 The narcissist comes back right after this. At some point the narcissist starts disregarding the rules. They start treating you unfairly. In a way that is unjustifiable and unacceptable because they're not concerned about you anymore. They've got someone else and that is when they start mercilessly putting you down because they've already been messing around behind your back so they've got someone waiting to take your place. Which is why you will notice that their behavior just seems to get worse. There's more and more arguments. They're more disrespectful because this new person they're dealing with has them feeling like they don't need to respect you. So they become reckless and careless. They become heedless of the consequences of their actions. They used to be passive aggressive but now they're not even hiding it from you. They're doing things right in front of your face because they don't care about anything with you anymore. They think they've got a better deal somewhere else because they've been talking to someone behind your back so now they think that they can disrespect you because they're going to leave anyway. They see anything they have with you as something temporary as something that isn't going to last long. This new person gives them the confidence to treat you however they choose to because they're over there establishing something with someone else. But for some strange reason they still keep coming back to you and it makes you wonder why because they said all of these bad things about you. They said you're nothing. They said they didn't want to be around you anymore. So why are they still lurking in the shadows? Why are they still checking in on you? And that is how you should know that everything they said was a lie. They didn't really believe that about you. They just had to create a problem. They had to create a reason to justify the movement forward with someone else because they know that behind the scenes they're the ones who have been doing you wrong so they want to look like a good person as though it was something you did that caused them to move on. When you didn't really do anything they just thought the grass was greener on the other side. They were looking for the bigger better deal. They were looking for the next shiny new toy and they found something they thought was good enough to replace you. So they created confusion and certainty and a lack of order so that they could hurry up and get rid of you because now they have a reason but that's not really the cause of it. Their mind was just more focused on the other person who was pressuring them to leave you. So they had to make a decision and they decided to move forward. They decided to cut you off because they thought things were going to be better for them and they got an illusion of that in the beginning because things always go well at the start especially when they love bombing this new person and they've given them all of their attention. If they had done those things for you there wouldn't have been an issue but they move on and give that to someone else so of course things are going to go well in the beginning because they're just getting to know each other. So they can't find any faults because nothing has gone wrong yet so everything seems charming and endearing which is why narcissists are addicted to the beginnings of a relationship because then they have a clean slate they have an absence of restraints and commitments and they don't have to consider what has happened in the past. They can start again which is why they're constantly seeking new people they don't value anything they already have they don't value anyone who's already with them and knows them which is why nothing you did was ever enough for them they were never satisfied or filled you did more than enough for them but they were still bored because they had gotten used to you it was not like a new or exciting when everything is normal and functionable the narcissist gets bored they start looking elsewhere because they're unable to relax in that type of environment so they will desire something new and in the beginning it may be fun for them but then when things start getting serious and it's time for them to start building that's when they have an epiphany they start to realize that they're in the same position as when they were with you so there was no reason for them to leave you they left you because they thought they would get a better deal they thought things would be better for them but it wasn't so once the fun is over they start thinking about you again and that is why they check in on you that is why they monitor your activities and development that is why they keep you under observation because they know they did you wrong they know they treated you badly and unfairly they come back because their new situation didn't pan out as they expected it to because things didn't go as they had planned because they can't deal with failure so they need something to make them feel better maybe the other person they were with left them for someone else so now they want to quickly come back to you so that they still feel wanted and so that they can get one over on the other person so that they don't look like a fool the narcissist comes back when things inevitably go wrong with the other person they come back with fake apologies and sob stories they come back with false epiphanies and some of them may even get their family members involved they will get their family members to tell you that they miss you to make you think that they have changed they will get their friends to tell you that they will never cheat on you they will never do anything to hurt you until you start to believe it until you decide to give them another chance because you think things are going to be better this time but it never works out that way it just gets worse and they go back to doing the same things again they do the same things that caused the problem of the first time which is how you should know that they're fake they didn't mean anything they said they just wanted to see if they could get you under their thumb again which is why many of them will still be in contact with the other person even after they come back to you the person they left you for they will come back telling you that things are going to be different but they're still talking to them because as long as they think someone's a fool they will always be there they will never completely leave them alone they will still consider them as an option which is why you should never let the narcissist back in you should never think that they have changed because they're just going to use that as an opportunity to hurt you even more they're never going to change anything because they're used to living in that way they're quite comfortable with instability and disorder they don't mind laying in their own filth so it wouldn't bother them if they should have to experience that again but whatever they were trying to accomplish it didn't work out and that is why they want to come back to you they only come back because they failed elsewhere you never meant anything to them you may remember those times when you used to cook food together or when you used to walk on the beach holding hands or when you used to laugh and joke and tell funny stories and some of you may have lots of pictures and videos of them on your phone and it brings back memories, it makes you reminisce you indulge in this recollection of past events but you need to understand that none of that was real that person never even existed if they did they would be there for you they would be by your side they never would have allowed you to go through all of that on your own they would have been in your corner because they would have had the same feelings that you had for them but they didn't feel anything and that is how it was so easy for them to leave you that is how it's so easy for them to come back after everything they've done like nothing happened like you never went through anything so don't let those memories influence your decision making it may have been real for you but it wasn't real for them because they're unable to experience that they don't develop close bonds or meaningful connections the only thing they care about is themselves and that is never going to change no matter how much you may want it to if you take them back, they're just going to do the same things again they're going to do the same things they did that hurt you in the first place you may feel lonely and it's normal you may remember those times when you used to sit on the couch and watch movies together those times when you would just lay on the bed and do nothing but none of that was real because they were never really invested in you but you think about those times and it makes you wonder how these things could cause them to move aimlessly from place to place because you don't understand what went wrong and then they finally come back and you think things are going to get better you think things are going to be different but they're not coming back because they miss you they're not coming back because they're sorry for what they did to you they're coming back because things didn't work out elsewhere and they're using you to compensate for their failures they're using you to free themselves from what distresses and harms they can feel better but they will never tell you the truth they come back with all the answers and excuses they always have a reason for why they did what they did or they come back to you like nothing happened like they never did anything wrong because they have no intention of making things right thank you for watching if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up share your thoughts in the comment section hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications if you would like to support the channel you can donate at paypal.ame slash narcciviver you can book a one on one with me on my website it's narcciviver.co.uk thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon