 So, on today's toolbox, we actually want to discuss a conversation that seems to be happening inside of our X Factor Accelerator with a lot of our members and feelings and struggles that they're facing in our current world. And as we know, when you work on yourself, when you work on your career, when you work on personal growth and development, and you're striving and you're putting in effort and energy, you can feel that relationships in your life might not fit with who you are becoming. Might not be the right network for you. And I know as I've become more successful, I've made new friends, but I've also lost some friends that I made in high school and college. And as you're going through this personal growth journey, it can feel isolating at times as you see some of those relationships wane. Some of those ties you had built in high school and college might not fit your core values, might not fit your goals and ambitions anymore. And as we strive for these goals and ambitions that we have, we're finding ourselves having less and less time. If we're focusing on our career, if we're trying to grow our business, if we're working on ourself, it can feel very strained and very isolating as you go through this process of growth and development. There's a few phenomenon that we want to discuss as to why we might be feeling this way. And then we're going to give some simple strategies that you can go and apply at the end of this toolbox to break out of feeling this isolated and start building the relationships in your life that really matter. When you think for yourself and you choose growth as your path, every decision you make takes you farther and farther away from your original tribe. That original tribe is the people from where you grew up, who you went to school with, who you went to high school with. Your very first decision outside of that then becomes, well, are you going to go off to college or are you going to enter into the workforce? That becomes your first crossroads. Once you go into college, you make more friends or you go into the workforce. You're going to make friends with the people who are around you and that job. So in your job or at college. But then you're going to have decisions to make in college of what classes you're going to take. What interests do you have? And of course, when you're in the workforce, you're going to have to make decisions on, do you want to start a family or not? Every time that you make decisions that are based on your feelings and what you feel is best for you, that's a crossroads and that's a deviation from the tribe that you've already been set in. Now we are herd animals, so that decision is difficult because that is you leaving the herd. That first moment of leaving your house is mama bird kicking you out of the, out the door and you got to learn the fly. But every time you make these decisions based on your own well-being and thinking for yourself, you're leaving one tribe, but also opening the door to enter into another one. The more times we make these decisions based on what is best for us, those tribes are going to get smaller unless we are bringing in and joining new tribes that are adjacent and compatible with the new values and skills and interests that we're taking on. And in our conversation with Stephen Kotler, which we were discussing flow state and performance after 50. Again, you are making the decision to be physically active after 50 and everything that comes with being at a top performance after 50. But everything that goes before that when you're making these decisions in your life is the aspect of having replacement friends. And Stephen brings that up because as you're going through life and working at a peak performance level, the one thing that stays the same is your relationships are going to be a huge part of you being your best because your relationships, if they're not supportive, inspirational, aspirational and motivational, then they're anti all of those things. They're working against you. They're taking you from your best. And if you're listening to this show, we know that you have a growth mindset. We know that you want to operate at your best. You are here to build skills. So unless you are taking on and bringing in replacement friends for every decision that you are making for your well-being to be at your best, you're working against yourself. We had Dr. Roldinger on the show to talk about the famous Harvard Happiness Study. The core takeaway from that study around your longevity, your health, your mental well-being, emotional support is the power of your relationships. That determines your life, and which is why we started the show, which is why we're constantly preaching building relationships as the most important single factor. But along with these decisions you discussed, Johnny, there feels that there's a move towards more isolation, more hours spent at work, making choices for yourself around your health, around working out, around what to eat. And all of these decisions can lead you further into this feeling of isolation where your friends from college and high school are drifting away, they're starting families, they're focusing on what's important to them and their core values. And it could be easy to put on your AirPods and listen to a podcast and go to the gym and work out alone. It could be easy after work to throw on Netflix and just watch it on your own. It could be very easy for you to just say, you know what, I'm going to just spend more time at work because I know that's going to move me ahead in my career and that's going to bring me the success that I'm looking for. But each one of these decisions can lead you further into this feeling of isolation. And there's some external factors that we want to talk about and reasons you might be feeling this outside of those personal decisions you're making. And these are themes that we discussed inside of our X Factor Accelerator with our members because they seem to be coming up more and more. And as we were sharing with Michael, we have European members, we have US based members, we have Australian and Southeast Asian based members inside of the program. So these underlying external forces were all feeling. So it's important for you to realize and recognize that they're happening. And then we're going to talk about some simple strategies that you can use to break free from the thoughts and feelings that could be leading to you making those isolating choices. The first one we've talked a little bit about on the show. Johnny and I were growing up in a very blue collar background and in that environment, it was all built around this idea that you just work harder than the next guy and your hard work determines your success. And then as I got to school, hard work became grades and how do I compare myself in my class? How do I compare myself in graduate school? How do I perform at a level that outshines the next person? And that underlying thought of this world being a meritocracy. If I just outwork someone, if I just outperform someone, if I outscore someone, then I'm going to get ahead, then I'm going to reach success. And we're now seeing for the first time for a lot of us that the world is not a meritocracy. It is not just about outworking the next guy. There's nepotism. There's favoritism. There's cronyism in every situation you find yourself in. We hear it in getting into college, how you look at the top universities and most students in the top universities are legacy students, meaning their family donated and helped them get in and get ahead. You look at the top tech companies and you see more and more. The people who are moving ahead are not the top performers. They're often the most likable. They're often the people with relationships with upper management, which is why this relationship piece is such an underpinning of everything we do, because you can't just outwork the next guy and get ahead. There's office politics and you have to be able to play the game. You need a social awareness of what is going on. What is the hierarchical structure in that company? Do you have a place to be able to wiggle through that and up? Or are you shut out? This all comes from having great relationships in that organization, so you can figure it out. You can't move up if you're not gathering intelligence. That's why when it comes to boots on the ground with our hardcore military guys, the special ops who come through, they are looking for resources and skills and tools to better gather intelligence. Before anyone else gets there, they can put together a game plan in order to accomplish their missions. You need to be able to gather that intelligence, gather that info about the workings and going on into that organization so you can understand how you're going to split it up the middle, how you're going to cruise through. If I go into a new workplace, if I imagine that I'm now starting a new job and I'm showing up at the office the first time, what would make my heart sing is not to see people that arrive half an hour early, sit down at their desk and then work like crazy until they fold that 20 years later. What I want to see when I come into a new workplace is people smiling, shaking my hand, asking me how I'm doing if I want to grab a coffee later. Now, that is not the hardcore worker that puts in every ounce of effort to get the most out of it. Those are people that have a certain amount of social skills to make the office work together that gives everyone that warm feeling. Yes, there's nepotism and favorism at work, and there's also that intelligence gathering. There's this human skills, this social skills aspect in there as well that just makes our coworkers happy to see us show up every morning. Let's be honest. Every single one of us went through a job interview process. You're not just numbers. You didn't just submit your resume and you get the job. You have to demonstrate the ability to communicate, the ability to build rapport with the interviewer, the ability to fit in culturally, not just perform. What happens is when you have this realization, you can start to feel a bit isolated. Wow, it's not just my hard work. Wow, I need to play office politics. I need to rely on my social skills, the soft skills that maybe I didn't learn in school, and it can be very easy at that place to then turn away from the politics to say, I don't want to play this game to feel like the world isn't fair, but in actuality, this is the game that we're all playing. We want you to get better at the game in front of you, not flip the board over and say it's not for me. Now, we also have outside of work. We have media that we consume. We've talked about social media. There's news media. There's all of the content that you are consuming on these devices that is forwarding a message. That message could be join our tribe. It could be purchase this item. It could be eat this food. So we're inundated more and more with more and more advertising. And if you've ever been to Times Square, you don't even know how they could fit another billboard on those buildings. We're inundated with information. And that information is steering you in a direction to make a choice, choose a tribe, pick a person, pick a side, join the debate, get enraged, get excited about something. And that messaging as you're inundated with it can also create a bit of a fun house and mirror effect, allowing you to feel isolated. That isn't for me. That tribe isn't for me. I don't want to be a part of this politicization. I don't want to be pulled in these directions. In that advertising, in the marketing, everyone who's in that field understands that the greatest motivator is fear and anger. That's what you're going to be bombarded with. And that fear and that anger, if you're isolated, it's going to be maddening. It's going to push you to your limits. This is why having a great social group who understands this, that you can talk to about what you are seeing and what is going on, can blow off steam, mellow you out, allow you to remember and recognize that you're being abused by the media, that you are being pushed these narratives to get you angry, to make you scared. And if you don't have a network in which you can discuss these things to get to the truth, your emotions are being messed with. You are being emotionally manipulated. And I've said so many times that I feel like our media is the biggest narcissist that you'll ever meet. Because what do they do? They gaslight for an agenda that they have. They gaslight in order to stir you up, to upset you, to get you think that you're crazy. Because if you start to think that you're crazy, then you're going to be more susceptible to what they want you to do. Because then if you get angry enough, you get scared enough, you'll submit and you ask, well, what would you like me to do? That's what they want you to say. That's what they want you to feel. So they can say, eat this food, vote for these people, adopt these ideas, so that you'll be a good little worker bee. Yeah, no product was ever sold by telling you that you have a really great body, skin, sense of fashion, whatever. It's like, no, you don't. And this is why you need our product. So having a circle of friends, a social network that gives you honest feedback is the antidote to that. So there's workplace volatility. We're seeing layoffs and tech, a lot of job security that we thought we had is disappearing. There's volatility in the media and the way they're purchasing world events and just how awful they are. And it's the worst possible scenario. And this is going to be even worse than the last, right? Because they have to keep our attention in the attention economy. We're also seeing volatility in the financial systems. So crypto, FTX, SVB, all of these institutions financially that we thought, especially going into this bull market that we've been a part of for much of our life, especially the millennials in our audience, there was this idea that there was safety and if we invested and we worked hard that we could move forward and now we're seeing volatility there. So in a world full of volatility, we have to look at who is our community and what resources do we have to support us in that network, whether it's finding a job offer, whether it's the emotional support we need in moments where things are difficult, losing a job, being forced to move, having a breakup or a change in your relationship. It's also the knowledge you need, the inside information, the job opening, the opportunity, all comes from this network. So when we're seeing our X Factor members feel isolated, being top performers, being successful in their careers, working hard to move forward, feeling that their social ties are weakened over time, because many of us, let's be honest, make most of our friends in our adult life in high school and college because everything is geared to be social. Everything about that experience is geared to be social. Join the team, join the club, participate, join a frat, join a sorority. And then all of a sudden, we start making these decisions on our own path to carve out the life we want for ourselves. And those decisions mean shedding some of those relationships, moving away from people that you felt connected to. When we look at what's happened to most of our community resources, we look at the rise of secularism. We had John Taffer on to talk about the corner bar and the disappearance and the move towards man caves and the move towards you, building expensive home theaters so you don't go to the movies anymore. We're building more and more of our life around isolation too. We're drawn to the PlayStation 5. We're drawn to the Netflix versus the choices our ancestors had to be social, to be a part of a community, to join clubs. So we have to work against the tide. We have to work against these forces to build the relationships and the community in our lives that matter. And when you recognize this, when you realize that you're falling into this trap of being a bit of a lone wolf, of choosing more isolation in response to the stress, the volatility, the media, the external forces that are making us feel worse about situations, we're doubling down on the exact things that harm us that move us further and further away from the people, the relationships, the success we want in life. So when we look at all of these forces, for many we have to break out and make a singular choice around how do I put myself in a situation to build and foster the relationships that I need to get ahead. That's going to mean taking out the airpods. That's going to mean going to social events. That's going to mean seeking out communities. And that's going to feel difficult and challenging. Why? Because it's fraught with potential failure. It's fraught with potential rejection. And we know that we want as humans to feel safe. We want to feel heard, valued, accepted. But in order to find that tribe, in order to find that community, we're going to have to go through some difficult choices to get there. In a way we become victims of our own success, combine the last three years of lockdowns and pandemics and stuff with this glorified view of what would it be like if I just had an awesome man cave with arcade machines and a PS5, a home cinema. You work hard. Why not build that man cave or this entertainment center at home that then after a hard day at work, working on your project, working on your business, whatever it is, to relax in this comfort zone that you've afforded yourself, that you look forward to. And it really takes a conscious effort to say, wait, I'm done with my work now. Time to close the laptop and not fire up the PS5, not fire up the home cinema, but actually take that extra step which takes effort and pushes you outside of your comfort zone and will go and dial up your inner critic and then actually step outside of your home or your workplace and meet people. Do that scary thing that's known as going to a bar, going to a social event, going to the cinema, going to meet people. And you bring up a great point, Michael. Let's be honest. Through the pandemic, we started working from home. We sold more flat screen TVs and home entertainment systems than ever before because we were stuck at home, exercise equipment. It was hard to find weights because we were all working out at home. So home is probably the most comfortable place in your life right now. You got a multiple monitor setup. You got surround sound. You have the latest video games, streaming services, booming, a never ending choice of media in front of you, all that you can consume on your own. This is not necessarily bad. I mean, we all know how important it is to have a safe harbor, a safe place we can come back to. We can recharge our batteries, especially the introverted among us. I mean, I know that I probably wouldn't survive my social life if I didn't have a PlayStation to come back to every once in a while just to really recharge. And it's good to know that there's a place where you just come to, you close the door. It's yours. You get to be you. You get to relax. And it's also this devious comfort zone that can really suck you in because it is so comfortable because it is so safe. And it is important to make that a conscious decision to say, okay, now I need to recharge or to say, okay, you know, actually, I have some energy left over. I have some ambition to build that social circle. Let me put the effort in and go out. Know if you're in a situation where you have great relationships with those former friends, but they're in a different city. They're in a different phase of life. You know, they're parents now or they move back home to support their family and you're not in the same location. How do you spark new friendships? How do you create new connections? I always recommend you start looking at what are your current interests, passions, hobbies, pursuits, or that mission that Johnny's talked about. What is it now for you? What are those activities that light you up that you're excited to do that you're looking forward to? Maybe when the snow thaws, it's mountain biking. Maybe it's that surf trip that you've been meaning to take. What are those passions, hobbies, pursuits that light you up? And how do we combine socializing with them? How do we seek out people who enjoy those exact same things as us? Whether it's exercise and CrossFit, whether it's a dance class, whether it's cooking, how do we find those activities, those passions and hobbies that may have fallen to the wayside that maybe for various reasons we said, I'll do it next time. I'll do it later. I've been meaning to do that, but didn't actually take that step to do. And how do we engage with other people who share those exact same hobbies, interests, passions, and pursuits? So the important thing here, AJ, is the social component. Like when we talk about hobbies and passions and missions, sitting at home and coding a video game by yourself might be a passion that you enjoy and a mission you want to be on, but it's probably not going to help you build that social circle, which is not to say you shouldn't be sitting at home coding video games if that's your passion. However, you also need to think about bringing other activities into your life to bring those social opportunities your way. So in understanding this, the antidote to all of this is replacement friends, a strategy and framework to build out your network. Replacement friends are one aspect of this, but your network is going to get you your next job. It's going to help you move up the ladder. It's going to help you create that new business. It is going to support and inspire and motivate you to do all the things that you've been wanting to do. The reason you haven't been doing them is because the motivation and inspiration and aspiration was lacking. You have to find that because as we've stated, everything around you is working to atomize you and to get you comfortable sitting at home. But you know as well as we do that sitting at home and staring at the ceiling when at late at night, when you're going to bed, knowing that you're leaving points on the field, that you're not living a fulfilling life is the issue. So when our members join the X factor, it's about the frameworks and strategies to begin building a life worth fighting for. That is where your fulfillment comes in. You can think of this connect phase as your lead source, right? In our social sales funnel, there's three steps here. So what are all the places that you can get leads? You have your already established connections and you might need to outreach and rebuild some of those. And then what are the sources that we're going to bring in our new leads? So this will be going out to events, meeting new people, making connections that you've met online to connect in real life, make a list of what your lead sources are and how you're going to build them out and get more engaged. Now some of these lead sources, like Michael's example, may not be obvious to you. You may enjoy coding video games and you might feel like that's very isolating or you can do that on your own. But there's a meetup group for coding. There's a coding bootcamp you could take to meet other people interested and passionate about coding. And in sharing that interest, sparking that connection and that relationship becomes a lot easier. And as we know, building relationships takes time. It takes vulnerability. So why not set yourself up for success with a shared interest, a shared commonality, and the vulnerability around learning that new skill together, enjoying that pursuit together with like-minded people? So for some of our X Factor participants, that's dance classes. For some of them, it's improv, getting on stage, breaking out of public speaking fear and Toastmasters. For some, it's joining a gym and exercising, but doing it in a community instead of doing it with your AirPods in or doing it in your home gym. My favorite personal story around building this community around an theoretically isolating hobby was that many years ago, I decided to try miniature painting. And I thought that was something that I do after work in my living room, which is, you know, set up the paint on the minis and I start painting. And then one day, I went to buy some supplies during the lunch break and I brought them back into the office and I had them lying on my table and someone walked by and I said, Oh, are you painting minis? And I was like, no one knows what that even is. So raise your hand in the audience, if you know what you're talking about. I know we have some mini painters in X Factor. Before I even knew it, we had a weekly miniature painting meet up at the office every Thursday, 15, I kid you not like 15, 20 people came together with their minis, with their brushes, with their files. And we sat there all evening and we were painting. So there is, there is hope out there and that certainly works not with every isolating hobby, but who knows, like there's potential out there. Now we all have social capital. That's the value that we provide to people in our lives. And it's also the value that people provide to us in our lives. And we define social capital as your knowledge. Maybe it's the cheat code to the video game. Maybe it's your ability to write code. Maybe it's the knowledge you've built in day trading, or it could be in your career. We also have relationships. Relationships are a part of our social capital, the people you know, the people that you've worked with, the people that were your neighbors, the people you went to college with, those relationships are social capital in all of our lives. And the third piece is emotional support. The support we provide one another, the high five around success, the cheering up a friend when they're down, the support we give them when things aren't working, or the support we give them when things are working in their lives. When you recognize those three things about yourself, and you're putting yourself in a position to reach back out to people in your life, how can you offer one of those three things or all of those three things to them? Can you share a bit of knowledge about the town you just moved to? Can you share a bit of emotional support about the fact they just got married or they moved to a new town or they started a new career and got promoted? Or can you introduce them to someone that you recently met? Can you grow their network? When we start to look at the relationships we've had in our life that still matter to us that we drifted away from, and we look through the lens of the social capital we provide, we can start to strengthen ties that have weakened over time, that have naturally progressed in a way for us to feel like we've drifted apart. And that's really the first step in rebuilding and reconnecting with the relationships that really matter in your life. So the most common thought when participants hear this is like, well, I haven't reached out to this friend for three years, four years, five years, it's going to be so weird to reach out now. And then another year goes by, another year goes by, here's the truth, 99% of the time your friend is thinking exactly the same. Or I can't reach out to AJ, it's been three years, it's going to be so weird to text him now, it was five years, it's going to be so weird, right? Now you have two people that want to really reach out to each other again, and both of them stall for the same reason, which is, oh, it's been so long, this would be weird. Do reach out, just send a hello, just send a hey, I just found this old photo of us meditating in Thailand, I was just thinking of you. Just do that and see what comes out of it. I know that initial text can feel, that initial message, that initial email could feel the most overwhelming and fraught, like what if they ignore it, what if they don't respond, what if they're not interested anymore, which is why I love sharing a photo. Because a photo has emotional context, it takes it back to a memory, a moment in life you both shared together. And it's why Facebook shows you this day 12 years ago, when we see those photos, it evokes positive memories. For Facebook, for Meta, it gets you scrolling more, it gets you reengaging with the app, it's calling you back, oh, I do have these memories, I do have these moments that I want to go back and reminisce on. So it's that opportunity to spark that emotional connection. And whenever we get a photo with each other in it, we're going to naturally be transported back to that memory. And it short circuits that initial anxiety or concern you might have around how are they going to respond, what is going to be the conversation, how do I pick this up again when it's gone that long without communication. The other choice you have here is to not do that and then live with a regret and live with what could have been for the rest of your life. Those are the two choices, reach out or deal with a regret. Now that regret, as we heard from Dr. Waldinger, is one of the biggest regrets people have later in life, that they let those relationships strain and dissipate and disappear from their life, that they weren't willing to take that step to make amends to reach back out to reconnect with people. So this is a natural phenomenon of living life, of moving forward, of being successful in your career, of doubling down on all the things that are important to you. These relationships can very easily fall to the wayside. So we want to solidify our connections that we've made. And this is where the mission comes in. For myself, I have several missions. I have a romantic mission. I have my work mission, which is the art of charm and getting this information out to everyone as possible so we can make the world a better place for my own little corner of the internet. And then also my hobby and creative outlet mission, which is making a record, being involved in the rock and roll scene. And so the people that I meet online or that I meet out, the reason to meet up might be to go to a show, to go to a concert, to go into the studio and write some songs. There is a reason that we are meeting up outside in real life to create that bond, to work on something together. And this is a big component of that. Spend some time to figure out what your mission is. When your mission driven, then there's going to be intentionality behind everything you do. You now have a why you won't be sitting around the house with anxiety rising through the roof because you're trying to figure out what you need to do. You have it all laid out. So let me give you a few more examples of mission because they're going to be different for each and every one of us. So for me, obviously I have a business mission of growing the art of charm and becoming a stronger business leader. And that involves entrepreneurship, that involves masterminds, that involves connecting with other entrepreneurs in my network and in other people's network. So if I find out that a friend of a friend is a business owner, I want to get to know that person because we have a shared mission of growing businesses and we know that building businesses is a lifelong learning project. There's going to be moments of failure, there's going to be moments of success and it can feel very lonely and isolating when you're building my personal missions. So I'm trying to get better at my golf game. So for me, if I find someone else as a golfer, whether they're good or bad, I'm inviting them to a foursome. I'm inviting them to play golf when the weather's a lot better in LA. I also am working on my health. So in quitting drinking and focusing a lot on my health and getting physically fit, my mission is hiking is going to Barry's Bootcamp workout classes is joining in more exercise related activities in my life. Those are the choices that I'm making and I'm looking for ways to find other people who are making those same choices, who are on that same mission of health. And I'm finding how can I add socialization in with all of my healthy activities? So instead of hiking alone, hosting a group hike here in LA, instead of just going to the gym and putting on my AirPods, going to a group workout class. I've shared this with clients. I have some clients who they're executives and they only work out alone and they have a very strict exercise routine that they're following and they have a personal trainer who's building and shaping their routine and just adding one group exercise class, whether it's cycling, whether it's hiking, whether it's going to a workout class like a CrossFit just one time a week, bringing socialization into their fitness has opened up opportunities to meet other like-minded people to connect to form these relationships. And I'll be honest, around the health and wellness piece, the most growth-minded people I know are the ones who are working on their physical wellbeing and growth in that area. So you're starting to self-select and be strategic with opportunities to meet like-minded people. So at the end of the day, it's about having a high value network, one that supports and inspires and motivates you to reach your best. Because for those of you who are laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling like you're leaving points on the field, that you're not winning the day, that you're on autopilot and you're just numb to everything that is going on. It is because you're not striving. You're not inspired to be at your best. And when you've created a high value network, it's just an automatic. You're inspired because you're hearing what the people in your network are doing. You're inspired, you're motivated because AJ's out there on another round of golf getting better. And it's like, oh man, I can't go back out there with him and have him give me a hard time next week. I gotta get moving. I need to get to the range. All of these things have an influence on you. And when you're not fulfilled, your body has a way of letting you know that you're not. And that anxiety that is pushing you to do something is pushing you to get out there, to connect, to be around these people. Where everything else in your life is telling you to be safe, to stay home, to turn on Netflix. Just putting yourself in the arena and just surrounding yourself with like-minded people and going and taking action in a social realm in these areas that we talked about is not enough. Hope is not a strategy. And we hear this time and time again inside the X Factor. I'm going to the events. I'm meeting all these people. I'm getting business cards. I'm adding them on LinkedIn. I'm getting phone numbers. But what do I do? How do I actually turn that into something? I have a great conversation, but that doesn't lead necessarily to a great relationship. And relationships take time and vulnerability. That's the secret sauce. So how do we create time and vulnerability? And this is going back to our social sales funnel. The second step after you've made all these connections, you've met all of these people, you've reconnected with old friends, is you host an event. Hosting doesn't necessarily mean it's at your house. It doesn't mean rolling out the red carpet and getting a chef and cleaning your place. But it means you rallying like-minded people together, you community building, not waiting for someone else to reach out to you, not hoping that an event will inspire them to invite you. I'll give you another great example. A client of mine is a huge college basketball fan. Now, a lot of his friends in the city that he's in have other teams that they support. They didn't go to the same college as him, but it's March Madness. Everyone's watching college basketball. So he decided to take Friday off and park it at a sports bar. And he just invited all of his friends to come join him for as long as they can, take a long lunch, come after work. He's going to be watching college basketball all Friday night. That is a way to invite people into your life, to get them inspired to hang out with you. It takes a little bit of planning. It takes you setting aside the next two weeks, what are two or three things you're going to be doing, and having those plans in your back pocket. Now, the key to these plans are, what would you enjoy doing even if no one showed up? If no one showed up to watch college basketball, is he going to have a good time? Yeah, he's out at the sports bar. It's social. The game's on. He loves doing it. He doesn't need 40 people to have a good time. He doesn't need everyone to show up to have a good time. But having that invite, the power of the invite, not only signifies to the person you just met, I want to spend more time with you. I want you in my life. But it allows them to think of you the next time that they have something coming up. Oh, I should invite AJ. Oh, I should invite Johnny. And Johnny invited me to the show. I couldn't make it, but I'm going to see this metal band. I'm going to invite Johnny. It brings you to a position of top of mind because you're taking action and inviting people into your life. Now, why I love group activities. Group activities take the pressure off of me as a bit of an introvert. They allow all of my other social connections to foster and tie together. And I'm building social capital as we talked about with those relationships. And it saves me on time. I don't have enough time right now to go to six dinners a week, to spend four nights out one-on-one with someone, having lengthy lunches or going on a two-hour hike, just one-on-one. I don't have that time to dedicate right now with everything else in my life. But can I get three people to gather on the golf course for a foursome? Absolutely. Can I get three friends to join me for a Barry's Boot Camp class and then have a shake after or grab a healthy lunch after? Absolutely. So by leveraging the group activity, I'm leveraging my time in a meaningful way. And if someone had a great time at that group event, if I found that this new person I met loved golf as much as me, then I'll invite them out to dinner for one-on-one time. I'll follow up with them after that great group hang to invite them over to watch the game, to invite them over to have dinner with me. So what I'm doing is I'm meeting new people, top of funnel, for those of you who love sales and marketing like us, that I'm qualifying these people, all these new leads, these social leads by inviting them to events that I love doing that showcase my passions, hobbies and interests, showcase my mission. And then if they've had a great time with me at my qualifying event, I invite them for one-on-one hangs. I invite them to build a relationship with me to share a bit more to start working towards that vulnerability piece. So time plus vulnerability equals relationship. How do I increase time through group activities? I increase vulnerability by starting to hang out one-on-one with the people that I really enjoy. And all of a sudden, you've created and developed a new network, a new high value social circle that's going to create opportunities to remove yourself from the isolation that's happening all around us right now and is going to inspire you to move closer to your goals, to work on that golf game, to finish the album, to become stronger in the gym. So as we wrap this episode, we covered a lot of ground here and a lot of strategies that we share inside the X Factor Accelerator, but part of this is being accountable. You've listened to the show, you've jotted down some notes, you thought about, oh man, that sounds cool, I'd love to do that. Are you going to take action? Are you going to send that photo to your old friends? Are you going to invite someone to March Madness Watch Party? Are you going to go stretch yourself at an improv class? If you find that the accountability piece is difficult, you have all these great ideas, but you're not finding yourself executing, well we created the X Factor Accelerator to give you a high value network and community and to hold you accountable to all these strategies, frameworks and mindsets that we've preached here today so that you can build momentum in your life. Repeated consistent action in these areas builds the social momentum you need to create the relationships that matter in your life. Don't underestimate the extra power that community can bring to us because imagine yourself in a weekly call with 12, 15 like-minded people that are on the same journey as you are and you might find yourself in a position where you say, hey, I'm in this in this city, I don't know what to do here and someone else might say, well, I've lived in that city a year ago, go check out this and this and this or how about you do this or I was in the same situation and what I did and that is this, what's the word for this group thing, swarm thing, you have a lot of brains that you can tap into that have been on exactly this in exactly the same spot you are at right now, they've been there, they've done it, they solved it, why not tap into that, why not make use of that supportive group and get inside from it.