 I'll be back. The phrase uttered by Arnold Schwarzenegger and 30 years later still being butchered by idiots like me. The reason why? Terminator kicks ass. Today, we're doing the best and the worst of the first four leading up to Terminator Genesis. Let's get started with the bottom of the barrel, as usual. This will undoubtedly be higher on people's lists, but this is as far from Terminator as I want to go. Taking place past the major war, which we've been waiting to see for three freaking films now, and instead taking us to a war-torn wasteland, we see another version of John Connor. He's like the kid on Christmas Vacation or Vegas Vacation that he changes every fucking time, really getting annoying. Anyway, there's a ton of plot holes. There's a lot of campy dialogue. Nothing adds up in the slightest and Arnold's missing, for the most part, besides this horrendous CGI version at the end. It doesn't fly. Honestly, the machines have Kyle Reese. Just fucking kill him! No, it's over! The machines win! Kill Kyle Reese! Why do you keep him hostage? It makes no sense! T3 is a dumb film. I am aware of this. It's also a guilty pleasure of mine. It has enough going for it, I think, that I can forgive some of the stupider things, like the star glasses and all the other cheesy campy callbacks to T2, which of course is the superior film. It has a really cool ending that has our heroes trapped in a bunker as hundreds of missiles launch on Earth. God knows the fear and intensity from the earlier installments, and instead replaced by a hot supermodel called the TX. I can't imagine anybody outside of the writers thinking this was a good idea. Let's put Arnold against his toughest opponent yet. A hot supermodel. Why? In 1984, James Cameron crafted a beautiful time-traveling experience and wisely cast the one man who could pull off a lifeless killing machine, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold puts more bodies in the ground in two hours than Game of Thrones does in an entire season. I overreached. I could even tell that. That was too much. If you for some reason don't have T2 in the number one spot on your own personal list, you might want to rethink your life and then end it. I feel like I've used that line before. Man, I threaten the audience a lot. I apologize. Also, besides Arnold, there's the equally badassery coming from Linda Hamilton. She's freaking amazing. Then there's the villain. One of my favorite villains of all time, the T1000 liquid metal fucking insane puts a blade through a guy's mouth and a carton of milk, not in that order. It's more like, I can't remember which way it is. Ah, it just looks like I'm trying to grab onto a dick. This is an incredible movie, bottom line. Tons of action, awesome chase sequences you will remember, judgment day has come, people. Judgment day has come and then it comes again like two more times. A lot of judgment coming, coming all over the place. The Terminator franchise is a mess. It's not perfect in the slightest, but it does hold a special place for me. T1 and T2, the Cameron films, I mean those stand on their own. I believe that that's the beginning and the end and everything else is just icing on the cake. Kind of shitty old icing, but icing I'm still going to try at least and pretend that I like. I want to hear your best and worst below of the Terminator series. Check me out on Patreon. You know why? This was a Patreon's idea. So head on over there. More than just reviews, this is Movie Feuds.