a couple of other scriptures do not be conformed to this world But be renewed by the trans be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove or You know come to an Come to the conclusion What is the or even test and see what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God? Okay? So so we see that there is God's God's word enables us a God's word leads us to To really know and understand as well Okay, so How do we how do we become renewed in our mind? By God's word obviously, right with the truth of God's word so that renews our thinking it makes new our thinking makes new our Imaginations our thoughts and abilities and and and the thing is this the beautiful thing about God's word is that as our mind is being Renewed to the truth as our mind is becoming Aligned to the truth of God So also our desires and our choices our decisions and everything else Everything else changes. So that's a good thing, you know in the place of fear. There is Dependence on God and God, you know Christ confidence, right? It's not assumption. It's not a presumption, but really confidence in God faith in God in the place of fear in the place of Wrong ideas or wrong expectations Especially when it comes to marriage, right when it comes to there could be, you know Really, you know some kind of very ideal Expectation unreal expectation That person has to be perfect This person has to be like this and that and the other and all that so all those expectations are Actually aligned come aligned to the Gods to God's word to God's God's I would say design So all that happens when our mind is renewed to God's word so So discern what is God? What is the Lord guiding me into? What is he saying? What is he leading me? So that so I just wanted to say that as much as you know God leads us to the suitable right person right But that person the right and suitable person will not be the perfect person Yeah, so there's a difference, right? They might be suitable. You might be right But they may not be perfect Okay Which means they have they have some Areas in their lives which they are still working on building. Okay. Now. Here's the question. I wanted to ask Okay Now we know that we cannot find the perfect person, okay, and On the other hand, we are also considering these areas of Compatibility, okay So, how do you put these two together? Okay We're not going to compromise on the areas of compatibility Right, spiritually are they compatible emotionally are they compatible physically life-scaling etc? at the same time when it comes to, you know The right person or the suitable person They're not going to be the perfect No, 10 on 10 on everything Right, so how do we reconcile both? So Anyone how do we let's say You know, you're you're considering someone from for marriage and then you know that okay, Lubega has His arm hand up Yeah, go ahead Okay, good morning first There are some things that are Compromisable and things that are more compromisable when you're looking for a partner Okay For instance as far as I'm concerned and my region is concerned we look at Religion is very important because even when we see in the Bible They never tell us to convince certain in any way. We are told to run when we see him So Religion is very important. I think that should not go away, but there are other things Some for instance for us. We fear ladies who whose mothers we usually in our culture We do not fall in love first with the girl we usually first fall in love with the mother Of the girl because literally in 20 30 years from now your wife will just look like the mother So once you and you look at the father in the case like if the proposed the father-in-law is not happy is Leaving a life of misery. That means that one is you but in the futuristic studies So you should read I run away when you see that the dad is also not happy. So There are some things that I think in a nutshell that there are some compromisable things and other things that are not Compromisable. Thank you pass. Thank you the big I think there's a lot of wisdom in what you said, you know, there are Certain things are, you know, non negotiables Whereas certain other things are But the but the wisdom is in knowing what right what are non negotiables especially when we looked at those four areas of Compatibility certain, you know, when you look at spiritual compatibility and emotional intellectual compatibility and so on, you know There could be certain things that are non negotiables. You know when it comes to scripture, okay, this is what it is It's it should not I mean the person's choice or the person's character Cannot be contradicting God's word Let's say for example in the sense the person is saying I'm a believer And having certain, you know, very drastic Character dysfunctions, right? Like maybe certain certain addictions and not willing to do anything about it Okay So then that's that's a red flag. Now. That's a non negotiable thing. You cannot say, okay I will After marriage Hopefully he will change or she will change like let's say the person is Like a chronic liar Right for each and everything person is like for whatever reason like insecurity fear You know, so you know, that's a very I mean very jarring very apparent character flaw now In our You know, you know saying in our conclusion that okay now the person cannot be perfect. I Know that this person is not perfect, but I'll I'll just go with this Right Anyway, the person is a believer Anyway, the person will change but I'll go with this now That's a very serious character flaw because person is unable to you know Walk in truth and be truthful And be a person of integrity even in the small matter. So, you know, I'm just giving an extreme example Okay, then or it could be other things like when it comes to compatibility, you know, we are We're looking at okay emotional Intellectual compatibility and and we see that we're not able to relate at all, you know in the sense In terms of communication in terms of companionship. Well, the person is is a nice person but maybe the person is very moody, maybe the person is very quiet and and And you're you know in your attempt to be Wanting to know and the person is like so close right and And he's saying okay, maybe it will change over time. Maybe it will it may not also, right? So those are things that we cannot compromise on and these are Some red flags for us, right? So you need to you need to understand that and Okay, let's look at some some of these questions when we are I hope that you know that kind of brings some kind of understanding To that this whole area of tension of you know Knowing that the person is not perfect Just as we are not perfect like we have certain certain things that are still In the progress of being perfected by our God, right? Even as we yield And the posture of our heart is very important in all this right well Maybe the person is just very frank very open and saying yeah, I have this issue But I'm I'm I'm dealing with it I'm I'm getting help Or I'm continuing to you know Or walk out of that then that's a good sign, okay Also, you know, that's a good sign, but also Is it with something you know some of these core things is a person struggling like truthfulness integrity? You know purity right Maybe it when it comes to substance abuse, right all these things these are these are core things Which are going to off finances handling finances and all that so it's going to really Rock the boat, right? It's going to De-stabilize the relationship. So one needs to be careful right and say, okay This is you know, this is this is something that I want right now. Is this something that we can compromise on? Right you need to answer that Let's look at some of these questions That we need to ask ourselves even as we consider You know, even as we discern God's guidance, right? Okay. Let's look at these questions Does this person have the traits and qualities that are important to me? Okay, is there alignment and compatibility in all four realms? Is the person ready prepared or Can this be addressed properly? So what do we mean by that? Which means that okay? There are in some areas I we don't see that Preparedness, but is the person willing is the person, you know ready is a or if it's a problem Can it be addressed and and dealt with then and there, right? Are there any warning signs and have these been adequately addressed? Is there a witness? In your spirit given by the Holy Spirit Do you have God's peace about this? Are there any other see now that's a again that question, you know, do you have God's peace about this? we need to be really careful because You know because if we are emotionally involved in that person can only what happens is You know meet the person and then they are Of course, I was just talking about singles here meeting meeting the person and you you know interacting and they are you know exchanging texts and the phone calls and all that and One gets emotionally attached With all that, you know with all these interactions With all these texts and calls and all that, you know, you get emotionally attached. Okay, then the leading of the spirit And also, you know God's peace about certain things becomes a very subjective thing, right? because your emotional attachment seems to override or or you know Create some kind of lack of clarity When it comes to the leading of the Holy Spirit Because emotionally involved your emotions are stirred up and Therefore there is we lack objectivity We lack clarity that sharpness When it comes to making a decision and we kind of let it slide and it could be some very serious things issues, you know, which is why it's important to even rely on the wisdom of Elders or those who are around spiritual leaders, you know, because we might it might be a complete Smoke screen in the sense it might be complete. We might be completely blocked out of it because of our emotional attachment So those are some things to look at. Okay, so What are the other questions? Are there any other external indicators we have seen God's work at in leading you to this, right? maybe God Works in different ways like maybe he's given a dream is maybe come You know confirmed it to the word and confirmed it with, you know, another person who's been praying for you, etc Okay, another question very important question is is it mutual? Okay, is it mutual in the sense are both Persons that is yourself And whomever you are considering. Are you both ready to say yes to each other? okay or Is it some kind of compulsion or maybe it's parently pressure pressure from, you know, whoever whatever which is causing that yourself to say yes Is it because you don't want to displease parents? relatives And oh, it's like, oh, you know, we've come and met this family and you know, what will happen if I say no we've spent all this time talking and Now, you know, I find this these things and how can I say no after all this? right, so now that's a Now that's a that's a wrong decision, right So you come you're saying, you know, you're hesitating. There's a lot of hesitation. You see all these red flags, but Because of what has happened because you don't want to you know, maybe you waited for many years and and Maybe, you know, parents are You know saying, okay, we've seen so many and maybe this is the best of the lot You know, are you under pressure to say yes? Right, or maybe the other person is hesitating for whatever reason and you're kind of saying, okay Just brushing it aside and saying, you know in in your wanting to seek in your wanting to pursue You know, you're just overriding that person's You know will right So that's the thing, you know, so is the yes mutual is a yes wholehearted or is something else Maybe it's fear maybe it's some other influence Which is holding back? Which is causing that hesitation. Okay. Okay. Another thing is there support and approval from parents? Well, some in some cases We know that it's it could be difficult like maybe the parents are maybe they're not believe us, okay, and You both are believers parents are not believers So then there could be some tension over there some conflict there and the parents do not want to Give their approval. Okay but if The parents are also believers parents are also, you know wanting the the good of their children They're wanting the best for their their child son the children And if they are not giving their approval Then it's it's good to ask why we need to ask why why is it and Well, we know that in some in some cultures parents might say, okay, I'm not going to give you all the reasons This is it. I've made my you know, I'm saying no and that's it Right You know that that could that could happen But the fact is that we need to give time you need to give them time and ask and say, you know ask What is it? What is the reason why? It's good to it's good to find out. Why is it? They might say I'm just, you know giving these possibilities. I don't feel right about it on the inside I don't know but I feel uncomfortable. I feel some discomfort Sometimes these things are because the other person is from a completely different background, right, you know, the in the sense Maybe the families are all not believers. Maybe the family is from a different, you know, with a different culture Different language, you know, they speak a different language different culture. So they're not comfortable So they're saying no If that if it is so that can be worked on Right, so that needs time Right, that needs time. They need to feel comfortable. They need to be, you know, feel confident They need to be able to overcome those Whatever those internal fears are whatever You know, what will the other person say what will the fact that relative say, you know all those fears These are superficial things That can be worked on But if there's something deeper, you know, they are this is they've seen something. They've observed something and They're finding it difficult to share with you then it's good to ask and find out why okay, so is that approval from? parents is that support and approval from spiritual Elders who oversee your life. So these are some questions even as we are considering You know making that decision. Okay any questions here anything that you'd like to share I know it's very different in different cultures, right? So Feel free to share anything that you want to share Anything that you want to ask maybe you've gone through certain things and You know, maybe you want to share that That's also fine Also the point you mentioned regarding Compatibility and Being open to correct. It's very valid. It's good reminder for me also sometime We have to give them a time and space for them to Get into that perfection and also remembering us that we are also not perfect And that that's a very important point Yeah, thanks for bringing that. Yeah Thanks, John. Yeah, I think Lubega had something to share Uh, first of all the only thing I wanted to say Is number one People should those who have not yet got married should not go for fool's goal fool's goal means Looking at the outside and you take conclusions that will be fool's goal number two Lastly, but not this should be they shouldn't be emotionally charged. They should look through the principles Before they take decisions because once they are emotionally charged and they are section I mean, they are physically near that very person. They will not think straight It will cause them problems that I like if you to regret in the in the next few years 20 years would be more Thank you pastor. Right. Thanks Lubega. Thank you. Yeah, so true, right? So so these are some things to you know, think about um, so the thing is You know, while you Look at all this and the single person might say wow if there's so much to marriage I You know, I think I don't know if I can handle it Anybody feeling that way? You know, you might look at all these things and It seems so complex. I thought it'll be so simple You know, the person will just go down on one knee and propose and I'll say yes and you know Next scene cut to the next scene. We're in the church and oh and then we drive out in that car and then just married and You know, we we think that why why should things be complex? But the fact is this That um, you know like what we saw right at the beginning, you know that It's two different people Well, sin has broken the image Of the of the people We are created in God's image, but that perfect image has been broken because of sin And at the core of it we we are selfish, you know, our lives revolved around ourselves um, well And we're all in different levels of maturity and and so on so so and To top it all You know, we are living in an in time in an in a time and in In a society where this constant change, you know, the the values are changing values like truthfulness and faithfulness and you know, uh purity and Uh being faithful to one who's who we are married to and all that is changing and you you see it in social media It it it's it's it's as if you know, the whole thing of sin is um It comes under the under the title of fun You know, this is what it is. This is fun. It's or the title of I'm just being naughty Right. So it's all being changed. It's actually, you know, hitting at the very fabric of truth of the foundation right, so so the So the thing is the the importance of knowing the importance of preparing So, you know, I get very nervous when people say, you know Faster, you know, we found the right person. We're getting married. When are you getting married next month? I'm like, wow, when did you You know, when did the proposal come? When did you meet? Oh this last week? and I'm like, you know, trying to tell the people Please please wait Uh, please wait. Please go to the time of preparation. Give it six months. Nothing will change I'd give it six months go through the time of preparation get to know Don't say, you know, things like, okay, that person has just only got this window of time And you know before that they need to go to the, you know, us Whichever country and they need to go back and so everything needs to be done No, please please do not make a decision Based on all that, you know, there's there's a whole lot more To marriage and you don't want to spend the rest of your lives, you know Going through the struggle and putting out fires and, you know, going through all that emotional pain and trauma Right, so it's better to prepare. It's better to say no It's better to be wise enough To to say no at the same time I just want to say that it's you need wisdom and you need faith to say yes Also, there are a lot of people who put away things because they they don't want to make commitment They're afraid of making commitment. They've seen the worst of marriage right at home Maybe between their parents. They've seen the worst of marriages And so they're saying if this is what marriage is I don't want it Right. A lot of people who are hurting saying, you know, I've Well, I've known many, many, many, many, many guys or many girls and and if this is what That, you know, companionship is I don't want it, right? Maybe they've been hurt before But the fact is that all that can change, right? There is healing wholeness restoration Knowing that God is the one who designed. God is the one prepared. God is the one who prepares us And enables us to live this life and he's in it. You know, we need to welcome him Into our marriages like welcome him in the preparation process. Welcome him in if we are married welcome him Open the doors and say a lot. Yeah Every aspect of all I've got, you know, you have the right of way Okay, right. Thank you for sharing that, uh, john, uh, lubega Okay, so so the next aspect is this while we are waiting, let's say, uh, you've made the choice You've made the decision Found the right person, you know that the person is not perfect and both of you are preparing Right While you are waiting, okay So while you are Preparing, uh You know, during the engagement time There are some things to consider. Okay. I'm just going to skip over to that. Yeah so Some things which are again non negotiable, right? So What are these these are to say that there's no physical intimacy before marriage. You just say no Well, you could say, okay, I found the perfect person. We are everything is in place all those boxes are ticked And you know, we are all you know all compatibility. Everything is fine. We are just, you know, we're praying together We're starting, you know morning. We are calling each other praying before going to bed We are you know calling each other and praying and oh even between we are sending texts versus everything So, you know, the thing is to we just let down our guard and we're so emotionally you know attached and And then we want to have to grow into physical intimacy Express ourselves physically as well. So well understand that uh physical intimacy Is in the context of marriage. You know, God has designed sex And uh, it is to be used in the right um Right context. So being engaged Is not the same as being married okay, so Um, so that's the thing, you know, so again about engagement You could have a formal engagement. You could have a very informal engagement You know, like recently there was an engagement where One of our friends one of our church members It was like a wedding like, you know, there were some three messages And there was a worship, you know worship team. There's a time of worship. It was like a big service And people coming in, you know wishing After the engagement and taking photos and all that so, uh, it was a big thing You know, it can be a formal thing where both families are involved and or it could be a very informal thing where it's just the two people saying, you know, uh, you know, um getting engaged But whatever it is, um From the time of engagement till The marriage valves are made the covenant is made. Okay, you are not married Okay, um So understand that Okay, um, so Whatever rights and privileges and responsibilities we have In the context of marriage Does not come here If you don't have those rights, you don't have those privileges When we are in the engagement period, we need to understand that so physical intimacy or a sexual relationship with the spouse Uh, it is with the spouse and not with the fiancée Okay, by fiancée we mean the person whom we are engaged to. Okay, so Very clear. Um, let's look at a couple of scriptures. Um Look at, um One Thessalonians 4 Uh, three to five. Okay. I don't have it on the slide, but Yeah, you can look at that one Thessalonians 4 Was a three to five. It's there in the notes Um, but I just want to read from the new king chains before we read from the um Message version Okay, let's uh, okay one Thessalonians 4 3 to 5 But this is the will of god your sanctification That you should abstain from sexual immorality That each of you should know how to possess his own vessel In sanctification and honor Not in passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know god Okay, so this is the will of god. This is the desire of god verse 3 Very clear your sanctification that you should abstain abstain from sexual immorality. So, um, you know sex before marriage Is sexual immorality? right, it's it's uh, it's not right And the bible has a word for it the old Word or in the english word which is used as fornication Right, uh, even though you could be engaged Uh, it's not right to indulge in sex before marriage. Okay, so very very clear. Okay. Um, and also Uh, for those of us who are married Then any other form of extra Marital sexual relationship Is sin Okay, for god's eyes it is sin Therefore, we need to keep ourselves pure Uh at all times, right? Okay, we'll take a break and then we'll come back and continue