 We are live on Facebook Facebook YouTube YouTube and Periscope Talking about sex. Let's talk about. Yeah, so Steve We're at the under 20 convention Orlando, Florida 2016 you just came off stage. Yeah gave an awesome talk Your talk was titled what every young man needs to know. Yep about sex. Yep Yeah, so uh look the convention has been pretty crazy, but Basically, like yeah, this speech was the main reason why I came also hosted doing a lot of other Responsibilities here, so it's kind of crazy So it was like man finally I get to talk and focus on this one thing But I can really express and so this is important just because like You know, we get sex wrong a lot And then there's all these industries based around it and they get it wrong a lot including I think a lot of the pickup industry including a lot of I'm even people who've spoken at the 21 convention It hasn't really been the story of sex and sexual health health that I've seen it's been something that is like Man this I don't know this thing. You're supposed to chase or do or how to become a man through it Whereas my story and the story of like the communities that we've had have been Like sex has really changed me for the better in a good way independent of behavior independent of You know like I could be doing crazy stuff. I could be doing normal stuff But it made me know what a man was more masculinity Connected me more with women built relationships and all those different things that are so important, you know So did you am in your talk, I'm just looking at some notes that Rob made So Rob's doing the air all the slide shows he's also been doing a bit of periscope One of the questions obviously I didn't get to see you unfortunately, but it looks like you talked about men's groups. Yeah you know implications talked about like STD's and children so Keep going keep going The question is how do you find these specific groups of men? Yeah? Yeah, so I actually got into this in the in the speech I mean look we have men's groups that are facilitated through my company, but you can find them in other places, too You should be able within any Moderately large city be able to find support groups for men and I don't mean that like Men and it's tough but where men meet up and talk about different things you you'll have to look man. There'll be some Ones that are bad like layers for pickup are essentially usually men's groups and oftentimes they're bad, you know, just because there's so much Chasing pickup shit in there, but but they could be good. I mean the 21 convention came from a layer of men's group the Tampa Orlando layer and Like that's how sock man Anthony. That's how all of them got combined. Yeah, and I'm Yeah, so to find a men's group they're available one thing that I brought up in my speech is I think community is essential and And there's only four companies that I know that have communities which I brought up on the In the talk and it hit me because well David TN as a community and they produce good men I've met him We have a lot of cross clients good stuff ours on Marata. So is and Perion's company. We have a ton of cross clients They helped out in the structure of my speech Community a lot of good dudes very different than David's group, but great dudes Bravo Steve Stephen Stephen Grush who? Spoke here too to anyone's convention alumni and spoke at this event He has a community to good men come from it and there's other people who have like forums or shit like that But at my company we have there's a call right now. It's 12 nights or 219 Eastern time on Sunday. There's a call that goes 16 hours sometimes in my group. That's happening right now We're guys from all over the world talk and almost every day of the week We have a group that talks and it's been one of the most useful things because community just changes so much So men's groups are important. They're there. It's I think it's great to meet face-to-face, but obviously we do it online And speaking of men's groups. Yeah, um, have you ever heard of the mankind project? Yeah So I was I recently like I did a little bit of research on it and some of the things I Encountered was things like oh meant that the mankind group is for kind of like It's kind of like one of those groups that talk shit about men more than anything else like there's a few groups like that I've never been on the mankind group, but there's guys who came from there on our program So I can just say here say but what seems I mean dude, I don't know it could be great, you know but what it What they seem to say is like There's not like good leadership there or the leadership is You're like I don't know like not a strong man or something. It's like too too many weak men And yeah, it's too easy to like be seen as the best there's Yeah, there's like a lot of groups and like what are some I guess groups or just Content to avoid that is supposedly, you know for masculinity, but in reality it kind of goes against masculinity Like I know there's a lot of stuff out there I mean so I have opinions on it, but for me that there's too much ideology so too much structure of what you have to believe That's that's kind of crazy and you look at this like so with Zan Are you gonna it's just like travel Travel see beauty, you know He's in delight, you know, that's what life is about and there's all these like loose principles That and anybody can do it. You don't have to be a traveler You don't have to be a vagabond, but it's like we believe in beauty. That's like the Xan thing, right and then If you look at David Tien's it's like success like success and be a man that can build up his life to have you know kind of this voicing of Success and social elite type thing that's going on and Basically like you get that voicing from it bravo a lot of military and fighting shit mine It's all like, how can we be healthy? Like I would say that I was talking with David about this, but With me like if you want emotional sanity to work through it's like really crazy problems in your life My groups where it's like if you've experienced trauma come to us But again in that one, too, it's like no ideology. I think with Steve's There might be a little bit more than that, but they're a good community I mean, I know a lot of guys who belong to it and it's done really well, but In all those other ones man, there's a real loose principle based thing, which I know is a hot topic like They really live it if you talk to any ours on Marati guy They'll talk to you about ease and delight. It's not just some words. How did they live it if you talk to a TSL? It's like all life expresses itself or You know nature doesn't need science, but science needs man needs science to understand nature Stuff like that. We'll talk about like how that works in every aspect of our life It's kind of cool Awesome stuff. All right. I'm gonna have a question here. Um, this is a real specific question So this guy asks How should I react when I find out that I have an STD? Media he goes on to say, you know media culture demonizes it as if your life is over And he wants to know what is a strong or resourceful way to deal cope with the initial shock Well learn about him I mean like herpes is the most common one that I hear people talk about and get all upset about But a lot of people have it You never get rid of it, but it can like Like go or be less you get less outbreaks over time and shit like that Yeah, I know people with HIV. I know people with Hep C that have sex lives and Like You need to learn about it and in learning about you need to learn what you need to do like dude Hep C is a brutal thing. I know a lot of people who have it and they can function with it I know people who've actually done the treatment to cure themselves of it, which is kind of new and um You need to find out like the reality of it don't run from it It's so easy to like not look up the the different specifics about it You need to learn how you transmit it. Obviously you need to learn like Like how you stay healthy, especially if it really taxes your body like Hep C or any of the hepatitis is or HIV or something like that and I'm coming up with so much stuff for HIV just like It's amazing. Like I really think that there will be Some sort of cure I mean they have Preventive things that they could do now and then people who get it depends on the strain they can manage it But you know that can be brutal when it really takes home But those two are like can be intense and I know people that live great You know with them in that they take their meds and do all that sort of stuff. They have sex lives so Just know that there's a whole lot of people who have STDs that That feel bad about it and that's the majority and that's sad because there's a ton of people Who have learned not the majority just a ton with just like you know, whatever thousands But not the majority of people who have STDs But these people have learned to function with them and you can and especially stuff like You know, you always feel bad if you like gonorrhea or you know, chlamydia or something chlamydia is like super common HPV Well chlamydia gonorrhea stuff like that. You can treat those very easily man, cut the shame learn your lesson, right and If you have something like HPV, you know, maybe Like a lot of women have it a lot of people are carriers of it, but they don't outbreak with it you know, there's things you can do sometimes to get rid of it, but Gotta learn about it how you can transmit it how you communicate to somebody about it that you have it It's not a big deal. People will still you know hook up with you. There might be some people that react to it, but That's not it's more common for them. If you know how to communicate it to still Have sex with you and stuff like that It's good stuff There's another question in here about This is a question probably a lot of guys want to ask but don't know how I ask it maybe in the right way So the question is The guy saying I've had a one-night stand He's looking for just a casual relationship, he's not looking for anything serious. He just wants to explore his sexuality And the specific question is when he underperforms on that one-night stand What how should he react to that and can you give an example of that as like a lot to it? So first off does he get one-night stands get one-night stands? I Have more experience with it, but so underperforms look is this an actual performance problem? Or is it only when you have one-night stands? So that's another thing because if it's one-night stands is probably an anxiety thing to it but if you don't get that with A girl that you date or especially a girl that you're in a relationship with and it's totally an anxiety thing and what? Cures anxiety is normalizing something Okay, so and pick up we see socializing as abnormal So because we see it as abnormal we exaggerate things and then those things kind of fuck us up in But socializing is normal. It's what human beings do so we got to learn a normal way Where we can then what I feel apply social dynamics to learn it with sex. It's the same thing It's like the most normal. It's like more normal in some ways than being social or our bodies You can't just have sex with somebody on the street. Maybe you can but You eat the function of sex is totally normal for your body to have and especially like even a one-night stand Which is fast sex like the human body escalates very quick Human brain will escalate sexually very quick if you're if you have the right situations and so on So if you make that happen, you have a skill to do that Like your body's made to perform well and when bodies don't perform well It's usually because there's an anxiety wrapped around it and that anxiety is fear. It could be so many things but fear of You know performance looking bad You feel bad about yourself. You're mad about women or some something like that and so that'll keep you from like Like Being able to have good sex and express yourself for me I started out and pick up having one night stands and That's all we did. So like my first whatever 40 lays or something probably 30 of them or same-night lays as they call them and Yeah, man, they were there was a lot of good stuff. I'd say the second time we had sex third time We had sex was always better, but She's thinking the same thing too. There's another thing in the speech like she Don't worry. You're probably not good at it. She's not good at it either. Especially if you're young, you know, so those are important Can you give a specific example of like? Obviously, you're married now During a relationship Could you take us tell her maybe a specific story about Back in the day when you were struggling with this stuff and you suffer like suffered with this Like performance kind of anxiety. So there's only two times that two times where I didn't get hard So now that I'm in a longer relationship that'll happen just because like sex isn't so like I mean, we've had sex Yeah, yeah, it's like and you get older too, but when I was 30 when I was 35 Easy for me to get hard all the time But there were two times two times didn't happen both in Vegas. So one I was with this PUA dude And we picked up these chicks And they were 18 so we're like older and there's like these hot 18 year olds But I don't know why it was I can't explain it right and it was total when I like very quick, right? So he actually takes a chick in the bathroom. I take the chick on the bed as a situation In the hotel here the other day when some guy was getting laid and everybody had to wait outside of the room It's me and my buddies pick up guy were so used to this That he just took the bathroom. I got the bed, which was kind of cool, right? So he goes in the bathroom you fucks this chick like fucks her for like 10 minutes and then they go And I was like going crazy like I am I was always a guy that likes sex more So I was like, I don't know why but I could not get hard to save my life This girl was like Inexperienced but way too into it and acting all like it just seemed kind of fake But I've been with people like that before and totally been able to fuck him And it was weird too because she squirted but like Usually you have to stimulate internally to squirt like almost always girl you like touched your postage. She's like Dude I tried so hard man for like an hour trying to fuck this I could not get hard I was like fuck And you feel bad whenever that happens right so instantly you're the human body and mind of a man you feel bad You just feel like such a turd and this had never happened to me before but it's quite common and um like uh, basically what happened was is uh The next day so I was lucky Okay, because the second time this didn't happen. Okay, so the next day my girlfriend from california came to vegas Works amazing because that was the biggest fear is like this doesn't work. What's going on with me mad anxiety You can't avoid the anxiety, but you can do you can Ease it anxiety is gonna happen but hour two day Day and a half started a phase out of it and uh, I was able to have sex with the You know my girlfriend and I felt better Here's the other thing is uh The next time it happened I was in vegas Fuck this chick again happened really almost too fast like 10 minutes And I started fucking her and I could stay or I got hard Said having sex with her and I just couldn't can I don't know why I was into her I don't know someone's off couldn't put my finger on because there's been times where I've been totally not into chicks And I'll be hard. I used to talk about this all the time like having a hard dick fucks with you Like it sucks Because like if you if you don't have a hard dick and you're about to fuck some girl that you don't really want to fuck You'd be like, oh, sorry, but it would be like Okay, it's here. She'd be like give me that dick and then she just anyway, so basically Yeah, I couldn't believe it and then two weeks went by before I got laid again two weeks So the whole time I was like, oh man, what's going on? Jesus christ. Fuck. Fuck. Oh my god But uh, you know after three or four days it just stayed in the back of my head, but it wasn't such a big deal