 Hello YouTube family. Welcome to another Narc Survival Live video. Today we do have a very interesting topic. Speaking about something that greatly disturbs every narcissist. Because yes no matter what type of narcissist you may be dealing with, this is something that will disturb them. And there's just no way for them to get around it. Doesn't matter if it's a narcissist, a malignant narcissist, a sociopath or even a psychopath. This affects them all. It's something that they all have to go through and it will haunt them until the very end. Before I begin please hit the thumbs up button down below to show your support. Hit subscribe and click all notifications to be notified when I upload a new video in the future. And remember if you would like to book a one-on-one with me you can go to my website it is narcsurvivor.co.uk. Now let's get into this. We're going to get pretty deep into this one. This disturbs the narcissist. It disturbs every narcissist and what this is is the things that they have done to you and not only the things that they have done to you but the things that they have done to anyone. Anytime that they hurt someone, whether it was mentally, emotionally, sexually, psychologically or whatever else it may have been, anytime that they had harmed a person, yes it disturbs them as well. And in fact studies show as I've spoken about in a past video that bullies are more susceptible to the effects of the abuse that they're inflicting on their victims more than the victims themselves. So the damage that they're doing to their victims, the victim is actually experiencing it a lot less than what the bully or narcissist is experiencing. Bullies are actually at a 10 to 25 times risk more of developing a psychiatric condition than their own victims which they are harming. So that is the degree that is just how devastating it is for them. And this is backed up by research and statistics. It disturbs these narcissists. Everything that they did to you, all of their toxic and dysfunctional actions of behaviors and not only what they did to you but what they did to the people before you as well and they will never be able to get over that. It will continue to affect them until the very end. And I know some people talk about this, they say about how it hordes the narcissist and their hurt, their distressed just as much as you if not worse. And then you see videos from other people where they then speak about how it's not that way for a narcissist. A narcissist don't actually have any emotions, they don't feel anything and both of them are right in some ways because narcissists don't feel anything for you. They don't feel anything for their victims. They don't even feel your pain. They don't feel what you feel. They can read into it, they can recognize it, how you're feeling that in that moment but they don't take it on as their own emotion but then at the same time it doesn't mean that they don't feel anything at all. They do feel something and what they feel is for themselves. They feel their own pain, their own distress as a result of what they've done to you. And of course you may wonder, you may think why would they care? Why would it bother them if they don't actually feel what you feel? Then how could it affect them? And again it's got nothing really to do with you. It's more to do with them and the shame of feeling like they're bad people because they do know right from wrong and they understand the effects that it's having on you. So they know that what they're doing is bad, it's not right, it's not socially acceptable, it's evil, wicked and immoral. They understand that so it's constantly affecting them. It's causing them to feel a lot of shame and that shame is eating away at them every day. The more things they do, the more that it accumulates and perpetuates their feelings of distress. I mean just look at them, they are depressed. They're very miserable people, they can't find satisfaction in anything in life. They met you, this amazing, wonderful person and they couldn't find happiness with you. Just look at how they treated you and you were the most patient, kind, forgiving person and yet they still ended up abusing you. Ended up abusing you. They mistreated you, they harmed you but worry not because everything they've done to you and the people for you, they're actually affected by it 10 to 25 times more than you may be affected by it and we can see this just by observing. I mean just look at children who then grew up to become narcissists and psychopaths, criminals, murderers, rapists, just look at what they were like in their childhood. If you can bring up any reports, any evidence of what they were like back then when they were just bullies and then if you can see into the victim's life they may have managed to heal and move on or maybe they didn't, maybe it affected them quite badly but then look at how it affected that narcissist, that psychopath. It affected them so much that they became a narcissist or a psychopath. That's what it does, it drives them insane and I can talk about this on cue from my research and experience but it's really best for you to do the research yourself to see that what I'm saying is completely true and I've known this for quite some time, I didn't really become public about it until just a few months ago but I knew this a very long time ago. That's why four and a half years ago I became a vegan because even when we're eating meat we do feel guilt and shame from doing that and not only that but we absorb the stress hormones of the animal and that's how since I became a vegan and I stopped eating meat I've had so much more energy and I feel a lot happier every day so I definitely advise other people to become vegan as well although I'm not going to push my beliefs on to you I'd like you to take the time and do the research for yourself I have the best thing that we can do not only for animals and other people but also for our own health as well it's to try to minimize the harm and distress that we cause or that we're responsible for that's the best thing that we can do for our own health and instead to spread positivity and compassion it's no coincidence that this world is full of narcissistic people and that at the same time the two most common illnesses in the world are mental illnesses which are anxiety and depression but many of you you fall for the false self this false image you don't even see that they are actually depressed they are deeply miserable a happy person is never going to harm you they're never going to do those types of things to you they're not going to manipulate and punish you that's only what depressed people do when people are genuinely happy they want you to be happy as well because they want for you what they have themselves how a person treats you is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves if they love themselves they're going to love you narcissists despise themselves so of course they're going to despise you this disturbs every narcissist they're shame-based people who are doing everything they can to avoid reflecting on their shame but with everything that they do it causes the shame to grow within them and the more shameful they become the darker they are the more twisted and yet sometimes you may see them joking laughing about it mocking you ridiculing you it gets to a point where everything is just a joke to them they can't take anything seriously in their lives i've asked got nothing to do with happiness or joy that lack of purpose and direction that's depression that's psychosis that's what that is they've done so much now they're losing their minds they barely even existed in reality if at all because otherwise if they were really grounded in reality and they had a strong sense of self they would take accountability for their actions they would try to be better they would take situations more seriously because they would be conscious of the shame but just because they suppress their emotions and they're disconnected doesn't affect the shame from continuing to grow within them that shame dictates their every thought feeling action and behavior what they did to you dictates their every thought feeling action and behavior and many of them don't even know it many of them aren't even aware of it and yet many of you of course i had a stand you've been hurt by this narcissist they've done so many things to you and it was unfair it wasn't right you didn't deserve to go through that i know i understand and you feel like you want to get revenge because you want to make them feel how you feel but they're never gonna feel how you feel they already feel so much worse they're going through hell every day it's their karma and if that isn't enough if that isn't enough that's going to get a lot worse based on what they've already done to you because every hurtful word and action that was intended to harm or to traumatize you from that point on it dictates their every thought feeling action and behavior because these things are never resolved in their minds they deny it they suppress it they refuse to take accountability and deal with the consequences they refuse to make amends so instead that shame stays stuck in the body and it affects their thinking and of course the thoughts lead to actions the actions rather the thoughts lead to feelings the feelings lead to actions the behaviors to where they're stuck in this endless cycle this shame rage abuse cycle which then goes back to the shame again and then they abuse shame abuse shame they just go back and forth because they chose to go down a wrong path where they did these things to you which causes them to feel shame to where they want to abuse and punish you even more and then by doing that they feel even more shame and then they want to abuse you even more this is why they appear to become even more dark with time and the abuse continues to escalate this is why the abuse gets worse because everything they do that is piling on more and more shame which means they've got to abuse you even more in an attempt to deny or suppress it this is why they become even more abusive with time because they're not paying attention to it it's not being resolved they're running away from it and by doing that it continues to grow and this is why the long you spend with them the worse they become and they may have been all right in the beginning they treated you well or maybe they just lied to future fakes but then with time they began to devalue you they started abusing you and at first they may have started out like a joke like they didn't really mean it and then it became more serious and then they may have even started putting their hands on you when they had never done that before then maybe they were cheating on you lying to you stealing from you notice the pattern with time the abuse escalates it gets worse they do more and more shocking things to you because the more that they do the more the shame continues to grow within them which means that the more abusive they become they just get worse and worse and worse and they're really stuck in this cycle and it's like there's no way for them to get out of it because the more that they do it the more difficult it is for them to get out of it especially since they've been in denial for such a long time and if they've had enablers around them who have told them or made them feel like what they're doing is fine but it doesn't matter what anyone says is fine it doesn't matter if the entire world agrees that something is okay for people to do that's a matter at all because that's our core and yes even in the narcissist core in the psychopaths core deep down we all know what is right and what is wrong we know that it's wrong to manipulate deceive or harm other people and if we do those things we will feel shame but narcissists don't take accountability they don't want to make amends they don't want to confront themselves they don't want to self reflect so how could they ever deal with the shame if you want to deal with the shame the first thing you got to do is accept it yourself that what you've done is wrong take accountability and then try to make amends try to reunite rekindle with that person and then forgive yourself confess your sins to God ask for forgiveness these are all things that narcissists cannot do and you will know that because just by looking at them you can see they just become even more bitter and resentful towards you because they're having trouble dealing with the shame they don't want to reflect on it when that would be the very thing that would free them from that cycle where they could then begin to heal if they were just able to accept that they were wrong but the problem is once they go on for such a long time all of the things that they've done it becomes very difficult for them to accept it because the entire time they lied they blamed you so it gets to a point where it's like it's just too overwhelming for them they don't know how could they possibly compensate for what they've done so it's like they have no other choice they're left to just continue on that path they're left to just pretend like they've done nothing wrong or they'll find a way to rationalize it or make it out as though it wasn't that bad but deep down they know how bad it was they know how bad they are and it disturbs them and take your look at them and you wonder why are they going on such rampage why are they acting so crazy why are they running smear campaigns they're trying to get me fired from my job they're targeting me financially they're doing all of these crazy things to punish me why are they acting so mad you may wonder why like i said everything they've done to you i said direct influence on their thoughts feelings actions behaviors so that's why they're acting that way i think they'll twist it around and they'll make it seem like it's because of you they'll blame you as though that's why they're acting their way but actually no they're acting that way because of their emotions as a result of their thoughts of having these thoughts based on what they've done to you so when you see them going all out they're acting crazy they're raging they're throwing tantrums they're projecting deflecting doing everything they can to just feel like they've done nothing wrong and there's nothing wrong with them that's all a result of their shame it's all a result of what they've done to you and it's disturbing them in their minds to where they feel like they just have to do something and of course they're not borderlines borderline self-loathe they harm themselves because of the shame with narcissists it's more about blame and deflection focusing outwards so that's what they do they disown these parts of themselves that they don't like and assign them to you and then of course since they've assigned it to you now they've got to punish you and then by punishing you the shame continues to grow within them and then they've got to punish you even more and it just goes on and on and it never ends and that's why you see them in old age they just become even more bitter and resentful even more hateful more miserable and they just can't find fulfillment in anything that's how they get that way but many people make the mistake they think they become that way because of the things that people have done to them but no it's actually because of the things that they have done to other people that's how they end up that way because they didn't accept it and that's how many of us because we accept the things we've done wrong in the past and even though all of these horrible things have been done to us we can still smile we can still be happy we can still find satisfaction in life because as I said it's not a result of the things that were done to them that's not why they're unhappy that's not why they're so bitter and immiscible and they feel like everything's unfair it's because of the things they've done that's why they're that way and many of them they will never realize this they will never come to this conclusion but this is why it's so important to forgive ourselves to confess our sins and to repent this is why that's so important of course narcissists don't self reflect so this is it's never going to be that way for them and instead they're going to continue to grow old and just keep doing the same things again and again manipulating people harming them exploiting them and it's like they get into all of these relationships they come into them with practically nothing they leave with everything and yet they may wonder why are they still so miserable why can't they find happiness with anything they have and that's why this is what disturbs them they're not disturbed by everything that was done to them they're disturbed by everything that they have done so that's the message for today and I hope it brings comfort to those of you who think that the narcissist is just moving on and living their best lives it's never going to be that way for them I can promise you I can guarantee it 100 percent if you found this video helpful hit that thumbs up button down below let me know what you thought about this video and if you agree or disagree or anything else that you would like to add let me know in the comment 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